Tales From The Orphanage *Massbait request* Newbies Welcome!

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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:17 pm

Jayhawk and I have been baiting our lad, Andile, for nearly seven months. The first part is published here:
https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=296492

To summarize part one...
* Pastor (Jayhawk) needed a loan;
* Sister Mary (Lake) was able to secure the $15M loan for 5000 years but the Pastor got in the way of the lad securing it;
* To get around the pastor's interference, the lad provided some wonderful audio accusing the pastor of sexual abuse;
* When the Pastor found out Sister was behind the scheme, he locked Sister and Miss Connie (Lake) away which is where we thought the bait ended.

But our lad was desperate for cash, and came crawling back.

Most of our interaction with him has been painfully boring. The lad is an expert at writing just a few words in every email. It took seven months to finally snag a piggy from him, which we consider a small miracle.

Sister Mary has deduced that he is clearly gaysexual, since only someone so incredibly stupid as this guy could be so. And after his piggy ended up being a guy from California, Sister surmised that the name of the mule is most certainly the lad's gaysexual lover. The lad has yet to deny it.

Since part one...
* Miss Connie and Orphan Eliot are dead;
* Sister Mary, now mysteriously free from her dungeon, tried to get the lad to read some more audiobooks;
* Our lad claims to have recorded a book (don't get too excited, he hasn't) but wants payment first;
* The orphans all gathered what money they could find and agreed to send it to him in exchange for the book;
* Our lad is more than willing to accept the money from the orphans which makes him the lowest of the low;
* Not only is this the laziest lad ever, but he can't even figure out what book he supposedly recorded.

So Jayhawk and I have been annoying the crap out of him and it's your turn to help us!

WE NEED SOME ORPHANS!!!

PM Either Jayhawk or I if you would like to be an orphan. Our lad seems to HATE being emailed by them, so we're going to unleash the hounds. You may or may not get a response, but feel free to fire away.

Your orphan may be any of the following:
* very excited to finally hear his recording;
* wondering what book he has read;
* just wanting to say hi;
* be skeptical that he has done the reading;
* maybe you're on to him and think he's scamming your dear Sister Mary;
* curious about his gaysexuality;
* telling him how much money you were able to send yourself (it should be a few dollars at most) or maybe you sold a cherished toy;
* learned how to write in class and Sister said to email him;
* etc, etc, you get the picture.

Misspell, misspell, misspell. The orphanage in this bait is in Nevada. Sister Mary does the teaching and Wolfgang (Lake) is the accountant.

Your orphan can have any strange traits you want, as you will see below.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of this bait is awfully boring, but some snippets:

Highlights from Sister Mary (Lake):

Quote:

My dear sir,

Here is what I want you to do. Look down at your desk and pick up the bottle with all the little pills and read the label and then you kind sir please tell me what drugs you are on so I can pray to our nailed god sweet baby jesus amen himself as to how I can help you.

Quote:

Its the policy not on drugs OKay!

Quote:

My dear friend,

You are clearly on drugs. Just let me know the name of the drug and I shall send you monies for the antidote. Only a gaysexual person asks for monies before reading to orphans. I starting to think ye a gaysexual drug user. Are you my friend? It be okay, you can admit it as I am a sister of the nailed god sweet baby jesus and I shall pray in his name for your salvation.

Now you let me know when ye can start the reading or poor Cyndy Loo and other orphans such as Nelson, Horatio, Penelope, Ezekiel, Heather the flat one, Heather the well endowed one, Umberto and all the others going to be quite sad and it all going to be all ye fault my sir.

Quote:

Do you hate orphans sir? Because it sure seems like it! Many people read to my orphans for free. Some demand payment. That's OK. I'm trying to pay you! You are not listen! Maybe you gay lover is telling you to write stupid. I think that be the only splanation.

How hard is it to send me you address? Just type it and Wolfgang will male you a checque. If you want monies today, send bank info. This so simple even gaysexual can understand but you cannot and so maybe you a tranny?

So Tranny Andile, as very nice Howie with all the girls would say, deal or no deal?

