"Hello beautiful" - Cammy's new Lad

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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 3:22 am

Americans call them flip-flops too. Thongs here refer to lingerie or a very skimpy bathing suit, and I certainly don’t want to see lads wearing those.

As for shipping companies, I’m not sure if the one named after our safari hat icons is fully operational yet, but you could check. If it has been launched yet, it would be fun to test it out. The one used in that thread, the one with GPS in its name, is definitely still in operation, as we are using it right now. BertjeAass and Birlic could clarify as to exactly what’s working, but we can certainly ship a package to one of our fine shipping hubs, none of which are where the lad is located. I’m just a customer care officer, so I would check in with one of them about shipping anything.

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:16 am

^ Thanx, Mr M314.

Here's today's exchange.

Hello
G'day.
How are you doing
How was Sunday? Good service?
Yes it was
How are you doing
Today was cold and wet. Tomorrow will be worse. 60 mm of rain, and there'll be thunderstorms. I won't be going anywhere!
That's sounds really bad
You should have seen the radar map! It was like a fucking Jackson Pollock!
Danm
It'll be better by Wodensday.
Ok
Back to what we were discussing on Saturday...
Oh yes....
Are you planning on buying a car.
Actually you're buying the car. I'd be funding that.
I couldn't drive a car. No licence.
Ok
So what's your budget for the car
You tell me the cost. You said upwards of $5000, I think.
Yes....but You'll need a very strong car that can go a long distance but it's way more that $5000
How much more?
That'll be $15000 upwards
What make and model are we talking about?
The Mercedes E300

https://www.mbusa.com/content/dam/mb-nafta/us/myco/my19/e/sedan/byo/options/2019-E-SEDAN-014.jpg

Are you sure about that?
It looks like a town car. From what I've seen I was thinking you'd want to get something with off-road grunt.
I don't really know much about cars but that'll be the best
Unless everything you want me to see in inside Lagos, and you wouldn't need a strong car for that.
The reason for a strong car is because of our roads
You didn't aim low, though. Over here it's a smidge under 100K.
And an E-300 doesn't look so strong.
More like a James Bond car.
Ok...can you Tell me how much you'd like to budget for the car because I don't want to sound like I'm calling big amount
I don't know the differences between what things cost over here and over there. I can't guess. No information.
Another reason for calling that amount is also because we haven't discussed the amount you'll spend for your stay
Isn't that for me to worry about?
If you give me that itinerary, that is. I'll need that to make any plans.
Ball's in your court now.
What itinerary?? Is it the place of visit??
That as well should be what I should worry about cammy
That's what an itinerary is. A list of places to go to, and the travel times in between.
That way I can research hotels and so on.
Okay, I will send the list of where to visit... Hotels isn't the problem
How come hotels aren't a problem?
Hotels for both of us to stay in?? I know a lot of wonderful hotels... You could as well do your research
That's what I said!
I've mentioned my brother before, he's in the Army - well, I learned a few things from him, including how to shoot a nine-mil, and that shotguns should be left well alone.
I got to be a fairly good shot, once I learned not to flinch.
Anyhoo - main thing was, always plan ahead and don't rely on making things up as you go. That only works for Indiana Jones.
So I really truly need an itinerary, and you're my contact, so please get to work. It's for both of us.
Cammy it depends on how many weeks you will be staying
Cause with me, I have up to 10places for us to visit with the ride
Then send me that list and I can plan, because without knowing what's to be seen, and where, I won't know how much time I'll need!
Freyja soothe my aching head!
Jhalobia recreation park and gardens
Lekki conservation centre
Silverbird cinema and galleria
The ibeno beach
Inagbe grand resorts and leisure Lagos
Ikeja city mall
GET arena
Elegushi beach
Lekki leisure lake
Tarkwa bay beach
Hi impact planet
Nigerian national museum
National theater. This are just places we are going to be visiting...
I'll look them up myself. Hel, Google maps can give travel times by car.
If strong cars over there in Australia are worth up to a $100,000; what amount is for luxurious car?
A luxury car is 100K. Strong cars, not so sure. A Jeep Cherokee or Wrangler can set you back between 25K and 40K.
Based on the price you have for the E-300, it would be 5K to 10K for a jeep.
But then I'm just guessing.
If you asked me, the luxurious car is okay... But over here, I can't give an exact figure of how much it cost... The amount I gave is just rough amount
You can find that out, can't you? Look at the adverts, ask at the sales yards, you know?
I understand
I'm doing this for both of us. The least you can do is make it easier for me to plan things.
I will... I promise
I'll leave you to it. It's cold and I'm not feeling so good. Take care now.

