"Hello beautiful" - Cammy's new Lad

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Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 3:25 am

I raised the possibility of Cammy suing P-Log as a possible complication; here's a couple more.

- Cammy recovers and finds out about how "if the Sender does not want to pay the costs of storing, handling and shipping back to his / her home country, then the contents of the package are shared among the local delivery team members" - she could get annoyed over being charged again (Kevin could cop some flak for causing that) and also for being told it would be delivered to Kevin in Nigeria when surely the firm knew that wasn't possible?
There could be an acrid email exchange, with Kevin cc'd throughout - Mr Mystery 314 would be just the person to be customer relations for dealing with Cammy's complaints. This could segue nicely into the hypothetical lawsuit.

- Cammy's neuralgia, and the friction with her fellow Asatru, could lead to Ute, the goda of Freyja, stepping in to open channels with Kevin.
She sees all the problems as being Freyja's judgement and wants to hear the full story from Kevin - it would be interesting to see how Kevin recounts what's happened.

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 4:25 am

It sounds like our lad wants to travel to Benin; we can make that happen if he really wants. We shouldn't move the package from Cameroon for a few days, although Benin as a plan B seems quite acceptable.

As for the other possibilities raised:
-The issue with starting the litigation plot-line is that it doesn't directly result in a safari; Cammy could consult with a lawyer and determine that they'd only have a case if the delivery was attempted but failed somehow then, meaning that Kevin would have to try and get the package first. Kevin and Cammy could stand to make a lot of money if this case went to trial, although it would first need an honest effort from the lad to get the package. After the safari, when we have an angry, hungry lad, would be a perfect time to start throwing around paperwork and legal jargon.

-Playing around with the idea of divine fate being responsible for this mishap is a viable angle that has been explored before with different lads; I don't think Kevin would care too much about Freyja and all that, but if Cammy implied (or outright said) that disrespecting her religion by not accepting the gods' preordained fate for him (a.k.a. the safari) would not bode well for his future prospects.

We have some room to experiment, but if a safari somewhere is our goal, making sure that all angles lead there eventually seems like the best option. We have this entire week to explore the Cameroon option further before we tell the lad about the Parakou shipping hub. Cammy can encourage Kevin to get the matter settled quickly or enter a drawn-out fight with the shipping company, but the lad must be led at some point to realize the only way he'll get money from a lawsuit/compensation/anything is if he gets the package. An uncooperative, churlish customer has no right to financial compensation of any sort.

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 4:50 am

Well, a Safari is an excellent prize, no matter where the idiot travels!... so, if he wants to go to Benin, we'll try this alternative.
- My manager Qesha replies that "shipment is possible, but it depends on the company's top management."
- Mr. Claude is on his vacation, so now is the time for another character to enter the scene... Mike, are you available "to approve" that the parcel be moved from Douala to Parakou?
- Of course, the central PLog warehouse is in Parakou, NOT in Cotonou!... the package is HVC (high value content), so it can not be delivered to Cotonou as a simple envelope of documents.

a) Best option - The idiot must accept to come to Parakou. Laughing

b) The second best option - We can try "the Yashikera variant"... Yashikera is that small nigerian village, near de beninoise border (more than 425 km from Lagos... Safari!) Laughing

c) We will accept to deliver in Cotonou... Joojoo, goat, bla bla bla.
===

06.00 - My manager Qesha responds to Kevin:

Quote:

Sabah el Kheir, mister Smith!
Yes, the transport of parcels between different warehouses is considered an internal movement and no additional costs are charged.
However, the decision to move must come from the company's management. I, as a regional manager, can not have such initiatives.
Salam!
Qesha

===

08.01 - Our dear Kevin, to Qesha:

Quote:

