Reverend Eze - "Sand Timer" & 4 Safari trips

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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 6:38 pm

That sounds good. You can send that email from Spock's account to me and Ezze if you want, and I'll add something else to that new email chain.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

okay, I'm writing something.

just noticed, that eze has again registered a new mail address (used with spok).

so, spok is using that new one...

EDIT: I have to admit, even I felt uneasy writing that mail:

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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:29 pm

Could you forward that email to me so I have Ezze's new email?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

1:30 am ezze to spok

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followed by:

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funny side note, I forgot to mention the title of the mail, spok sent to him, and where he replied: "the three stooges". just to add some fun.

so, today, he will have more fun Very Happy

EDIT:

today, ET got this mail:

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so... just now, I got a call from ezze/adesola, requesting that I should call back.

here's a problem, I really don't like to call. I want that BVN.

furthermore, I have a construction site next to me, and they are cutting steel or so, so it's LOUD.

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only after sending, I realized that I turned him into Dr. Adeola (missing the s in the middle).

EDIT, 18:30:

look here, such a lying scumbag.

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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 6:22 pm

Tightening the corkscrews a bit more. From Mikey:

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Have you heard the recent progress from Bishop Spook? They are stable, but nothing is working. It's like there are more and more and more things in them, no matter what we do. I can't even bear to watch the surgery; I don't know how Spock manages to do it. It's a bit sad actually: Louis's wife came with their young child, and their child, the sweetest thing, asked when Louis would be coming back home. I wasn't sure what to say other than that he would come home eventually when you save them. Do you want to know what Louis, Nancy, and Claude talk about while surgeons with tweezers pluck out little worms? They talk about you, how they're waiting for you to save them. We can have somebody else do the ritual, but the only way may be if you help. They are stable now, and will likely be stable for a while. But they can't keep living life from a hospital bed.

I don't like how Ezze's being so quiet, but he emails us every few days to let us know how things aren't working, so this works for now. I believe he said that he was going to go off and pray for a few days; whatever works for him I guess.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

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I want to add a disgusting cure into the bunch, and he needs to provide a video of him applying it.

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:20 pm

He's back, but what on earth is he talking about?

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Mikey, You see what the carelessness of your company has caused? How can a whole big company as you said TSC is failed to protect their database server and computer from being hacked from anybody after all we had seen during the America election were Russia hacked information. (Is this a common thing now that lads talk about?) this problem has been growing day by day or should i say i see nothing coming out of the whole thing. these is going to be a biggest warning to your company after this time you can still fail to upgrade your computer with hard antivirus. and i an still suspecting something that one of your worker is feeding peter with information's, if not how did he got to know what is going on and started throwing hacking virus? please tell your president to sent my money before i die because am seeing a lot things, and for ritual as soon as possible because i have asked alot of questions concerning and think there is solution once the money is available.Ezze

Mikey is very mad that Ezze is making such sweeping statements, and will respond later.

Edit: I wrote a very long response:

Quote:

Woah there, what the fuck are you talking about now? This isn't some Donald Trump and James Comey situation here; we fixed the antivirus issues weeks ago when Peter first started causing issues for us, so why are you suddenly bringing this up now? What are you even talking about? Did Peter say something to you again? You really do know that he's full of shit, right? We still have them on the hospital beds because nobody's doing anything, and you're focusing on some hacking viruses. Do you even know if it's a virus? What if he's using his magic to hack in our computers? That's why we didn't see the issue and we couldn't figure out exactly what happened. He's been fooling us all the while, that *DELETED* bastard! Seriously, Ezze, there's some creepy shit with all of this. You say there's a mole? Nah, HR would have found them by now; what I want to know is why WORMS ARE STILL CRAWLING OUT OF THEIR BODIES!?!?!?!! I can't make this shit up, Ezze. You're a few weeks behind all of this. And I've told you this before, while Peter's still out there hexing our employees, there's no way in fucking hell that we're sending money to anybody. We can't escalate this further. Do you remember what happened last time we did that, when the rendezvous in Cotonou was organized? Do you remember what happened, Ezze? You were there, you know. And Fabienne saw somebody in that cafe or wherever they met. And somebody was out there trying to steal the money then, and now they're emboldened. Peter's magic knows no bounds. Whatever fucked up shit he's doing with that pyramid and red powder or whatever, he's doing something. You can't say that we aren't installing the antivirus we need when you disappear for a week and come back with insults. You don't know what we're doing here, and I have no idea what you're doing either.

