Samuel from Benin - a new MUIE story

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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 7:48 am

After a loooong summer and maaaany holidays Very Happy

, it's time to get back to work seriously. One of the guys who promises a lot is Samuel of Benin so let me introduce you the "new star". Laughing

As you already know, I like the stories with the church, priests, bishops and classical trophies, so I decided to try a re-writing Obi's success story ( https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=280353&start=700 ). Laughing

The characters:

Me - Father Eduard - old, very rich, senile... he wants to build a new cathedral in Africa.
Me - Georget - Eduard's assistant... rapacious, greedy, cunning... he wants to rob the church and needs an African accomplice.
Me - Father Nectarie - the secretary of the MUIE church
Me - Cardinal Eufrosie - the head of the church

The lad - Robert Frankforth
The lad - Sam Njoku
------------------------------------------------------

The first steps

The story started sometime in June, in the classic mode, with a "standard" message that I found in one of my baiting Inboxes:

Quote:

Dear Beneficiary,

The previous message you got from us was directed to you based on the order from the office of the International relation / Liaison office Washington Dc after the intervention of the International Monetary Funds Agency (IMF) and the G8 Summit meeting headed last regarding the settlement of all Winning / Inheritance funds to the Beneficiaries.

We have actually been authorized by the Honorable President of Benin Republic west Africa and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) secretary general to contact you for your overdue payment. This is the second time your Payment file has come to my table, and every time an Executive Order comes from the government ordering that your fund should be recalled back to the World Bank Escrow account, without any genuine reason.
Meanwhile, our Payment Settlement System (PSS) has received another permanent Authority / Irrevocable Release / Unconditional payments guarantee by the UN office Washington DC to pay you off your Winning / Inheritance Funds via ATM Visa Card.

Your ATM CARD is ready and here is your new Payment Reference No.97861109, Allocation No: 510231 Password No: 009871, Pin Code No: 0724 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No: 9210, ATM Visa Card Released Code No: 2170; Immediate Telex confirmation No: 9400161, Secret Code No: **FW095.
The reference numbers above will provide security to your funds and will guaranty a hitch free transaction. With the reference numbers above, you do not need any form of anti terrorist certificate from any Agency. You are covered from any form of harassment from FBI, IMF or Interpol.

We shall convey your ATM CARD to your address through a courier service.The moment you receive your ATM CARD, do get back to this office immediately to guide you through as you start to withdraw your funds. We work 24 hours for your services.

Dr. Robert Frankforth.
Public Relation Officer
Phone SMS Only (202) 792-2357

I replied from Georget (Eduard's assistant) account:

Quote:

Are you crazy? Fuck your scamm letter!
I know you are just a hungry thief, somewhere in West Africa.
If you want to make serious money, you must work with me. I have a big client, I have a full plan, I have all the required knowledges.

I work for a senile old man who is a pastor at one christian church. They build churches in Africa (they already have one new church ready in Mozambique). They send there money and packages.
Now these old idiots from the church is looking to find a trusted man to handle the construction of another church in an African country. We can make hundreds of thousands of dollars together.
Don't fuck me and we can be rich. Both of us!

Georget

The lad:

Quote:

Guy, you too are a hungry lion looking for who to devour, Right now am ready for that your client and i want you to tell me more about that your so called client and what and what did they want to make them convinced so that we will collect the money and be rich together one love.

Georget:

Quote:

I've been working for over 20 years for a rich old man. He had a construction company and he's rich. A few years ago he had a car accident and his wife and his boy died.
Since then he has withdrawn from public life and has enrolled in this fucking church.
All his money is for the church. All his minds is for the church. All his life is for the church!
He is almost 90 years old and he dreams of building a large cathedral before he dies. It's like a kind of "last wish".

I have full power over him, I control his computer and I have legally empowerment over his bank accounts.
You must convince him that you are a faithful, Christian man who wants to spread the seeds of Faith in your country.

Further on, I will only tell you after convincing me of a few things.
Georget

The lad:

Quote:

Hello Georget,

Please i want to ask some questions,
(1) I want to know your country of origin
(2) i want to now were you are living now
(3) Your mobile Phone number
(4) The exactly money involve on this transaction.

Then after this i want us to take the business to another face

Georget:

Quote:

The church where these idiots are active is located in Romania, in one of the mountain provinces.
The head of MUIE church is His Excellency Cardinal Eufrosie, best good friend to my boss.
My boss (father Eduard Vasilescu) is the main sponsor of the church and all his money is spent on religious and humanitarian activities: orphanages, church buildings, poor people, etc.
I'm Georget and I'm personal assistant of father Vasilescu Eduard.
I'm full empowered on his bank accounts, I'm his "right hand" from many-many years (more than 20 years).
It's clear for you? OK, let's get started!

1) What's your real name? In what country are you living in real life?
- Robert Frankfort sounds like hell, right? If you really want to work together, will be necessary for you to have a "valid african" name. For "credibility of the story".
- I do not want to see your real fucking ID papers, but I need a "valid name" for you.

2) You have to gain the trust of my old boss Eduard Vasilescu.
- His personal email: eduard@mail
- Make him believe that his money will be invested in a serious job: an orphanage for poor children, a some fucking church building, whatever... everything is at your fingertips.
- He is a very religious man, so can you seriously consider this "church building operation". But the final decision is to you, because you have to be good at this.
- Last year, in August, he was tricked by someone in Nigeria and he lost almost $500,000. Now, that old idiot are more cautious. More cautious!
- But, nevertheless, he still wants to invest in Africa, for new church buildings. And all the rest of stupid priests from MUIE church agreeing this idea. God, what idiots!
You can believe that they still want to spend money in Africa? Jesus, what fools!

3) You must pretend to be a Christian man. You have to pretend that you wants to become a member of their Church (because those idiots doing business only with other members of their faith).
- If you tell them you're a Christian, then join the church formalities are relatively simple.
- I do not know exactly, maybe they need a religious picture, an paper application to join the cult, something like that.

Our luck is that these idiots already have a subsidiary MUIE church in Mosambique and "we will go on the road already trodden".
- I can plead to my boss Eduard for you to be named "their" Reverend Local and also "their" Project Manager (for the construction of the new church there).
- From what I know, you have to found a free land for construction of the church (in reality, you're going to photo-shoot a camp and pretend like that is "Land for sale").
- There will be some documents/acts to be photoshop-made (I hope you're doing well in this regard).
- Must will be to complete some paperwork relating to the price of construction materials and the cost of workers.
- Surely you (as Local Reverend) must seek for a few people about who you can pretend to be "the new members" of "the new MUIE church".
Any payment will be made by "legal" invoice, and here prices must be tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands dollars.

4) So, shortly, for we can take them all this money, you need to have patience with them (they are just some old idiots) and to make them believe things coming very well to the church yard.
- They have monthly meetings at their Church, where they discuss and approve all the payments. The budget for building the church in Tete (Mozambique) was $1.9 million, and I want to get as much (maybe a little more).
- We need to gather as many-many bills as we can, so that we can make one large big payment (I want to get from them an amount between 2.2 and 2.4 million dollars).

It needs a valid (real) bank account where we have access only you and me! Nothing else!
- I have to make my passport ready and I have to prepare to run away the country immediately after "we pay all the bills for the church."
- The money will goes into this account, and there we can divide the whole amount. After my calculations, we will have approximately 1 million each of us.
- I am going to need to know where (what city/country) you really are, because I need to buy plane-ticket in advance.
- The "new church" must be "builded" there! You surely will be asked about a city in your country, where "we" to build a church.
Be very careful! "Your" bank account must match your country! We can not have an account from Argentina, and the church building to pretend it is in Nigeria. OK?
We have to prepare well ALL the details so our story to be more credible.

- I am tired to remain only with crumbs from his rich table. I want to be rich, because I am next to him for twenty years and I deserve this.
- If you work with me, you will be rich too, because the old fool is full of money.
- In all his accounts, this old fool are more than seven million dollars. I can manage to take enough money and both of us we can arrange our lives. For ever!

