Archie Fails to Join the Church of the Old Gods

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Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 1:07 am

Roger tells Archie that Pastor Moses is very busy, and that's why he didn't respond:

Quote:

The last time I spoke with Pastor Moses was on Monday when I was telling him what a success the bake sale was. I am a little surprised that he didn't responded to you for a week, but he is such a busy man, you know. He met with the governor of our state on Wednesday to speak with him about our Church's missionary work. Isn't that so exiting?! I think he was also traveling around the country this week to breach the Holy Word of the Old Gods, so may be that is why he didn't got back to you quickly.

I am sure he will reply to you as soon as he can, and if I see him I will let him know. Your membership is very impotent to him. I advice you to be patience.

Archie asks Roger for his phone number:

Quote:

Pastor Moses has replied my mail, he said he has been busy with the church work.

He told me about the a new convort from Bangladesh.

I told him about the total amount that you said was raised at the fund raiser.

Mr Roger, this my current stage in the membership process is really hard for me.

How can you help me as my Sponsor?

Please send me your phone number, I would like to speak to you on phone.

Roger ignores this, and tells Archie what the total haul was for the bake sale:

Quote:

I spoke to Brother Eric after Services today, and he said he finished calculating the precise total of the money we raised. He explicated to me that it took so long to total up the money cause he needed to consider several differential types of taxes, like sales taxes for the state and county, and also the gross deductible and grand mal tariffs associated with having a charity fund raiser. It was all very confusing and I wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about, but Brother Eric is like a wizard sleeve with these numbers, where upon I never was very good at math. I suppose that is why he is the Church accountant, and not me. Anyways, to make a long story short, we ended up with $172,287.35 dollars! Isn't that wonderful?

Now, Brother Eric needs to finger out the best way to get the money to you without having more tax problems. I know he said their are more tax imprecations cause we're sending money outside of the country, and also cause your not a member of the Church yet. Their may be a few forms we need to fill for the IRS, but I'm sure it won't be a problem. I will speak to him again and let you know.

I'm dangling some cash in front of him again. I'm sure he'll be willing to fill out some forms if he thinks that's the only thing between him and a nice payday.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He really wants to talk to someone...

Quote:

Good day Pastor, I am very happy and please to hear from you again.

It's a great news to have Ramit helping with the opening of church in Bangladesh.

I believe this is a sign that the gospel of the old Gods will spread around the world soon.

Mr Roger told me that the church accountant said that the amount raised is about $170,000.

It's indeed great amount to care for the people of my community.

Honestly Pastor, I have not gotten enough funds to start up the foundation yet, but I am saving some money. I will start the foundation as soon as am done saving the money to buy all the materials that I will need.

I don't want the construction be slow, once I got the all the money that will be able to build the monument. I will raise it at once.

Please, help me plead to the elders to please be patient with me. I promise to complete my membership and I will.

Have a good day.

Quote:

Hi Pastor, I will like you to send me your mobile phone number and your office phone number.

Young Susan email address and phone number too.

Few days ago I asked Mr Roger to give your number to me but he refuse, saying he will have to tell you before given me.

Thanks

Quote:

Good day Pastor, please I will like to speak to you, the elders and Mr Roger after today's service. Please call me <snip Nigerian number>.

Thanks

I'm going to ignore him for another day or two. I'm very busy with mentoring Ramit through the church building process, as well as my meetings with the Governor. His phone call is going to have to wait.

Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 9:53 pm

Archie hasn't gotten back to Hendley with his plans. Hendley prods him:

Quote:

Hi Paul - I have not had any indication from you on when you will be here in Lome to complete the job. Preparation is key to making sure it goes smoothly. And I do not like surprises.

Meanwhile, Archie asks Roger for Brother Eric's contact information, presumably because he wants to discuss how the bake sale money should be sent:

Quote:

Dear Roger, thanks for your update in regards to the charity fund raising, I sincerely appreciate your help.

I will be glad if the fund can be sent to me as soon as possible in other to use it for the purpose it was raised.

I can set up a bank account in the name of the church here in my country, where the money can be sent into without questions and taxes.

Meanwhile, i would like you to send me brother Eric's email address so I can send message him. So we can get in touch on how the money can be sent.

