Archie Fails to Join the Church of the Old Gods

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 Nov 2012 Posts: 68

A week for delivery???
I wish it was that fast IRL
Stuff ordered from a supplier thats only 40 min drive away here can take up to 4 working days to get delivered by post, cross country is never under a week

I order heaps off Alibaba, Hong Kong is usually 2-3 weeks, if its a Chinese supplier, it is MIN 30 days, sometimes 45 days, but I have two orders (one is getting urgent) that are rapidly approaching 90 days since ordering

This is the usual time frame for Chinese suppliers to here, mnd you- Ebay isnt any better

US suppliers are much worse, at best 2 months, and many parcels simply dont arrive at all, Chinese are much more reliable (only ever lost 2, and they replaced them immediately when I complained that they hadnt arrived after 3 months)

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Yeah, that was pretty fast for Amazon. I'm not sure what Archie is whining about.

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 2:58 pm

I sped it up deliberately because he was complaining and asking us to cancel the items, which we didn’t want to happen. This way we have the excuse that we have to send the package containing his money through GPS, which wouldn’t make sense if the electronics were not in the package.

I previously considered delaying it because Eric forgot to order through Prime instead of regular Amazon, but along with the fact that he was already complaining, I figured it was better for Archie to think that Eric is marginally more competent than Pastor Moses and Roger right now.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 Nov 2012 Posts: 68

Big X wrote:

I sped it up deliberately because he was complaining and asking us to cancel the items, which we didn’t want to happen. .

It does show their sense of entitlement tho doesnt it?
I seriously doubt that deliveries to Africa are faster, and these lads expect to get a better service that we do IRL????

People complain about gen z or whatever they are calling the kids these days, but seriously, these guys are way worse- they want 'their' stuff, they want it NOW and couldnt care less about if it inconveniences others, or even if its possible, then whine like spoilt brats when things dont go their way

So I see it as our duty to 'edumacate' them lol (what out for that one, if you see a lad usig it, we are probably sharing the same lad, I got him using it now) and ensure things never go their way

Smile

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:03 am

Surprise, surprise, Archie tells Eric he wants all three packages:

Quote:

Dear brother Eric, thanks so much for your time that you have invested in the ordering of this package.

Like the saying goes in Africa, "Every disappointment is a blessing"
I guess the delay faced in the process of ordering the items brought me blessings. (Not as such, but I'm certainly happy for him to think so)

Please I would to see the pictures of the package before you take them to Pastor Moses. Please I want to see them.

I will like you to tell Pastor Moses to send the 3 packages to me. We will need them as time goes on.

Also, I want you to be the one to send the electronics and the welcome package to me. I believe you will know how to get it done better than Pastor Moses and brother Roger.

Also ask Pastor Moses if you can send the bake sale funds to me.

Eric promises to help as much as he can:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, Pastor Moses is usually the one who handles the welcome packages for new members, and I really wouldn't want to tell him how to do his job. So I am not sure how much I can help you there. But I do handle the Church's funds as the parish accountant, so I will help you with the bake sale funds once Pastor Moses tells me how he wants to send them. Be rest assured, I will make sure the money gets to you so you can set up your Church parish there.

I took a picture of the Amazon pictures with my phone like you asked. It is attached to this email. I will take the items to the Church parish tomorrow morning on my way to work, and Pastor Moses will be able to send them soon.

May the Old Gods Bless You

I attached a 4 MB renamed .dll. I'm sure Archie will love that.

Meanwhile, Archie tells Roger about the duplicated order:

Quote:

Dear Roger, brother Eric sent me a message yesterday.

He said Amazon has delivered the electronics to him. But they came in 3 packages. He has 3 cameras 3 video camera and 3 printers delivered to him.

I told him to send them all. We will need them in time to come as the church expand.

Please call him to confirm, and also tell Pastor Moses to send the welcome package and the bake sale funds.

We need to start worship the old Gods over here.

Roger will be confused about this tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Has brother Eric called you? He told me that the items will be delivered to him yesterday.

Please call him to find out if the items has been delivered. If the items hasn't been delivered, send me the welcome package so we can start our church over here.

I think the items that I requested for is making the process delay.

