Return to sender => Baptism and a tiny pyramid

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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 12:18 pm

9:07 Reverend Greenham to Cats, Adam and Dave

Quote:

Father Adam,

I have to admit that we also didn't hear anything from brother Obiora anymore. It's a big disappointment. A young man that allows so much faith to abandon his promises and with that his bride.
I agree with you that we should see some results from him within a week and if not we will close this chapter and we will pay for sister Anna to find a man that is worthy of her trust.

Blessings
Reverend Greenham

That was supposed to be pray, but my phone thought it was a funny idea to change it to pay, and I can't agree any less.

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 1:56 pm

1:05 AM
Cats: Are u asleep yet
In the morning
Anna: What do you think, when you suddenly leave in the middle of a conversation
Cats: My data finished yesterday
Anna: It seems to finish twice every week
Cats: Yes
Anna: Only form the little chatting we do?
Cats: Yes, u consumed my whole data
Anna: No
Your chatting others
Or watching videos or something
Chatting doesn't consume much data
Cats: It consumes but am on free mode facebook but it remaining 50%
Anna: I don't understand that system at all
Are you starting the initiating today as you promised
Cats: 20 free mb a day
Free facebook
Anna: Cool
We don't have that
Cats: Just this morning
Anna: Not with me
Cats: With you
Anna: <thumbsup>
Cats: I hate thumb up
Anna: <thumbsup>
Cats: <picture>
Breakfast
Anna: What is it?
Cats: What did u ate dix morning ?
That picture i sent is what i ate this morning
Anna: I understand that, but what is it?
Later
Anna: I guess you're busy with the initiation now

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:40 pm

Wednesday July 3
Cats: Am done with it
Anna: Did you send it to the Cardinal?
Cats: Not yet
But i will try tomorrow
Anna: Ok. Please Sint wait too long. I really want them to see they misjudged you
Cats: Cats: Who is sint?
Anna: Don't. Not sint
My phone changes words sometimes
Cats: Resend and arrange your sentence again
Anna: Please don't wait too long
I really want them to see they misjudged you
Cats: I want to work on my bank account details because he said want both my account details and the photos
Anna: Ok that's good right?
Cats: Yes
So what have they been saying about me
Anna: Nothing I didn't tell you yet
Cats: Why
Tell.me
don't hide secret for ur husband
Anna: I'm not hiding anything
They didn't say anything because I didn't talk to them since Sunday
Cats: Don't you guys do weekly service
Anna: I work full-time. I don't have time to attend services during the week, but I visit evening Bible studies when I can
Cats: Ohh that's cool 😮

Thursday July 4
Anna: Good morning
Cats: Oh sugar same to u
How was your night
My night was fine
Cats: And next u want to greet me good morning You say "Good morning sweetheart" , Try be romantic
ok dear
Much later
Cats: That why i love u so much
Anna: Where have you been all day
Oh wait
Where have you been all day honey
Cats: I went to the bank to ask for information
Anna: Did you email the Cardinal?
Cats: Not yet hottie
Anna: Why not? I don't like delays
Cats: I know honey
Anna: Then why did you not send it?
Cats: I have reasons
Anna: You're hiding things from me
I don't like it when you're being secretive
Cats: My love am not hiding anything from you, i will send it to him today
Anna: But you don't tell me why you didn't send it yet
Cats: What are your reasons
Patience
<lad's lastname> Anna
Anna: You are keeping things from me 😢
Cats: I will send it today
Anna: Yes but you're still not telling me your reason why you didn't send it yet
Cats: I don't have any reasons to be sincere
Anna: Then you lied
Cats: You have started again
I didn't lie to u
Why will i lie to u
Anna: I have reasons
So you did not write this?
And what have I started? Calling you out on lies? I will always do that because I hate lies
And bullshit. I hate that too
Cats: Baby
Anna: Don't baby me
Just tell me the fucking truth
Cats: To be honest
I was only just teasing you
Anna: No
You were lying
I'm not happy with you
Cats: Me lie
I promised that i will never lie to.you again
I'm not happy
You don't trust ne
Me**
Anna: And you lied, so it was your own fault that I don't trust you this time
Cats: I dont lie
Anna: you said you had your reasons for not having sent it and you didn't want to tell it. After that you say you don't have reasons
That's not a joke, that's lying
Did you send it now?
Cats: I will let you know when i send it
Anna: <thumbsup>
Cats: Are you angry at me my hottie hottie 🔥
Anna: <rolling eyes emoji>
Cats: nobody in this world can love you the way i do
Anna: nobody in this world can lie the way you do
Cats: Nneoma i don't lie
Anna: what did you just call me?
Cats: Maybe u take my words as.lie
Nneoma is my local language which means Good woman
Anna: <thumbsup>
If you say something that is not true, that means it's a lie
Cats: Check it on google
Am not happy when anything i say to u, u will say am lieing it hurting me badly i don't like it
Anna: then don't lie and I will believe you. It's actually pretty simple
Cats: Really
Anna: yes
Cats: But i was honest with i
U
I just like teasing
Anna: no you were lying
The day is almost over. Why won't you send it?

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:21 am

Friday - WE HAVE THE PHOTOS! Laughing

Yesterday, our idiot sent his "biblical scene" photos (Moses and his tribe, on the shore of the Red Sea) to my Cardinal Adam:

Quote:

Dear cardinal william Glory be to God almighty in heaven i have completed the first and second stage initiation today, i will send you the photos by tomorrow
Be blessed cardinal william

and

Quote:

This is the photos of the 1st initiations, one my apostles didn't make it to take pictures with us at the pool because he was seriously ill (Malaria and thyphoid), i will send you the photos of the 2nd initiation after you finish viewing the 1st initiation photos to avoid confusion

===

07.00 - Cardinal Adam writes to all (our boy, sister Dave and Rev. Paul):

Quote:

Brother Chibu***, may the Holy Lamb be with you!

