Funny chat bits with romance lads

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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 1:24 am

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:08 am

Some time ago, my character Jean had her phone hacked by her evil ex boyfriend meaning that every sentence she typed ended with ...joker.

John
Hello dear
Jean
Hello joker
Woah. I did not type joker. Why my phone writing this joker
John
Ifemi how are you doing
Jean
Hello joker
John
Dear What do you mean joker
Jean
I am not writing it joker
Omg joker
My phone keeps typing joker at the end of every sentence joker
John
Oh sorry my dear
I love you so much
Jean
Where were you joker
I was worried joker
John
Dear what will you do about it
I did not like it like that
Dear I love you so much
I can't take you off my mind
Jean
What will I do about what joker
John
Try to off and on the phone again
Jean
Ok joker

John
Try it now
How is California ifemi
Jean
It's nice joker
What are you doing joker
John
I'm not studying
I told you have many assignment
What are you doing to my love
Dear I have talk to my brother about the passport
Jean
That is great joker
I restarted my phone joker
John
I will go on Monday day to apply for the passport
Jean
Good idea joker
John
Ifemi I can't wait to be with you
Jean
I can't wait to be with you joker
John
I know darling and I wish to be with you too darling and spend the rest of my life with you
Honey I really wish if you can come over here first so that we can do our wedding here
Jean
That would be lovely joker
John
Yes darling..... I want you to try and get your passport too my love so that we can know what's next ok
Jean
Ok joker

Jean
Hi joker
What did you do today joker
John
It's night
Here on bed
Jean
And what will you do tomorrow joker
My love why are you not chatting are you busy joker
John
I'm sleeping
It's 2.08 AM
Jean
Oh wow. Sorry it is only 6pm here in California joker
John
Time difference make it little hard my love
I always enjoy chatting with you but since you travel
Jean
Yes I agree joker
John
Dear I'm not enjoying the chat with joker

John
I miss you so much
Jean
I miss you too joker

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:32 pm

Darla: Can you tell me why Anita has confuse you?

SexxyPee: Baby,I don't know much.within s short time she chatted me and say too me that,I don't want too do what they told me too do,and I asked her what,she she told me that I done want too agree and accept.and I asked her accept what,accept my application

Darla: Ah now I understand

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2018 8:22 pm

Some lads are happy to just talk to themselves...

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 1:01 am

^I get many self-charters myself.

Since I was harassing this guy earlier I decided to look at a past chart:

Quote:

Darla: Sup Snickly?
Snickerdoodle: Darla howfer
Darla: Am goodly
Yu?
Snickerdoodle: Fine
Darla: Hang on ok? My new boyfriend wants to type something
Snickerdoodle: You again
I don't need any thing from you
Darla leave me oooo
I dey warn you ooooo
Heeeee I dey warn youuuuuuuuuu

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 1:10 am

Quote:

Snickerdoodle: You again

another satisfied customer.

ETA... I just checked one of my dating site characters and this was waiting. Never talked to this guy before.

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 1:36 am

^Oddly enough that reminds me of a song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqWxxmuyCqs

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 2:21 am

Quote:

Dear I'm not enjoying the chat with joker

I think this is the funniest thing I've read today! Thanks for that! Laughing

ETA: That's saying a lot on this forum

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:30 pm

I just can't seem to find love:

Quote:

Trucker John: Aww you knows I cares bout you little lady yes I do!!
Staph: No stop lying
Trucker John: Why you is acting meaner than a hound dog tied to an ant hill with its ears smeared in grape jelly you is
Staph: So I’m a dog?
Trucker John: An angry one at that you is!
Staph: You mother pussy

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:10 am

A Lad calling himself Melvin who claimed to be an orphan based in London (but with his $27 million in Ghana) attracted some snark from Cammy.