Please send the welcome package and also the bake sale funds. Whenever the items is delivered to brother Eric he will send it to me.

May the old Gods continue to bestow you with wisdom.

Pastor Moses is preparing his Welcome Package:

Quote:

Hello my son,

Yes I have heard from Brother Eric. It seems that there was some sort of mistake with the order and he has received several of the same electronic item. I am not certain how this mistake was made.

Will you be able to use all of the electronic items that were sent? Perhaps I could ask young Susan if we would be able to use some of them here at our church? I don't really understand how all these gadgets work.

Please let me know what you want to do. I am finishing preparations of your Welcome Package. I will include as many of these electric items as you are needing and we will get it handed to the appropriate package company.

Gods bless my son,

Pastor Moses

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 4:11 am

This story evolves from very good to excellent. clapping

I can hardly wait to see "The Great Adventures of the Electronics Package" movie. Very Happy

Poor Archie, I do feel sorry for him! Laughing

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:27 am

Archie didn't mention any problems with the picture:

Quote:

Good day Brother Eric, I appreciate your time towards us.

Please when you take the electronics to Pastor Moses, ask him if you can send me the $30,000 from the bake sale funds.

I have told him that it is important that we receive the money before the welcome package gets to us. It's will allow us make preparation for the starting of the church.

May the old Gods protect you.

Eric didn't see the email in time:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I am sorry, I didn't see this email before I went to the Church to drop off the items. I didn't have the chance to talk to Pastor Moses about the bake sale funds. But I am sure I will see him at Services, and I will speak to him about it then. I think you're absolutely right, we need to make sure you get the funds as soon as possible.

May the Old Gods Bless You

Too bad. I'm sure Pastor Moses won't do anything silly with the money before Eric can talk to him. Twisted Evil

Meanwhile, Roger is still out of the loop and blundering behind the action, and as a result he is confused about the extra items:

Quote:

I don't understand, what is this about 3 packages? Are you saying Brother Eric got 3 of each of the items? Why did he received so many? How many of the items did he ordered? Did you told him to get 3 packages? I am just so confused about what has happened here.

I will call him and try to finger out what is going on. I just don't understand why he ordered 3. The Church can probably afford it but it still seems unresponsive and foolish to spend that much unnecessarily. I will also talk to Pastor Moses about this. At least he can finally send your welcome package now that the electronic items have arrived.

Now that Pastor Moses has the items, my characters will go into a holding pattern for a while, until we have the "package" en route with GPS.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Please don't use anything unreliable. I hear bad things about DHL and UPS.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

^^We wouldn't dream of using one of those cut-rate services!

Quote:

Good day Pastor, I appreciate your response in regards to the electronics.

Like I told brother Eric, we will need all the electronics as time goes on. I believe that we will have another Parish here soon. So we won't bother you with ordering of another electronics.

Please Pastor, I will like you to package all the electronics and the welcome package and send it to us so we can start our glorious church over here. The people are waiting.

Also Pastor, when are you ordering brother Eric to send the bake sale funds? It is important that the bake sale funds gets here before the welcome package. Very Happy

Also let me know when you are taken the package to DHL office for shipping.
You will have to pay for the shipment to Nigeria. So we won't need to pay at the point of receiving.

Pastor M. is still working on getting everything put together..

Quote:

Hello my son,

Yes Brother Eric brought the electric items to me. My goodness there are a lot of things here! This is going to be a very large package I hope it doesn't cost too much. I will get the bake sale funds from him as well. I am going to have young Susan help me get everything packed together some of these items are rather heavy for me. I am not as young as I once was of course but I we should be able to get everything put together.

Can you please send me your address again? I know you had already sent it to me but I can't remember where I wrote it down. Yes, the Church will cover all the shipping costs so all you will need to do is pick it up. (simple enough..)You will not need to pay anything to receive it and then once you have it you will be able to get started right away helping your villagers and teaching them the word of the Old Gods.

Pastor Moses

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 4:03 am

^^^ Muhahahaha! Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Jan 2014 Posts: 144

"Because the community are already frowing at me, they weren't happy with me. What I told them all along was that after the faith monument has been completed they will have funds to purchase the necessary materials that is required to start rebuilding of structures that the flood damaged.

