Sister Mary *AUDIOBOOKS* *NSFW* SAFARI UPDATE

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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:38 am

Since the package is already in Niamey, I think it's better if the explosion simply causes delays. Perhaps by some miracle the check and the cash are safe, and it's only the other gifts which are destroyed. Even though he is busy right now, I want him to not lose motivation to go to Cameroon. As long as the package arrives sometime before or on Monday, we will have him on schedule. I like the idea of the inspector realizing there is a bomb though.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:04 am

No, no actual explosion. Just the inspector monitoring emails discovered the plot. Humphere better be appreciative or Pitt will be pissed.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:08 am

That makes sense. The email from Muttley with the message "BOOM!" had better be a big hint to Mr. Humphere. Tomorrow hopefully he will get himself mugged or something while handing out flyers. I want to see a news story about this. An actual news story.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Feathers also sent him an email that simply said "BOOM". In Latin, of course.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:40 am

From the Inspector:

Quote:

The esteemed Mr Ny*sh!

This shit show continues I tell you! We've been tracing emails from the Snorky Boys and we think there is a strong likelihood that one of them placed an explosive device in your shipment! We're just not sure who planted it.

For fuck sake Ny*sh, stay the fuck away from that package! We're trying to get the shipping company to isolate the package and locate the nearest explosive experts to disarm it!

You better thank your lucky stars Ny*sh that I figured this shit out or you'd be in a million pieces soon! Here you thought you were safe! But here I am once again saving your ass.

Let me know if you have any idea who might have placed the device! For fuck sake don't open the damn package until the authorities say it is safe!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Package is now in Yaounde. I'll bump it over do Douala tomorrow and let him know its available for pickup.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He is confused

Quote:

Good morning sir,am writing to inform you about the news I got from inspector this morning,he said a bomb has been place in my package from the snorkey boys,am just confuse because I don't know my chance of receiving the package again,I don't know were to go from here.how can this be happening again? This kind of thing was what happens when sis Mary said she has gone to bank to pay my money just when I was hoping to get the money,all I got was from feathers saying he stole the money,now I have to go through this penful experience again?sir I don't mean to offend you like my email always does but am just confuse

Quote:

I tell you, if it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:09 pm

Hump to Inspector:

Quote:

Good morning sir,and thank you for your email,mr muttley send me email last night and also he said on the email is boom! I don't know what he ment until I saw your email now because I was told that children from the orphanage placed gift in the package for me maybe it should be from.there,let me know what next to do

Quote:

The esteemed Mr Ny*sh!

Oh thank fuck you are alive! I wasn't too late. Damn fine police work if I say so myself.

I'm in contact with the shipping company to locate the package. Can't be that fucking hard but these places are often complete shit shows themselves. I've got the police in Camaroon searching as well since a Snorky Boys attack on their country would be a PR nightmare. I feel confident they will be able to disarm this thing.

Ny*sh you need to watch out for yourself! They have your name and address and they are dangerous! Don't take them lightly. I'll let you know when I hear from the Cameroon police as to the status of your package.

You are the fifth life I've saved this month from these damn Snorky Boys. Be thankful Ny*sh. This was a close one.

He better be thankful or I'm not going to be happy. He's not putting together that it was Nelson. So he remains a free orphan.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:08 pm

Update about his publicity campaign:

Quote:

Bro thank you so much am very well relief now,bro i have been in the street all day trying to put the flyers together ,now i print the fliers and to get people to chant vote for penfold is big deal and no body wants to do anything free without money and everybody is afraid to show there face,because it is international and most of them were telling me to give them a huge amount of money because they thought i took money for the campaign video.,but at the end of the day, i was able to give them the last money with me,which was some of the transportation money to Cameroon and i was able to record my self shearing the fliers written.(VOTE PENFOLD. )(NIGERIANS LOVE PENFOLD)and because of how the environment and trying to control the little people i got, i could not do more,so all i got was , the crowed chanting, vote penfold and Nigerians love penfold, what do you think?

I can't wait to see the video.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He's annoyed with the delays:

Quote:

Good day out of curiosity i want to know my package has been in yaounde very close to Douala for two days now and my pick up point is Douala. why is the delay ? anything wrong? (not yet) and when is it going to be available for pick up? am coming from nigeria so i need to work with time here, thank you

Package is ready to pick up in Douala.

Quote:

Good day,

Your parcel has been delivered and is ready to be picked up at our Douala, Cameroon facility. You can collect the parcel during regular business hours 8;00am to 6:00pm, Monday through Saturday. The package has been placed in our Douala long-term parcel storage and will be transferred to the public parcel collection hub on the date that you choose to collect it.

Our office is located adjacent to Ctre de Santé Privé Catholique, N 12, Douala, Cameroon. Adjacent to the Protestant Church and the Adjacent to Hospital Deo Gratias. You will have no difficulty locating the office, it is very prominent.

