Pastor B gets a loan for 5000 years audio page 6

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I can't believe the bastard is going to lie on Pastor B. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 11:13 pm

Hey, at least no one has died yet.

Definitely not Hump... I don't think.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ That we know of. Poor Elliot has not been seen for over a week now, and the odor coming from his room is getting stronger.

It was awful nice of Lake to castrate my character. I guess I had it coming after I killed poor Elliot in the Humphere bait.

(And maybe this one as well. We shall see)

I guess if we get the audio we will know if it is Humphere or not. We have over 40 hours of Humphere audio to compare it to.

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:12 am

What, not poor Elliot? What did he do to deserve this? That is, aside from being a pompous brat and taking Orphan Drooper's drugs. Will Mr. Matthew's services ever be needed? Also, could you PM me the script Lake Amour? I'm curious to see what hilarious things you have planned for him. If his video is ever sent to a bunch of lads with his address, things will get fun for him.

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:28 pm

Quote:

Dear Sister Mary

Thanks it's well understood and well noted!

I'm not sure if he's wasting my time or if he's actually going to follow the script. The short responses are very unlike Hump's college theses.

Quote:

Oh my dear kind sir who help save orphans,

This be quite wonderful and you must act quickly as the board planning to meet this weekend and evil pastor with all his bits in tact is trying to get the loan from what I think may be a gaysexuality friend and no one on the board knows and think of how horrible that would be for the children and so I pray to our nailed god that ye able to get recorded in great haste indeed.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Pastor B decides to prod him

Quote:

My friend you are so f*cked. I know you and Sister Mary are planning something. I don't know what it is but I promise you it will not work. I am smart and you are a fool and Sister Mary is a b*tch. So you have no chance. I fart in your general direction. When this loan goes through and my guy gets it I will party like it's 1999. Too bad for you that I am so f*cking brilliant. The board hates gaysexuals and when I tell them about what you did to poor orphan Elliot and how you are gayssexual who likes f*cking little boys there is no f*cking way they will give you the loan. NO F*CKING WAY!

Pastor George has recovered enough from his dune buggy accident to attend the board meeting this weekend and once the vote is taken it will be all over for you. You dumb gaysexual moran

I *'d out the dirty words as there is really no need to post them in full. You all get the idea.

Let's see if that is enough ammo to motivate him to get Pastor B castrated.

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 6:57 pm

This poor lad appears to be trying to lend money to the orphanage from hell Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Hello

I don't know what a F^CK u are talking about!

Quote:

Yes I am sure you dont know. With your brain injury I am sure there are lots of things you don't understand. I will slow things down for you.

1 - I know that you and Sister Mary are planning something. That c^nt has been shiftier than usual. I don't know what it is but I know something is up between you two

2. The board hates gaysexuals and that will be your ultimate downfall. I will make sure of that.

3. Unless your plan is to come to the board meeting and spread your stupid all over them you have no change. Me and my man will get the loan!

I really want him to do that audio. Maybe if hates Pastor B enough he will get it done.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Good lord, but this guy is an idiot

Quote:

Have a blessed day I have alot of customers mails to attend to

Have a nice day

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 5:19 pm

I don't think he's going to do it.

Sister prods...

Quote:

Oh my dear sir who help me save all the orphans from predator pastor,

I fear pastor is trying to do something tricky to get loan from his gaysexual friends. Please you must act quickly or all will be lost. The board is planning on putting $100,000 down on the loan I hear so we lose out on great deal and so you must record quickly and do your best acting work as if you are in theater lie a master thespian and I think this will go well and you will be great hero here at orphan place.

Quote:

Oh my dear kind Mr Andile who be famous for rescuing orphans, have you any luck on recording or need I submit to evil pastor? Please say you help us. Little Orphan Nelson say now oh sister Mary doth thee hath receiveth in thy great glory of our nailed god the testimony of thy mr andile? See, the orphans talk about you all the time and you famous for helping save them so please let me knoweth the state of thy thingy kind sir!

I'm lowering the odds of him coming through at 10:1.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I don't know. He is still emailing Pastor B

Quote:

You and Elliot are gaysexual! Do you have kids? Do you have wife?

Quote:

You leave poor Eliot out of this. I think you have damaged that boy enough, don't you? It is obvious from your protestations that you are a flaming gaysexual and I will make sure the board knows this. So go back to giving your gaysexual handjobs for a nickel a pop on he street. You are finished you gaysexua idiot!!!!

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 12:52 am

Why is he now accusing Elliot of being gaysexual? I don’t think you ever insinuated that, did you?

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:05 am

Well, he didn't stick to the script. Told you he'd f it up.

