A preview of what’s to come? Safari count: 9, 4 continents

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Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 11:44 pm

(I’m keeping this behind login just to be safe).
Lad #1:

Quote:

lol, sure let me see how it will work with the guy first.

let pray so

As a funny coincidence, that lad’s friend is from Cote D’Ivoire, and they get visa free access to Morocco. I think that’s a perfect place for a valuable package to end up.

Lad #2:
This lad is currently in Milan and sounded pretty well-connected there; I had some ideas for doing an European adventure, but the lad wanted to know about African pick-ups, and wouldn’t you know it I had something in mind.

Quote:

I am a traveler

Quote:

I am a serious dude

Quote:

It is not from Italy I will fly to morroco. Nigeria to morroco is close and accessible than flying from Italy to morroco

Quote:

Ur prayer is to let the my first job with u go successfully

If all goes well, that lad will get what he wished for. He said he’d get back to me in 48 hours, so I’ll give him that time to prepare. If it means that he will he willing to buy himself an expensive plane ticket and show up in a foreign country where he doesn’t speak the language, listening to the lad isn’t a bad thing. Based on what I've heard from him so far, he has the perfect combination of intelligence, resources, and naivete: he's smart enough to understand the potential financial benefits of this deal, even with a package only worth around $12000, but not so much so that he questions my excuses about not being able to call him or do videos (I'm telling all the lads that the American government monitors all non-Gmail and Hangouts communications, which has gone over surprisingly well with everyone so far); he's able to travel to a lot of places, but nowhere is it effortless or extremely convenient, especially as I'm guessing he will have issues with getting a visa (he said that he'd handle all the transport stuff, so I'll let him solve this problem for me); finally, he's experienced enough to know that I'm in charge and that for his first job, extra security precautions should be in order, but he's willing to gallivant across the globe after talking with someone for under an hour.

There’s also one more who didn’t say anything too amusing, but he’s interested in doing the Benin-Accra route. I can’t guarantee all three of these baits will result in anything, but when lads are this enthusiastic in about an hour’s worth of Hangouts chatting, you can’t help but wonder. Hangouts makes things extremely fast and convincing, especially with fake lad modalities. Being able to gauge what’s giving your lad trouble, clarify if needed, and brainstorm “better” solutions cannot be matched easily though email. Then again, lads who are willing to talk on Hangouts have made it through the initial step of reading my ASEM and deciding to learn more, so that helps too. I’ll post the ASEM (there are technically two) if I end up getting any concrete results, but my response rate is pretty decent. There is one more lad I’m hoping to hear more from tonight, and a few others expressed interest before twigging.

I’ll update this more tomorrow morning, hopefully with more definitive information from lads #1 and #3.

Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2019 7:06 pm

Looks promising. If you are just looking to keep this away from the lad's eyes, let me know and I can move the thread to premium. If this will be a mass bait or you want help from other baiters, we can leave it here in Help, Hints & Tips.

ETA.... looking forward to seeing your ASEM.

Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:37 pm

^ I'm keeping the thread here as a precaution, not necessarily because I expect lads to come; additionally, if I post the ASEMs or get other people joining in on the fun, I think it makes the most sense to keep everything here. Birlic and Bertje will be playing the PITH employees, as I'm in the wrong time zone to talk to these lads expediently unless they stay up late. Besides, although this probably should go in the Technical forum, I've never been able to actually access the Premium forum.

I'm not able to access my emails right now (or copy and paste, I mean), but here's a brief update:
-I haven't heard anything from the lad in Cote D'Ivoire yet, nor from the lad who told me about him, so I'm assuming nothing else will happen with that.
-The Milan-based lad should be getting back to me in about two hours if he sticks to his 48 hour estimate, and I'll check in with him when he's due to respond.
-The Benin-Accra lad hasn't checked the Hangouts yet recently, although he's still logging into his email. I sent him a brief message.
-Another lad I started talking to through email is showing promise; originally he picked Abidjan as his destination, although I got an email from him this morning saying that Casablanca would be preferable. Fine by me. I suspect he either decided that the Abidjan package was too small or his oga got interested and offered to help.
-Two more lads wanted to talk to me on Hangouts, although they haven't read my messages yet. Hopefully they'll check in overnight.

I'll post the ASEMs after I get a safari, as after all, I don't want to give out bad scripts. I sound just like a lad. But so far, everything is going quite smoothly, even after a few days. It's surprising how much lads are willing to self-safari when they think they're getting a good deal.

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2019 7:35 am

Getting the popcorn out. If you need any of my characters you know where to find me. This sounds like a lot of fun

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2019 5:44 pm

MrMystery314 wrote:

(I’m keeping this behind login just to be safe)

Moved to Main from Help, Hints, & Tips. HH&T is not to be used for ongoing baits, with a very select few exceptions. If you would like to be safe, get your results first, then edit appropriately.