Remember! I work with money for over 2 decades and I know the deal... I know how to do money disappear here and appear elsewhere.
We should not let our footprints behind, because I'll have to disappear from here after doing the "final payment".
I do not want to talk on the phone because Romania is a NATO member (a military alliance) and all phone conversations are recorded and kept in a security archive.
After we steal the money, the police will be in my footsteps, and I do not want to be tied to any kind of detail.

Do not try anything stupid with me, you'll regret it deeply!
The arrangement is honest and we can enrich both.
The rest of details remain to discuss them at the right time.

I control all the situation, I have the rich fool guy in my hands, I am the man who can "pay" money... you just have to trick him, for to believe anything.

Think carefully and tell me if you're with me. I know how they think and understand how they react. We can convince them to pay a lot of money if you listen to me and do exactly as I say.
You have to understand that they are some naive elders who are obsessed with their religion. So all we have to do is convince them that you are the right person to build their own church.

You must be good at false (fake) documents and you must be respectful with them.
If you want to be partners, we can start.
Georget

The lad:

Quote:

Hello Georget,

Your mails was received and the content thereof was understood, now I’ am SAM NJOKU resides in Port Novo Benin Republic.

Now, coming to a bank account I have a valid bank account here in port novo that is good for the transactions of any kind, now we have to trust each other and make it

possible to understand were we are going and you no this kind of business is not what we will like to have a trace left behind after the deal has done every body has

to relocate to a better place and for a better life, further more I Sam don’t have a problem at my end and am a man of integrity and principle I don’t like child play

for no reason and I can guarantee you that if this deal work out successfully as planed your own part of the cake is intact and am very sure you no what it means this

days to make money so I don’t take this my business for granted and I think I no the consequences very much that, “It’s must that I keep the laws to avoid putting

myself in a trouble”.

Now I still insist that I must now your country of origin for in my end I have to no were you were originated, like myself am a Nigerian and resides here in port Novo

for my business which you have in contact with, and that is how we survived here so am an expert on this type of business and since I have been doing these legal

business I never encounter a dime problem of any king and I have been doing the business and making sure that what will bring such a trouble is avoided that is what

make me a man of principle and integrity, I have encounter so may partners and we end up doing well and everybody will be safe and sound so I guess your will never be

a problem rather change of level 2017.

Now that I now were the money is coming from and you are working there that is a wonderful, now the big deal has to start now, How did you want me to contact this your

boss father Eduard Vasilescu or shoud I go through the church website? I no that you might have some details on how the church in Tete (Mozambique) has come in

contact with your boss or the ministry. This details is very important to avoid mistake because I have come all out for this business and ready to give it all that it

takes, remember I am not in a hurry just gather the information and send it to me to arrange it and then send it to you for confirmation before I will now contact any

of the official address that you will provide for me to contact.

Coming to a land that they will require I have them I mean real land but you no that it is fake just take the photos and I will like to no, will they like the church

to be in a city or a near by village that is along the express road that lead to the city or will they like it to be in a city? If yes there is no problem I can get

them some empty plot of land capture for the church building and orphanage and charity home and schools were the children can be taken care of and even maternal home,

so be rest assure that all this things that I mentioned will be very handled by me and what I need now is the information on how I can start to convince them and

become one of their member and am ready to become their local reverend here also and make sure that you do not associate us with the Mozambique church try all you

could to make our very own to direct contact with them to enable us hit the nail at the head. We will try to tell them that Mozambique is a country on it own and it is

very far away in Benin Republic.

Once again thank you very much for this great offer and am ready for the partnership, as I wait to hear from you for the start up.

SAM

Georget:

Quote:

Sam,
First of all, I am originally from Armenia (a former Russian republic). I came to Romania 27 years ago and since then I live here. The MUIE church is a romanian Christian church, and Father Eduard is my direct boss. He is very old and helpless, so I took over the position of driver, butler, banker, etc. His whole life depends on me.

The first step is to send a message to Eduard ( eduard@mail ) and tell him that you are a good Christian from Benin and ask for help for your community of parishioners.
Tell him you had a flood, or a storm, or a fire that destroyed people's homes and you need help. Whatever you want.

For now you MUST NOT mention anything about their church, so they will not become suspicious!
I control Eduard's computer, so I'll show her your message and I'll make him come in contact with you. Be respectful and patient, because he is a crazy old man who can be extraordinarily annoying. But he has the money we want!

Watch out for an important aspect: Answer him as soon as he writes you to get his attention!

Other details:

- The subsidiary MUIE church from Mosambique is leaded by Bishop Adama Wiliam... I don't know him personally, I don't meet him yet.
- The business there started from a humanitarian aid message sent by a former local reverend. He managed to convince Eduard and indeed it seems that things went well.
- The MUIE church in Mozambique is functioning and the connections with the Romanian MUIE Church are quite tight.
- Their policy with regard to subsidiaries is to ensure the financial independence of each church, so we do not have to fear about Bishop Adama's community.

It is important that the place you choose for "the new Benin church" is in a populated area. To claim that they will be the parishioners of the future community.
It does not matter "the place", but people around it matter very much! These mad elders have the claim to help everyone who suffers, so we need to have some people "in need of help".
You understand me?

I hope you are good at producing documents, because we will need some fake papers that we can present as evidence of our new operation in Benin.
Certainly there will be some people who we can present as "future local church parishioners". Do you think you can handle this?

So, your first step is to write one "help message" to father Eduard.
Please, do it as soon as you can! Here, in Romania, is 15:54 local time.
Georget

- This took almost a month, the messages being written at 1-2 times a day,
- the lad was hooked, so he accepted to work with Georget.
-------------------------------------------------

The beginning of the story

The lad sends to Georget (for "pre-approval") the message thet he (the lad) wants to write to father Eduard:

Quote:

Hello Georget, Bellow is the proposal please review it and get back to me before i send it to him.

Good day sir Eduard Vasilescu,

I’ am SAM NJOKU from Benin republic am a genuine Christian I love God and I fear him and respect him and also am a man that love humanity, there is a floods disaster in my Community of parishioners that need some aid to help them put a roof on their head, and I have been looking for the means to carry out this quest to save lives and properties of the average middle man in my community of parishioners.

Thank you very much for your consideration into our very own world that is full of suffering, hunger, homeless and starvation, I will be glad to hear from you sir may you continually be bless above all.

May the peace and the love of God Almighty continually to be with you in Jesus Name

Bro. Sam Njoku

- for me, in real life, was the time when my vacation started ... I left the country and I did not have time / mood for baiting.
- I needed to find an excuse for "my absence", so I invoked the reason for an annual religious trip. Laughing

Georget wrotte to the lad:

Quote:

Hey Sam, very good! It's all right, send it imediately to Eduard.
If you send him today, I guarantee that Eduard will respond to the message (because I will show him your message and I will convince him that he has to get involved).

Please keep in mind that there is a period of salvation and that I will leave with Eduard in Mount Athos - Greece. The MUIE Church has a place of worship there and every priest goes every year on a religious and spiritual journey. This sabbatical journey takes 10-12 days, during which we will not be able to communicate very efficiently. Mount Athos is a mountainous region in Greece, where there are only churches and monasteries and where other people (civilian) do not have access. They only get there with a special access permit and modern technology is not acceptable. Those monks live still like in the 12th century. Prayers and posts. Fuck all of this shit!

Probably we're leaving Monday, July 10th. But until then, it is good to establish contact with Eduard and start the "discussion." I will take care of influencing it throughout this period so as to accept your proposals. We'll probably be back in Romania on July 24th.

The lad want to sent the "introduction" message to father Eduard... and the story can started!

Quote:

I have sent the message

Georget:

Quote:

Sam, good evening. We went to visit the MUIE church orphanage. Now I'm home. I'll get Edward to check his messages.

