Mr. Humphere is a shell of a scammer and quite gone

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

See this thread if you aren't familiar with the bait

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=284110

He seems to have twigged on everyone else but he and Penfold are still communicating

Quote:

i cant believe you have been lying to me all this while. was anything true in all this? (nope) i swear i hate you now

Quote:

What the fuck are you talking about? Have you been taking drugs?

VOTE PENFOLD!

Quote:

IF THERE IS ANY TRUTH IN ALL YOU TOLD ME , WHY DID I NEVER GET THE CHECK AND WHY IS IT HARD FOR YOU TO GET ME THE CHECK ALL YOU KEEP TELLING ME IS ONE STUPID CURSE THAT DOES NOT EXIST, I CAN NOT BELIEVE I CUT MY HAIR FOR NOTHING, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND, HOW CAN YOU FORSAKE ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST? I HAD A CHANCE OF BACKING OUT ON YOU BUT I STOOD THERE FOR YOU AT THE END , ALL I GOT WAS NOTHING , I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME. I SOLD MY PROPERTY TO UPLOAD AND TO PAY THOSE PEOPLE YOU SAW ON YOUR CAMPAIGN VIDEO AND YOU BACK OUT ON ME.THANK YOU FOR PLAYING GAMES WITH MY LIFE.I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON

Quote:

Why in the fuck are you blaming me for he problems you had? It sounds to me like your problem is with the delivery company. It sounds to me like you fucked things up yourself and are looking for someone to blame. I received the report from GPS*. Did you really tell the criminal Feathers to kill their delivery driver? How can you do something like that and blame me for not getting your package?

VOTE PENFOLD!

Quote:

Why are you sounding as if you don't know feathers and what he can do ? sir you gave up on me, what kind of game did you people play with me? i ask just to cancel the check and help me out but you refuse, is this how you are going to lead the people when you win your election ? even though i cant find your name online on the governorship candidate of your state? what more lie are you people telling that i don't know? you are the only one that can help me so if you refuse to help me that means all this things are lies ,the check was never true and all this feathers thing was a game but why?

Quote:

Why is it every time I ask you a question you don't want to answer you respond by dragging my good name through the mud? For the last time I will ask. Did you really tell the most brutal remorseless killer I have ever encountered to murder an innocent GPSE delivery driver? I await your answer

VOTE PENFOLD!

Quote:

Sir how can i kill someone that i never met? someone that never came to to were he said i should meet him? how can i kill someone that i don't know his office? why are you asking mr such question? if you people don't want to give me the check , it is fine , but don't you people ever say that i kill any agent that never existed, i am not a killer. i understand that you people want to use that to frame me so that you will say that i did not receive the check that never existed because i killed a ghost,. but i will answer you this for the first and last time. i did not kill any body.,but god will gorge you all for lying to me and played game with my life, how i wish i back out when i had the chance, but thank you, what i know is that what you people did to me, someone ealse will do it to all of you

Quote:

You dumb fuck. Did you or did you not send the criminal Feathers an email stating that he should go ahead and kill the delivery driver? Or are you saying that the GPS* delivery driver lied?

VOTE PENFOLD!

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:02 am

I'm glad to hear that he is still alive and kicking. I suggested this idea a few weeks ago, but would he be willing to join the Snorkys? After all of the trouble they have caused him, I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to join the winning side for once. I am slightly tempted to edit the Wikipedia page for the Michigan candidates, even if only for a few days, to list William J. Penfold as a potential candidate for governor, or maybe Inspect Element to add his name to the list and send the photo to him. He hasn't contacted me at all. Here's hoping that we get part 2 of the great Mr. Humphere saga.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:31 am

Great to see this still going. A link to this thread is being added to the post in, yes, Greatest Hits!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

At this point I don't think he will be up for anything without a phone call. He is quite spooked.

