Papa don't preach => Luke is back

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Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 4:45 pm

It looks like my little friend is playing a game himself as well Laughing

On the other hand, he has been pretty quiet the last few days. Maybe it’s an act, or he has other stuff to do while Mabel recovers enough to come to cameroon. Who knows.

Saturday May 11
0:36 What's Going on? Where are you? I missed you
10:35 Hello am sick very sick thats why couldn't reply you

….. yup… looks pretty sick to me if you’re at the barber shop.
12:40 So sorry to hear that. I hope you feel more better now
18:26 Miss you. Where are you?
21:33 Hey baby miss you too

pretty sick, drinking Heineken…. here we call that stuff horsep… nvm, you get the idea Laughing

He also sent a >>>Video<<<
If the Heineken didn’t do the trick this might’ve been the thing that got him sick. So what else can Mary really answer to that?
23:33 Oh hottie that is smokin hot. What are you having? I wanna join. Glad to see you're doing better. Did you send the papers to Dave today? She was here this morning but didn't receive it yet then

Sunday May 12
11:08 Smoking some gum ball, sorry i got all the papers ready i will send them now to her .how are you how was your night hope your doing good was very sleepy yesterday thats why i couldn't reply
12:47 I know all about sleepy. I sleep so much. Did you have pancakes? I'm really excited about starting a new church and working in it together. Dave will come by later today. I'll tell her you have the papers finished. Love Mary
13:01 yes already had pancakes baby yeah will get her papers soon
13:33 Do you have ideas yet for the church? I love music, maybe you know some people for the choir
14:41 YEAH, have will prepare a good choir because its the main thing in the church
16:11 Can you lead a choir? I love music. What's your favourite Hymn?
17:26 No,its hard for like phaslm What??
18:01 Which one? There are like 150 of those

Monday May 13

13:40 Luke to Dave wrote:

Hello sorry for the delay with all papers i tried doing it my own way

>>>The written form<<<

There are so many things wrong with this that it is hilarious. He lies about absolutely everything, but let’s not make too big of a deal about that. I want to move on, not stand still forever to get a few forms more accurate…. and what does Sister Dave really know about the relationship…. Right, only the truth that Mary wrote on her forms, that would be completely different from what he wrote Laughing

Anyway, I think he’s too dim to realize this, and I’m going to let it slide. Might become a problem later, who knows..

13:42 Hey baby i sent dave the papers i tried my best baby
13:44 So glad to hear that. Missed you bunches
13:48 Miss you too how was your night
16:07 Lonely. you never replied anymore and I was worried about you. I thought you stopped loving me. How are you today? You never told me your favorite psalm
16:13 No baby how can i stop loving just that i wasn't too well and slept off baby phalsm 101 ,am doing good today and you how long you have to be with me
16:15 Can you sing it for me? I love your voice
16:24 Will do that when your here with me my voice is bad now (maybe that stuff he smoked)
16:36 No dear your voice can never be bad for me. When I hear it my world lights up, I get all warm inside. It makes me so happy

16:52 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

Thank you for sending me this form back. It's not really important that you can't draw, it's most important that you're honest about all questions. I will forward these to reverend Greenham for you and he'll evaluate them. Did you remember filling out the membership form for reverend Greenham? He's still waiting for it and he's eager to bring you in touch with Cardinal Adrian to start working on the new church. Please send that one back to me as soon as you can.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

16:55 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Thank you very much am.about to send the form to him have a nice day

17:56 Okay will sing a special song for you okay baby
17:32 Wow thank you so much. What song will you sing
19:46 A love song
23:18 Oh, it's a surprise. When will you send it to me? I want to listen to you every night before I go to sleep

Tuesday May 14
11:20 Honey how are you? You hardly ever message me anymore. I'm worried
11:39 Hey baby
How are you?
Sorry i am admitted in the hospital now baby i collapsed last night and woke up in hospital but don't worry am feeling better now you know i love you and always will
How surprising…. most of the lads always get sick at some point
11:42 Oh no, now I'm even more worried. You should drink much water. Please make a picture for me, I want to see if you are well taken care of
11:45 Okay will do that baby i just got some medicine but am good to go now i want you here baby with me
11:47 I want that too. I have a doctors checkup later today. I'll ask them if I'm allowed to travel already. I want to be with you. What medicine did they give you?
11:56 Okay there gave me lots of medicine baby take care let me go to laboratory so they carry out final test on me will be with you shortly
12:35 I don't know that kind of medicine. Can you be more specific? Please make a picture for me. I need to see how you are now and that you are well taken care of
15:06 hey baby am out of the lab i took 2 drips and will be going home soon baby will send you pic when am home
Apparently we dodged this subject by asking a few questions that were too difficult for the doctor Laughing

15:30 Oh. Ok. Ik glad to hear you can go home again. Did they take good care of you?
15:48 yes baby i did ,did you go to the hospital yet?
15:52 What did you do? (he said “i did”)
16:01 TOOK SOME 2 DRIPS AM ABOUT GOING HOME WHEN I WILL BE HOME WILL SEND YOU PICS
16:02 OK!
16:09 yeah baby.... talkative dude
18:11 The doctor just told me that I need to rest longer, because I'm still dizzy. I'm not even allowed yet to go to school, so I'm stuck here for a while. I'm so sad

