Who will buy my flowers, Darling

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

So...Let me introduce briefly again...

We have Quincy, MD of QL Flowers, who specialise in all types of floral display, wreaths etc. but particularly focusing on flowers for funerals. Quincy was contacted by the good General Anal (thanks mentor Thumbs up

) and as QL is such a new company is excited to hear that he's trying to get out the dangerous situation in Syria he's currently facing and is able to invest some $19 million USD.

Quincy hopes such investments will make QL a global brand.

Intro from General Anal:

Quote:

Hello

How are you?

I am contacting for the second time.

I am Anal, U.S soldier currently in Syria. and I have a proposal for you.

During an operation last week I and few of my troop members recovered a large amount of money and I want to move this money to a safe place, that's reason am contacting you. Please we can only communicate through email because I wouldn't want other troop members to hear about this.

I came across your email address as I was searching online and I want to know if I can trust? I am willing to offer you 35% from my share of this money US$19 Million if you are willing to do the deal with me and I also want you to know that this is not going endanger your living in any way.

Here is my personal email address: ([email protected]) you can reply me here if you are willing to do this deal with me.

And I will advise you further on how you can receive this fund.

Please ignore this message if you are not interested or come on and ask me if you have any question.

I will wait for your response.

Best Regards,
Gen. Anal

Of course Quincy is interested. Who wouldn't be?

Quote:

Darling Gen. Anal.
Blessings to you Darling. This is quite a lot of money even for me. Would you be interested in investing in my Floral Design company, QL FLOWERS?
Love & Kisses.
Quincy

QL
(Kickstarter Project)

The good General takes some time out to respond. Bizarrely 4 times using 3 different names Confused

and already giving Quincy the winky winky come on:

Quote:

my dear Quincy

Thank you my darling for your email, I'm glad too you have a business where we can invest this money in.

I am General Anal and actually we are in Arab Republic of Syria where we were deployed to.
Few week ago we debunked the most heavy Terrorists Camp between Syria/North Turkey Border and we recovered heavy ammunition and huge amount of money which we shared between the top officers who where present during that operation. and I want to move this money to a safe hand and this is why I contacted you. Please I don't want to lose this wealth, I am suppose to wait until we have seen each other face to face before moving this wealth to your destination but this job wont let me to step an inch out of camp, also this wealth is not safe here so I must have to move is out of this place. But before that I want you to assure me that my portion will be safe until my return from this God forsaken place.

Like I said previously. I am willing to offer you 35% of the total money which is $19 million USD. Actually coming to your request if I can invest in your business, yes it has been my intention to quit this hell called a job but after next year and set up a company but we can have the wealth invested into your business, all we need is discuss terms and we forge ahead.

Also, can I ask you something, what is your marital status and do you have children?

Please get back to me and trow your question if you have any.

I will wait for your response.

Best Regards,
Gen. Anal

Hoorah! QL Flowers can make it globally if it hits the big time and Quincy knows these things don't come around that often:

Quote:

Dearest General,
Oh dear, Flower. I am saddened to hear of the pickle you are in. It sounds terrifying but with all that wealth you must feel heartened it will soon be over. I can of course assist with any financial transactions, Darling. It is safe isn't it, Darling?
We could invest in my company QL Flowers and this will of course keep funds secure, Darling. I already have £250,000 of my own funds invested to improve my global presence, Darling. With another investor I would increase this with another £250,000 of my own.
I am in a long term open relationship, Darling, but no my partner and I cannot possibly have children. We will try to adopt in the future, Darling. How about you? I need to shut the shop for the weekend, Darling, but look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Huggle,
Quincy

Fingers crossed this posts OK, Darlings. It's my first go!

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:36 pm

Good luck to you. Seems your lad is already off script! Keep it up. Great lad name.

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:54 pm

Good luck with this one. He's answering your questions, so that's a good start I'd say

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Hugely import when your a General trying to move 19 million safely out of a warzone

Quote:

Also, can I ask you something, what is your marital status and do you have children?

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

I'm grabbing the popcorn. Good luck with this.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Sep 2019 Posts: 12

Surely we need to know what the currency this stash of dosh is in?
Can it be exchanged for £'s without causing investigations and if so how will the scammer assure this?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

I'm starting to think this lad might be newer at this malarkey than me! He now seems to be lining poor Quincy up for a dating scam as well as your bog standard offer for money...

