Sister Mary *AUDIOBOOKS* *NSFW* SAFARI UPDATE

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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:48 am

One more...

I'm hoping for HOF status with this bait. By my count, so far he's sold his car, cell phone and generator to make his life more exciting. And I just looked up all the great things to do in Douala. I sure hope he brings some books with him for his travels since he enjoyed reading so much.

Still wondering about the wife's brother. I sure hope they get along despite the in - law not paying to bail his own sister out of jail and then she ends up dying. Be a shame if that conversation ruins their vacation together. No doubt he can bring some of his own music to pass the time on the road.

I really am curious how much of his day he spends with us. Seriously, he emails back so fast I think he just waits for news out of Beaver Island.

The number of characters is amazing. I've had 5 I think. Jayhawk at least 4, MrM just one? Plus Cammy and we'll see how his shipment goes to see how many more we can add. Plus the 30+ orphans already named and characters like Jethro and the bank manager that are not directly involved. The actual population of Beaver Island is 551 so we might actually get everyone covered by the end. Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Feathers just sent him an email in Latin that should rattle his cage

Quote:

Asinus! Tusatanas! Satellites illam unam patere mihi in occursum adventus tui in Nigeria. <His real life address>

I'm guessing he will be quite motivated to travel now.

I'm thankful that the lad planted the idea that Feathers has Satanic influences. Makes it much easier to explain how Feathers knows things.

Note - certain parts of the Latin were masked to avoid a lad search.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:18 am

He says he isn't reading the Feathers emails. I'll remind him tomorrow. I do not doubt at this point that he wants to travel to Cameroon; the question is simply how he will get there. Even though I only have one character so far, partially because I joined only halfway through this masterpiece, I do email him about ten times a day on average, sometimes more, so it kind of balances out. Even though I only really started being active recently, I was around for the end of the Turd saga, Eric and Franklin, Prosper, and a few other brilliant baits. I am not sure if we can reach that level yet, but we're getting there. Since he is traveling by road, I need to do some planning to figure out what detours he can make or what could possibly go wrong. Unfortunately, they speak some English in Cameroon. Fortunately, it's still really far away.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Penfold scares the crap out of him.

Quote:

Yes sir thank you , all you said is true and i am going to do all your asistannt told you i promise you and please forgive my manners i never forgot all you did for me and will never, how i wish i can do more, but for the campagn stuff i have a friend that will help me out to get the best , so dont worry your self sir i will get it done.thank you for your understanding

Every time Penfold slaps him he responds this way.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ Oh, how dreadfully unkind, he'll be getting a complex. Laughing

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:42 pm

My secretary (Miss Bowne C. Castle) has informed me that perhaps our lad needs to be reminded (encouraged) that all out of pocket expenses to do with this trip will be refunded in full and in cash from the petty cash account on production of receipts. So there should only be a minor impact on his cash-flow.

Juan

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:32 pm

That's actually a good point, but so far he hasn't asked us for money or anything for traveling, so I'm perfectly fine with letting him suffer by himself. If he starts to get grumpy later, I can mention that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Humphere chooses Cameroon:

Quote:

The attachment is my id and it is the copy of my id identify by court that gave you my package
And i chose to receive my package in (Douala, Cameroon)which is the closest country to me because i am a Nigerian and i will be coming from Nigeria to pick up my parcel when it arrives, and also i have been instructed to email you a video link by court to prove to you that i am the real person to receive the package to avoid misunderstanding when i come here is the video link
<video link>. please do give me every instruction i need and also let me know when the parcel arrives. you can notify me on this email
Also will i be notify when my parcel arrives ? will i be given any tracking parcel code?

He attaches a fake ID card and also his video.

GPS acknowledges his confirmation, and will dispatch the package soon:

Quote:

Thank you for your email Mr. Humphere. The content is noted and well received.

We acknowledge that you have selected Douala, Cameroon as your pickup location.

You will be emailed information shortly which will contain tracking information for your package. Delivery can be expected within 3 - 21 days of dispatch.

Package must be picked up by you in person. A copy of the attached ID card will be required.

A confirmation will be sent soonest.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Is it his picture on the phony id? Could he really be so stupid as to send a phony id that did not have his picture?

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:49 pm

It's probably the enterprises ID. That's what I told him to use because it had his current picture.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

^^Yep that's the one he sent. I tried to upload it but got a bunch of virusy looking popups on the site I was using. And Upload Eater seems to be gone now...

Package is on the way... currently in Detroit.

Quote:

Your package has been dispatched.

Tracking number for the package is <snip>. To track the package, you will need to log in:

<snip>

Create a USERNAME and PASSWORD by selecting REGISTER on the above page. Once you are registered, follow the progress of your delivery using the tracking number provided.

We look forward to providing you with our Award Winning Customer Service.