Everything is OK.
I will come back with more details.
Georget

Another message from Georget to the lad... with "the confirmation" and with some new advices:

Quote:

Sam,
father Eduard agrees to help the people in your town, but you have to tell him that you are a Christian and that you believe in the Holy Lamb. You will have to ask to become a member of their church and you must tell them that you are glad to be part of the MUIE congregation. You must move fast, because we have a little time to go until I have to go with him on that journey where he's been praying all day. Fuck him and fuck his faith!
Georget

The lad, to Georget:

Quote:

I receive the message now and am about to reply his message and i will forward it to you ok

Georget:

Quote:

Sam,
The date of departure in the sabbatical journey was overtaken by 24 hours, because I do not know what shit fucking "holy days". So, we'll leave tomorrow morning, before the sun rises.
I can tell you that I started to persuade Eduard to "help the poor people who need help". I'm convinced that together we can take a lot of money from these old idiots.

Cardinal Eufrosie is the same, an old and senile man (he and Eduard were comrades in world war II) and he is the person who makes the decisions in the MUIE Church. If Eufrosie blesses the action, our success is assured.
Do not worry, because I know how to handle with old Eduard. And Eufrosie not refuse Eduard ever. So, we have the money in our hands and we just have to get it right.
Do not do anything stupid until I return (Monday, July 24). Ok?

Georget

The lad "propose" the new "introduction" message for father Eduard:

Quote:

should i send it to him now?

Good day sir Eduard Vasilescu,

My name is SAM NJOKU, Am from Benin Republic I live in a town of port novo in Benin republic, am a born again Christian I believed in the lamb of GOD who is Jesus Christ the savior., Sir, I Sam want to appreciate your effort in coming into the gap in the life of the innocent poor masses of this community that are in need of a life assistance, the details of the incident are as follows,

There is out break of flood around this coastal area and also a windy storm that renders some of the middle man homeless, there houses were destroyed some are as the result of the flood they are looking for the means to settle down at least to have a little shelter on their head write now they are homeless and were squatting the lively hood over them now is worrying and the government care less for this community, it is true that I don’t know you sir, but am willing to become one of your member in the church as you said, if that is what it requires from my side it is a welcome idea and I will love to become one of yours.

Thank you very much sir for coming into the live of these communities that are crying for help if there is anything else that you need to no please don’t hesitate to ask me.

I shall be looking forward to hear from you sir.
Indeed you are a blessing to this generation.

Yours faithfully

Sam

Georget approve "the introduction message" for father Eduard:

Quote:

Yes, it's a very good message. Send it immediately.

I can not guarantee that he will answer to your message (probably he's already slept), but starting tomorrow I will be with him in the car and we will have time to talk about it.
If we do not hurry and if we do not make a wrong move, then we will be able to take their money.

I'll look for you after we get home. Ok?

The lad answer to Georget:

Quote:

Please don't force him too much to start suspecting you at least you can make it to be flexible and let him think about it very well and also make sure you keep your email account private if possible make sure that you are deleting every of our email conversation so that there will not be anything that will look like suspect at your end. and don't worry you can count on me, if a thousand dollar comes out you will get your share accurately direct to you through bank transfer or western union or money gram money transfer i will do that for you ok pls remember to play smart ok and keep it private and confidential.
Sam

Georget, to the lad:

Quote:

Sam,
You do not have to worry because I know him very well and I know exactly which buttons to push. I have been with him for over 20 years, so I know exactly how he thinks.
He likes to talk, and I listen carefully. Then we talk to each other and he demands my opinion. We do not have to hurry at all.
If you are respectful and fulfill all their demands, then they will gain confidence in you and we will be able to claim that they have to pay large sums of money for various things related to the church.

Remember!
1) Show them great Respect for them (they are old idiots and are used to being treated with deference)
2) To respond quickly to their messages ... they do not like to wait (they no longer have patience).
3) Be proactive to their demands, to appear to be the "providential" man the church needs.

I'm going to bed, because tomorrow is waiting for me a long way.
We'll talk when I get back!
Georget

The lad, a "good night" message:

Quote:

Alright, no problem i appreciate your effort and he respond back to me now and i have responded back to him, so i will glad to have your message at your return and make sure that you send email to me on your arrival so that we can continue from were we stop and also i will like to have some tips on what and what they want from me so that i can make them ready before their message if possible.
but with one we have gone so far everything is under control and i wish you journey mercies
SAM

After 2 weeks, the lad wrote to Georget:

Quote:

Hello Georget, are you back from your journey? if so thank be to God for journey mercies, how is father Eduard and his co comrades?? pls i want to hear from you so that we can move ahead with our business and i pray that this year will be a good year for both of us.

Your Reliable friend
Sam

Georget:

Quote:

Hey Sam, Good news is very good. I managed to convince Eduard to build a cathedral, not a simple church. If we play our cards well, then we'll be millionaires. This idiot wants to stay here for a few more days, I do not know exactly. It is together with other prelates from Serbia, Lithuania and Bulgaria and they have a kind of religious conference (I do not know exactly what it is called).
I walked out of the monastery and got a car at the gas station. I found free WiFi point. We'll talk next week. Georget

The lad:

Quote:

Alright, we will keep each other in touch thank you for the update and the effort you are putting on this business and i hope we will conquer by wining on the battle of brain and for the betterment of our lives and the future.
SAM

My vacation period was finished, so I'm ready for action... so, Georget wrote:

Quote:

Sam,
Finally, we are home now, after more than 18 hours of driving car. You MUST send a message to father Eduard and ask him how his prayer trip went. Confirm once again that you are decided to become a MUIE member and that you want to actively participate in the construction of the new MUIE cathedral.

Georget

-----------------------------------------------

Are the first days of August and, at this moment, the situation is the following:

- the lad (Sam) sent his first message to Father Eduard and awaits a reply from him,
- Georget advises Sam, Laughing

- Sam sends all his messages the first time to Georget to be "preapproved". Laughing

The story will continue in my next post ... right away!
We already have the first trophies! Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:45 am

Father Eduard, father Nectarie and first trophies! Laughing

- Father Eduard is delighted with the message he has received from the lad (see my previous posts).
- Before anything else, Samuel must become a member of the MUIE community. Laughing

Quote:

Dear my son, dear Samuel,

- It is terrible when people suffer because of nature! It is the will of God, and the only way of salvation is intense prayer. May our Jesus will be with you!
- Yes, of course we can help your community. It is our duty as Christians and lovers of Jesus, as the Holy Lamb of entire humanity.
- But, before anything else, you have to know that our Church doing business only with members of our congregations. It's a rule of our community. We help each other, between members of MUIE Church.
- So, if you need some kind of help from our Church, you must become member of our Faith. We are a Christian church from Romania (Eastern Europe) and we have orphanage and charity activities in our country and in Tete (in african country Mosambique).
- I will be delighted to help your poor community, but firstly you must agree to become a full MUIE members of the Church.
- I need more details about all tragedy there. I want to konw if you are a true Christian man. I need to know where are you from (your poor city).

I expect more details from you about the tragedy your people are going through.
With the help of Holy Faith, we will overcome all the obstacles and we will help people who need help and who have true Faith in their souls.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of Jesus, as our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

The lad, to father Eduard:

Quote:

Dear sir, father Eduard., it is my pleasure to welcome your church here in the town of port novo, we the entire community is willing and ready to accept this life time offer and by the grace of God and share the same holy faith with you sir, as a believer the people of this community will be glad to join this great commission and willing to be part of this great change in their lives, I will assemble the entire people and send this heart felt and warm message from you and trust me their will be a lot of smiles in their faces because they are the people that believes in God. And I will be glad to receive more directions and the next thing to do sir, in your return. Please intercedes for us for a better tomorrow sir, safe journey and have a wonderful trip, God bless you and hear your prayers sir.

Your holy son
SAM NJOKU

I already introduce Father Nectarie (the church's secretary) in this story. Laughing

Father Eduard, to Samuel (the lad):

Quote:

Goog morning my dear son Sam,

I'm glad to hear you again because we are (all of us) only sheep in Lord's army.
As the holy martyr Eustratia said in his epistle to the Tatar Khan: "Blessed are they who have nothing, for they will receive everything! If the power of their faith is great, then the mountains will return and the waters will break in before their eyes!"I made a long journey and prayed for the good of mankind. Every being, every soul, needs support and serious help.