Quote:

No i love orphans with my heart

Quote:

Dear Mary

Please point of correction I'm not a gaysexual please I'm a God
fearing man okay! Me and Mr. {name of mule} are going the reading together,
please don't be confuse everything is fully in place

God bless u

Please make the payment now

Highlights from Orphan Bobby (Jayhawk) who only writes haikus:

Quote:

Stealing from Orphans
Would make me fear God as well
Judgement Day is soon!

Stop drinking right now
And stop your gaysexual
lifestyle and maybe

God will forgive you
For trying to hurt orphans
But I don't think so

Quote:

Dear Bobby

Please I'm always very busy I'm a God fearing man with honest heart!

I'm not a Gaysexual

I'm not a Drunker

God bless u

Quote:

I ask you again
You a pitcher or catcher?
With your male lover?

God does not care for
Gaysexual men like you
You should be afraid

Stealing from orphans
Only makes things worse for you
And your male lover

Repent while you can
And stop stealing from orphans
Where are the readings?

Quote:

Dear Bobby

I'm a God fearing Man

Quote:

You'll never know peace
if you keep denying your
Gaysexual self

How does your partner
feel about all your lying
I bet he is sad

If you want to cure
Your gaysexual urges
Read to us orphans

The truth will free you
And you can be your true self
Please take my advice

Quote:

I'm not a gay sexual

Quote:

You said you would read
Sister Mary has paid you
Where is the reading

You must really hate
Orphans to do such a thing
As steal our money

Maybe you steal
To fund your gaysexual
Lifestyle am I right?

Repent your gay ways
And read to us orphans
Then you will be saved

Quote:

Please stop emailing me

And highlights from Orphan CyndyLoo (Jayhawk) who sold her favorite doll to hear our lad read:

Quote:

HI MR LANGEWEENIE ITS ME CYNDY LOO AGAIN!!!!! THANK YOU FOR WRITING ME BACK!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY THAT ONCE WE CONCLUDE ON WE PROCEED?? I AM ONLY 8 YEARS OLD SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE BIG WORDS YOU USE. BUT I AM GROWING UP AND ONE DAY I WILL BE A BIG GIRL. WHEN I GROW UP I AM GOING TO BE A PRINCESS AND LIVE ON A BIG ISLAND AND HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF SERVENTS.. SISTER MARY SAYS THAT YOU ARE READING ME THE BOOK ABOUT THE BIRDIE. WHEN WILL YOU GET THAT TO ME LANGWEENIE???

YOUR BEST FRIEND CYNDIE LOO

Quote:

I can't read anything without the advance payment

Quote:

HI MR LANGWEENIE ITS ME THE ORFAN CYNDY LOO AGAN!!! MR LANGWEENIE YOU MADE SISTER MARY CRY AGAN. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BAD BAD MAN??? SISTER MARY TELLS US THAT YOU READ FOR US BUT ARE NEEDING MONEY SO i sold my faverite dolly to get mony to send to you then sister tells us that you relly did not read for us but you were just trying to stele mony from orfans and that makes you a BAD BAD MAN. yesterday at church the orfans feathers and nelson were playing around and not paying attention and sister mary says FEATHERS AND NELSON IF YOU DONT BEHAVE MR LANGWEENIE WILL GET YOU you are a bad bad man and i miss my dollie

Quote:

Dear Cyndyloo

Please sorry for the inconvenience

Quote:

I LOST MY DOLLY BECUS OF YOU AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS SAY SORY OR THE INCONVENCE??? I CRY AND CRY AND CRY AND YOU DONT SEEM TO CARE. YOU ARE A BAD MAN WHO HATES ORPHANS???????

Unfortunately our lad never responded to Feathers (Jayhawk). Sad

PM Jayhawk or me if you could help annoy the hell out of this lad!!!

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 7:43 pm

Quote:

Heather the flat one, Heather the well endowed one

Alas Poor Yorick I knew them and Horatio for that matter but I digress...

PM to one or the other on it's way once I get around to it eh?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

As Lake mentioned, this lad has laziness that is exceeded only by his stupidity. If you want to play along and be an orphan, you will get a response. It might take some prodding, but he does respond. I think he never responded to Feathers simply because he couldn't decipher what Feathers was saying. Here are some snippets of our correspondence. First with young Cyndy Loo, who sold her favorite doll to send him money for the reading.

Quote:

I CAN'T SEND THE READING WITHOUT THE MONEY

Quote:

YOU DID NOT DO THE READING LIAR!!!