How can i contact them

- Half an hour later, my Cameroon manager responds:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum, mister Smith!
The ideal option is to discuss with Customer Support (CustomerSupport mailaddress). From the information I have on file, your Customer Care Officer is Mr. Postumierre Claude but he is now on vacation. I can not tell you who took over Claude's assignments. You have to ask. Theoretically, it is a simple procedure that requires you to make a Request Letter to relocate the package based on personal reasons and attach a copy of the ID you identified yourself. Send the scanned copy of this Request Letter and everything is resolved in a few days. In BIP cases, because the Receiver is identified with his "personal profile," you will need to send a short video to indicate who you are (name, surname and address) and simply request to move the parcel #TRK927911*** from Douala-Cameroon to Parakou-Benin for some personal reasons (there is no need to explain the nature of the grounds relied on). This is all. If you want things to happen quickly, you can send the video file directly to me and I will return it to my colleague in Benin (along with the rest of the documentation accompanying the package). The first air-shuttle is Friday morning, and the parcel will arrive at the central warehouse in Benin the afternoon of the same day.
Masha' Allah!
Qesha

MrMystery314, I think Mike must take over Claude's assignments and "approve" the request to move the parcel in Benin. So, are you ready for?
- because the package is HVC type (high value content) and has one pre-paid Insurance Policy, the regulation says delivery is made at the warehouse in the presence of the local manager.
- the local manager can make some personal decisions about delivery, but it's just his own responsibility and the company can not officially get involved. Laughing

- this way, we will be able to invoke the Regulation, when we need to be intransigent... but we also can "get special derogations", if we want the idiot to believe the local manager is making concessions.
===

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 12:40 pm

Here's tonight's chat, in which Kevin gets a roasting for ill-timed humour (emphasis added)

I'm here now; are you?
Yes I am... Why weren't you online yesterday??
Excuse me?
Why are you sounding like a jealous lover all of a sudden?
You should applaud my restraint!
Cammy you should understand that I'm already missing you
When you're in severe pain, a lot of things can seem less important.
Haven't you gone for check up lately??
Check-ups aren't instant cures, dewd.
I went to the GP and he pretty much confirmed it's neuralgia.
Now I'm on heavy-duty painkillers.
Damn!! This is serious
Ya think???
Obviously
How you feeling now??
I had a bad time about an hour ago.
Funny thing... you haven't asked what it's like.
Lol... What's it like?? Tell me
Is it more than Einstein's theory

I have no idea what made him refer to Einstein, but that Lol was not a good idea...

Fuck you.
And I mean that!!!!!!1
You fucking LAUGHED!!!!1
No I didn't mean to.. I'm sorry
So why that fucking LOL?
Auto keyboard...
Why that crack about Einstein?
Cause most of his theories are quite incomprehensible
What the fuck has he got to do with what's happening to me?
Seriously, what the actual fuck?
I'm just asking if the situation is harder than his theories??
Okay tell me, what's it like??
It's fucking agony, asshole!
Said I'm sorry... Please
It's like have something barbed shoved into my upper jaw and then torn out again, over and over for several minutes.
Where's that in Einstein's writing?
That's really agony!!!
So what did you take for breakfast??
Coffee and croissants. Why are you asking that?
Just wanted to be sure that you've eaten
The parcel was taken back to Benin
Based on what the manager told me
Back to Benin? I thought it came from Dakar to Cameroon.
Yeah... I thought it was gonna come directly to Nigeria, my doorstep
That's what I hoped.
I was asked to come pick it up there, but that wasn't I and Claude agreed on
Hang on, I have to look at the map.
Alright
I asked him to bring it back to Benin cause its more easier for me to pick it up there
So are you going to do that?
Wouldn't ask him to bring it to Benin if I wasn't gonna do that
Fine. When are you going?
It was supposed to be so easy.
He said the shuttle bus leaves on Friday and arrives here at noon... I was asked to do some video and make a short letter for that
Same here
I just want it done and dusted.
Thought you paid for doorstep delivery
I thought that too.
Just a thought - you'd better have someone with you. I don't think you could handle that package by yourself.
Anyways, good news is the parcel is in Africa
I'm going with a friend
Kewl.
But I'm kinda nervous
Not with enough expenses for the transport
Maybe your friend can grubstick you.
I think
It can't be too much.
I guess so..
Any updates about your passport
It's in the system. That's all I know.
So no exact time to get it back
A favour, please - if you could forward the emails you got from Clyde or whoever. I may need them if I decide to lodge a complaint.