For those curious, you can read a full discussion of what HH&T is and why ongoing baits are not there.

Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2019 12:28 am

Updates have unfortunately been a bit sparse, as many of the lads I was talking to simply haven't been online.
-I had maybe an hour-long chat with the suicide lad from this morning, who was not terribly receptive to the idea of doing something without being paid first. So much for him.
-One lad who wanted to know more on Hangouts blocked me after I sent him my proposal. Sad

-The email lad who changed from Abidjan to Casablanca disappointed me this morning:

Quote:

please i want to do it but the person i want to use is delaying with the pictures and id, please where are you from ? and your age ? let me know pls

I wasn't quite sure what this meant, but this gave me an idea to segue to another idea, which i got to in a few messages. He's quite eager to please and do something, so I'll give him that; unfortunately, I don't want to wait around for "his guy" to do stuff.

Quote:

I am from America and I am 36. Maybe Casablanca is too complicated of a job for you to start because of the ID issue. Ivory Coast is ECOWAS, so maybe that is easier. I am fine with either place but I will need better updates. What do you mean by “the person I want to use is delaying with pictures and ID”? Is this an issue when you are trying to apply for a visa? You do not need to get a fake ID, I have told you, I only need your ID because you are the one going to Morocco.

Please let me know all of these details so I know this is working well.

The lad doesn't want to problem-solve:

Quote:

Are you doing to get me morocco visa ?

Fortunately, I have a better solution in mind: I can't help him get a Moroccan visa, but I know a guy who can fly him there from an air strip. Unfortunately for the lad, this is in Abeche.

Quote:

I never said I would help with that. I gave you multiple options for the location, you picked one easy one in Abidjan, and then you changed your mind. I cannot help you with getting a visa directly, but I can show you how: this website has instructions https://travelvisa.ng/how-to-apply-for-morocco-visa-in-nigeria/.

I encourage you to try to go to your embassy and ask about getting a visa for tourism, and if you cannot get a visa for Morocco we can do somewhere else. I do have one way that you can go to Morocco if you really cannot get a visa, but it may be hard for you. I have a friend who is in Abeche in Chad who runs an airplane service. He owes me a favor and he can fly you in and out of Casablanca. You would have to meet him there at the airstrip in Abeche.

You have three options at this point, so choose the best and I can help. Please keep me informed.

Surprisingly enough, the lad thinks this is a good idea:

Quote:

Ok contact that your friend for me and let me know about the casablanca, thanks

I don't quite know what he means by "let me know about the casablanca," but I think he thinks I'm going to apply for a visa for him or something like that. I seek more clarification:

Quote:

So to clarify, you want to travel to the airfield in Abeche, Chad, and fly to Casablanca from there? When is the earliest you can get there? I will need a picture of your bus ticket when you buy it as well as ID to send to my friend. He will contact you once you arrive in Abeche. Don’t worry, this is free, and the night before you travel he will host you at his house for a traditional dinner; hospitality is extremely important in his culture.

This lad is full of ideas so far, but he's lacking in concrete actions. I'd love for him to go directly to Casablanca, but I'd rather him go to the Ivory Coast if it's simpler for him. Since he's still committed to going to Morocco, despite being either too lazy or too stupid to go, giving him a plan C ensures that whatever he picks will give me something. The interesting thing is that I've given him plenty of "easier options" with locations, yet he's still devoted to the hardest ones. I don't mind that greed, as it increases the chance he will safari, but at some point I may need to more actively temper his expectations. We'll see tomorrow morning if he bites on the Abeche plan, or if he miraculously discovers some way to go to Morocco. If he thinks this will get him to "the casablanca," who knows.

Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2019 3:20 pm

I'm not able to post the messages right now, but there has been an interesting promising development:
The email lad had a friend contact me because he thought that I could get a Canadian visa for him. This friend was somewhat disappointed when I said I couldn't do that for him, but very excited to hear about my proposal; when I told him how much the package was worth, he said:

Quote:

waoooooooo 10000 how do we do des

He's currently in Takoradi, Ghana, although his passport (which he sent me so I can "put it in the system") says he's Ugandan. He picked Mali as his destination because he was "familiar with the city (Bamako)," although he said the last time he was there was 8 years ago, so I suspect he may still have issues when he arrives. He really wanted to get started ASAP, so he said that the earliest he could get there was Saturday evening because the bus takes two days to get there; I told him the package would arrive Saturday morning, so this works. Of course this isn't definite yet, but this lad seems very promising for under an hour of chatting.

Birlic, with any luck you'll have an email from a "Mohammed Atta" soon.