Quote:

Fuck uuuuuuuuuuu

Quote:

That is not a nice way to speak to an orfan Mr. L. Our sweet nailed savior will punish you for your lies.

Quote:

Have a blessed day

Boring stuff, but it does annoy him to no end. And with Bobby

Quote:

The sister was right
You are a very stupid
man who steals money

From orphans. Why do
you keep saying God bless u
when you steal from us

I think you're really
Satan in disguise but you
pretend you are not

Quote:

First of all who given u my email address?

I don't have any business with you ??

Please don't email me again!!!

Quote:

Good Sister Mary
Gave us orphans your email
Told us to save you

She said how can I
Help this poor pathetic thief
There must be a way

She thought and thought hard
Then the answer came to her
RELEASE THE ORPHANS!

She told all orphans
To pray for you and to write
You emails daily

In the hope that you
Will repent your heathen ways
And stop your stealing

Quote:

Sorry for the inconvenience

Quote:

Sister Mary says
You are a gaysexual
drunken drug addict

I think she is right
You should really stop drinking
It makes you stupid

Quote:

Dear Bobby

Please I'm always very busy I'm a God fearing man with honest heart!

I'm not a Gaysexual

I'm not a Drunker

God bless u

Quote:

Please don't email me again!!

There was much more that really isn't worth posting

I have no clue what we will get out of this, but if we can get a group of orphans emailing him with book requests and playing it straight I think we can annoy the shit out of him. This is a great opportunity for someone looking to get started on baiting, so newbies are encouraged.

Quote:

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:38 pm

^^^ Exactly what I was thinking, a great opportunity for newbies. I have a handful of takers already! I'd love to see dozens of orphans start annoying the hell out of him.

I will respond to every request with his name and email. Obviously, please post here if you get anything remotely interesting.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 2:32 am

Has this bastard been treated to the lovely BNI emails from devguy? Sure, there is a way to work those in. Twisted Evil

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Oct 2018 Posts: 61

We exchanged 5 emails already. He is boing. I’m warming him up. I’m a little boy Jimmy. I eventually told him that I’m depressed and want to run away from orphanage.

His response

Quote:

Don't worry everything will be fine

I’m trying to make him adopt me. He’s said he will think about it Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yes, he is very boring. That's the primary reason Lake and I dropped him many moons ago. Hes' become a real snit about the money

Quote:

TELL MARY TO SEND ME PROOF OF PAYMENT

Quote:

DONT YOU YELL AT ME
I BET YOUR GAY PARTER STOLE
THE MONEY FROM YOU

SO WHERE ARE THE BOOKS?
OR MAYBE YOU DID NOT READ?
AND YOU STOLE FROM US

THEN YOUR GAY PARTNER
TURNS AROUND AND STEALS FROM YOU
OH THE IRONY

My opinion is that this is just a kid who is in way over his head. I have no idea how he got a mule though. Maybe he nabbed it from one of the big boy players in the game that he looks up to.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 1:24 pm

Very fine work so far everyone. Yes, he's boring. I could post the whole bait but no one would read it!

On the plus side, he sent me his most verbose email yet!

Quote:

Dear Mary

Listen to me even if its the payment was made via computer there must be prof of payment! Without your accountant is lying!! Let him send me proof of payment

I'm medically okay, sound and good its you and your accountant that need medical attention!

How can you make payment without no proof of payment let him screen shot the transaction from his computer screen

WE CAN'T ACCESS THE MONEY WITHOUT THE PROOF OF PAYMENT GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD

Best Regard

He has no idea how much was sent. Might have been $87 or $5000 or $50000. Wolfgang is just not a very good accountant but damn if he isn't trying.

Quote:

My dear sir I thought we were friends and you were friends of orphans! But you axcuse Wolfgang of lying? He the most trusted person in the town and he even on the town board!!! But ye ask for proof and so when Wolfgang come in tomorrow I shall asketh him. But usually when he sends payment to bank it just go through immediately so maybe if you be nice to you gaysexual lover and stop fellating long enough to ask him perhaps he already have the monies? As it should not take this long sir.

