From Burkina, with love! :) Now with NSFW Pics!

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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 1:07 pm

It's a funny story, which lasts 2 months and stretches over more than 200 messages.

- He (the lad) asked me for a nearly 6,000 euro "payment fee" for to share a half of one big legacy (28M US dollars).
- I did persuaded him to found a new cult. Me and him, together. With "my money", of course! Laughing

The new cult, a strange combination of a religious sect, an knightly warriors order and something esoteric mysteries, it was called MUIE.
- Officially, MUIE is an acronym referring to a holy lamb, eternity, the uniqueness and singularity of human people.
- Unofficially, in the roumanian slang, MUIE means blowjob. Laughing

One by one, along this story, I was a wealthy old man who wants to donate his fortune to the new strange congregation... I was a young driver, a real terrifyingly crook... I was also the old secretary of the congregation, gentle and full of goodwill... and, lastly, I was the biggest priest of the new culte, severe and ruthless. All, at the same time! Laughing

After 2 months of hard pressing, I succes managed to get our first parishioner picture: The picture that proves real faith! Laughing

Quote:

Dear Brother Eduard,

Here is a member picture saying ”I really want MUIE in my life!".

Now by tomorrow morning you go to your bank and do the payment then I will send you more and more of all you required.

Thanks with best
Mr. Adamaxxx

Unfortunately, the our story tragically ends. Laughing

1) Rich old man died suddenly, following by a severe car accident:

Quote:

I was just informed by our sister in faith Desdemonaxxx, which is a nurse working with Pitesti Memorial Hospital, that the young Armenian guy who was Eduardxxx's driver lost control of their old vehicle on the slippery roads of Bascov on Monday evening, crashing their vehicle into a parapet of a bridge. They were found unconscious several hours later by two locals and were transported to the hospital. The driver is recovering slowly from a head contusion, is still in hospital and will probably be ok. Nevertheless, with great sorrow I must bring terrible and unexpected news: Eduardxxx is no longer among us, God forgive his soul! Sister Desdemonaxxx briefly explained that Eduardxxx suffered a heart attack after the liver surgery and passed away despite all doctors efforts to save him. Perhaps it was the will of the Holy Lamb Itself that Eduardxxx should be in a better place, in Heaven, but we are in no place to judge the course of action the Divinity reserved for all and each of us!

2) The driver turns out to be a real villain and steal all the money:

Quote:

Listen to me!
Now, each of us take and grab whatever we can.
Do not think I'm gullible, like old stupid guys (my boss, Nectariexxx, Eufrosiexxx).
Your story with "lawyer fee" is just a bullshit!
To be very clear, that money is mine!
And they are not the last that I want to take them!

3) The Project Manager (the lad) abandons the "holy cause", overwhelmed by the demands of increasingly larger church: more and more adhesions, more pictures, land contracts, different approvals from the municipality, bills, legal agreements. A lot of work!

Quote:

You have to do everything by yourself

End of story! Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:38 am

Muié is also a Portuguese word for woman.

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:01 am

Portuguese creole? That's not how it's spelled in proper Portuguese.

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:18 pm

A new "parishioner" from Burkina, with his "membership application notes" and "photo witness of faith in our order". Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:22 pm

vonpaso xlura wrote:

Portuguese creole?

It's a rural dialect spoken in São Paulo.

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:17 pm

A new week, a new parishioner.
Burkina it's a country full of faithful people. Laughing

Original message, from which we started was:

Quote:

Dear Friend,
I am Mr.Tony Koon ; I got your address in Burkina Faso chamber of commerce through yahoo details. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ( 10 .7,000,000) Million Dollars fund which belongs to our deceased customer who died in A plane crash, Since the death of this our customer the money has been in our bank without claim. I want to release the money to you as the deceased NEXT OF KIN for the benefit of both of us. By indicating your interest I will send you the full details on how the business will be executed. I need to hear from you urgent so that I will give you more information
regarding this transaction.

Waiting for your urgent response so that we will starts immediately.
Thanks,
Mr.Tony Koon.

Me (as Father Eduard - from MUIE congregation): Laughing

Quote:

Hello Mr. Tony
What fund are you referring to?
This is the first I've heard about this, and I've never been to Burkina Faso.

Can you be a little more explicit, please?

Sincerely regards,
Eduard

Tony (the lad) - I think he is out of the script:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail ; my borther but you can help me in this business to get this money out for the bank.

thanks
Mr TONY

Me:

Quote:

Dear brother Tony,

We are a Christian Congregation, and we try to build many small churches in Africa's villages.
We seek trusted person with whom to collaborate and to help us there.
We support the project financially, but we need a Chief Operating Officer.
A local man, a man of the laws and who are willing to help us.
What city are you from?

God bless you!

The lad:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail, i understand want you i can help to get a land to build a church in my country here burkina faso west african , my good brother building small churches in africa it is good , but i contacted you to help me to get this fund for the bank as next of kin , with can been also use as a projest and for church

thanks

Mr TONY

Me:

Quote:

Mr. Tony

- First, you should say if you're a Christian. We are a Christian Congregation.
- Secondly, that we can work together, you must be a member of our church. No big deal, we can solve quickly, but is required.
We, as a Church, do business ONLY with those who are members of the MUIE congregation.
If you want to discuss more details, please tell me.

In the name of Holy Lamb!
+++father Eduard+++

The lad:

Quote:

thanks for you mail, what you sad is rigth, i am telling you that i and my family are Christians i was brone and barbtzer by Rev Father.my good friend i think am in the rigth hand.and i will help together we building the church here in my country . i will send you and application you will fill it and send it to the bank.

thanks

Me:

Quote:

Brother Tony

To be very clear... please, re-read carefully my previous message:

"Secondly, that we can work together, you must be a member of our church.
We, as a Church, do business ONLY with those who are members of the MUIE congregation."