Whilst it hasn't been said directly...Quincy's over usage of the word 'Darling' and his penchant for flower artistry...it would suggest to me he might not make the best "wife" in the real sense - someones' 'bitch' perhaps?

Quote:

Dear Quincy,
hope you arrived home safely dear, actually I have a boy before my wife passed on and ever since then I have been single and lonely too, even the house became boring and son goes to my mom during holidays, for a quit number of years I have not returned to the states after being assigned 4years special duty but will vacate around June 2020, that's is the earliest we can meet. honey I really need a good lady in my miserable life, I think we have the same life style honey, i don't need any more children, just need someone that will show me some love. hope we can get together?

Concerning your business, yes I will have this fund moved over to you, you have for yourself the 35% of the amount 19Million USD which is much more than the amount you need to invest into your business unless you have more places to invest more money into. So i think you should bank the rest of this money and I will be visiting during my vacation.

Let me have your address, phone number and any ID of yours.

Thank you honey.

Yours Sincerely
Gen Anal

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:21 am

I'm more concerned at the lads use of the word 'Anal' lol Shocked

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:04 pm

^I believe that's Harry's name for the lad to avoid Google.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

^Exactly like Zombini explained...Provided by my mentor and fits very well...even better when/if the good General manages to get Quincy's home address!

Quincy's flower shop was closed over the weekend and for reasons that might come to light later he doesn't have email when not at the shop. The General was a bit impatient and sent the same email again, but Quincy will only reply the once:

Quote:

Dearest Anal,
May I call you Anal, Darling? I had a beautiful weekend at my Manor House. It is looking quintessentially delightful, but there is still a lot of work to be done, Darling.
It is such a sad picture you paint. The passing of your wife, the disconnected relationship you have with your son whilst palming him off to your poor mother and the excessively difficult job you face in Syria. Poor Darling. But then you did make me blush, Darling. I must say my cheeks reddened like I'd been spanked like a naughty little boy. It's very early days to be discussing us getting together, but never say never, Darling.
I am most excited about our business opportunities QL Flowers will become a global name. I would welcome you as a partner, Darling.
I am very overwhelmed with joy at your request for my photo, but I am incredibly shy, Darling. Please send me your photo and I promise I will do the same, Darling. I just need to know you are real.
Bisous,
Quincy

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:51 pm

I like your style. Looking forward to see where this is going

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

Latest from the General:

Quote:

Yes Darling, you can call me Anal and I hope I can call Queen instead? thank you and I hope you are having a blissful day at the shop today? indeed it was a very bad experiences losing someone we love. mom takes good care of my son and buy lots of things for him each time he goes over to mom's house and he already get along with the situation.
My queen, I understand, ladies are always shy, but as you can see i have attached mine (fake General's photo) and can't wait to see yours honey, hope you wouldn't mind this time. I believe God has a purpose for us to have come in contact this time that my heart is so empty and searching for one and praise to God i have meet not just a beautiful lady but a Queen and I can't wait for us to start loving each other.

Also I want you to send your phone number and home address for arranging moving this trunk box to you. I had it deposited with a firm at the Syria city and when I have gotten your details I will have them forwarded to them through the email as we have moved about 520 miles away which is about 8 hours drive so I told them I will be forwarding details to them through the email because it wont be easy for me to drive such far, this is about 16 hours going and coming back. So honey I will be expecting your details as we will talk more. Kisses

Loving you my queen.
Gen. Anal

Quincy has replied very quickly this evening as things are hotting up with messages of love and praising:

Quote:

Darling Anal,
You are a very handsome man. I hope you don't mind me saying, Darling! And of course you can call me a Queen. I am renowned for it with my close friends and confidantes. May I be so bold, Darling, and tell you I feel we have a very strong connection. I haven't felt like this for such a long time - I get giddy waiting for you to contact me. Attached is my passport photo - I hope you like it, Darling, but it isn't very flattering.
What with the shop and the renovations at The Manor House I am so very very busy. The shop has only been open for a matter of weeks, Darling, but already I have made some beautiful displays and wreaths. But The Manor House is looking spectacular, Darling.
Unfortunately I cannot send you the full address as I simply do not yet have it. The Manor House was derelict at the end of Butts Ln, but after winning it at auction for £400,000, I discovered it was no longer registered with Land Registry, Darling - Can you imagine what a kerfuffle that is? I now have to complete the renovation and make it fully habitable, Darling. No expense is being spared though, I can assure you. I have attached a map of where The Manor House is located, Darling. At the end of Butts Ln is a glorious gravel driveway which leads for half a mile up to the property. It will be stunning, Darling. There is no phone at The Manor House - I don't even have the internet - this is why I can only make contact with you during the week when in my AirBNB whilst I work, Darling.
Is there another way to help with the movement of the trunk, Darling? Perhaps I could pay for a flight to get you out of Syria. Would that work? You would have to go AWOL, Darling, but we could hide you. Let me know.
Huggintons,
Quincy

Quincy attached two .heic files...well they never were .heic files so would never have opened anyway...but I'm intrigued to see if this lad will have any idea what they are.

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:31 am

Looks like you're getting him hooked. He's definitely off script and you're giving him screaming hints of your wealth, so you might have a good chance on getting him to stick around. Good job, please keep going

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

Now I wonder why the poor General couldn't open the photos Quincy sent?

Quote:

My Queen, thank you so much, of course i cant wait to get out of this deathtrap all in the name of serving my country. honey am happy to have a darling again in my life, I can feel the fresh joy inside my heart and all over my body. Yes honey, I can leave this place but you have to be in possession of the trunk box first and I will make the necessary plans on leaving, even as a superior there is still procedure, although it has to a backdoor movement.

Meanwhile, honey, the attached copies are all empty, probably they were not properly attached, so have either seen your picture nor the location to give to the firm for moving trunk over to you. You need to get Address and phone number otherwise it might difficult for the delivery person locate your place but with reaching you on the phone he will be able to get to you.

Thank you my queen, I will be waiting again for your picture so I can see my angel.

Kisses
Anal

Very good of him to mention the 'backdoor' too. At some point Quincy will send his selfie photo, unless I can get him to drop the BS about the trunk box somehow and stop asking - think I'm expecting a bit much though.

He's trying to get information that just doesn't exist so Quincy tries to suggest another wonderful idea:

Quote:

Anal Darling,
I'm not sure what happened with my pictures I attached. They looked fine here but I need help to try again. My partner, Crispy, helped me last night, Darling, but he has left the shop for a long weekend. I will try to do it myself, Darling. I will ask my driver, Colm, to help me. He is very kind and knows I am such a technophobe.
Do you think we could send the trunk to a PO Box located near The Manor House, Darling? Do you have these in the US? It's a bit like a secure delivery location with the Royal Mail and I use it for all my post until I have a full address, Darling.
Crispy did try to arrange for a phone line today, but has been told it could take 6-12 weeks at The Manor House.
I am feeling very alone at the moment, Dearest Anal. Work is over bearing and now Crispy is gone it is so quiet. Please could I ask a huge favour? Please could you take a photo in your uniform with a rose in between your lips? That would be amazing, Darling and I would very much appreciate it. I could print it and put on my bedside table. It would be like a movie but in real life.
Kisses for now,
Quincy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

OMG! I didn't see this one coming! The General needs Quincy's assistance:

Quote:

Dearest my Queen,
How are you doing today honey? I understand how you feel staying all alone in the shop and no one to talk with, feeling lonely. Just wish I can fly now to be with you honey but I can't, honestly once after the trunk is delivered I will give you contact of someone who can work my exit from here, I have no joy here anymore and the rebel issue is getting worse by day. Honey you have to take things easy and do not exhaust yourself with too much work, you can employ one or two more helpers. remember we are going to expand the business in a short time now so employing more hands is the option. I really would love to send more pictures to you but my other phone has developed problem and I can only send pictures I have on my laptop, you know how bad the camp is. Don't worry honey, we gonna be together soon and we take more pictures together.

Honey you can provide any secured address where they can deliver it to, remember this trunk contains a whole lot of money and it has to go through a trusted address where it will remain save and only you can claim it from the place.