With humility in glances and with great joy in my soul I received the last materials that you sent me.
Brother Chibu***, I will plead with all my power of conviction in front of the Elderly Council to approve these clear evidence of your Faith and to allow me to move on to the next (and the last) Stage of your Admission process. I'm sure they will not hesitate, especially as the Rev. Paul G. is your best advocate and supporter. He really wants to succeed in that great personal dream: "Eater, A new Cathedral in Africa, A new Hope!"

In parallel with your final Stage of your Admission process, I also want to solve also the problem of your Courtesy Parcel (and the Sponsorship) that's already approved by the Board. We want to send you a large parcel of electronic products (maximum $10,000) and a sponsorship of $25,000. Son, I need you to make a complete list of the products that you need for your parish. Choose everything from here: https://www.amazon.com and give me the exact links of products. You can choose mobile phones, laptops, video-cameras, printers, school supplies, refrigerators, washing machines, etc... all your parish needs for a good functioning.
The total amount (your budget) will not exceed $10,000.
We will use a fast shipping company and the church will pay for all transportation and insurance costs.
You will just have to take over the parcel. Nothing else, no extra cost to your parish.

So, please send me all the necessary delivery data:

a) Name and Surname (for the person who will take over the Courtesy Package) - The Receiver!
- He may be the secretary of your parish, or any other trusted man. No matter!
- Note that on delivery, he will need to identify himself with a valid ID document (driver license, passport, etc.).

b) The exact address for delivery.
- Can be your home address, or the parish address.

c) The phone number (for contact)
- If the delivery address can not be correctly identified, then the courier will contact the Receiver and propose a meeting place.

I will ask the Elderly Council (after my Sunday's sermon) to approve the payment of a $25,000 sponsorship for your parish.
Does your parish have a bank account open at any bank? Please give me the details to make the payment.

Reverend-Father Paul G. is leaving today for a visit to our orphanage, but I will discuss with him in the afternoon and Sunday afternoon we will also have the board's answer. I'm sure everything is okay. Tomorrow I will also clarify with you the details of your last Stage af Admission (The Monument of the Faith and the Baptismal Ceremony).

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

===

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:31 am

What a fine looking bunch of idiots. Laughing

Yesterday evening, late, or moron to sister Dave

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave please i want you to do me a favor, pls help me inform Cardinal william to come online on his Mail because i have completed the 1st and 2nd initiations and also i want to forward the photos to him accordinly to avoid confusion

7:39 Sister Dave to Cats

Quote:

Dear brother Cats,

I have just received the message from Cardinal Adam, and I believe that you have managed to send the pictures to him. I'm glad that you are the man sister Anna told us you are and I hope you will finish this initiation process with positive result soon, so we can celebrate the new parish and your wedding.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:25 pm

Thursday, late
Cats: My beautiful Anna is in Hurry 😊

Friday July 5
Anna: Don't you want to be together
Cats: I want us to be together forever
I have already sent the initiation pics to cardinal will adam
Anna: That's great. I wish you would've told me that
Cats: Really
Now i have told you what's my reward
Anna: A kiss
Cats: I have kiss alot
I want a new thing
Anna: Then you should make sure we're together soon
Cats: <frowning emoji>
Anna: what's wrong honey?
Cats: Why must it be when will are together
Anna: Because I don't know how to even give you a kiss through a screen
Cats: Lolzzz
Make a photo 😁
She will complain now
Anna: In your dreams
Cats: Lolz.no
Real.life
Anna: You don't hear me complain
Cats: Lolz
Your voice is making me melt
Make me another voice clip
Anna: <emoji with sticking out tongue>
Cats: Why d face
Anna: <zipped lips emoji>
Cats: Hmm 😒
Anna: you made a promise remember?
Cats: I forgot..lol
I don't remember lolz
Anna: You don't want to remember, but you promised me less than a week ago
Cats: I know
Cant u make me even though i said that am your husband
Anna: What do you mean?
You want to break a promise again?
Cats: No
I want it as a reward
Your voice makes me high
Anna: And you know it makes me feel terrible to do that
Cats: How do you feel when u do that?
Anna: 🙄 you have memory loss issues
Cats: Yes..lol
Do u fall sick when u do that , or do u bleed , or will vomit or do faint?
Anna: I will feel like I can't breathe anymore
Cats: Why are you different from other human beings
Anna: Because not everybody has PTSD I guess
Cats: I felt jealous when i see couples video calling themselves making each other voice notes but you 😟
Anna: You knew that right from the start. Don't punish me for it
If you want to be angry with someone, go kick my ex husband's ass
Cats: <laughing emoji's>

Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 7:52 am

Saturday

07.45 - Our idiot wrote to my cardinal Adam... Of course money is a very pleasant surprise for him. Laughing

Quote:

God bless you cardinal William for everything. You have made a good point, i will order little electronic products from Amazon like phones, laptops and little things but printers and large electronic i won't order them now because i don't have enough place to store them but you can send me the money here so after the completion of my parish i will buy them here and store them in parish. I will send you the link, documents and my account details later..please reply me ASAP

May the holy lamb be with you cardinal william.

- One hour later, Cardinal Adam responds to all:

Quote:

Dear my son, dear Chibu***,

As I said, our budget allocated to the Courtesy Parcel is $10,000. Within the limit of this amount, you can order exactly the products necessary for your parish operation. We do not have a preset list, because the needs of each parish are different. That is why each Reverend has the responsibility to draw up this list, depending on the local specificity.

All of this, together with my proposal for financial sponsorship, will be presented tomorrow to the Elderly Council just after Sunday's sermon ends. Because the materials you send are extremely encouraging, I'm sure everything will be approved and we can go together at the last official Stage. After you finish this final stage, you will be designated as local Reverend and your parish will be registered in our internal records.