Posted: Sat Sep 28, 2019 2:05 am

Birlic is unavailable this weekend, and the lad said that he'd need a week or two to get the funds, so plans are shifted slightly. He's still quite excited, although he was a bit surprised that I didn't need a commission from his first package. It works for him, and it works for me; besides, it's not like it will matter anyway. Communication with other lads was a bit stunted today due to our schedules being off; Hangouts shows people as being online "just now" as long as they were online within the last 15 minutes, which is obviously an issue if you're trying to talk with a lad live. Some more emails will probably go out tomorrow morning.

Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 11:11 pm

It sounds like that lad was a bit too ambitious with his planning, and everything has been shifted to the end of this month. I've talked with quite a few other lads, and those baits are in various stages of the process, although nothing too definite. One lad I was talking to just half an hour ago had the brilliant idea to block me as soon as they got Akwoodi's email and the fake name to use for the email, so I wonder if they're going to try and dollar chop me; unfortunately, they know they'll have to go to Abidjan from Accra. I did get my first "f*** you" message, so that's something new. Still, things are looking pretty positive so far, and having more lads to cycle through on Hangouts and through email makes things a bit easier.

If anyone's interested in the ASEMs, let me know; I would recommend you tinker with the details slightly in case we hit the same lads, although the general premise should still work.

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:22 pm

Some assorted updates:
-The original Italy-based lad came back, saying his grandmother had died; he hasn't been online since, although he wanted to get right back to business. He'll be put on hold in that case.
-One Abidjan-based lad has gotten quite far in the planning process for going to Accra, and should end up there by Sunday night/Monday if all goes well.
-A Kuala Lumpur-based lad has a few international contacts, so I'm trying to see what's the "best" route that is still safari distance.
-A few other lads are in various stages of showing interest, but none of them are too awesome so far. I have high hopes for the new Abidjan-based lad, as he's registered a fake email and hopefully contacted Akwoodi.

Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 1:01 am

I'm following along! Good luck with this one!

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 12:38 am

Not too much to report. Lots more lads in various stages of progress, but nothing as definite as I would like. The Abidjan lad I mentioned earlier decided that he couldn't cough up the bus fee, so he kind of just disappeared. For every lad that goes away there's another who expresses interest, and things are still looking promising enough to continue; I'd say 1/10 of the emails I send get a favorable response, and about a third of those end up on Hangouts or in a longer conversation. Out of about 100 emails I've sent so far over the last few weeks, maybe a bit more than that, I've had 5-10 that I considered promising. I feel like if I actually called them on Hangouts, I'd get more results, but I'm too lazy for that. I imagine I would get slightly farther that way, although at the end, I just need to wait.

I still have a promising lad who gave me roughly until the end of October as a deadline, so I'll check in with him a week from now and make sure we're still on track.

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 4:04 am

Still going steady with the quest for fun lads. I had a chat with Eric Marsh (the lad who got Justcold, Lord, and I a mask a while back); he was quite interested, but annoyed that I wouldn't sponsor him. Another promising lad who fizzled out on that front was referred to another character to go into Hollywood as an actor. I took that to mean a film or stage actor, but he took that as the other type of film actor... Embarassed

. I think I cleared up that misconception.

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:38 am

The lad originally tapped for Mali says he's still on schedule to leave the 26th and arrive on the 28th for a pickup on the 29th; if he contacts the company as instructed, they'll be able to book a room at our favorite Sheraton for him. I've been a bit busy with other matters over the last few days, so I haven't been able to send out as many emails as I'd like, but after I make this post I'll send out another batch. Any lads who aren't interested in the safari modality, but still like the idea of the mysterious American giving them free money, will be encouraged to compete in the Santa contest.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

I'm looking forward to reading the ASEM !

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2019 2:33 am

The Mali lad should be on track to deliver the Santa picture this week, but he's always full of surprises, so who knows.

Things have been going well this weekend. After a disappointing Friday where three different lads were dropped, I got the Mali-bound lad back on track after a hilarious conversation where he flip-flopped on if he was interested in working with me, and by my count 4 lads are on track to have a successful delivery (with 2 having contacted Bertje), with a few more in various stages of progress. I finally got my Google Voice number up and running, and after loading $10 worth of credits on it (that's less than a movie ticket where I am, and this will last me for months) I called two lads at various points in the day. Both calls were brief, especially because I called one lad at 3 AM his time, but they really do a lot to help build legitimacy. I hope that by the end of this week I'll have a lad somewhere, especially as if things go according to schedule I should wake up to two lads on safari. That rarely happens according to plan, however.

