The Montana Scourge is back! Ninjas needed for Massbait!

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Okay, you don't HAVE to be a Ninja, but that is what I am starting him out on.

For some background, see this thread

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=256364&highlight=whoops

Occasionally I like to check in with a lad I haven't heard from in awhile. Imagine my surprise when I heard back from this lad.

This was probably my favorite bait I have ever been a part of. Not only was it the introduction of Feathers (I think) but it also had a high speed chase of JG by the Snorkys, a shootout at Seaworld that left many dead, Necrophilia, the lad sending people to South America to find a Western Union not under the control of the Snorkys and poor JG, confused and giving blowjobs at below market rate in a country where they only speak FRANCE! Fun times. I'm looking for Ninjas to get this massbait started. Basically my character consults his sensei, Master Raat, for all important decisions. The sensei is not the most ethical character, and after doing a bit of research discovers that the state of Montana has our lad on it's most wanted list (read the thread) and is willing to partner 50/50 with the lad in return for sending members of the dojo the lads way. If interested shoot me a pm and let me know about your character and how you want the lad to try and scam you. I do ask that you be a member of my Montana dojo (at least for starts) and that you feel the need to clear things with your sensei Master Ratt (me) before you send any money.

This lad is a blast to bait. To say he is as dumb as a box of rocks would be an insult to the rocks.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Here are our emails so far. My character has severe OCD that is reflected in his name

Quote:

hello are you still
in the business of funding
dreams i sure hope so

Quote:

yes

Quote:

what do i need to
do to get a loan from you
I need money quick

My son is in jail
They say he murdered his wife
He is innocent

I need a million
dollars to bail him out and
to hire lawyers

Please get back to me
This is very important
He can't be in jail

Quote:

Hello Haiku

How are you doing sorry delay in reply OK

Fill out the loan form below
Name:........................
Country:....................
Amount:....................
State:............................
Phone number:...................
Home Address:................
Office Address:.................
Your swift reply is need now

Regards

Quote:

Where did you go to?
You really hurt my feelings
Don't do that again

I thought you were dead
Since you did not answer me
That is bad business

For all that you did
You need to apologize
Do you understand?

Quote:

Hello haiku
I'm very sorry for the delay in reply OK please accept my apology OK!

Fill out the loan form I sent for you I'm waiting
Name:
Country:
Amount:
Phone number:
Home address:
Office address:
Office phone number:

Regards

Quote:

I must check with my
Sensei before going on
Sensei knows the best

If Sensei approves
I will give you what you need
Do you understand?

Quote:

Hello Haiku
How are you doing? i want you to know that the information needed its for the Company to successfully Transfer your Loan to you Okay

What do you mean by sensei?? Get the Bank details ready so that we can proceed immediately on the transfer Okay

Are you on WhatAPPS??

He really seems to be into WhatAPPS

Quote:

Sensei guides all my
decisions. He is very
wise and knows it all

I consult with him
For all of my life choices
He will steer me straight

Quote:

Hello haiku

Do you understand the term and conditions of your loan and the calculation?

Your swift reply is need so that we can fully processed your loan OK

Quote:

I spoke with Sensei
He said he must meditate
He will let me know

Sensei is very
Smart and knows the ways of the
World. I follow him

Quote:

Ok
I'm waiting for your reply now once he spoke back to you

Update me

Quote:

Sensei is waiting
on sign from the Great Spirit
in the Sky okay?

Where Sensei leads I
will follow Sensei is my
life I'd die for him

I know, boring so far. Sensei Ratt emails him

Quote:

Hello my brother. I am Master Raat, the sensei of young Bobby Haiku. Young Bobby came to me last night concerning a business deal between the two of you.

My brother, when I checked with my friend at the police department he knew exactly who you were. When I said Roberto finance his eyes lit up, and he said that the Montana police have been after you for a long time. He said you were wanted for murder and for being the head of a criminal gang known as the Smithy Boys. Don't worry brother, I didn't narc on you. Hell, I'm rather impressed, and I have a business proposition to make to you.

