Pastor B gets a loan for 5000 years audio page 6

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

When I do my baits I like to start off kinda silly and then move on to full blown silliness. I lose some lads this way, but I do manage to snag some of the dumber ones.

This bait is in it’s early stages and involves a loan lad and Pastor B, the head of an orphanage located in a ghost town in Nevada.

Hello
Do you need an urgent loan?

* Business Loan
* Personal Loan
* Educational Loan
* Payment of bills etc

If Yes please email us now

I do not need an urgent loan but the Orphanage sure could use one. Please tell me more.

Pastor William B

We receive your mail and it's well understood OK
Please fill out the below information to enable us start up the processing...

Name:.......
Country:......
State:........
Amount Needed:....
Loan Duration:....
Home Address:....
Office Address:....
Monthly Income:......
Phone Number :......
Are you on Viber or WhatsApp:.....
If not please download Whatsapp messenger on your mobile phone for
effective and efficient communication during our business period

Your swift reply is needed OK

God bless u

Best Regards

Mr. L. Andile
Accountant Manager

Pretty standard stuff so far

Tell me the repayment details. We are a non-profit orphanage looking to upgrade our facilities.

Dear Pastor Williams

We receive your mail and it's well understood okay we know that it's
not a non profit organization for us to give the repayment details we
know you or the Organization representative to fill out the Loan Form
so we can give a detailed repayment calculation!

Thanks for your understanding, we are waiting for your filled out Loan Form

Something about this one sounds familiar. I’m starting to get some serious Humphere vibes from this lad. My Pastors name is William B. not Mr. Williams. Humphere made the same mistake.

If you aren’t familiar with Mr. Humphere I suggest you get yourself a bottle of wine, set aside a weekend and read this classic. https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=284110 This was Lake’s first bait and we caused Mr. Humphere untold pain for about 8 months. Could this be Humphere?

I do not understand

Repayment and loan calculation as base on the duration you desire to be fit to pay back and secondly our loan rate percentage is 3% interest rate okay please out the loan form I sent for you!

The Loan Amount and the Loan duration then we can give you a show repayments details okay

Give your whatsapp number so our communication can be more effective

God bless u

At this point I have got him off script rather early, but he still wants that damn form filled out. I’m not really into filling out forms, so we will ignore that for now.

I think 3 million dollars is the amount the orphanage needs to borrow. Will that be a problem?

Dear Pastor Williams

There will not be any problem our loan ranging from $5,000:00 to $10,000000:00
Fill this out
Name:.......
Country:......
State:........
Amount Needed:....
Loan Duration:....
Home Address:....
Office Address:....
Monthly Income:......
Phone Number :......
Are you on Viber or WhatsApp:.....

Your swift reply is needed OK

Best Regards

He really wants a phone number. Let’s nip that in the bud.

What is Viper and WhatsUP? Please explain.

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for your mail it's well understood Whatspps messenger is Mobile
App which you can download on your Google Play Store or Apple Store
then register it with your mobile number then give us the mobile
mobile go we can add you up for quick message and update fast and
reliable OK

God bless u

And, because I did not respond quick enough for him

Dear pastor Williams

Download it register it and give us your mobile number so we can add u
up in our customer service

Best Regards

I do not have a mobile phone as they have been shown to cause cancer. Will that be a problem?

Dear Pastor Williams

Okay there is no problem it's would have been very comfortable for you to get a mobile phone so that our business transaction will be very fast!

It's okay you have a mobile phone number put it on the whatsApps number colon

Fill out the form now so we can proceed immediately

Best Regards

Getting cancer is not "comfortable" for me. If that is an issue kindly let me know now and I will find another loan source.

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for your mail please understand us there is no issue with that we are fully at your service OK

Fill the form Out

Name :........................
Country:.......................
State........... .................
Loan Amount:....................
Loan Duration :................
Phone number:...................

Two guarantors

Name:
Country:
Email Address

2)
Name
Country
Email Address

God bless u

He is partially off script but he is sticking to wanting the form filled out. I will continue to ignore that request.

What is a guarantor?

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for your mail guarantor are people that know your personality okay They can be your church member or member of the orphanage organisation

All of the orphans know me and can speak to my personality.

Dear pastor Williams

Okay well noted

Full-out Now

Okay, let’s start getting a little bit silly

Can we make it $5 million instead of $3 million? I would like to include a bowling alley for the orphans in the construction.