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:34 pm

There's a very good chance that Bertje and I have a Cameroon-bound lad on safari. Most of the messages on my end are brief, and I imagine that lots of the excitement will happen tomorrow morning Cameroon time when I am still asleep. I haven't been able to get definitive proof of travel yet, although it's extremely unlikely that this lad was in Cameroon beforehand (messages will alternate between the lad and my character):

Quote:

It's a 10hour ride
I'm on it already, started by 6 this morning
Plus the local manager hasn't responded yet (played by Bertje)
Do you still need a valid ID?

Quote:

I would still appreciate a valid ID and a picture of your bus ticket
See if you can arrange delivery in a public place or by your hotel; the local manager may be able to book a room for you somewhere nice.

Quote:

He needs more info about the parcel

Quote:

Do you still have the package contents I sent you before?
And are you still on the bus or have you arrived in Yaounde yet?

Quote:

No I don't, please I'll need more info
I haven't arrived at Yaounda yet
Valid ID (he attached a Cameroonian ID here, which I initially found a bit suspicious)

Quote:

I believe the package is the $5000 and the office supplies, so printers, staplers, I think a copy machine, and a few reams of printer paper
That should be enough information.
Do you have the picture of your bus ticket?

Quote:

I don't anymore, misplaced it
Okay, he seems to have located the parcel

Also suspicious, but the times he's been mentioning match up for the journey, and given how we started talking less than 48 hours ago without any calls or verification, I wouldn't call this lad the type to always be prepared. My hypothesis is that he's banking on having friends in the country to make things easier for him; his luck may run out.

Quote:

Your ID is from Cameroon? I thought you were a Nigerian.

Quote:

I have a Cameroon ID

Quote:

Are you originally from there? That's fine, I'm just curious.
Or do you have multiple IDs for different countries?

Quote:

No I'm not, we'll not really mixed

Bertje and I were confused about that quote. I read it initially as "No I'm not, [we're] not really mixed," and he read it as "No, I'm not; well, not really. Mixed.". It doesn't matter from our perspective.

Quote:

I see. It doesn't matter as long as it's valid.
Do you know what town you are in right now or how many hours are left until you get to Yaounde?

Quote:

Okay then
I'm at Douala
I guess a couple of hours

That hypothesis will be proven wrong.

Quote:

OK
Is there a picture of some sort you can send me of a sign there for added security?
Also, have you booked a hotel room in Yaounde yet? The company will reimburse you if they know about it, so don't be afraid to choose somewhere luxurious.

Quote:

I’m in bamenda precisely that is the north west region of the country, but it's an hour drive away from Yaounda.

It is not an hour away from Yaounde, but more like 7 hours. Also, Douala-Bamenda is exactly safari distance, and Bamenda-Yaounde is over that. If we verify the lad's position in Yaounde at some point this will be three safaris for the price of one. I was somewhat confused about this itinerary, especially as going from Douala to Bamenda is perpendicular to the Douala-Yaounde route.

Quote:

Do you think you'll get to Yaounde tonight or stay the night in Bamenda?
If you stay there overnight get me a hotel receipt so I can keep track of expenses. I like having this information to plan travel for my guys (including you now).
You could also try sending that to the local manager to see if he can reimburse you.
And just to clarify, you were in Douala and then went to Bamenda? Isn't that somewhat inefficient? I am sure you know the area better than I am, but it does seem a bit strange. Or were you never in Douala and that was just the general area you were in?

Quote:

I can't get to Yaounda this night.
I heard to get there takes a lot of hours

So now the lad figured it out.

Quote:

Yeah, Google Maps tells me it takes 7 hours.

Quote:

I didn't get your message of staying in an hotel early so I'm staying at a friend's at Bamenda since I'm not so cashed

So he has friends, but he's a bit short on funds. That explains the Bamenda detour. Still, not my problem.

Quote:

So if you leave tomorrow morning you shouldn't have any issues.
OK
So you went from Douala to Bamenda?

Quote:

Yes that's what I said
I'll leave early to tomorrow morning

And my last message, which he didn't read:

Quote:

OK
And do you have some proof of your location? I'm always careful on people's first jobs to make sure that everything is precise and in order.

We won't have issues proving his location in Yaounde, but I'm also trying to give him some instructions that he won't follow, giving a convenient excuse for the operation failing. If after this safari he wants a second chance I'll eagerly give him one, but tomorrow I sense he'll be loitering around in Yaounde for a while. We may try to move him toward the Gabon border a bit; lads love being told to wait in random villages they've never been to before.

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2019 6:45 am

Yesterday, Bill Hamm, operational manager was contacted by our friend. After some information exchange:

Bill Hamm wrote:

Dear Mr. Derriere,

Just a short update about your parcel. I've just received confirmation that the driver will leave our Libreville facility in about half an hour. If all deliveries go to plan (and they nearly always do!), the van should reach Yaoundé at around 14.30 tomorrow, which means that a 15.00 delivery (or later) should be possible!

