Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread

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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 1:28 pm

Quote:

How is your wife, I guess she is doing well. I totally understand your situation, I mean at your age you are giving care to your ailing wife, I hope you are getting some support from the state, I mean, you should have a support worker, coming in to assist you in domestic things, like house cleaning, laundering and so on.

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

Quote:

Please I needs your urgent reply so I can be able to forge thing out, we advise only the owner of this email address are authorize to respond to this mail, because we needs to wave the bad egg in my country away and your reply will helps us much thanks.

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:25 am

^^^

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:47 pm

From an opening script:

Quote:

We the Money Gram bored office

If you want, I can make sure that you are not bored!

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:00 pm

The new passport lad wrote:

What is your country's location and address??

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:45 pm

Kennedy Uzoka wrote:

Send the $390 through western union or money gram with understated information so that we can receive it immediately and please avoid spelling mistakes when sending with the below information.

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

Interesting twist - the lad wants ME to be holding the sign:

Quote:

All you need do is write your name in BOLD on a white Sheet of Paper and place on your Chaste so that he easily recognize you when he enter the Restaurant.

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 6:09 am

Passport lad wrote:

Thank you for contacting our services with a genuine reply
Below is our Price Quote for Real/Fake Passports,Visas and Drivers License

[Real Passport]......................................$2500.83 ( discount when making more than 2)
[Fake passport].......................................$2000.36 ( discount when making more than 3)

Complete Change Of Nationality Pack ..................................$35000.83

[Real Visa] ..........................$1500.83 ( discount when making
more than 2)
[Fake Visa]...........................$950.36 ( discount when making
more than 2)

[Real driver license].................$850.73 ( when making more than 3)
[Fake driver license].................$650.62 ( No discount)

We are currently under a One month sensitization program so our board of Directors have put in place Minimum standard Prizes of these documents to enable us give our clients 100% Absolute satisfaction with the documents they may require . The above Price quote is what we normally gave our clients before this sensitization program had to be undertaken.
[Real Passport]..............................$1500.83 ( discount when making more than 2)
[Fake passport]............................$1000.36 ( discount when making more than 2)

Complete Change Of Nationality Pack ::::::$2500.83

Real Driver license.................$850.73( when making more than 2)
Fake Driver license.................$650.62 ( No discount)

I'm stumped trying to figure out how much the discount is and how much a real driver license costs when making only two (R. and A.'s teenage son is not old enough to drive). I also asked what the driving age is in the country that they're traveling to. He replied that it is 18. If he had googled the country, he'd have found that it's not a country, but a continent that existed when photosynthetic microorganisms first appeared.

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:33 am

Good news from an orphan who found someone else to help him;

Quote:

he want me to be come marine engineer as i am contacting you am working as marine engineer in one of the Ship.

OK, fine, but he claimed to be just twelve years old!

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:08 pm

I finally got the passport lad to send an itemized invoice which shows the prices for 3 passports (3000), 2 driver licenses (1700), and a bunch of other stuff.

Quote:

TOTAL 7,950
DISCOUNT % = 38.0% $ 3,021
GRAND TOTAL $ 3,000

Not only does that not add up, but the discount, which is supposedly only on the passports, is greater than the price of the passports!

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:37 am

I've seen some sh*te opening scripts here in my time but this latest one takes the biscuit...

Quote:

I'M MRS.MELANIA TRUMP AND THE CONTENT OF BELLOW MESSAGE IS SIGNED AND APPROVED BY UNITED BANK OF AMERICA.

moreover,in respect of fact the sum of $50 million united dollars was instructed to transfer on your favor through check

draft,And i wish to let you know that every necessary things has been accessed by IMF on the economic recovery program done

by united state embassy in government house of Benin republic for victim who lost fund to con African artist ,And you have

nothing to be worried about.

Bellow is the required information i need from you so that the delivery of your check draft will commence immediately today

Home address:...........................................
Cell phone number:......................................
City:...................................................
valid Email Address................................