That means we can not talk about any deal until you do not become a full member of our MUIE Church congregation.
If you are reade to become a full "brother in Faith" in our congregation, I will be happy to help you and to guide you.
It's not a big deal, we can quickly solve that question.

In the name of Holy Lamb!
+++father Eduard+++

The lad:

Quote:

Thanks foR your mail, my good brother i understand you now how can i be a member of the church .

thanks

Me:

Quote:

Brother Tony, good morning and bless you!

All steps are explained on the Church website, but I will advise you and I will help you with all necesarry.
I will send you two files:

1) Adhesion to our MUIE Church - it's a simple application form, it must be complete by hand - I can help you with translation, if you do not understand.

2) A "proof of Faith" picture - you must to hold in your hand a large cardboard, printed with the "sacred words" : I need MUIE, MUIE for me!

First, you must solve this 2 points. After that, we can discuss everything.

In the name of Holy Lamb, glorious be His name!
+++Eduard+++

Me, with Adhesion form "translation":

Quote:

Brother Tony, let me help you with translation of Adhesion form:

Adhesion translated form - MUIE church:

1) Nume si Prenume = full name and surname
2) Adresa = full address
3) Telefon (numai pentru Marii Preoti) = does not apply here because it relates just to the high priests
4) Recomandare = recommendation (It is about "who guarantees for who"... Me, Eduard - for you, Kylie ... You, Kylie - for anoher good people, etc)
5) Cum ati aflat de Sfanta noastra biserica = how you found our Holy Church (by recommendations, or from the internet, or from another person, from radio/TV, etc.)
6) Citatul preferat din Cartea Sfanta = favorite quote from the Holy Book
7) Descrieti pe scurt evenimentul care v-a apropiat de divinitate = in short, what you did to be faithful
8 ) Doresc remuneratie lunara? Da / Nu = I wish monthly remuneration? Yes / No (for YES option will be needed additional documents)
9) Enumerati primele 3 activitati de prioritate in cadrul MUIE = after becoming a member of the parish, which is your purpose of the future - 3 activities)
10) Subsemnatul ____ doresc sa devin membru al congregatiei bisericii "Mielului Unic - Independenta si Eterna" (MUIE) , doresc sa promovez Dreapta Cale a Credintei in cel puternic. Asa sa ma ajute Mielul Sfant! = Undersigned_______ wish to become a member of the congregation The singular church of unique and eternal lamb (MUIE) want to strongly promote the Right Path of Faith. Holy Lamb so help me!

Date / Signature
-------------------------------

1) Adhesion is the first step in to becoming a regular member of our MUIE congregation.

2) Second step, is the "proof of Faith" picture: You + a large paper written with "sacred words": I need MUIE, MUIE for me!
You also have a file jpg (like model), sended by me, with the "sacred words" & Holy Sign of Church... you must printed on a large cardboard, for the required picture.
The photo must be nice and clear, an must be done outside in the sun, to symbolize that you take the power of the Holy Lamb.

In the name of Holy Lamb, glorious be His name!
+++father Eduard+++

The lad... he send first "Adhesion" + next picture:

Quote:

Father Eduard.

i have fill the form and my picture to show that i want to be a full mrmber of the church and even want the church to bulid in my country here burkina faso werst africa.

thanks
In the name of Holy Lamb, glorious be His

Me... I send him the precedent parishioner picture. As a model. Laughing

Quote:

Good morning, brother Tony,

Your picture is not good, sorry.
Please, read careful my previous message:

2) Second step, is the "proof of Faith" picture: You + a large paper written with "sacred words": I need MUIE, MUIE for me!
You also have a file jpg (like model), sended by me, with the "sacred words" & Holy Sign of Church... you must printed on a large cardboard, for the required picture.
The photo must be nice and clear, an must be done outside in the sun, to symbolize that you take the power of the Holy Lamb.

- You must print the "sacred words" on the large paper.
- You must keep the "sacred words" in your hands, to be visible & clear.
- You must take the picture in exterior, outside... not in your house!

In the name of our glorious Holy Lamb, we are blessed!
+++father Eduard+++

Post scriptum: I'm sending you a photo-model made by a "brother in Faith" from Mozambique's church.

The lad:

Quote:

thanks Father i will do that i went to the hopital to see my sister, Father i need you to pray for her .

in some hours i will send the picture to you.

Me:

Quote:

Brother Tony,

I will pray for her soul, to be blessed.
We are a Christian Church, we believe in God.
God's Holy Lamb portrays Jesus as the Lamb of God!

The lad, sending the second picture: Laughing

Quote:

Father thanks for the hope you have given me ,here is the pictrue .

am waiting to haer for you

Me:

Quote:

Brother Tony,

Everything it's OK now... the new pictures are good.
Not super quality, but very usable! God job!

It's very good, for our start.
You forget to fullfill in section 9 of Adhesion:

9) Enumerati primele 3 activitati de prioritate in cadrul MUIE = after becoming a member of the parish, which is your purpose of the future - 3 activities)

You must have to write three (3) activities that do them as a member of the church ... for example:
a) You're going to kiss the Holy Lamb, right on his glorious head, every day of your life.
b) You'll only do good deeds with those around you, every day of your life.
c) You will pray daily, every day of your life.

Please, be nice and send me (your Adhesion) again. But, for this time, must be correctly written!