You see brother, I have been toiling here for far too long. I have rich people, both young and old, coming to me every day, wanting me to teach them fucking kung fu. So I pretend like I am some wise man and lots of other bullshit and they leave my dojo thinking that I am smart, and that they must consult me for all major decisions in their life. That is why young Bobby came to be. If I tell him to go forwards with the loan he will. If I tell him to cancel it he will. All of the members of my dojo are like that. But they are greedy. They do not like to part with their money if they don't have to. That is where you come in.

I figure a guy who is the head of an organization like the Smithy Boys is pretty damn good. I have the names of rich people, brother. Rich, stupid people just waiting for a smooth operator like you to come along and take them for all they have. All I want is a 50/50 split. I give you the names, you work your magic, and we split the money.

So are we brothers?

A light starts to go on. To Haiku

Quote:

Ok I'm waiting bobby

Which state are you from??

Regards

Quote:

I am from the state
of confusion but then I
found my nirvana

Quote:

What I Mean is are you from Florida, New Mexico, or New York City

Regards

Quote:

I am from the Earth
The Earth is from me. We are
one with the Cosmos

Sensei Raat has not heard back from the lad and is not happy

Quote:

Brother

Bobby Haiku just left my dojo. I did not hear from you so I told him that after consulting the tea leaves they advised me that he should NOT do business with you. Brother, I do not think you realize what we can do here. We can both be RICH beyond our wildest dreams, but only if we work together. Partners. I give you GOOD names and you teach me what you know. These rubes hang on every word that I say. If I say JUMP they say YES SENSEI RATT HOW HIGH? I think a 50/50 split is a good deal for the both of us. Think it over okay? I will tell Bobby Haiku that I will consult the tea leaves again to see if the sensei's of old change their mind, but I cannot do that if we are not partners. Understand?

He finally responds to Raat

Quote:

Hello Raat
I agree with the 50/50 OK we both share together OK tell Bobby that I'm real then will share together that is what I told you before Yes let both of us work together just between you and I OK.

Regards

Quote:

Brother we are gong to be so fucking rich. What is the first thing you are going to buy? I think I'm gonna go to the strip club handing out hundred dollar bills and watch the whores fight each other to blow me.

So how do you think we should go forward? I don't think all my rubes will want a loan. We might have to come up with another angle.

Power!

I stole "Power" from another baiter.

He has not responded to Raat, so I send him a couple more

Quote:

Hello my brother

I got to thinking, and we need to figure out how we are going to do this. How do you normally get your money from the rubes? We are talking big dollars here, so either you can get it and cut me in for my half or I can collect the money and cut you in. What do you think? Also, let's come up with some different scams to pull on the rubes. Like I said, they all won't want loans. What other types of scams can we pull? You are the expert so I will defer to your judgement. I don't want to pussy around with fucking pennies and dimes here. Let's go for the big score, okay? Brother, we are going to score big but we need to be careful. No phone calls, as the Feds can trace phone records. Do everything through email, okay? My cousin Vinnie built me a computer that erases the hard drive if I don't log in every day. That way my computer records are safe. He can build you one as well, but these things aren't cheap okay?

Brother, I want you to know that if we do this the right way there will be some expenses I will need to cover. Bribes will need to be paid. I can make your Montana arrest record vanish but it won't be cheap. I am willing to pay for that but I think we should share those costs okay? Let's take the expenses out before we split the money. 50/50 right? If you are okay with that I will start checking to see how much it will cost to make Roberto Smith vanish from the Montana police files.

My brother we are both going to be fucking rich. These rubes will be easy for someone with your talents!

Later my brother!

and

Quote:

Dude what the fuck? Bobby Haiku is in my dojo right now wanting to know what the tea leaves say. Until I hear from you and we cement our partnership I ain't telling him to do shit. Please tell me that you aren't planning to take Haiku's money and cut me out.

I have a feeling this partnership is not going to work out well. Lad to Haiku

Quote:

Ok bobby
Have you hear from your sensri??

Quote:

I will go visit
sensi today and see what
the tea leaves told him

If sensei says the
leaves look favorably on
this we can proceed

If the leaves do not
I cannot continue on
It's up to leaves now

Quote:

Ok go now and get back to me

God bless you

Quote:

Hello Mr. Smith
Just returned from the dojo
The leaves say to wait

Master Raat read the
leaves. They were not very kind
Leaves know everything

Leaves could change their mind
Master Raat says to check back
tomorrow and see

If he's not going to respond to Raat then Raat will not approve the deal.