Today it will be orphanage's day and just now I'm in front of my computer. I have tons of emails, you know the situation.
Please, contact our Church Secretary, father Nectarie ( nectarie@mail ).

I already told him about you and he knows what it is all about. He is the person who deals with all the official papers of the MUIE church and will be able to guide you. I will be your spiritual mentor as a "celestial father" and I will support you with all necessary advice. I will also be your "sponsor", after you will act an active part of our community.
Please come back to me as soon as all the admission formalities are completed and as soon as you can talk to us in your new role as Local Reverend.
If you encounter any kind of problem, please contact me and I will help you with tips and ideas.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

The lad, to father Eduard:

Quote:

Dear sir, father Eduard.,

I' am glad to receive your message and the instructions were carefully followed, i have written to Father Nectarie, bellow is my message to him,

Dear Sir, father Nectarie, My name is Sam Njoku from Benin republic West Africa, I was told to contact you by Father Eduard who is my spiritual Father, to inquire on the formalities to under go in becoming a full member of the MUIE Church, Please Sir, I want to hear from you to no the requirement and the directions to follow thank you very much sir I will be glad to hear from you.

Your son
SAM NJOKU

-------------------------------------------------

The first stage of Admission: "Presentation of your Faith"

- Samuel sent the same message to father Nectarie...
- father Nectarie answer to the lad.
- father Nectarie start the "admission procedures" Laughing

Quote:

Holy Lamb will bless your soul, Sam Njoku! You have to know that you have great protectors in our Church. Father Eduard already talked about you with our leader His Excellence Cardinal Eufrosie.

So, let me introduce myself properly.
- I'm father Nectarie and my position in MUIE church hierarchy is general secretary. I have a duty to take care of all documents out of the church and to check that all important documents are in order and well prepared.
- I am a practical man and do not like to talk too much.
- Please keep in mind all these aspects in your communication with me.

Ok, let's start the discussion regarding your registration as a member of MUIE community. His Excellence, our venerable Cardinal Eufrosie, God bless Him, he asked me for to you to apply the most simple admission procedure. So, regulation of our Church requires some steps, necessary and compulsory, for each new regular member of our Faith:

The first stage is the "Presentation of your Faith".

1) You have to fulfil a simple form of "Adhesion" to our MUIE Church:
- It is a standardized document, which I will send it to you attached to this message.
- It is written in Romanian, but I'll give you immediately all the details in English.
- Should be completed in capital letters (uppercase), in English (we will do all translation & notarization here in Romania).

2) You have to answer to some questions about our Holy Faith:
- Which's your prefered chapter in the Holy Book?
- Who's your favorite Saint personality of our Faith?
- Which is your favorite prayer. Why?

3) You have to send me your personal "Proof of Faith" photo-confession.
- Is just a personal picture that will confess your Faith in the sacred Holy Lamb (our MUIE church patron).
- Must be accompanied by "the sacred words of the Faith", printed on a large paper / cardboard.
- The photo must be done outside in sunlight. This requirement is related to some religious aspects of our Faith, but still not appropriate to go into such details now.
- For compliance I ask you to look on the church website, where you can see various pictures of other members of our church (from MUIE community which is pastored by Bishop Adama in Tete).
- I'll send you our "sacred words of the Faith", that you can print directly.

4) Our honorable Cardinal, His Excellence Eufrosie told me that our generous sponsor (father Eduard) insisted for you to be ready to become a Local Reverend Local / Project Manager. Is this true? In this case, I will send you another document to be completed (it's necessary for Human Resources office and it's not related to your membership). You must print, fill out and scan back to me.

Let me help you with English translation of Adhesion form:

-----------------------------

Adhesion translated form - MUIE church:

1) Nume si Prenume = full name and surname
2) Adresa = full address
3) Telefon (numai pentru Marii Preoti) = does not apply here because it relates just to the high priests
4) Recomandare = recommendation (It is about "who guarantees for who"... father Eduard - for you, Sam Njoku ... You, Sam - for anoher good people, etc)
5) Cum ati aflat de Sfanta noastra biserica = how you found our Holy Church (by recommendations, or from the internet, or from another person, from radio/TV, etc.)
6) Citatul preferat din Cartea Sfanta = favorite quote from the Holy Book
7) Descrieti pe scurt evenimentul care v-a apropiat de divinitate = in short, what you did to be faithful
8 ) Doresc remuneratie lunara? Da / Nu = I wish monthly remuneration? Yes / No (for YES option will be needed additional documents)
9) Enumerati primele 3 activitati de prioritate in cadrul MUIE = after becoming a member of the parish, which is your purpose of the future - 3 activities)
10) Subsemnatul ____ doresc sa devin membru al congregatiei bisericii "Mielului Unic - Independenta si Eterna" (MUIE) , doresc sa promovez Dreapta Cale a Credintei in cel puternic. Asa sa ma ajute Mielul Sfant! = Undersigned_______ wish to become a member of the congregation The Singular Church of Unique and Eternal Lamb (MUIE) want to strongly promote the Right Path of Faith. Holy Lamb so help me!

Date / Signature
-------------------------------

When you have everything ready, I expect a message from you.
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

The lad sent just one of the required files... his personal "resumee".

Quote:

Dear Sir, father Nectarie, I am very sorry for the late response it due to poor facilities that we have here that is why I did not meat up in time and am very sure that you will be upset with me but please find a place in your heart to forgive me for all I have coast you. But all Glory is to God now that everything is under control, it will not happen again I promise. Bellow is the information that you needed from me and please if there is something that remains I will like to receive them with all my heart. And I have attached all that you requested from me.

Father Nectarie is very dissapointed:

Quote:

Sam Njoku, I think you're joking with our Holy Church and I do not want to tolerate it!
You sent only some of the required entries in the first admission stage (only # 4 of my previous message).
Where are the 3 remaining requirements? Please carefully read my message to you:
# 1 - your Adhesion to the Faith,
# 2 - answers to questions about the Holy Faith
# 3- your Proof of Faith personal photography

You only have 2 days to complete the requirements of the first admission stage. Until Friday, no more!
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

Also, father Eduard is upset:

Quote:

Dear Sam, may the Holy Lamb wil bless you.
In this morning I meet father Nectarie, and let me say you that He is very disappointed and did not stop saying that.
It's been almost a week, and you did not respond to His initial message, which shows a lack of respect for the Elders of our Church.
My dear son, if you are not in permanent contact with me and you are not serious, know that we will cease any future collaboration.
The MUIE church is not a playground, and I'm not the man to play with our Faith.

Be blessed,
father Eduard

After few days, Samuel sent the first trophies... his handwritten "Adhesion to the Church" and his "Proof of Faith" picture. Laughing

Quote:

- My preferred chapter in the Holy Book is John
- Saint Peter
- my favorite prayer is in Mathew 6:9-13 which says our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come they will be done in earth, as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever Amen.
- Because everything I need to survive in life is in it, and it is the beginning of all prayer supplications to the Almighty God.

----------------------------------------------------------

The second stage of Admission: "Sacred Questions and Visual Interpretations from the Bible"

I have to give credit (for my inspiration) to the story with Archie: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=282741 clapping

father Nectarie, to Sam:

Quote:

Brother Sam Njoku, God will bless you!

I'm very glad to hear you back and you have to know that father Eduard pleade for you in a very very strong way. His role, as celestial father of you, involve also one first financial support ($10,000) and our Elders were delighted with Eduard's words. Yours financial aid has been approved "de facto" as soon as you complete the admission procedure amongst the prominent MUIE members. "De jure", you are already accepted, only a few formalities remain.

The second stage of admission is "Sacred Questions and Visual Interpretations from the Bible"

... it's a very simple stage and I'm very sure there will be not any problems for you. It's about some questions about our Holy Book, in your vision. As you will see it, in your belief ... religious views are usually revealed following intense prayers.

Please read carefully the Bible and answer to the following questions:

1. What do you believe that Moses’ intentions were when he parted the Red Sea? Whom did he save? Draw your interpretation of Moses parting the Red Sea.

2. In Genesis 15:9 , the Lord requests very specific items. What do you believe the Lord intended to use these items for, and do think that he share them with the Old Gods? Draw the items below.

