Archie Fails to Join the Church of the Old Gods

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Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 1:49 am

*Yay!*

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 2:04 am

Just popping in to say how glad I am that the Church of the Old Gods is continuing to expand its flock in my absense. This guy looks like a keeper. Very Happy

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 2:28 am

^ Glad to see you around, Bort! Yes, this lad is definitely a fun one, and he seems to be enjoying your Church modality.

Roger is pleased to hear from Archie:

Quote:

Oh, it is good to hear from you! I am pleased to hear that you have been working very hard on your literary devolution. I am sorry I ever doted your Faith in the Old Gods, clearly your Faith and Devolution is very strong in deed!

I can't wait to see your interpretation of the Book of Exodus, and I am sure the other Church members are exited to see it too. We are all very pleased to see the depths of your dedication.

One more thing: When you send the writing to me, can you send it to Pastor Moses also? That way he can show it to the Elders sooner. You know how hopeless I am with technicalities, I would never be able to do that properly.

Archie doesn't want to scan that many pages:

Quote:

Hello Mr Roger, The literary devolution is about 182 pages (Holy shit, no wonder it took him so long!) from what i have written. It will be so much and hectic scanning and sending it to you and Pastor Moses.

I am considering sending it to Pastor Moses through FEDEX or DHL,
How about that?

We'll have to come up with a reason for why he can't just ship the manuscript. I want him to waste a lot of time and money scanning pages forever. Twisted Evil

Meanwhile, Archie tells Hilts that he will keep him informed:

Quote:

Alright Hilts.

They will let me know if i have completed the process or there still more stage. I will let you what they say once i send it.

Spoiler: There will be more stages.

Hilts encourages the lad:

Quote:

Sounds good dude. Let me know what happens. I'll hold out on telling my buddy to get ready for the money laundry until you tell me we're good to get it.

I'm hoping their gonna go for it and make you a member. We're so close to that sweet sweet money I can fucking taste it!

It amuses me to have Hilts blithely assume that joining the Church is so easy, and confidently assure the lad that they're close to claiming the money, when in reality we're putting Archie through ridiculous obstacles and the end is nowhere in sight. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

The literary devolution is about 182 pages

Reading that absolutely made my day! Laughing

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 6:50 am

"...Reading that absolutely made my day!..."
For me too! Laughing

@Big X:
- Maybe you can accept "generously" to get pictures taken with the phone? Instead of scanned copies?
- Of course, all the pages MUST be sended by DHL directly to the Church office address.

Laughing

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 9:45 am

Big X wrote:

The literary devolution is about 182 pages

His hand must be sore.

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:11 pm

Roger tells him that the Church prefers scanning:

Quote:

I think Pastor Moses would probably proffer that you scan the pages and send them to him, cause that is the way the Elders usually want things done. I don't know much about the technicalities, so I could be wrong about this, but I also think scanning would also be faster in getting here in stead of how slow the mail is (faster for us, not so much for him). So if you want to continue with your membership precess sooner, than scanning mite be better.

But you should ask Pastor Moses what you should do, maybe he will be willing to receive your literary devolution threw the mail or the package posting. Yes, I think asking him would be best. I know he will give you good advise.

Let's see what he decides to do.

Posted: Tue May 23, 2017 10:09 pm

Roger prodded Archie to find out what he wanted to do:

Quote:

I have not herd back from you, did you got in torch with Pastor Moses to find out which way he proffers you to send your literary devolution writing?

If you haven't, please try to do that as soon as you can, cause I want to make sure the Elders review your work very soon and than you can precede to the next step of the membership precess. Remember, the faster you become a member of the Church, the faster we will be able to continue with our gold mining business, and I am very exited for that!

Archie responded with a blank message with 182 attachments. I think he actually scanned them all!

Unfortunately, he appears to have put them into a Google Drive, which requires me to request access from him, and I am going nowhere near that. Roger will be flummoxed by this tomorrow and ask him to send them again as proper attachments.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Moses doesn't like that he does not respond for so long.

Quote:

You are ignoring me again. Why?

It is taken as a great sign of disrespect to me that you ignore my emails for large sections of time.

Pastor Moses

Lad apologizes:

Quote:

I am very sorry Pastor Moses I didn't ignore you.But I have a problem with size of each file. I am finding it difficult to send it as attachment. I will be sending it little by little, hopefully before friday I will be done sending it all. Please bear with me.

Yep, he did them! Very Happy

He scanned 16 of them individually. Those I can see and I will post them shortly. Then he sent me another 180+ documents via Google Drive, which I'm not going to open. I will insist that he re scan them like he did with the 16 that he did send me.

Pastor Moses is very happy to see his work:

Quote:

Thank you for the update my son,

Perhaps I was too short tempered with you. I just become frustrated is all, when I don't hear from you for so long. I have received 16 pages of your writing. I look forward to receiving the completed texts in the coming days. Please scan and send them in the same manner as you have scanned and sent these 16 pages.

Also, if you would send a picture of yourself with the completed pages all spread out on the ground around you, that would be a very nice gesture for the Elders. Take all of your writings and lay them side-by-side around you in a room. Make sure that you are in the picture as well. Have a friend or loved one take the picture with you surrounded by your writings. I hope to see you smiling my son. You should be very happy to be so close to being a full member!