Dear pastor Williams

Yes it's well noted

Loan Amount: $5,000000:00

Loan Duration :..................

Country:.... . .........

State:. .................

Phone number:...............

Fillout it let proceed now

I’ve got to get him off that damn form

Can we make it $5,500,000 instead? The nuns need a new sauna.

Okay what is the loan duration 3,4 or 10years and your phone number?

What is the longest we can get a loan for?

10,000000:00

And the longest length of time for repayment? Can I do 100 years?

repayment is between one to 50years

I apologise. I misspoke earlier. In going over our finances with Sister Mary I am afraid we will need a loan term of 500 years at a minimum. I apologize for wasting your time.

God Bless

Sorry it's was a typing error

Short term loan 1-10 years
Medium Term Loan 12-100 years
Long Term Loan 200-600 years

Please we are sorry for the first mail we are at your financial service OK

We are waiting for your urgent response

God bless u

Once again I do not respond fast enough so I get another email

Dear pastor Williams

We are 100% at your service espically the fact that the loan is to be
used for humanity orphanage you don't know to contact any other
financial institutions, The Board of Trustee just approved your loan
request, they are also supporting the Orphanage building with
$500,000:00 as a free will offers some you can also take care of
beloved whom are homeless

The Bible says: it's more blessed to give then to receive!!

God bless u

Best Regards

Brother Andie

This was all in day 1. On the one hand I cannot believe this could possibly be Humphere, as nobody could be this stupid. On the other hand, everything about these emails has me convinced I am dealing with Humphere once again. He calls me Mr. Williams, he's dumb as a post and he tends to respond within fifteen minutes of my emails. Could he have already forgotten Pastor B from the Beaver Island bait? And Sister Mary? I guess we shall see.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Day 2

Oh such wonderful glorious news. You have made my day. I would like to get the loan for $10,000,000 if possible for a term of 900 years. With that money we can do the repairs to the orphanage, build the children their bowling alley, get the nuns their sauna and bring our orphan theater to state of the art. Many of our orphans are quite into theater, especially musical theater. Just past summer young Elliot got the lead in something called Rocky Horror Picture Show. He played some sort of hot dog character, I'm really not sure. I am 89 years old and my heart is not in the best condition so I did not see it, as while it may be the rage with all the kids these day I'm afraid this old heart can't take anything scarier than the Hardy Boys. Are you a fan of musical theater? Have you ever done any performances?

At least I got him off that damn form request. And I dropped the name Elliot. Surely he couldn’t have forgotten poor dead Elliot already.

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for mail it's well understood we are at your service OK it's
well noted $10,000000:00 Long term loan for 900 Years
And registerred

The processing begins immediately without no form of delay OK!

Best Regards

God bless u

And
Dear pastor Williams

We received your loan request of $10,000000:00 under the stated time of long term Loan of 900years it's well noted and registered

Your loan check will be posted to you along with our free will donation of $500,000:00 Okay

Noted: You are to pay $5,000 for the payment fee of the Loan $10,000000:00

Thanks for your understanding

God bless u

We are waiting for your urgent response OK

Bless you. I need to ask, are you a Mr. or a Miss? Also, you did not answer my question about musical theater. Are you a fan? Have you ever performed? I sure hope so, as the children will be so excited if the money was coming from a former performer. They do love their theater. I dare say, but we might have another Neil Patrick Harris in our midst.

Your friend
Pastor B

Dear pastor Williams

Yes I'm Mr., I'm a fan and a former preformer too okay we send you the loan calculation shortly as the terms and conditions OK!

God bless u

Hello Mr. Andile (or is it Miss Andile. You never did tell me)

What is the $5,000 for? Also, as a former performer do you have any advice I can pass on to the young orphans looking to make a future in musical theater? I told them all about you and they are most impressed. Many of them even appeared Star struck.

Your friend
Pastor B

Dear Pastor Williams

The $5,000 it's for the processing fee of your loan Okay!

Help me tell the kids that the future is bright

Once you make the payment now we send you the loan check immediately so that the project can comment as soon as possible

Thank for your understanding

Best Regards

Hello Sir or Miss Andile. How much is our repayment and do we need to make it monthly or quarterly?