3. As described in Deuteronomy 23:1, the Lord do not accept those whom have partaken in genital mutilation. Do you swear upon the Gods that your genitals have not been removed? What are two forms of genital mutilation that you would deem unacceptable in your eyes. Draw your personal interpretation.

4. Have you ever engaged in prostitution? The Lord can forgive this crime, but admittance is required for acceptance into the church. Describe three types of prostitution that you would consider immoral or unacceptable in your eyes. Draw your personal interpretation.

5. Draw your interpretation of the running away of the young man described in Mark 14:51. Who was this young man, and do you believe that he had ill intent?

6. The MUIE Church is planning on building several new temples in Asia and Africa beginning in 2017. Draw your ideal version of what one of these new temples should look like, including worshippers outside kneeling to the statues of the Holy Lamb. What county is this temple located in? Would you build a temple if the Lord commanded you to?

7. In the Testaments of the Old Gods, Methusila describes a fierce battle between Lathiathan the Great and the evil 3-headed serpent, as Marry watches from the cave. Lathiathan defeats the serpent and stands proudly on its body after defeating it with his sword. Draw your interpretation of this event.

8. Deuteronomy 14:21 discusses the sale of meats to foreigners. The Church of the Holy Lamb condones this practice. What is your interpretation of this passage? Draw your interpretation of the sale of meets to a foreigner.

9. Draw a self-portrait of yourself. Include your hair, face, neck, shoulders and chest. DO NOT include your abdomen, genitals, legs or feet.
Please, remember!

- You do not have the talent to draw, because we are not looking for a professional designer!
- All that the Elders of the MUIE Church want to see is your own vision of belief in the Holy Lamb. These visions usually follow intense prayers and it is enough to try to draw what you see. Nothing more! It's about your soul and your Faith, not about your talent in painting!
- I hope you understand this and I hope you send me the 9 drawings as soon as possible because brother Eduard wants to start to work with you and he is stuck in your admission among MUIE members.
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

Samuel, to father Nectarie:

Quote:

Good Day Sir Father Nectarie,

Thank You very much for your message and i appreciate all that you have been doing to help me get this admission done. Let me start the drawing and i will get them ready tonight Thank you very much Sir, may the Holy lamb Bless you.

Your son
Sam Njoku

Link to (NSFW) drawing of his two examples of "unacceptable genital mutilation": http://i.imgur.com/xR2MdyZ.jpg

Father Nectarie don't answer yet to the Samuel's last message, but father Eduard is delighted:

Quote:

Dear my son, I receive your messages and everything seems to be fine for me. Congratulations!
Tomorrow I will convene the Holy Council of the Elders of MUIE Church and I will present these sketches.
As far as I am concerned, everything is perfect and denotes that you have the basic principles of Faith: Bible study and intense prayers.
I am very convinced that there will be no objections regarding the graduation from this stage of the admission process.
Father Nectarie will be able to help you with the other few steps of admission, but I am here for any kind of spiritual counsel and help.

Is a very good start for you and I am proud of the trust I have given you!
I would like to tell you that we also approved a rather substantial financial aid for you personally (outside the church money) that is meant to help you support your family.

I want to know if your wife is healthy now (after she left the hospital).
I want to know if you have children. How many?

Be blessed, in the name of our sacred Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:06 am

Because the admission procedure does not seem to end so fast Laughing

, Father Eduard still wants to start working with Sam.
- of course, all the money will only be paid after Sam becomes a member of the community.
- Still, it's a good opportunity for Sam to send out more trophies. Laughing

father Eduard, to Sam:

Quote:

Good evening, dear Samuel! Holy Lamb will bless you!

My son, forgive the delay with which we answer because we have a very important visit here in our holy monastery. With great joy and great pride we have received the messages from you, and I would like to start the concrete discussions regarding the construction of our new cathedral.

I know you have not yet completed all stages of admission among MUIE members, but I think we can start preliminary discussions about our new MUIE representative there.
I have already spoken with the great Cardinal Eufrosie, so that the council of Church Elders will vote as we want. All we have to do is to overcome the intermediate stage in which your MUIE admission formalities are met.

So let's get started practical discutions about our new MUIE cathedral building stages!
We start from the basic things. Look what we have to start:

1. Acceptance Letter from your local religious authority - that's mandatory!
2. Acceptance Letter from your local municipal authority (mayor, council, etc.) - that's mandatory!
- These steps are very simple, if we have the right man in the right place. It will be a "lawyer job".
- As Pontius Pilate said, "one hand washes the other one and both hands wash the face".
- We know how things work, everywhere in the world, so the lawyer (or person in charge of getting these authorizations) will have a budget of 20,000 dollars / for each local approvals needed paper.

3. Identification of land that is suitable for construction - that's mandatory!
- We need an open ground, freely building, somewhere at the intersection of roads. Area 1,000-1,500 square meters.
- The land must be identified and photographed in 4 directions (north, south, east, west), for our church architect to can visualize the future construction plan.
- Minimum rental period will be 25 years, with automatic extension.
- The rent should not exceed 15,000 dollars / month, paid in advance for a year.
- We need a preliminary agreement letter, to see and approve. Also, we need 1:2000 & 1:500 scale drawings.

4. Identifying future parishioners base (minimum 15 persons) - that's mandatory!
- We know that people are poor, so our role as a Mother Church is to help them and be their support.
- Each new parishioner will receives one single social assistance aid of 1,500 dollars from enrolling in the MUIE Church.
- Subsequently, if the parishioners has a difficult social condition (many children, is unemployed, etc), social support remains in force.
- Adhesions must be completed by hand, in large letters (uppercase), by every parishioner. We will accept English language (we will translate us here in Romania).
- Each parishioner must confess his adherence to the Faith in the Holy Lamb through a suggestive photo with a written "sacred words" message to the Church.
- Photos should be taken out into the sunlight, and "sacred words" writing letter should be printed on a very visible cardboard.
- The Church logo must also be visible. You also have "the model" (I need MUIE! MUIE for me! Glory to the Holy Lamb!) that can be printed, there, on a big cardboard.

5. Identifying local reverend - Here we have the problem solved, you are appointed to this position.
- Reverend likely to be one of the parishioners, most devoted and best. It's your choice and your responsibility.
- He will have a salary of 9,800 dollars / month, paid in advance for a year.
- He will sign a legal contract with the Church and will be "named" in a Holy special Ceremony.

6. Identification Project Manager - IPS Eufrosie instructed you to take care of this job. Congratulations!
- There are no doubts. IPS Eufrosie's proposal is for you to occupy this post remunerated with anothers 9,800 dollars / monthly.
- This was also my desire! I am very proud of you!

7. Identifying a law firm - who can represent the Church in all legally manner.
- We need a good lawyer compamny to represent us. It is clear and we have nothing to change this.
- Nearly 124,500 dollars fee is pre-approved and will be paid in full.
- I hope that covers at least part of the first phase of construction (land acts, all local approvals, etc).
- Later, after the Church is fully functional, we will negotiate a contract for annual legal representation.

So, depending on the results that you send me, I will propose one first payment of all such sums:

20,000 x 2 = 40,000 - for obtaining the two (2) statutory approvals: civil authority & religious authority
15,000 x 12 = 180,000 - for annual rental land (where the Church it will be built)
1,500 x 15 = 22,500 - first social aid for our new parishioners
9,800 x 12 = 117,600 - for Local Reverend annual salary
9,800 x 12 = 117,600 - for Project Manager annual salary
124,500 x 1 = 124,500 - for initial attorney fee (The Lawyers firm)
==================
TOTAL amount = $ 602,200

- At all this amount will add necessary costs of construction: construction materials, salaries for workers, various taxes, etc.
- Our MUIE Church in Tete (Mozambique) had a budget of $ 1.9 million, so we go and hope for the same amount budget.
- Overall, we can start talks on a pre-approved budget amounting to $ 2,500,000
- Our local lawyer must prepare a Legal Agreement and an itemized bill (Invoice) by ALL this services categories.