Sister Mary

Excellent work so far. He is boring, thus our efforts to drive him insane. He's so close to the money I think he'll stick around for a while.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

He will definitely be a challenge to get talking. Little Clinton sent him an email introducing himself and asking what his name was. All he replied with was 3 words "you are welcome".

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 6:59 pm

Ha!

Quote:

Get us the payment proof period we are not joking here
Secondly stop this your gay sexual stuff

I think he likes us! He's clearly in panic mode as his account that he borrowed is at risk.

Anyone else care to be an orphan?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I think he is broken

First Cyndy Loo writes him>

Quote:

YOU ALWAYS WANT ME TO DO THINGS FOR YOU BUT YOU DO NOTHING FOR ME???? YOU STELE MY DOLY AND I WANT HER BACK????

Quote:

Okay ask sister Mary to give u back

I have no idea what the hell is talking about. He replies to Bobby with the following

Quote:

Hello Bobby

Have you eaten?
How are u doing ??

Quote:

Why do you ask me
If I have eatern. Do you
want to steal food too?

You are a strange dude
But I'm not gaysexual
So don't even try

Have you been drinking
Is that why you act so weird

Sober yourself up
I'm sorry your gay lover
Stole all your money

Just maybe if you
Had been more caring to him
He would not have left

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

My little orphan wants to help this poor lad and keeps referring to him as "Mrs" but he has not twigged to that as yet. My character is a 6 yr old boy who asks lots of questions but gets very short answers.

sister mary says you are speshul and we must pray for you
I guess the lad is not one for idle conversation.......

Please if don't have anything meaning please don't email me again

Sister mary says you need money and i wunted to help you since she says you are a good man with needs and thats why we prey for you
what do you need money fore?

My orphan is going to offer to steal from the other kids (and possibly Sister Mary too) and get money pulled together to send him. Hopefully he will take the bait.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:10 pm

This little girl has never heard of punctuation, thinks andile is the South-Afican cricket player and that must have something to do with crickets

Quote:

Deer misser Andile
I love love love yur games are you cumming to teech us playing crickets as well i always wants to lurn it sister mary sez ull reed us books i love love love it cuz i cant sleep at nigt is it aboot crickets plees send me the books
Kimmy

His reply within minutes

Quote:

Can you please introduce your self!!

Quote:

Of curse im kimmy one of deer sister marys orphans she said u promisd to reed books for us is it aboot crickets
Kimmy

Hours later, no response from the lad

Quote:

Misser Andile u never replied I love love love my teddybear but will sell it so deer sister mary can giv u the monies when will u reed the story aboot the crickets for me plees when teddy is gone i cant sleep and i need a story to sleep more better when will u reed it to me plees
Kimmy

2 hours later, the lad

Quote:

Okay
Have a blessed day

Quote:

Ok u will reed a story aboot cricket for me thank u so moch when will u send it to me plees soon i have not slept for long i miss my teddy i hope five dollars is enuf plees send the reeding to me today
Kimmy

Within minutes, the lad:

Quote:

Please I'm very busy now

crickets and crack... what's the difference?

Quote:

Maybe u shuld take sum vitamins like elliot did he never slept and was never tired he luved luved luved it sooo much but he is no more with us i am so sad for elliot dont u miss him he was even more nicer then my teddybear u never say is five dollars enuf when will u read aboot the crackets plees im crying aboot elliot plees read so i can sleep
Kimmy

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:11 pm

I like it, I like it.

I'm jealous of all the orphans so I resurrected Jenna (who had the affair with Hump in that bait) to pose as an orphan. Maybe I can get him to fall in love with her as well.

See if he can decipher this...

Quote:

HI MR ANDILLLE!

My naMe JENNA and I seVEn and SISTER MEYRY say you READ to US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now i use lik it best WHEN MAN COME heRe to READ BOOK but sum time MAN REcorD!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I LovE yOu and mAYbe yOu READ my FAVorite BOOK bout the LAMBS!!! I liKe LAMBS and they r my FAVorite ColoR TOO!!! I LOVve YOU MR ANDilleel man!!! JENNA

Wolfgang will join the fun tomorrow. Maybe.