He supplied five of the past emails he'd received.

Thanx.
So what are you up to??
Huh?
I was reading the messages and then I see that question... what's going on?
I'm asking what you're up to
That sounds like the kind of thing you'd say if you're suspicious.
No, just wanted to know what you're doing...
Can't wait for your visit
I was reading the emails you forwarded.
Ooh!! You're done??
Not yet.
Alright
Seems like you said something that guy didn't like a couple of times.
I was trying to explain things to him
It wasn't what I and Claude negotiated
That's as may be. If you were bad-mouthing people, I might not be able to complain quite as much.
Thank goodness I didn't... And you actually lay complaints
I don't see your emails in that lot. Just his replies.
That was because my replies were not as much though...
Maybe a complaint from you make them send the parcels directly to my doorstep
I mean to their head company
I'll try, but no guarantees.
I guess that will be some headstart
Hang on - I can't guarantee any results. You'd better get ready to move as a fallback option.
That was my initial plan
I've only got two days to make contact and work things out. Better you go as planned.
Its only until Friday
So you do yours and I do mine
Haven't I done everything already?
As the sender you have a upper hand in this
"You do yours and I do mine..." You haven't done anything, dewd.
Once you lay the complaints, and nothing works out, then we go with my plan
That email says they can't operate in Nigeria. Sounds pretty conclusive.
But Claude said they had their headquarters is in abuja
Perhaps they're under an interdict or whatever the word is.
Maybe.. But he made it sound as if they were prohibited to come to Nigeria
Fuck. I just thought I'd have an apple. Big mistake.
Is that a problem??
What the fuck do you THINK just happened?
Another neuralgia burst.
I have no idea
Eating, cleaning my teeth... worst time was when Nikki gave me a kiss, thought it would help. I almost bit off her tongue.
I'd better go. Not feeling good at all.

Edited to fix missed italics

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 1:12 pm

^^^ LOL, well done!

- The idiot is silent and has not written any messages until now... Neither to Claude, nor to Customer Support.
- Mr. Claude is on his vacation, so he will not respond to any messages until very late.
- The idiot will have to travel if he wants to get the money. Also, if he does not send that video file, the package does not leave from Douala to Parakou.

Poor lad! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:13 pm

I could certainly approve a transfer in the name of customer satisfaction, once any paperwork necessary has been filled out. Parakou is lovely at this time of year, and probably harder to travel to than Douala.

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:57 pm

^^^ If the idiot returns to me, I'll let him know who is the person can approve the movement oh his parcel. You! Twisted Evil

Because it's silent, I think he's looking at the map now and crying abundantly Laughing

... Parakou and Douala are two destinations as "hard to reach" for an idiot from Lagos.

Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:57 pm

Perhaps his post Safari video can be called Pissed off and Potless in Parakou. I for one am wishing him a wonderful trip full of hash conditions and a bit of stredding Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 12:12 am

^ The other version could be called "Damned and Desperate in Douala."

Cammy will sneak off to the P-Log office in Sydney to complain about the delivery - being unable to phone is so annoying! - only to be told that...

1. The local area manager is responsible for final delivery.

2. The problem with the delivery licence for Nigeria is an annoyance, but again, the local area manager is responsible for that.

3. There is a chance that the charges to return the package can be waived, but that's for the firm's legal department to determine.

If that's OK, Cammy will tell Kevin the news tonight.

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 5:18 am

Wednesday

06.12 - Qesha writes to Kevin (Mike is in CC):

Quote:

Sabah el Kheir, mister Smith!
I will not be present in Douala tomorrow, because I have to accompany an HVC parcel in the northern part of the country. Therefore, if you decided to transfer the parcel #TRK927911*** to our Benin branch, then I expect from you that video file (which we was talking about yesterday) no later than 18.00 local time, so I can approve the air-transfer on Friday morning. As long as I do not receive anything from you, the parcel will remain in our custody. The next airfreight will be scheduled next week, at a later date.
I was able to get in touch with my colleagues from the Customer Care Department yesterday and find out that Mr. Claude Postumierre is on vacation and returns only after July 16. For any logistics issues, you can turn to Mr. Mike Neubery - Senior Officer CCD - at his email address: mike emailaddress - with the specification that he works at our US headquarters and you need to take into account the time zone difference. I will put him also in CC on this message, for best understanding of the situation.
Salam!
Qesha