18:43 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

Please submit the form for Reverend Greenham. You promised to send it to him last week and he says he still didn't receive it from you. It is only one page so it shouldn't be too much of an effort.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

He will know that having bloods sent to the lab and then being treated with medication by drip is the usual treatment for more serious malaria. He probably thinks everyone knows that and he doesn't need to explain. Very Happy

Posted: Fri May 17, 2019 7:23 pm

^^^At some point they all get malaria

Tuesday May 14

18:46 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Hi Dave
Sorry for delay with the form am from the hospital faited yesterday but am fine now just feeling sleepy but will forward him it now
Thank you

18:47 Thats bad baby am crying and it's not good for my health baby why did the doctor say that i miss you baby
19:02 He said that because of my health and it's not safe to travel yet. You promised to show me how you are and you promised to sing for me. I'm so sad today. I want to be with you.
19:50 Am so sad thats why i haven't done nothing since i came back from the hospital i wasn't able to do anything am so sad
20:03 Me too but we have to stay positive dear please make me happy
20:04 You know i always want you to be happy when i feel a litle bit better tomorrow will send you imgaes and video
20:20 You promised to send me your picture today. I need to see if you're ok
20:28 Okay baby am okay but i want you to be happy so i will make the picture for o
You okay don't be worried
20:51 thank you love. I'm really worried about you

Wednesday May 15

14:17 Reverend Greenham to Luke wrote:

Dear brother Luke,
It has been a week ago now that I have sent you the membership application form. Sister Dave told me that you have made several promises the last week to send it back, but failed to do so. I am still waiting for this, as the founding of a new church in Cameroon is a long desired wish of mine and I want to move forward with this project. A lot of money is involved and I have already cleared it, so I'm ready to move forward if you are.

Blessings,
Reverend Greenham

17:43 Are you still alive?
19:35 No am dead whats the meaning of that <= Funny dude

19:57 Luke to Reverend Greenham wrote:

Hello rev Greenham am sorry for delay
But i have form available sorry i wasn't my best health

>>>The membership application<<<

19:58 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Hey Dave i sent form do rev Greenham

20:20 Hahaha you funny man. I didn't hear from you for so long. It was just a joke ok. How are you?
20:33 Slept off and woke up pretty late today and was still dizzy am sorry for not texting you how are you i sent rev Greenham the copy today
21:28 Are you feeling a bit better now? So happy to hear you sent the form. Did you have some ideas for the church yet, besides the choir?
21:30 Yeah we can build up a new church house set up womens group,mens group and youths group
21:57 wow, you're smart, can you lead those groups? I want to learn
22:01 Yeah that won't be now that will be when the church has began
22:11 Of course. Do you have some people yet that will help us?
22:17 That will be no issues baby i will look for a way i need a favour from you (guess what….)
22:21 What is it honey? Please tell me
22:23 Couldn't buy all the drugs please can you help me send me some money please via money gram
22:25 I wish I could dear, but I'm not even allowed to leave the house
22:27 You can ask Dave sure she will help you
22:28 Oh, of course. So smart of you dear. I'll ask her when she visits me tomorrow. What kind of medicine do you need? You never even told me what sickness you have now. Can it be cured? You promised to send me a picture so I can see you are ok
22:32 Okay thank you very much baby i had fever but didn't have money to buy drugs am not feeling okay so if you can send me the money i will buy the drugs thank you
Let her send via money gram not western union please okay let her send via this names
Name:<snipped, but slightly different spelling (noticed this before, but this is the right moment to slap him for lying>
Country:Cameroon
23:35 Thought your name was luke. why do you write lake? How much do you need and what's the sickness? You still didn't send me the picture
23:40 Lake is the correct one don't usually like telling people that i need about 500 or 1000$ also have some depths to cover here told you i had (fever) will get you pic please let Dave help me will really appreciate thanks please use money gram not western union
23:53 So why did you tell me it was Luke? Didn't you trust me? Now I'm sad
23:56 Am sorry never meant to make you be sad wanted to know you better before telling you but thats the only thing i lied about okay my love you know i want you happy right

Thursday May 16

10:13 Reverend Greenham to Luke wrote:

Dear brother Luke,

Thank you for sending me this form. I have to say I'm very pleased with what I have seen from you so far. You seem like a devoted young man, eager to lead those around you on a brand new path. The next step in the confirmation of your membership is the "Proof of Faith Picture". All new members have to make this.
Please print out this sign that you can find attached. Hold it in front of you, while standing outside in bright daylight and have someone make a picture of yourself. Please send this back to me as soon as you can so we can proceed with the founding of our new church.

Blessings,
Reverend Greenham

13:25 Luke to rev. Greenham wrote:

Hello Rev Greenham
How are you today hope fine,i will get it printed out and get you picture of it,whats name of the church back there ?