Quote:

Am surprise you sound like this after all i told you, if any body is dumb here it is you, i told you i told feathers that, just to buy time for there company to fine him, i told feathers that so that feathers will get distracted and think that i don't have anything with the agent , if you are a lawyer as you claim you should have understood what i was doing,i don't even know who you are anymore am disappointed at you

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 1:59 am

I don't have a baiter phone to call him on, nor does my voice really scream "older lawyer". Who here would actually be willing to call him? Even though he is being argumentative right now, he still thoroughly believes, so that is fine. Maybe he can be slowly encouraged into contacting the other characters later.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:24 am

Louis pushes on with asking for the questionnaire, undeterred by the lad's hostility:

Quote:

I don't understand, why are you being so hostel to me like this? I am not trying to tell you any lies. Mr Joe Bob honestly didn't tell me anything about an up front fee, he just asked me to send you the questionnaire.

But don't worry, we may be able to make some arrangement to pay you up front. (Not a chance) In the mean while, is it ok if I send you the questionnaire and you can look it over?

Receiving no response, he sends the questionnaire anyway:

Quote:

I still have not heard back from you about the questionnaire, so I am just going to send it to you. We are working on a dead line here, so I need to line up your photo shoot for our next issue as soon as possible. The questionnaire is attached to this email, please complete and return it to me as soon as you can so we can arrange your shoot. I will speak to Mr Joe Bob about arranging advance payment for you.

I hope he is desperate enough to actually complete it.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:54 am

Oh man, you guys need to tell me about my own bait! I'm glad I looked. Smile

I'll hit him up some more. He's still silent to all my characters.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He's still talking to Susan at GPS too. Not noteworthy stuff, just working him slowly and trying to make it seem like the Customer Care department is working to make things right with him.

I will be able to call him in a few days. If anyone has his Nigeria number can you PM it to me? I asked him for it but he won't give it to me and says that he fears for his life now. Very Happy

Moses, who has recently been fired over all this, sends him a drunken email:

Quote:

I got fired because of you you asshole motherfucker! Suck my.balls you greezy fuck after all you did to poor Wolfgang I hope you burn in hell I regret the day I ever heard your name you fucking asshole!! Fuck you and FUCK GPSe and FUCK YOUR PACKAGE AND FUCK YOU you dirty dick sonofabitch!!

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 6:05 am

Muhahaha... a very nice message to him! Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Can't believe poor Mr Moses got the sack again. Lol

Great to hear Hump Here is still reaching out. Lololol

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:45 pm

It's just a matter of figuring out who he is still talking to. He was talking dirty to Jenna last week, so she tried...

Quote:

Mr Nyash,

Holy shit I just got home from the worst date of my life. Dude was just awful. Kept bragging about how big his dick was. Only means one thing. So he took me home, I discovered I was right and walked home in the rain. So I'm just soaking in a warm bubble bath now but I haven't heard from you. Are you feeling better yet? I sure hope so. Write me back when you get a chance.

No response... I think she's out. But, much better luck with Sister Mary!

Quote:

Oh my dear Mr Hump Here with the deep voice,

You would be so proud of our orphans as it been a holiday weekend here last few days but they work the yard and do cleanup so the grounds look so nice indeed and afterwards we had Farmer Jethro come by on john deere and bring a few briskets for the smoker and I tell you we all ate well and it been a wonderful time if I dare say so myself.

You on other hand been so quiet and I can tell something the matter. I don't live to 78 years without being able to sense a thing or two. Miss Connie say perhaps you have a new hobby or new girlfriend and to not bother you but I conceding I will anyway to discover once and for all what indeed is the matter.

We continue to pray for ye daily Mr Hump Here and you take good care of yourself and you can always be assured I be here for you.

Quote:

Madam i have not been quit , am just wondering why mr penfold (the lawyer)and inspector treated e so bad, i trusted them and i gave all i had left to assist them on the last case, but once the case was over, the abandon me, i have not had any new girl friend am just trying to figure out how to move on with my life,people have said many bad things about me that is not true, they said i killed a delivery agent that was send to deliver the gift to me, and also say that i stole your money, madam this world is fill with fake people, all those things they said about me is not true, i did not kill any body and i did not steal your money, i just wonder why people from beavers island are saying such thing about me and because of that , they have refuse to help me to find the person that stole the gift or do something about it. but your email got me a little relieve and i must say thank you , you have been a wonderful person to me and god will bless you so much

Trying to reel him in a bit...