Cammy: Anyhoo... how did you end up in London?
Lad: I got assistance from a foreigner
Cammy: O RLY?
Lad: and he took me out from the refugee camp in ghana
Lad: why do u ask?
Cammy: Why shouldn't I? I was just surprised.
Cammy: Who was the foreigner?
Lad: mr patrick grattan in london
Cammy: OK, I can see where this is going.
Lad: or do u wany to take care of me?
Cammy: You've got your sugar daddy.
Lad: no
Cammy: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Lad: his a god sent to help me
Cammy: I've heard that a lot of gay men go to refugee camps in search of fresh meat.
Lad: am not a gay
Cammy: From your avatar, I can see why he picked you!
Lad: i sex female pussy not man ass hole
Lad: dont say that
Lad: i am a guy that sex ladies not men
Cammy: Look, I don't care which way you swing.
Lad: or do u want to invite me so that i can sex u till u satisfy?
Lad: i can do that very well camillr
Lad: think of that
Lad: i have a good penis and i will suck your pussy and breast too
Cammy: You swing both ways? That's rare in men. What does this Grattan get you to do for him?
Lad: i swing only on ladies like u
Cammy: Come on, no denial, please.
Lad: he just sent me to lon don and register me in the school
Cammy: Yeah, right.
Lad: can i ask u?
Cammy: Ask me what?
Lad: can i love u?
Lad: i need u to enjoy my penis
Cammy: As usual, it's all about your dick.
Lad: yes my dear sweet heart
Cammy: That was not a compliment.

Then Melvin tried to talk tough.

Cammy: And what the fuck makes you think that I love you?
Lad: i know
Lad: becos i love u too
Lad: did u shave your pussy hair
Lad: or is it natural?
Lad: answer my qustion
Cammy: Um.,. is there a reason?
Lad: i want to know how ur pussy is
Lad: whether shaved or hairy
Cammy: Misty is fine, thank you. A bit frisky, but fine.
Lad: oh thnks
Lad: when last do u have sex?
Cammy: Last night.
Lad: reall
Lad: with who?
Cammy: I gave Nicu a blow job and then rode him cowgirl style.
Lad: thats nice
Lad: do nicu suck ur pussy juice
Cammy: If I want him to go down on me, he does.
Lad: do u suck him too
Lad: his dick?
Cammy: I just told you how I gave him a blow job last night.
Lad: ok
Lad: how many times did he fuck u
Lad: which year did u start sex?
Cammy: You're jerking off, aren't you?
Lad: yes
Lad: ur lucky am not with u
Cammy: Why?
Lad: i should have given u a hot dogg sex
Lad: u will cry for more
Cammy: Hot dogg?
Lad: yes
Lad: do u love it?
Cammy: What do you mean?
Lad: do u love dogg sex?
Cammy: There are two answers to that question. It depends on what you mean by it.
Lad: i said,do u love me to do dogg sex with u?
Cammy: What if Nicu had objections?
Lad: dont mind him pls
Lad: if am in australian
Lad: i will drive him away from u
Lad: it will be a big fight between me and nicu
Lad: i swear
Lad: i must take u away from him
Cammy: Seriously?
Lad: very serious
Lad: dont worry
Lad: i will travel back to ghana next week
Lad: then when am back i will invite u here ok
Lad: in ghana
Lad: just for 1 week visit
Cammy: Forget it. I'm not going to Africa for you.
Cammy: If you're so hot for me, you can come here. Mind you, you'd have to defeat Nicu. He'd squash you like a bug.
Cammy: But hey...
Lad: then i will fly to u from africa ok
Lad: is that ok
Lad: hehehehe
Lad: i have africa man power
Lad: leave nicu for me
Lad: i will disgrace him by beating him to cry
Cammy: He has several different types of martial arts. He also has a concealed carry permit.
Cammy: And then you'd have to convince my brother. He's even tougher.
Lad: u dont know me
Lad: i do beat 4 men at a time
Lad: i went to night club here in london last weekend
Cammy: So?
Lad: i beat 5 men and all ladies was happy with me
Lad: thats the way i will beat nicu
Lad: tell him i wanna take u away from him by beating him to shame
Cammy: You are a fucking psychopath.
Lad: i am not
Cammy: A big-headed, small-dicked, delusional wanker.
Lad: no problem
Lad: i will make ur pussy enlarge more after fucking u
Cammy: Thought I had you tagged.
Lad: have u seen my dick before
Lad: long and large in sharp
Cammy: Sorry, but you're making me laugh. You are not turning me on.
Lad: u want me to get ur pussy wet
Lad: if so then i tell u a romantic words
Cammy: I don't think you know how.