Archie's tax evasion scheme sounds highly illegal. Roger will be concerned about that tomorrow. I haven't decided yet whether I want to play Brother Eric myself, ask someone else to do it, or just leave him as an invisible character.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:37 am

Roger is worried about the legality of Archie's scheme:

Quote:

I don't understand, how can you set up a bank account in the name of the Church when your not a member yet? Did you asked Pastor Moses or the Elders about that? I think you should ask them before you go and do it, cause other wise they mite be upset with you.

And what do you mean their won't be any taxes? Is that legal and proper? I thought their were always taxes? Don't you know the old saying, two things that are certain are debt and taxes? I am worried at what your saying and wandering if may be I need to ask my tax bartender about this. I just don't want to have any more problems with the IRS. They already gave me so much trouble when I inherited this money from Uncle Jed.

I think it is a good idea that you get in torch with Brother Eric directly. I don't know his email address out of the top of my mind, but when I see him, I will ask him to email you. I am sure you will be able to work with him to take care of the tax imprecations of the funds we raised.

I will introduce Eric in a few days. For now, Archie wants to see pictures of the fundraiser:

Quote:

Dear Roger, I will be expecting brother Eric mail. The financial policy here is different from your country, of course I will pay tax but it has to be after the church began operation. (I have no idea what he is talking about here)

I have not heard from Pastor Moses in some days now, I hope he respond to my mail soon.
I requested him to call me on my mobile phone, and also to send the pictures of the fund raising to me if picture were taken.

Do you have any picture of the fund raising?

I'm trying to decide whether to give him stock photos, or have it so that nobody took pictures out of the usual Church of the Old Gods incompetence.

Meanwhile, Hendley has still not heard back from Archie, and he is getting impatient:

Quote:

Hi Paul - you still have not gotten back to me regarding the job in Lome. I do not appreciate being ignored, son. If you need to tell me that you have been delayed, or that you are working on it, I understand that. But no response at all is unacceptable. Please update me on your progress.

He may still travel yet, but the fact that he's avoiding Hendley doesn't give me much confidence in that right now. Hilts will slap him around some more if necessary, but I think he's still tentative about all this and wants a phone call to convince him.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:49 pm

Doesn't the Church of the Old Gods prohibit unofficial picture-taking at Chuirch events (for security purposes, of course)? And poor young Susan forgot to buy film for the official Church camera.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

^^Yes indeed, no heathen eyes are allowed!

Moses finally gets back to him, vaguely eluding to a potential phone call at some point.

Quote:

My apologies again for my late reply. Ramit is in a very important part of the construction process and has been requiring my utmost attention.

What time is it there? I know that during the day, it is night time for Ramit. Is that the same where you are in Africa. I would not want to call you too late? That is why Ramit and I mostly speak by email is so we don't wake each other during nap time.

Pastor Moses

He does seem to be very hesitant right now, asking for pictures, phone calls, etc. I think I will call him soon to put his mind at ease.

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:12 am

Archie demands advance payment from Hendley again:

Quote:

Mr Robert, I don't play pranks around. I am serious business man, if you need my service you will have to pay for it. I don't do business with ghost. You refuse to show me your identity nor release a phone number. I believe you know that I am not a kid?

Send me $500 traveling allowance, let's get started.

Hendley reminds him who is in charge:

Quote:

Hi Paul - again with the request for an advance! You just can't help being a scammer, can you?

I think you have forgotten our talk about leverage. There are thousands of other guymen out there who would jump at the chance for this job, without trying to extort me for traveling money first. But there is only one of me, so I am in control. Apparently you have forgotten that. I think perhaps I will work with another guyman instead. I am sure anybody else I choose will be more sensible.

So thank you, your services are no longer required. I will inform Hilts that our deal has fallen apart, and also warn him that you are not to be trusted. Regardless of whatever business you have together, it would be remiss of me to not inform him of your behavior.

Archie tries to threaten Hendley:

Quote:

Don't dare me, cos you don't know what I am capable of. I am no longer interested in your business, so don't disturb my relationship with hints.

You may lose your life.

If you are so convinced about the business proposal that you brought, why don't you let's us have a interface video call.
You think that I am a child in this game?

Step up, if your business is genuine let's have a real talk.

Hendley is not impressed:

Quote:

Hi Paul - oh, so now it's threats? How pathetic. You are utterly insignificant to me. It is not even worth my time to have you killed.