All payments are proposed by me, subject to the approval of the monthly Holy Council of the Church Elders and approved by the great cardinal Eufrosie.
Please finish admissions among church members so we can start building our new cathedral.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

The lad, to father Eduard:

Quote:

Good day Father sir, Eduard Vasilescu.

Do i need to send the members details also with their photo as i does to my own? that is to confirm their registration by the mother church? before i go after the law firm that i can higher to represent the church?

- I'm thinking of making him do ArschBishop of Africa... and maybe a tattoo will be necessary? Laughing

father Eduard:

Quote:

Good morning my dear Sam and the Holy Lamb with you!
Today is a great celebration, the Feast of Our Lady, the Virgin Mary, and I want to congratulate you on this beautiful occasion.
A church lives through its parishioners and religious life requires the presence of a community of people who think the same way and feel the same Faith.

Indeed, you must gather around yourself a first core of people who are willing to believe in You as their pastor. The MUIE Cathedral will be built where people want it, so we can help the local community with money, food, clothes, building materials and more. We are listening to people's wishes, not the other way around!

So YES, with your admission among MUIE members, we can say that you have reborn and will be baptized with a new rank: ArschBishop of Africa.
It is a high position that brings benefits and imposes responsibilities. I hope you will be worthy and proud of this appointment.
I believe in you and feel that you will be the providential man who builds the great MUIE African cathedral!

All these discussions can start from now on, and it's great to start looking for those people who are willing to follow you in the Faith.
It is valid with the rest of the documents, so we can be prepared for the moment we can start to make the first payment.
Please do not forget that you must complete the admission procedures in the MUIE church so that you can be officially called ArschBishop of Africa.
Until your final baptism, I am your celestial father and you are my pupil.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

The lad:

Quote:

Good day sir Father Eduard Vasilescu, May The Holy Lamb Bless you sir, It is to my great honor to receive the top rank as you are planing it for me and write now i will start going out for an evangelism now to bring those people who i have already told about the MUIE church that is about to take place here and i will be forwarding their admissions to you for perusal and also their final admission. thank you very much Sir for standing with me i will always remain loyal, grateful to the Holy Lamb. may his name be praise for ever and ever.

Today I went out to reach out to the people of whom I have become a mouth piece of survival, and the result today was awesome, and they extend their greetings to you, write now I have gathered them and as I was coming back I work straight to the law firm office located at Tanzu, I met with the barrister in charge and told him that we will need his help to secure some document from the local municipal authorities both from the ministry of land and housing development and also to represent the church in getting any document that we need to establish in this country and beyond, and the discussion was very successful he ask me that he is ready to work with the church and for any further consultations he is ready for a better service.

So write now I will go back there tomorrow to tell him that wee need the followings 1. The MUIE Church needs an Acceptance Letter from the local religious authority.
2. Acceptance Letter from the local municipal authority (Local Government council).
3. Acceptance latter from the mayor
4. Acceptance latter from the ministry of Land and urban development that is were we will build the cathedral
5. Acceptance latter from the village head

So with this am sure we will not have any problem with any one both now and the future, but before I will go and talk with the lawyer for the second time, I will go and visit the site that I have been thing that will be very good for the construction of the cathedral and also take some photos of the land as was directed and send it to you sir. But before then I have share the MUIE word of faith and the admission forms to the so I will go and collect it and help them complete their admission so that we can get started as was planed. Thank you very much sir I will be forever grateful with you sir as this dream of mine coming to reality sir you will live long and remain ever bless your pupils are ever grateful with you sir.

Your Pupil
Sam Njoku
Port Novo

father Eduard:

Quote:

Good morning, my dear pupil Samuel,

Thank you for your answer!
Georget told me the same thing, that there are a lot of impostors who want to steal the money of the church.
Although money is not a problem for the MUIE church, praised either for the name of the Lamb, we do not want to be the victims of the scammers again.

I know that you have received from Brother Nectarie the requirements for the next admission stage among our members, so please do everything as good and fast as possible.
What is your situation with your parishioners and the papers for the future cathedral?
Did you identify the ground for our future construction? I want to be kept up to date with all the news.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

- Because Sam said he spoke to a lawyer, I'm thinking of another good trophy. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sam,

Of course you know our past problems when the Holy Church has been scammed with pictures taken from the internet.
Do you trust this lawyer? You know this lawyer very well?

I would love to see a photo of him and I would like this photo to respect our religious traditions. I'm sure you know the parable of Jesus and the seafaring fishermen.
Well, I would like to see a photo of our lawyer specially made for our Holy Church:
- our lawyer must to be dressed in his special ceremony robe, with that magnificent white wig,
- he must hold a large fish in one of his hand ... in the other hand, he must keep a bread.

The Elders of MUIE Church will be impressed by this special photo, I can assure you of this. Collaboration with this lawyer will be approved without objections.

Regarding the land on which we want to build our future cathedral, please do not forget about the photos that will allow the architect to sketch the construction. We will also need those cadastral sketches that we have already spoken in previous messages.

Be blessed my pupil!
May the Holy Lamb be with you!
father Eduard

Sam, to father Eduard:

Quote:

Dear father Eduard, All you have said is well noted and i will make sure that i convince the lawyer to do as the church demanded and it is very nice idea i love that idea, but though it may seems to be little difficult but all the same he must obey the rules of the church as long as he want to serve us he must do what we want. thank you very much i will go back to him to explain everything to him.

Your Son
Sam Njoku

father Eduard:

Quote:

Good morning, my dear son Samuel!

Yes, as you already know, all church collaborators must comply with our rules, as we respect them.
MUIE Church works only with people who feel the same and share the same vision of our holy faith.

Our lawyer must obey our rules because Faith is not something that is being negotiated.
Be blessed, my pupil!
father Eduard

Sam tells father Eduard about his wife and baby still unborn:

Quote:

Dear sir Father Eduard Vasilescu,

i' am very happy this evening to receive your message, and i want to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart and also acknowledge all that you have been doing in my life, I and my wife were expecting our first born which is still in the womb right now my wife was four month pregnant and we have been going for an Antinental almost every month and am so happy for the spiritual growth which i' am encounter through the divine mercy of the Holy lamb, thank you very much sir for your spiritual support in my life and that of my family in large, we will forever remain grateful for your kindness sir. my the holy lamb Bless you for me Sir.

Your pupil
Sam Njoku

I take advantage of the occasion and still ask for another trophy.

Quote:

Dear Sam,

I'm glad to hear that prayers helped so much and I would love to meet your wife.
After we finish building the cathedral, we will come to you for the inauguration service of the holy place and then we will know each other much better.

Until then, I ask you to send me a picture of you and your wife, holding a white lamb symbolizing your devotion and Faith.
I'll put this photo on my desk and I'll pray for your unborn baby every night.
I believe he will be the first newborn in our MUIE community in Benin and this must be marked accordingly. Certainly the Elders of the Church will accept my proposal.

May light and joy accompany his coming into the world!
May his father, ArschBishop of Africa, guide his first steps!
May his mother, your wife, teach him the first words and the first prayers!

In sacred name of our Holy Lamb, be blessed!
your celestial father,
Eduard

--------------------------------------

On the other hand, Georget (Eduard's assistant) is in permanent contact with Sam:

Quote:

Hello Sam, I already see your massages to my boss. Very good job, I'm impressed. Did you find some people to pretend to create the first nucleus of the cathedral? Remember, you will need at least 15 people to be able to declare one "stable" and "functional" MUIE community. So you'll have to send to the olders church idiots: 15 other adhesions and 15 photos with "I want MUIE " and "MUIE for me" and the rest of the swamp! When do you finish with old moron Nectarie? G.

The lad:

Quote:

Alright tomorrow i will arrange the photos and send it to the secretary and father Eduard at the same time. as i have take photo of empty plot of land along express road i think it will be acceptable by the Church council of elders.

Georget:

Quote:

Today I was talking to Eduard and he said he was very happy. He praised you in front of me and it seems he's very determined to build his bullshit cathedral. He was saying something about the last dream on this earth and other such old-fashioned memories. Tell me when you will finish all fucking things with Nectarie, so we can begin "building the church" and "paying the money"? The old idiot Eduard wants to give you some financial help as soon as you become a full member of their community, but let me remind you that serious money is what we will do together. Ok? Stay close to the old fucking morons and win their trust. We will need this, later.