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 4:53 am

^^^^^^^
Even after almost 2 years, I still find it amazing that the lads will take that level of abuse. beating

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 10:41 pm

ChrisLad definitely needed his say..sorta...

Quote:

Kevin the Idiot: How are you doing sweetie
Darla: Hiya
Kevin the Idiot: BIG ASS THUMBS UP
How are you doing
Darla:Awesome sluice. A nice man gave me 45,000 USD yesterday using that scam you taught me.
Its that great nnews Hunny????
Kevin the Idiot: Wow that's nice
So when are u sending me some money
Darla: Hurh?
Kevin the Idiot: Yes baby
I need some money from the one we made
Please my love
Darla: Mr. Mann you went behind my backside and told on me to that nice Mr. James so I think I should just keep the $195,000 that I collected.
Kevin the Idiot: I didn't tell him anything
Please
Darla: Then Mr. Stupity head how come he left me all alone in this crab infested country?
Kevin the Idiot: So what about me that brought the business
I don't know
I swear I didn't tell him anything
I swear maybe he is tired of u
Darla: I did sleep an awful lot when he was around come to think of it (DARLA GOT ROOFIED QUITE A BIT)
Kevin the Idiot: MY love I make you more happy when we get together
I will make u feel good
Darla: Hmmm
Kevin the Idiot: Trust me
U are a nice girl and you deserve the best
Darla: Hunny guess what????
Kevin the Idiot: I'm not good in guessing
My love
What could that be
DARLA INADVERTANTLY PASTED SOME SCRIPT IN THE CONVO BY MISTAKE THEN COVERED IT WITH TOURETTE’S KEYBOARD
Just tell me hunny
I'm not wicked
I love you so much
Darla: Chikken Butt. Hahahahaa
Kevin the Idiot: Lolz
You funny
Hhahahha
Now I remembered

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 11:28 pm

Fuck ooof........oooh I'll have to steal that one! Hahaha Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 11:34 pm

Hi all,
Well I joined Tinder...friends said it works.......hmmm Dande joined as 99%of folk are scammers.......she is getting more hits than me........bitch! 🤔😂. Yesterday this one popped up.....I nearly wet myself! I
Dande swiped right, but he hasn't seemed to have done the same yet! 😉😊

http://a64.tinypic.com/9qvj7t.jpg

Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks Padme for suggesting I put this one up!

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 11:54 pm

^^ here's the image resized. I'd love to know whose profile this is... fess up! I know it's someone here. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:01 am

That.
Is.
Awesome.

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 10:09 am

Eric: I will be coming to Malaysia on Tuesday dear
Eric: Leaving here on Monday
Eric: Hope you will come pick me at the airport
Dande Lyons: Oh oh how lovely which airport?
Eric: Kl
Dande Lyons: Oh that's a long way from here.
- Dande Lyons: A flight
- Eric: What is your full name
Eric: Then I will be coming to you then
Dande Lyons: Dandiella darling why?

Eric: When I arrive you tell me where I can come see you
- Dande Lyons: ok you'll need a flight to Langkawi
Eric: Ok dear

Dande Lyons: Oh wow, ok .....great. But you'll need to get to Langkawi, can you book now?
Eric: I will when I arrive malaysia

Dande Lyons: Oh yes Eric, everything is arranged, it's all rather exciting. I have hired a car too so that we can easily get around. 😊
- Eric: ok dear
- Eric: you do not have a car yet?
Dande Lyons: No I will pick it up on Sunday morning
Eric: ok but you do not own a cart yet?
Eric: car
- Eric: i will buy one when i come
Bludy hell he is soooo generous!