Today I'm gone to our headquarters in Curtea de Arges (to participate at Grand Council Meeting of the Church) and myself personally will bring your pictures there.
You can check that you have already been accepted as a member on our church website.

Now, as a new MUIE member, maybe it's time for you to already think about your neighbors.
If they also want to join the ranks of the church, then we can send more money at once.
Every new parishioner will be paid with the same sum of 1,200 euro social aid.
If you can manage to involve minim 15 people, then we already have a good basis for a new Church. There, in your city!
You can be named Local Reverend because you are our first parishioner in Burkina and you will be paid by a monthly salary (1,800 euro).
Please also note, all these things happen if you find that 15 parishioners nucleus with which we can start our new congregation.

In your new role, as our Local Reverend, if you want and if you consider yourself fairly faithful, then we can offer you the supreme rank in our Church: Gold Bishop.
This rank, Gold Bishop, is obtained only with pain and suffering ... but bring joy and light into the souls of our believers.
Gold Bishop must carry with him, on his skin, on his whole life, The Holy Church Sign.
I mean, you should be tattooed on your body. It's not easy!
Only a few bishops here have received this great distinction. None in Africa. Yet!

The quality of Gold Bishop gives you the power to establish yours own network of local MUIE congregation.
You will be the supreme Burkina leader, EL MUIE LIDER MAXIMO!
Funds allocated for construction of each new church is somewhere between 75,000-100,000 euro.

Anyway, for start, you can think to the real possibility to help your neighbors.
If you want to deal with construction of the new church, please tell me. You will be named also a new MUIE Church Project Manager.
It will not be easy and you need to dedicate yourself completely to this activity. But, I'm here and I can help you with this.

In the name of our Holy Lamb!
+++father Eduard+++

The lad:

Quote:

Father am help for the word that come for you , father in GOD work and to build a church here in my country it will cost time and money ,

I and my brother Emmanuel and my sister is now ok , thank you father for your hope and you bring a light in my family . father this month December will be good to get more members and it will cost us to rate a hull and print a card and go around to give people and now we will get more than 15 people we will host it like night prayer in a big hull and show the members that we care for them In the name of our Holy Lamb! Laughing

Father I have bring myself y full to serves the church and a full member of MUIE Church

Me... I introduced another character, a church secretary (Father Nectarie):

Quote:

Brother Tony, good afternoon!

- Let me introduce myself, I am Father Nectarie, General Secretary of the
MUIE holy congregation.
- IPS Eufrosie, our dear Cardinal, told me to get in touch with you and
determine all the steps needed for the new Church construction in Burkina
Faso.
- I take care of all the Church documents, so we'll work your way through
all the legal steps so that the Holy Lamb to rise in Burkina as was raised
here. Glory in His name!
- I'll be here in permanent contact with you for any problem in the
process of finalizing documents and construction. Also my old friend,
father Eduard, will be along you on all initial stages.

Be blessed in the name of the Holy Lamb!
Nectarie

The lad:

Quote:

Dear Father in faith .

thanks for assitaing me in MUIE member ,i will do all thing that regular membership
and my family .

i will send application.

----------------------------

Tommorow I expect the "new & correct" Adhesion... Also, he must complete a employment contract (12 pages with questions) + many other acts ... it's not easy to be Project Manager! Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2016 7:38 am

Ok, we have the "new & correct written" Adhesion. Laughing

The lad:

Quote:

Dear father Eduard.

thanks for your mail, i have fill tha application .

am awiting to here for you

Mr Tony koon

From me, "alias" Cardinal Eufrosie (High Prelat of MUIE).

Quote:

Blessing you, new brother!

I have always considered that prayers and hope are among the true essences of miracles. In the name of the Holy Lamb, my old eyes have witnessed a miracle today! My heart is full of joy since I found out that you proved loyalty and pro-activity to our cause! God bless you and your dearest ones!

Congratulations! My faith in you is established and I gave blessings to Eduard, as well as apologies for doubting him when most needed.

In terms of financial arrangements, please note that I will propose the booking for 500,000 Euro for the ongoing project in Burkina Faso (now is not new anymore, thanks to you, isn't it?) in our budgetary meeting on
this month. The Holy Secretary Nectarie finally finished its wandering at the sacred Athos Mountain and will be involved in day to day activities related to this project. You will probably be in contact soon. I will only
intervene where needed from now on.

I decided to also make available a monthly fee of 3,600 Euro (1,800+1,800) in advance for the operations manager in your country, in addition to the inherent expenses with lawyers and formalities. This amount will be paid as soon as you confirm which brother (or sister) will be in charge with operations there, there is no reason to delay. As you showed involvement and dedication, we would be glad should you be so kind to accept this double position (Local Reverend + Project Manager) and receive these funds. Just let me know your decision.

Eduard is so enthusiastic about this that he said that he will pay me a visit to personally discuss and get blessings. He confessed that you sent pictures and he forward them to me (by the way, we have updated our
website with the first pictures of our future brother in faith, please let me know whether you are OK with this or if you’d like to change anything in the appearance or to select any representative pictures for MUIE in
Burkina Faso, or to send other pictures to be present on the site. I told Eduard that we have enough time to celebrate, but you know Eduard by now – when he wants something badly, he has to have it right away… so, I guess he must be arriving any minute now. The weather is not good at all here, so maybe he is resting for a while (he usually makes several breaks for refreshments on the way).

Let’s pray together for this accomplishment and the Holy Lamb! Amen!

Looking forward to hearing from you soon,

IPS Eufrosie

Also from me, as father Nectarie (MUIE secretary) Laughing

Quote:

Dear brother in Faith, Tony,

Good morning and God bless you and your family!
We have two directions to follow:
1) Spiritual
2) Material

1) It is the church's parishioners, that you (in your new position: Local Reverend) have to be careful.
2) It is the construction of the church, that you (in your new position: Project Manager) are directly responsible.

