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 Stupid Jokes & Useless Trivia

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bearkat419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Posts: 4445
Location: Houston, TX


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 8:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Have you ever tasted mothballs?
How did you get their legs apart?

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Esox lucius
Baiting Guru


Joined: 26 May 2010
Posts: 2922
Location: Somewhere down the crazy river!


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 9:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^
Perv

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Sand Timer (Br Joe)



"..May your unborn kids don't grow and may you be burnt to ashes asap ! " CCS
"..Sir we have given you more than 5 different accounts yet you still complaining " SCB
" YOU LOW LIFE SATANIC AGENT, FORWARD THESE MESSAGES TO YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER, THEY WILL DEFINITELY ENJOY READING THEM." RG
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Fi-Manni
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Nov 2015
Posts: 355
Location: Far away from my well-lit window


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 3:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How about a clean joke?

Horse falls in water.

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bearkat419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Posts: 4445
Location: Houston, TX


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A psychic dwarf robbed a bank and got away. Newspaper headline the next day read

Short medium at large

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

An attempted robbery at a logging company was foiled by an alert worker with a chainsaw.
Police are searching for a sawn-off man with a shotgun.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 246
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
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bware419ers
419Eater Admin


Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 21302
Location: Searching for the Platinum Piggie


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A baby seal walks into a club.

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Two elephants walked off a cliff - BOOM BOOM!

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 246
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Q: What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones.
But people in Abu Dhabi do!

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've been told I'm condescending. (that means I talk down to people)

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
A: Aye matey.

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Pastor Frank
Baiting Guru


Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 12237


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Mr Dapper wrote:
I've been told I'm condescending. (that means I talk down to people)


IUIMPL

I urinated in my pantaloons laughing

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"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A tachyon walks out of a bar.

The barman says, "We don't serve faster-than-light particles in here."

A tachyon walks into a bar.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 246
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7
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Iam Aries
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Jul 2016
Posts: 427
Location: Walking up and down, outside the wall


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I want to die peacefully, like my grandfather. Not screaming, and crying, like the passengers in his car.

_________________
I am not a drunk and am not happy now.
IS YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE MONEY IN YOUR LIFE F*CK U STUPID BOY GO TO HELL, U WILL DIE
if i told you that am a black African man that does not mean that my skin is black
Closed lad accounts - 34


Benin
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Iam Aries
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Jul 2016
Posts: 427
Location: Walking up and down, outside the wall


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

_________________
I am not a drunk and am not happy now.
IS YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE MONEY IN YOUR LIFE F*CK U STUPID BOY GO TO HELL, U WILL DIE
if i told you that am a black African man that does not mean that my skin is black
Closed lad accounts - 34


Benin
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The secret to telling a good joke is......

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Women say I'm misogynistic, but what do they know?

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.

Last edited by Mr Dapper on Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

.....Timing.

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
View user's profileSend private message
Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Police arrested two youths for the theft of car batteries and being in possession of illegal fireworks. The first was discharged and the second was let off.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 246
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7
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Iam Aries
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Jul 2016
Posts: 427
Location: Walking up and down, outside the wall


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $6.99 a minute.

_________________
I am not a drunk and am not happy now.
IS YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE MONEY IN YOUR LIFE F*CK U STUPID BOY GO TO HELL, U WILL DIE
if i told you that am a black African man that does not mean that my skin is black
Closed lad accounts - 34


Benin
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Q: What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.
A: Icy dead people.

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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vonpaso xlura
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 13781
Location: Bertcad, Lojbanistan


PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Conservationists and woodcutters are at loggerheads about turtles.

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you are a fake people so do not ever write to me again.
Am mad at you right now ... Am tired of your questions ... Am sick and tire you and your bank
Nigerian pig . go swallow a grenade idiot. Boko Haram will solve your problem idiot .
you are big fool by send a fake payment information and never you contact me again asshole .
your passgae bearing your ATM CATD ... Ant Terrorist Certificate ... legal verterbrate ... expartiate your meaning ... gets to your dwaignted address ... successful ofghw transfer
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Mr Dapper
Elite Baiter


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 1055


PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 4:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My wife hates it when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few Santa Vcamera Sand Timer

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
View user's profileSend private message
Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West, went up to the bar and said, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 246
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 4:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A twitter post by Dennis Miller (former SNL)

Quote:
At this point, the only guy on the internet that I trust with my personal data is that Nigerian Prince.


Laughing

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“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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