Please contact the driver, mr Woozy ([email protected]) to make arrangements for the delivery time and location.

Thank you for using P-log, the finest in 5 Star Customer Service. If you need my assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me

kind regards

Mr Derriere, to mr Woozy wrote:

Good day Sir, I'm supposed to get a Package from you tomorrow at Yaounda. I'm writing to get more information about the delivery, location etc.

Hoping to get a response from you soon

Woozy wrote:

HELLO

AM COMIN FO YAOUNDE TOMORROW 1500.
ABEG GIVE EXACT LOCATION!

Then, around 2 am (lad time)

Mr. Derriere wrote:

Mr Woozy, please I'll like to know if the parcel can be sent to Bamenda?

I'd say this confirms his location to be in Bamenda.

Just now:

Woozy wrote:

HELLO MR DERRIERE AM JUS DRIVER. U NEED ASK MR SLEEPY

(I fucked up here and mixed up my characters. He does not know who mr. Sleepy is at this point. So I forwarded his email to the mr. Sleepy account and had Woozy ask Sleepy to contact Derriere. In my reply as Sleepy, the Doozy email was included)

Mr. Sleepy wrote:

Good morning Mr. Derriere

My driver forwarded your email to me.

Your request seems strange to me, as mr. Hamm tells me you confirmed your delivery in Yaoundé only yesterday.

Regardless, a delivery in Bamenda is simply impossible. Besides the fact that only the Sender of the parcel can request such a change, it it also not possible from a logistic point of view. I won't bore you with the intricacies of logistical planning, but I can assure you it's not simply a matter of just driving to Bamenda and giving you the parcel.

I am assuming that we can go on with our planned delivery in Yaounde.

If you have any questions, please let me know.

Mr. Sleepy
Planner

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2019 3:35 pm

The lad has been silent all day.

Earlier, Woozy send an email that he had car trouble, and would expect to be in Younde at 1700.

Just now

Woozy wrote:

WER ARE U NEED LOCATION

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 12:44 am

The Cameroon lad hasn't been online for all of today. I'm not quite sure what's up with them. BBC reports that there are mudslides in Bafoussam, a town near Bamenda, so I wouldn't be surprised if the lad were having issues negotiating that. If they had twigged I'd imagine they would be online, just not responding to me. Oh well. More lads on the way somewhere, I hope.

A few more lads are at the point where they're contacting Bertje. One Ghanaian lad has exchanged at least one message with him and is supposed to go to Lome from Accra tomorrow, one is supposed to go to Cotonou from Lagos, and another lad may be going to Lome from Accra at some point, although he's a bit slow to respond and asks lots of questions; I don't mind, of course, as long as he gets somewhere at some point. He's one of the lads who got angry in the Lollipop thread.

One lad in Amsterdam (we talked briefly on the phone; he sounds West African) is quite exuberant and eager to get something done. Just for fun, I mentioned a package worth $20000 in Abeche, and he's very curious to get more information on it. Once I figure out if he already has someone there (boring) or if he's sending someone from Nigeria, I'll get him more information, and I also wouldn't mind him traveling somewhere in Europe.

Another lad is based in Malaysia and has partners/underlings around Africa. I suggested Morocco as a location just for fun and he was very interested; he doesn't have anyone there, but he has someone in Senegal, where it's visa free to go there, who is "trustworthy". Tomorrow morning, if Morocco is still on the menu, I'll direct him/his Senegal contact to Bertje.

Either I'm getting better at this or the lads are getting stupider.

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 7:06 am

The Yaounde lad was quiet all day, so he got a friendly reminder from Plog...we will see

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 11:27 pm

More lads interested, more lads uninterested and/or in various stages of waiting. The Yaounde-bound lad was online once a few days ago, didn't read my message, and hasn't been online since then. I'm not quite sure what's up with them. I talked to an Ugandan lad a few days ago for about a half hour, but he asked lots of questions and had too many strange ideas. He got mad that I didn't want to call his American friend without a good reason, and I haven't heard anything from him since. If I have time at some point I may do that just to see what happens, although I'm sick with a cold right now and not really in the mood to negotiate like that. After a few days, the Amsterdam lad did get back to me, still fixated on Abeche and still not reading my emails. I have faith he'll come around eventually.