Father Eduard and I will be beside you, but you will have to make an great effort.
Please think this through, because we do not play with words and with Faith in the Holy Lamb.

Be blessed!
parintele Nectarie

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:38 am

The lad, hopeful that The church will immediately make the payment:

Quote:

Blessing you, FATHER Eugen.

than ks for the goodwrod and am happy to join the (MUIE) chruch becaues i know that it will bring a new change in my family and my country burkina faso in west africa, i also thanks you all in (MUIE) chruch.

My good brother i know that it is not easy to do it alone, here in my country to i will do my best to get more members but i need financial like 500,000 Euro as you sad , i will use it to rate a hull and muise instrument and print a handbill or card
and invisit them in the (MUIE) chruch and i will also give to the poor.

i blevie in (MUIE) chruch In the name of our Holy Lamb! sinec Father Eduard give me prayer and hope that my sister is now out for the hoptail. i thanks you all one more.

am awiting to hear for you becues the year is runing out. you are bless chruch In the name of our Holy Lamb!

Mr Tony koon

Father Nectarie "dixit": A big pile of money requires a lot of effort! Laughing

Quote:

Dear brother in Faith, Tony,

Firstly, I'm father Nectarie (my religious name). Eugen is my old layman name, which I have not used for over 40 years. Please, remember that!
Secondly, I perfectly understand that you are now in position for doing the job. Right? OK, let's go further.

- As I already told you the other day, I'm a practical man and I rely on figures.
- I will propose you to start the discussion in practical manner, and we will jointly identify potential futures problems. I think you will agree.

We start from the basic things.
Look what we have to start:

1. Acceptance from your local religious authority - mandatory
2. Acceptance from your local municipal authority (mayor, council, etc.) - mandatory
- These steps are very simple, if we have the right man in the right place. It will be a "lawyer job".
- As Pontius Pilate said, "one hand washes the other one and both hands wash the face".
- We know how things work, everywhere in the world, so the lawyer (or person in charge of getting these authorizations) will have a budget of 2,000 euros / for each local approvals needed paper.

3. Identification of land that is suitable for construction - mandatory
- We need an open ground, freely building, somewhere at the intersection of roads. Area 1,000-1,500 square meters.
- The land must be identified and photographed in 4 directions (north, south, east, west), for our architect to can visualize the future construction plan.
- Minimum rental period will be 25 years, with automatic extension.
- The rent should not exceed 2,000 euro / month, paid in advance for a year.
- We need a preliminary agreement letter, to see and approve.

4. Identifying future parishioners base (minimum 15 persons) - mandatory
- We know that people are poor, so our role as a church is to help them and be their support.
- Each new parishioner will receives one single social assistance of 1,200 euros from enrolling in the MUIE Church.
- Subsequently, if the parishioners has a difficult social condition (many children, is unemployed, etc), social support remains in force.
- Adhesions must be completed by hand, in large letters (uppercase), by every parishioner. We will accept local language (we will translate us here in Romania).
- Each parishioner must confess his adherence to the Faith in the Holy Lamb through a suggestive photo with a written "sacred words" message to the Church.
- I saw the photos you've shared with you, as our first parishioner there. You have to admit the poor quality of those pictures.
- Photos should be taken out into the sunlight, and "sacred words" writing letter should be printed on a very visible cardboard.
- The Church logo must also be visible. You also have "the model" (I need MUIE! MUIE for me! Glory to the Holy Lamb!) that can be printed, there, on a big cardboard.

5. Identifying local reverend - Here we have the problem solved, you are appointed to this position.
- Reverend likely to be one of the parishioners, most devoted and best. It's your choice and your responsibility.
- He will have a salary of 1,800 euros / month, paid in advance for a year.
- He will sign a legal contract with the Church and will be "named" in a Holy special Ceremony.
- I will send you a prerequisite Questionnaire, for the Human Resources Church's Office. It's a few pages, don't worry.

6. Identification Project Manager - IPS Eufrosie instructed you to take care of this job. Congratulations!
- There are no doubts. IPS Eufrosie's proposal is for you to occupy this post remunerated with anothers 1,800 euros / monthly.
- This was also the desire of the father Eduard Vasilescu! He is very proud of you!

7. Identifying a law firm - who can represent the Church in all legally manner.
- I understand you already working with a law firm. It is clear and we have nothing to change this.
- Nearly 4,500 euro fee is pre-approved and will be paid in full.
- I hope that covers at least part of the first phase of construction (land acts, all local approvals, etc).
- Later, after the Church is fully functional, we will negotiate a contract for annual legal representation.

So, depending on the results that you send me, I will propose the first December payment of all such sums:
2,000x2 = 4.000 - for obtaining the two (2) statutory approvals: civil authority & religious authority
2,000x12 = 24,000 - for annual rental land (where the Church it will be rised)
1,200x15 = 18,000 - first social aid for our new parishioners
1,800x12 = 21,600 - for Local Reverend annual salary
1,800x12 = 21,600 - for Project Manager annual salary
4,500 = 4,500 - for attorney fee (The Lawyers firm)
==================
TOTAL amount = 93,700 euro

- Our local lawyer must prepare a Legal Agreement and an itemized bill (Invoice) by ALL this services categories.
- Until December 30 (at monthly meeting) I want to have concrete results from all the above points.
- Until December 30 I want to see all these things, sent to me so that they can subject to the approval of IPS Cardinal Eufrosie.

