Navel Lint Festival!

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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 2:03 pm

, a long-time Brit emigre to Malta, is baiting the young .

Quote:

Dearest Daughter ,

Thank you indeed for your urgent email. It is always so good to hear
from you.

I regret any error I may have made with your telephone number. I
thought I had it correct. However, that might explain the strange
response I got when I tried to call you. The telephone was answered by
a gruff gentleman who first sounded as though I might have awakened him, and then he told me to bugger off. Oh, my!

Today is a holiday on Malta, so no one is working. It is our annual
"Navel Lint Festival". We all dress in traditional Maltese costume and
contribute whatever navel lint we can find to a collection point in the
center of the city. Last year we collected over 127 pounds from the
entire island. This is a tradition that dates from the early 1700's, and honors our blessed St. Stimpy (I borrowed this saint from a baiter here - thanks), who paid his taxes in navel lint and
was martyred for it.

Time for late lunch. Because it's a holiday, we're having pizza and
champagne. Same as breakfast. Cheery bye, and please give our fondest regards to your brother !

To which replies:

Quote:

Good morning sir,
How we wish we are at the celebratiop of today. because the way you explain it to me sounds fantastic. But what kind of traditional wears do you put on? Is the europeans have any traditional wears?

Dad, i read from the copy of the bank letter you sent me saying to them that you do not know the fund account number; but i have sent you all information about that. please this is the account number of the money again: .

Please dad, try to call me for at least once so that i can hear your voice
and if possible the voice of our brother and mum.
Happy celeration dad,

And responds:

Quote:

Dearest Daughter ,

I too wish you might have been here at the festival. It was so jolly,
with the lights and the gay costumes and all! And I am told the
unofficial accounting was that we collected 139 pounds of navel lint, a
new record. So you see, the holiday is becoming more popular as more
people participate. Or else navels have become lintier.

You have asked about traditional wears. This is left largely to the
individual, but for myself, I wore lederhosen, Birkenstock sandals, a
T-shirt that was emblazoned with "My Grandparents Visited Disney World
And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt", and a Tilley hat with the brim
snapped up on the left hand side. Barbara wore horizontally stripped
red and white tights, a pink chiffon tutu, a sequined bustier, and a red
and yellow jester's cap. No underwear for either of us, of course,
since that is tradition. Oh, , I so wish you could have seen. We were splendid! And if we only owned a Kodak, we might have snapped a piccy for you.

Thank you so much for reminding me of the fund account number. I fear I
am beginning to become old and forgetful. Let this be a lesson to you,
my dear - never allow yourself to become old.

I have tried twice to call you at the number you gave me. The call does
not go through, even though I wait 30 to 45 minutes for an undersea
cable line. Do you have your phone turned on? I do not understand.
Well, I do know that the cable goes through Libya, so perhaps Col.
Muammar Khadafy is standing on the cable again just to be obstinate.
That happened March last, and no calls from Malta could go through to
Africa for several days until he was persuaded to move.

Remain blessed, precious child,
Your dear Pappa

The bait is ongoing.

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 8:07 am

I moved this here. This is good stuff keep us updated. Smile

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:47 am

haha I like the Libya reference....