The Eric & Franklin Saga (Hilts/UZUMBO chop page 24)

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Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Oh, my, these lads never disappoint, do they? Shocked

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

wow

every time, they are good at getting lower and lower.

how about this: they get approached by a barrister in bettys name. just to manage some important things for bettys last will. dan reports to them that betty is doing worse and worse. at some point, he decides that it is pointless, and that he wants to shut down the machines that keep her alive, allowing her to die in dignity.

and yet, she keeps staying alive, denying the money to the lads, errrr, I mean orphans.

you could even bring in a hitman, who can try killing her.

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:31 pm

Just a little comment. Surely if anyone is going to be compensated for a lost package surely it has to be Brother Dan. He bought the contents and would have receipts to prove it. So shouldn't the compensation go to him, and then he can use the compensation to replace the lost contents and "resend" them to the Orphanage? Possibly through a different, but equally incompetent, courier? After all, the only thing that will revive Betty is those poor orphans playing with "her" toys, - not some local substitute, - like home made abbucses!

It really doesn't seem reasonable that a reputable and ethical courier company would compensate the addressees of a package when there is no formal evidence of what the package contained. Surely the eye witness evidence of the contents of the package by criminal types, (the drivers, the garage), and even the disgraced Moses, - who temporarily had possession of the package, doesn't count?

Our two intrepid travelers/charity workers, will of course have to be compensated for their past, (and future), trips to recover the missing package, - but that's another matter, - and a whole slew of different forms and procedures.

By the way, - is the package really missing?, - or can it be discovered somewhere suitably remote?

If these guys discover that their possibility of getting actual cash for the mislaid package has gone, - they might consider another trip to recover the newly discovered package?

Really enjoying the bait, - well done all!!! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I really hope these poor lads end up getting their package, or at the very least the money. And poor Betty......

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 2:19 pm

I'm with Tinker Belle. My opinion at this point, and I hope Mr L agrees with me, is that we have to get the lads to move to Niamey after Roger puts them through the paperwork and what not. I don't think it would take a whole heck of a lot to tell them that the "compensation package has been approved, and requires your signatures in order to be disbursed to the deserving parties". Once the lads are cajoled into traveling, then a phone call can tell them that the deserving party is really Dan Hamilton, and the signatures were required for insurance purposes or something like that.

Once Dan gets the money, he'll tell the lads the he has found another pair of more deserving orphanage workers to donate the money (as well as Betty's jewellery) to...two upstanding lads named Uzumb0 and Dikembe. But he genuinely thanks the lads for their help, and Betty is actually feeling better now!

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2015 Posts: 1942

^^^

Now that I like.... Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 142

All this bait needs now is a lad on the hook who wants to be a GPS complaints liaison officer.
He could meet with our fatherless duo to collect the signatures required and inform them in person that Dan will be receiving the payment.
I'm imagining the fraudstrations at that meeting, no package, no money and nowhere to sleep hopefully!

My mind runs riot with possibilities if this could be made to happen Smile

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 11:46 am

Quote:

I can't spot any obvious signs of a forgery, but I'm not entirely sure they're real either. What do you folks think?

They're pretty good fakes, however I thought they're from Ghana, why are these death certificates from Nigeria? Or is the lad based in Ghana by himself while his family is based in Nigeria?

I'm loving this latest chapter in Eric & Franklin's Excellent Adventures!

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 1:26 pm

^ Good questions!

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 11:05 pm

Wow, I didn't actually even notice that! Good catch!

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 12:47 am

Roger sent the lad the questionnaire. He acknowledges that he received it:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail.
I am writing to inform you that i received the paperwork successful
and i will go through it to do the needful . I understood that is
something i will take my time to fill all the species and send it back
to you as soon as i finished.

Roger will ask about the father being in Nigeria tomorrow.

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 4:43 pm

Yeah, I think at least one back-and-forth can be devoted to Roger indicating that he had the research team at GPS check with the Nigerian state ministry and cannot find any record of Franklin's father.

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 10:25 pm

Ah, and lets not forget Eric's recently departed papa!

Any chance of getting some paperwork relating to his demise?

Either the lads are spending their time and/or cash making fakes, or they're bribing someone to come up with the real Mccoy. Either way, it's a result!