Probably on Monday morning I will have enough time to tell you everything and to detail together this last stage of your graduation. Today we have a busy day here because it is the day of the visit to the orphanage that the church patronizes.
Be blessed my son,
Cardinal Adam

Starting Monday, we'll try to get the idiot to build a pyramid, and the final ceremony will be splashing with "milk and honey". Laughing

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:16 am

Monday

Yesterday, our boy sent me 2 messages:

Quote:

Dear cardinal i have 2 questions to ask, pls am sorry to ask this. How many days or month will it take for the parcel to be delivered to me? And another is where will i store or keep the parcel when is delivered to me? Because i don't know where to store them they are many

and

Quote:

Good evening cardinal william happy sunday. How was today's service?

Today - 06.42 - My Cardinal writes to the idiot:

Quote:

Dear my son,

Generally speaking, the parcels we send to our local branch in Mozambique arrive there in about 10-12 days. More or less, depending on local transport. I do not understand your second question. You ask me where can you keep the electronic products we will send for your parish? Or did I misunderstand your question? Please explain.

I am happy to let you know that your materials have been approved and that the Elderly Council has decided that you can start the last part of your internship. In my next message, I will explain everything to you.
Still waiting for you to send the required details prior to delivery.

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

===

08.15 - Reverend Paul to our boy:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

I want to congratulate you for the approval of your materials. I was impressed with your pictures and I can see that you are a man filled with the Spirit of the Lord. I am happy to see that our thoughts have been proven wrong and that you are a man of your word. I am sure sister Anna would find a good husband in you and I hope you will soon finish the next step so we can celebrate together.

Blessings
Reverend Paul

===

08.45 - Cardinal Adam wrote:

Quote:

Dear brother Chibu***, may the Holy Lamb bless you!
Your desire has been fulfilled, just like my predictions. I'm so happy and so proud of you in the same time! Congratulations!
As I already told you in my previous message, the Board of our Elderly Council has approved the materials that you have already submitted and has accepted that you make the last Stage of the Admission Process and successfully complete your appointment as Eater Reverend of our new Parish.
Be blessed, my young brother! Glory to the Holy Lamb!

This last Stage is called The Sacred Monument of Faith and, basically, it is the foundation around which you "will spiritually build" your new Eater Parish.
Your "appointment" as Local Reverend will materialize through one final Baptism Ceremony, where your believers will need to be with you.

____________________________________________________________

1) And the LORD said to Moses: "Go back to Egypt, for all the men who were seeking your life are dead!" (Exodus 4.19)

- Basically, this last stage is based on cohesion among members of your congregation and shows your power to bring believers near you.
- You have to build a pyramid with the dimensions of the base 10 feet (3 meters) and with the same height.
- It will be possible to accept a lower height (only 2 meters), but the base must be 3x3 meters.
- The materials used may be sandbags (recommended), cement bags, or any bags filled with any other available material (we have cases in which bags had filled with earth).
- Next to the pyramid, a bench should be built upon by the believers to sit and pray. For the bench, you can use bricks, cement, wood, or any kind of available material.
- I'm sending you some sketches to help you understand, and also I send you the pictures made by our reverend Susuma in the Eater Parish of Mozambique. You will be able to see how everything should look like at the end.

This pyramid is the Sacred Monument of our Faith (that sacred moment in which our Faith in God has defeated the power of Pharaoh Ramses)!
Therefore, at the top of the pyramid must be a great sign on which to write the name of our Eater Church! Hallelujah, amen!
______________________________________________________________

2) "And I have promised you that I will bring you up from the misery of Egypt to the land of the Canaanites, Hethites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites--a land flowing with milk and honey." (Exodus 3.17)

- This is the Baptism Ceremony and represents The Sacred Way through which you are appointed as Local Reverend and your Parish is officially recognized as one of the Eater sisters-parishes.
- As in the Exodus (chapter 3.17), when Moses promises to his tribe that he will offer them milk and honey, you will have to stay in front of the Pyramid of the Faith and say "Our Father" prayer.
- Your position must be kneeling as if in prayer and in your arms you must hold a lamb (a baby goat will be accepted), what symbolising the power of your Faith! To show everybody that you really believes and respects the spirit of the Holy Lamb!
- One of the faithful who attends the ceremony must pour some milk on your head... then, he will pour honey on your head.
- You have to raise your hands up and, with eyes looking at Heaven, you must say "the sacred words of baptism" for three times. They have to be uttered very clearly!

"I baptize myself in the spirit of the Holy Lamb!
I will offer milk and honey to those who will follow ME!
Glory to the Holy Lamb!"

- The Baptism Ceremony must be video-recorded and it is also useful to take some suggestive photos during the event.
_________________________________________________________________

- We want to see the progress made by you and your team of believers.
- I need you to regularly "document" all the construction's phases of the Monument of the Faith.
- I want to see photos of the place that you will choose as the "base".
- I want to see photos taken while building... the first rows of bags.
- Those believers who help you will be called Parish Assistants and will receive financial help from us. They will also complete the admittance's papers.

I am at your disposal with any extra clarifications if needs.
Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

===

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:29 am

Saturday July 6
Cats: Baby good morning
Anna: Good morning honey
How are you
Cats: Same
Am fine thank you love
Anna: Did you hear from the Cardinal?
Cats: I will talk to you later honey am busy for now
Anna: What are you doing?
Cats: Am busy with d cardinal
Anna: Doing what dear?
Cats: He said let me order last electronic product but i don't know where to store them, i haven't build d parish yet
Anna: Don't you have some space in your house or maybe at your family's home
It's only temporary
Cats: No space
Everywhere is filled up
Anna: At a friend's place?
Cats: No
Anna: Or order smaller, more compact things that don't take up too much space
Cats: I dont trust anyone
Anna: I see
What did you want to order?
Cats: He want.me order larger product
Anna: I don't know what is is that you would need
But maybe you can clear up some space. It's only for a short time
Cats: The house won't contain the whole products
Anna: I don't even know what it is, but I'm sure you'll find a solution
Cats: Hmm 😒
Who?
Anna: You
You're the leader over there right?
Cats: 😜 Yes hottie hottie
Anna: 😘 good. Then show them that you are
Cats: I will love
Anna: That's my man 😁
Cats: That's my woman
how's work honey
Anna: No idea
Cats: What
Why no idea
Anna: Because I'm not at work
Cats: didn't u go to work today
Anna: No
Cats: Why
Anna: I don't work Saturdays
Cats: I just remembered it
Anna: Goodnight dear
Cats: Wait na
Dont go yet
Anna: Tired
Cats: Am gonna miss Anna Verbeek
Anna: Almost falling asleep
Cats: Tired of what
U didnt go to work today na
Anna: Tired as in my eyes want to choose
Close
Goodnight
Cats: don't close it yet
An gonna bite your nipples if you do so