The lad:

Quote:

Alright, we are together always

--------------------------------------

This is all, for now! I'm waiting for:

- the official letters of the authorities, which allow the opening of the MUIE branch in Benin,
- the handwritten adhesions + pictures of the 15 new parishioners,
- one picture with the lawyer, dressed properly + fish + bread,
- one picture of Sam and his wife + white lamb.

For the third Stage of Samuel's Admisson in MUIE community, I'm thinking to recreate a biblical scene: Moses & his people in front of the Red Sea... hmm, we will see! Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 335

hahaha what a nice and promising bait! Love the drawings! Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:12 pm

I'm really digging those sketches. The turtledove, the alluring ladies of the night, the man running from the crowd with his tockley out (?), those kneeling worshippers... they're all great. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:12 pm

I'm going to go back and read all of this in every glorious detail later, but those sketches! OMG. Those are fantastic. Love the hookers! Laughing

This is a fantastic modality.

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Jan 2015 Posts: 331

AMAZING!! I love the sketches, too - they are so detailed. And all the little gems in your emails, like

Quote:

As Pontius Pilate said, "one hand washes the other one and both hands wash the face".

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:37 pm

i hope we will conquer by wining on the battle of brain

Laughing

Wonderful baiting, Birlic!

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 6:10 am

Saturday morning

- Sam sent 2 messages to Eduard, but the old man is sick and lying in his bed... a very sad situation. Very Happy

- Photo of the lawyer and the fish and the bread will be sent, no doubt.
- Sam has an administrative problem: He pretend to not find a white lamb for the required photo with his wife.
- Sam is also worried that he does not know what other steps are still in his admission process... Secretary Nectarie has not yet answered to his last messages with the "sacred" drawings.

Quote:

Dear father Eduard, Good day, I have done as was instructed i met with the Barrister, and he proven to accept the offer i made and the church demands also will be done as they wanted it and he assures me that i should come back on Wednesday next week for the photo and also he assured me that every of my demands will be mate.

Your Pupil
Sam Njoku

and

Quote:

Dear Sir, I have a little challenge here and the challenge was that we don't have a white lamb and it can only be found withing the neighboring town and before i could get it will be little difficult because i have to search for it in their local market for me to buy it, and use it to take photo with my wife, So please sir, if there is another way that you can pray on behalf of me and my wife i suggest that you do it in that way because right now the situation at hand now warrant that i should at least save a little out of my earnings to help my self and also to take care of my pregnant wife and also to enable me transport myself to see the families that am always taken care of, so please sir, don't see it as i don't want to take the photo with the lamb i will if it is at my disposal, and tomorrow i will also continue from were i stopped and also my wife has to go for an antinental in the clinic because that is what the doctor says about her pregnancy that she need to be examine closely to help her out of any distress and after we have been back the the rest of the members registration will be completed right now there form is what i have already collected but their photos and their adhesion is still coming because it has to do with somebody that can read and write sir. So please sir i will be glad to receive a message from the secretary Father Nectarie to know what next i should do.

Your Pupil
Sam Njoku

So, Georget (Eduard's assistant) answered:

Quote:

Sam, my boss Eduard has health problems and is in his bed. I'm at his house and I take care of him. Now the doctor left, so I controlled his computer. You're crazy? How can you refuse a thing that he asked you to do? This is unforgivable in their culture as a kind of offense to their authority and their age. Remember that I warned you that you must show great respect for them and that you have to be very careful about their wishes. Anyway, I deleted this message where you refuse to look for a white lamb for the photo with your wife. Find a white baby goat if you do not find a white lamb but send her the required picture. I also saw the message with the fucking fake lawyer and the picture of the fish and the bread. I'm glad you had the wisdom to not refuse.
The doctor said that Eduard must stay in his bed one day, maybe two days. You have enough time to take that fucking picture with the white baby goat and your wife. I saw that you asked about Nectarie and I'm very curious what is the situation with your admission to the church and what does that old idiot say? Georget

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Great drawings! Laughing

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 6:27 pm

That, Birlic, is outstanding. You got him off script with the very first email. That is a seriously amazing modality, and super well implemented by you.

Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2017 11:36 am

Sunday, at noon time:

- Sam responded to the last message received from Georgette.
- He accepts that he has mistakenly refused the idea of a lamb and thanks for warning. Laughing

Quote:

Yes that is why am proud of you please keep on correcting me ok i will do that as you have said. i will get all done ok.

So it looks like we'll get the picture with the wife and the lamb. Laughing

- Father Eduard is ill and does not read his personal messages, but we finally have an answer from Secretary Nectarie.
- Sam found out what is the third (but not the last Laughing

) stage of his admission among MUIE members.

Quote:

Brother Njoku, Holy Lamb be with you!

My congratulations, you have already completed the first half ("The Presentation of your Faith" and "The Visualisation of your Faith") of the admission process among MUIE members. Brother Eduard was right about you, you are a serious and trustworthy man and surely you deserve all the things that will happen to you. The MUIE Elders's Council was delighted to see the drafts you sent and voted unanimously to continue the process. You are on the right way and there is not much until your appointment as MUIE's High Prelate.

The third stage appeals to your imagination, and I think it will be very easy for you (because I have read in your personal presentation that you have a real talent for film and cinematography).

The requirement of this stage is that you recreate the moment when Moses stops (with all of his people) on the Red Sea beach and He makes the waves to split:

- you will play the role of Moses... you have to be dressed properly, so that anyone can recognize you in that role.
- your parishioners must play the role of your tribe... women, men, children.
- you have to sit on the beach in front of the sea, with your magical staff raised in the air and with your eyes facing the sky.
- your tribe is situated behind you, with their hands together as prayer.

I think only a few pictures (4-5 photos) made from several angles are sufficient.

We want to see a large photo group with you and all parishioners!
We want to see your face's expression when you ask for the help of the Holy Lamb!
We want to see all the expressions on your people's figures: from humility -> to hope, faith and joy!
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

Maybe we will receive another nice trophies. Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 8:47 am

This is just awesome. Church modality baits are my favorite. Great job! bow_down

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 9:20 am

This is not just amazing; it's amazingly amazing!

And did anyone else looking at drawing no. 5 wonder why the people in the crowd were dressed as Incas?

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ Or why he labelled the pic 'heifer' when it is most obviously a bullock? Lol

Fantastic baiting again, Birlic! You are a true master! (But, Pilate never really said that, you know. Lololol)

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 7:51 am

"... But, Pilate never really said that, you know. Lololol..."
Of course I know that!
Besides, martyr Eustratia does not really exist. Nor did he write a letter to the Tatar (mongolian) Khan. Laughing

Yesterday:
- Georget sent a message to Sam asking for details:

Quote:

Hello Sam! Eduard responds well to medical treatment so I think tomorrow he will be able to read his messages. Did you do anything with that idiot Nectarie? Are you finished with admission to the church? Did you manage to produce all the papers required by Eduard to start the church building? Please keep me informed of all this.

Today:
- That lazy Sam claimed to have received no recent message from the secretary Nectarie (it's about the third Stage - the scene with Moses):

Quote:

Not yet i did not heard from him, but father Eduard send a message to me today also been Monday. He was asking if i have collected the papers from the lawyer but is what am working on so i will give him feed back as soon as possible. i got the papers done.

- Georget's answer:

Quote:

Sam, you have to be very careful with this old idiot Nectarie. He's a very proud man and if he's upset with you, we'll have big problems with him. I went out to smoke after the morning religious service and Nectarie's assistant (Sister Filomena) told me that the old man is waiting for you to confirm that you are ready to complete the third stage of the church admission process. From what I know, it's about 4 steps for regular members. Please check your email carefully and answer Nectarie, even if you have not yet met the requirements. Just for him to see that you are concerned about this and that you are interested in the problem. We need to finish as fast as possible with all this bullshit, so we can start asking money for "new" construction. Ok?