Until next time!

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:38 am

Yastreb wrote:

... Questions for everyone...

1. The plan is to send Kevin an iPhone with cash to buy a car; I'm thinking that he might need some classy shoes (cf. Sparky 905's Lad*) to replace those grotty thongs** and maybe some other things... any suggestions?

- CASH
- few Iphones... for him and his friends. It will be useful later if the idiot wants to travel with his friends. Laughing

- few laptops,
- 1 video camera, 1 photo-camera,
- 1 digital printer
- 1 nice large flat screen TV
You will need to send a large & heavy parcel... a HVC (high value content) one. Laughing

Yastreb wrote:

2. Which courier company is best suited?

We have "the classic one" and we have also something new (https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=301346).
If you need my characters, I'm here. Laughing

PS: I'm from Romania, so my local time is somewhat close to West Africa countries (only 2 hours difference). That means I can be "active" at the right times for them. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 2:17 pm

I love having my scammers do the work. I have had my lads go through the Sony website and pick through the cameras, lenses, cellphones and video equipment that they want. I have told them that my ex boyfriend is very high in management and gets anything I want for free for product testing. I have told my scammers that they need to make a poster size list of the products and take a photo of it with them holding it up so that the product identification cannot be scanned by his work computers when I send an email to him. I will just send the photo to my boyfriend. It has resulted in funny trophies.

I would suggest:
A lens (E PZ 18–110 mm F4 G OSS for $3,500)
A camera (α99 II with Back-Illuminated Full-Frame Image Sensor for $3,200)
An OLED Flat Screen (A8F 65inch for $3,500)

Let the scammer find a phone that will work in his cell system.

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 3:03 pm

Birlic wrote:

We have "the classic one" and we have also something new (https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=301346).
If you need my characters, I'm here. Laughing

- Logistics at your service! Happy to set you up with an account if you want Yastreb (but i'd recommend Birlics 5star Customer Service any time!)

Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:13 am

Thanx, BertjeAass and Birlic, I'll think about those recommendations... And in the meantime, here's more chat, and most of it's about cars!

Hello cammy
Are you there
Sorry, I was AFK feeding the kittehs.
Ok
How are you doing
Cold, wet, dreary, more of the same tomorrow. It's winter, you see.
Oh yes
Have you eaten
Yep. Lamb ragu with polenta, mushrooms, and parsley. Cheryl's a pretty good cook.
That's nice
I never did quite get the hang of cooking. I mean, I can grill and boil and the basic stuff, but anything too involved... nah.
That's not bad you can learn
I've tried, dewd.
Ok
You must have some blind spots - things you can't make go right no matter what.
That's true
Like I can't do music, for obvious reasons.
And babysitting is a problem.
And of course no driving.
Why
Which one?
For babysitting and driving
Same as for music, dewd.

And now, the subject switches to something close to Kevin's heart.

Ok
So I've been checking about the car and you were right a good car cost a lot
Better give me the bad news then.
I asked someone and he said it starts from $53,000 upwards... So i had to do my research and i found one....I'm sending the screenshot now
53K over there? Who could afford one?

He dropped in the screenshot. Cammy will explain what's wrong with it.

Got a question for you.
Why did you send me a Canadian advert?

The advert was for Mercedes E300, cost $79990, for a dealer in Calgary, AB.