Dear pastor Williams

The repayment will be on yearly base due to the fact it's a long term loan

You have to pay every year $15,000:56
Number of Years..................900
Cumulative payments...... $13,500,504:00

Thanks for your understanding

God bless u

Best Regards

Mr. Andile

That is wonderful news. When I told the orphans about you and the loan and the fact that you used to be a performer they couldn't stop peppering me with questions.

Specifically they want to know:

Are you a Sir or a Miss?
What musicals have you been in?
Were you ever on Broadway?
Why did you leave the stage?
What was your favorite role to sing?

I hope you don't mind all the questions, but the orphans are quite taken with you. I told them you said the future was bright and they all got big smiles on their faces. Young Elliot in particular seems to be especially taken with you. That child is something else.

Thank you for answering my questions. The children wait with baited breath.

Pastor B

Dear pastor Williams

Yes I'm Sir (Mr. Andile)

I have been in Yolanda Adams gospel music Any way let go down to business! When are you going to make the payment now $5000?

Mr. Andile I am very disappointed in you and your rude behavior. In order to get that kind of money I will need the formal approval of the Board of Directors. I have received oral confirmation from many of them, and I have the votes to get this formally approved, however I cannot send the money until I receive formal approval at the Board meeting that is scheduled to take place next week. Until I get that formal approval I am unable to send you the $5,000.

Now in terms of your rude tone. I would like to advise you that I have in the past stopped business relations and refused large donations to the orphanage based simply on the bad manners of the individual involved. I consider your behavior to be bad mannered and am seriously considering looking elsewhere for my loan. I get the sense that you do not care at all for the orphans and are simply out to make a buck.

The ball is in your court. Prove to me that you are the hero the young orphan Elliot says you are.

Dear Pastor Williams

Please I'm very sorry for the rude manner please forget okay your mail is very understood we are going to send you the approval document okay

Then we can also wait next week until you get the final approval to make the payment OK!

Please I'm very sorry for the manner we are at your service there no need for another loan source we are a capable

Thanks

I accept your apology. At the request of young Elliot I have attached a video of his performance in the Silver Peak Orphanage production of Hedwig. Elliot was very proud of this performance so if you could take a look and tell him how wonderful you think it is I would greatly appreciate it. The young man is quite taken with you.

(No file was attached)

This is Humphere. I am convinced of it. He responds very well to the tiniest slap, just like Humphere

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

I must say the terms of that loan are simply too good to pass up!

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 1:35 am

Could this be the return of Mr Hump Here? It sounds like it, but I'm surprised that he didn't end up being suspicious of the name Elliot. Has Sister Mary's orphanage moved to Nevada? I don't remember Humphere using the word OK or Okay so much, but I do admit that this lad shares some similarities in temperament. Even if it isn't Humphere, this lad does look fun. I'm definitely around, and Lake pops in fairly frequently; should we begin reuniting Team Humphere? Mr. Matthew, Mr. Newberry, or even Father Nicodim are available at some point if needed.

Have you asked for his picture? Humphere's hair is very distinctive, and we know how much he cares for it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The more I think about it the more I am convinced that this is Humphere. Too many coincidences. Whenever I threaten to cancel the loan he comes sniveling back, much like he did whenever he was slapped by Penfold. I'm surprised hasn't made the Pastor B, Sister Mary, Elliot connection, but he always was slow to recognize the obvious. MrM, once I get further along with him I'll bring you and Lake in. We'll need to come up with different characters though, but I guess we could use Sister Mary again. She could always be transferred to a different orphanage. After what she went through it would be entirely understandable to move far away from Beaver Island.

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 2:29 am

Sounds like a plan to me! I typically try to reuse the same 2 or 3 email accounts for all of my baits, but I may have to make an exception for this one. At the very least, Justin Matthew gives a ton of results, even if you add things like Humphere. Could Feathers maybe come back? Out of all of the characters from the old bait, he seems like the only one that could logically sneak in and make mischief. One idea that could be fun: Feathers uses Satanic magic to disguise himself as a different orphan and got himself adopted by the orphanage again, vowing to take revenge on Mr. Humphere should he ever return. Feathers could easily return under a different name, with the same speech mannerisms (or at least similar enough to arouse suspicion from an observant Humphere), only to reveal himself at the perfect opportunity.