Quote:

Dear sister Mary

The audio is ready okay

Audio here: http://chirb.it/ELIGgK

It's still hilarious, though Pastor's junk is safe for now as he didn't mention his method of punishment. Clearly he has to do this over.

I'd transcribe but his wussy voice is actually pretty clear. Not Hump.

Quote:

Oh my dear mr andile who come to save the orphans,

I receiveth you audio and I send it to my assistant Miss Connie as she know what to do with these things and all will be well but she tell me now that you not mention method of punishment and method of punishment must be castration or else pastor will only get kicked off of board but he will continue coming in my rectory and I just cannot have that anymore lest blesses blood of the holy realm be shed by that gaysexual hiv person. If you can record about pastor williams being castrated you help this old lady out tremendously and I think all will be well jsut then kind sir indeed!

And Sister to Pastor which she accidentally copied to our lad...

Quote:

Dear Pastor who be in charge of the board and the monies,

I hath prayed and I will indeed attend tomorrow meting but before we vote might I request there be a computer we can play audio and the speakers be set to high and let there be a translator for father guido sarducci and a monk to interpret for deaf father Melvin and if you could arrange for miss Connie to bring the large garden shears as well the ones that rusted in the rain last spring as I think they may be needed for something.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

He tried touching my pennies....

bwahaha

The fool did not say his name. I think he might be using voice altering software. And yes, he did fuck it up. No surprise there.

He sent two emails to Pastor B

Quote:

Pastor Williams you are a gaysexual with Elliot idoit

Quote:

I will disgrace before the board you gaysexual? Do you have a wife? Meaning you are not responsible! Gaysexual Williams I can't call u Pastor again! You have disgrace your self gaysexual idiot, go and repent idiot

Elite Baiter Joined: 30 Apr 2017 Posts: 1055

Lake Amour wrote:

he will continue coming in my rectory

From double entendres to euphemisms, this is all just too funny. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 3:51 am

What on earth is that? Is that his natural voice? It does sound like it could have been transformed through some software, but why would he need to do that? That seems too smart for a lad of this caliber. Of course he has to redo it, but what about some drawings? Maybe you could ask him to draw how Pastor Williams touched him or something like that, or simply describe in extensive details how Pastor Williams abused him and the other orphans; I'm not sure if that violates some Eater rule, but that would be hilarious.

I'm not sure if this lad is going to be the second Humphere, but this is definitely off to a great start, and I've had a pretty good track record over the last year or so figuring out which baits are going to blossom. I wish my baits had this level of double entendre, but then again, it just seems wrong for Father Nicodim to say such raunchy things...

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 12:07 pm

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:23 pm

The double entendres come from years of marriage, a Catholic school upbringing and just a creative mind. My wife has to put up with them daily, bless her soul. (In addition to the world's best job I have the world's best wife. How she puts up with me is baffling.)

The rectory line comes from the song "Priest" by Stephen Lynch. Worth you tubing. I think he's retired now as his last album sucked.

Our lad has promised a second recording.

Quote:

Okay I will

Quote:

And my dear savior lender,

Thee mustn't forget Ye name and you must say pastor did have sex with you since I think if he only tried he cannot be castrated but I think you know that for sure indeed my kind sir ye.

Am I bordering on an Eater rule? I'll review them.

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 4:09 pm

Hints of Humphere...

Quote:

Okay I will don't write me on the other subject remember it's a forwarded mail gaysexaual pastor Williams email is there!

So he will not be aware of our plans

God bless u

Quote:

Oh my dear sir you are correct that be very smart of you indeed. With haste dear sir as I can only delay the meeting for so long before pastor get impatient. I pray his bits and things shall only be intact for a few wee more hours indeed thanks to you great work kind sir. You are a master thespian I am sure from your voice and I pray you do excellent job and be most convincing.

I await the new audio. I'll send Miss Connie for the rusty garden shears now.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Lake, you have the rare talent of making the lads love your character. It's a gift I don't have. The lads usually end up hating my characters with a passion. I guess that's what makes us so good when we team up. Kind of a good cop/bad cop thing.

I can't wait to hear his new audio.

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:21 pm

I can certainly attest to that. There’s something about Sister Mary and Connie that just work for lads, especially when contrasted with more demanding characters like Penfold and Pastor Bob. Sometimes it’s nice to have the lads hate your character, especially when they have no other choice. The good cop/bad cop dynamic certainly works, especially when lads end up putting a lot of trust in one character. That’s what I liked a lot about the Humphere bait: when things were going wrong, he always had either Mr. Matthew or Connie to talk to. You two definitely have a good dynamic going here, and I’ll be watching to see if this matches the first bait. I’m still astonished that Lake’s first bait was such a smashing success; I think we all wish that our first baits involved Satan and safaris. But either way, I’m looking forward to the gaysexual audio and whatever zany things come next. It seems as if our lad has forgotten about the acting position open from him for earlier. Given his smashing performance with the first bit of audio, he’s a shoo-in for the job.