Tell me, Ezze. What things are you seeing? Has he cursed you too? He may not do the worm thing with you. Or maybe he will, and just make it slow. They may be feeding on you from the inside, Ezze. Feeding, feeding on you. What are you seeing? Any flashes of light? Something crawling through your vision? Fever? Headache? Stomach pains (those are the worms in your intestines). I don't want anybody to die here, Ezze. I want to kill that fucking bastard who's ruined our lives. I worry too that I am next; I've felt nothing yet, but I am still worried. We aren't going to let anybody walk away with the money. I was discussing this earlier with Matt, and he thinks that the money may be safer if he takes it to the Abuja parish. We can arrange that. It will be safe there with the priests there; Peter wouldn't dare to touch it. I'm copying him on this email too so he knows the current situation. Urgency is the key here, and as this matter grows more and more urgent, I can't say that we have a definite solution. I mean, I suggested one. You didn't take it. So then, we're looking for a plan B. We may have somebody else conduct the ritual, but I'm not going to have them waste time and money for something that needs a missing element to work. Nancy, Louis, and Claude are all groaning and in despair now. They want to know what is happening and why you have not saved them yet. Think about that. This is about them. This isn't a matter right now of which accountant forgot to install the Windows security updates or whatever, it's a matter of life or death.

I visited them this morning for an hour or so. Just watching them hooked up to an IV. I talked with them a bit. They're feeble, like I said, but still lucid. It's not my job to do this. When I was hired, I didn't sign up to be the bringer of bad news. But I took that position because I needed to. As almost the lone survivor, the one cursed with the fate of watching everything fall apart. Perhaps Peter knows this, and that's why he's leaving me alone. He's letting me be the person who is stressed out, constantly wondering if I'll wake up the next morning to hear that they're dead. I'm the one who makes the awkward phone calls and picks them up from the airport. It's depressing, you know. Riding a taxi back from the airport to the company with their siblings and their parents, having conversations about the weather, knowing that inevitably the topic will change to why they're stuck in a hospital bed. It really sucks, you know. I wonder if you'd be able to hold up just fine doing that every day. My weekends are still sometimes free, but everything is tainted with worry. I can't watch TV without wishing that my friends weren't stuck having worms pulled out of their butts or whatever. Food Network loses its charm when you see them eat spaghetti puttanesca and you think of worms and blood. I pay to have that streamed through my iPad. It isn't free. Really, it kind of ruins the experience. I don't want to watch Geoffrey Zakarian butcher a chicken and imagine surgeons with scalpels. Seriously, it loses its charm.

So tell me, Ezze. What's your master plan right now? I've talked enough about how I want to solve this problem, so what's your answer? And no, the answer will not be "send me the money". We aren't even thinking about that until we heal them. What's the plan?

The Manafort trial is today, if you follow American politics much.

Best,
Mikey

That should give him something to think about. I'll expect him to respond in a few days.

Edit: As it turned out, he responded quickly:

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What's your master plan right now! and what do you want me to do right now? how do you want me to solve this problem now? Ezze

Well, I'd say do a ritual, but let's suggest some other options too:

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We have a few options right now for how we can stop him, as far as I can tell:
1. You build a pyramid that is a replica of his (the one in the picture that you sent me before) with an Eye of Horus at the top instead of the current one. I can give you his pyramid's approximate dimensions. You then pour anointing oil on the top, set it on fire, and recite some prayers. This will heal them by stopping Peter's magic.
2. You conduct a ritual like the one I described before.
3. You somehow find exactly where Peter is, go there, and kill him.

I do not think you will like any of these options, but we do not have much alternative. Tell me which option you think will be easiest for you.

Good luck,
Mikey

Out of all of these options, I really was not expecting him to be so enthusiastic for 3:

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The 1 and 2 will cost money and i do not have money to do it. 3 i don't know where to get that bastard because if i do i will go and kill him. i have told Matt to give me peter picture but they said they don't have it. I want to know him very well so when working i won't be afraid. if i know him better for me to strike him because i believe he might be somewhere in this lagos. Ezze

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i have blocked him from my email and i new he has no idea of my new gmail.

Interesting theory...

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Here is the picture that I have of him that you sent me earlier:
*picture*
He looks very generic, and he may be using disguises and magic to find you. You say that you think he is in Lagos? Have you seen him before? Where do you think he is in Lagos? It's a big city.

I have an idea as well on how you can find him: we think that Peter Osooja runs a 419 gang. Set up an email address that looks like it's from a scammer and email him asking for jobs. Work up through the ranks, and you may be able to find where he is based, or arrange a meeting with him. He is smart, but he won't suspect this coming. Do you think that plan could work? How do you think we could get Peter to reveal his address? I know we have fought before, but let's try and work with this plan now. Sounds good?