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 2:26 am

^ I've also been baiting this lad again of late. He was a jerk and left me a week short of a sandtimer in February. In June, he contacted me again out of the blue from his Rev Jonathan persona, with this email:

Quote:

Hello

I'm not fine

Bye

What a wordsmith, right?

Here is a rundown of how the bait has gone in the last 3 months: Jonathan claimed he had been in the hospital for 4 months after a car accident. He asked for $5000 to help pay his hospital bill, without which he claimed he couldn't be released from the hospital. Roger asked for the hospital bill, and was sent a document, but was told by Mr Hilts that it was fake and that Jonathan was a scammer, and therefore refused to pay. Hilts did that because he was furious that the lad had suddenly gone dark on him 4 months previously, screwing up the scam on Roger that they had agreed to work together.

Stymied from that angle, the lad changed tack. He asked Roger if he had WhatsApp, and when Roger (who is hopeless with technology) asked him what that is, Jonathan tried to charge him $1000 for the (free) software and offered to help him download it!

Roger didn't understand any of his technical advice, so Jonathan wanted to get in touch by phone. I gave him the bogus number I usually do, while he gave me a number which I immediately phone chained by sending it to 200 other lads. We played "phone tag" for a couple weeks, with him unable to reach me on a phone company testing line, and me making no attempt to reach him but telling him his number was not working.

Then he tried to have Roger send the money by MG to a mule. Naturally, Roger didn't get the payment slip and didn't know the reference number, then discovered that his money was stolen by an unscrupulous clerk. The lad asked Roger to go to several different MG offices but Roger refused to go back to that "criminal company", getting angrier each time Jonathan suggested it. The lad also suggested RIA, but there are none in Jacksonville. Finally, he gave me a bank account a few days ago, which I have reported. That's where it stands now.

Roger will go to Mr Hilts tomorrow trying to send the money, only to be told to ask Jonathan to email Hilts.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I am convinced that if all the idiots in the world were to gather in one place this guy would be elected their King. Provided, of course, that the Florida idiots could figure out how to work the ballot.

He has pretty much ignored the Sensei, save for this one message

Quote:

Hello Dude no I will cut you out OK! Now the plan is this tell haiku that the deed is real that when he want to pay for anything in regards the Transaction he should bring the money to your dojo for you to send it for me that is what your tea leaves say from there you take your share and send me mine OK

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation

I don't think so

Quote:

Fuck no! I don't want my hands dirty in all of this. And you can't cut me out. Think of me as a light switch. I say no and this all goes to shit okay? Do you have a bank account you use? If not I can get my cousin Vinnie to set us up with one that can't be traced. I ain't touching the money.

Meanwhile, he keeps telling Haiku to go back and check the tea leaves

Quote:

Ok just go to your wise man he can redirect ypu

Apparently the clue bat isn't working. Time for the clue sledgehammer

Quote:

Sensei said tea leaves
were very angry about
the deal. It is done.

Sensei said tea leaves
would not approve deal unless
certain things happened

Sensei said Robert
Smith would know what those things were
Does Robert Smith know?

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:04 pm

^ This lad really is a moron. He has been in contact with Roger through multiple personas (most commonly his Rev Jonathan character), but Hilts knew him only as "Jerry Wealth", his fake Interpol agent.

Hilts told Roger that the lad needed to contact him in order for the bank transfer to work, so the lad reached out to Hilts using his Rev Jonathan character... who Hilts has never seen before. Hilts will ask him who the fuck he is on Monday. Hilarity will ensue.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Oh wow, Jonathan Lucky has been emailing me too. He came crawling back a few months ago.. I had completely forgotten this was the same moron (perhaps my all time favorite lads) who left JG stredded in Ghana giving BJ's for travel money.

He's been writing to Pastor Moses begging for $10,000. Of course, he never fully became a member of the church, so he sure isn't going to get any money from me! You can see how things have devolved over the past few emails:

Quote:

OK I will I need over $10,000.00 OK

Quote:

Hello
How are you doing what is going on you write me again

Moses:

Quote:

Why should I write to you? You keep asking for money like a poor beggar, but you are not serious because you will not do what is required to join. I have discussed this with the Elders, and we fear that it may be because you are a wicked homosexual.

