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Jimlad
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Aug 2011
Posts: 345
Location: East Acton Labour Exchange
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Posted:
Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:21 pm |
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I've been toying with this lad for a day or two but wasn't expecting much from him. He wants $125 for a security certificate that will release a $10.5m windfall to me. (I'm SO lucky). I told him I couldn't afford the cash so I'd send him the fee in used stamps. He didn't understand the concept. That's where the fun began.
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Lad:what you mean used stamps
Me: Just what it says. Little squares of coloured paper that you find on envelopes...each with a value, torn off same and sent to you in payment.
Lad: I don't understand
Me: Well you're just rubbish then!
Lad: No I'm not
Me: Well if you're not explain to me why you don't know what used stamps are?
Lad: We are talking about money to pay your charges which is just $125 only.
Me: Yes. $125 IN USED STAMPS! Which part of that statement don't you understand? This is the picture of your payment of $125. All I have to do is put them in an envelope and put a stamp on it. What is your address? |
I then sent him a picture of a pile of old stamps taken from the web and to my utter amazement he went for it!
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So when are you going to mail it to this address below, xxxx orchard hill dr Belton Texas xxxxx. |
In for a penny, in for a pound:
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I'll do it at lunchtime. In about an hour. |
Then the penny drops. Oh. So. Slowly.
I reassure him...the doubting Thomas that he is.
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Yes, it is. Each stamp has a value and they can be cashed. It's a well known fact. |
That's where I am at the moment. He's gone quiet for now. Obviously checking his philately catalogue |
_________________ Owner of the world's greatest collection of 14th century Italian explosions.
x33
"KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK, TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER". - Hitlad Joshua Clement
"What i have to regret is to have TAToo on my lift forearm, because, i will lose my community member. then will serpent me". - Prophet Felix
"Thanks for your massage and Im interested for this fisting". - Sam Chika
"I don't think that I'm talking to human being like me I think you are a robot". - Mark Obi
Last edited by Jimlad on Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:40 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Linoline
Dume Dutch Bag
Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 4453
Location: When life gives you melons you might be dyslectic
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Posted:
Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:01 pm |
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nice idea. Looking forward to see where this will be going |
_________________ x5 x1204 x155 x30 x4 x3 x1 x2 🍆 🍰
My Collection of lad frustration
"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"I know you wanna bring me to Netherlands so you will suck my blood and eat my flesh" - Calimero |
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Jimlad
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Aug 2011
Posts: 345
Location: East Acton Labour Exchange
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Posted:
Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:38 pm |
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But wait...
After telling him that used stamps really do have a monetary value, he seems reassured:
Quote: |
Ok, thanks.
I will be expecting to get the tracking number once you mail it via UPS. |
A fake postal receipt will be winging its way to him soon because UPS is just too expensive |
_________________ Owner of the world's greatest collection of 14th century Italian explosions.
x33
"KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK, TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER". - Hitlad Joshua Clement
"What i have to regret is to have TAToo on my lift forearm, because, i will lose my community member. then will serpent me". - Prophet Felix
"Thanks for your massage and Im interested for this fisting". - Sam Chika
"I don't think that I'm talking to human being like me I think you are a robot". - Mark Obi |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:50 pm |
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'Tis a shame you couldn't go the full Goon Show on him, where seemingly just about anything was negotiable currency.
Seagoon: Old wrinkled retainer! My retinue and I require kippo for the night - I'm willing to pay. Look, here's an advance, three shillings in unused buttons.
Henry Crun: Oh, I'll sew them on my cheque book at once.
And, funnily enough:
Grytpype: Mr. Snagge, I fear you have arrived too late to save Mr Greenslade. He has already signed a theatrical contract at £5 a week.
Snagge: Five pounds? There isn't that much!
Grytpype: Yes, there is, and here it is in used stamps. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Jimlad
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Aug 2011
Posts: 345
Location: East Acton Labour Exchange
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Posted:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:55 am |
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Absolutely. This is my favourite
Grytpype-Thynne: Neddie, my heavily-oiled friend here and I, are rather anxious to get to Pevensey Bay Station tonight.
Neddie: You'll never do it. There are no trains.
Grytpype-Thynne: We know. Perhaps a lift on your snowplough?
Neddie: Out of the question. It's against the rules.
Grytpype-Thynne: We have money.
Neddie: Money?
Grytpype-Thynne: Yes! To prove we're not lying, here's a photograph of a shilling.
Neddie: What wealth!