Quote:

Oh my dear Mr Hump Here,

My goodness that be a lot to read and take in. I not know of course much that go on outside the orphanage and now I know why as your message make me quite confuse as clearly I not know the whole story but that be okay as I trust you tell the truth and I pray for you anyway.

Our nice island be very small and most of us know each other but I confess I not know Mr Penfold well at all since he sit in his office all the time and he never really has a need to be at the orphanage but I can tell you that every year at Christmas time the celebration of the birth of our blessed nailed god that Mr Penfold himself come to the orphanage and dress as Santa Claus himself and he deliver gifts to all my children so he always strike me as a kind man indeed. In fact miss Connie just say now he running for governor but I hope he doesn't or we will have to find a new santa Claus which not be to easy around these parts I confess.

You be well Mr Hump Here and you rest assured I be here for you and we continue to pray to sweet baby jesus for you.

Sister doesn't mind just dragging him along for a little bit giving him a renewed sense of normalcy.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:36 pm

Has he heard from any of the orphans recently? We could try and go full circle by having him talk to more orphans. Alternatively, a phone call could soothe his nerves and get him to do more stuff for us. I want a tattoo so we can get more of the possible signature icons.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:28 pm

^ A tattoo is difficult to get, even from a fully hooked and believing lad. This one is skeptical and threatening to drop us at every turn. I would play it more cautiously for a while.

The lad reiterates his demand for advance payment before he will fill out the forms:

Quote:

SIR I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND THE DOCUMENT AND I WILL FILL THEM AND SEND BACK, SO I SUGGEST YOU ASK YOUR BOSS ABOUT WHAT HE SAID AT FIRST, AND ALSO WITHOUT THE UPFRONT FEE, AM NOT FILLING OR DOING ANYTHING WITH YOU. SIMPLE, NO MORE LIES ! AM TIRED OF LIES FROM ALL OVER BEAVERS ISLAND AND WHAT SOEVER. WITHOUT THE UPFRONT FEE, NOTHING FROM ME. AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN KNOW YOUR SEROUS

Louis interprets this as the lad agreeing to fill out the forms:

Quote:

I will speak to Mr Joe Bob about the payment, but I am glad your saying that you will fill the form in the mean while. Be rest assured, we are very serious about having you pose for our magazine.

However, I don't really understand what you mean about lies from Beavers Island. Who do you think is lying to you? May be that is none of my business.

The lad assures Louis that he is not planning to run off with the money:

Quote:

Yes the lies is none of your business , but i can only know how serous and important this magazine is, when the fee has been paid then i will know this is real business. i am not a ghost so you should not be bothered by thinking am running away with your money no, as the man that gave your boss my contact knows me in and out and also knows were and how to find me, so don't bother to think am running away with your money, like i said, i have seen the form and i will fill them and send to you once i confirm the payment then i will know this is real business and without the payment, i will not send any form or answer any question or do any business with your magazine

This will be tough to get around. There are a few ways to work around this, either I can agree to the payment but then use my usual delaying tactics once he starts asking for WU or MG, or we can play hardball and tell him that if he wants to make any money from being in our magazine he better fill out those forms first.

Jayhawk, you're playing Joe Bob, how do you think I should handle this?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Really? That's your answer? That you thought it would be a good idea to encourage a psychotic mass murderer to commit another murder? Have you ever noticed that you seem to get yourself into trouble every time you think? Because I sure have. If not for your stupidity and attempt at thought you would have your check by now.

VOTE PENFOLD!

Quote:

And once again I ask you a question you don't like and you vanish on me.

VOTE PENFOLD!

Quote:

Sir i never killed anyone, i never hurt anyone, i never meet with any delivery agent , as they were all ghost to me that made me wonder if this whole thing were real or you people playing games with me, what i know is that i did all you ask me to do, and for any reason this check did not get to me, glory be to god,but you backing out on me even when you know inside you that all they are saying about me is lies, i dont think i will ever forgive you, now up till now i dont have the check, is it when the check has expired that i will get it? and here is the favour i need from you, i dont like people using hash words on me, i know in your country it is a normal word but here it is insult so please mind the words you use on me, and if you contnue to use those words on me, i will return the favor so that you will know how it hurts when someone call you names.