Pastor Moses

Mr. Lucky:

Quote:

Hello pastor Moses
What do you mean by wicked homosexual?? I'm not a homosexual and I will never be under the mercy of God

I'm not happy with that settlement at all

Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 11:25 am

PM sent. I haven't seriously baited in a while, but I'll have to make an exception for a reunion with Jono the Idiot. This guy has to be one of the dumbest lads I have ever encountered.

He seems to have weaned himself off of all the exclamation marks, at least.

Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 5:34 pm

I can't wait to see where this goes. I have very fond memories of his last debacle. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

After beating him over the head repeatedly with the clue bat we've finally got things sorted out. If you sent me a pm you should be receiving an email from him concerning either a loan/gold opportunity/oil purchase. I tried to get a bank account but I don't think he has one, so I gave him one to use. When you receive it you will notice that it is not a valid account, so don't bother reporting it.

edit to add - I just sent him the following

Quote:

Okay my brother. Here are some rubes we can skin

[email protected]

She is an old bitch who lives in Ireland but flies to Montana to see me. She has millions of dollars but is always looking for ways to make more money. I think the oil thing would work best on her

[email protected]

An older fucker who paid me $30,000 to be trained as a Ninja. He wants to open a bigass gun shop and think we can hit him hard. He's one of those survivalist fuckers who thinks the world is going to end and everyone needs to be armed. He's always talking to me about opening a gun shop and selling tanks and shit like that.

[email protected]

He is one fucked up dude. He had his own dojo until it was wiped out by a Mongol horde. Yeah, pretty fucked up. So he joined my dojo. He made a shitload of cash off the rubes and I think we could sell him some gold. This dude is really fucked up but I'm sure you can work him good.

I will get some more names for you later. I had to spread some cash around, but I got the name of Robert Smith removed from the Montana FBI's most wanted list and off the terrorist list. Go do your magic partner!

Email addies x'd out. You know who you are. Have fun!

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Haha. He was great. I was baiting him from over 20 addresses. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to that computer and have forgotten most of the disposable email addresses created.

He stopped replying to "Leonard Jones" after I described a number of ways I planned to sexually humiliate Ogun.

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 10:18 pm

Sure, why not.

pm sent.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Brando, you are in

Quote:

Got another one for you. This bastard will pay and pay well

[email protected]

I would go the loan scam with this guy. He's an idiot and will pay whatever you want him to pay. Think big brother! No little shit.

Brother, Haiku came to the dojo today and I told him that the tea leaves now say he should go forward with the loan. Fleece the fucker!

We are back to being buddies. For now at least. Remember, everyone needs to check with Sensei Raat (or Ratt, however you prefer to spell it. He doesn't seen to care) before moving forward. The tea leaves must approve the deal.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 3:35 am

Hilts asks Jonathan who he is:

Quote:

Who the fuck are you? How did you get this email address? Are we working a job together?

He doesn't explain it:

Quote:

Hello Hilts
I'm writing you base on Rogers transaction he said came to bank to send me $1000 he said you told him that I should write you before you credits the Account

God bless you

Hilts asks again:

Quote:

Yes, but I'm asking who are you? I get that you got a scam going on that idiot Roger. But have we worked together before on a job? I know your names not fucking Jonathan Lucky.

Jonathan claims that Hilts doesn't know him:

Quote:

Hello I'm Jonathan Lucky no we have not work before

When will the money reflect in the Account?

I'm not surprised that the lad denied working with Hilts previously. Hilts did chew him out when he came back after the four month hiatus. I get the sense that his Jerry Wealth character is avoiding Hilts now.

Roger was quiet today. He'll ask Jonathan what is going on with the transfer tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Since he finally started talking to Raat

Quote:

O GLORIOUS DAY!
The tea leaves approve the loan!
Sensei Raat told me

I need the money
My son is still in the jail
When can I get it?

Quote:

Send us your banking details where the loan will be deposited

Quote:

Bank of Geraldine
666 Krantracky Street
Geraldine M T

When will the money
be in my account? My sons
lawyers want their cash

Quote:

You have to pay $3000 for processing fee of your loan once this is done you will get your loan in less than an hour OK

Quote:

$3,000
Is cheap for a loan of this
much money God Bless

How do I send you
the money so I can get
my son out of jail?

