Let it go.... "I, Sven, am not a gay!"

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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:55 am

^^^ It would be great if our idiot would start performing in the bus station. Laughing

11.02 - Joojoo to Sven and Akwoodi:

Quote:

STOP A OUOGUI NO PRBLEM

Akwoodi to Sven:

Quote:

Frere Sven,

Joojoo is on the route, in a small village named Ouogui.

Everything goes according to schedule.

Where are you now?

Akwoodi

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:02 am

It looks like he dressed for the part...does his shirt say "Blessed"?? Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:12 am

^^^ We will see. Very Happy

11.06 - Sven to Akwoodi, 2 messages:

Quote:

Almost at where I will take seme car

and

Quote:

I will snap myself when am in seme car

===

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Apr 2016 Posts: 56

My wife to me just now...... “I don’t understand why you are so excited about a blurry picture of a boy on a bus?”

“It’s an ‘eater thing’ ...... will take Faaarrrr too long to explain”

I also note he bought his boyfriend again..... surely this time the boyfriend will damage him when the parcel fails to show up

Keep up the very excellent work.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:47 am

11.42 - Joojoo sent another traffic report:

Quote:

AM ON DASA ZUME ALL OK
UNA DRIVR WHU CAM FO SETO TOLD MI ROUD IZ CROWD AN TRAFIC HAVY

Sven, to Akwoodi... YES, his shirt say "Blessed" Laughing

Quote:

Am in the bus now but the driver said its about 2hours drive

===

12.25 - Joojoo to Akwoodi and Sven... he reported a car incident... hit some goats, killed one of them Laughing

... paid the price to the owner... he went on to Bohicon.

Quote:

SETO NOW I HAD INCIDNT WIT GOAT CROSS DA ROUD AN NOT COULD AVOID
AM HIT GOAT HARD AM KILL HER AM PAID OWNR OF GOAT
HAVY TRAFIC MANY GOAT AN CHIKEN ON ROUD

Akwoodi to Joojoo (Sven is in CC):

Quote:

Joojoo, everything is okay with you?

Can you continue your trip to Cotonou?

Mr. Sven will soon arrived at the meeting place in Seme and he will sent his confirmation picture.

He will waiting there.

Akwoodi

Joojoo:

Quote:

AM OK ON MA WEY TO BOHICON
SOM DAMAJES TO VAN NO SEVER PROBLM

===

These technical problems will prove to be very severe: the broken radiator, the lost cooling liquid.
Joojoo will must stop in Bohicon for car repairs. Laughing

===

12.40 - 15 minutes later, Akwoodi writes to Sven:

Quote:

Frere Sven, where are you now?

Joojoo had an accident on the route linking Paouignan de Seto, he hit a herd of goats that crossed the street.

He had to pay one murdered goat, but everything is fine now and he went on to Bohicon.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

===

12.45 - Our little idiot is still happy. Laughing

Quote:

Glad the driver didn't hurt. Am in owode yewa idi irok o we be there in some minutes. I will notify you before I cross the border

Akwoodi:

Quote:

Okay, perfect.

I will wait for your confirmation photo.

Akwoodi

12.55 - Our dear Sven accepted the "goat accident" ... so there will be no problems with our scenario. Laughing

Quote:

Okay, thank you

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 12:45 pm

Laura Hollycraft to Sven

Quote:

Dear brother Sven,

I have read a lot of private conversations between Cardinal Agnarr and father Bob, blessed be their souls. They spoke so highly of you and it looks like Cardinal Agnarr had plans to start a church in Nigeria soon with your help. As I could see, Cardinal Frank Weselton is also aware of these plans.
Today the will of late Cardinal Agnarr will be read in front of all the other Cardinals and bishops. His plans and wishes will be known to all and a new leader will know how to continue Cardinal Agnarr's work. Maybe it will be the time to choose a new leader of our church soon. Have you perhaps received any visions or wisdom about this topic?

Blessed be your soul,
Laura Hollycraft

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 12:50 pm

13.45 - Our Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Am crossing now I will snap in the seme garage

- In the meantime, the driver Joojoo arrived in Bohicon and drove the car in a mechanical workshop to be repaired.
- There seems to be problems in the cooling system (the goat accident was more serious than it seemed at first glance).
- The van radiator must be repaired.