I already explained why I cannot make phone calls to discuss a criminal conspiracy. Clearly you do not have the mental capacity to understand this.

But perhaps I should not be surprised at your foolishness. After all, you are passing up $20,000.00 at minimum in guaranteed money because I will not send you an advance of $500.00. Clearly reason is not entering into the equation here.

Then Archie tried to start a chat with Hendley, but I ignored it.

Hendley tells Hilts what happened, and Hilts unloads on Archie for being an idiot:

Quote:

You stupid fucker! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Hendley just told me he gave you the second chance after the bullshit you pulled last time, and now you went and fucked that up too! How stupid can you be?

Goddam it, I'm so fucking angry with you right now! This shit is gonna fall on me now, cause I vouchsafed for you with Hendley, and he's blaming me for your fuckery. Now my rep is gonna take a hit with anybody who fucking matters!

Oh fuck, it might even cost me a $2 million USD job I was gonna pull with a guy in Panama running a shell company operation, cause he's connected to Hendley! Jesus, why did you have to fuck everything up like this?

Archie complains that Hendley was treating him poorly:

Quote:

Dude, Hendley is not a professional.
He behaves like a little puppy.

I sent my men to find out his identity but they found nothing truth about him.

Tell him if he wants to do business with me he should be able to make himself know to me.

I don't do shit mascot business anymore

Hilts calls bullshit:

Quote:

Dude, what the fuck are you talking about saying Hendley is not a professional? From what he tells me, your the one being a dipshit and trying to scam him! And even worse, you threatened to kill him! So whose being unprofessional their? He offered you this lucrative job cause I told him your good for it, and in stead of working the job properly and getting paid like a professional, you started running your mouth and complaining that you don't like the way he runs his business!

And bullshit you sent men to investigate him. You didn't do shit. If you got the money to pay people to do that, why the fuck are you begging everybody for cash to help you build that goddam pyramid? Wouldn't you just fucking do it, in stead of complaining all the goddam time about how your broke?

So don't lie to me, shithead, your not smart enough. I got half a mind to cut your ass lose rite now cause of all the bullshit you pulled. You better shape the fuck up and get this church job done. I'm loosing my patience.

Archie is such an idiot. I know there is no way he actually has people working for him. He is just trying to make Hilts and Hendley think he is a bigshot, but it's blowing up in his face. But that's lads for you: they lie, even when it is in their interest to tell the truth.

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 12:55 pm

Big X wrote:

they lie, even when it is in their interest to tell the truth.

Isn't it odd how they will stick with it, no matter how much it might harm them?

Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:05 pm

Roger says he is not sure whether there are any pictures of the fund raiser:

Quote:

As I said, when I see Brother Eric I will ask him to email you so you can work with him directly on the tax issues.

Regarding pictures of the fund raiser, that is a good question. I honestly am not sure if someone got some good pictures, cause I was very busy running the event and I didn't took any pictures my self. I believe young Susan has a camera, it's a top of the line Polaroid. I can ask her if she took any pictures of the fund raiser.

I think I am going to have it so that there are pictures, but Roger has no idea how to attach them to an email.

Brother Eric contacts Archie after Services:

Quote:

Hello, I hope I am reaching Brother Archie? Brother Roger gave me your email address at services today and he asked me to contact you about the money we raised from the bake sale. Brother Roger says very good things about you, and I must say I am very happy that you are joining the Church. I won't say any more just now, in case I have got the email address wrong and you are not the right person. Please respond as soon as possible.

May the Old Gods Bless You

Let's see what Archie makes of the new character.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Good day Pastor, please I request that you drop your number I will call you by myself.

I really want to speak with you over the phone, I have been having a strange feeling about this whole process.

My country is 6hours ahead of you, so we can call each other without disturbing each others sleep.

5pm here will be 11am in your country.

Also, I request to see pictures from the fund raising and speak with the church secretary (Susan) and accountant (Eric).

I have been on this membership process since over 7months, I have sent you pictures and videos of myself. I have never see nor heard your voice.

I think it is time for you to reveal your self to me. I know I am not communicating with a ghost

Moses takes this as a sign that Archie has possibly been affected by the devil:

Quote:

What is your strange feeling my son?