Quote:

Ok can you fly to new Jesery now

I would love to be a fly on the wall in this lad's brain. I picture a tiny hamster running on a tiny little wheel to provide power.

Quote:

Fly to New Jersey?
I will have to ask Sensei
Why must I do that?

Five minutes later

Quote:

Is there any need for that? Can you go to your bank now let me give you our company bank Account to make the transfer?

and

Quote:

There is no need OK I have spoken with my Director OK
You have to go to your bank make the payment into our company bank Account there is no need of fly to New Jersey

and

Quote:

Go to your bank now make the transfer and send me the scan copy of the transfer slip for confirmation and verification OK

Royal Bank Ghana Ltd.
Swift-Code: TRBGGHAC
Acct-No: 045_014149_15
Acct-Name: Throatwarbler Mangrobe
Address: Graphic Road Branch,
Accra-Ghana

That was the bank account I gave him. The _ means that this is a ghost account, untraceable.

Too bad that Bobby had already left to ask the advice of his Sensei. Sensei was not happy, to say the least

Quote:

Dude, what the fuck are you trying to pull? Haiku was just in here telling me that you told him he had to fly to New Jersey!?! What the fuck!?!?! You best not be trying to cut me out.

Look man, the nut to keep your name off the Montana FBI most wanted list is $5,000 a week. You screw me over and your ass is back being chased as a murderer, got it?

Quote:

Hello Dude I can't cut you off OK I'm with you

Quote:

What was with the New Jersey shit?

Quote:

I want him to take the transaction serious OK

Yeah, right. I'm sure it had nothing to do with him trying to go behind the back of Sensei. But I'll play along

Quote:

Okay, that is fucking brilliant. But you have to let me know when you do shit like that okay? Haiku comes in here saying that he needs to fly to New Jersey to make the payment and the only thing I could think of was that you were trying to squeeze me out. I told him that the tea leaves said he should not do that okay? Give him the bank account I gave you.

Brother we need to think bigger. Getting little piss jobs like Haiku isn't going to even cover our nut. Try this bitch Fritel's character

She brings her kid in for kung fu lessons and she is smoking hot. Her husband was a big time land developer until he croaked and left her miliions of dollars. She drives a new BMW every year. I bet we could take her big time. Her name is Anna and she is ripe to be had.

Quote:

Ok dude I will just have to tell him to do as I instruct you

I know I"m emailing him quite a bit a day, but he's just too damn much fun not to. He seems to be ignoring the bit about the nut and the $5,000 a week, which will have to come out of the ghost account.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Moses decides to lighten his stance a bit..

Quote:

Hello Reverend Lucky,

Perhaps I was too harsh with you last week. I know that you are trying to improve yourself, and it was very ungodly of my to suggest that you might be a homosexual. I am sorry about that.

What is it that I can do to help you my son?

Pastor Moses

Big surprise, he wants money:

Quote:

Hello Pastor Moses
Thanks for your mail all I need form you is praying to keep me in
God's vineyard and I need $2000 to settle my debit before I can have
full strength to continue cavorting the Muslim over here OK

God bless you for your understanding I wait for your swift reply

Regards

Glad to see he's still interested in cavorting. Very Happy

Quote:

Hello Reverend Lucky,

Yes, I recall many months ago that we were all quite exited that you were going to help us convort those wicked Muslims to the faith of the Old Gods. That is why it was most upsetting when we did not hear from you for so long. We were exited to have someone help us with the convortions and we all thought that you were very serious about joining our glorious brotherhood.

Mr. Lucky. Let me ask you again. Are you interested in joining our glorious Church of the Old Gods and helping us convort the wicked Muslims?

If you are truly interested then we can get started with your initiation. It would be a sin against the Old Gods to send money to a heathen nonbeliever, but if you want to become a member then we would certainly send the $2000 as soon as you have completed your membership. What do you need the money for?

Pastor Moses

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I have sent him most of the names but I imagine he has not contacted any of you yet. I had almost forgot how lazy this lad is. I think he is waiting for his cut from Haiku. Unfortunately for our lad Haiku is currently hiding in his house from clowns that want to kill him so the transfer will not get made.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Hello Pastor Moses
Thanks for your mail OK I'm very interested in joining I have been working for the church of the old gods since OK

Pastor Moses the money is for debit settlement emergency I need the money like died please

I need it today before I can be able to proceed OK try and understand me I'm in the street no home no money to rent or to eat I'm moving round enough to show please help me

I'm waiting for your reply now OK

I forgot how dramatic this lad was. And his English is ridiculous.