- I want to push the idiot and make him make urgent decisions. In RL, tomorrow I will not be available (till later afternoon) for scambaiting.
- I hope the idiot sends that Video-Request Laughing

and we will "move" the parcel to Parakou... the manager of Benin (Mr. Akwoodi) is ready to take over this delicate task of delivering Kevin's package. Laughing

===

09.00 - Nothing from him... I think our dear lad still hopes that Cammy will solve his problem and that the package is brought directly to his door. Lazy bastard! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 11:06 am

If he expects Cammy to solve his problems, he's not making an effort, if tonight's chat is anything to go by.

So sorry
I didn't see that coming
Okay, please just take care of yourself
Hello cammy
Huh, you didn't see that coming? Story of my life right now.
How are you doing
Holding together. I'm not good with pain.
Chicken pollo with salad.
That's what you're eating?
Have eaten.
Ok cammy
Are you done reading the mail
You were talking about fashion in Nigeria a while back.
Park your peepers on this. I found it through Pinterest.
http://hypnozglam.com/2017/05/bfyne-swimwear/
Not just the swimsuits either. Those babes are smoking hot!
Ok cammy
Did you actually look?
How goes your passport
Not yet
NFI. Things happen when they happen, I guess.
And on that topic, yes, I ventured forth to Pith's office to ask what was going on and so on and so forth. Not being able to call can be a real pain in the ass.
Ok....what did they say
"Not my problem."
It's all down to the man on the sport, they told me.
Ok cammy
The good news, for me, is that the charges for returning the package to me can be waived, if the firm's legal department plays nice.
That would be a sad outcome, though.
Yes
Seems like the ball is in your court, dewd.
I'll see what i can do
I thought that you're ready to make the pickup.
Now you're sounding all uncertain.
I can't go to Cameroon...... So I'm telling them to bring it back to benin
Why can't you go to Cameroon?
I Don't know anybody and i Don't have money...plus it's risky
How is it risky?
In terms of danger
I guessed that!
So how is it dangerous?
Thugs and other things
I'm coming to Nigeria despite the warnings on Smartraveller. Think of that.
But then...

I was about to mention his height...but then I thought, nah.

True but in Nigeria you have me
To be brutally honest, that doesn't exactly reassure me.
And also you'll have a security with you
I hope he's not some mall ninja.
Lol...he's not
So what kind of cop is he?
Is actually a soldier
What kind? Infantry, armour, procurement?
Just normal army
Oh, infantry then.
Ok
I've got nothing against infantry. My brother was a footslogger before he went into SpecFor.
Nice
Better leave it there, I've said more than I should.
Ok cammy
About Roscoe, I mean.
I understand
So there are no thugs in Benin?
They are but i know someone there
Oh, right.
So with your friend and your local contact, it should be all nice and kentucky.
I hope so
Actually, hang on - you don't have a passport!
Why didn't I think of that?
Why didn't you?
I'm going by land
So?
It's still another country, dewd!
I don't need a passport for that
Huh?
Yeah
Is there something like the EU over there?
EU ?
Never mind.
Tell me
I'm making a list of things I have to tell you about.
Ok cammy
Hang on, back in five.
Ok
Had to take a Tegretol.
Ok cammy
Special pain killer.
I know
About time you know something I mention.
Lol
I need to go. I should be able to focus enough for my devotions to Odin.

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 11:35 am

^^^ LOL!