Sunday July 7in the evening
Anna: You're not a dog are you?
Cats: I'm a wild rot whiler
Anna: Don't know what to think of that
Cats: I have missed ur chats alot honey
Anna: You wanted to bite my nipples. That's fucking scary
And insane
Cats: Haha, u take little joke serious
I was just teasing u
Anna: Don't you dare do it for real, cause I'll do the lawnmower if you will
Cats: What are u going to use the lawnmower to do?
Anna: You don't want to know, so don't ever bite me
Cats: I missed u alot Anna
Anna: Missed you too
but my nipples didn't
Cats: Tell the nipple i missed her
Anna: She's scared and won't show herself anytime soon
Cats: Really, tell her i love her more than the owner 😅
Anna: hmm 🤔
If you only want to talk to my boobs then I guess I don't need to talk anymore
Cats: No
I want to talk to u
Anna: talk to the boobs cause the face ain't listening anymore 😂
Cats: Pls baby
I will cry
Anna: show me

Cats: voicemessage of cats crying>

Y are u ignoring me
Anna: im not, you were offline suddenly
Cats: Am online
Anna: now you are
Cats: Don't go offline again i always fall sick when u do that
Anna: You do it all the time. I dont like it either
did you send the list to the cardinal yet?
Cats: Not yet
I do things gradually
Anna: how?
Cats: I will forward it for him tomorrow
i want to do my National ID first
He said i can only claim the parcel with a National ID, driver license and other document
Anna: I see, but you can send the list already, you dont have to waste time
now you're the one going offline
Cats: I'm sorry
What if the goods comes now, how will i claim it
Anna: Maybe they can't send it yet without the id, but they can order it already and the process will be faster and we'll be together sooner
I don't know exactly, I just don't want to wait longer than neccesary.
Cats: Me too dear
I went checking my messages on WhatsApp
Anna: Are you chatting with others?
Cats: Yes and also viewing status, WhatsApp is so much fun
U re really missing
Anna: No I'm not. you are here, so I'm not missing anything
Cats: Wow, i wanna quit Facebook for a long time but u made me stay
Anna: Please don't go. I"ll miss you
Cats: I will never do that
U are always my memories forever
Anna: you can quit facebook when we're together. We won't need it anymore then
Cats: Really
Why
Anna: if we're together we don't have to chat. We can talk then
you're suddenly offline again. Why
Cats: Why must u go offline if i do
Anna: Because I'm not going to sit around forever when you're offline. You don't tell me why our for how long. Sometimes it is for hours
Cats: Don't go to sleep yet
Anna: I'm tired. Tomorrow is Monday
Cats: Time hasn't gone na
Anna: Tell that to my boss tomorrow if I fall asleep on my desk tomorrow
Cats: Yes
Gimme his username
Anna: Lol
Cats: Send me rev.paul pics i wanna see his face
Anna: Did you send that list to the Cardinal now?
Cats: I will recharge tomorrow my data is low
Do u have rev.paul photos?
Anna: So you can't send an email?
Cats: I don't want to disturb him now
Anna: Emails won't wake him up. As far as I know the computer is in an office and i don't think he'll be sleeping there
Cats: I don't want him to give me another assignment let me finish dealing with cardinal assignment first
Anna: That list of products is the assignment honey
Cats: I know honey but rev.paul likes giving me new new assignment
Anna: Really? Like what? Did he give you another assignment
Honey I can't keep my eyes open. I need to sleep
Cats: No..but i know he will give me new assignment if i manage inbox him
Anna: I don't know
Goodnight
Cats: Nooooooo 😭
Wait na
If u leave me yawa go dey

Monday July 8
Anna: What does that mean?

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:20 am

10.27 - The idiot wrote to my Cardinal:

Quote:

Dear cardinal william thanks for the mail u sent me . I will send you the link of the parcel but i will order small items for now and also i will forward the church account details but it a temporary account
God bless you cardinal william

My answer:

Quote:

Son,

Your main concern must be related to the completion of the initiation procedure. The Sacred Monument of Your Faith and the Baptism Ceremony must be done as quickly as possible. You need to mobilize all your believers and end everything. Father Paul told me yesterday that our young sister Anna is anxious to get married, but it will only be married to a member of the congregation. At the same time, both the Courtesy Package and the sponsorship are intended for members of our Church, so it is imperative that you and your people complete their initiation procedures.
You understand me?

Be blessed Chibu***, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Cardinal Adam

He seems to be able to focus on nothing but money and cell phones. Laughing

The idiot writes to my cardinal.

Quote:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P83CBGR/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=iphone+XR+128GB+white&qid=1562578253&rnid=2470954011&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XWK25B8/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=Ac+panasonic&qid=1562578682&sr=8-4

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JZYWCV1/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=macbook&qid=1562580061&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KYCSPMK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=refrigerator&qid=1562578880&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HKXVQYC/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=washing+machine&qid=1562579060&sr=8-5

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4R20RS/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=iphone+7&qid=1562579227&sr=8-2

And also Hot6x smart phones 6 items with different colours

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LOP8EZC/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=ps5&qid=1562580278&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q3GKF26/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=video+camera&qid=1562580432&sr=8-3

The trusted person that will receive the parcel names are:
Surname: ONYEKW***
First name: KIZ***
Middle name: CHINO***
City:Lagos state
Country:Nigeria
Address: Oladunkun ishola street, igboelerin road, ojo lagos state.