Dande Lyons: i am so excited about Sunday
Eric: ok dear am also happy coming tomorrow

Dande Lyons: Oh how wonderful, I am so excited. I have been shopping to get in some special foods for you. 😊😊😊
Eric: ok dear
Eric: Good morning dear I will be going offline fr WhatsApp soon preparing for my trip to Malaysia
Eric: Just want you to take good care of yourself for me
Eric: Am checking in now about to take off
Dande Lyons: Oooh have a safe flight Eric, can't wait to see you. Be safe . Xxxxx
Eric: Missed voice call
Eric: Hello dear I have been held by the custom service Herr in Malaysia .am charge for coming in with so much money which I have been trying to call you but your out of service
- Eric: Please chat me up when you get my message
Eric: Am still hoping you can save me here
- Eric: Missed voice call
Eric: why are you ignoring my call?
Eric: Missed voice call
Dande Lyons: Sorry I am trying to answer, but something is wrong it won't let me
Eric: you get the message i sent you right ?
Dande answered his call when he told her that she has to send money to the Customs in KL Airport
Eric: send you the number now
Dande Lyons: so just to clarify, you are bringing over US$ 10,000+ and you need RM3000 to clear customs right?
- Eric: yes dear
Eric: please i will pay back today ok
Dande Lyons: Ok
Eric: you mus call 0142692023
Hajah sapiah binti
Dande Lyons: What are the words?
Eric: the woman"s name
Eric: please hurry up
- Dande Lyons: Oh ok.

Dande cannot call because the whatsapp number she uses is no longer in service!
Eric: thank you dear
Dande Lyons: This number is for emergency calls only!
Dande Lyons: Luckily I speak Malay so I will understand her 😊

Actually Dande does not speak Malay! but she has google translate! hahaha

Eric: ok dear
- Eric: honey please call them
Eric: they are delaying
Dande Lyons: I have tried 3 more times, every time I get this.....
Dande sends photo of screen where it says Emergency calls only! hee hee

Dande Lyons: I cannot call it is ludicrous
Eric: your number is out of service
- Dande Lyons: it is the only number I have I use wifi only
- Eric: dear i will send you thier bank detail to receive the money so they can release me
Eric: they called you and your number is not reachable
- Dande Lyons: Ok
- Dande Lyons: You reach me!
Eric: ROSELINE ANAK RONGI
1610xxxx27
MAYBANK
Eric: can you hurry up when you bank in let me know so i can show them
Eric: Missed voice call
Eric: How far is bank from you
Dande Lyons: Its over 5 miles Eric and I will not get there and back in daylight
Eric: ok i will beg them to keep me here until you tomorrow then
Eric: but you have to promise me you keeping to your words ok
Eric: tomorrow very early in the morning you go and do it so i can leave here ,please
Dande Lyons: Eric I will go first thing tomorrow to the customs house which is right near by, they will tell me how I can do it so please don't worry. 😊
Eric: then you can start now and be doing it then
Dande Lyons: Ok
- Eric: you very stupid
Eric: after telling you am settling under counter so i can leave here
Dande Lyons: really?
Dande Lyons: What does this mean? I don't understand
Dande Lyons: it is rather rude to call me stupid!
Eric: am also planing on getting my insurance company document proofing what am coming to do in the country legal
Eric: you busy giving me procedure
Eric: you think am in a very comfortable place
Eric: ?
Eric: am so angry right now
- Dande Lyons: I am just telling you what I can do!
- Eric: because i have to spend the night here for crying out nloud
Eric: you can do by letting me tell the woman trying to help me is a fool making it difficult for me coming in

Dande Lyons: I was not the fool who brought in more than US$10K+. Now that was remarkably stupid.
Eric: am setlling under counrt
Eric: yes i admit i have done my mistake
Dande Lyons: Ok I have a friend in KL he is a policeman and I have asked Hume to come to help you
Eric: but you should know i want the document from the insurance company which am already working on
Dande Lyons: he is on his way, to the airport customs right now, it is lucky because he is working there today
Eric: i hope you told him his giving the 3000?
Eric: if his not do not bother
Dande Lyons: well he says he can pay what is needed
- Eric: O I see
Dande Lyons: he will text me when he has spoken to the officer
Dande Lyons: Eric he is there asking for Hahahaha Sapiah Binti.....that is the name of the officer right?
- Eric: he should come in can't see him
Eric: which part is him
Eric: which counter is he
Dande Lyons: He is in international arrivals, where you are!
Dande Lyons: Is that the correct name?
Eric: he should come to the immigration part cross the counter
- Dande Lyons: But you're being held by customs or immigrasi
- Dande Lyons: he says there is no one being held at the moment, can you send a photo of where you are please
- Dande Lyons: he says that the name you gave me is not right either!
- Dande Lyons: Please tell me where he should go to

now this afternoon Dsnde gets this message.....she has yet to respond! hahaha
27/03/2018, 15:37 - Eric: hello dear
27/03/2018, 15:50 - Eric: chat me up when you free am in selangor now
[/i]

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 10:14 am

Thanks Padme for resizing my pic.......