Sure go on
That was the research I made
Prices in Canada won't be the same as Nigeria, dewd.
GDP, PCI, COL and all the other TLAs of economics (which I suck at, but I still have some basic knowledge)
Its actually cheaper over there than here in Nigeria
The research I made might come a little bit different Cammy..
Shut UP! You're jerking my leg bigtime!
Okay so what do you want?? My dealer said its actually negotiable
Or at least you can as well do your research and give me a feedback
Excuse me? It's going to be your car! You might as well, like, DO something about it!
I'm not asking that much!
I understand that fact... However different advertisements comes with different sites Cammy, so it's better we stocked to my dealers reference
You can forget that Mercedes.
I'm well off, but there are limits.
80K is too high.
That's comprehensive... So Mercedes out right?
The E300, yes.
Sorry to pop your parade.
Okay... I can look for another brand but lesser??
Yes. Just remember I'm buying some other things too. Don't get carried away, dewd.
K?
Yeah I understand... Your stay is more important Cammy
Cammy just researched another and I don't know if its quite cheap or not...
I don't know either, unless you... tell me!
Its actually $45,000... Is it less??
A lot less. Details please. A screengrab if you can.
Alright just a sec...

The ad seems to be from the same source as the other one, and...

That ad is three years old, dewd.
Yeah its 3years and still my dealer gave the same figure Cammy...
Uh huh... well, I'll leave you to look further. See you Thursday.
Okay I will have to go with my dealer tomorrow to check it out... Cammy why till Thursday?? Any events
Wodensday... devotions to Odin Alodofur.
CYA
Okay.. Love you

He'll be back!

Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2019 11:07 am

The web is woven just a little bit tighter... emphasis added.

Hello cammy
Hi Kevin. What's new?
I'm fine and you
It's all good.
How was your day
It was fine. Went to the gym, read a bit, that sort of thing.
That's nice
It's OK if you don't mind the stares and leers from the himbos and incels working out.
Ok
Have you eaten
Nah, I'm thinking of giving dinner a miss.
Maybe have a roll and butter a bit later.
Ok
So... how's the research going?
It's going fine..... I've asked 5 different car dealers and they gave the same price
Of...???
Of $45,000
Gotcha.
So that's settled?
Looks like.
Ok baby
Was that for the jeep?
No
Which one then?
That's for the Mercedes
Is that really the right car, all things considered?
It's the best
I wouldn't know about that. I suppose you're the SME. Now, let's have another look at your itinerary.
Some things have to go.
Jhalobia recreation park and gardens
Lekki conservation centre
Silverbird cinema and galleria
The ibeno beach
Inagbe grand resorts and leisure Lagos
Ikeja city mall
GET arena
Elegushi beach
Lekki leisure lake
Tarkwa bay beach
Hi impact planet
Nigerian national museum
National theater.
That Silverbird Cinema doesn't interest me, the same with the Ikeja City mall and the GET Arena.
Did you put those on the list because you want to make sure the peeps see you with a hot blonde?
No i didn't.... I just want you to have fun
Seriously, do you think we don't have cinemas and shopping malls in Sydney?
And a go-kart stadium... dullsville.
Ok.....let's take out the GET arena ,Ikeja city mall and the cinema
The theatre... not too sure.
I assume that Inagbe grand resorts and leisure is somewhere to stay at, not visit.
Yeah but it's also a place to visit
Why? What's to see there?
Well you're right
OK.
Is there any other thing you'd like to take out
Not at the moment.
Ok
Is there anything you'd like me to do Twisted Evil

Just give me a moment.
Ok
Are you there
Yes.
Ok
I was looking at Smartraveller for anything I need to ask you.
Ok
What are the rules about weapons there? Ownership and carrying and so on?
I don't know about that... Are you planning on bringing a weapon?
That's why I was asking. Roscoe managed to pull enough strings for me to have a pistol and carry permit here. It's fucking rare to be have that here, trust me.
But I have my doubts about being able to bring a pistol with me. As in major ones.
There's is no need for that... Since you're a foreigner they'll think otherwise in my country..... If it's protection you're scared of I've got that covered
How do you have that covered again?
I'll arrange for an officer as an escort

Bold move, that.

Huh?
You can do that?
Yes
You mean a rent-a-cop?
Yes
My mom has connections
Oh??
Yeah
Is that covered now
OK, sounds good.
You see I'll do anything for you

We'll see about that...