This concerns me. Do you feel ill? You say that you are communicating with ghosts! This could be the work of the devil trying to prevent you from becoming a member by using wicked tricks to distract you!

Yes yes that would explain why you have been so slow at completing your Stage 3! We were all very confused, because we thought that it was so odd that you had not showed even the smallest effort toward completing this stage, even though you had already completed Stage 1 and Stage 2. It is almost as if the devil has removed all of your motivation and replaced your energy with that of someone very lazy who cannot complete tasks!

I am going to take this information to the Elders right away! We need to pray for you right now and do some special rituals to cleanse your soul of the devil!

I will be in torch.

Pastor Moses

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:47 am

Roger asks Archie if Brother Eric contacted him, and Archie confirms that he did:

Quote:

Dear Roger, yes I got Brother Eric mail, he introduced himself. But he didn't say much.

Bro, I am trying to save some money to be able to continue with the construction.

Also, I really want to speak to you over the phone. I have sent my pictures and videos to you and Pastor Moses. But I haven't seen your faces or hear your voice.

You will agree with me that it be brave if I see your pictures and videos too. Or we talk on phone.

Communicating through mail is not enough for me. Anyone, anywhere can do that.

I will to call you on video call on hangout.

This is my phone number +234<snip> call me.

Send me your mobile number too and I will call you.

He sounds very suspicious. We will have to play this carefully.

Roger has trouble calling his number:

Quote:

I tried calling you on the number you gave me, but now I am wondering if you are playing some tricks on me. When I called, some body in Ohio picked my call and said I had the wrong number when I asked for you. I was very confused, cause I didn't thought you lived in Ohio. You don't, rite? So why did you gave me a wrong number?

Also, I don't understand why you need to speak to me on the phone all of the suddenly now, cause I gave you my number a while ago and you didn't called me than, cause you were complaining about not being able to use a phone or something. Anyways, in case you forgot, my number is <whistling pickle>. I don't understand though, what is a video call on hangout? You know I am not very good with these new technicalities, is that something you young folks are doing these days? Is that going to coast me extra on my phone bill?

Of course, Roger didn't understand international dialing, and reached someone in Ohio because 234 is an Ohio area code.

Meanwhile, Archie responds to Eric:

Quote:

Good day Brother Eric, it's nice to meet you. Yes I am brother Archie who is in the process of becoming a member of the old Gods church.

Please I will appreciate if we can communicate via Google hangout (I bet he would). It makes it faster.

I will love to hear more about the fund raising details from you.

Eric tells him more about the tax issues that Roger mentioned:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I am glad I got the right person. I don't mind using Google hangouts, but I see you tried to contact me during the middle of the night. If it's not too much trouble, you should try to contact me at a normal time, other wise I won't be awake to reply to your messages.

Anyway, yes, the fund raiser. I believe Brother Roger told you how much money we raised? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we raised a lot of money for your village, and I am sure it will do a lot of good. The bad news is that there are tax consequences for this amount of money. Anything over $100,000 that gets transferred out of the country is scrutinized very heavily by the IRS, and I mean very heavily.

This would be different if you were already a member of the Church, because then it would just be an internal transfer within the organization and there would be no tax consequences. But since you are not, we will need to make sure our paper work is filled out perfectly and that nothing is out of place. I will get together the forms you need to fill and send them to you as soon as I can. Just so there are no more delays, once I send the paper work to you, please complete it as fast as you can and send it back.

May the Old Gods Bless You

Archie suggests splitting the money, but he is on board with doing the forms:

Quote:

Thank you Brother Eric, it's good to hear from you.

Brother Roger indeed told me that over $170,000 was raised at the fund raising. Honestly, it's a good news to hear and we are anticipating the release of the funds.

If the IRS policy doesn't allow above $100,000 in the bank transfer, I suggest that the money be sent in batches.
It can be split into 3-4 places.

I have sent you message on Google hangout, reply me so we can be having constant and instant message.

In regards to the form that I will need to fill out before the money will be sent, I will be waiting for you to send it.

Eric will reply tomorrow.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:30 am

Eric tells Archie about the form he needs to fill out:

Quote:

I am not sure what you mean about sending the money in batches. That won't make any difference to whether or not the IRS audits us, because what matters is how much we send to you in a calendar year, not how much we send in any one transaction. So even if we split the money into 3-4 places like you suggest, we still have to send you the whole $172,287.35 eventually.