This is the church bank account details deposit the money via western union.
Surname: ONYEKW***
First name: KIZ***
Middle name: CHINO***
State: Lagos state
Country: Nigeria

and

Quote:

In addition this is the receiver of d parcel phone number
+2349039152***

My Cardinal:

Quote:

Son, I received your message and it's okay.
We are not very skilled at the modern technique, so the list has to be written very clearly (not to be wrong when ordering the products).
To make also the number of products in each category to be very clear.

Example:
1 x iphone XR 128GB white - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P83CBGR/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=iphone+XR+128GB+white&qid=1562578253&rnid=2470954011&sr=8-1

Please re-make the whole list and send me back.

For delivery, we will send the parcel and the money to Mr. KIZ*** CHINO*** ONYEKW***.
At the address: Oladunkun Ishola Street, Igboelerin Road, Ojo, Lagos State, Nigeria.
It is correct? He is the parish secretary, or who? I hope you trust him, because we're talking about a $10,000 value-package and a sponsorship of $25,000.

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

===

13.45 - Our boy send me a new "products list". Laughing

Quote:

1. Apple iPhone XR, Fully Unlocked, 128 GB - White (Renewed)

2. Panasonic 12,000 BTU Ductless Mini Split Air Conditioning and Heating System, Indoor and Outdoor Set with Wireless Remote (208/230V)

3. Apple MacBook Air (13-inch Retina display, 1.6GHz dual-core Intel Core i5, 128GB) - Gold (Latest Model)

4. Daewoo FRS-Y22D2T RFS-Y22D2T 20 Cu. Ft. Side Mounted Silver Refrigerator

5. Giantex Portable Compact Full-Automatic Laundry 8 lbs Load Capacity Washing Machine Washer/Spinner W/Drain Pump

6. Apple iPhone 7, Fully Unlocked, 32GB - Black (Renewed)

7. Infinix Hot6X (6 items) with different colours like blue,white,red,green,black and gold

8. PlayStation 4 Pro 1TB Console

9. Video Camera Camcorder, Vlogging Camera Full HD 1080P 30FPS 3'' LCD Touch Screen Vlog Video Camera for YouTube Videos with External Microphone and Remote Control

10. ZOSI FHD Home Security Camera System Indoor Outdoor, 1080p Lite CCTV DVR Recorder 8 Channel and ( Cool

720p Weatherproof Surveillance Bullet Camera, Remote Access, Motion Detection (No Hard Drive)

11. Hidden Spy Camera WiFi 1080P, Nanny Cam Wireless with Cell Phone APP Portable Security Cameras with 8 Hours Working Time/Motion Detection/Loop Recording

12. Sony PlayStation Vita WiFi [PlayStation Vita]

13. TCL 32S327 32-Inch 1080p Roku Smart LED TV (2018 Model)

Yes ONYEKW*** KIZ*** CHINO*** is a trusted friend of mine

- My Cardinal:

Quote:

Dear Chibu***,

I have received the renewed list and we will start ordering the products. Probably in 5-7 days they will all be here and we will be able to prepare the parcel for you.
I expect you to see that you have worked with your people and prepared the land on which you will build the Monument of Faith.

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

Our idiot probably hopes to receive the money and products before he starts building the pyramid... well, he'll have a surprise. A unpleasant one. Laughing

===

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 2:30 pm

I wonder what he wants the hidden spy camera for. I can at least guess what he wants the video camera for, given that he mentioned YouTube videos. If he's a fan of those, I'm sure you can oblige.

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:45 pm

Reverend Paul:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

It pleases me to see that you are working hard at this moment and that you seem to be determined to get this church project of the ground in Nigeria. Keep up this good hard work because you know our Lord will reward those who work hard for him without complaint.
We keep praying for your progress.

Blessings
Reverend Paul

The lad:

Quote:

Thank you Rev.paul thank you so much

May the holy lamb be with you

The lad:

Quote:

Dear Reveren PAUL will you be the one to baptize me or cardinal william on the day of my baptism?

Reverend Paul:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

Your baptism will be done by the apostles you have gathered around you and who will also assist you in building the monument of faith. After your baptism ceremony the courtesy parcel and the money will be sent to you and we will make arrangements to come over to Nigeria to celebrate together.
I hope I have sufficiently answered your questions and I trust that we will meet soon.

Blessings,
Reverend Paul

The lad:

Quote:

But Rev.paul i don't have money to build the monument of faith (pyramid). You guys should send me the money first for me to start building the pyramid

Reverend Paul:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

You will be a reverend soon. Being a reverend means that you should show the way a true Christian should live and not let yourself be held back by worldly problems. Did our Lord Jesus once in his life complain that he didn't have money? Did he complain about having no food? No, He prayed to his father and made enough food for thousands of people out of a few loaves of bread and a few fish.
This is what this stage is about. Not about showing your wealth, but showing your faith. It is called the "monument of faith" for a good reason. If it was about money it would be called "the gold temple" or "the monument of wealth". You have to show to your apostles that you have the faith and leadership quailities that are required from a reverend. You can ask people around you to help and you will together complete this task.
The materials you need are not expensive. You can use canvas or plastic bags. You can fill them with sand, or cement, or even earth, which is free. You can use stones for the monument, they are also free.
Of course it would be even better if you make it more beautiful, for example when you will pave the outside completely smooth with cement and paint it or lay a mosaic with nice colored tiles, but that is not required. The only requirement is the measurement of the monument. Others have done it before you and others will do it after you. I am sure this task is not to great for a man like you.

Blessings
Reverend Paul

The lad:

Quote:

Thank you for the information. But am no longer interested i quit!, if you can't help me i can't help you too

Reverend Paul:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

Excuse me to be blunt, but this is a very rude thing to say. We are already spending $35.000,- on you and your new parish and you say we are not helping you? This is the response of a weak man, not the words of the strong man we thought you are.
I'm sorry, but as we said before, if you do not finish this initiation process we can not allow sister Anna to marry you.