Thank you

13:27 Hey,how are you? How was your night hope your doing fine

13:29 rev. Greenham to Luke wrote:

Dear brother Luke,
The name of the church is Eater church and we are proud to have you be part of it soon. Your name is one of a priest, like you were already chosen for this task long before you came on our path. We thank God for his wisdom and guidance.

Blessings,
Reverend Greenham

13:48 Luke to rev. Greenham wrote:

Glory be to God

14:29 No I'm not ok. I slept like shit and I'm tired now
14:30 So sorry baby hope your not mad at me
14:33 You lied to me and I've been crying all the time
14:38 Am sorry didn't mean to hurt you this way please forgive me
15:21 Then show me that you love me and finally sent me that song you promised
15:42 Okay i will sent to you did Dave come yet?
15:43 yes but I couldn't talk I was too upset
15:45 Thats bad am sorry now i am upset
16:05 Maybe you should've thought of that before you lied to me
16:16 Am sorry if you cant forgive me and help me with all i have done for you then bye
16:19 You promised to sing a song for me. I want to be happy again
16:24 Dont have energy to sing when you have decided to help me with money we deal okay baby love you
16:25 I promised to do that but I could do nothing but cry since you told me, so I couldn't ask Dave yet. I will though
16:37 ask her now Mary your making me lost trust in you
16:46 I wasn't the one that lied. She'll be here again tomorrow. I'll ask her then. I have to be careful because I think jack is listening in on my calls
17:00 okay when she comes tomorrow let her do it you can text her right so do so please
17:11 You're a bit pushy. I promised you to do it and you promised to send me a song
17:19 promise
17:27 When?
18:17 Its already night here
18:23 Ok. I'll wait for tomorrow morning then. Are you feeling more better now?
18:24 Am better now baby and you hope you are too
18:26 No I'm not. I'm still sad that you don't trust me
18:29 Trust you mary just that i didnt know you by that time
18:39 But now you do and you said it again today
18:41 I said it today because you made me angry i trust you know do you trust me
20:49 How did I make you angry? Because I was crying? I trust you. I wouldn't come to Cameroon and give up everything here if I didn't trust you. I want to build this church together with you
20:52 You were crying and you were not feeling fine so i wasn't happy with you for that and what you did,you didn't tell Dave to do transfer
20:53 But I will tomorrow when you have made me happy again with that song you promised me. I tried to call Dave, but she's not there today, they said she's at the orphanage the rest of the day, but she'll come by again tomorrow
20:57 Okay baby will send you song tomorrow thats a promise okay don't be sad hope your happy
21:09 Ok, I will be happy again tomorrow.

Friday May 17
12:13 Hello baby how are you
14:02 A little better but you still didn't send my song. Dave will come over in a few hours. How are you today?
14:09 Will send video baby soon okay,am doing better
14:43 Ok, I'm so happy to hear that dear

>>>Video1<<<
>>>Video2<<<

He’s doing something that should look like singing. And he’s flashing of his bling. Very smart when you’re pretending to be poor and begging for money Laughing

20:13 Love you dear. You're so sexy. I asked Dave and she'll see what she can do for you. You look so hot
20:14 So when will she send the money am not getting any better
20:16 Don't know but you're looking pretty good. She promised to let me know tomorrow.
20:33 Thanks very much hope your happy now
20:41 Very happy, just want you to feel better soon. Did you talk to reverend Greenham about the new church yet?
20:49 Yes he sent me some image that i should take a photo of it me on it so will do that when you send me money
21:07 What does that have to do with it? I told you I asked Dave. Why are you not moving forward with the church? Are you not serious about starting a church in Cameroon? I have already been looking for information for sunday school lessons for children. I'll tell Dave not to send you anything if you don't want to move through with this. It's like you don't want to work towards our future
21:09 I have to scan papers and get him what he wants thats what i said i needed money for
21:20 You said you only needed to make a photo, you don't need money to do that, so show me that you're serious about this

I really want to move forward with the church part of the story, but Luke is waiting till the ship of gold is recovered and coming to him.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2019 10:11 pm

Sell the bling to buy the medicine, because you are not getting Moneygram money transfer, might get western union one?
Linoline, you are the expert work it my friend

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Oh, and isn't he supposed to be a doctor? Even in Cameroon, I'm sure doctors can afford to buy their own drugs. Very Happy

Posted: Sat May 18, 2019 10:13 am

What is he 'singing'.... My foot's inside?

Posted: Sat May 18, 2019 7:08 pm

^^^I have no idea what he is singing but he's making a fool of himself so it's fine with me Laughing

Some doctor... Rolling Eyes

Friday May 17
21:23 He sent me an image which i have to prunt it out into the hard copy if your not sending money its fine your happy you got video right
22:10 am sending you money, You need to understand that I want to build a future with you together
22:29 I know and i want that too and am trying my best to make that happen
22:51 Thank you honey, that really means a lot to me
22:56 For nothing baby
22:59 What do you mean for nothing?
23:10 Its night am about sleeping
23:12 Goodnight
And just when I thought he had no clue about the timezones, I think he noticed the time gmail put in my replies.... But Mary has an IT guy and I'm sure he set up some European VPN for safety or something. In case he asks.
23:13 What says your time
23:24 Early evening
23:42 Okay tomorrow then sleep tight

Saturday May 18
A disappointing day for our lad

11:38 Hello how are you baby
12:40 I'm ok honey. How are you? Did you hear from Dave? I asked her to contact you directly about the money. Did you send that picture to reverend Geenham yet?
12:45 Hello fine now she didn't contact me yet will send him picture today let her contact me tell her please
13:43 Ok. I'll send her a message to ask her to contact you.