Anyway, before we apply to the IRS to approve the donation to your charity, I will need to ask you to fill our Church form so the Elders can approve the donation. Brother Roger mentioned the form to you, right? I'm sure as a charity director, you must see a lot of these. The form is fairly standard, and it shouldn't take you too long. Please follow the instructions on the form, fill it out, and return it to me as soon as possible.

May The Old Gods Bless You

I didn't send him the form, instead Eric will send it tomorrow. Archie complains that Roger never gave it to him:

Quote:

Thanks for your response, brother Roger didn't send me any form.

The only thing that I have been on in the past couple months now is the church membership form that I am still on.

Is there any other form?

I told you that we should chat on hangout, I sent you message but you didn't reply.

Let's chat there.

Archie keeps trying to contact me through chat in the middle of the night, and I am not responding. He did the same thing to Roger last night, sending multiple missed Google Voice calls and chat messages. Roger gets confused about this:

Quote:

I am looking at my computer today and I am very confused, cause it is telling me that you sent me severely massages and missed phone calls last nite. I don't understand what is going on, how can you make a phone call threw the computer? This must be some new technicality I have never herd of.

Anyways, what did you wanted to say to me so urgently?

I don't think he will be happy about Roger's latest stupidity.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

I went ahead and tried to call him yesterday, but he had his phone off. And Moses isn't happy about it.

Quote:

I am disappointed my son. I just tried to call the number that you gave me, but there was a voice of what sounded like a nice African woman who said that the number I am trying to call is currently switched off. I tried to call, but you are not answering? I hope perhaps this means you are outside working on the Monument?

The Elders are beginning to have concern that you are lacking faith. I am still fearful that you are being tormented by demons who are making you very lazy. It is the only think I can think of. Most convorts, even if they lack money, show some sign of faith. Your pictures showed that you had accumulated some gravel and soil... are you telling me that you can't find even a few sandbags to begin work to show you are truly committed to this task?

All this talk of people pretending to be things they are not. I find it very concerning and a sign of lacking faith. I am worried what all of this is doing to Roger. He loves you so much my son, So much. I am afraid that I must take this email to the Elders. They are going to be concerned. And now when I call you I can't get through? After you have been asking for a call, when I call you I can't get through and your phone is off? I am very busy planning the next Sermon, I do not understand this. I just don't know what to think now.

Pastor Moses

I do enjoy calling him lazy...

Quote:

Dear Pastor, I quite unfortunate that it was today that I switched off my phone while I was praying for the divine strength in other to continue in my course to becoming a member of the old Gods church that you called me.

My number is never off, I will appreciate if you can call me again. Or better still call your phone number so I can call you.

I plead that you don't take the mail to the elders yet, let handle with care and trust.

You should also help me by protecting from the wrath of the elders.

Please call me again or drop your number..

Thanks for your response and concern.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

I finally called Archie today. I did my best old man impression and mostly just rambled on about the Monument, the fundraiser, Roger, Brother Eric, etc. I confirmed that we raised a great deal of money during the fundraiser and praised Brother Eric for all his hard work.

I mostly did all the talking and would continue rambling whenever he tried to ask a question...

Hopefully this will help to light a fire under him. He's been painfully lazy over the past month.

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 12:28 am

Maybe Archie needs to know about all the good things that are happening to Ramit now that he's a full member. That might encouarge him to get back to work on his Monument

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 7:32 am

Nice work, Big X!

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:19 am

Eric attaches the form this time:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I am sorry about the confusion. It is not Brother Roger's fault that he didn't send you the Church's Charity Sponsorship form. I was suppose to do that, but I forgot to attach it in my previous email.

I have attached the form to this email now, please fill it out as soon as you can and send it back to me. And of course, please let me know if you have any questions.

May The Old Gods Bless You

Archie says he will do the form, but complains he hasn't been able to chat with Eric:

Quote:

Thanks you Brother Eric, I will fill the form and send it to you as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, have sent you messages on hangout but you didn't reply any.

Please reply so we can have smooth and faster communication.

Pastor Moses called me last night, we spoke for about 5minutes. I really appreciate his time with me.

If you can also do same by calling me or drop your number so I can call you.

My number is <snip>

Sounds like he was happy to hear from you, Mr L.