Blessings,
Reverend Paul

The lad:

Quote:

The monument of faith requires alot of money, i will have to buy cements, empty bags of cements, sands and pay workers and my apostles are quitting one by one they believe in what they see. They need money to join me in the monument of faith. Mozambique and Nigeria are different

Reverend Paul:

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

I explained to you that you can use stones that you can find in the nature. You can use plastic bags that you fill with earth. Both these options are for free and don't require anything more than a little manual labour. A strong young man like yourself shouldn't be afraid of a little sweat on his back and dirt on his hands. You can easily wash that off. If your apostles act like Thomas you might reconsider if they are the right ones for this task or if you need to find different ones. You are influenced by the people around you and if they try to bring you down you will fall. If the ones around you will lift you up you will raise high and accomplish many things.
As Cardinal Adam already explained to you, we can only send money to members of our church. This monument and the baptism are the final things you need to do before you are officially installed as a reverend of the Eater church. Immediately after that, the financial support of $25.000,- and the courtesy package will be sent to you, so you can pay your apostles.
I realize that Mozambique and Nigeria are different countries, but our church remains the same. These are the rules and we will abide by them. I still have faith that you will be resourceful enough to complete this task if you truly want to.

Blessings,
Reverend

===

The lad writes to my cardinal Adam:

Quote:

Okay Cardinal, Thank you sir..i will be waiting to receive the alert of the money you are about to send in my bank account in my phone and the confirmation code/deposit slip details. I need to start building my parish we don't have much time. Cardinal william have you gone to the bank yet?

My Cardinal:

Quote:

Son, I think I do not really understand what you mean. Let me explain again that both the courtesy package and sponsorship money will be prepared, but we will all wait to see how your parish officially becomes a part of our community and how you are assigned as Reverend. To be very clear and that we do not have further discussions; the money will be paid after you and your men build the pyramid and you will receive the sacred baptism.

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

My Cardinal is upset:

Quote:

"... But am no longer interested i quit!, if you can't help me i can't help you too "

Father Paul, be blessed,
These words hurt and say everything about the Faith of our young applicant Chibu***. A true believer poses community interest before personal interest. I am deeply disappointed and start thinking that we can use our money to encourage and help the other candidate, that young man in Cameroon. Our sister Anna is a pure and clear soul, and I do not think young Chibu*** deserves her love.

Blessings,
Cardinal Adam

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:57 pm

spread out over the day

Cats: I mean if u leave me and go to sleep i will just die
Anna: Looks like you didn't
Cats: I did
and u brought me back to life again
Anna: ahw honey, that's sweet

Cats: Yeapii
I sent every items to the cardinal
Anna: wasn't too difficult was it?
Cats: Nah
Anna: But the second stage is too difficult
Cats: What is it?
Am coming let me screenshot it to u
Anna: ok
Cats: <screenshot of the cardinal's email>
Anna: Why is this difficult?
Cats: You are not always on my side, u always oppose me
Anna: No I don't
I'm on your side, but that doesn't mean I always have to agree with you
Cats: They said i need to build a pyramid first to start the 2nd stage (monument of faith) before they could be able to send me the money. Let them send the money first so i can build a pyramid for the monument of faith i don't have any money to build the pyramids, if they can't send the money first then i will quit all this task am not a fool
Anna: Of course you are not honey, but I'm not on the elderly board, I can not tell them what to do
Cats: I quit am no longer interested in their stuff..if you want to still marry me come to Nigeria if you don't want to come over then forget me. Am waiting for your decision
😭😭, i still love you with all my heart but cardinal william and Rev.paul want to tear us apart
Anna: No they don't want that
And me either. I want to be with you but it looks like you don't want that
Cats: I want to but the things they are requesting for is too expensive and they said i should be like Jesus am not Jesus
Anna: We all should be like Jesus, that's what He's teaching us in the Bible
You're not a Rot Wheiler, yet you were acting like one
Cats: I know they will still call upon you to stop talking to me, if u still love me u will still be chatting with me but if you don't love me u will stop talking to me 😪
Anna: I do love you, what you say now is nonsense, but I can't marry you if they forbid
Cats: I need money to start the monuments of faith, if you can help me with $100 i will start the monument of faith immediately .But if u can't help me and if they can't help me then they can go ahead and denounce our marriage because you never love me at first
Anna: That's an asshole thing to say
Cats: You are my only hope right now
Anna: And you are being a mean bully
Cats: Am not a bully honey
Anna: Yes you are
you're being mean
Cats: I'm not
Help me out
Am just angry right now
Rev.paul and Cardinal william is provoking me
I regret meeting them
Anna: So because you're angry at them you're being mean to me?
Nice husband you are

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:14 pm

I guess our idiot thought that the 25000 was too much money to just abandon, but considering the slithering weasel he is, he had to try to get money without effort first Laughing

This morning
Cats: It because of you am doing all this initiations
Anna: You just told me you're not doing it anymore
12:16
Cats: I know they will still call upon you to stop chatting with me
Anna: Did you quit or not?

12:30 Cats to Rev. Greenham

Quote:

I'm so sorry for what i said previously, i will complete the task . But i think u told me before that after the completion of my parish that u will come over to Nigeria to baptise me

13:07 Rev. Greenham to Cats

Quote:

Dear brother Obi***,

It warms my heart that you have decided to follow through with this task. I am convinced that with the right mindset you will be able to proceed and succeed. Glory to the Holy Lamb!

The procedures have always been the same. You will be baptized among your own apostles, assisted by them. After that the courtesy package and the $25.000,- for your parish will be sent to you and we (Cardinal Adam, myself, Sister Dave and Sister Anna) will start making preparations to come to Nigeria to celebrate the official opening. You will start the preparations for this celebration after you have received the money and products. Your apostles will have received their first salary out of the $25.000,-. All other details will be discussed in due time.

As you probably will understand, we will need to see the progress that you make. Starting with a picture of the plot of land where you will build the monument of faith and pictures of the material that you are planning to use. Cardinal Adam has made it clear that you need to send us pictures of the ongoing process of the building of this monument. Considering it is the Cardinal that supervises this process I think it is most appropriate for you to send them to him directly.