14:44 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hello Levis,

Mary asked me to send you some money for medicines. I would really love to help you, but as secretary of our church, I am not allowed to send money to noon members. I tried to plead with reverend Greenham, but he said protocols don't allow it. I advice you to move forward with the membership application process so that we will be able to support you financially.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

17:53 Did you hear from her yet? Hope you can get the medicines now. Love you.

Posted: Sun May 19, 2019 5:54 pm

Linoline, my popcorn bowl is ready to see your next chapter, GOD BLESS YOU Laughing

Posted: Sun May 19, 2019 6:43 pm

I have been poking him a few times, but he's still silent. I think the disappointment is too much for the lad, but no despair yet, if he gives up on the church I can always move on with the "Mary is recovered and comes to Cameroon" part of the story. We'll see in the next few days

Posted: Sun May 19, 2019 7:35 pm

Move the scammers, but ask them who will Win the champions league LIVERPOOL OR GAY SPURS, ask the scammers, you do play them..one day I be like you, scam the scammer

Posted: Wed May 22, 2019 2:14 pm

More pokes and he came back, but he wasn't happy. Let's play a mind trick to make him more miserable.

Saturday May 18
17:53 Did you hear from her yet? How you can get the medicines now. Love you.

Sunday May 19
10:21 How are you. You never responded anymore
15:14 Where are you? What's going on?
20:40 Honey, I'm getting worried, please send me a message

Monday May 20
13:58 Luke please respond. I'm worried about you and need to know you're ok
18:41 Please honey. I hate it here. You're the only one making me happy. I need you

Tuesday May 21
Just when I thought he gave up, a message appeared
16:08 Hey mary
Dave told me she couldn't sent money and am sick now and since you can't help me i was looking for a way to help myself and to be sincere with you i dont think you really do care about me but still i have one thing i want you to do for i want you to i want you to scan one of my pictures any one you choose hold it and take a pic with it and send to me do it by end of today okay so i will be waiting have a nice day
ooooh... emotional blackmail. Let's see
16:38 I am so happy to finally hear from you again. I was so worried. I thought you left me. I talked with Dave again today to please help you and she talked to reverend Greenham again. She just told me that they will send you a package with laptops and phones, so you have resources to start the church and I will put money in the parcel to help, I'll just tell her I wrote a love letter for you in the envelope, she doesn't have to know.
16:40 Okay good scan my picture and go to your mirror and hold the picture and take a photo and send to me
16:42 That's humiliating, I'm not doing it again
16:45 You will do it because i asked you too please and want it today sorry for being rude if you don't do it will not participate in church again
16:47 No I will not do it. It's humiliating. I made a picture for you with a sign with your name and you did as well. I'm not asking you to do it again and I will not do it again. How am I supposed to get the money to you if the church don't send that parcel? You know I don't have another option right now
16:58 Okay then since you can't do it i can't also Mary Landbourg its okay now
17:12 Oh my god seriously?
17:17 Yeah
18:07 I would've expected differently of you. Did I ask you to make pictures holding signs again? No, because I love you and I believe you. I can't believe how you are hurting me right now. I thought you loved me.
18:37 Sorry i love but you need to respect me when you feel you can do it let me know i love you
True love, and I love the way he treats the woman he loves
19:02 I'll tell Dave you don't want to start the church anymore and not to send you anything and forget about the whole thing. This is emotional blackmail and Benny did enough of that and I won't have it anymore. I can't send you money right now any other way than with that package. If you really want to end it like this you're not a man, but a bully.
23:27 You really were serious? You're going to leave me over this?

Looks like tough guy really wanted some reassurance. I started looking for material right away and with a big thanks to Coffinsurfer I got exactly the picture he requested. Thank you, your work is amazing!

Wednesday May 22
13:50 Happy now?
15:03 Hello how are you doing got the picture thanks very much,sorry just wanted to see you holding my pic it wasn't any big deal okay hope your okay
15:04 It was a big deal. It's humiliating and I had to make sure Jack wouldn't notice
15:07 Am sorry just wanted to see you holding my pic sorry please understand okay didn't mean it that harsh
My turn to be mean and show him who's in charge Twisted Evil

15:34 You did because you refused to talk to me if I didn't do it. It's emotional blackmail. You acted just like my shithead ex did. I already told Dave you're not interested in the church anymore so what do you expect now?
15:38 Sorry but i had reasons for that, now you will have no one,no way to send me the money how will you send it i said i wasn't interested in the church because you denied sending me the pic i asked but i sent you everything you asked so i was angry
15:52 I don't know how to send it now, but you didn't want to talk to me anymore and I told that to Dave. That's not my fault. It's what you chose. So what do you want right now?