If the idiot checks online, he'll see the following "map".

===

Akwoodi to Sven:

Quote:

Frere Sven, I'm trying to get in touch with Joojoo to check his current position.

The last time he was in the town of Bohicon, a distance of only 125 kms from Cotonou.

His "position" on the maps in our servers shows that he is still in Bohicon.

I will come back with details.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

13.56 - Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Am in the seme garage now with my friend

We want to introduce you "The lucky winner" of a superb holiday in Benin: Sven - The Traveler! Laughing

===

14.08 - Akwoodi to Sven:

Quote:

OK, received.

I'm still trying to find Joojoo.

Akwoodi

Sven:

Quote:

What is the color of the vehicle coming

Akwoodi:

Quote:

Our van is white color and the both sides are inscribed with the name of our company.

Akwoodi

===

14.15 - Joojoo to both of them (Akwoodi and Sven):

Quote:

AM HAV BROKN RADIATEOR AN BARLY MANAJE TU GET TU BOHICON
AM LOST WATER FO ENGINE AN GO SLOWY SLOWY AN MEEK MANI PAUZ TU COOL ENGIN
NO AM A CAR ATELER AN MECANIC TEL MI DA PROBLM WAS GOAT ACCIDNT AN REPARS TEEK MEYBE 2 HOORS LONG

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:17 pm

Oh boy - guess he made a bad choice of t-shirt this morning - lol

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:17 pm

Rose to Sven, just to annoy him. Since Rose and Anna know nothing, there's not much they can do. I'm curious to see how he'll explain his vacation to Anna when things go south.

Quote:

Sven,

You didn't respond to my last message, it's really annoying. Noon has passed. The video I requested from you today is not much work, I expect you to send it to me today. A Tarzan yell can be performed anywhere, you don't even need someone else to hold the camera, you can film yourself if there's no other way. Most important is that you show you are working and making progress.

Cheers,
Rose

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:31 pm

14.25 - My manager Akwoodi explain everything. Laughing

Quote:

Frere Sven,

Right now I spoke to the driver on the phone and it seems that the goat accident (that seemed to be minor at first glance) was pretty severe.

The car radiator was broken by impact with the body of the goat and all the water from the engine cooling system blew out.

Juju hardly arrived in Bohicon and is now at one local mechanical workshop.

Our luck is that Bohicon is a big and civilized city, where we have great chances to solve the problem.

Please accept my apologies for a potential delay of up to 2 hours.

I strongly insist now that you go to the restaurant and order everything you want.

Juju will pay for all these, when you will meet him and these two waiting hours will leak much easier.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

I agree with you. Hope he is safe there with the parcel

Sven to Joojoo... our moron is worried about his valuable parcel. Laughing

Quote:

Two hours is long. Hope you are safe there

Joojoo:

Quote:

AM DEY OK THANKS AM DEY GONNA GO CHOP SOMETHNG BECUS TODAY AM DID NO CHOP ANYTHIN
DI BOS AKWUD TOLD U FO CHOP TOO DAT AM GET MONI FO MI NA AM DROP LATER OK

Sven to Joojoo:

Quote:

Okay thank you. Please be fast. I still have a long way to go

===

Muhahahaha!
Sven responds to Rose:

Quote:

Sorry I couldn't reply. I went on an impromptu meeting which requires travelling out of my state I will send you some pictures to confirm. Thanks

15.05 - Rose to Sven... We really want to see this moron yelling in that Seme park station. Laughing

Quote:

Sven,

You're a very well traveled man.
I don't need confirmation. I need the video of you performing that Tarzan yell. I told you it doesn't matter where you are, whether you're alone or not. You can make it anywhere as long as you deliver it to me today. It's only a small thing I ask of you instead of the new video of the modern major general that you promised to make today, so please stop with the excuses.

Cheers,
Rose

===

15.25 - Back to Benin intrigue... Akwoodi writes to Sven, asking him "details". Laughing

Quote:

Frere Sven, please confirm that everything is okay with you. Did you eat something, as I previously asked?