ETA - We all miss Eliot. I think he'll be like Kenny in South Park - dying in every bait. In this bait he died of a drug overdose. Crack maybe? I don't know, Jayhawk killed him.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:54 pm

The Little Orphan that will soon one day be Trucker John has entered the mix:

Quote:

Hello Mr SoandSo

Am orphan Johnny by name and am honored to be pen pal to such nicest
person ok? Also am wishing to donaate monies in USD I finds cause it
is hundreds but not no knows where to sends and my numerology isn't
bestest b ut soon more better yess? Please helps?
Yours,
Johnny

Well By Gawd he replied!

Quote:

Dear Johnny

Thanks for your mail please how much do you want to donate??

Best Regards

I let him stew until just now:

Quote:

Hello Nice Mister.

Ihvae not counnted but box says for Sister Mary Kidney trasplant and it heavy oK? Mu My copunting ungood but there are piles of USDS
Yours,

Johnny

PMS - Dontplease tell sister am emailing k?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I promise you he will take the money from Johnny. When Cyndy Loo sold her favorite doll for $3.50 he told her to send the money to him. The idiot never did tell her how to send it though.

And Lake, Elliot died from snorting Heroin, a result of a depression brought on by the lad refusing to sing Happy Birthday to him.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 9:54 pm

Orphan Mikey has chatted with him a bit, but nothing exciting to report for now. When he helps Mikey with his interview project, I may have something more exciting than “have a blessed day”.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

May I join?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ NO CANADIANS! Very Happy

(You have a pm)

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

He has asked my orphan to steal for him. So my little 6 yr old boy has offered to rummage thru the personal possessions of the boys in the dormitory to collect cash. He is working in cahoots with a big girl who is stealing from the bingo jackpots. Good to know he has authorised children to steal for him!

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:36 pm

misser andile i hope u have a gud nigt i dont cause i cant sleep i dont have my teddy and i dont have ur story aboot cracks that u promised to reed to me and i am so so so sad aboot elliot do u know what happened to him it is so so so sad i cant stop crying when r u going to reed the story misser andile u never reply to mee i feel lonely and i only have the 5 dollars not my teddy not my elliot and not the story u r reeding only the 5 dollars

Please take good care of your self

Deer misser andile i am trying but u r not helping u promiseed to reed a story aboot cracks and teech mee to play bu u dont and i sold my teddy to help u and u never apricocate it u r rude r u going to adapt me when will u reed my story

What are you doing now??

Trying to sleep becus im so tired thank u for asking will u take care of me misser andile

Good night sweet dreams

But i cant sleep misser angile dont leeve me here alone im so so so sad and lonely plees take care of me will u be my daddy plees

Okay noted

So u will be my daddy that makes me soo happy misser daddy. My old mommy and daddy died by a truck and now im with deer sister may but shes not allowed to use the monies my reel mommy and daddy left me she sais that is for my new daddy to use so that will be u misser new daddy i love u so much when will u reed to me aboot cracks

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

He's awake but not too chatty.

Quote:

Who are u?

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:55 pm

No, he's not chatty at all. It's mostly an effort to drive him absolutely crazy. He's the king of three word emails, so if we can bombard him, I think collectively we can waste a bit more of his time.

Jenna got and intro and nine words!!!

Quote:

Dear Jenna

How are you doing?? I hope you are fine!!

Quote:

Oh MY GoodNEss Mr ANDILLLEEE RitED me Back I feL sO ESSIteD inSidE lIKE mY GuTS wiLL SpLODE!!!! YU suHC nICE MAn anD I wANt T o MERRRY YOUUUU!!! do U HaVE WiFE alREaaDY mR AnDILLLeEEE??? I hOPe NoT CAuSEE I WnaT tO MERY YOUUU!!!!! JENNa

Unfortunately I need a real keyboard to type like that so her emails will be sporadic. Wolfgang will begin later today.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I hope my English was shitty enough (my opening mail to him). Don't judge, Cezaro is trying hard.

Quote:

sistur mary says food is cominf soon bekaus of u! papa bless

i lened english!!!111!!!!! pls come to silver peak and shar moneyy!!!1!

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 5:50 pm

Mr. Verbose replied with:

Quote:

Okay its nice meeting u

Erm...What?

Best reply in kind:

Quote:

It also nice meeting yu too yes? Am notied that box also says contains extra large Dildos. But shuld I still open box.

Thanks yu,

Johnny

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