I like to imagine him beating his head against some wall now

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 1:54 pm

Wednesday May 22
16:21 You tell me what you can do baby i just want us to be happy together and now i need your help desperately please give davethe money and let her send to me tell her am still 100% with the church okay
16:25 Then maybe you should apologize to her and explain what happened. Maybe she didn't tell reverend Greenham yet. I still want to come to you and I want to help you, so I have no problem sending you the money, but I have no other way right now then to do it in that parcel they wanted to send you
16:31 Please tell her it was a prank please she will understand you more better than me i will pleaae baby i know you can do it
16:54 I believe I did exactly what you said already and if you want to fix this you need to explain to her or she'll think I'm bipolar
17:04 Okay baby you know i love you i will explain to her what happened and let her know am in 100%
17:16 Yes I know but you hurt me badly by what you did. Please try to fix this with her
17:18 Am very sorry hope you find a way to forgive me
17:20 I already did, I'm just hurt
17:54 Will make it up to you (So nice of him to bring this up Laughing

)
17:35 How?

17:18 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Hello Dave how are you today sorry for the misunderstanding i and mary had that lead to the decision i took am still with the church if you guys are ready am ready

21:12 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

I understand. Lovers sometimes have a quarrel, nothing to worry about. I am glad to hear that you are still with us and I hope you have worked everything out with Mary. I didn't tell reverend Greenham yet, so there's no problem at all, you can proceed with the membership process by sending him your application picture.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

21:14 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Okay thank you very much i will send him the application picture first thing tomorrow thank you we are cool now nothing to worry about

21:15 Hey baby
Dave didn't tell rev greenham anything yet thank God ,i will make it up to you in any way you want (Good answer, lets see how much he wants to do to receive a little cash)

21:19 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

It makes me happy to hear that you both worked it out again. You have been such a good influence on Marylately. I'll tell reverend Greenham that he can expect your message tomorrow.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

21:20 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Really am happy to hear that even though we argue and quarrel i still love her

22:42 Wow, I'm surprised she didn't tell him, but also very glad. I'll send you $25.000 in the parcel they are going to send, so you will have enough to find a nice place to live for us. I hope that is enough for rent for the first few weeks until I'm with you
I know how you can make it up to me. Show me some dance moves on this song https://youtu.be/GeZZr_p6vB8 And all will be forgotten.

Thursday May 23
9:25 Hey baby sorry i slept off yes that will be enough to get us a place and do some other stuffs before you come how was you night hope good i will do the dance video for you okay
Love you
9:42 No problem. I sleep at the weirdest times always so I understand. Make it look sexy.
11:39 Okay baby anything for you
13:55 Looking forward to it. Hope you are ok

15:53 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

Unfortunately reverend Greenham told me he didn't receive anything from you yet when I asked about it. Did something go wrong with sending him a message?

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 7:03 pm

Linoline, which West Africa country will Mary land in and need that scammer to go and meet her in a 5 star hotel, good luck my friend and the time you give in your life to waste time for the scammers and save others getting scammed. Thank you

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 5:05 pm

Thursday

16:26 Luke to sister Dave wrote:

i lost the copy of the picture he sent to me to print it out i have to print out another and send to him

16:29 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hi Luke,

I will send the document to you again.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

16:31 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

okay thank you i got the document will print it out and send to him what he required

Friday May 24
12:07 Honey, where are you?
12:25 Hey my love how are this morning

>>>Luke doing his sexy dance<<<

14:04 Ooooh that's so sexy. Thank you honey. Can't wait to get my hands on you
14:08 Neither can i baby am glad you like the video
15:02 I don't like it. I love it. Makes me all warm looking at it. Did you solve things with Dave now?
15:04 Yeah everything will be solved maximum soon baby
15:17 What do you mean? How will you solve it with her?
16:35 Get pic to rev greenham
16:44 Oh, I see, did you do that? Can I see it?
17:04 Looking for someone to take a picture of me with it now i already have it
17:24 Can't you use a mirror?
(I know it was supposed to be done outside, but I'm tired of the delays, I want to move forward, so I decided to cut him some slack
17:38 I forgot i will use the mirror
18:05 Ok good. Do you have people there yet to help you with three church?
18:16 Yes i have people already there just have to send me some funds which i will use and start up things
18:30 I told you I would. I'm waiting till Dave will send that parcel. You need to tell me when it is so I can ask her to pick up the envelope. I don't want it to lie around there too long for somebody to find. So you need to tell me when Dave will be sending it to you
18:37 Okay i will ask Dave and let rev greenham and let you know

18:40 Luke to Reverend Greenham wrote:

Hello Rev Greenham good day i was praying and fasting and asking God to forgive me before i can begin with the church now am fully ready and whats the next step