No response to this one other than asking for permission to view the picture, which I granted. The picture doesn't show up on the forum if you google it, nor does his name, so we should be good. Hopefully he's trying to ask everyone he knows if they've seen the man in the picture. He may go to the police or something if he's desperate, but they'll laugh him off.

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 9:59 am

Robert Heinrich der 1. wrote:

I want to add a disgusting cure into the bunch, and he needs to provide a video of him applying it.

Maybe this classic "cure" from Howard Hawks' classic Western El Dorado?

Cayenne pepper, hot mustard powder, ipecac, asafoetida, and croton oil.

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 2:52 pm

Nothing from him so far, but I may send him an email later clarifying our progress.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

I had a few issues, that consumed most of my attention.

so...

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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 11:07 pm

He’s been silent to me, and I see no reason to prod him again for a bit.

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 6:58 am

I'm back!

Something new in recent weeks, or can we think this story is closed?

Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 7:02 am

This very fun story began in April 2017 and lasted for 17 months (until August 2018).
- The intrigue was based on a religious story, with the well-known Church of the Holy Lamb (MUIE church).
- To be able to get the church money, our "reverend" Eze Emmanuel (from Lagos) had to meet all sorts of conditions... there have been several events over these months, and none of them was in favor of Eze.
- "Reverend" Eze traveled many times to Benin (Cotonou) to take over a parcel full of money and electronic products (laptops, phones, etc.).
- He also produced a lot of very funny trophies: "travel" photos, "religious" photos, "legalized" official letters, 18 handwritten prayers (Latin), funny video clips, many identity papers, religious themes drawings, etc.

Video trophies:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNKF-xzF-PE
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IJtLV3TKPQ
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GPze6CohLA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g9PL-pYveQ
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIcwXw7dgbQ
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0gt7XuKsp8
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbxJfOcKXqQ
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3us0U2WZCSU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ShQJb-34ds
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4da6n-os9go

The lad characters:
- Christine Lagarde (IMF Managing Director)
- Eze Emmanuel (Reverend)

Our characters:
- father Nicodim (assistant of MUIE church Secretary) - MrMystery314
- Mikey Neuberry (assistant of Claude Postumier) - MrMystery314
- Matt Eagle (driver at Escargo courier company and bishop of MUIE church) - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- Vitello Tonatto (regional manager at Escargo courier company) - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- Arthur Artie Muggelbaum (big boss at Escargo courier company) - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- bishop Voolcanio Spock - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- sister Marla Bundo (bishop Voolcanio Spock's assistant) - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- journalist James Richard Clarkson - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- Peter Osouja (african crook) - Robert Heinrich der 1.
- Reverend Eduard (MUIE church Chancellor) - me
- Georgian Minhaturan (Eduard's assistant) - me
- cardinal Euphrosie (MUIE church leader) - me
- cardinal Gherasim (MUIE church leader) - me
- father Nektarie (MUIE church Secretary) - me
- father Elephterie (MUIE church Secretary) - me
- Claude Postumier (customer care manager at TSC) - me
- Qesha Kooni (Niger regional manager at TSC) - me
- Akwoodi Osuaze (Benin regional manager at TSC) - me
- Baba Samala (TSC Niger driver) - me
- Joojoo Amoulani (TSC Benin driver) - me
- Abraham Eliazar (TSC Lawyer) and Marry-Ann Stanford (TSC Legal Department secretary) - me
- some unnamed terrorists from Akwoodi's gang ("the Joojoos") - me
- Ebiere Anoundu (bank account officer) - me
- Blessing Ibe (another bank account officer) - me
- Fabienne Kokoura (Benin regional manager at TSC) - me
- Nancy DoLorres (TSC accountant) - me
- Louis de Funes (TSC Senior accountant) - me

I want to thank to my colleagues: MrMystery314 and Robert Heinrich der 1... Their replies have played an important role in the success of this story. Thank you! clapping

I also want to thank all those who have read the story and who have come up with tips and ideas... Thank you, all of you!

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 6:59 am

Brilliant work, Birlic, as always. I love the depth of characters you created for him, the key to long baits. I especially love the four safaris.

Nice work.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

What an amazing assortment of trophies! Very Happy

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Jul 2018 Posts: 4

Oh Crap

After 2 months of reading, I just caught up with this thread and was going to suggest that Fabienne contact Ezze and tell him she forgives him and she's pregrant with his child (from that passionate night). But it looks like it's all over. Laughing

What a read this was. You people are really dedicated Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

This has been an awesome bait, gentlemen. Hope you enjoyed your vacation Birlic. Good to see you back.

Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 7:00 am

True Eater classic, amazing job by Birlic and all baiters involved! I think it's safe to say this bait deserves to be inducted into EGH.

Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 3:28 pm

I suppose it's my time to share my thoughts...
When I asked Birlic if I could join the bait 9 months ago, I really wasn't sure what to expect. A few other baits that I was working on had all finished up, and I was bored and looking for something to do. But, I figured that church baiting could be fun, plus I also saw potential in the bait. After Mr. Humphere being inducted into Greatest Hits 3 months prior, I wondered if I could go 2 for 2. And thus I did my usual thing and simply asked politely if Birlic wanted any help. I was pleasantly surprised when he said yes. I really think people should play a more active role in their favorite baits besides simply spectating; it's a lot more fun, and having more people allows new ideas to surface and enables the bait to move in new directions. Anyway, Father Nicodim was introduced, and my new afternoon diversion was created: every day on my afternoon commute, I had time to to talk to Eze. It was almost therapeutic in a way, clearing my mind by pretending to be a Romanian clergyman. Considering that is the polar opposite of who I actually am, it was quite interesting, especially as his character developed according to my whims and whatever would manipulate Eze. Sure, I ended up sternly lecturing him more often than not about his neglect of the church, but sometimes it was more mundane; Nicodim was a fan of Star Wars (best evidenced by his saying "I find your lack of faith disturbing"), and when he was on vacation, he sent frequent updates to Eze complaining about his cousin's driving.
Despite all of this, I think Birlic is overstating my impact a bit. Was my character successful, whatever that means? I would say yes, he was. Could the bait have succeeded without Nicodim and Mikey Neuberry? Yes, I have no doubt in Birlic's creative genius that he could have easily created those characters himself. I have full faith that this brilliant masterpiece of a bait could have been done without me. It may have lost some of its ingenuity, especially toward the end where everything started to fall apart, but it would have still been brilliant. When I asked to join this bait, 9 months ago, I'd like to think that I saw the potential. I'd like to think that I saw the next Humphere. And Eze wasn't a Humphere, that rare unicorn of a lad, but he was definitely special in his own way. Any lad that safaris 4 times to the same location, is convinced that there's somebody out there using a pyramid to cast evil spells, who fills out hundreds of forms, who gets a baptism in milk and honey only to quit the church a few weeks later, who spends countless hours getting documents notarized, and still stuck around for more; now that is a special lad.
I definitely have gotten a bit sidetracked while writing this, so once again, thank you to the rest of Team Eze for a wonderful bait, and let's go for Greatest Hits!

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 8:04 am

End of August 2018

Just for fun and as a last attempt to close this story in a fun way, after a very long summer vacation, manager Claude comes up with very good news. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Ezze Emmanuel, I have some good news!

That villain Peter was captured and now he offers information about all his accomplices. It seems that the police finally managed to destroy the Akwoodi band.

Our colleague Fabienne is pregnant and the baby is doing very well. I wish to congratulate you for being a happy father!

High management level of TSC decided that all expenses incurred by the birth of this child should be borne by the protocol fund of the Abuja branch.

The company also decided to offer you the opportunity to work with us as assistant-manager and to take over all Fabienne's responsibilities throughout her stay at home with the new born baby (9-12 months).

Together with your appointment, I think you will also be able to receive the blessing of the church. The Bishop Eagle offered to officiate the baptismal ceremony of your unborn baby.

I am convinced that these wonderful news will delight you enormously!

Claude

I hope to get a last, violent reaction of indignation and anger from him! Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Jul 2018 Posts: 4

Birlic wrote:

End of August 2018

Quote:

I wish to congratulate you for being a happy father!

Ha! Love it! Laughing

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:45 am

^^^ LOL!

Yeap, your idea seemed very funny clapping

, so I used it.
Unfortunately, the idiot still did not respond to my message.

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 10:35 am

Well, our idiot did not answer my last message.
It seems like this funny story is really over.
The thread can be closed by the moderators.

For us (Eze team) it was a pleasure to collaborate and have fun with this idiot.
For me, this story means also my first successfuly Safari... the fact that we managed to send our Eze 4 times in the same Safari place (Cotonou, Benin) is further proof of the success of this story.

If you liked it, we're glad!

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 11:12 am

Keep the fool updated on the birth and send his regular reports on the baby's health, along with requests to provide child support; see if that can cause a meltdown.

Elite Baiter Joined: 30 Apr 2017 Posts: 1055

Mr.Patrick Eagle.
Head Of Foreign Delivery Department(DECS)

The chap above is going to be delivering my $1.5 million ATM card, just wondering is he any relation to Matt?

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