Meanwhile, Archie tries to explain VoIP calls to Roger:

Quote:

Good day Mr Roger, like I said before I tried calling the number that you sent to me but its not going through.

That is why I had go on hangout to call you if you will answer, the Internet call is an instant, we can also have instant messaging there.

Its a faster way of communicating.

I will appreciate if you can call my phone number again today.

And I want you to reply your message and call on your computer. It's easy to operate and doesn't add to your phone bill

He's wasting his time. There is no way Roger is ever going to understand this.

Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 11:37 pm

Eric gives Archie his phone number:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, we must just keep missing each other on hangouts, that is unfortunate. (Actually, it is deliberate) If you see me online, please feel free to send me a message and I will respond. I am glad you had a chance to speak with Pastor Moses, he is such a wonderful man, isn't he?

My number is <echo test service number>. Please call me whenever, I always have my phone with me.

May The Old Gods Bless You

Archie wants to take his time with the forms, then send them back via courier:

Quote:

Thank you Brother Eric for your efforts towards my membership process and the fund raising in my community.

Yes Pastor Moses is indeed a good man as you have said. He spoke to me even when he was tired.

In regards to the sponsorship form that you sent, I will fill out the form and send it to you by weekend.

I have a suggestion to make, I will like to send the forms back to you by courier through FedEx or DHL.

Eric doesn't understand why he wants to send the forms back by a slower method:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I was hoping that you would have the sponsorship form filled already, but okay. Please try to complete them as soon as possible. After all, we do want to make sure the money goes to help your community recover from the floods as soon as possible.

I don't understand why you want to send it to us by FedEx though? Of course you can do that, but wouldn't it be much easier to scan the documents and send them back to us through email instead? Am I missing some reason you want to do it through FedEx instead?

May The Old Gods Bless You

If he insists, I may need to see if I can use a dropbox as the receiving address. But I am going to try and steer him toward using email.

I also allowed him to contact Eric over Google hangouts for a 15 minute conversation and he seems pleased about that.

Meanwhile, Archie also tries to get back in Hendley's good graces:

Quote:

Hello Robert, how are you doing?

Have you seen anyone for the pick up job yet?

Hendley brusquely dismisses him:

Quote:

Hi Paul - it is none of your business anymore, but yes, I have found another guyman who is willing to work with me under my conditions. He will be traveling to Lome on Monday, and I expect our job to be successful.

As I said to you previously, your services will not be required. That has not changed. By your behavior, you have amply demonstrated how foolish and unreliable you are, and I do not wish to risk my job with that.

Archie pleads with him to reconsider:

Quote:

Hey man, I am really sorry about the insult.

I have a heavy doubt about the genuity of the job. I have been a victim of such before. It didn't turn out well. I was locked up in police custody for days. The owner of the deal never showed up. (I know this lad has been safaried before, but I hope this detail is true)

Please gimme a second chance, two heads is better than one you will agree with me.

Hendley will relent eventually. I still want to get this lad on safari if possible.

Archie also reached out to Hilts with a lame update:

Quote:

Hey buddy, I am trying my best to get the church work done.

I will write you when it's time to transfer the money, you I can't do that without you.

Be patient.

Hilts tells Archie this shouldn't be so hard:

Quote:

Dude, you know me, I'm patient as fuck. Take all the goddam time you need. But don't give me that shit about your best. Losers whine about trying their best when they lose. Winners win, and then they go home and fuck the prom queen! Understand what I'm saying?

These church morons should not be given you this much trouble. Remember, your smarter then them, so act accordingly. Get your shit together. And keep me fucking updated. I don't wanna be in the dark when the old fool comes in and asks me what is going on.

Finally, Roger berates Archie for not being able to reach him by phone:

Quote:

What do you mean its not going threw? Are you having trouble using the phone again? You did the same thing before when I sent the money using that money gram security system and you couldn't finger out how to enter the pin number properly.

You know, I like you Archie, and I'm glad your joining the Church, but sometimes I wonder about your intelligent. This should be very simple to pick the phone and call me, but somehow your having trouble with it every time and making excuses. And now in stead you want me to use some fancy internet phone technicality. How can I be sure you won't mess that out too?

Archie says he will keep trying to call:

Quote:

I really appreciate your efforts to my membership.