Be blessed in the name of the Holy Lamb!
parintele Nectarie

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 9:42 pm

Tony, our "local Reverend" bring new followers to the MUIE creed.
He took his mission "seriously", and started looking for new church parishioners. Laughing

Quote:

Thanks Father Eduard

And thank you agina for your prayer Father, i will try to see that i will list all this things and send it the cost of all , Father but i think it step by step.

i have a new memeber Mr Mark soso. Laughing

Be blessed in the name of the Holy Lamb!

Mr Tony koon

I suggested him to learn a religious song and to register, along with all the "new parishioners". Laughing

Quote:

Tony, my brother in Faith,

I'm glad your sister is healthy, so I'll mention her in my daily prayers. Also you.
I am convinced that this small amount of money (500euro) does not represent any problem for you, so grab your job.
His Excellency Eufrosie will enjoy very much when will see the video and pictures with the crowd that glorifies the Holy Lamb. I can assure you!

Father Nectarie was talking to me the other day and said that IPS Eufrosie has approved a budget of half a million for the church, of which almost 100,000 euro discuss only for the first consolidated payment. It's true? It means that you have made a very good impression! Bravo, congratulations!
You have to watch the way you present yourself, because Nectarie is "man of figures" and he did not impress at all sentimental. Be careful!

It's true, if you can manage to win it Eufrosie on your side, then you do not have any problems.
Maybe with the recorded "sacred song" singed by you and your familiy. Laughing

But, for the same time, please not forget the other aspects of the construction site of the new church:
Have you already talked with builders? You have some proposal construction cost from them?
You identified the land? You ask for a copy of the lease contract?
You spoke for building materials? Cement, bricks, iron, etcaetera.
And transport costs?

All this costs a lot, and the church need to know exactly what spending money.
You need to be a very efficient & organizational men and must present all preliminary paperwork: contracts, invoices, credentials, licenses and much more.

In the name of Holy Lamb!
+++father Eduard+++

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 7:22 am

The story it has not finished.
I pretended that I received a strange message from someone unknown, who reminded him (by Tony, our "local reverend"). Laughing

Quote:

Tony, what do you mean by this frightening job?
How come you do not know them those two people: Mr. Komi Zongo and Mr. Ahmed Tanimo?

- Where they have my email address?
- Where they knew your name?

I'm scared, in real mode!
Be blessed!
Father Eduard

His answers are funny:

Quote:

Dear Father

am sorry do not belive this two man,this names look like muslim name. i do not know them this is the cyber cafe when i go and write to you the place is a gernler place i need a pravite lapto to gard this chruch job. i am wroking on the building Materials and the land for the church i have send the cost of all to Father Nectarie so i will do my church job to see that everything goes fine.

You are bless.

Tony also advises me not to do business with strangers in Burkina. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Father Eduard

thank you very much for your message , thoes two men i do not know them . Father do not do any bunsiness with any body in burkina faso untill the church is build, i will send you the cost of the land and materials .

YOU ARE BLESS

We are working on a list of building materials for the new church. Laughing

Tony gives his full attention, and send a preliminary "list of things":

Quote:

Frist the hall rent : 80.0000 FCFA per month in Euro 125 Euro
We will pay for 1year 80.0000 times 12mnoths : 960 total in 1,500 Euro
To buy charis and music instrument 2.500 Euro
And mobailz tion and agent fee and workers and card or renting of flyers to invite members : 500 Euro

Total : 4,500 Euro

THE land and Building Materials

A good land in good position that is 400 meters

The land prices : 25.000.000 million FCFA IN Euro 38.000
Building Materials : cements 400 buys each buy 3,500 FCFA in Euro 6 Euro total : 240000 Euro
Irons and woods : 3,5000 Euro
Sand and granet : 5,000 Euro
Water supply : 3,000 Euro
Workers payment: 5,000 Euro
Total : 760000 Euro

But Father Nectarie is never satisfied. Laughing

Quote:

Tony, my dear brother in Faith,

Let's see and discuss:

- Hall rent 125 x 12 = 1500 euro / year = OK!
- Charis and music = 2,500 euro = OK!
- Others smallers = 500 euro = OK!
- Land = 38,000 euro ... what is this? Price for buying? If YES = OK!
- Cements = 240,000 euro... NO!!! here is something wrong!!!
- Irons & woods = is 3,500 or 35,000 euro ???
- Sand and granet = 5,000 euro = OK!
- Water supply = 3,000 euro = OK!
- Workers payment = 5,000 euro = OK!

TOTAL = 760,000 euro = from what ???

parintele Nectarie

The "new" list, from Tony:

Quote:

Dear Father,

this is the (MUIE) church building.

Let's see and discuss:

- Hall rent 125 x 12 = 1,500 euro / year = OK!
- Charis and music = 2,500 euro = OK!
- Others smallers = 500 euro = OK!

total ; 4,500 euro

--------------------------------------------------------------------
- Land = 38,000 euro ... Price for buying? If YES = OK!
- Cements = 24,000 euro... ok
- Irons & woods = is 3,500 euro ok
- Sand and granet = 5,000 euro = OK!
- Water supply = 3,000 euro = OK!
- Workers payment = 5,000 euro = OK!

TOTAL = 95,500 euro

Already is much better, we are approaching pre-approved budget.
Church Secretary, father Nectarie is happy... Of course, we need some pictures of "land supposed to be the place for new construction buiding" Laughing

Quote:

Tony, good morning brother!