There's going to be some lead time before I can travel - vaccinations, getting the visa, and sending things you'll need, like the smartphone I mentioned, and maybe some other things.
Ok...that's ok
Oh bugger. I forgot it's my turn to take Snowdrop for a walk. Nicole just tossed the leash to me.
Ok.
I may be online later, not sure. CYA Saturday evening most likely.
Do you have a dog?
No i don't
Oh well.
Ok baby....bye love you

It's getting closer and closer to sending the gift package...

Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:48 am

There's a break in chat on Freyja-Day and most of Saturday. We resume around 2300 AEST on 7 June.

Missed call from kevin Jun 6, 8:41 PM
Hello cammy
Hello Cammy
Hi Kevin.
How are you doing
Why did you try to call me?
That was a mistake
I'll say. You should have known better.
Sorry about that
Also, you should have known better than have tried to contact me on Freyja-Day.
Again I'm sorry
I just dropped the message as an offline message
But the call was a mistake
OK, noted.
Have you eaten
Yes. Just something light. A chicken sandwich with mayonnaise.
That's nice
Anyway, it's late, and I'm sorry about that.
No problem

And on Sunday...

Hello cammy
G'day Kevin.
Oh, I thought you're online.
I'm online... Sorry for Late reply was cooking for mom
What's cooking then?
Nothing much just cooking spaghetti
What kind of sauce?
Tomato sauce
Just that?
Yeah...with some eggs and fish
Eggs? Not something I like, especially with spaghetti.
Why don't you
I just don't like eggs. That's all.
Ok
How are the preparations going
I got inoc'd yesterday. Feeling a bit hazy today, as expected. I'll see about the visa this week. Then we can see about the car and the phone and so on for you.
Oh, I meant to ask, what size shoes do you take?
Size 45
I take size 6, and my feet aren't that small!
Maybe the size measurement is different between our countries
Ya think?
I had a look. Size 45 is about size 10 over here.
Ok...
Actually 11 or 12. I should call you Bigfoot!
Lol...yeah....people say i have a very Bigfoot
Dress shoes or sneakers? Probably sneakers would be best.
Yeah.. Sneakers will do
OK. I'll have to dress down over there. Smartraveller advises modesty, which basically sucks, but hey, when in Rome, yada yada yada.
Lol
I can't wait to see you
That I believe.
Do you have any Starbucks in Nigeria?
No
What the next best thing? What are the food franchises?
I just love my coffee.
Our coffee here isn't as good as the one over there that I'm sure of
Well, maybe I'll check that.
Ok
We were talking about replacing your phone; what was the brand you had your eyes on?
The Samsung galaxy s10+
Gotcha.I'll have to go shopping.
Ok
Before it gets too late you'll have to put your arrival destination to Lagos
Huh? Don't you mean when I'm arriving?
Yes
I know I'm coming to Lagos!
Ok
What's a decent hotel? Please advise me.
When my brother came with his wife he lodged at a hotel called regia luxury and it's not far from where i stay
OK, I'll check that out.
Ok
I'm wondering how to get the money for the car to you.
That's just the problem.... But i have a Nigeria account
Bank account

Normally I'd accept a piggy, but I'm after a safari.

I've got a joint account with AJ and Cheryl and Nicole, and that's the only one I could use to send the money. They would notice!
My debit card account can't be used for transfers.
So how are you gonna do it
Exploring an idea. I'll have to think some more about it.
Ok
Oh, hang on. Roscoe's on Hangout on the other account.
Ok
I'd better catch up.
You wanna use his bank account?
No way! He wouldn't do it. ever.
Ok
CYA.

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:12 am

Birlic, you have PM.

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 6:29 am

Yeap, Roger! Very Happy

Your lad will receive some nice messages from the Shipping Company...

=== PACKAGE NOTIFICATION! ===

TRACKING CODE: 8V35REMVTVFMOB6U

Dear

=== your lad full name ===

A parcel has been allocated for delivery by the following customer:

=== your character full name ===

Please visit our web site at:

=== The shipping company website ===

and use the following code to track your parcel:

=== a long tracking number ===

If you are already our customer, you may go directly to our login page to track your package.

Please sign up using the email we have attached to your package!