Of a truth I have tried to call your phone but I couldn't reach it.
Neither were you able to call mine.

Pastor Moses called me last week and we spoke for about 5minutes.
He didn't have problems calling me, I wonder why you and I haven't been able to reach out to ourselves.

I will keep trying.

He sounds like he is getting skeptical. Roger is still having trouble calling Nigeria:

Quote:

I don't know, maybe I should ask Pastor Moses what he did to be able to reached you. I just tried calling again and I got that same person in Ohio. I think he is getting annoyed with me cause I keep calling him asking for you and he says your not their.

Anyways, maybe I can help you threw email. What did you needed to get in torch with me for?

Most of my characters are in a holding pattern until the lad sends the form and/or safaris.

Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 12:29 am

Archie has some questions about the Church form:

Quote:

Good brother Eric, please I have some questions regarding the charity form.

Q1, what is the sound of one hand clapping?

Q2, in which situation is it correct to pull the goalie with more than a minute left to play?

Please can you tell me how to go about these questions.

Eric's advice isn't very helpful:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I am not sure exactly what you're asking from me, but it is making me uncomfortable. You have to interpret and answer the questions for yourself, it is the only way the Elders can evaluate your character since you are not a member of the Church yet. I cannot help you with that, it would be very improper.

My advice to you is that you should pray very hard while you are filling out the form, and I am sure the Old Gods will inspire you to find the right answers.

May the Old Gods Bless You

Meanwhile, Archie hasn't replied to Roger in several days. Roger asks him why he's gone silent:

Quote:

Sometimes I really don't understand you. Before you were very eager to get in torch with me by phone so you could ask me something, but now your not replying when I told you that you could ask me by email. What is so impotent that you can only ask me on the phone? Are you worried about getting harked or something?

The lad seems to be losing interest, we may have to try something new to get him excited again.

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 3:07 am

Archie still hadn't responded to my characters, so I had Roger threaten to donate his money elsewhere:

Quote:

What is going on? I spoke to Brother Eric at Services on Sunday and he said that you have not filled the Elder's form for clearing your transfer yet. I don't understand. Why are you causing more delays like this? Your not responding to me, your not emailing Pastor Moses, and your not even filling the form so we can finally send you the bake sale funds we raised!

Honestly, we don't have time for your slowness. The Church is dealing with another horrible flooding disaster now, I am sure you have herd of the hurricane in Texas? Our sister parish in Houston has been effected and we are trying to raise money for them as well. So if you can't work with us properly to get the Elder's approval and than clear the money with the IRS, I may have to recommend to Pastor Moses that we send it to the needy people in Texas in stead. I don't want to have to do that, so please get it done as soon as you can!

Archie immediately tells Roger not to do that:

Quote:

No please, Mr Roger, don't tell Pastor Moses to send the money for Houston victims. The church can raise another fund.

Please I will complete my form and send it to brother Eric as soon as possible.

Amazing how quickly a lad will move when he thinks he's about to lose his payday.

And another thing, Archie is perfectly happy to claim money intended for actual flood victims. More proof, if any was still needed, of how much of a scumbag this lad is.

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:08 am

Archie begs Eric to tell Roger not to follow through on his threat to send the bake sale money to Houston:

Quote:

Good day brother Eric, help me plead with pastor Moses and the church that I will submit the form by tomorrow evening. I have completed the form but my scanner is faulty (sure it is Rolling Eyes

) , I took it the repairer to fix it.

Brother Roger said that if I don't submit the form by Sunday that the money will be given to other people.

Please help me plead with Pastor Moses and brother Roger to please give me little more days.
I promise that latest by Saturday I will submit the form.

Meanwhile, I have been trying calling your cell phone but it's not connecting.

Can we can on hangout later today by 5pm your time.

I'm ok with it if he takes longer.

Meanwhile, Roger tells Archie how disappointed he is that he is not completing the membership:

Quote:

Well, what am I suppose to do? Your not a member of the Church yet cause you still haven't completed your Stage 3 after several months, and now many members are whispering beyond my back about you at Services and saying your never going to get it done. I am standing out for you and telling them that I have Faith that you will complete it, but your making a liar out of me with each Sunday that goes by when you still haven't done it. And now your refusing to fill the even the simple form to clear the money from the bake sale with the Elders! I am very disappointed in you.