I wait your completed texts. I am so very excited for you my son! It appears you have finished your Stage 2, and are nearing completion of your membership into our glorious church!

Pastor Moses

Posted: Wed May 24, 2017 2:19 am

^ I think he sent Roger the same thing, I also got 16 scanned pages with the same email body:

Quote:

Good day Mr Roger,
I have finish scanning the literary devolution writing like I said in last mail to you.

But I have a problem with size of each file. I am finding it difficult to send it as attachment.

I will be sending it little by little, hopefully before friday I will be done sending it all.

Please bear with me.

I love that he must be wasting a bunch of his time and money scanning the pages, in addition to the extraordinary amount of time he already spent writing out the text. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 24, 2017 3:28 am

I had to scan a few things recently, and at just 5-6 pages it was a pretty annoying process. I can't imagine the time and frustration involved in individually scanning and attaching 182 pages!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Here's a little taste, just a few of the pages posted in no particular order.

I'm not going to bother spending my time scanning all these, so you'll probably just want to pick up a Bible if you actually want to read this. Very Happy

Moses will press him for a picture of himself, with the pages spread around a room. Just to make for a more amusing photo. After he's scanned all 182 pages of course...

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Good work, guys. Lovely trophy in the making and the length of time it took the lad to complete, a testimony to the time you have helped him waste.

More to be wasted, yet, with the rest of the scanning, along with hitting his pocket.

Nice job. clapping

Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 1:25 am

...if only it were legible. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:19 pm

some awful scribble, trying to decipher it, reads top of last page

"He mark the at ontav of burnt offering of shit term wood, fire cubits was the length thereof , and five cubits the breadth ..."

Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 2:24 pm

I missed this earlier! Damn fine work! Makes my carpal tunnel go crazy thinking about it!

Posted: Wed May 31, 2017 2:08 am

Archie gives Hilts an update:

Quote:

Hello buddy, I am not sure yet of what they are saying, the Pastor said that I still have one more stage to go.

Its really getting boring and tiring with this membership shit.

But I have no option than to complete the process.

I will let you know once I am done with it.

Please be patience.

Hilts is supportive:

Quote:

Ok dude, you only got one more stage to go? That's good news! Sounds like it shouldn't take much longer.

I know these church morons are being goddam idiots and making you do some stupid shit to join, but just remember that you got the big fucking score waiting for you when we drain those church accounts. You gotta just power through and make sure you do the job rite, than we can make our millions! Stay strong buddy!

Oddly enough, he hasn't replied to Roger's repeated requests to send the rest of the Exodus scans. I'm not sure why he is delaying this. Mr L, has he sent you anything else? We can't move him to the next phase until he has submitted all of the images.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Nope. Archie is a goddamn bonehead. He wrote out all this nonsense and then he ignores us. It's kind of fascinating really. I even clicked the button he sent me to access the Google Drive account that he has uploaded all his writings but he never responded to it. Here are my last few emails to him:

Quote:

I pushed the button that says to request access but I'm not entirely sure how to open these scans.. I will ask young Susan to try and help me with this.

Have you had a chance to take the picture of yourself, with the writings, to show the Elders all of the hard work that you have done on Stage 2? They will be most happy to see it. Yes most happy.

Pastor Moses

Quote:

I have not received your completed writings my son.. Please, can you send all of the pages in the same manner that you sent me the 16 pages last week. This would help considerably.

I would like to move you on to the next stage so you can complete your membership fully. I know you are exited about it! Please send the remaining scans so we can move forward.

Pastor Moses

The way he ignores us for long stretches of time, yet still does all this work, makes me wonder if he has limited internet access? Still, no excuse why he would be writing to Hilts while ignoring Roger and Moses.

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 12:46 pm

Hilts slapped Archie yesterday to light a fire under his ass:

Quote:

Hey dude, what's the deal? Why do you keep going dark on me all the fucking time? I haven't heard a goddam thing from you in a couple of weeks now, and I'm starting to think your holding up on me.

Listen, that old fool Roger came into my bank just now and he said you haven't been talking to him or that idiot pastor of his for weeks neither. What the fuck is your problem? Why aren't you working the job properly? This shit should be fucking easy if you'll stop being a goddam dipshit.

Fix your attitude and get back at it, and let me know when you got something. I can't wait forever.

I guess it worked, because after more than a week incommunicado, suddenly Archie is sending me several emails with Exodus scans this morning. As I write this, he's sent me 8 emails over the course of 3 hours with 10-15 pages attached to each, and it looks like he has a long way to go. This must be wasting so much of his time. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 1:25 pm

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2015 Posts: 1942

What a great way to waste a lads time (twice). Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 3:42 pm

^ And he's still going. We're up to 17 emails over 6 hours. I think he's almost done, but it would amuse me even more if it took him all day to do this.

Mr L, are you getting these emails too?

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 4:02 pm

Muhahaha, poor Archie. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Yep, Moses just received about 160 scanned pages so far. All handwritten like those posted above.

I also quite amused that the subject line of the emails that he is sending me are titled: "Fwd: I am disappointed with you" Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:29 am

^ Ya, that is the subject line of the email I sent him in April when I was trying to cajole him into doing the devolution picture for me. He responded in the same thread, and that has been the subject line of all our correspondence since then. It amuses me too. Laughing

Roger will be pleased with Archie when he replies tomorrow.

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