The email on record for tracking code 8V35REMVTVFMOB6U is:

=== your lad's email address ===

Should you experience any difficulties, please contact Customer Care Department and reference the tracking number of your parcel in the "Subject" line (on the title) of the message.

Thank you for using our company, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service!

Claude Postumierre

Manager at Customer Care Department

This is an automatically generated message. In case of emergency, you can use my personal email address: === claude email address ===

===

He can track "his" parcel with that tracking number Laughing

...
I'll move the parcel on the map, according to our plans... we can put the package on the map... wherever we want it and when we want it! Laughing

I will need some details... see your PM.
===

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:10 am

Cammy just wrote to Kevin to ask for his address. I noticed something he'd written on Hangout after I'd closed down (emphasis added):

Quote:

If you're sending the money for the car are you also sending money for the papers
Ok....bye love you

Cammy will be asking about that tonight!

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:00 pm

Tonight's chat didn't go smoothly - my computer kept crashing.

Hello cammy
Hi Kevin.
How are you doing
I wasn't ignoring you. Problems with connectivity.
It may be OK now.
No problem
How are you doing
Pissed off with my laptop. It's not going right. I had to reboot.
Ok
How are you doing
I may have to buy a new one. You don't have a laptop, do you?
No i don't
What are some popular brands over there?
Well i know of apple and hp
Fair enough. Something else to look into.
Ok
How was your day
It went OK.
How about yours?
It's going okay I'm just bored
How come?
I'm alone at home
Nothing to read? Or watch?
Not really
Seriously?
Yes
I remember a Yuletide just a couple of years back when I was at a friend's place in South Australia. A whole bunch of us was in the kitchen (big kitchen) working on the food for the feast. A real hive of activity.
That's nice
In the middle of all the work being done, I looked up to see this girl named Sarah standing to one side and I saw her speaking, and she said, "Oh, I'm so bored, there's nothing to do!" I just froze in place (I was kneading dough) and looked around, and everyone had stopped, and we all looked at Ute, who was the organiser of the feast.
You remember I told you about Ute?
Yes i did
She's got a MASSIVE work ethic. Sarah had just said totally the wrong thing. We were waiting to Ute to react.
Lol
She picked up a bowl of apples and a peeler, strode across the kitchen and plunked them down in front of Sarah, and said, "Now you have something to do."
Lol
Sarah started peeling apples like her life depended on it.
Ute's like that.
A very fine soul, friend to everybody, but she can't stand slackers and idlers and wasters.
I sent the address already
My point is, she would tell you that the best cure for boredom is to go out and find something to do.
She's not wrong.
That's true
I sent the address already
I know you sent the address already.
I know you send the address already.
Ok
I want to ask
Twice? Not needed.
I want to ask
Are you sending the money along with the package?
Just to confirm, [email protected] is your current email address? No alternates?
And yes, sending the money in the package had crossed my mind.
Don't send the money with the package
Huh? What's wrong with that?
I was thinking you'll send to my account
I told you the problem with that!
Don't you remember?
Because the money can get stolen in Nigeria
That's why
Explain that.
Can you? I don't see an answer!
When you send it they'll want me to pay to receive the package at the end of the day there'll be nothing there
Who do you mean by "they"?
The delivery man
Delivery man??
FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
How are you sending it?
How would you do it? Options.
Electronics
Hold on... Are you with the money?? As in the cash?
Fucking computer froze again.
What's with that question?
Are you with the cash??
At the moment, no.
Why are you asking me that?
I suggest you cone with the cash while coming down to Nigeria
Then how are you going to buy the car before I arrive? That was the whole point!
Buying the car won't take long to purchase because I have a dealer
I wouldn't send the money in a fucking brown paper parcel marked MONEY AND VALUABLES PLEASE DON'T STEAL PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!1
I'd find a safe way to get it to you. Some safe courier service. Not the fucking post office!!!1
Possibly what courier service??
NFI. I haven't done that research yet.
Oh, question for you.
What's the question??
"If you're sending the money for the car are you also sending money for the papers" - what papers?
The license and the car's plate number..
How much would that be?
Apart from the car price, the amount is less... About $2k
Noted. I'm going. My computer sucks and I have a headache.

He'll need work.

Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:00 am

Back again tonight. It was a short session.