I definitely think we should take it slow for now, as long as we get him off script again. Or by slow, I mean not introducing too much Satanism or whatever until we are certain he's hooked again; I can't believe that I'm bringing up things like Feathers using Satanic magic like it is normal in every bait. I plan on going full bombs away on him and responding to him as much as possible (when I have free time, which I have a surprising amount of) because he likes that special attention, and because talking with him (or any lad like him) beats watching reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway?.

Gosh, this lad is so complacent. Are you asking the questions about singing because we want more Mr. Humphere singing, especially after he sent us his god-awful "African hip hop"? That sounds fun to me. But I feel as if we could have Mr. Humphere record a series of cooking videos and he'd be perfectly fine with it, or anything that outrageous. I don't want to burn this bait early because we take things too far too quickly and he double checks the names and thinks "Hey, wait a minute!". But still, I do have to admit I did a little dance when I saw the first post and thought "I've seen this lad before..." without even seeing your thoughts. We can do this! Sequels are often worse than the originals, but maybe we can buck that trend.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I thought I might have lost him yesterday as he did not quickly return my email, but nope. He's still on board

What is your banking information. I will need that to present to the board.

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for your mail it's well understood, Our loan fee are paid by customer via world remit or western union money transfer!

Please my warn regards to young Elliot he is A Star I really appreciate u and the board for such!

God bless u

Yea! I got him to compliment Elliot! And he appreciates us!

Could this really be Humphere? Could any one person really be this stupid? He has to remember the hell we put him through previously, right?

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 3:16 pm

^Maybe you caused him so much lad-pain that his mind had to suppress the memory.

Or maybe he just is that super stupid.

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 3:34 pm

Speaking as somebody who baited him, yes, he is that super stupid. There was one time where we gave him the code name "Loaded Creampie;" he knew what that meant, and even asked us about it, but once we came up with some justification he was completely fine with it. The first hypothesis works too. If you haven't already, check Greatest Hits for that thread; it's truly something special.

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:15 pm

^I didn't read it yet. I have set aside my sunday for it however. I started on it during lunch break at work but realized that was not a good idea. I'd end up reading all of it for the rest of the day.

He does however sound like something special. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I am now leaning towards the opinion that this is not Humphere but someone that is actually dumber than Humpher, if that is at all possible. My arguments for it being Humphere:

-The tone of his emails are the same.
-He responds within minutes of every email, unless it is a question he really doesn't want to answer, then he requires a gentle nudge. Humphere was the same way
- He is incredibly stupid, just like Humphere, but like Humpere he thinks he is really smart
- Like Humphere he responds well to the tiniest of slaps and sucks up big time to those in power.
- He really wants his money sent via Western Union. I know, all lads want this, but he is being overly pushy on it. I am of the opinion that Humphere didn't make it back to Lagos. He not only had Mr. Bingo waiting there to kill him but I'm thinking he also had quite a few folks he borrowed money from that he couldn't repay. Throw in the idea that he was probably evicted from his house for non-payment of rent and I am of the opinion that he moved in with a friend in some other town. Thus he probably does not have access to the bank account he gave over and over to those of us that were baiting him
- He calls me Mr Willaims. My character is William B. Humphere did the same thing, calling me by my first name and adding an "s" on the end.
- Like Humphere he seems to include religion in his emails
- His advice to Elliot the aspiring Broadway star is similar to his advice Humphere gave Elliot (May he RIP) the 9 year old orphan

My thoughts on why this is not Humphere:

-This lad is using gmail. Humphere liked zoho and protonmail. He never used gmail with any of us as far as I know. He certainly didn't use it with any of my characters.
- We destroyed his life. I mean, we really destroyed his life. There is no way in Hell he could forget our characters and what we did to him, and if it is Humphere I have no doubt that his temper would have got the best of him and I would have received an angry email. Humphere has a temper. Here are the last few emails he sent to Penfold:

Quote:

HOW CAN A POOR MAN LIKE YOU WRITE A CHECK, I SWEAR YOUR MOTHER MUST BE DISAPPOINTED AT YOU,YOU WILL SURFER TILL YOU DIE, HOW I WISH I CAN LOOK STRAIGHT INTO YOUR EYES AND TELL YOU HOW GOOD FOR NOTHING YOU ARE. , LIKE MOTHER L;IKE SON, THAT YOUR MOTHER THAT EVERY IDIOT IN THE STREET HAS SLEPT WITH? GOD PUNISH YOU FOR SAYING I CASH THAT YOUR STUPID CHECK, MUUMU

and

Quote:

MY IDIOT YOU REMEMBER THAT CURSE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT? TODAY I RETURN IT AND REVERSE IT TO YOU. IT ALL BELONG TO YOU NOW , I DECLARE IN JESUS NAME THAT FROM TODAY YOUR CURSE AND EVERYTHING THAT WILL COME FROM YOU ARE CURSE, ALL MY CHALLENGES MY BAD AND MY BAD SIDE NOW BELONG TO YOU, I AM FREE NOW AND YOU WILL SURFER MY SURFER AND YOU AND YOU HOUSE HOLD WILL DIE ON IT, FOR YOUR INFORMATION THE DELIVERY COMPANY SAID THEY HAVE THE PACKAGE NOW HOW CAN I CASH THE CHECK WHEN THAT YOUR STUPID DELIVERY COMPANY HAS THE STUPID PACKAGE? FOOL, I DECLARE YOU YOU CURSE FROM TODAY, YOU HAVE CARRIED ALL MY BAD FROM TODAY AND SO SHALL IT BE.

And this one from a Ghanan prince a few months later who I am convinced was Humphere. This one came after Penfold said he was looking to get money to finance his bid for Governor (This one is probably NSFW)

Quote:

DON'T YOU EVER EMAIL ME AGAIN , YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON YOUR MISERABLE LOW LIFE AND ASK YOUR MOTHER TO WASH HER SMELLING P*SSY WELL BECAUSE THE LAST FOOL THAT F*CK HER SAYS IT IS SMELLING

Humphere remembers our characters. I dated a bat-poop crazy girl over 30 years ago and I can still remember the crazy things she did. Our characters are the same with Humphere. If this is Humphere I am baiting I have no doubt that he would have responded to Pastor B (who is supposedly dead) with a string of obscenities. We baited him for close to 7 months (I think). Those of us involved know him quite well.

I guess we shall see how this one plays out.

Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:15 am

I remember you posting the email from the "Ghanaian Prince" sent from Humphere's account, so that was definitely him.

My thoughts on your pros and cons:
I'm still of the belief that this is Humphere, as there are too many similarities for it to be a coincidence. Sure, a lot of lads love Western Union and call people by first instead of last names, but it's hard to emulate his unique brand of intelligence/stupidity, and not many lads respond so quickly in general. And even more in favor of this being Humphere, very few lads are so compliant and apologetic this early in the script. Unless there's a Humphere School of 419 in Nigeria somewhere, I don't think any other lad would act like this. As for why he switched from protonmaill, two things. One, do you remember if the original email Lake found him with was protonmail? I think it may have been a Gmail account that he used before he went fully off script.

Also, he may have had a chance to do some thinking after that complete disaster as to how it happened and what went wrong. I'm thinking that he may have thought that protonmail looked too suspicious and switched to Gmail. Or he's gotten lazier, or simply lost the passwords to his old accounts; I remember the accounts being disabled when we poked him last year. If somehow he thought that we hacked his protonmail accounts, and he observed that we all used Gmail, he maybe decided to make a switch. Who knows. If I'd realized that people who I trusted with my deepest secrets for many months were all conspiring against me, I'd switch things up a bit. Maybe he thought that we would know it was him if we got protonmail emails again, although that's too smart of a thing for him to do.

But still, this begs the question of why he isn't immediately suspicious of our characters. It could be that in his mind, Pastor Bob wasn't involved with the majority of his suffering, as if I recall correctly he left the bait before all of the weird stuff happened. In an attempt to rationalize what happened, he may blame this on Penfold, Mr. Matthew, and Feathers for somehow working together to ruin his life. To him, everyone else was simply an unwitting accomplice. Still, I remember that Humphere had a very good memory for what happened to him. I still have his 25 pages of court testimony somewhere. How could he have forgotten all of that? Is he that stupid? Does he realize we're messing with him, but is playing along because he thinks he can outsmart us?

And for the record, it was only about 5 months that he was actually being baited thoroughly, with the last month of that mainly being whining and rants. Either way, there is no way that he could have forgotten all of that, unless he really is that stupid. The only way to find out is to keep baiting him, because even if this isn't Humphere, this lad seems like a worthy successor.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

And I got my first bank account from him

Dear pastor W

Below is the banking information! After the payment we need you or the board to send us payment receipt for verification and confirmation

Bank name: Chase Bank
Acc Name: Sxxxxxx Pxxxx LLC
Acc No. 29yyyyyyy
Routing No. 11yyyyyy

If this is Humphere he now has access to a U.S. bank account. This is the first bank account that is an LLC that I have received. (LLC stands for Limited Liability Corporation.)