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:20 am

The next lad has reached the penultimate stage of preparations; he should be in Accra by the time I wake up tomorrow morning. At this point I'm still just tinkering with the fake oga modality and its variations with different lads; I may have a bit more success with something more conventional, but my goal is still to have a procedure for ASEMing lads out of the blue and getting something amusing. Here's the conversation up to now, with some details censored and commentary when needed in red:

Quote:

Lad: Hello bro This is one of the romance lads I picked up from romancescam.com, so there was no email stage.
Me: Hey. You get my email? I'm stalling here to make sure that the lad's simmering with anticipation.
Lad: Yes bro Always a good start I got ur email
Me: Here is my proposal:

Just a standard ASEM, enough information to get them interested without boring them to death. I worry it's a bit long, but the lads certainly read it all.

Lad: I am interested bro. First where are u right now And how do u want us to go about this package Good start.

Me: I am based in Los Angeles, USA. It is late now so I cannot talk more, but tomorrow morning we will resume this business. Where are you based? I need to know to find the closest office locations. The time zone difference is convenient here, as this gives the lad another eight or nine hours to eagerly await my message. Also note the word choice of "we will resume this business," reinforcing that the lad has agreed to do this. A lot of the chats are focused on reinforcing the lad's commitment through verbal trickery.

Lad: I am in Togo Capital city lome. Ok bro I will be waiting for ur update Accra sounds like a good safari location. In the past I've waited to bring up the fact that they'll need to travel, but weeding out lads earlier who are simply unwilling to makes things easier. I'm burnt less by lads who change their minds.
*This morning*
Me: OK, so here is the thing:
Different company offices run different versions of the software, and since Lome runs an old version of the software I cannot hack it. But fortunately for you, Accra is a close location, and that one gets good packages that I can hack. For instances, there is a parcel of *insert roughly $15000 worth of goods* arriving there tomorrow night. Does that work for you? If yes, I'll give you more details on how the pickup works. I try to combine the bad news of the safari with the good news about the package contents to keep the lads interested.

Lad: Yes it will. Give me the information

Me: So here are the procedures. Follow instructions carefully or else you won't be able to do the pickup. The name on the package is *NAME*. Register an email with that name and contact the local manager *Bertje* at *his email*

Lad: Ok bro

Me: He will be able to give you the exact pickup location. Try not to be suspicious. A.k.a. Try not to ask for a lot of proof so we can do less work.

I will also need some other things from you:

I will need a picture of your real ID to switch in the computer system so the electronic lock on the package opens without alarms.

I'll also need a picture of your bus ticket for the Lome-Accra trip. The lad has some difficulties with this, which I worried could mean that he was trying to have someone already in Accra do the pickup, but his IP traced to Lome, so we're fine on that front. I've found that lads generally tell me "Oh, I have guys there, I'll tell them to do the pickup" instead of trying to deceive me, so this has never really been a concern. Still, proof is always nice.

Other than that, it should be simple. Show up, tell a few jokes, take the package, and leave.

Lad: Yes I understand bro I will send u the info once I buy for my ticket from lome to Accra. Once I buy my ticket. The lad didn't do this today/tonight, but I'm guessing he'll send it tomorrow morning while I'm still asleep. Due to time zone differences he should be in Accra by the time I wake up.

Me: Perfect. Also let me know when you email the local manager.

Lad: I will send u my ID He sends me a Ghanaian ID a few hours later; he does say at some point he moved to Lome from somewhere else, and he talks like other Ghanaian lads I've talked to before, so I believe this.

Me: This should be a simple operation and since you sound like a smart guy, I am sure there will be no issues. Inflating his ego and setting him up to be the person who inevitably messes up an "easy" pickup

Lad: Yes for sure. Bro are from Nigeria?

Me: I'm an American. Born here in the US.

Lad: If this package works out how can you get your own part of the package once I pick up A good question, and an indication you're expecting this to be successful.

Me: I don't take a commission from the first package. I am generous that way. But from the rest it will be simple. I don't take much, only 10%. It's easy to negotiate with nonexistent money.

Lad: Is there possible to get the package here in lome Silly lad didn't read carefully what I said earlier. Still, they aren't peeved about this.

Me: Like I said, no. I can't do that in the software without major risk. Accra is close though and the package is good. Don't worry about it.

Lad: I have contact here in lome because I have been living over here for years now. Ok bro I understand. Give me little time to tied up myself about getting bus to Accra Somewhat of a poor choice of words there, laddie, but you do you.

Me: You'll be able to get to Accra by tomorrow night?

Lad: Yes bro

Me: Perfect

Lad: I will keep you updated.

*About 90 minutes later*

Lad: Bro are u there

Me: Yes. What is it?

Lad: Is about the ticket

Me: Did you buy it?

Lad: I will going to Accra tonight with a local bus because I don't have the much money to pay for the big buy The lad doesn't explain how this relates to getting me the picture of his ticket, so we go back and forth a bit on this. I don't press on the travel confirmation because it sounds like what he's doing is liable to backfire. You do you lad.