Hello cammy
Here's hoping I stay connected!
How are you doing
A bit tired, dunno why.
I'm sorry about that do you feel sick
Not sick, just tired.
Ok sorry about that
I'll have an early night.
Ok
Going back to last night - still not cleared up.
When exactly are you sending the package
Still things to get.
Ok
Maybe early next week.
I'll suggest you send only the package and bring the money when you're coming to Nigeria
Carrying a large sum of cash on me is going to be noticed, and that won't go well.
Airport scanners would spot it. There would be questions.
Ok.....can you smuggle it with the package?
They won't be scanned the same.
How
As I understand it, the scan grids in airports are a lot more intrusive because they're set to prevent hijackings and so on. Freight planes aren't as important.
Bugger, have to get back to you, late dinner. CYA
Ok bye

Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:49 am

Cammy can say something like:

- Airplanes carrying parcels are not so controlled as they land on separate lanes... and because all these "comercial" parcels are stored in special warehouses, outside airports.
- Some of the parcels are too large to be scanned, so the general comercial practice is to keep them away from the airport's civil areas (areas where passengers are waiting).
- So, there is no risk related to passenger safety!

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:38 am

^ Thanx for the tips; I'll use those when the time comes to tell Kevin that the package has been lodged with the company.

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:08 pm

Things were a bit turbulent, but ended up quite promising!

Hello cammy
Hi Kevin.
How are you doing
All's well.
And you?
I'm okay
Kewl.
So about the discussion yesterday
Which bit?
About bringing the money??
I thought that was it.
Go on, then.
I was thinking about it throughout.. Sending the money via courier isn't safe because based on the information I got from an agent, it might be seized and I wouldn't want that to happen
Who's this agent?
How does he know that?
I hope it isn't because he's been pinching stuff!
Not about that cammy
About what, then?
He said similar thing happened to his friend.. And he wouldn't want that to happen as this is your first visit to my country and also meeting with me
Oh, fuck! You told him you might be getting a package, and what might be in it?
No cammy not that.. I asked him if it was possible to receive money sent via courier service
I didn't tell him about the package
Ha! You might as well have told him outright.
Then again, you wouldn't know about operational security, need to know, all that.
So how do we beat your security over there??
Would you say you coming here for a business related purpose??
Do I look like a businesswoman, dewd?
I guess that would work...
And a reputable businesswoman wouldn't be doing business in cash.
You didn't read my answer.
Its not a must you look like a businesswoman, its just to have the money pass through their security operation
But what do you suggest we do??
I have a lead on a courier company that might be what we're looking for. It doesn't deliver to your doorstep, which is what you feared.
If its doorstep delivery, I'm not afraid to receive that cause it will be more convenient
If you'd ask me, bringing the money along with you would be preferred
The problem is that I can't call the company. I have to work through email only.
From what you said, delivery to your doorstep would be the dangerous part. Their way, you go to their depot and collect it. You could take the agent you mentioned for security.
Its risky as you said, and we can't afford to take such risks
Exactly. We agree on something.
Cammy if its getting the car upon your arrival, that is certain... Because once the cash is available, we can get the car the same day... The main issue is how to maneuver thing there at the airport
Which was why I brought up the business related purpose idea
Wait, I thought you agreed with me.
"The main issue is how to maneuver thing there at the airport" - huh?
I mean how do we answer the questions they'll ask...
Do have any idea of what questions they'll ask??
If something goes wrong in Sydney, trip's over. If something goes wrong in Lagos... I'm getting a Midnight Express vibe, but much worse.
"Why are you taking so much cash overseas?"
How do I answer that?
That's a very simple answer.. Its for a business related purpose...
Oh, now totally fucking simple!
Actually foreigners do come down to our country for business
And I'm on a tourist visa!
I'm not saying its that simple
Yeah and I'm aware...
Brilliant idea. NOT.
Whoa!
Now what do we do??
Plan A, not Plan B.
Plan A, being??
Your plan has two points where things can go wrong, and badly. That's Plan B.
Okay?? So what assurance do we have that the plan A will go through??
My plan is Plan A. If you go to collect the package with your guard friend, it'll be fine.
And be constructive!
That's what I'm saying, it will be searched and if such amount is found, it will be confiscated
That's what I'm trying to avoid
What makes you think it'll be searched?
Its a normal regulation here
Dewd, I know that security is tight as a mouse's butthole these days. If I try to carry cash, I'll be caught. Do you want that.
You're talking customs, right?
I don't plan for that cammy..
Yes sort of
Do they search every single fucking parcel?
Of course..
I don't believe that.
When precisely do you plan to get the visa??
I've already sent the application.
Tourist visa, like I said
Are you sure the courier service will work out??
What courier service is that??
Don't be so fucking negative!
For every solution there's a problem seems to be your motto!
Okay
You really don't trust me, do you? You see the hair and the boobs and you think I'm a bimbo, an airhead.
You think I can't make a decision.
I don't like that.
I'm not like that.
I do trust you.. My only concern is for you not to lose that trust in me
How could that happen?
I know you're not like that... I'm avoiding being blamed for something I know nothing of cammy
What do you mean?
Okay I have idea, not sure if it will work??
Go on. I'm all ears (LOL SMH)
Okay... So here's the thing... Do you by any chance known of a PlayStation??
I mean the ps4 pro 1tb??