Also I have reached the delivery firm today and they said I have to fast with the delivery information. also the operation manager said due to the recent attack at the Syria/Turkey axis, delivery agent can only take the Dubai route before he can board another flight to your country because of the and he will be needing more money which he said the sum of 2,840 Pounds for all the clearances he will need to obtain over there in Dubai and then proceed to your country. So honey we will be needing your assistance at this point because he said the money I left in their hands for expenses has exhausted due to much delay on my part. Like I told you the trunk has lasted for many number of weeks and I was not chanced all the while to contact you due to the bad situation of this place and there was no internet as well.

Loving you more honey
Yours Anal

I wonder how Quincy can possibly help!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

With a safe and secure PO Box in London of course...

Quote:

Dearest Anal,
That sounds so awful! I almost feel so terribly, terribly guilty when I read such emails, Darling. I had to wash down my Beluga Caviar with a big swig of Dom Perignon just now as I choked up so.
I have positive news though, Darling. I have managed to register for a safe delivery location, Darling. Isn't that exciting? It's only around the corner from the shop so I can get there without delay and as it's in a Royal Mail Mail Centre, there won't be any issues with your carrier finding it.
The address is: Mount Pleasant Mail Centre, PO Box ######, Farringdon Road, London EC1A 1BB
Do not delay any further, Darling. Pay that £2,840 immediately and get that trunk safely on the way to me. Then we just need to work on getting you here so we can hopefully plan a life together. Let me know as soon as you have a date for the delivery, Darling. Try to make sure it isn't a weekend though - if I am not at The Manor I like to take some time out shopping.
Hugs and Kisses,
Quincy

Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2019 9:02 pm

This lad must moonlight as a correspondent for Associated Press. Jerk off is milking the Syria/Turkey conflict. Glad you suggested that he pay the 2,840 pounds. I'm sure he'll have zero problem with that. I hope that caviar is Russian and not Iranian as there is no worse disappointment than when the help brings you a plate of subpar briny toast points....

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

^You'd think he could just pop his sticky little fingers into the trunk before shipping. Problem solved. I think Quincy might have to suggest that.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

It looks like General Anal is really happy with Quincy's solution for the delivery of $19m and so caring to think that at 22:00 he might have gone to bed:

Quote:

Queen honey, thank you so much for your effort getting a registered address, you are a darling, kisses! I can now forward it to them, sure am happy.
Honey I won't be able to leave the camping, you must have heard on the news about what happened the recent time, running alone on the far and bushy leading the Syrian city is going through the lion damn and life threatening, remember what I told you earlier about moving far distance away from the former camp and to take not less than 16 hours to run the way. And i want to urge that you help to settle this cost on my behalf honey so they won't be delayed in Dubai where the agent will be flying direct to London. I can inform them to ensure they move during maybe weekend so they will be able to arrive during weekday for you to be able to pick it up the same day honey. thank you for your understanding Queen, so excited and I can't wait to have us live together. loving you honey.
Thank you, I know you might have gone to bed by now, good night and have sweet dreams honey.
yours Anal

Of course Quincy is more than willing to "help" with the cost:

Quote:

Darling Anal,
I have been so busy at The Manor. All weekend planning which throws I want where, how many cushions I would like on the chaise longue. You wouldn't believe the stresses of it, Darling. I did miss speaking with you though. I know I shouldn't, Darling, but I just can't help myself.
Of course I can help you settle the cost, Darling. If you can give me the address of your base, I will pop a £50 cheque in the post this afternoon. Will that be enough? I can the make sure the set up of the PO Box is nearing completion, Darling, so I can be assured of receiving the trunk once it has shipped.
Hugs, Cuddles and Stuff,
Quincy

I think he'll be overjoyed!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

General Anal clarifies the situation:

Quote:

Queen honey, I am happy to receive your email now, I have thoughts of your like every minutes and I just hope that in a short while from now we will be together and for ever. its been a serious fight over there this few days but I thank God my team still has no count of causality. honey how are you doing? i know you being stressed with putting things together at the Manor. remember you have to work safely.
Please when is the PO Box to be ready ? Please I want you to know that you are not sending money to me, the money is to be sent over to the agent when he arrives in dubai where he will get the needed documents and to fly to London from there. honey please we how you can arrange the complete cost 2840 so that the agent wont be delayed when he arrives in dubai. also get the Po Box ready so he deposit trunk when he get to the box.
thank you so much honey and remain happy.
Much love for you
Anal.