Me: That works. It's fine. Why I wouldn't be fine with that I'm not quite clear on. I like lads being independent about these things because it means they aren't complaining.

Lad: Ok bro

Me: You just need to arrange for transport there and you can buy something better with the money

Lad: I am already arranging for my transport Not quite what I asked, but sure.

Me: OK, good. Did you buy the ticket yet? I'm saying that you shouldn't worry about booking from Accra back to Lome because you can use the cash in the package to hire a van or something. He probably won't have issues arranging for transportation back, but lads have a talent of messing up trips that are even really close to where they are. Accra-Lome is about five hours by bus, and the lad's a Ghanaian national, but things like that haven't stopped safaris from being miserable in the past. Few lads ever have a pleasant time.

Lad: Do I need to contact the local manager Bertje today?

Me: Yes. I'd do that right now if you haven't already. Make sure to register the email with the name like I told you.

Lad: Ok bro I will contact him right now and also send you a copy of my ID This takes a few hours. This lad seems to have issues with timing and coordination, something that may cause difficulties for him if he does get to the safari stage.

Me: OK. And when you do buy the bus ticket, send me the picture like I requested. See, I knew that this would be easy. I think that if this keeps going as well as it does now we will be able to do lots of very good pickups in the future.

Lad: That's is why I am telling you that I will go with the local buy I don't see how this answers my question, and the lad's attempts to clarify don't really help.

Me: And there is no ticket for that? I know what he's trying to say, but I still want a better answer.

Lad: Yes that's is the local bus here from lome border Lucky's safari helped me discover that Lome is extremely close to the border, as in you could get a hotel that's a minute's drive from the border posts. Those border guards apparently aren't very friendly.

Me: It doesn't matter how you get there, that's your choice, but I need some sort of receipt or ticket picture to keep track of the logistics on my end.

Lad: Ghana and Togo sheared the same border. I don't see how this helps.

Me: I know. I know how the geography works. This isn't the first time I've done this.

Lad: Ok I will send you one OK then...

Me: But I'm not exactly familiar with the situation on the ground for transport and things like that, so I rely on my guys for the most up-to-date information If someone wants to figure out, maybe by going through previous safaris, what approximate travel times are between major safari destinations, that would be awesome. I'm not sure if Google Maps is trustworthy.

Lad: All u need from me is to get to Accra right Yes, all I need for you is for you to safari.

Me: Yes. Since that's where the package is. The picture of the ticket/receipt isn't as important as the picture of your ID and you emailing the local manager as I instructed.

Lad: Don't worry on how I get there but I am giving my word that I will be in Accra before tomorrow night. That wasn't so bad, was it? Naturally we're about halfway through our conversations so far.

Me: Since without the ID you'll have issues leaving with the package and without emailing the manager he won't know you're there. I'm not worried, but for people's first job I am always more careful than I need to be. A convenient excuse.

Lad: Yes I understand that

Me: I think it is just good practice, especially as sometimes people are not as experienced with traveling.

Lad: I will contact him right now and send u my ID

Me: Yes, exactly

Lad: Ok bro

Me: Actually, before you contact the manager, fill this out: *Tracking link Bertje made on the website to get lads to reveal their IPs*. Put in the email you registered with *NAME* and the tracking number is *I closed my eyes and picked 10 digits; this number doesn't connect to anything on the website.*

Lad: Ok on it right now He takes about 10 minutes to fill in his fake name, email, tracking number, and date of arrival. He doesn't strike me as the sort I'd want to hire for actual globe-trotting hijinks.

Me: That way he'll see you are in the system already with the new email. Did you fill it out?

Lad: On it now

Me: OK

Lad: Sent. I have fill it.

I got a notification with his IP, and it reads Lome. Perfect. Still not technically a guarantee, but if at some point tomorrow his IP reads Accra and the information's the same, that's a safari.

Me: And have you emailed the local manager yet?

Lad: About to now. What do u want me to write to him. Draft a message for me to send to him now. Lazy lad. I oblige, as he'll have to write more emails to him later anyway, so this isn't a big deal.

Me: You don't need to send him anything long. Just "Hello, this is NAME emailing to confirm my pickup for tomorrow evening with tracking number ##########." Aboid talking on the phone or anything like that in case he's already talked with the real NAME, just try to figure out where you need to go in Accra. So once that's taken care of and I get the picture of your ID, I think the job should all be in your hands. Please keep me informed, and I pray this first job is a success.

Lad: *sends a screenshot of their email to Bertje. They added a very laddish "Waiting for your urgent response" at the end. For some reason it takes him a while to get this email, but it doesn't matter.*

Amen the first job will work out. Give me few minutes I will send u my ID once I get home. This few minutes ends up being a few hours.