Please let us know when you intend to come and collect the package and we will transfer your package to the public parcel collection hub for your inspection and collection. Remember that you will need to bring your photo ID, and it must be collected by you in person.

Thank you for using GPSE!

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:04 pm

To Inspector:

Quote:

Thank you inspector and I want you to know that no matter how bad things went between us,I want you to know that I still have much love and respect for you and I will always do,please sir take good care of your self and my greetings to your men

Quote:

I'm told by local police your package is in Douala. They have quarantined the site and they are sending in explosive experts to determine exactly what they are dealing with. Only then can they try to disarm it.

Pray that your cash doesn't blow up with it. I'm told they hope to have an all clear in a few hours.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

That Nelson is quite the little anarchist isn't he? 😇

I would love to see someone with video editing skills take his video and make a 60 second spot out of it. That way when things go from worst to worster he can look back on happier days. Of course we need the video first

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Bomb or not, he says that he's coming to get it!

Quote:

Thank you,because I am coming from Nigeria,by Monday or Tuesday,I will be in Cameroon to pick it up,thank you

Looking at Google Maps, it looks like there are some large Wildlife Reserves just south of the city. There is also a Chimpanzee Sanctuary on an Island of the Sanaga River. Maybe we can get him to go there and send us pictures. Very Happy

ETA: A review of the Chimp Sanctuary:

A great place to visit and interact with chimpanzees! Been there already twice, just went there to play around with the chimps. Definitely bring fruit to feed the chimps and be ready to get really friendly with them. Just as interesting they are to you - you are to them as well.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Oh oh. I hope the goat doesn't get jealous

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 7:48 pm

He doesn't seem too concerned that his reward is about to be blown away.

Quote:

OK sir thank you for the update .I will be waiting to hear more

Quote:

Just got word from Cameroon that the explosive device is indeed armed and packed with an explosive known used by the Snorky Boys. A perimeter has been set up around its location and a bomb squad is on sight. One expert has been injured already by a small booby trap used to prevent disarmament. It sounds like a real shit show down there.

You should be thankful Ny*sh. Could have been you.

I'll get back to you.

I'm just adding stress to his day. I don't plan on holding him up since he's not traveling for a few days anyway. I'll give the all clear soon. Some more innocents may be injured before then.

The Chimpanzee place sounds amazing! No doubt he'll enjoy a visit. Better than setting up a recording studio to record the crap he calls music. I'm jealous.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I will be shocked if he actually did the video. His package is waiting for him. No need to suck up to Penfold any longer

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:43 pm

He stored it on someone else's memory card, so he is waiting for that. Other than that, he is ready to travel.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Am just coming back from printing the fliers now,and by the grace of god by tomorrow I will deliver sir on that bomb case what do I do now,how do I get the package because that is my only hope of becoming useful in life again

Oh, Mr. Humphere, I think you have been extremely useful these past four months. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Well, I guess by the grace of god you will get it. Ask the Inspector or the delivery company what they think you should do. And get me that video!

VOTE PENFOLD!

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:41 pm

OK, let the safari begin!

Quote:

I just got the all clear call from the officials in Cameroon. They reported a minor explosion which caused some damage to a few contents and three officers were injured, but they assured me that whatever check was included is unharmed.

Apparently there were some children's crafts included and some were damaged. But the check and the shipping container I'm told are okay.

Fucking close one Ny*sh. You should thank your lucky stars that I played a hunch and got it right. You're welcome for saving your life. Now next time, don't dare think these Snorky Boys can't get to you. They seem to be fucking everywhere.

By any chance is Fellatio still messaging you? He's been locked up under guard but we keep finding his emails everywhere. Fucking unreal.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

https://vimeo.com/230611456 - updated link at Lake Amour's request - bw

Vote Penfold!

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

That is incredible video footage! Funny on so many levels. Perhaps Mr Penfold should brace himself for accusations of "Nigerian collusion" in the upcoming election?

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 12:17 pm

Outstanding. Clearly staged but hilarious. I can't convert it to Vimeo until I get home Monday so someone please make a copy.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I don't think having this one up on Youtube is a problem The comments have been disabled and I think we would want as many views as possible to reinforce the lie that Michigan Nigerians are viewing the video.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

It's not very good is it. Oh well, I guess it is the best you can do. I have instructed my staff to send the link out via social media so we will see how many hits it gets. You are still going to have your friend record something professional for me, right?

VOTE PENFOLD!

So let's get those hits up!

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:46 pm

He's going on safari!

Quote:

Bro the link is what i was able to get for the video, i hope you can get anything out of it.should in case i never reply any of your email or mr penfold email,please know that i am on the way to Cameroon this morning so i might not be able to access email till am back but as soon as i have access to internate i will email or reply, thank you bro

I told him to take photos of himself at the border and in Cameroon for security reasons/evidence of safari. At this point I really doubt he would lie about traveling, but more evidence is always cool. Once he arrives in Douala, I think the package should be transferred to Yaounde for security reasons. That is, after he has wasted a day or two trying to find the office.

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