Blessings,
Reverend Greenham

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 1:55 pm

Our idiot, to father Paul Graaham:

Quote:

Will the location in which we will perform the scared monument of faith(batism) also be the same place at which i will build the parish...???

Father Paul, to my cardinal (our idiot is in CC):

Quote:

Dear Cardinal Adam,

Can you please anser this question that brother Obi*** asked me this afternoon? As you could see in my previous email he promised to build the monument and needs some more guidance from you.
Brother Obi***, I believe that the parish should be build on the same plot of land as you build the monument, but I'm sure that Cardinal Adam will clarify this for you soon.

Blessings,
Reverend Graaham.

My Cardinal:

Quote:

Dear Father Paul, dear my young son Chibu***,

Ideally, yes, The Sacred Monument of our Faith must be near the place where the new Parish and the new Church will be later built.
Practically, the Pyramid represents only the triumph of Will and Faith, and it can be raised in any place where your parishioners can come and pray.

So, you can build the pyramid in any place that is accessible to your people.
We will see the pyramid when we come to you and, if the place (the plot of land) is not enough for our plans, then we will buy another plot of land elsewhere, for our future church.

I hope everything is clear now.
Blessings,
Cardinal Adam

===

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:04 pm

Cats: Baby pls if u truely love me pls borrow me a $100 so i will use to build the monument of faith so we can get married and the sponsorships money immediately
Anna: You don't want to do it, so I don't see a reason
Cats: Am 100% am serious Anna i swear to God
Anna: Then show it
Cats: Borrow me a 100$ to build a monument faith i will pay u back when i get the sponsorship money please i beg u
Anna: I don't believe you anymore
Cats: I swear, i have apologized to Rev.paul and Cardinal william and they forgave me, pls borrow me we don't have time anymore by friday i will complete the monument then send d photos to him on Friday evening
Anna: I hope you will
But you keep changing your mind every time
Cats: I was angry then that why , sorry to say this cardinal william lied to me that before the monument of faith he will send me money but now his saying after the completion of monument faith that he will send me money that what got me angry
Anna: He's a very honest man and he has never lied to me.
What will you do if you ever get angry with me?
Cats: I won't be angry anymore at you , if i do get angry i will pray to God to then i.won't be angry anymore
Pls borrow me 100$ let me start building the money of faith we have no more time
Anna: Then you'd better start working on it
I'm doing some online shopping
Honey please tell me if you prefer normal gold or white gold?
Cats: White gold
Should i drop my bank account number now?
Anna: You could, but I can't send a rolex to a bank account
I'm going to send it in the parcel the church will send to you soon
Cats: Do u want to buy me a Rolex watch?
Anna: Yes
I think it would look so beautiful with your skintone
Cats: Perfect but that will be later honey , i.need to concentrate on the monument of faith right now
Should i drop my bank account details
Anna: ok
I'll leave you to it
Good luck honey
Cats: Baby what's wrong?.don't u want to borrow me 100$ to start the monument of faith
Anna: You don't need money for that dear. that screenshot you sent me showed that you can make it from sandbags
And I'm sending you a rolex. Isn't that enough? I want you to wear it on our wedding day
Cats: I don't need a rolex watch i will buy it when i get the sponsorship money, i need money to pay for space for d monument of faith because we have unions who collects money for any little consructions going on, and also i will pay for blocks, cements and sags bag here we pay for everything u want to use here..borrow me money to pay for it you know i Don't have a job and money to do this task help me honey will repay you back when i get the sponsorahip money
Anna: hmm. That's really ungrateful of you. Do you have any idea of the value of a rolex and you just discard that?
Not nice
If you don't want it I won't send it
Cats: Ok i want the Rolex watch , but rolex watch is not my problem now, the completion of d monuments of faith should be first before we continue any other things for now
I want the Rolex watch , so send me 100$ to start the building
Anna: Then stop complaining and start working
Cats: Borrow me 100$ ,
I will pay u back
Anna: You were acting ungrateful, you have been angry with me while I did nothing wrong and you keep changing your mind about things. I'm not borrowing you anything right now
Cats: I'm am grateful, I'm sorry to be angry at you it won't happen again
I promise
Anna: Then show me that I can trust you and do what you promised
Cats: Yes i will do it if you borrow me 100$ to start building it immediately
Anna: This is blackmail and I'm not engaging in it
Cats: It not honey, you are helping me
Do u want us the both of us to get married immediately without wasting time?
Anna: Yes, but you want to waste time by blackmailing me
Cats: Are you a man or what?
Why are you asking me all this questions am a man of course
Anna: then act like one
Cats: If you can't help me now then u have to wait till next year August for me to complete the monument of faiths
Anna: You really think I'm going to wait that long?
Cats: Then borrow me $100 why are u stressing me
Anna: you are
Cats: I told you i will pay you back
Anna: <thumbsup>
Cats: Why the thumb up?
Should i drop my bank account details now?
Anna: you are stressing me
I told you I'm not sending you money now. I'm sending you a rolex together with the parcel from the church
but if you don't like it I won't send anything
Cats: What if i accept the rolex will you still.borrow me $100
Anna: No I won't. You acted mean yesterday. You need to prove first that you will do what you promised
Cats: Forget about everything
I will go tell cardinal william to denounce our marriage am no longer interested
Anna: So it has always been about money to you?
Cats: You don't want to help me
The bible said u should help someone who is in need
Anna: Goodbye Cats
You don't love me
Cats: I will complete the monument of faiths and become a Reveren in nigeria but i won't marry you anymore i will marry a lady from my country
Anna: I know you never loved me so please stop being mean to me

He must be so happy now that his emotional blackmail doesn't work on Anna Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:17 pm

^^^ Ohh, our little moron is a lazy bastard. What a surprise, yeah? Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:19 pm

I knew that from the start, so it's not a surprise. I was much more surprised when he said he was going to make the monument. It only made sense that he was going to beg with Anna

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:27 pm

15.04 - Our moron, to my cardinal:

Quote:

Dear cardinal i regret my deeds i acted yesterday am really sorry for hurting you pls forgive me the devil is trying to make me not to serve God. I prayed over it yesterday and i will complete the monument of faith by friday, i will work for the lamb of God

God bless you Cardinal william Adam

15.25 - Cardinal Adam writes back:

Quote:

Son, it's normal to have doubts, but it's not normal to lose your Faith! Never!
You've already done it twice, and your words hurt me. Me and all those who believe in you.
Our Lord Jesus says to forgive mistakes, but remember everything and not allow the Evil to spread his seeds.