As I have learnt on here though it is of course the lads fault when something isn't clear...but of course Quincy can help by sending a bigger cheque:

Quote:

Darling Anal,
I read your email sneakily this morning and couldn't wait to reply later tonight when I have more time.
I just thought you needed help with the payment, Darling. That's why I only offered £50. Had you asked me for the full payment I would've agreed immediately, so please do try to be clear. Of course I can pay that amount in full.
Darling, send me the address of the agent in Dubai. I will send him or her the cheque this afternoon as I should have time to pop to the Post Office. I can then check to see if the PO Box is all set up, Darling. I should hope so by now.
Do not delay, Darling. Send me that address and I will pop the cheque in the mail.
Kisses for you,
Quincy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Oct 2019 Posts: 49

I think the General is definitely falling for Quincy's charm...Love is in the air:

Quote:

Queen honey, hope you are fine this morning? am happy to receive your email honey, honey since you came into my life honestly I notice positive changes, i feel more joy despite the current situation over here. I love you so much. honey not at all, I do not need money, my concern is the trunk, honey I will be so happy if you can send the full amount to the agent over there in dubai to enable him to do the needful.

Yes honey I want to you to remit the full amount 2840 Pounds to the agent, he has also provided bank information where to wire the cost so that he will be able to obtain the documents and proceed immediately to deliver to you. As you can see below here forwarded copy of his message with the bank details to make the transfer to dubai through the bank to bank wire transfer. honey you can scroll down the screen to see the forwarded message with bank details to transfer the cost. thank you honey.

Loving you more my Queen, you mean so much to me.
yours Anal

Bank account reported! Happy first Closed lad accounts

day to me! I have to say the additional email in the chain with the details wasn't very convincing Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Darling Anal,
I hope the turmoil isn't too bad today?
There must be some confusion,Darling. I went to the Post Office and told them I would like to send the cheque via bank to bank transfer and they laughed at me. I didn't understand why and got most upset. I showed them the address details for Mr Conk that you sent me, Darling, and they explained I couldn't send a cheque there to Mr Conk.
What has gone wrong, Darling. Please help? I am very confused by all this now and might have to have a sit down tonight with a glass of gin. If you can explain how I do this, Darling, I can try again tomorrow morning before opening the shop.
Bisous mon cherie,
Quincy

Not the brightest star in the sky is our Quincy, but the General is happy to explain and clarify that Quincy must go to the bank, where he has a bank account, at the bank:

Quote:

Queen honey, thank you, the situation is getting a bit calm.
honey you dont have to be, just relax your temper, just that you cannot make a wire transfer at the post office , no honey, you can only transfer money through your bank. You have to go to your bank, (bank where you have an account with) and tell them you want to make an international wire transfer over to bank in Dubai and they will give you an application form where you fill the bank details on it and then submit to them so they will transfer the amount 2840 to the Mr. Conk's account. I hope you now understand how now? it is very easy honey, You have to go to your bank and they will transfer the money for you.
Loving you more honey, please I do not want you to be upset whatsoever, i want you to be happy and keep loving each other like never before.
Take good care of yourself honey
Anal

Phew! That's much clearer...but it's late in the UK now so he'll have to wait for Quincy to get the application form:

Quote:

Darling Anal,
Thank you thank you thank you, Darling! I am such a doofus sometimes, Darling. I feel so silly now. Fancy trying to send a cheque like that, Darling.
I understand fully now. I need to go to the bank tomorrow morning in this case. First thing and get the form to complete the bank transfer.
I will wear my favourite tracksuit so as not to draw attention to myself.
Good night, Darling.
Quincy
P.S. Darling Anal. I did get good news today though. The PO Box will now work for receipt of the trunk, Darling. Isn't that fabulous?

Does anyone have such a form kicking about? I'm sure Quincy might need the General to help fill it in.

Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 9:05 pm

^Check the baiting toolkit thread over in Help, Hints, and Tips.

Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:49 pm

If you had a half decent mentor, they'd probably congratulate you on your first piggy instead of asking when you'll pull two from the lad.

They would probably provide you with a link to that thread Zombini mentioned, too.

Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 6:46 am

Since his mentor returned, I stepped back again, so for now only this:

clapping

Congrats on your first piggy!

Your mentor might be too busy with hugs 'n cuddles.

Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:24 am

Congrats on the Oinker!

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