Quote:

My goodness Mr Lucky!

It sounds like your conditions are most terrible! I will pray for your safety and that the Old Gods will lead you out of your troubles!

This reminds me of the story about Thadius and Lathathan in the caves of Orom, as written in the Testament of the Old Gods. I truly believe you will come out a better person once you have gone through the cave, but times will be difficult for you in the meantime.

If you are ready to start, I will give you your first task to begin your initiation into the Church.

Pastor Moses

Big X, if I can get him started with the church stuff, I will bring in Roger as his trusted advisor to guide him through the process. We'll see though, as the laziness is strong with this lad.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Perhaps you should start calling him Mr. Unlucky.

Sensei has been bugging him as to what is going on with Haiku. Haiku sends him the following:

Quote:

Clowns in my front yard
Clowns are waiting to kill me
Hiding in bushes

You have to help me
Please call the authorities
Save me from these clowns

Clowns cut my phone lines
See them in my shrubbery
For Gods sake please help

The thing I love most about this lad is he is truly willing to believe ANYTHING. Sensei to lad:

Quote:

Man, you've got to work with me here. Frank G came into my dojo today with the names of five different people wanting to loan him money over the internet. I read the tea leaves for him and told him that the leaves said NO as none of them were you, from what I could tell. Were any of those you? You've got to let me know these things partner, we don't want some other slickster coming in and stealing our rubes.

Man, I thought you told me that Haiku was going to be in today to get the tea leaves read and send us some bling. He hasn't been in all morning. What the fuck is up with that?

Are you ready for more names? I don't want to overload you partner.

Quote:

No dude please can you give me his email address let me write him now

I had already sent it to him once, but this idiot apparently did not remember that so I sent it to him again.

Quote:

Brother, have you emailed any of the names I sent you? What the fuck have you been doing?

Quote:

I'm working on them

Quote:

How close are they? And did you send Haiku to see me? And do you need more names? Let's get this fucking shit rolling.

Quote:

Yes dude
I need more names

Quote:

Work the names that you have. I have some more rubes for you but I don't see you working the ones I gave you. None of them have come to my dojo asking my advice.

I'll give you one more name that my cousin Vinnie gave me. [email protected] I don't know much about this cat other than that he is looking to buy weapons. Is this something you can pull off?

Brother, I thought you told me that Haiku was going to come in asking me to approve giving us money. He has not been in yet. Are you telling me the truth? What are you doing? I laid my ass on the line for this and had to spread around a shitload of cash to get the name Robert Smith taken off the terrorist list, so you best not be screwing me over.

Quote:

This is what bobby wrote me Clowns in my front yard
Clowns are waiting to kill me
Hiding in bushes

You have to help me
Please call the authorities
Save me from these clowns

Clowns cut my phone lines
See them in my shrubbery
For Gods sake please help

Quote:

What did you do?

Quote:

Nothing he just sent me the mail call The police to help him OK

Quote:

And what exactly are we going to say to the police if they look on his computer and see the emails? Brother, you really need to think things through more carefully. I wouldn't worry about it. Haiku does this all the time. He is scared to death of clowns and when a clown panic attack hits him he locks himself in his house for a couple of days. How is he doing now?

Quote:

Ok dude

I love how he is calling me dude now. And it looks like killer clown(s) are now stalking Geraldine, Mt. Feel free to tell him about how you see clowns everywhere you go, and they look evil.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

It looks like we have an eager new convort!

Quote:

Ok give me the forms

Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:06 pm

Quote:

I need more names

PM sent.

Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:48 am

Mr. Labowski wrote:

Big X, if I can get him started with the church stuff, I will bring in Roger as his trusted advisor to guide him through the process. We'll see though, as the laziness is strong with this lad.

Sounds good to me. Let me know when you need Roger to step in as his mentor.