I assure you I have forgiven you and I want to believe in you and your Power. You will be our first African Bishop and you will have all our subsidiaries under your control. But, you have to go through the initiation stages and prove that our young sister Anna did not make mistakes when she chose you. I have your word?

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Cardinal Adam

===

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:39 pm

15:08
Cats: You never loved me too, i don't want to marry a wife who never understands me and who won't help me when am in need of something
You're very stingy
Anna: stop talking to me please if you can only say mean things
Isn't it enough that you broke my heart and made me cry?
Cats: I never broke your heart you broke it yourself, you are too stingy
It never too late to change your mind now
It up to you to choose
Anna: <image of a broken heart>
15:22 Cats: Lol
Send me 100$ to get start stop been stingy
Stingy wife
15:31 Cats: Send me 100$ for me to start building the monument of faith then we can get married immediately am not after money i need help, a good christian should help someone who is in need but i wonder what type of a christian are you..it up for you to choose whether you want to marry me or not if u truely love me

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:46 pm

^^^ Muhahahaha! This pile of crap thinks Anna will be convinced to send him money. Well, wrong! Laughing

What do you think if we introduce a new applicant to the story? "The Man of Cameroon"?
Who, like Cats, is trying to lay the foundations of a new Eater parish, there in Yaounde? Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 2:48 pm

That means more work for us. In the past, when he thinks he loses it all he'll turn around. I'm sure that in the next few hours reverend Grayham will receive an alarming message and that our dear Cats will hear that it's all or nothing now.
A reverend that uses blackmail...... oh no, we don't want that, he'll have to apologize to Anna. Properly if he still wants a shot at the money

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 3:07 pm

- Cats to cardinal Adam:

Quote:

Okay cardinal william i understand you clearly but i have a big problem. The space i will use in building the monument of faith is not for free, we have unions who collects money for any little building it the law here to pay for it here and if i refuse to pay for it i will be arrested and jailed and there will be no more bishop of Africa who will do the work of God, here is a city and not a village where u can a build little contruction for free. We have to pay for the sands,.cements, bricks and woods nothing in here is given free of charge. I need your help even though it just $200 pls send to me to solve this problem because i don't have any single money my bank account balance is #000.00k, The lord said in the bible that we should give to those who is in need and he also said that the more you give the more you recieve pls help me out cardinal am not after money am after to do the work of God in heaven

- I sent him few of the pictures of the pyramid builded by our former pastor Prince Eze. Laughing

Quote:

Son, every problem has a solution. Everything is about being ready to look for the solution and solve the problem as a true leader of your community! Your request seems completely displaced and offensive and I think you want the church to pay you for your efforts.
Son, before you get it, you have to prove you deserve it!

Your words make me think that you do not understand a simple thing I have told you many times: If you do not finish the internship, you are a stranger to us! And we do not do business with strangers! So, you must be a member of the church before you hope you will receive our money!

Regarding the problem of where to build the pyramid, I tell you that we have another applicant trying to build a parish in Cameroon (Yaounde). Also there is a big city, so our future Reverend there decided to build the pyramid in the yard of one of his apostles. So, he found an ingenious solution, and now we are preparing to send his Package of Courtesy and his first sponsorship payment.

Look at his photos! You can do the same, if you really want to be our Brother, our Reverend, our Bishop!
Blessings,
Cardinal Adam

===

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 3:24 pm

16:23 Reverend Greenham to Cardinal Adam and Cats

Quote:

Dear Cardinal Adam,

An alarming message from Sister Anna just reached me. It seems that brother Cats wasn't willing to fulfill his task of building the monument with materials he could find around him in the nature, but he used blackmail techniques on Sister Anna to force her to pay for this. I seriously hope that this is all based on a huge misunderstanding, but it is a severe sin to do this and I am not sure if it is good for us to have a reverend, or even a bisshop in Africa that thinks this is the normal way of treating people.

Sister Anna is immensely sad now, as she thinks she lost her life partner. Personally I believe that if this story is true, she'll be better off without him.

Broter Cats, I would like to hear your part of the story. What happened? What is it that you said to sister Anna today that made her cry and made her believe you were forcing her to pay for the task you promised to fulfill? Please explain to us and I sincerely hope this is all an unfortunate event of incomprehension. I know full well that Nigeria is not the same as Europe, but our church is not an African one and we do not tolerate practices of blackmail and bribes.

Blessings,
Reverend Greenham.

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 3:42 pm

- Cats to my old cardinal (before the message of Father Paul):

Quote:

Dear cardinal you promised to send me one of your photos and the church photos

- I have some "good photos", so Cardinal Adam writes him:

Quote:

That's right, you're right! Sister Vivianne found 2-3 photos with me, which she promised to make available to me.
It is my fault that I forgot to remember it, but I promise to come back.
I will also ask Father Paul to show you some pictures of our ceremonies, to see who we are and where we want to go.

Be blessed,
Cardinal Adam

===

Immediately after this, the message from Rev. Paul (see above) came in my Inbox, so cardinal Adam is angry and asks for details and explanations.

Quote:

Father Paul, I can not believe our young applicant could do that!
He asked for money also from me, but I explained to him what our rules are.
But I did not think he would try to take money from his next wife.
Jesus Christ, it is outrageous and unacceptable!

I'm waiting for explanations.
Adam

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