Wait, is he actually about to suggest...

It's a video game console or something like that. I think. Why would you mention that?

He does!

Now we're heading somewhere... How about you unscrew the console, and then place the money inside... That way, they won't have any idea that a huge some is in there?
What about what's inside? The circuit boards and so on?
It won't affect that.. Its just the matter of putting the money safely inside it when you unscrew it
We're talking 50K. That's 500 x 100 dollar notes. Is there enough room in those things?
There is...
Just the matter scattering the sum inside
I did a google image search, but it doesn't show exactly how large it is.
I hope you're right.
Something else to get.
Anyhoo, shower and bed. CYA!

So... a phone, a laptop, a Playstation, and a pair of shoes. Is that bulky enough, Birlic?

(Edited to add italics)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:44 pm

^^^Good luck fitting that in there

https://nl.ifixit.com/Teardown/PlayStation+4+Pro+Teardown/72946

It might be a test of some sort, to see if you are 'for real'? Not sure how hooked he is?

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:07 pm

^ Many thanks, BertjeAass. Cammy will go shopping tomorrow and get puzzled about how to fit the money inside a Playstation, especially after she sees one of them opened for inspection.

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:16 pm

Yastreb wrote:

So... a phone, a laptop, a Playstation, and a pair of shoes. Is that bulky enough, Birlic?

Nope, it's not okay! Laughing

The package must remain very valuable, even after the money will be stolen, so we can try a second safari. Right?
So, if we want the idiot to travel with his "boyfriend," then we should have at least:
- 2 x Iphone (the most expensive model)
- 2 x laptop (it's good to ask him to know what model he wants)
- 2 x playstation
- 1 gold chain (something massive), 1 expensive men's watch, a pair of diamond shirt buttons, a massive bracelet made of gold.

Later edit:

I have an idea... you will put in your package also a large enough and bulky printer. You will hide the money in the printer paper tray. There is enough space for a pack of 100 A4 sheets, so your money can be hidden there.

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:24 pm

^^^

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:56 pm

Be sure to ask what color iPhone he wants, and if he wants to get a phone case too. Maybe send him a bunch of designs and ask which pattern he would like better. Will he want some controllers for the Playstations? If he's more of a Nintendo person, you could also send him a Nintendo Switch, or just send him both; for both of these options you could send him a few games. Since the Playstation is a bit older, Cammy could worry that he won't have as much fun. You can hide the watch inside one of the game cases just to be safe.

I think it would be hilarious later in the process, during the safari, for Joojoo to tell the lad that he spent a few hours playing Playstation/Nintendo Switch/Xbox with his buddies and beat all the video games inside; the last thing a starving lad would want to hear is how Joojoo's really good at Call of Duty.