They all turned their back against me, accusing of lying to them. They vowed to never followed me to the faith monument for any reason until the church has fulfill the promise made to them"

So he tells you this and now there may be another parish in their town? Wonder if he thinks it may be somewhat dishonest to keep the extra electronics? He does have the greed which will be a good thing. This is a great storyline. I love that monument. Can't wait to see what is next.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 06 Feb 2014 Posts: 1

May the Old Gods bless you, Brothers Labowski and Big X; your patient, expert baiting is very enjoyable to read. Long may it continue!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Good day Pastor, thank you for the swift response.

Brother Eric said the package are so large, I hope it doesn't cost much to ship. In case the cost of shipping is much, send us 2 package of the electronic item and the welcome package. But if it doesn't cost much send the 3 electronics package and the welcome package to us.

Please I will like you to take pictures of the electronics and welcome package and send it to me. so I will know what it looks like. You can tell young Susan to do that.

The shipping address is;
Company name
<snip DHL office address>

Receiver's name : Osazuwa XXxXX
Receiver's phone number: +2XXXXXX
Receiver's email: [email protected]

Note:The receiver is a member of our community, and he's good at receiving goods.
Also Pastor, make sure that you collect the tracking number for the items shipped and name of the sender so we can monitor the package while in transit.

In regards to the bake sale funds, how do you intend sending the money?
Should I provide an account where the money can be sent? Tell me how you intend sending it.

Today is Sunday, so Pastor Moses is unavailable. He will respond tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

and he's good at receiving goods.

I have no idea why but that line just cracks me up. How much training has this guy had to get that good at receiving goods. What separates a "good" recipient from an average one? It must be divine will that this community has such a person present in the congregation who is excels at receiving things. What a blessing!
With a taste of foreshadowing, will this designated recipient be any good at accompanying Archie on safaris?

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

The package has been sent!

Quote:

Hello my son,

I have some exciting new. Brother Eric and I were able to get your Welcome Packages all packed up after Sunday Services last night, and we were able to get it shipped out to you today. My goodness it was quite an ordeal!

First we put everything into one large box. It was very, very large! Actually I am surprised we were able to package it in one box, but Brother Eric did an outstanding job arranging everything. It was quite heavy. I withdrew the $30,000 from the bake sale funds and we carefully packaged it inside as well. When you get the package, make sure that you check all of the contents carefully. The bake sale funds are in a small brown box, within the larger box that we shipped to you. It is taped shut very carefully so you will need a sharp knife to open it.

We first took the package down to a DHL office as you suggested but the price to ship it to Nigeria was outrageous! The only way we could ship it affordably it would have taken from 2-3 weeks. I told them that that was much too long and a wait that long was simply unacceptable! So we left them and went to a UPS office which Brother Eric knew about. Can you believe the price was even more high than DHL was! So we then tried with GPS3 and they were considerably more affordable. Still quite expensive, but close to half the cost that DHL and UPS were charging so we went ahead and shipped with them.

They said that the package will get to Africa in 4-5 days. They also gave us a receipt and I believe it has a tracking number on it. Brother Eric held on to that for record keeping. I will have him take a look and provide you with a good number that you can use to track the package.

My son, once you have received the Welcome Package, I do hope that you go to work right away to distribute the funds to your villagers in the best way that you see fit. This is a wonderful opportunity to teach your poor friends about the glory of the Old Gods. Once you have helped them, invite them to the glorious Monument of Faith and invite them to sit upon the Bench of Admiration. They will be moved indeed.

Pastor Moses

It might take us a couple days to track down that receipt, but soon he will be able to check the status of his incoming parcel via the GPS3 Track website. I wonder if he will have concerns about not using DHL?

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 6:47 am

^^^ I am very sure he will have a comment on this aspect of the delivery operation, but the professionalism of the GPS3 is recognized throughout the world. Right? Very Happy

As a matter of fact, I'm so convinced that the package will go exactly where it has to get! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Yes, they are famous for their Five Star Customer Service!

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:54 pm

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Their service is exemplary. I've heard rumor that they have NEVER lost a parcel!

Archie sounds quite pleased. Surprisingly, he doesn't mention any concern about me sending cash through the mail.