I've been trying to get this idiot to work with Hilts again from his new persona. He claims he has never done business with Hilts before, but keeps talking as if they already know each other and Hilts knows exactly what to do. Of course, I actually do know what is going on, but Hilts shouldn't, so I am playing it that way. Like so:

Quote:

Slow the fuck down, dude. I have no idea who the hell you are, and I like knowing who I'm working with. I know your names not Jonathan Lucky, so drop the bullshit. Who are you, what kind of scam are you running on that old fool Roger, and how much money is he gonna send?

Also, Roger hasn't come in again yet to send the money, and I have no idea where you want me to deposition it. Where are you located? These are all things I need to know before we can work together.

The lad fails to answer any of the questions:

Quote:

Hello Virgil
How are you it's just $1000 OK please send the money

Hilts tries again:

Quote:

Ok, I'm gonna repeat myself because I think you mite be a little slow. You didn't answer any of my goddam questions. Pay attention, because I don't like having to say shit more than once.

Who the fuck are you? What kind of scam are you running on our feeble minded friend Roger, and where do you want me to send the money that the old fool gives you? How are we splitting the cash? This is basic shit dude!

So tell me, what's the deal?

Jonathan continues to be unhelpful:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail this is the Bank Account

<snip account details>

It's $1000

Hilts gets really annoyed:

Quote:

Are you brain dead or something? Or maybe your illiterate and incapable of reading? I asked you some questions, and you didn't fucking answer them. I don't like being ignored, and I defiantly don't like having my time waisted.

Before I transfer any goddam money, I wanna know what the fuck is going on. So start talking asshole!

Jonathan continues to not be able to focus on more than one question at once:

Quote:

I'm running a little scam on him of getting Smart App for communication OK
It's just $1,000

Hilts will berate him some more tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the lad was telling Roger to go to Bank of America instead of working with Hilts, but after talking to Hilts, he changed his mind and now wants Roger to pay the $1000 through Hilts. I'm sure that will work out well for him. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

No way.... You don't get to call me dude. That's a right reserved for closers, which you are not. Do you realize that I cleared my WHOLE FUCKING WEEK so I could talk with the rubes you sent in? And all I have got for my troubles is Bobby Haiku, who is sending a shit little amount and who you can't even manage to convince to leave his house! Have you tried talking him out? HAVE YOU TRIED ANY FUCKING THING AT ALL?

My man at the Montana police department said that you were good. I think he was on drugs. I sent you names that a retarded monkey could con but you haven't done jack shit with them. Why are you doing this to me? Maybe you can afford to take some time off but I sure as hell can't. SO GET YOUR ASS TO WORK ON THE NAMES I GAVE YOU. I know you ain't done shit on them as they haven't come in to see me.

Quote:

I'm working on them

Quote:

A-B-C

What does that stand for?

Quote:

I don't know what it means

He has a habit of vanishing if pushed too hard, but I could not resist the opportunity to bastardize a speech from one of my favorite movies

Quote:

I drive an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to send the money. You hear me, you fucking faggot? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention - Do I have your attention? Interest - Are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision - Have you made your decision for Christ? And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there - you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't answer your email unless he wants to pay. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal?

I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a scam? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A. Get mad you son of a bitch, get mad. You want to know what it takes to play this game? It takes BRASS BALLS to do this. Go and do likewise buddy. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those emails tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying - a bunch of losers sittin' around in a bar. 'Oh yeah. I used to be a scammer. It's a tough racket.' These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it.

Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:55 pm

Best.

Soap opera.

Ever.

This whole thing is just plain epic.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Hilarious. Very Happy

I have no doubt that he will respond to that with one sentence.

Meanwhile, Pastor Moses has just sent him Stage One: Visual Interpretations.

Quote:

I am most exited to hear that you are once again interested in saving your immoral soul Reverend Lucky!

I am attaching the first step toward initiation: Visual Interpretations.

To complete this form properly, you must visualize what each question means to you in your mind and draw what you see. These drawings are very important to your initiation into the Church. Please be sure to use BLACK INK to fill out the forms.

Take your time on these. They are very important and your inspiration should not be rushed.

I am most exited to see your Visual Interpretations. Have fun and enjoy this sacred journey!

Pastor Moses

Forms attached. As soon as he submits them, I will reject them for some reason and bring in Roger to help guide him through the process.

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 12:28 am

Nothing to my character from lazy boi yet. For someone apparently desperate for money, he sure isn't putting much effort into getting it.

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