Right now I spoken with Joojoo and he tell me that the mechanic working hard to fix the broken van's radiator.

I hope in one hour he will be able to do the rest of his trip and he will meet you safe, in that Seme-Park venue.

Are you ok there, everything is safe near you? Please tell me more.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

Immediately, Sven writes to Joojoo:

Quote:

Mr joojoo any update

... and he responds to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Everything is safe here. Thank you

===

15.35 - Ten minutes later, Joojoo answered... he's on the local terrace, with a cold beer in his hand. I'm sure Sven will appreciate very much this thing. Laughing

Quote:

AM STILL NOR SABI ANYTHIN DI MECHANIC WORKIN ON DI MOTO DON DISMANTLED ALL OF DI FRONT
DI MECHANIC SAY WON HOUR BUT HIE DEY NATIN CERTEN
AM DEY AT DI UNA NEARBY TERRAS AM TOOK SOME CHEECKEN WIT RICE NA DI COLD BEER

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

The idea of the two idiots waiting and waiting and anxious to get going contrasted with Joojoo sitting there relaxed having beer and chicken just cracks me up.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:59 pm

Birlic wrote:

AM DEY GONNA GO CHOP SOMETHNG

Oh... how true Laughing

The little rat is purposely ignoring rose's messages Evil or Very Mad

Rose is pissed

Quote:

Sven,

Communication is key. If you still want to have a job I suggest you will not ignore my messages.

Rose

=======

Quote:

Am in ignoring your mail. Am just confused on what to do. I told am in a car traveling and you want me to be yelling inside the car

And he sent a picture of him in the car, from earlier today Laughing

Quote:

Sven,

That car should be stopping at some point. You'll get out of the car, perform that yell, send it to me and move along. You can't tell me you're driving non stop for the entire day. Enough excuses. I will not tolerate that. If you need to you'll yell inside the car. You're an artist. Make it happen. Think in possibilities instead of problems. Would Rome ever been built with an attitude like that? NO. And no production will ever take form with actors with attitudes like yours has been the last week.

Rose

Quote:

And looking at that picture that you've sent me, I see that you have your friend with you that performed in one of your previous assignments. I assume he can do the filming, so I expect a full posture video from you

=====
Score!

Sven yelling like tarzan again

Quote:

Hi Sven,

It is good to see that you are enjoying what you are doing. However, this isn't really convincing as Tarzan, do you agree with me? What you did earlier was much better. Please send me a video today, like I requested, with multiple yells in a row. Be aware of the intonation, the facial expression, your posture. Make me believe that you are Tarzan, king of the Jungle.

Cheers,
Rose

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Feb 2019 Posts: 163

Magnificent. In an hour or two, it will be dark in Benin...and it will dawn on our hero (pun intended) that he has been royally owned - again Smile

Edit: will the driver disappear with the payload?
<<popping popcorn and waiting Cool

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:48 pm

More fun with our idiot! Laughing

16.10 - Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Please Sir, control Mr juju to take less alcohol because he still going to drive

16.30 - Sven to Joojoo:

Quote:

Any update

===

16.45 - Well we have some bad news. Laughing

Quote:

Frere Sven, the repair can not be done today because the new piece (the radiator) will arrive at the workshop only tomorrow morning.

Under these conditions, Joojoo will have to sleep in Bohicon tonight. We chose the Des Princes Hotel because it has an excellent cuisine and is in the middle of the city.

I told Joojoo that you would arrive there tonight and he would have to pay for your personal room and for all of your expenses.

From where you are now, in a straight line, are just 23 km to the Place de l'Etoile Rouge (in Cotonou), where is the main city bus station.

There are some local buses and you have to take one of the many buses to Alada - Bohicon. It's just 120 km and it's a short road of 1.5-2 hours.

Hotel Des Princes is located right in the center of Bohicon and everyone knows where it is. Joojoo will be there.

Tomorrow morning, after the repair will be done, Joojoo will bring you back to the border with Nigeria.

All of your expenses are the responsibility of our company.

I deeply regret the unpleasant situation and I hope your stay is as pleasant as possible under these conditions!

