Funny reply to Nigerian scammer

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 30 Mar 2016 Posts: 1

Quote:

From Desk Of Jim Ovia
Zenith Bank Plc Financial Planner
Address:. ACI 2000 - Imm SIPROVET - Hamdallaye
BP E 566 - Bamako - Nigeria
Phone: +2348068938570
Online Banking Department

IRREVOCABLE PAYMENT ORDER VIA ATM CARD

Very Urgent and Important

This is the 3rd time i am sending you this notification letter regarding to your abandoned ATM Master Card valued sum of US $ 2.5 Million and i have not received any positive respond from you or making a suggestion on how you wish to receive your ATM Card. Once again; I am Jim Ovia, the new director ATM Head of Operation Zenith Bank Plc, I resumed to this office on the 10th of March,2016 and during my official research I discovered an abandoned ATM Master card valued sum of $ 2.5 Million belonging to you as the rightfully intimate beneficiary.

I tried to know why this card has not been released to you but I was told by the Union management that the former director ATM head of operation who left this office four months ago withhold your card for his own personal use without knowing that his evil plans towards diverting your fund will be discovered.

Now that your ATM Master card is still available and ready for collection, therefore you can come down here to our bank to pick up your card direct from my office or alternatively it can be arranged ship to your address through any registered reliable courier service company that you will take care of the courier charge, hope it is cleared and accepted by you?

I do not know the courier cost of shipping the card to you but if you permit me and accept the terms, then I can make an inquiry from the courier shipping company to find out the cost, but in that case you will be required to forward to me your address where you want to receive the card to enable me find out the shipping cost to your location.

Your direct telephone number and address will be needed and more details of your ATM card payment will be made known to you as soon as I receive your swift positive response.

YOUR FULL NAMES ..........................
YOUR ADDRESS: ............................
YOUR PHONE NUMBER ........................
CELL PHONE NUMBER ........................
AGE ......................................
SEX: .....................................
YOUR OCCUPATION / POSITION HELD ..........

Do not hesitate to call me on +2348068938570 as soon as you read this mail.

Thanks for your co-operation and i wait for your kind positive respond.

Yours Faithfully,

Jim Ovia
Tel: +2348068938570

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Mr Ovia,

I sincerely apologise for the delay regarding my response. You see, I recently emigrated to the Greek island of Santorini and unfortunately, Internet service here is slow at best. Furthermore, I don't actually own a computer, I am simply using a typewriter wired to a dial-up modem, so I don't even know if this email is reaching you.

Regardless of this, I will send you my details:

Name: Jack Bromby

Address: Μονόλιθος, Santorini, Greece (Look for some unfinished houses near the airport, I'm currently squatting in one of those)

Phone Number: We don't use phones in Greece, carrier pigeons and smoke signals are the primary method of communication here, I would offer either of these communication methods but I don't think a pigeon could fly all the way from Greece to Nigeria, and furthermore unless you work in an office as tall as Dubai's Burj Khalifa, I don't think you would have much chance of seeing my smoke signal

Age: 21.5635

Sex: Male, last time I checked

Occupation: Trying to sell tourists my personal hand-drawn maps of the island, I also occasionally clean up vomit off the floor, left behind by German, Russian and British tourists who have had that one drink too many in nightclubs across the island (if you need one, a reference is available from Dimitris who runs the Full Moon Bar in Perissa)

If you need any further information, feel free to contact me, however it may take me up to 6 months to respond as OTE have threatened to cut my Internet off for non-payment of bills. Alternatively, if you wish to send me the ATM master card you mentioned in your original email, I will be able to renew my Internet connection and give you a fast response to any further inquiries you may have.

Kind regards,

Jack Bromby

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