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 11:23 am

A romance Lad claimed that he was in Constantinople, and during chat one night I decided that Cammy would zone out and...

Quote:

Cammy:‎ What's happeing in Istanbul nt constantinople why did constatiople get the works
Lad: just cold
Cammy:‎ thats nobdys business wbut the trusk
Lad: whats the meaning of constatiople
Cammy:‎ take me back to constantiniple no you cant go bac to contaninople now its istabnl not constaobople why did tcnsontantpople get te worssk that's nobbodys ubusines but the trisks
Cammy:‎ BT THE TUSKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Lad: i dont understand
Lad: do you undertand who you are chattting with
Cammy:‎ Have you ever had that drream
Cammy:‎ when your wlaking naked down the stret
Cammy:‎ and everynodu stares
Lad: noo
Lad: why will i
Lad: thats bad
Lad: why did you say that
Cammy:‎ do you ever fall so deep
Lad: am confuse
Cammy:‎ that you speak your mond and everyone goes to sleep
Cammy:‎ You wondr if anyene cares
Lad: yes
Lad: give me some minues i wanna go buy something down
Lad: will check back on you
Cammy:‎ sometmes i think im h only one
Lad: any problem
Lad: you speak some hpow
Lad: how
Cammy:‎ whos days tured ou like they just begun
Cammy:‎ because im
Cammy:‎ BARE NAKED
Cammy:‎ and i
Cammy:‎ CANT TAKE IT
Cammy:‎ Im getting jaded i can
Cammy:‎ t
Cammy:‎ TAKE IT ANY MORE
Lad: baby
Lad: whats wrong
Lad: tell me

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 11:14 am

Cammy...just tell him...he really cares about Constantinople Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:02 am

Thought I'd post a lovely email I got today..........

Quote:

Considering the lack of monogamy in our community today, I decided to broaden my possibilities by trying a mature dating site.

The reality is that it would be very favorable for me to find a someone that shares the same integrity towards a relationship that I am seeking in my own geographical and beyond.

The foundation of principles that I am seeking is loyalty, honesty, patience, understanding, and the commitment of love that is shared only between two.

After being by myself for eleven years, since my ex-passed away, I have come to realize the journey of my life is not very fulfilling without having someone to share it with once again.

I have come to realize, in my life, that the outer beauty of a person is superficial. The true beauty of a relationship consists of the heart and mind of the individual and that would be a top priority for me in finding another companion to join me in my life. I consider myself to be very patient and humble individual.

Underneath my strong structure, there is a very emotional, loving, and caring man that has a heart of gold. Please, feel free to tell me about yourself in a broadway if you find the compatible nature of yourself to be as I am.

Down to earth, laid back and very caring person. I treat people the same way I would like to be treated. I can't stand liars, cheaters. Very comfortable with myself and do speak my mind from time to time.

I hate racism because I have many nationalities inside me. I am here looking for a lover and best friend to start out.

Special Regard,

Marcus.

Happy Easter 😊

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:06 am

Just a wee bit from a lad I've been tormenting for a couple years:

Quote:

Darla: You didn't fill out the application again
Zak: My dear, I have done what u ask, but they are jet to reply me so I can fill it
Darla: ok
I’ll ask Anita on Monday why she hasn’t processed your application.
Zak: NO
Don't think I am not following it,I am doing sure
If I may ask do u also have one with u,even it's a copy
Darla: NO
Zak: Yes kindly do that please
Darla: NO
Zak: Why then?
Darla: Because you are a Nipple Head
Zak: Still u don't have a reason
Wow, really
Darla: Yess
Your head resembles a nipple
Zak: So its easy to suck
Darla: Not where I was going with that but let’s leave it there ok?
Zak: Oh u feel bad then sorry

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 8:44 am

Here's another weird one who claimed to with the Bank of America and tried to run a "Two men are claiming your fund" script, and tried a very different tack after this final exchange:

Quote:

if you are not ready forget it

Quote:

If you're not going to answer sensible questions, then fuck off.