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Pastor B pushes for answers

Hello Mr. Adele. Thank you so much for the banking information. I will put the package together for the board this evening and I will make sure and include it.

I have to tell you about what happened at the orphanage today. Our regular musical director Pastor John was out sick so I had to supervise the orphans in their rehearsals. They are doing a production of Fiddler on the Roof and they are oh so excited. They had a hard time rehearsing though, as they could not stop asking me questions about you and your musical theater career. They kept asking me questions over and over. Were you on Broadway? Is there any video of your performances online? Why did you leave the theater? Did you enjoy your time in the theater? What was the favorite role you played? The little imps couldn't concentrate long enough to rehearse I tell you. They are smitten with you, especially the young orphan Elliot. He talks about you and his eyes just glaze over. I think you have a fan (lol)! Your words of encouragement meant the world to him. Could you possibly answer their questions? At the end of rehearsal they stated they would not rehearse anymore until they knew more about you.

Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:48 pm

Looks promising so far! Thinking about it, I'm 75% sure this is Humphere and 25% sure this is just a really stupid lad. We'll find out soon I am sure.

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2018 2:59 am

I can't imagine this is Hump. As stated above, we destroyed him. In the end, the only character he believed was still real was Sister Mary, so any mention of her should be a dead giveaway. Plus how could anyone forget WHO did all that stuff to him? And he looooved Eliot. Loved him! There's no way he would forget that. And remember he thinks we killed his pregnant wife!

If it is Hump, he is the absolute dumbest lad ever, or he isn't reading the entire email.

Since that bait, Sister Mary has emailed Hump's protonmail address once a month in hopes of reconciliation. None have ever bounced, but he's not responded either.

No, Hump never used a gmail address to any of my characters in that bait, though I'll go double check.

FWIW, Sister Mary already had to relocate from Beaver Island. Every bait I've used her in since Hump, I think the lads googled her and Beaver Island and ended up right here and I lost out on a lot of baits as they immediately labeled her a joker. (How rude, right?) So I moved her to an undisclosed location and she has had more success since.

ETA - I don't see any gmail from Hump. The original email to Sister Mary in that bait was from outlook.

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2018 2:57 pm

Those are fair points, but still, I feel as if it's easier to explain the differences than the similarities. It's a lot more likely that Humphere simply switched to Gmail than another lad being so submissive and sounding exactly like him. I can't explain why he would come back even after we spent 5 months tormenting him, however. Maybe desperation. Maybe he passed our email on to one of his friends. Also, I really doubt there are many lads dumber than Humphere, especially ones who use similar phrasing and have a similar personality. In either case, this still looks like it has potential for something fun, and I kind of hope this is Humphere so we can put him through round 2 of hell on earth. According to Humphere, he's already "seen hell" once when his keyboard caught on fire, so this time let's make it a bit more personal. And even if this isn't Humphere, we'll give him the same VIP treatment.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dear Pastor Williams

Thanks for your mail, it's well understood How was the board meeting
yesterday? What are u going to make the payment? So that the Loan
check can be programmed immediately!

Once again Happy Sunday to you and the full orphanage home!

In regards to Young Eliot question and the full children and Rev John,
The future is bright I'm a lover of children, I'm not really a full
preforming artist but I love music too!
And children tanet show performance Okay!

I'm so glad to be a partner with you and the full board of Peak Orphanage home

My warms Regards to all the children
God bless u

Your swift reply is needed

Best Regards

Mr. Andile

He is confused on when the board meeting is. Today is Sunday so Pastor B will not be responding until next week. By the end of the week he should be sick of hearing about young Elliot's mancrush on him.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

You told me previously that you were a former performing artist and now you say that statement was not true? I am afraid our business dealings are finished as I do not do business with those who lie with Satan. Good day to you sir. You have broken young Elliot's heart.

I don't know if this is Humphere or not, but at this point I really don't care.