Quote:

Dear Pastor Moses

I am so excited to hear that you have shipped the welcome package and the items that I requested.

Please, I want to know if you told them that the destination of the good is Nigeria?

And also what is the name of the sender and the receiver?

Also Pastor, I want you to please contact brother Eric urgently so he can send me the parcel code and the receipt for shipping. The code is very important to enable me monitor the movement of the package and to know when it gets here.

I don't want the package to be delayed at point of delivery, so package won't be stolen.
You have to call brother Eric as fast as you can.

We all have put so much effort into this Very Happy

, it is time to complete our joint quest of beginning the glorious church of the old Gods here in Nigeria.

May the old Gods protect you

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ I have a feeling that shortly that 2-3 week delivery time will start looking pretty damn good. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:23 pm

GP5 3-Tr4ck is extremely reliable. Who can argue with the efficiency of Moses, Uzumbo, and the others? I heard Chad is nice this time of year, and Cameroon never disappoints.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Even when you know what is coming this is hilarious! I think my anticipation for the story to unfold might match Archie's for the actual delivery!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

MrMystery314 wrote:

Cameroon never disappoints.

I understand they have a very good bakery. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:24 pm

My characters were fairly quiet the last few days, because my work sent me on safari. I'm sure you all missed me terribly. Anyway, here is what happened with Roger and Eric while I was gone:

Archie asks Eric for the receipt:

Quote:

Good day Mr Eric, Pastor Moses said that he has shipped the welcome package and the items that I requested.

He said they told him that it will be delivered within 4-5days. Please I need you to send me the parcel code so I can track the package. In other to know when it will be delivered.

Please send me the receipt and the parcel code. Write out the code.

We have less than 3days to the delivery date.

Eric sends him the GPS receipt:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I sincerely apologize for the delay. After I helped Pastor Moses send the package, I traveled to an academic conference of college admissions officers, and I wasn't checking my email. I just got home today and saw your emails and I felt bad about the miscommunication. I didn't realize Pastor Moses wanted me to send you the receipt for the package, I thought he was going to have Miss Susan do that. Please forgive me.

I have attached the receipt for the package now. I believe I am reading the receipt correctly, and it looks like the package code is <snip>. I am glad you will be receiving your welcome package soon, and I hope you feel truly special to become our Brother in the Church.

May the Old Gods Bless You

There is a small but very significant error on the receipt. I wonder if Archie will spot it? Twisted Evil

Meanwhile, Archie tells Roger why Eric got the extra items:

Quote:

Dear Roger, yes brother Eric got 3 of the each items.

The mistake must have come from Amazon, it's all good anyway. The items will be useful to us in future as we expand our Parish over here. There will be no need telling Pastor Moses to order for another. We will keep the extra 2 packages.

Please ask Pastor Moses when he's going to ship the welcome package and the electronics to us? Also when he will direct brother Eric to send the bake sale funds

He need to get the packages to us soon as possible and also the bake sale funds so we can start planning how we are going to hold our services.

Roger tells Archie that Pastor Moses will send the items soon:

Quote:

Pastor Moses told me at Services yesterday that Brother Eric gave him the items and he should be able to send them to you soon.

Brother Eric is away at a conference for his work for the University, but I am sure he will be back soon. If you need him to order something else for you, I am sure he will be able to do that when he gets back.

Archie asked for Roger's help in getting the parcel code from Eric:

Quote:

thanks for your response and concern.

I received a message from Pastor Moses saying that brother Eric has helped him package the welcome package and the items that I requested in a bigger box.

And that he has shipped it through GPS logistics to Nigeria, they told him that the package will be delivered within 4-5days.
But he hasn't sent the parcel code that will enable track the package to know the movement of the package and when it will be delivered.

Please help me to call brother Eric and tell him to send the receipt for the shipped package and the parcel code.
1 day has passed, I have 4days to the delivery day.

I don't want the package to be delayed at point of delivery. So it won't be stolen. (He has no idea, but that's the least of his worries)

It is very important that you call brother Eric immediately after reading this message.
Tell him to send the parcel code and the receipt for shipping the package.

Roger will be confused and a day behind the action as usual when he responds.

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