A month later, on chat... (I've bolded some standout lines)

Quote:

LAD: hello
LAD: miss camille white
Cammy: Yes?
LAD: how are you doing??????
Cammy: Fine. Today is Freyja's Day. It's going to be great!
LAD: that's is great so happy freyja's day
Cammy: Like you care. I bet you're not Asatruar.
LAD: how?
Cammy: You're American, right?
LAD: no
LAD: am from african but lives in american
Cammy: Whatever. I bet you're Christian.
LAD: no
Cammy: O RLY?
LAD: i save my community oraclr
Cammy: I thought you had to be to live in America.
Cammy: Your what? What's a community oraclr?
LAD: ORACLE
LAD: I SAVE ORACLE
Cammy: From what?
LAD: I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD
Cammy: And you're working in the US? How did you get past the INS?
LAD: MY PARENTS GET THE JOB FOR ME
LAD: I AM A SPIRITUAL PERSON
Cammy: Meaning what exactly?
LAD: I AM HALF SPIRIT HALF HUMAN
Cammy: Huh?
LAD: YES
Cammy: I don't get it. It sounds like something out of a fantasy novel.
LAD: LET TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MEANINGFUL
LAD: I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU CAMILLE
Cammy: I raise my spirit to Freyja, or Tyr, or Skadhi, or Odin, but I never pretended that my spirit was separate from me.
Cammy: WTF?
LAD: I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU
LAD: PLEASE WILL YOU BE MY LOVE????????
Cammy: Um... aren't you some bank executive in America?
LAD: THIS IS NOT BANKING EXECUTIVE
Cammy: Kenneth Lewis?
LAD: AM TALKING ABOUT MY FEELING TOWARD YOU
LAD: YES
Cammy: Then who in Freyja's name are you then?
LAD: I AM KENNETH LEWIS
Cammy: Right.
LAD: I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE
Cammy: But you signed your emails like this:
Cammy: KENNETH D. LEWIS.CHAIRMAN, CEO AND PRESIDENT, BANK OF AMERICA CORPORATION.
LAD: I WILL MAKE IT UP WITH YOU
LAD: YES I DO
LAD: MAY I KNOW YOU MORE???????
Cammy: So you are some big bank hotshot.
LAD: I AM LOOKING FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY
Cammy: Send me a picture of yourself then. I'll return the favour.
LAD: OK
LAD: BUT WILL YOU BE MY LOVE
Cammy: Remains to be seen...
LAD: OK
LAD: TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF
Cammy: Didn't I do that when you wrote to me before?
Cammy: Is that a no?
LAD: GIVE ME SMALL TIME TO SEND THE PHOTO
Cammy: Did I say anything about myself before?
LAD: I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE
LAD: JUST YOUR NAME THAT YOU TOLD ME
Cammy: Oh, so you don't know anything at all?
LAD: TELL ME SO THAT I WILL KNOW
Cammy: How much do you want to know?
LAD: i want to know everything about you as my wife to be
Cammy: Uh, don't count your minks before they're skinned.
Cammy: I'm 27 and a photomodel in Sydney. Now, your turn – tell me more about yourself.
LAD: I LOVE YOU
Cammy: A bit more, please... I take love very seriously. I hear it a lot.
LAD: I AM 50 AND CHAIRMAN BANK OF AMERICAN
Cammy: Ain't 23 years a bit of a gap?
LAD: I MARRIED BUT MY WIFE IS DEAD
Cammy: Sounds to me like you're hunting for a trophy wife!
LAD: I NEED A WOMAN THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY
Cammy: And impress the fuck out of your neighbours!
LAD: A WOMAN THAT ANYTIME I LOOKED INTO HER EYE I WILL FIND YOU
Cammy: Huh?
LAD: I HAVE NOT MEET YOU BUT I FEEL YOU HEART
Cammy: That sounds... spooky.
LAD: LOVE IS LIKE AIR YOU CANN'T SEE IT BUT CAN FEEL IT
Cammy: I know that very well. Freyja is the Goddess of Love and Beauty and I am devoted to Her and She blesses me in turn.
LAD: YOUR EYES ARE DOVES
LAD: YOU ARE THE ROSE OF SHARON
LAD: STAY ME WITH FLAGONS,COMFORT ME WITH APPLES
LAD: FOR I AM SICK OF LOVE
Cammy: For a poet... you're a great banker.
LAD: YOUR LIPS ,O MY SPOUSE DROPS AS HONEYCOMB
LAD: HONEY AND MILK ARE UNDER YOUR TONGUE
Cammy: Actually it's chocolate, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
LAD: AND THE SMELL OF YOUR GARMENT IS LIKE THE SMELL OF LEBANON
Cammy: Umm... I might point out that the smell of Lebanon is napalm, cordite, and brick dust. You might want to rethink that last line. That's how Roscoe described it... he said it's not pleasant.
LAD: I SLEEP MY MY HEART AWAKE
LAD: IT IS THE VOICE OF MY LOVE
LAD: MY DOVE AND MY UNDEFILED FOR MY HEAD IS FILLED WITH DEW AND MY LOCKS WITH THE DROPS OF THE NIGHT
LAD: LET ME KISS YOU WITH THE KISSES OF MY LIPS FOR YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE
Cammy: OK, I get your drift.
LAD: I AM SENDING YOU TO ISLAND FULL OF KISSES ON A SEA OF LOVE
Cammy: Um... enough already?
LAD: LET ME FEED YOU WITH THE WORDS OF LOVE