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:00 pm

Play the long game – tell him you have bought a playstation, opened it up – only to find that you need more space for the money – then play the printer angle …

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:58 am

Those are all very excellent ideas, and gratefully received. I'll spring them on Kevin this evening. He should be properly thankful for all the work that Cammy's done for him.
So, the new list, with prices (AUD, not USD, but Kevin need not know)

2 x iPhones (Samsung Galaxy S10) - 2300.00
2 x Laptops (Microsoft Surface Book 2 13.5 Inch - i7) - 5100.00
1 x Playstation - 600.00
1 x Printer (replaces one Playstation) - 400.00
1 gold chain (BVLGARI) - 1500.00
1 BVLGARI Solotempo watch - 6250.00
1 pair diamond earstuds - 1800.00
Massive gold bracelet - 1800.00

Total - 19,750.00

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:42 am

Hmm, and in tonight's chat, the asshole displays a major hard-on for Fedex, while Cammy raises the temperature just a little bit...

Hello cammy
G'day there Kevin.
How are you doing
Let's just say that I'm not happy with you right now.
Care to know why>
Why
Yes please
That Playstation idea?
BIG Fail.
You said I wouldn't have to strip the components out.
Ain't so, dewd.
Have you gotten it already
Yes. I suppose I can still send it, cos I don't want it, and no-one I know would want it.
Compared with the rest of what's on the list, no big deal.
Ok...so how are you going to put the money in the package
I have an idea, means some more shopping, but it's a good one.
I'd like to know please
I thought you'd never ask.
Lol....tell me
A printer. The paper trays can hold the money,
How kewl is that?
That's brilliant.... But Don't make it visible
It makes perfect sense with the laptops.
Yeah.....don't make it visible
Like... DUHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
And use FedEx

Better change the subject...

Something I noticed in those pix you send me...
Apart from your thongs.
Which one
That bling you've got. It's got to be real.
So I'm looking after that.
No it's not real
What I meant was, if you're going to be with me, you have to look classy.
Good stuff.
Actual gold. Gold is sacred to Freyja.
I wear gold. So should you.
And a good watch.
Yes that sounds awesome
Glad you think so.
Yeah
Send all the package using FedEx
I can't go shopping tomorrow, so it'll have to be Saturday, and keeping all this from the others is getting on my nerves. I don't like tell lies. There's only so many ways to cover up what I'm buying.
Like with the iPhones. I don't use one, far less two.
Laptops, not such a problem.
Ok
But I'll get it done.
Which did you get me
Which what?
Phone
What you asked for. Samsung S10 or whatever the Hel.
Ok cammy
Did you get the last message i sent
Wait one.
Send all the package using FedEx

Another distraction is called for.

I hope this doesn't spoil your image of me, but I have to go to the toilet like anyone else.
Oh, and that reminds me.
If things go as I'm sure you like them to, I don't do anal. EVER. You got that?
Yes
Also, condoms. If it's not on, it's not on. You got that?
And I've got the right to set the ground rules. I'm the Older Woman here, after all!
Yes
Lol...ok
Let the package be delivered to my doorstep
Anyhoo, dinner time. Cheryl's made lasagna. I love lasagna.
CYA!

I'm worried that he'll spit the dummy when he learns about PethLog.

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 2:42 pm

^^^ LOL!

You will say that you first tried to bring his parcel to a DHL office, but the employee there laughed at you when he heard you wanted to send a HVC (high value content) parcel in Nigeria (our idiot is nigerian, right?). That employee has tried to insinuate that everything is a fucking fraud / scam, so you're very annoyed and screamed / cursed / hit his head with your umbrella. Of course, everything ended at the police station. After that, you chose the other shipping company (PithLog), where you were treated very well.

Do not forget to emphasize that you will pay all the additional costs:
- transport,
- manipulation
- customs fees, etc.
Tell him you also paid insurance for the parcel and tell him that the hidden money inside must be a big secret!
He is not allowed to say anything about money, because if someone (the customs authorities) find out about it, the money will be confiscated / serious criminal charges.
Also tell him that he has nothing to pay! All he has to do is present a valid identity document to the delivery agent.

Please do not hurry to send the parcel these days, because I'm going to Istanbul tonight.
I will come back Monday night, so we can start on Tuesday.
Tuesday, I'll "create" a tracking number that can be tracked in real time... I'll give you all the details you need to tell to your idiot. Okay?

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