We advice you to prohibit any other transaction you are having with an unknown source to avoid regret there after.And we urge

you to comply fast with the managerial demands so that you can have your legit check book with immediate effect as instructed

from White house(Washington DC)

Thanks and always be bless

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 1:52 am

Insults never get boring:

Quote:

Are you stupid? how could you tell me such foolish word is that what i am here to do? are you looking for one to initiate in your stupid court? dont talk to me again foolish. Do you think i die because of money i should buy or send your maga will send me money. To hell with you and your maga.
do you think am foolish? fuck you ass hole. Monkey

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

I got a great one last week:

Quote:

The worst treatment you could do to your fellow himan is the one you did last tuesday. Allowing Ed*** Ke*** to fly to Tacoma Narrows and renting a Diplomatic Vehicle to transport this Consignment to Kamilche, an hour journey by road and getting there exactly by 11.30 am and was parading all through the Restaurant, the Rest Room in fornt of the SPA and the Casino till 5pm is the worst inhuman treatment anyone can give his or her fellow human.

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 8:45 am

That's the "worst inhuman treatment" ever? E... K... is obviously a mollycoddled wimp who needed to grow a pair and stop playing with dolls.

And on the subject of what a Lad thinks is the worst...

Quote:

Its obvious you are not serious, your are just living you daily life by assumption which is the worst thing any living creature can do.

(That started an acrimonious exchange... see https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2253328&highlight=living#2253328)

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:38 am

This person is very picky...

Quote:

Your trust and understanding matters a lot to me, as i seek for a
righteous, virtuous, good, honorable, honest, upright, upstanding,
decent, worthy, noble-minded, UN-corrupted, anti-corruption, moral,
ethical, reputable, magnanimous, unselfish, generous,
self-sacrificing, brave to join hands together and use my life saving
to help the less privileges.

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 5:12 pm

A very generous Lad.

Quote:

Thank you,l accepted to help you with $150 from my pocket

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:30 am

A lad that can't decide how much he wants his mugus to send

Quote:

Please any amount you send let us know but remember what so ever amount below $50 will not be accepted. You can send us the payment informations immediately
you send the money. Immediately we confirm the activation fee we will send you the first receipt of your $8000 at the same day. Regards Mr ben GODWIN, from
money gram money transfer office Porto-Novo Benin Republic.

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

My current favorite lad has taken on a second persona: Chief Executive Officer of the UN Security Vault. Here he explains the UN:

Quote:

The United Nations Organization as you know is an International World
Body with its so many Umbrellas saddled with the responsibility of
uniting the Global World and making our Earth a better place to live
in with no War among Nation to Nation and Country to
Country, Crime, Hostility, Natural Disasters and so many other economic
problems ravishing Humanity today.

As a Chief Security Officer of the UN Security Vault, i am honored, i am
privileged to serve you. We all as UN Diplomats have a duty for
humanity and by our Oath of Office will lay down our lives for the
services of humanity and that is why the UN MOTTO: Is For Peace and
Harmoney among member Nations, among humans. That it was even Drawn
Quoting the Holy Scriptures "They Will Shield Their Swords Into Prowny
Shears, And Nations Will Not Learn War Anymore". We have been trying to
live up to this promise to Humanity.

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

More religion from a different lad:

Quote:

Josey, which church do you attend? For me, i attend jaws church, Lion the king.

Ah yes, Pastor Steven Spielberg’s church. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:29 pm

You know a script is bad when the lad can't be bothered to give explanations for fees:

Quote:

NOTE: that the international service fee must be paid before proceeding with your transaction because.

I've seen laziness before, but this takes the cake.

Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:46 pm

Whew, my employment lad says I still have a job...

Quote:

Thanks for your kind reply. You don't have to be confused. Yes am saying you Mr. Dick Upyourbutt, is our Swedish Chef? Yes you are still our Swedish Chef.

Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 5:48 pm

Joy wrote:

You are hot tampad

Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 7:52 pm

A barrister in Togo has some alarming news for Cammy:

Quote:

Due to security reasons of a young lady i melt in police cell at was yesterday afternoon, and she told me the offense she committed, sincerely urge you to fine solution to her bail out before they took her to court, for your information driving without license here is a capital offense in Togo, however she told me that she have $700 on her there but the police officer is demanding for $1500 to unleash her with the car

Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:17 am

I used to know a missionary's daughter who said that in Togo, if you drive without your license, the police will let you go back home to get it.

Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:11 pm

Told my lad I had pneumonia...

Quote:

VERY SORRY AND ACCEPT MY WORMIEST PRAYERS.

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