Dear pastor Williams

You do not understand me! I'm a performing artist with Yolanda Adams
that what I said before I proceed to my profession accountant work
okay! Please pardon my miss words I'm a performing artist

Do you know Yolanda Adams the gospel singer she is my mentor

I'm so sorry for the last mail, it's was composed by the customer care services

I'm a preforming artist I love tanet and performance I'm sorry for the
last mail!

God bless u

And, after he got time to think some more, 15 minutes later

Dear Pastor Williams

I just resumed office now let me answer all Young Eliot question, I
want you to know that I love children, I'm a performing artist

Yes I'm
I'm currently working on some videos of my live performance to be
uploaded on line next Month September 2018
I did not leave the Theater fully but it's was due to profession Accountant
I play a very vital role to make sure the sound are balanced during
presentation and performance

Please Pastor Williams I'm a honest man with God fearing mind please
I'm on my kneels I'm very sorry for the last mail secondly to my
biggest fan( lol) Young Elliot please I'm with you sorry for the
customer service mail I promise I will continue to write you my self
personally okay

I love you All..

God bless u

This one is going along too quickly. I think I need to slow it down and let him worry a bit.

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:47 pm

He's on his kneels after only a few days? I think Sister would be proud. He's a keeper.

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:27 pm

This doesn't really sound like Humphere, but I have trouble believing there are any lads this stupid besides him. Honestly, at this point, we need the orphans to start compiling song requests for him. I suggest "Never Gonna Give You Up" and "Look On the Bright Side of Life". If he's willing to go this quickly, then we may as well take advantage of that. We must get a sample video of his singing so we can verify his identity so the orphans can learn who their savior is.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I figured he would start getting concerned about his money

Dear Pastor Williams

Please wear are Waiting for your reply!

God bless u

By Wednesday he should be chomping at the bit.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

As luck would have it, Pastor B received the following email from a Mr. George. Directly to the inbox, not to spam.

Quote:

Hello

Do you need an urgent loan fast approved without no delay if yes
pleases email us immediately

Short term Loan: 5- 20 Years
Medium Term Loan: 30-100 Years
Long Term Loan: 200- 900 Years

Best Regards

Mr. George

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2018 12:02 pm

Quote:

Long Term Loan: 200- 900 Years

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

To his new persona

Hello Andrew. Thank you for your email. As luck would have it we are looking for a loan. My name is Pastor B and I am in charge of Finances for Silver Peak Orphanage in Silver Peak Nevada. What are your terms and by any chance do you happen to have a background in the performing arts? The orphans here are big Musical Theater fans. We had a loan arranged for $10,000,000 with a repayment term of 900 years but I cancelled that because the person I was working with lied to me. I await your response.

Pastor William B

Hello B

Thanks for your mail it's very well understood, I don't have any background performing arta but I love music and Orphans, I'm a God fearing man! I love the truth and nothing else!

We are very capable of delivery your loan of $10,000000:00 under the repayment year of 900 which is a long term Loan Registerred!

Please we almost good faith fill out the below information

Name:................
Country:..............
State:...................
Amount: $10,000000:00
Duration Year: 900
Phone Number:..........
Alternative Email Address:.........

Thanks for your good work, I wait for you response shortly

Best Regards

Mr. Andrew

Transfer Unit

And he called me Pastor B instead of Pastor Williams.

Hello Mr. Andrew Davis. I apologize for wasting your time but I am afraid we cannot do the loan with your company. The orphans are insisting that the loan come from someone with a background in musical theater. Also I think we will need a loan term great than 900 years, and it does not appear that your company can accommodate this.I wish you best of luck and God Bless

Pastor William B

Hello B

Thanks for your mail we can extend your loan to 1,000 years okay!

I have a musical Theater background in my high school days will that be okay?

Best Regards

Depends. Were you any good?

He has decided to try a different path, as I received the following from Yolanda Adams, who has apparently decided to branch out into the loan business

Quote:

Hello

We are here to meet up with financial aid for urgent response and
formulation We specialize in personal Loan, Business Loan etc

Short Term Loan 2-50 Years
Medium Term Loan 50- 200 Years
Long Term Loan: 200-1,000Years

If Yes please email us immediately

God bless u

Best Regards

You'll notice that Yolanda will go up to 1000 years for the term! This has to be from the singer Yolanda Adams, as her email address is YolandaAdamssinger. We have a very special lad here. He is no doubt planning to direct me to some of the Yolanda Adams youtube videos. That will not work

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