11.23 - It seems the idiot is determined to travel to Benin because he just answered to my Cameroon manager:

Quote:

I will send the video as soon as possible

===

16.25 - Ohh, yeahh!... This is our boy! Laughing

- He sent that video file Laughing

... the volume is very low, but it sounds perfectly with earphones.

~~~ THE MOVIE is here! ~~~

- One screenshot.

Quote:

I'm sorry you'll need to use earbuds because my phone is not that good..... Please bear with me

and

Quote:

I'll send the letter next

===

17.35 - My manager Qesha to our idiot:

Quote:

Salam mister Smith!
I confirm that I have received your video file and that I will schedule the shipment of your parcel to the central warehouse in Benin on Friday morning.
Probably Friday afternoon (or Saturday morning thereafter) you will be contacted by my colleague in Benin - Mr. Akwoodi Osuaze - for details of delivery schedule.
Masha' Allah!
Qesha

===

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:52 am

He hasn't contacted me, and I haven't contacted him. I'm assuming if he has issues, which he certainly will at some point, we'll have reason to chat, but if he can solve his own problems for now we'll let him go to Parakou on his own terms.

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:33 am

In the middle of the night he sent me his new "Request Letter". Laughing

Quote:

Ok, I will do that.

and

Quote:

Please help me as fast as you can

===

Thursday, very early morning, Qesha confirms:

Quote:

Salam,
File received. OK.
I'm on my way.
Tomorrow I will send the parcel.
Qesha

===

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:46 am

Kevin may have been working up to asking Cammy to pay for his trip... read on.

Hello cammy
O HAI
How are you doing
OK so far.
How's your health
Coping.
Update, please.

He pasted in the latest from P-Log.

That's one problem solved..... And there seems to be another issue
For every solution there is a problem.
No surprises there.
I don't have money to cross the border with the package back to Nigeria
How about your friend?
He's just accompanying me for security reasons
Well, think of something.
I'm confused
How come?
When i thought everything was already okay.... Then this again
I thought it was going to be all nice and kentucky, and then you spring this on me.
It's not my fault
I never liked that excuse.
I'm sorry
I Don't know what to do
You have to think of something, dewd.
I know....... But I don't have money you know that
It can't be smuggled easily through the border without money
What do you mean "smuggle"?
Sorry mistake.... I mean pass the border with the package
I thought you had enough money for fares. Is this extra money?
Yes because of customs
You should have thought of that earlier.
I didn't know about that until i got a tip from someone
Oh gods... you told someone else about this?
Do you ever keep secrets!
No i didn't tell anyone else.... Just the agent i told you about before
So how come this guy told you about the customs? Some casual chat about getting past Border Security?
I need coffee.
Because he's an agent it's what they do...... My friend's father went through the same thing
By Hel's frozen teeth - does your friend have money?
No
FUCK!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry I'm bordering you with this
Find an answer. Get it done.
I'm trying not to put the package at risk
You told me, "You do your part and I do my part" - I've fucking well done my fucking part.
So you do your part.
Ok cammy.......I'll see what i can do
I'm going to go now. I want to hear good news on Saturday. I want you to tell me that you're good to go.
Because no package, no Cammy.
You got that?
Ok cammy

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 2:38 pm

^^^ "... I don't have money to cross the border with the package back to Nigeria..."

WTF???
Our boy has 50,000 in his parcel... Laughing

===

15.45 - Directly from the PLog servers:

Quote:

UPDATE: The parcel # TRK927911*** is located now in our warehouse at Parakou Airport - Parakou/Benin. We will keep you up to date.

The P-Log Team

===

I had a very tough day and I made a funny mistake... I sent the parcel in Benin a day earlier than I said initially. I think the idiot will enjoy. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:13 pm

There's absolutely no issue with having the package arrive a day early. Since Cammy spent so much on it and the shipping costs, the company's willing to make things easier for her if it means having a repeat customer.

Nothing from him to me so far, and I probably won't contact him until he starts complaining. If he goes to Parakou without my direct involvement, that's great, and I can then jump in once things start going wrong.

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 6:18 am

Friday

07.15 - Manager Akwoodi (Benin) writes to Kevin:

Quote:

Good morning, sir! I received a short message from my colleague in Douala yesterday night about one voluntary relocation (at the request of the recipient) of a package arriving from Australia. Are you The Receiver? I'm not today at our headquarters in Parakou, but I'd like to be sure that you are the person empowered to communicate with me. Please confirm: parcel identification number, who is The Sender, who is The Receiver, delivery address (as shown in shipping documents) and please send me an identification photo. Qesha told me yesterday that delivery is in the "biometrical procedure" category. Tomorrow I will be able to compare all this details and I will return at you with details on the delivery. I'm Akwoodi Osuaze from P-Log / Benin Regional Manager

===

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 15 Jan 2010 Posts: 953

Quote:

.... If you can't bring it to Nigeria I'll make sure your company gets sued

If the threat of a law suit comes up again, all P-Log related correspondence should go through the representative law firm of Winchester, Pierce, and Hunnicutt. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:50 pm

2250 AEST and Kevin hasn't appeared on chat... seems he's not online. Could it be that he's on the road? Fingers are crossed!

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 28 Oct 2018 Posts: 90

Maybe there is a class action lawsuit in the works that he can be invited to be a part of?

Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:02 am

Not counting Freyja-day, that's nearly two full days without any contact with Kevin. Cammy sent a plaintive email at 1002 AEST and no reply.

Now I'm wondering if his best buddy took back the loaned phone.

Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:41 am

Update; an email was received at 2051 AEST.

Quote:

I'm not ignoring you,,,something happened that's why

Cammy's asked for details. Watch this space.

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 1:03 am

Developments, and not encouraging ones. What follows is a collection of emails from between 1030 and 1050 AEST. I've formatted them as chat.

I told you before that the package will be confiscated; now the [company] doesn't want to respond to my message

No, he hadn't told me about P-Log not responding.

What the fuck - you never told me that PITH wasn't answering you! ! Why say that you did? I've copied PITH on this, so I can get the whole story.
Ok cammy
Why don't you tell me what happened, who said what? Trust me, I'd really like to know.
You really want to know?.... I got my ass handed to me and the package got confiscated

Now it's getting worse. Is he making things up as he goes along?

Please, stop telling me bits and pieces. Exactly what happened and when?
On my way to get the package coming back the customs showed up
I got beaten
How badly? And why did they beat you?
Very bad and because i was resisting
This is so fucked! Where are you now?
Got discharged from the hospital yesterday
I'm due at the gym and they'll be asking me a bunch of questions if I don't go with them. I'll have to think about what I can do. Rest now and wait for me to get back. I'm so sorry about what happened. We'll put things right together.

So, what now?

(Edited to add italics)

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 6:14 am

Monday

Our boy is lying? Ohh, what a surprise for us! Laughing

Cammy to Kevin and Claude:

Quote:

Kevin

What the fuck - you never told me that PITH wasn't answering you! ! Why say that you did? I've copied PITH on this, so I can get the whole story.

Cammy

Claude is in his vacation, so he make forward to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Akwoodi, what's going on there?
Please clarify with the parties involved.
I'm on my vacation.

Akwoodi responds to Kevin and Cammy... our idiot boy was slapped.

Quote:

Good morning Madam,
Good morning Sir,

Mr. Smith, what's this stupid thing about confiscating the package? All you have to do is to respond to messages and to communicate.
Madam White, on July 05 (Friday) I sent a message to Mr. Smith and asked for confirmation of details about the package. His parcel is in custody of the central warehouse in Benin, as Mr. Smith asked. He did not answer my message. This is the text I sent to Mr. Smith:

Good morning, sir! I received a short message from my colleague in Douala yesterday night about one voluntary relocation (at the request of the recipient) of a package arriving from Australia. Are you The Receiver? I'm not today at our headquarters in Parakou, but I'd like to be sure that you are the person empowered to communicate with me. Please confirm: parcel identification number, who is The Sender, who is The Receiver, delivery address (as shown in shipping documents) and please send me an identification photo. Qesha told me yesterday that delivery is in the "biometrical procedure" category. Tomorrow I will be able to compare all this details and I will return at you with details on the delivery. I'm Akwoodi Osuaze from PLog / Benin Regional Manager

My colleague from Cameroon told me that Mr. Smith had requested the relocation of the parcel in Benin because he could come and take it from here. I'm at his disposal to make all the necessary arrangements. Akwoodi

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