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 11:47 pm

Thank you for all your compliments. It's like a gaysexual lovefest here. Sister Mary is strictly a figment of my imagination and is not based on anyone in particular. She's just a sweetheart who I wanted to be likable. I wanted her to simply be an innocent victim. Same as Wolfie, maybe my favorite character. Perhaps he'll make an appearance later.

As for our lad, he's a complete moron. Pastor's junk is still safe. I'm starting to hate this lad.

Quote:

This is the punishment audio

Thanks we made it Good team

New audio: http://chirb.it/LH99e2

All of 45 seconds and he doesn't want Pastor castrated apparently. Stealing money from an orphanage, that's fine. Castrating a pedophile pastor, nope, too far in this lad's mind.

Damn.

Jayhawk, PM me again with how you want to proceed. I though he'd do better than this before giving him the loan. Now he's pissing me off.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

It sounds like a woman's voice to me.

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 11:58 am

Well, the plan was to give our lad the loan but after that weak effort, no way.

Things didn't go well at the meeting...

Quote:

Oh my dear Mr Andile who comes to save the orphans,

Nothing went right at our meeting I fear and I angry at you but alas I need you help as well. I play for the board you audio and I thought you were going to stick with the script but ye not say ye name and ye leaveth out the part about the castration!

Father guido sarducci say ah hah it be but a lie if he do not mention castration and thus it shan't be admitted!

And then evil pastor gaysexual say dear sister Mary I knew you were on to some things but ye not going to succeed and I going to make sure you penalized for this hah hah!

He may or may not have said the hah hah part but alas tis the way I recall his gaysexual accusations.

And so I locked in my room by evil pastor and thus needing you help since we making good teams thus far.

Please contact pastor and beg for my release. He think I conspiring against him and miss Connie locked in here as well.

Also, the board award loan to pastor's gaysexual friend because you audio not convinced enough and so miss Connie say you must quickly get new audio before the first payment is sent so we can get the board to realize their folly and reset the loan to you but quickly please as pastor is evil and we not sure if they be another key or not to this room and miss Connie need to use bathroom as it near her monthly bloodbath and not even I can help with that kind sir and so we needeth you help.

Quote:

Dear sister Mary

Okay I will but just forget about the loan! I will tell him to release you guys

We have alot of business to do OK

Like what? This lad is an idiot.

Quote:

Yes my kind sir but if not the loan what business? This be $100,000 down payment and I dare think ye boss not too happy bout losing that kind of money!

But for now please help as we still locked in room. Pastor gaysexual come in and say for penalty thus I shall not only violate your rectory but all you non rectores as well and also motor boat thy lady berries! Can Ye imagine! So please work fast and help and if Ye get more audio with thine scripts I sent than all will be perfect again! How shall I take care of orphans if I lock in here so please help with haste. Miss Connie say hello and good day kind sir.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 3:08 am

This lad is just plain dumb and I'm losing interest in him...

Quote:

Just forget about more audio let them open your door let us work together

Work together on what? You lost the loan you friggin genius.

Miss Connie and Sister Mary are locked in the room reminiscing.

Quote:

Oh my dear kind sir who think an I in team,

I trying my best to work as team but I am the only one doing any work! Miss Connie and I come up with list of all things you have not done!
- Sexual harassment paperwork
- Drug test paperwork
- Audio following the script to win loan
- Audio following script to get gaysexual pastor castrated and out of my rectory for good
- Convince gaysexual pastor to let us out of locked room
- Send Eliot birthday video song
- Send video of ye performing on stage and no not bon iver

That be alot of things ye not doing! So yea we make great team but I fear it be mostly me in team and because you not doing your part miss Connie and I locked in our room by gaysexual pastor and ye not making any help to get us out and now I not know what to do. Miss Connie and I just reminicing about all our time together and especially there was this one time we won lottery and another time she sang to me in hospital and this other time we help police catch criminal and this other time we pay people to read audio books to our childrean and we had very nice man read to us and pay him $12,000 as he was quite good, and this other time we had farmer jethro come save us from fallen tree and so we doing okay but pastor lock us in here and I fear there be no one to help us out of this predicament and so we need your help.

Miss Connie say hello and good day polite kind sir.

He seems very uncooperative. I'm not sure this is going anywhere. He's too dumb. I'm open to ideas.

Pastor B gets a loan for 5000 years audio page 6	View next topic View previous topic