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ Ooo-er. Lol

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:42 pm

Here's the rest of the chat with Mr Spirit Being the Oracle Saver.

Quote:

LAD: how are you my love
LAD: how is your night my love??????????
LAD: talk to me my love let me know how you are am missing you
Cammy: You mean how WAS my night. It's the morning here.
LAD: OK
LAD: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
Cammy: Fine. And the night was blissful.
LAD: OK
LAD: I MISS YOU SO MUCH
LAD: GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE
Cammy: I don't use the phone - I'm hearing-impaired. Nicu handles all the phone biz.
LAD: WHO IS NICU?
Cammy: My boyfriend.
LAD: GIVE ME HIS NUMBER WHEN I CALL HIM THEN I WILL TELL HIM TO GIVE YOU PHONE
Cammy: Not a good idea. Why should he help you?
LAD: OK SINCE IT IS NOT GOOD IDEA LET ME FORGET IT
Cammy: Did you think a hot babe like me wouldn't have a BF? I have GFs too.
LAD: WHAT MATTERS NOW THAT I LOVE YOU
LAD: I WANT TO MARRY YOU
Cammy: Are you enough for me?
LAD: YES
LAD: I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU
LAD: PLEASE WILL YOU MARRY ME CAMILLE???
Cammy: Can you do it at least three times a night? Would you be willing and able to have sex under a spreading oak tree?
LAD: I WILL DO IT FOUR TIMES A NIGHT
Cammy: At your age?
LAD: I AM VERY YOUNG IN HEALTH
LAD: I CAN PERFORM VERY WELL
Cammy: The other issue is Nicu. I don't think he'd like it if I said, "Sorry, hon, I'm going to marry this Septic banker twice my age – will that be a problem?"
LAD: LEAVE HIM AND COME TO ME
LAD: I WILL SHOW YOU HOW I LOVE AND CARES FOR YOU
Cammy: Just like that? We've had five years together and he's good in bed and in tantra.
LAD: TELL HIM THAT IT IS OVER BETWEEN BOTH OF YOU
Cammy: That would be a lie, and an insult to Freyja.
LAD: OH AM SORRY
LAD: SO WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
Cammy: Dunno.
LAD: I WISH TO WAKE UP WITH YOU EVERY MORNING
Cammy: Today is Woden's Day – I could raise my spirit to the all-Father and seek His wisdom, though affairs of the heart are really Freyja's domain.
LAD: OK
LAD: BUT REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU AND I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU
LAD: I LOVE YOU CAMILLE

The chat log ends there.

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