- It seems that your list is approaching to IPS Eufrosie pre-approved
budget limit. Okay, it's okay!
- Don't forget, I need 4 photos of Land: north, south, east and west. For
our church architect who is in charge to designs the plans.

parintele Nectarie

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:27 am

I was away on a 2 weeks vacation, so I needed a reason for "my long silence."
I invoked the death of the Head of our church, the supreme leader (EL GRANDE MUIE LIDER MAXIMO). Laughing

Quote:

Dear Tony,

Last night HE left us, to pray with angels, our great Bishop Gherasim (the Supreme Leader of MUIE, "El Grande MUIE Lider Maximo").
It is a terrible tragedy for all those who are part of the big MUIE family.
Venerable Cardinal Eufrosie declared a mourning period of 14 days (until December 29).
At this time, we do not talk to anyone and we only pray unceasingly for the salvation of soul who looong passed away.

Not to worry about this period of silence, is normal when one of Church leaders dies .
You will have more time for you, you will have more time to achieve 100% of your goals. You have to keep your job.

Please keep us (me and father Nectarie) permanently updated with your works about new development in Burkina.
Even if we can not communicate with you, we will read your posts and we will pray for you.

We're talking over 14 days! Just be blessed!

In the innocent eyes of our Holy Lamb, we believe!
father Eduard

During this time, Tony sent drawings for the proposed construction of the new church land.

Quote:

Goodmorning Father.

Hope you are fine over there , i wise you happy Christmas and happy new year long life.
Father I have send the land that are for sale , the agent told me that he will take me around with you or if the money is ready to buy the land , the dounment that I send the one that mark good or forsale are the one for church.

What about renting hall and orders.

Am sorry for one of our member the Supreme Leader of MUIE that have gone my his soul rest in peace Amen.
You are bless in the holy lamb.
Mr Tony koon

Also, Tony convinced another friend of him to join the ranks of local parishioners. Laughing

Quote:

Father Eduard

happy chritmass Father , hope you are fine, i have one
new memeber his name is Jason.

you are bless in the holy lamb.

Mr Tony koon

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 8:03 am

Because Tony (the lad = as Local Reverend) has not fulfilled all obligations (requested by father Nectarie - Church secretary - on 08 december Laughing

) it was not approved any payment to the Holy monthly Meeting of the Church. Laughing

In this bait, I play with 3 roles:
- father Eduard (one of the great sponsor of the Church)
- father Nectarie (the Church secretary)
- cardinal Eufrosie (Administrative Cardinal... "cappo di tutti capi") Laughing

father Eduard (sponsor), to Tony (the lad):

Quote:

Brother Tony, what's the real situation?
It is true all that I hear about you?

At the yesterday monthly meeting, father Pafnutie (1'st Assistant of father Nectarie) presented us the following situation (which concern your job, as Local Reverend and MUIE Project Manager):

1. Acceptance from your local religious authority - NO papers, NO documents!!!
2. Acceptance from your local municipal authority (mayor, council, etc.) - NO papers, NO documents!!!
3. Identification of land that is suitable for construction - NO photos, NO sales precontract!!!
4. Identifying future parishioners base (minimum 15 persons) - Just 3 (three) parishioners!!!
5. Identifying local reverend - YES
6. Identification Project Manager - YES
7. Identifying a law firm - who can represent the Church in all legally manner - NO papers, NO documents!!!

Please tell me why did you not listen my advice???
You know what I mean: "a videoclip with the Holy Lamb song"???

IF you listen to me, an IF you send the song registration, IPS Eufrosie would approve the payments with "his eyes closed".

In the name of Holy Lamb, be blessed!
+++Father Eduard+++

As a result, Tony realized that big money (100,000 euros) will not pay any this month ... so he dropped his claims. Laughing

- He said that mother of one new parishioner (Mark Soso) is died.
- He sent me a bill from the hospital. Laughing

Quote:

Goodmorning Father and happy new year.

hope you are fine, this morning our memeber Mr Mark soso morther die this monrning
in the hoptail and mark ask me for help to pay the hoptail bills i have give the
litter one i have , Father i will like us to help Mr Mark .

You are bless in the holy lamb

Confidentially, I've told him he can receive some money (even if he does not fulfill all) with one single condition: to register while singing a hymn Laughing

... and send registration to our Great Cardinal Eufrosie. Laughing

father Eduard (sponsor), to Tony:

Quote:

Tony, my brother, listen to me!

IPS Eufrosie, our venerable Cardinal, NOT need the simple messages!!!... only a video record, with you and other brothers in Faith, singing his favorite song would be helpful in terms of your situation.

If you want some money, BEFORE your commitments will be 100% completed, you MUST obtain a "special aproval" of IPS Cardinal Eufrosie!!!
BE smart and SEND him one videoclip with you and rest of brothers singing "Lamb of God"!!!
You can record with your personal phone, because the gesture is more important than recording quality.

Our Cardinal will be delighted to see you singing, so it will unlock all payments to Burkina subsidiary (even if you have not fulfilled all conditions).
+++father Eduard+++

Tony (the lad), to father Eduard:

Quote:

Father Thanks for your advice , i will do that but my phone is not good i will look for a good phone and recorde it .

You are bless.

Mr Tony koon

father Nectarie (Church secretary), to Tony:

Quote:

A happy new year and good morning, my brother Tony!

I was sick, I had a severe cold that keep me in my bed for a few days.
I saw the Invoice from Mr. Mark mother and I will try to speak with IPS
Eufrosie to approve this special payment.

BUT, for make the payment, we need "ORIGINAL INVOICE":
- it means the paper from hospital, with all medical headers and doctor's
signature "in original".
- you have to ask Mark, for the "original" paper (not a scanned one, not a
photocopy). You understand "original" word?
- you must send us this papers, with one regular postal service (or, if
you want to hurry, with a rapid postal courier like DHL).