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

I'm sure Sven will be delighted to read this lines. Muhahahahaha! Laughing

===

Sven, two nice messages. Laughing

Quote:

Are you saying I will come there now. I have no money with me

and

Quote:

Second time in an unknown land

===

17.06 - Sven is desperate:

Quote:

Please, talk to me

Akwoodi, innocent 100%:

Quote:

Frere Sven, I profoundly regret this sad situation, but it is beyond me. I will fix all this you have my word!

I insist, however, on doing everything possible to get to hotel in Bohicon where Joojoo is already waiting for you.

I think it's best to spend the evening with someone you know, instead of staying alone in a foreign city.

But, of course, you can do the way you want. If you decide to stay in Cotonou, then please ask for an accommodation bill and send it to me by email.

It will be repaid, tommorow.

Allah is great!
Akwudi

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:50 pm

uh oh...... Anna will be on messenger again in an hour. I'm curious to see what he has to say to her

Sven

Quote:

Mrs Rose, you want me to stop the car again, this is not my car it's public own. Am sorry I can't stop the car because we are embarking on a long journey. I had to beg and show some understanding people the mails you sent before they allowed the driver to stop.

Rose

Quote:

Yes, Sven, that is what I want. I was very clear earlier today that I wanted a video with several yells in a row and I said I needed a full posture video. You could've done it right the first time

Olaf

Quote:

Lighten up a bit, Rose! As soon as he arrives at his destination, before he checks into his hotel, he will get the yell done. He doesn’t need to disturb the poor driver or whatever. While he’s in the car, he can work on memorizing his lines for the major-general. That shouldn’t be too disruptive. If you can’t stop to do the yells now, Sven, can you work on memorizing your lines instead?

Sven

Quote:

Yeah thank you,

Damn, I was happily playing bitch and he was obeying Laughing

Olaf

Quote:

Oh, that reminds me! This would also be a perfect opportunity for you to work on your travel journal! I’m sure you have a lot of things to write about, and it would make Rose a lot happier.

Rose

Quote:

Olaf, thank you for your concern. You do realize that we are working with tight deadlines and that Sven has ignored several deadlines already? It's making my bloodpressure rise. Our producer is not happy when actors are not working on the schedule.
Sven. As Olaf suggested, I will expect the remake of your video before sunset today.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:29 pm

^^^ LOL!

Sven, anther funny messages to Akwoodi.

Quote:

Any help you can render

and

Quote:

Will he pay for the car I bring because they are saying 10000 sefa

Akwoodi:

Quote:

Frere Sven, of course!

Joojoo will settle all your expenses, no doubt here!

This message will also be sent to him, to wait for you at the hotel and to go to dinner together. Bon appétit!

Joojoo, please take care of our client, pay all of his expenses and take him back to the border tomorrow morning after the mechanic has finished repairing the car.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

===

17.20 - Joojoo to Akwoodi (Sven is in CC):

Quote:

OUI BOS AM HIERE WAITNIG FO MISTA CLENT KAYODU
HOTEL DE PRINCES NA CENTER DU BOHICON

Maybe we will be able to send the two idiots to Bohicon, to look for Joojoo there. Laughing

===

LOLOL!... Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

He should wait outside the hotel so he can pay the driver

No problem, sure!

Quote:

Frere Sven,

Surely, if you let him know by email when you join Bohicon, he'll go out in front of the hotel. No problem!

Joojoo, please follow the messages from Mr. Sven and make sure everything goes perfectly!

Akwoodi

Joojoo to Akwoodi (Sven is in CC):

Quote:

YES BOS AM IN RESTORNT WAITNIG FO MISTA CLENT

Sven to Joojoo... the MESSAGE of the day!

Quote:

Please wait there am on my way. I don't want to beaten

===

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:38 pm

Too funny

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:46 pm

Priceless. He'll have a marvelous evening

https://youtu.be/dBN86y30Ufc

Olaf

Quote:

I understand completely, and I know that deadlines are quite important and looming. Sven still has other tasks that he has neglected though, and I have full faith that he can get all of those done ASAP. You’ll get all of those assignments done soon, within ~24 hours, right Sven?