Quote:

So now your'e playing the poor poor pitiful me card? Well I ain't buying it. All of your problems have been your own fault but you fail to see that. You are an idiot, but in spite of that I will check on the status of your check. Because that is the type of caring person I am. In the meantime I would advise you to stay put and not do anything until you hear back from me. And for Gods sake don't try and think! It is not your strong suit.

VOTE PENFOLD!

BigX, I would say no money until the forms are completed and we have a signed contract. That was our deal,

Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:26 am

I like how he calls everyone whom he doesn't trust "ghosts," as if they are only figments of his imagination. We need to turn this into a movie or something. It's impressive to see how he's gone completely insane; everyone keeps asking him about a check and blaming him for things he didn't do, he has a nagging suspicious that half of the people he's talked with for the last few months are conspiring against him, and after a week-long trip to Cameroon he is no closer to receiving his money. At this point he's going to be in an insane asylum by the end of next month.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Sir i appreciate your effort but i don't like the hash words your using on me, i am not an idiot please try not to use them on me again i don't like it and am loosing my patience on it , all the same i will wait until i hear from you as you said,also i have not done anything to make this check not to come, you are the only one that have the power to help me that is why am disturbing you, to be honest i never thought that our relationship will turn bad like this. i will wait your response

Quote:

So my words hurt your little feelings? Well tough. Maybe instead of getting your panties in a bunch you should reflect on what I am telling you and maybe you will realize that i am right. Like I said, I will check on the status of your check today. A nice big Thank You Mr. Penfold! would be in order

VOTE PENFOLD!

What could have possibly happened to his check? Hmmmmm..... I assure you that whatever it is i will be his fault. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:41 pm

You could say it was donated to charity to help find Hurricane Harvey victims. I would love to see his reaction to that. He's still been silent to me. I'll just stay on the sidelines for now. Maybe Penfold could tell him to contact Justin for something or other.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Thank You Mr. Penfold

Quote:

Don't you dare thank me you son of a bitch. Are you really so fucking stupid that you didn't think I would check and see that the check had already been cashed? I cannot believe that after all I have done for you you would try and con me. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was when the state Comptroller told me that the certified check was cashed? You have made me a laughing stock and fucked up my campaign. Got to hell you scammer!

VOTE PENFOLD!

Countdown to panicked response in 3...2....1....

I wonder who could have cashed that check? Who could hate the lad so muc h that he/she would do something so despicable? I'll give you a hint - It's not Feathers.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

30 minutes to respond. Longer than I thought

Quote:

YOU ARE VERY STUPID TO SAY THAT I CASH A CHECK THAT I NEVER HOLD, YOU ARE IDIOT AND YOU ARE A SCAMMER, I DID NOT GET YOUR STUPID CHECK THAT NEVER EXISTED, YOU WILL DIE BESIDE YOUR NAME IS NOT ON THE CAMPAIGN LIST YOU MUUMUU, YOU WILL DIE MISERABLY FOOL

I do not think he is very happy.

eta - five minutes later

Quote:

HOW CAN A POOR MAN LIKE YOU WRITE A CHECK, I SWEAR YOUR MOTHER MUST BE DISAPPOINTED AT YOU,YOU WILL SURFER TILL YOU DIE, HOW I WISH I CAN LOOK STRAIGHT INTO YOUR EYES AND TELL YOU HOW GOOD FOR NOTHING YOU ARE. , LIKE MOTHER L;IKE SON, THAT YOUR MOTHER THAT EVERY IDIOT IN THE STREET HAS SLEPT WITH? GOD PUNISH YOU FOR SAYING I CASH THAT YOUR STUPID CHECK, MUUMU

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I think we have driven him insane

Quote:

MY IDIOT YOU REMEMBER THAT CURSE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT? TODAY I RETURN IT AND REVERSE IT TO YOU. IT ALL BELONG TO YOU NOW , I DECLARE IN JESUS NAME THAT FROM TODAY YOUR CURSE AND EVERYTHING THAT WILL COME FROM YOU ARE CURSE, ALL MY CHALLENGES MY BAD AND MY BAD SIDE NOW BELONG TO YOU, I AM FREE NOW AND YOU WILL SURFER MY SURFER AND YOU AND YOU HOUSE HOLD WILL DIE ON IT, FOR YOUR INFORMATION THE DELIVERY COMPANY SAID THEY HAVE THE PACKAGE NOW HOW CAN I CASH THE CHECK WHEN THAT YOUR STUPID DELIVERY COMPANY HAS THE STUPID PACKAGE? FOOL, I DECLARE YOU YOU CURSE FROM TODAY, YOU HAVE CARRIED ALL MY BAD FROM TODAY AND SO SHALL IT BE.

Followed 30 seconds later by

Quote:

DON'T YOU EVER EMAIL ME AGAIN , YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON YOUR MISERABLE LOW LIFE AND ASK YOUR MOTHER TO WASH HER SMELLING PUSSY WELL BECAUSE THE LAST FOOL THAT FUCK HER SAYS IT IS SMELLING

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 2:35 am

^^ That my friend, is awesome.

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 2:49 am

Louis breaks the bad news to the lad:

Quote:

I am truly sorry to be the one to have to tell you this. I spoke with Mr Joe Bob after our weekly staff meeting this morning, and he said that your agreement with him was that you would not receive any payment until after you have a signed contract to pose for the magazine. He also seemed annoyed that you were trying to change the deal on him after you had already made an agreement.

Honestly, I think he is being a little unreasonable dealing with a star like yourself in this manner, but he is the editor of the magazine, so what he says is final. So unfortunately we will need to ask you to fill the questionnaire before we can advance you any money for the photo shoot. I hope you understand.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn't like it:

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THANK YOU SO MUCH, AS THIS IS THE LAST EMAIL YOU WILL GET FROM ME

Louis disagrees with the decision, so he explores the possibility of sending the lad an advance anyway:

Quote:

I don't understand, why are you being so hostel to me? This is not my fault! I told Mr Joe Bob that he should pay you in advance! I said that yours is the kind of talent we need to pay top dollars for, but he refused!

You know what, let me see if I can do something for you. I don't like going beyond Mr Joe Bob's back like this, but I really think he is wrong about this one, and sometimes in this business you need to take risks. We absolutely must have you in our magazine, and it would be a sham to loose you over a silly contract dispute!

Give me an idea, what are you looking for in advance of filling the form? I'll see what I can do.

The lad tells Louis what he is looking for:

Quote:

Sir the initial proposal he gave me was $5000 upfront and $5000 after it has been published,then i got greedy and i told him that he should pay $10.000 /10.000 and he accepted. see what your asking me to do is not a big deal to fill the form, i did something similar to that twice and i was betrayed that was why i was angry with the beavers island,but that is past now, my problem is not the money but i just want to be sure that am not been played again and if you can not do it that way, i will never do anything , but for the prize for the upfront, if you can pay unto that $5000 as he said earlier before now, it will be ok or you can pay anything that will make me to be sure we are in business, then you will have my loyalty but till then thanks for believen in me

Louis will try to cajole him some more tomorrow.

Jayhawk, I know you're thinking that we shouldn't agree to the advance, but I think we can get more mileage out of him if we agree to it but then completely fail at sending the money, so he starts getting very frustrated.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

So does this mean Penfold doesn't get the Nigerian community vote after all?

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:19 am

I don't think so either sparky. He is definitely broken. Even if he doesn't want any responses, I am sure he would really love to talk to Penfold more. I wonder what would happen if Feathers said that he somehow stole the check and cashed it. There are definitely some good sig lines in there. Even if he doesn't go on safari again or anything like that, hopefully he keeps responding to us so we can make sure that he is completely broken.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Oh, some wonderful Nigerian curses! Bwhahahaha

Well done, Humpers, you've finally blown your top.

Now it's time for someone to point there splayed fingers at you and tell you: "Your mama!" . Laughing

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