18:43 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

I sent Rev Greenham everything now whats the next step

Doesn't he look happy and celestial? Laughing

18:47 Thank you honey, make sure you tell me on time, so I have the chance to give her the envelope

What's next? Cardinal Adrian, aka Birlic of course Laughing

Please don't make your messages too long and complicated, I think his brain will shut down

19:11 Reverend Greenham to Luke wrote:

Dear brother Luke,

Thank you very much for sending these pictures to me. I want to officially welcome you as a new member of our Eater church. I forgive you for sending these to me too late, because it was a wise decision to fast and pray before commencing such an important task. I see a big faith in you and I think you will be a true and valuable asset to our Eater church in Africa.
I spoke to Cardinal Adrian about you already recently and he thinks very highly of you as well. He even mentioned the possibility for you to become Bisshop of Africa, would you desire such a prestigious position. Of course you will be rewarded considerably and abundantly for that.
Enough said. I am going to officially introduce you to Cardinal Adrian right now and he will talk to you about the process of becoming reverend of our first Eater church in Cameroon.
I kiss you with the brotherly kiss.

Blessings,
Reverend Paul Greenham

19:16 Reverend Greenham to Luke and Cardinal Adrian wrote:

Dear Cardinal Adrian,

Recently we spoke about our new aspiring member Luke. He did the required to become an official member of our Eater church and he is eager and willing to become reverend to the first Eater Church in Cameroon.
I would ask you to pray for him and those who are close to him and guide him through the steps that need to be taken to start our holy church in Africa.
I have already told him that you have mentioned the position of Bishop of Africa. and I hope that he wants to seriously consider this, because I see great faith and potential in him.
Our young sister Mary Landbourgh is ready to marry this fine young man and she wants to stand next to him as his helper, like God intended, to work for our Eater church in Cameroon.
I have sent this message also to Luke, so you have his contact and can communicate with him directly.

Brotherly Blessings,
Reverend Paul Greenham

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 6:20 pm

I see great things in this lad's future. Mainly pyramids, baptisms, and tattoos.

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 6:39 pm

That is exactly what we are hoping for, and don't forget the vacations in dubious conditions Laughing

20:21 Okay i will

20:26 Luke to Reverend Greenham wrote:

Okay thank you very much Rev Greenham God bless you and guide you

20:26 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Okay thank you very much

Our lad didn't find the reply to all button yet, and he doesn't check where he sends his message. For our own comfort I'll educate him a little bit. I am not a secretary... wait... I am.... nevermind. I'm not going to do his job.

20:28 Luke to Reverend Greenham wrote:

Hello Rev Adrian am glad to hear from you and will accept the position of being bishop i know its a big task but i oray God helps me,i will like us to take nest step now and so let me know whats next

20:33 Reverend Greenham to Luke wrote:

Dear brother Luke,

This message was intended for cardinal Adrian, but you accidentally sent it to me. I will send this message to him as well. Please note that when you hit reply, you should select his emailaddress or click "reply all" if you want to send it to the both of us. Thank you very much. I am sure cardinal Adrian will respond to you shortly.

Blessings
Reverend Paul Greenham

20:37 Luke to reverend Greenham wrote:

Okay thank you very much

Posted: Sat May 25, 2019 2:29 pm

I'm sorry, but just now I've seen all these messages... we're sure to deal with this little narcissistic idiot, with all the power of the Holy Faith of the Lamb! Laughing

Saturday 15.30 - Cardinal Adrian writes to our idiot (rev. Paul is CC'ed):

Quote:

Dear my son, may the Holy Lamb be with you!

I just have had a long and interesting discussion with our brother in Faith, pastor Paul G****** from Liverpool, on the idea that some of our local parishioners had when they watched a movie that you sent the past week. Indeed, I have watched those videoclips with great pleasure and interest in your performance and yes, I also liked the way you managed to gain the attention of everyone. Son, you have a grace that can be valued and can be used for the benefit of your fellows!

Of course, we need to think very carefully, but there are certain prerequisites that predict the possibility of expanding our activity in Africa. I will want to find out more about you and I will try to make time for this. Son, is it true that you are a real Christian man? Our Eater Church is a Christian Church, we believe in Jesus and we think He is the Holy Lamb who took the sins of mankind on his shoulders. Jesus Christ, as the Holy Lamb, is the spiritual patron of our Holy Church and I am, by the de facto, the Ruler of Eater Church.

Good pastor Paul told me about you in very laudatory terms, so that he managed to arouse my curiosity and aroused my nostalgia about my youth (I was a missionary in Asia when I was 20 years old). My dear son, please tell me something about you, because I want to know the man behind the picture. Maybe together we will be able to spread the seeds of the Faith and maybe we will be able to organize a local branch of our church. We really need people like you!