It is very difficult for me to tell the other members of my parish that we should continue to hold this money aside for you, when we have fellow members of the Church in need of our aide in Houston, in stead of heathen unbelievers like you and the people in your village. I am sorry, cause I believe that the Old Gods protect all people equally, and we should help your people who are suffering in Africa, but that is the way people think here.

So please don't make it any more difficult for me. Complete your membership and complete the form so you can finally become my Brother in the Church and we can finally get you the bake sale money that you need to rebuild your community.

Hopefully that lights a fire under the lad's ass. I don't mind that he is taking a while, but he is getting a bit boring.

Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 6:52 am

A bit boring or not, he's another unsatisfied lad. Great job, Big X.

Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 4:43 pm

Archie sends Eric the filled out forms:

Quote:

Good day Brother Eric, I have completed the charity sponsorship form.

The attachment file is below.

Please brother Eric help me plead with the elders and the church to please release some of the fund to me.

My people are in dare need of the money.

These are the forms he sent:

https://i.imgur.com/xGzSxLE.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/DqkoXPz.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/nJaSRSl.jpg

(Edited to change to links to prevent blowout)

Eric tells Archie that he will send these on to Pastor Moses and the Elders:

Quote:

Hello Brother Archie, I am glad that you were finally able to submit the form! I apologize for not responding for a few days, I was on vacation for the Laboring Day holiday weekend and I didn't check my email until just now. I will pass your completed form on to Pastor Moses and the Elders will evaluate your responses and make the final decision on approving the money.

May The Old Gods Bless You

And Archie informs Roger that he completed the forms:

Quote:

Good day Mr Roger, I have completed the charity sponsorship form and I have sent it to brother Eric.

Please I know that I have not completed the stage 3, I will complete it soon.

Please help me plead with the Pastor Moses, Elders and the church members to let them send my community some of the fund raised to enable us feed and start reconstruction the structure that was destroyed.

Roger will respond tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Good day Pastor, I have completed the charity sponsorship form and I have sent it to brother Eric.

Please I know that I have not completed the stage 3, I will complete it soon.

Please help me plead with the brother Roger, the church elders and the church members to let them send my community some of the fund raised to enable us feed and start reconstruction of some the structures that was destroyed by the flood.

I am still very committed to becoming the a member of the old Gods church.

Please bear with me, as I complete my stage 3 of this membership process.

Best regards

Moses is getting tired of his empty promises...

Quote:

To be frank with you my son, I am losing hope that you are going to finish. There are good people here in Houston that need money badly. If you were making some kind of progress on your monument... But you have seemed to do nothing at all for months now!

Pastor Moses

He promises that he will complete the monument in 7 days.

Quote:

Dear Pastor Moses, I am not happy that you didn't message me for over 2weeks. I was worried, I thought you have forgotten me.

Please I want to plead with you and the church elders to give me 7 days. I will complete the monument. I have already sent the sponsorship form to brother Eric.

Please call my phone, I have been trying to call your phone, but its not Connecting.

I don't have high hopes, but it seems the possibility that he may lose money to people that are ACTUALLY in need has lit a small fire under his ass. I will keep the pressure on him.

Quote:

I have not forgotten you my son. However, I am very busy with delivering my sermons and with the assistance that I provide to other recent convorts. It just seems as if you have lost your faith and have not been dedicating yourself to your Stage 3. We were all so exited and proud of your Stage 1 and Stage 2, we have been surprised at your lack of effort with your Stage 3.

To be quite honest and frank with you, I had come to the conclusion that the bake sale funds should be redirected to the poor suffering people of Houston. They are in such need right now. And you have shown no intent to finish your Stage 3.

I am taking you at your word my son. You have requested 7 days to complete the monument. I will give you those 7 days. I do hope that you do not disappoint me again. And most impotently I hope that you do not disappoint Brother Roger.

In 7 days, I am expecting photographs of the Monument of Faith, The Bench of Admiration, and I would like to see you sitting on the Bench, admiring the Monument and the Glory of the Old Gods.

If you do this, as you have promised me that you will, then I will make sure that the funds are held, and despite the dire needs of those in Houston, we will send them to you to distribute to your villagers as we had agreed.

I await your finished Monument.

He's been dragging his feet for months now. I want to see that finished bench!

Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:52 am

Chapeau bas!

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