We need, also, the complete details for Mark Soso bank account:

ACCOUNT HOLDER NAME:
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
BANK SWIFT CODE:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
Code to Reference the bank branch (SORT CODE/ROUTING NUMBER/IBAN/SWIFT):
INTERNATIONAL REFFERENCE (CORESPONDENCE) BANK:

Be blessed!
parintele Nectarie

As result, I have received one little pig... his bank account. Laughing

Tony, to father Nectarie (church secretary):

Quote:

Goodday Father and happy new year.

Father this year 2017 God will renew your strigth and power, you will live long you.

Father sorry for late reply i am with Mr Mark here in my country is a franch
country, i told Mr Mark to let the know that is will be in english so you can
understand it and the Doctors signature is there , Father try to understand here is
not shame your country is orgnisat but africa here is differ , i am trying to help
our member we should help our borther inneed . Mr Mark our borther want to sale his
only land to pay the hospital bills but i told him that the church want to help him.

and i ask Mr Mark the medical paper from hospital he sad that the day her morther
die he lost the papers and the papers are many all he know that he is owning the
hospital 800ERO THAT IS THE photocopy OF THE BILLS.

Father i pleaed on behafl of Mr Mark to show marcey for he is form poor family and
he have know bank account this account is the doctor account and we told him that
the church will send money in that account.

Bank Account

ACCOUNT HOLDER NAME: BOUBACARxxxx AYOUBAxxxx

BANK NAME: BANK OF AFRICA

BANK ADDRESS : 770.AV.DU PDTA.SANGOULE LAMISANA 01 BP OUAGADOUGOU 01 BURKINA FASO

ACCOUNT NUMBER: 0866xxx7730xxx004

YOU ARE BLESS.
Mr Tony koon

Of course, we are human people and we understand the sad situation on the bill lost... no problem!
But, we still need a copy stamped and signed by a doctor, headed by the hospital details ... that copy must be sent by regular mail (or by DHL). I'm right? Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:01 am

Needs to be dated as well.

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:10 am

Yes, of course, it must be dated... stamped by doctor's stamp... signed by his doctor's hand... translated into romanian language... legalisated... notarizated.
A lot of work, I'm sure! Laughing

Tony (the lad) to father Eduard (sponsor of the Church):

Quote:

Goodmorning Father.

am sorry for late reply , i am in contact with Father IPS Eufrosie and Father Eugen Nectarie they are trying to help Mr Mark to send the money to him .

Father i thank you very much for your goodheart and you are a good man of God , Mr Mark say thanks to you .

You are bless

Mr Tony koon.

father Eduard to Tony:

Quote:

Be blessed, Tony!
I am convinced that our brother Mark will be helped. I don't have any doubt! Laughing

For us, as Christian people, it's a duty of honor to help another brother in Faith.
Of course, you have to send all the necessary details for payment.
Banks are very demanding, with the required documents. Papers, translations, notarizations, etcaetera.

Please, I forgot to say. Send me another picture for new member Jason.
Father Nectarie told me that the previous picture is not good, because it's not taken ouside, in the light of the sun. Also, we need one fullfil Adhesion for Jason.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow and always, glorified be His Holy name!
Remain Blessed!
father Eduard

Tony to father Nectarie (secretary of the Church):

Quote:

Goodmonrning Father.

Father thank for your understanding i am help for Mr Mark and he say thank you for that you are a good man of God.

ACCOUNT HOLDER NAME: BOUBACARxxx AYOUBAxxx
BANK NAME: BANK OF AFRICA
BANK ADDRESS: 770.AV.DU PDTA.SANGOULE LAMISANA 01 BP OUAGADOUGOU 01 BURKINA FASO
BANK SWIFT CODE: 42
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 0866xxx7730xxx004

you are bless.
Mr Tony koon

father Nectarie to Tony:

Quote:

Good morning, brother Tony!

- Ok, I understand... we will ask to the bank for the possibility to pay without having the original invoice.
- I am convinced that resolves everything well. Do not worry! Laughing

- Please send me a new picture of our new member Jason, a picture taken outside (not in interior room!)... plus his complete form or Adhesion. Laughing

- However, Mark has to go to his bank and ask all those details that I already told you:

ACCOUNT HOLDER NAME:
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
BANK SWIFT CODE:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
Code to Reference the bank branch (SORT CODE/ROUTING NUMBER/IBAN/SWIFT):
INTERNATIONAL REFFERENCE (CORESPONDENCE) BANK:

I pray for you,
parintele Nectarie
(MUIE)

Cardinal Eufrosie to Tony:

Quote:

Be blessed Tony Koon, you and your humble sheeps!

Tony, it's no need to spend any money on a new phone, it is enough to ask a friend to shoot with his phone.
I do hope to play all three: you, Mark and Jason, right?

Waiting for your song registration with all my soul! Laughing

In the sacred name of Holy Lamb, be blessed!
IPS Eufrosie

Tony to Cardinal Eufrosie:

Quote:

Goodmorning Father.

Father thanks for your understanding, i will do as you sad.

You are bless

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:37 am

I'm still laughing about the hospital bill from "De-Best Hospital".

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:41 am

^ Was just laughing at that too!

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 7:10 am

A good day start with a perfect morning, right? Very Happy

Our Local Reverend, Tony "the lad" Very Happy

, works and is concerned with the increasing number of parishioners of his parish. Laughing

- he sent a "new and good" picture of one previous parishioner.
- he sent a picture with a "new" parishioner.
- he sent also the "Adhesion to the Faith" form. Laughing

Quote:

Goodday Father.

i have a new member he name is Mr martins chima and new picture to Jason and he will fill the form to send to you.

do you recevied the account.