Be blessed my son, be blessed in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Cardinal William Adrian
Eater Church - Manchester Headquarter

Our idiot responds to Cardinal Adrian:

Quote:

Hello Cardinal Adrian
How are you today hope fine?
I heard much about you and i love to be a man of faith like you are,i am a full christain have been Baptist and i took the first holy cominion .father i wish to be a representative of the the church here in cameroon Africa am 22 age have have a family here due i lost my dad some years back life wasn't easy so my faith grew stronger for God one thing is for sure they will be victory i won't let our lord down

Thank you

My Cardinal, again:

Quote:

Dear my son, be blessed!
Our dear Pastor Paul already told me a little about you and your fiancé. Is it true that you will come to the USA and marry one of the sisters of the Holy Lamb? The Love is the most beautiful feeling that two people can share, and I am absolutely delighted to know that one of our Sisters of the Holy Lamb has managed to bring another believer into our flock. You will be blessed with many children, as it says in our Scriptures (Genesis 1:2 Cool

:
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

Our desire to develop the church activities in Africa is a complex plan and with many material and spiritual implications, it is not yet the right time to discuss concrete details. Confidentially, I want to tell you that I have the secret wish to build a Cathedral of the Holy Lamb and that I want this investment to be made where people need much help. Probably, in the near future, I will need some advice and practical help on all aspects of building a Great Eater Cathedral in Africa. I'm glad to have a man like you in our congregation!

Son, you also must become a full member of the Eater Congregation because you marry one of the parishioners of our Holy Church. The fact that you are already Christian makes everything very simple. Please tell me more about you, because I want to know you better. I want to know details about your childhood, about the schools you graduated, about your family.

I have seen in my correspondence that you have already taken the first step in achieving the objective of Admission among our congregation. You are on the right path, on the Way of Faith and the Supreme Truth! When you finish, only Heaven will be above you! As the Bishop of Africa, you will control all of our affiliates and you will have all our funds under your direct supervision

Under the grace, guidance and protection of the Holiest of Lambs,
Cardinal Adrian

Posted: Sat May 25, 2019 6:53 pm

Birlic, how about bring a Indian temples with different gods we have, we have millions £££££ to grow, my wife is Indian, she needs more temples in Africa, Brrlic and Lionline,
Will give me a place to worship ( drink beer)

Posted: Sat May 25, 2019 7:59 pm

@Hitty
Baiters have incorporated Hinduism (albeit somewhat loosely) into their baits before. See http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=275736 (Probably in one of the later threads).

Posted: Sat May 25, 2019 8:45 pm

Our idiot writes to my Cardinal:

Quote:

went to Presbyterian primary school when i completed and attended a government school which i completed secondary school attended a private university i graduated and got my degrees till now
my mom single highhandedly raise us up with my bros lost my dad back .yes will come do white weeding cardinal so now what is the next step?

thanks

Cardinal Adrian:

Quote:

Luke, dear my son, do not rush!
Our God made the world in 7 days, and remember that He has unlimited powers!
I will pray for you until you will become a full member of our Congregation.
Our Church needs such people! Our Church need you!

Well, I have to ask you, very seriously (and you have to think and answer very honestly):

- Son, do you want to become a proud Eater Church member?
- Son, are you going to marry our young sister of the Holy Lamb, the faithful Marry?
- Son, are you going to be part of our big family? For better and worse? Now and forever?
- Son, are you prepared to listen to the advice and opinions of your superiors, as if they were your parents?

If YES, then your answers must be clear, complete and spoken out loud. So there will be no doubt or ambiguity!
Please send me (or to pastor Paul) a video recording with the following answers:

- YES my Cardinal, I really want to become a proud Eater Church member!
Hallelujah! Amen! Glory to the Holy Lamb!
- YES my Cardinal, I really want to marry Marry, this sister of the Holy Lamb!
Hallelujah! Amen! Glory to the Holy Lamb!
- YES my Cardinal, I am now ready to become a part of the Eater Church family! For better and worse, now and forever!
Hallelujah! Amen! Glory to the Holy Lamb!
- YES my Cardinal, I will listen to all the advice and opinions expressed by my superiors, as if they were my parents!
Hallelujah! Amen! Glory to the Holy Lamb!

This simple formality is necessary and represents your official request to accede within our congregation. After I receive the video from you, I will ask our secretary to draw up the necessary (bureaucratic) forms for completing your Admission procedure. There are some simple and easy things to fix, and pastor Paul and I will be glad to help you with our advice.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Cardinal Adrian

Posted: Mon May 27, 2019 5:30 am

Monday

06.30 - 2 days have passed since my last message, so Cardinal Adrian wrote to Reverend Paul (Linoline)... our idiot is in CC:

Quote:

Dear Paul, be blessed!

Your young applicant in Cameroon did not respond to my last message, although it's been over 48 hours. You know something about him, is he sick or what?
Please draw your attention to the fact that polite rules impose a certain conduct in bilateral communication. A message from me can not be ignored for 2 days, especially when things are so important.
If Luke behaves like this now, before he is appointed the Ruler of our African Diocese (as BOA - bishop of Africa), then what will he do when he has our funds available and will have to explain how he spent the church money? I need to be convinced that Luke is a trustworthy man, a good Christian and a man who listens to the orders given by his hierarchical superiors.