Me: Ok

*about 45 minutes later*

It's been a bit more than a few minutes. Do you have the picture ready?

Lad: Not at home yet still in a friend's house.

Me: Oh, I see.

Lad: Don't worry bro I will send u my ID

Me: That's fine then. There's no hurry.

Lad: I give you my word

Me: My bad. It was just a miscommunication. Don't worry about it.

Lad: I should worry about what Seriously?

Me: Don't worry about the confusion. I read "Give me few minutes" as meaning just like 5-10 minutes, not longer. I think that's fair.

Lad: Sorry for keeping you waiting just need to finish up with what I am doing then I will be on my way home.

Me: It's fine. There's no rush. When you're in my business you get used to always trying to communicate everything as precisely as possible. As long as you have your side of things in order, I can get my side of things in order, and then this will be easy. More subliminal reinforcement that everything is on track and the lad will safari. He takes the bait.

Lad: I will also get my own side if things in order too.

Me: I am a veteran at this, and hopefully after a few months you will be too. I have a guy arriving in Lima, Peru in a few minutes. We can talk more later. Send me the information when you can.

Lad: OK bro
*About two hours later*
Lad: Bro are u there? I'm expecting a lot of these tomorrow when it's "Bro are u there? I've been here for 3 hours and the van isn't here."

Me: Sorry, I was out on business. I was eating lunch. I am here now.

Lad: *Sends Ghanaian ID. I knew they were from somewhere else, so this doesn't surprise me.* This is the ID. What next?

Me: I thought you said you were a Nigerian. My bad, I think I have you confused with one of my other guys. I do remember you saying you weren't originally from Togo. I got confused for a second here, but
I don't think he noticed or cared.

Lad: Yes bro

Me: So the ID is ready to switch in the system. I'll just need the picture of the bus ticket and then it's all up to you.

Lad: Ok bro so tell me how to get the package by tomorrow evening Haven't we spent about two hours discussing this already?

Me: You show up there wherever the local manager tells you to pick it up, take the package, and leave. Make sure you have the contents of the package memorized as well as the tracking number in case he tests you. You have five hours on the bus. That should keep you busy.

Lad: U mean as soon as I receive a message from the local manager. OK bro.

Me: He will probably verify the pickup location in Accra, either at their office or some public place. Make sure that you are there by the agreed upon time, and send a picture of yourself there to him when you arrive so he knows what you look like.

Lad: U mean I will take a picture of myself and send to the local manager.

Me: When you arrive in Accra at the location just to make sure there are no issues. It is your choice, you don't have to. Just whatever the manager wants. You don't want to cause any trouble and make him suspicious. More reinforcement here that the only choice is to follow instructions and not complain. I just know he'll mess something up and he will botch the pickup.

Lad: Yes I understand that

Me: So I think everything should be cleared up now. Keep in mind that because of time zone differences I won't be online until maybe 2 or 3 PM your time, so if any issues come up before then you will have to solve them yourself. How long does the bus take to get to Accra from Lome?

Lad: About 5 hours. What kind of issues may come up How kind of you to let me segue back to the reinforcement of "everything will be fine, this is simple" and "if anything goes wrong it's your fault"

Me: There should be nothing if you follow instructions and don't do anything risky, but yo never know when there will be surprises.

Lad: Yes i understand that

Me: I've had people's flights be canceled, one guy ran over an animal on the road, you can never predict when you will need to adapt on the fly. These shipping companies need to hire better drivers.

Lad: Ok bro

Me: So if my math is right you will get on the bus before I wake up.

Lad: Yes I will be in Accra before u wake up The more the lad says "Yes, I will be here," the more it's reinforced in his mind and the more likely it is he actually does it. I got lucky here in that the lad's a Ghanaian national and thus not opposed to going to Accra.

Me: Perfect. Even if I'm not online, still send me the picture of your bus ticket, or if you can't get that a picture of yourself by a sign in Lome and a sign in Accra with the cities' names on them. Just so I have a rough idea of things. Usual procedure, don't worry. Of course, and the lad probably won't do this exactly as asked, causing issues later.

Lad: Ok bro

Me: Any other questions or are we good?

Lad: We are good. All i need to do right now is to wait for response from the local manager. Good lad.

Me: It is quite late where you are, so I would not expect a response until tomorrow morning your time. Get some sleep so you are reading to do a good job. People make stupid mistakes when they're tired. Spoiler alert, but that will be one of my complaints if the lad messes something up.

Lad: Ok bro

Sorry for the wall of text, but I think this is looking promising. Obviously I could wake up tomorrow to an empty inbox, but with any luck things will be more exciting.

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 4:21 am

LOL. A P-Log Inside Man Protocol = PIMP modality = excellent!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Looks promising.

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