For those of you who don't know about the GPS company, you can read more about it here. It is an excellent safari tool.

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=174095&sid=82ee9203afcca0a6b33de60a40b2bd6f

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

THANK YOU ALSO I WANT TO KNOW DESPITE BEEN GIVEN THE TRACKING NUMBER, WILL I BE NOTIFY BY EMAIL WHEN MY PARCEL GETS TO DOUALA? ALSO CAN I HAVE THE ADDRESS OF YOUR OFFICE IN DOUALA WHERE TO PICK IT UP AS AM COMING FROM NIGERIA TO MAKE IT SIMPLE FOR ME?

I give him an address with some vague reference points...

Quote:

Yes sir,

You will get periodic emails as the parcel is routed to your hub for delivery, including when the package is available for pickup.

Our office is located adjacent to <random address>, Douala, Cameroon. Adjacent to the Protestant Church and the Adjacent to Hospital Deo Gratias. You will have no difficulty locating the office, it is very prominent. Very Happy

Thank you for choosing GPSE.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:44 pm

An update from him:

Quote:

ok bro I have not gotten the transportation yet but am hoping on something but surely before it gets there i will get the transportation money to go, also they have email me there address in Cameron, am sorry for the delay to reply, am just managing my battery so that i can reply you, bro this country is killing us , can you imaging getting to one month now , no electricity ? and the cost of fuel is high, bro you did not say anything on how long the check will be valid?

Hopefully he can scrounge up the money in a few days.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He has a hundred grand plus waiting for him. Wtf is he waiting for?

Mr. Muttley sends him words of encouragement

Quote:

Looks like Mr. Muttley was right and Mr. Humper is a lier. Mr. Muttley bets that Mr. Humper is happy now because Mr. Feathers is in jale. Mr. Humper not know that Mr. Feathers powers are long reaching and Mr. Feathers is mad at Mr. Humper. Mr. Humper will rue the day that Mr. Humper decided to turn on Mr. Feathers. Mr. Humper has Mr. Muttley's word on that.

I don't know if he is reading Mr. Muttley's emails or not. I am guessing not. But it is still fun to write him as Muttley from time to time just to keep the paranoia level high.

eta - He is lying about the no electricity thing. He has a phone and it seems to always be fully charged, as if the email is important enough he replies within minutes after seeing it.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 11:36 pm

He has been inconsistent about it, and there have been gaps between messages. I'm guessing he charges his phone in the morning or afternoon. He also apologizes to me after those delays and blames the power. He may also not want Mr. Penfold to realize that he is having electricity issues. All that matters is that he will travel soon. Here's another update:

Quote:

Bro once I pick up,the next thing I will do is to do the campaign video stuff in pH before embarking on my personal stuff,I will not let you down

Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:42 am

Well this is a relief, he LOVES to travel! And he wants no more Fellatio.

Hump to Jenna the Reporterette...

Quote:

1 My Name is Mr Humphere I* N*
2 Been a key witness to this trail,just make me feel like i have done something right for once in my whole life.also this case has thought me a lot of things about court and legal practitioners,let me say that i was educated from this case and am grateful for that knowledge
3 How do i feel? to be honest, this case was bigger than me because at a point i started feeling like this case is mission impossible
3b Of course i feel happy that the case is over and not only the case been over, the court was able to bring justice. so i am very much relief now
4 What are you planning on doing with the money? These money is another fresh starting point for me,so i think am going to invest more on my career now and a few other investment .
5 Fellatio has been sentenced to death. How do you feel about the death penalty and do you think it should be applied to kids as young as Fellatio?
As a christian my bible said in the book of (Matthew 5.30)
If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you.It is better for you to lose a part of your body than to have all of it go into hell
so despite the age of fellatio ,instead of more innocent American life's been damage, it is better to put a stop to it and i don't think age should be a problem to it .
6 Rumors are saying you may be involved in Penfold's run for governor Are you involved? And what sort of impact do you think you could make? Do you think persuading the Nigerian vote in Michigan might sway the election in Penfold's favor? i can not say anything on my involvement on the campaign now. persuading the Nigerian vote in Michigan? there is nothing like persuasion here, because Nigerians we love mr penfold, and we love what he stands for which is justice. so if it come to that, Nigerians are not persuaded into it but we did it all with all our heart because we are sure it is the right thing to do in order to put mr penfold on that thrown
7 Yes i recorded a view children audio books for them and at a point i just wish i could go back been a kid again
8 I just lost my wife .So yes i am very much single and am not in any relationship for now
9 And finally, do you have any hobbies or favorite things to do you would like to share with my readers? Do you like to travel? Hike? Anything of interest?
i love to travel.but music is the only thing that i can not do without and the only thing i can do anything for.
Thank you Jenna

Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 7:54 am

So he supports the death penalty for juveniles? Maybe if that ever got out, Mr H could find himself getting hate mail.

Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 12:51 pm

Could that link back to Penfold? I.e. if one of Penfold's major supporters approves the death penalty for minors, if a reporter got hold of that, would it ruin Penfold's reputation?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ I think Penfold's position on the death penalty is pretty clear. At least in this case. Penfold was the one who elected to try this as a Capital case and push for the death penalty.

Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:22 pm

He hasn't been able to get the money yet to travel. You would really think he would be more motivated to retrieve his package. He also hasn't said anything else about his wife's brother, who was allegedly going to travel with him. Hopefully once the package arrives, he suddenly finds the means to go.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Let's see if we can motivate him to travel

Quote:

Hello Mr. Humphere. I just returned from the prison and things are not good. The warden called to tell me that the criminal Feathers had not eaten or spoken to anyone for the past three days. He said that the criminal Feathers just kept staring straight ahead muttering something in Latin, The warden asked me to come down and make sure nothing sinister was going on. When I arrived at the prison things were crazy. The criminal Feathers had come out of his trance and was jumping all around his jail cell screaming <lad address>i over and over at the top of his voice. He said Mr Penfold tell Humphere that I know and started screaming <lad address> again and again. The warden finally had to put the criminal Feathers in a straight jacket and throw him in a padded cell. Mr Humphere it was quite frightening. The criminal Feathers had foam coming from his mouth when he was shouting. It was like he was not in control of himself.
Mr. Humphere, do you have any idea what the criminal Feathers was talking about and what is it he knows? I am very confused.

Remember Vote Penfold!

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:35 am

Somebody is going to have fun at the border:

Quote:

Yes I know i will have small issue with it because of international passport but there must be a way to cross when I get there

Quote:

Yes bro i am going with someone but you know how border is, all man on his own but there must be a way for me to pass

Is he going to try and sneak across the border? I don't think he really has a plan. If he's planning on bribing somebody, he will need a good amount of money.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Good to hear from you my excellency Sir that is the address to my house, he send me email two days ago telling me that he knows my address and the other kid muttley send me email too that feathers is not happy with me that i will be sorry for given feathers up,but i am not scared, he can jump and vomit magot, but one thing i know is that devil does not have power over me, the jesus in me never sleep nor slumber , so i will be waiting for him and his demons right here, and also he is working on his escape according to him before his execution ,

Quote:

So tell me, does the Jesus in you that never sleeps carry any weapons? I don't know how in the fuck this kid keeps doing this, but being scared right now just might be the smart thing to do. Have you picked up your money yet? If it was me I would take that money and move far far away. I would love to help you with getting a Visa and coming to the United States but only the Governor has the power to grant an emergency Visa. When is the Penfold for Governor rally scheduled? I am going to start running some television ads soon and I really need those rally videos.

Vote Penfold!

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:12 am

Should Cammy nudge him too, or is she too busy putting up wards about Feathers' cell block and being Penfold's spiritual advisor?

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 11:45 am

He is so involved in this world that I have no doubt if we told him the truth, he wouldn't believe us.

He sends an email to Sister Mary. Maybe he does have electrical problems?

Quote:

Madam happy Sunday and how are you today? i am sorry for not been able to email you for few days now, we have been having difficulties with electricity, how is the orphanage ? how is miss Connie? and how is your island, well i hope that sweet Jesus is keeping you all, well i just wanted to email you to let you know that despite the distance, your one friend that i wish were close to me.please do take good care of your self.
thank you

Sister gives some advice and tells him a few things that are in the box:

Quote:

Oh my dear mr hump here with the deep voice!

So very nice to readeth from you again as it been so beautiful around here and we enjoying the late days of summer and mostly we be outside but I now take a moment from making breakfast and I see your wonderful email and my heart warms and I feel indeed it time to write back!

I do hope mr hump here you enjoy all the wonderful gifts that my orphans send to you. I not give too much away as they be all surprises but Penelope do something with painted flowers and Orphan Timmy send a real nice pine car to you and Orphan Nelson do something with a clock that look really neat with wires and all and Orphan Bob write you a very nice card and decorate with stickers and glue and glitter and stars and there be plenty more in there for you as well and I am told that they are on their way and you will have their beautiful creations very soon indeed!

I wish i can help with you electricity problems indeed I do Mr hump here but I now know much about it. Orphan Timmy here right now and he say to check your circuit breaker box for trips. Maybe that help?

Anyway we taking very good care of ourselves and yes indeed the sweet nailed god baby jesus watch over all of us and we pray nightly and often we include you and yours and we hope all is well with you after all!

Quote:

Thank you madam for your email and thank you for the gift although i have not receive them yet but from what i had, they gift is on the way , i have not receive them yet but i cant wait to see the surprise you have for me when the gift finally gets here, extend my greeting to miss connie and all the orphans

Off on yet another (short) vacation. Back in a few days with a new character!

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