Gum beannaicheadh Dia thu!
Cardinal Adrian

07.35 - One hour later, Reverend Paul responds to my cardinal (obviously, our moron is CC'ed):

Quote:

Dear father Adrian,

No I have not heard from Luke recently. He has been in contact with sister Dave at the end of the day on Saturday. Yesterday was the holy day of the Lord. I think and how he has devoted that day for prayers and praise so please give him a little more time to respond. I agree with you that it testifies of bad manner bit to respond in a timely fashion.

Blessings
Reverend Paul

===

Posted: Mon May 27, 2019 7:57 am

Friday May 24
23:06 Thank you. I really don't want to miss this chance to make things more better for you while I'm still here waiting to come to you

Saturday May 25
7:20 I understand baby its okay i will give you info on everything step,how are you hope fine
11:05 I'm ok. I feel a little better now that I know this is ok and taken care of
11:14 Okay what have you eaten
14:04 Consuela made me a fruit salad with some toast. How are you?
14:20 Wow thats great of her am doing find too
14:23 Did you hear back from the church yet? Dave came by and told me that you'd be introduced to the Cardinal.
What did you eat today?
14:28 I eat fried rice yes Rev Greenham introduced me to him but i didnt get a message from him yet
15:11 Sounds yummie, did you make it yourself? I hope mom is fine. I can't wait to meet her
15:29 Yes i did mom's fine she send her regards to you (She doesn't even live with him)

15:49 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Dear Luke,

In preparation for your wedding ceremony I have asked Mary to write a list of 10 Bibleverses that have special meaning to you. You should write out the complete verses by hand and also write why the particular verses hold special meaning to you.
Reverend Greenham will use this information in your wedding ceremony. Please note that you are not supposed to share this list with Mary and she is not supposed to share hers with you. Both of your lists will be used in preparing the ceremony.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

16:00 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Okay Dave thanks alot i will get mine ready

16:24 What do you want us to wear for our wedding? I was thinking white, but I don't think that's common over there. C do you have ideas
16:29 White will be great or we can get some designer outfit okay
16:36 Really? Like what kind? I don't know about what is normal in Cameroon
16:39 Yeah cameroon aint that bad though we follow trending styles you understand so anything will be find
17:27 I don't really understand. I thought Africa was totally different. What's the wedding tradition?
17:50 the traditional is like a local weeding made at home with friends and family
19:02 Can you tell me something more about it?

19:47 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Dear Luke

Thank you for your commitment. It shows a lot about the kind of man you are. Can you give me an indication of when I can expect to receive it from you?

Be blessed
Sister Dave

21:55 Luke to Sister Dave wrote:

Okay lets say by next week everything will be ready

21:56 Its a culture here in africa every country has his or hers and its good not bad you take palm wine to look for your bride and give it to her if she takes the palm wine she accepts if she doesnt then no
23:46 I never had palm wine and I have no idea if I like it. I need to know more. Who will be present at the ceremony?

Sunday May 26
8:50 My family and some friends baby
12:54 Who are they? I don't know anybody. What will we wear, can you show me some examples?

This boy really expected that Mary would come with a big bag of money and he could just sit back and wait for it. I think he is disappointed to find out he has to do some work for it. Annoying girl asking all kinds of stupid questions.... Laughing

He has been silent since yesterday morning

Posted: Tue May 28, 2019 11:52 am

Monday May 28
11:36 Honey, where are you? I haven't heard from you since yesterday
17:39 I miss you. It's boring here when I don't hear from you. Consuela is trying to teach me Spanish but I don't think I'll need it. Do people speak Spanish in Cameroon?

Tuesday May 29
8:49 I'm worried and I can't sleep, please let me know what's going on

Time to entice him a little

13:49 Sister Dave to Luke wrote:

Hello Luke,

Probably Mary has told you already about the support package we want to send you to help you getting the new church started. I heard from Cardinal Adrian that you din't yet respond to his messages and are right now not moving forward with the process of becoming a reverend, but that's ok. That process is just a mere formality and I believe we can trust that you will complete this process as soon as you can.

Because I don't like to wast time, in the mean time I would like to start getting your package ready. The budget for this support package is $10.000,- to be spent by you on equipment you think you need to start the church. Think of phones and laptops to communicate with the members that will help you, a beamer, printer, scanner, even musical instruments. It is free to spend to your own insights. Bibles and robes will be provided by the church and sent to you separately so you do not have to worry about that.

Please go to Amazon.com, pick out the products you would like and make a list for me with the name of the products, prices listed and the direct link to the product page. If you have sent that to me I can start ordering the products for you.

I do have to note that Cardinal Adrian told me that you have to show commitment and start working on the process of becoming a reverend, because we do not just send out parcels like this to anyone. We trust you and have faith in you. The Eater church in Cameroon relies on you now.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

Posted: Tue May 28, 2019 1:01 pm

Only silence on my side. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 12:42 pm

He either died, got malaria again or his brain exploded from all the things we told him.
No responses yet. Mary is poking him twice a day. I think we lost him Crying or Very sad

Could've been so nice. I think if he keeps silent, Mary will eventually send him a message that she's recovered and ready to come to him with cash

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