- Old Eduard is well healthy, so he also wrote to Sam:

Quote:

Good morning my son, good morning!

I'm very glad to hear you and I look forward to the time when we can work together to build our beautiful cathedral.
I had a few bad days, I was sick, and I lay in my bed. Thank God, I've gone through all the illness and now I'm healthy!

Brother Nectarie told me this morning that the MUIE Elderly Council approved your passage to the upper stage of admission. I am proud of you, my pupil!
Please tell me what is the status of the new MUIE community in PortoNovo? How many people did you bring until now to serve the Holy Lamb?
Have you started the process of obtaining official authorizations? Does the attorney work on necesarry papers?

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

Later edit:

Sam, to Georget:

Quote:

Alright, i will send an email to him now to know what is the next stage to go thorough and also am happy the way you are managing that end that shows we still on the right track.

Georget:

Quote:

Sam, you say you have not received any recent messages from old idiotic secretary? It is strange, because sister Filomena told me that the old man is waiting for you to answer the third admission stage. In any case, ask him what the next step is and ask him to send the initial message again. To make sure there is no delay in your admission process. Be polite and respectful with him! ok?

Later later edit

Sam, to secretary Nectarie:

Quote:

Good Day Sir Father Nectarie,

How are you doing today Sir, I want to know if you have receive my mails concerning the registration process and please i want to know the next step that i should follow in becoming a full member of the MUIE family.

Your Son
Sam Njoku

- The secretary of the Church just made a "forward" on the message already sent... with Eduard in CC.
- Eduard wrote to Sam:

Quote:

My son,

I just receive NOW this message from our Church Secretary Nectarie. What's this?
I see it was already sent on Sunday. Is there a major problem of communication with you?
Please take care of all admission formalities in our proud MUIE family, because I want to start the practical discussions on the MUIE Porto Novo Cathedral.

This is the third admission stage and I am convinced that you will appreciate the choice made by the Elders of the Church. The scene with Moses is very important and I am happy that the MUIE wisemen chose for you the theme of the Exodus chapter. I know that you are as happy as I am and I also know that we will work with great urgency to spread the belief in our Holy Lamb. The fourth and final stage will be the most pleasant and important, but let's do not anticipate all good things. It is as Saint Pancratius said: "A small step for man but a great step for humanity!"

Be blessed, in sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

--------------------------------
Tuesday 17.45:

I can not believe it!
Muhahahaha! Laughing

Sam, to Georget:

Quote:

Hello, Please i want you to help me what do i need to do here do i go to the beach with my parishioners and take the photo or should i draw it? is it what they mean here? and also if i were to go to the beach with them do i need to dress in the way Moses dress or i should wear suit and dress normally and take the photo?

The secretary message bellow i just get it now please advise me on what to do now ok so that i can start as fast as i can.

Brother Njoku, Holy Lamb be with you!

My congratulations, you have already completed the first half ("The Presentation of your Faith" and "The Visualisation of your Faith") of the admission process among MUIE members. Brother Eduard was right about you, you are a serious and trustworthy man and surely you deserve all the things that will happen to you. The MUIE Elders's Council was delighted to see the drafts you sent and voted unanimously to continue the process. You are on the right way and there is not much until your appointment as MUIE's High Prelate.

The third stage appeals to your imagination, and I think it will be very easy for you (because I have read in your personal presentation that you have a real talent for film and cinematography).

The requirement of this stage is that you recreate the moment when Moses stops (with all of his people) on the Red Sea beach and He makes the waves to split:

- you will play the role of Moses... you have to be dressed properly, so that anyone can recognize you in that role.
- your parishioners must play the role of your tribe... women, men, children.
- you have to sit on the beach in front of the sea, with your magical staff raised in the air and with your eyes facing the sky.
- your tribe is situated behind you, with their hands together as prayer.

I think only a few pictures (4-5 photos) made from several angles are sufficient.

We want to see a large photo group with you and all parishioners!
We want to see your face's expression when you ask for the help of the Holy Lamb!
We want to see all the expressions on your people's figures: from humility -> to hope, faith and joy!
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

Georget explains to Sam everything he needs to do:

Quote:

What the fuck is that bullshit with Moses and his tribe? Now I read the messages from Eduard's computer and I can not believe it. I told you that those old idiots are thinking only of their faith, but I did not think of anything like that. As it message says there, you must:
- gather all the parishioners and take you somewhere on a beach,
- all dressed like in the biblical scene,
- you have to play Moses "role" with a stick in your hand (I do not know what kind of stick, you have to read the Bible and see who's Moses and what he did),
- you have to take some pictures for to see:
A) Some photos with all that group of people situated on the beach.
B) Some photos with your face and your eyes to the sky and with the stick raised up.
C) Some photos with the figures of your people who beg for mercy and ask for hope.
If I were you, I would send also a short movie (a few minutes). Ask someone to shoot with the phone while they are spinning around the entire group. This is how you assure you that it's still on the film, and I think these old idiots will be excited. Do not forget the pictures you promised to Eduard:
- with the lawyer dressed in a robe and a wig, with fish and bread,
- with your wife and the white lamb.
From what Eduard says in his last message to you, it seems that you have passed first two stages and there are only two more stages. Correct? So theoretically, we're halfway down the road. If we move fast, maybe we can start "building" in September. I want to finish as fast as possible and take my money, because I can not stand the crap of Eduard and the other old idiots.

Maybe we will have the opportunity to see a short video with african Moses and his tribe from Benin. Dancing Banana

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 5:55 am

Wednesday, in the morning

The lad reply to secretary Nectarie's last message:

Quote:

Thank you very much sir i have seen the message now and i will respond accordingly

your Son
Sam Njoku

Secretary Nectarie's answer:

Quote:

Brother in Faith, good morning!

On this Friday, the next Council meeting of the Elders of the Church takes place and we intend to organize a charity auction to raise funds specially dedicated to your people. Have you succeeded in gathering near you people who want to spread the seeds of our Faith? Are they ready to adhere to our values and are they ready to follow the right path of the Holy Lamb?

I will keep you informed about the progress of this activity as well as the financial results obtained. Father Eduard is anxious about starting his soul project, the MUIE Cathedral in Benin, and all the Church's attention is directed at the progress you are making now. I hope you will not disappoint our community, because I have never seen Eduard so enthusiastic.
---

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:18 am

Sam, to Georget:

Quote:

Who is this???????????????????????????????????????????????????

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=288029&start=0&sid=1aa89c278da4bc8e7c6203d2a3026b03

Georget:

Quote:

Ohh fucking shit I don't believe it. I don't know what to say I think there is a hackers site and I think all of us we have big problem with our computers. Jesus, we must immediately change again all passwords and use some security settings.

and

Quote:

How did you find this thing? I think it's the same man who already stole money from the church last year (I told you about Umukelani, who fooled the church with nearly 500,000). I think he put a virus on our computers and watches everything we write. Do you realize that this fucking crook knows all our plans? I'm afraid, I do not know what to do.

- There was also a brief exchange of replies, where Sam gave to Georget quotes from this topic. Not important for the story.
- His final message was "Fuck you!"

Sorry, I think this topic may be closed.
Perhaps next time it would be better to change ALL the characters' names!

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:36 am

BUGGER!!!!!

Well, no matter, it was fun while it lasted, and you'll always have the pictures.

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:44 pm

Incredible!! I do not know what horrible deformity that 'serpent' is supposed to be though. That looks like it just crawled fresh out of my nightmares. It's a shame that the lad got smart and found the thread (!?!). I was hoping for a TWAT style pyramid. I guess I can still hope though as the reply might work.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Sorry to see this one end. Very nice while it lasted though. Congrats!

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Oh, what bad luck, Birlic. A real shame. Sad

Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:16 am

^ As the Saint Theodosius says: "Blessed are those who always look forward, for theirs will be the Kingdom of the Holy Lamb!" Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ LOLOLOL

ETA

I was hoping you would present a crew of very rich Transylvanian vampires for us next, desperate for some fresh African blood. They could commission the building of an unholy church, too. Laughing

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