What about a " no win, no fee" lawyer contacting them regarding their PTSD that they so clearly have suffered?

Loving the bait Mr L, - currently wading throughthe Hecky Cronicles, - but wonderful to watch a live bait unfolding.

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 10:31 pm

Roger asks the lad about the father being in Nigeria:

Quote:

I have another question. I was reading threw your file again and I noticed that you said previously that you are in Ghana, but the death certification you sent me said that your diseased father was from Nigeria. How is it that your father was in Nigeria and you are in Ghana? Can you please explicate this for me?

The lad explains:

Quote:

Thank you for your questions. Yes! I'm a Nigerian, but i work and live in Ghana.

I wasn't around when my late father died and nobody will help my Uncle
to carter for everything in Nigeria. My Uncle sent my elder sister
that married out to Ekeh family to go and obtain an Affidavit of our
late father death certificate from the High Court of Justice to make
sure we gets our father death certificate legally as you requested.

Roger will have more questions tomorrow. I'm just killing time until he returns the questionnaire we sent him.

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:20 pm

So...where's the marriage certificate?

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 12:17 am

Does he have two fathers, an early one and a late one?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

more importantly: have they been engaged? Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 4:02 pm

^^^What about a birth certificate proving that the deceased is, indeed, little Franklin's dear old dad?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

as I've written somewhere earlier: there was once a lad, who demanded a picture of the open coffin with the late father (the baiter claimed that his characters dad died).

well, I still believe, that a pic of the open coffin of franklins father would be required by some obscure law Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 142

^^^

And an autopsy report confirming the heart attack caused by thinking of the lads stress, that must be worth a fair few thousand to their cause.

Maybe you could help by sending them a form for the coroner to fill in.

Any cost from the coroner can be added to their due amount, with a receipt of course.

A busy lad is a happy lad.

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 9:50 pm

Was the funeral large? Who came? Perhaps they can gather a guest list for the funeral. Was the funeral based on Nigerian or Ghanaian customs? Also, the High Court of Justice seems important. Do they have all of the necessary forms? The more forms you give them the more opportunities there are to make their task tougher.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 142

^^^

I think he's still on ice IIRC

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 10:15 pm

Roger asks about the in-laws:

Quote:

Ah, now I think I understand. You are from Nigeria originally, but you have moved to Ghana to work and be with Mr Eric. Is it easier to be a gay in Ghana than in Nigeria?

Also, you mentioned that your sister married out to Ekeh family. Who is this Ekeh family you are speaking of? Are they connected to Mr Dan Hamilton or Mr Moses Malone in anyway? I am just not sure I understand why you are bringing them out.

No response from the lad today. I think he must be busy filling out our paperwork. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 3:57 am

Franklin sends the paperwork to Roger:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail and i'm very sorry for my late response.
I want to make sure that i get back to you with all the requirements. Honesty, I am not a homosexual and i'm telling you nothing but the truth.

Regarding your question about Ekeh's family. Ekeh family is my in-law and i wasn't around to obtain the death certificate myself, that's the
reason why my elder sister that married to Ekeh family went and obtain our late father death certificate that is how her name came
inside.

Kindly upload the files and receive our Compensation submission form with sketch of Grand Mosque in Korhogo you requested and Sara Petrol station where we slept in M'bengue, me and Eric holding submission drawned paper and my late father drawned picture for your reference.

Besides we don't have any bank account to receive our funds, the account I added in the submission form is my friend International
account.

There are 17 attachments on this email, including pictures of Eric and Franklin with new signs, pictures of them with children (presumably the "orphans"), and 11 pages of the filled out paperwork. I don't have time to download and host them all right now, but I will post them tomorrow morning. Since the lad sent them to me after work hours today, I can wait until Monday to have Roger reply.

Shortly after he sent the paperwork, Franklin remembered that he forgot something:

Quote:

I am very sorry for the inconvenience, i remembered that i did not sing my sworn statement as you requested.

Kindly upload the attached file, i attached the last page of the sworn statement with my singed signature as you requested.

Now he has "singed" yet another sworn statement. It amuses me how insistent this lad is with his terminology. Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ hahahahaha. I love how he keeps singing his signatures.

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