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:19 pm

- I'm sure Joojoo will disappear. Laughing

- Manager Akwoodi promises to send someone else, with some "help money"... but tomorrow, not today. It's already too late now and Akwoodi has no available driver anymore.
- Joojoo will contact Sven and say: "Look, I have unpacked the parcel and found the money inside... it is forbidden to transport money. I want half the money and one laptop... come here tomorrow morning, in Djougou."
- Tomorrow is our dear Sven's birthday, so he's going to have a great party... he will never forget it! Laughing

===

Later edit: I've calculated wrongly ... his anniversary is Thursday, not tomorrow.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 28 Oct 2018 Posts: 90

OMG, the absolute FINEST in 5-star customer service!!!!
bow_down

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Isn't it about time for one of those customer service questionnaires to be sent?

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:34 pm

^^^ LOL! You are right! Laughing

18.30 - Anna writes to her dear Sven:

Quote:

Honey, where are you? I haven't heard from you all day. Are you ok? Are you still looking for a way to get the parcel? Did you find people to help you finish that assignment from Rose?
Love Anna

===

Akwoodi to Sven:

Quote:

Frere Sven, where are you?

Everything is ok ?

Akwoodi

===

18.45 - Sparky had a very nice idea, so my manager Claude writes to Sven:

Quote:

Dear Sven, I believe the delivery of your parcel took place today, is it true? Our coleague Akwoodi has sent a report to the headquarters, confirming that you met today with our representative in Benin and you received your parcel.

I am so glad that everything has ended well and, as usual, I will ask you to fill out that questionnaire about Customer Satisfaction. You know very well that these questionnaires help us to raise our standards and meet all the demands of our clients.

Thanks for your collaboration and I hope you will be our client in the future!
Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service!
Claude

===

19.07 - Akwoodi to Sven, again. Laughing

Quote:

Frere Sven, I feel forced to come back.

Where are you now, in what city/position?

Joojoo became nervous and suspicious, because you do not communicate or send him messages.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

===

21.03 - Sven reached Bohicon... he sent messages to Joojoo and Akwoodi. Laughing

Quote:

Am outside the hotel now

and

Quote:

Am in front of the hotel now. Please come out

and

Quote:

Are you there

and

Quote:

Please come out

and

Quote:

Am in front of the hotel now

===

21.15 - Akwoodi to Sven:

Quote:

Frere Sven,

Probably he does not appear for reasons of security of the package. You never know what can happen at night in unknown cities.

To avoid any mistakes, you must send a confirmation picture, taken there in front of the hotel.

Joojoo is trained appropriately and will not appear if he is not sure you are the right person.

Allah is great!
Akwoodi

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:16 pm

After a long time of silence Sven finally responds to Anna's message

Quote:

No, I'm not

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:21 pm

Welcome to Bohicon! Laughing

Sven to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Please tell him to come out. The guy with cap is my friend and the third is the driver waiting to collect his money

===

21.25 - Sven, desperate:

Quote:

Please tell him to come out the driver is waiting

Akwoodi, innocent 200%:

Quote:

Please be patient, because Joojoo does not answer the phone.

I do not know what's up there. Let me check and come back with details.

Akwoodi

Quote:

Talk to me. He is not here yet

and

Quote:

My phone will be going off soon

===

21.35 - Akwoodi:

Quote:

I'm trying to find him because he does not answer the phone again.

Please ask staff at the hotel if they know anything about our representative.

I'll come back shortly.

Akwoodi

===

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:35 pm

Anna

Quote:

Honey, what's wrong, are you sick?

Sven

Quote:

You can't believe I am in Benin Republic to have the parcel.

Anna

Quote:

What are you talking about? You never told me you'd go there

Sven

Quote:

Now stuck here again. I was told there car is faulty

Quote:

I wanted to surprise you

Anna

Quote:

I can't believe you didn't say anything about going there. When did you leave home?

Sven

Quote:

Since 6am, now this company ruin my surprise. That was why I told you be patient and worry less

Anna

Quote:

Fuck surprises. You lied to me! All day you lied to me! I can't believe this

Let it go.... "I, Sven, am not a gay!"	View next topic View previous topic