Grytpype-Thynne: Yes, and there are more photographs where that came from. |
_________________ Owner of the world's greatest collection of 14th century Italian explosions.
x33
"KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK, TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER". - Hitlad Joshua Clement
"What i have to regret is to have TAToo on my lift forearm, because, i will lose my community member. then will serpent me". - Prophet Felix
"Thanks for your massage and Im interested for this fisting". - Sam Chika
"I don't think that I'm talking to human being like me I think you are a robot". - Mark Obi |
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MorganleFay
Elite Baiter
Joined: 28 Mar 2015
Posts: 1916
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Posted:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:52 am |
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^^LOL
Always loved the Goons. |
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pete515
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1301
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Posted:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 9:27 am |
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Me too. But our American contingent must be wondering what the hell all this talk about the Goons is about |
_________________ LOTS
David Mark - Lagos/Yankari SSC
David Mark -3 years
Simon Dormoo - 1 year+, a standard 419er who became my love lad
x2 ME Foundation Home, Bank of Afrique
"..a strange voice like a wild pussy cat yelled at me and then paused......It was terrible, I nearly threw my phone away, and it scared me." Lad talks to a fax machine.
"mother remember I trusted you with all my hearth, remember I fouled with my blood that I am ready to take you as my biological mother remember I gave you my hope, my spirit and soul that you will lie to me or cheat me" Elinah Kipkalya
"you sun of a beach ".."you foolish and bustard stinking dead dog". More from the fragrant Elinah 4 weeks later. |
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Jimlad
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Aug 2011
Posts: 345
Location: East Acton Labour Exchange
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Posted:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 12:01 pm |
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The latest developments with my halfwitted friend who's waiting for his stamps after being assured of their value to him:
Quote: |
Lad: Ok, thanks. I will be expecting to get the tracking number once you mail it via UPS.
Me:UPS is too expensive. I'll put a stamp on it and send it in the post.
Lad: Okay dear beneficiary, please send me all the information okay.
Me: Ok, I will do it tonight after I get home from work.
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I leave him to stew for a couple of days.
Quote: |
Lad: Hello dear beneficiary, any update yet?
Me: I'm sorry Mr. Moore for the delay. My great aunt Minnie died from cancer of the breast on Wednesday so I hope you'll forgive my not having our business at the front of my mind. Below is a scan of the proof of posting for your stamps. (A real proof of posting that I Photoshopped)
Lad: When will the receiver receive it and what country did you send the stamps from. |
If he read the proof of posting he'd know so a mild slap is duly administered:
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In about three working days. As for the country I sent them from, did you not look at the proof of posting I sent you? At the top it says postoffice.co.uk. UK? Do you not know what that is? |
He seems chastened:
Next, when the parcel never arrives, I will have to introduce a corrupt Customs Officer who wants paid if chummy here wants his stamps. |
_________________ Owner of the world's greatest collection of 14th century Italian explosions.
x33
"KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK, TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER". - Hitlad Joshua Clement
"What i have to regret is to have TAToo on my lift forearm, because, i will lose my community member. then will serpent me". - Prophet Felix
"Thanks for your massage and Im interested for this fisting". - Sam Chika
"I don't think that I'm talking to human being like me I think you are a robot". - Mark Obi |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 12:22 pm |
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Here, for our American readers, are some links relating to the highly esteemed Goon Show!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goon_Show
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Radio/TheGoonShow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctM_Rvgjfpo |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Jimlad
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Aug 2011
Posts: 345
Location: East Acton Labour Exchange
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Posted:
Wed Jan 30, 2019 12:56 pm |
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My poor lad. He's just got no luck with this transaction. Some corrupt fellow (my dolla chopping alter ego, Zulu Aganga) at the USPS has his parcel of used stamps and is in the mood for a bit of extortion:
Quote: |
Hello.
I am officer of the USPS. I saw your package today from the UK. According to customs declaration it contain money which has been sent to you from UK. Since this has come from outside the US country it has no origin point within US leagal status. Perhaps you would like pay me for you to recieve this package. It was sent without correct delivery fee so you must pay me a balance to recieve it. Do not contact the USPS about this or your parcel will vanish Yahoo boy.
Send $50 to me by Western Union by tomorrow or its bye bye to your money
Zulu Aganga |
Poor lad. What IS he to do |
_________________ Owner of the world's greatest collection of 14th century Italian explosions.
x33
"KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK, TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER". - Hitlad Joshua Clement
"What i have to regret is to have TAToo on my lift forearm, because, i will lose my community member. then will serpent me". - Prophet Felix
"Thanks for your massage and Im interested for this fisting". - Sam Chika
"I don't think that I'm talking to human being like me I think you are a robot". - Mark Obi |
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