You are bless.

Mr TONY KOON

Father Nectarie (the church secretary) make his final remarks on possibility to make payment WITHOUT "original" bill. Laughing

Quote:

Tony, brother in Faith, good morning!

My assistant (father Pafnutie) was at the bank and spoke with Officer of Church account.
Lost bill is not an insurmountable obstacle and we found understanding from the bank. Mark will be helped, it's a good thing!
We can explained all the situation and got these special details that we can pay:
- you must go to the Hospital, with a photocopy from the Bill.
- you have to put the doctor's stamp and the doctor's original signature on the photocopy of bill.
- the bill must also have a valid date.

After that, you must send me the paper (photocopy of the bill must contain: doctor's signature + doctor's stamp + valid date) with any regular mail service or by one rapide courier (DHL like).

When I have the paper in my hand, I must go to a Public Notary office for make a roumanian translation (from english) + legalization. With this translated and legalized bill we can go to the bank and make payment
without any problems.

You clearly understand all what you have to do?

In the name of our sacred Holy Lamb, be blessed!
parintele Nectarie

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 6:44 pm

Tony worked hard today to "make" the new bill. Very Happy

If we watch to type of letters, it appears to be the same man who writes "adhesions". Laughing

Tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, I'll remind her that "the document" must send by regular service mail. For notarization / legalization. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 7:43 pm

Great receipt. I especially like the little white areas near the top showing the rectangle where DE BEST etc was pasted onto the invoice form. But even more, the "sample" labels on the official stamp. And I am utterly confused how the numbers add up.
In other words, perfect example of lad form.
But never mind the forms, I am waiting for a song!

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:53 am

Yeah, this Invoice is a "state of the art" in the invoices world! Laughing

I also remark the name of the country: Burinka Faso!

Anyway, Tony is very sad:

Quote:

GoodDay Father

how do your feel Father i hop you are fine.

Father i love to help my borthers and sister , Father do you belive that my boss asck my in the office becaues of not being in job for two days when i try to help Mr MARK SOSO to get money for the hospital bills , now i have know job i try to bag my boss but he colud not listing to me. Father pls help mr mark to get the money for my side i have noting again to help him. i want to send a vioe record to Father.

You are bless.
Mr Tony Koon

Of course, father Nectarie want to solve the problem: Laughing

Quote:

Dear Tony, brother in Faith, good morning!

- I receive your previous message and I think everything will be perfect with the hospital Invoice. Now, you have to send the Invoice at me:

Attention to father Nectarie / Biserica Mielului Unic - Independenta si Eterna (MUIE)
Street: Corbenilor,
Number: 117,
City: Curtea de Arges,
Postal Code: 115300,
Country: Romania

- When I have the Invoice in my hand, I send it (with father Pafnutie) to the Public Notary's office. For roumanian translation and notary stamp legalization.
- It's a easy procedure, required by the bank (Bank makes no payment without a compulsory set of documents attesting to the original source of the money, their origin, the final recipient and the purpose of payment)... you know what I mean it's anti-terrorism and money laundering rules.
- Also, please send me a copy of doctor's Ayouba ID card (because the money is paid into the doctor's account, the bank request a copy of his document of identity).
- About the problem with your boss, please give me his email address. I am going to speak to him personally and to explain the importance of the work of the Lord and plead for you. It is not normal to behave in this way with a sacred representative of the Holy Lamb! Laughing

Be blessed,
parintele Nectarie

On the other hand, father Eduard is worried about another strange message:

Quote:

Tony, look at this message:

ATTENTION:
THIS IS TO BRING THIS URGENT NOTICE TO YOU LISTEN VERY ATTENTIVELY THIS TOTAL AMOUNT OF ($300,000.00) INSTALLED INTO AN INETR-SWITCH CARD WAS DEPOSITED TO US BY MRS. JEAN MARIE HOLANDI, FROM FRANCE ON BEHALF OF LATE MRS. MERLINE WILLIAMS, YOU ARE HEREBY BEEN ADVISED TO COME DOWN HERE IN BURKINA FASO AND CLAIM IT OR IF YOU WANT US TO SEND IT TO YOU, WE TELL YOU ON WHAT TO DO TO ENABLE US SEND IT TO YOU, YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSES IS NEEDED, BECAUSE TODAY IS 5TH JANUARY 2017 AND WE WANT YOU TO RECEIVE IT BEFORE OR LATEST 15TH JANUARY 2017.

REGARDS,
MR. GOODNESS J. BARLY.
SECRETARY, FIREMAN'S FUND INSURANCE COMPANY (FFIC).

What is this???

Be blessed,
father Eduard

Tony, to the father Eduard: Laughing

Quote:

GoodDay Father

i told you pls there are bad poepl on the earth this is one of them do not reply this massage.

i try to get the vioec record to Father,
Father i have lost my job my boss asck me becuaes i try to help Mr MARK to see the doctor to the paper like the church say love your borthers and sister.

You are bless.

Mr Tony koon

Perhaps, finally, we'll have the joy of listening to a hymn singed by "reverend" Tony. I will keep you in touch with this. Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 8:35 am

Burinka Faso is De Best Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 8:42 am

Surely it is! Very Happy

Especially if I can succesfuly manage to obtain a beautiful registration with the african congregation singing... Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:03 am

^ In Romanian, of course - wait - you didn't tell them that the hymn had to be in Romanian? Damn!

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:09 am

Let them sing the famous "I Go Chop Your Dollar" Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:15 am

In the sacred name of Holy Lamb, amen!
Hallelujah! Laughing

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