Christmas at the Orphanage - 6 Weeks on SAFARI

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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 9:35 am

Quote:

DIKEMBE KIND OF SCARED OF LITTLEGUY FRANKLIN THINKS HE HAS SPECAL POWERS

This made me laugh!

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

what would happen, if uzumbo sends him this other trophy-pic, but with an alternative text photochopped onto that page.

that way, uzumbo and his men must look like very powerful guys, who know much more about laddy... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 10:09 am

^^ maybe you should photo chop his ears off. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:06 am

Poor little Franklin! To add to his woes, Uzumbo now wants to chop off his teeny, weeny fingers!! If he didn't have the two bob bits before, he sure will now Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 2:49 pm

"FRANKLIN IS LITTLE BITTY GUY TINY TINY TINY MAN ONLY LIK 1 METER TALL JUST SMALL LIKE BOY OK??"

There's been probably 5-6x since I've been on this site that I literally couldn't stop laughing because of something I have read or heard, and this sentence is definitely one of them. Your Uzumb0 emails are freakin hilarious!

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ I was tickled pink by that, too. Too, too funny.

However, I was just like HB222's mum when I saw Franklin's pic. Quite horrified. Looks on the edge of expiring through starvation. Reminds me of all those media pics of starving refugees in various parts of the world.

I think Mr L will surely get a skull and crossbones out of this safari. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^^^

well, that's a cure of that tapework, as far as I know.

take medicines against it and starve it to death.

well, he is hard working on starving that thing to death...

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Yes that sounds right, M'Bengue is just a very short trip north of you. It is a fairly small village, very easy to navigate. I am in a very good sized hotel located in the center of town right at the main intersection. It is impossible not to see it. There is one major road intersection in M'Bengue and the hotel in only perhaps 100 meters away from that intersection. Very easy to locate and a large sign that reads HOTEL on it.

I am just waiting here playing games on your iPads. I had never actually played with one of these before, they are pretty neat little gadgets! The games are a fun way to pass the time.

When do you think you can get here? If a driver needs extra funds, I still have a modest amount of cash I can pay them with once they arrive here. Have you seen sign of any Kofiboyz recently? I haven't seen any around here yet.

Well, our boys seem healthy enough for another small trip. They are now in M'bengue, a tiny village 44 miles north of Korhogo. Very Happy

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

Thanks for your response and we just arrived in M'bengue right now,
we asked people about the intersection road, they can't locate the
road.

We are standing at the bus stop at where we saw a sign board wrote
CENTRE DE SANTE URBAIN DE M'BENGUE.

Please we want you to call our number and give anybody at the hotel
reception to direct taxi to bring us to the hotel, because we can't
communicate with them with French.

Hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards
Mr Eric

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

Good afternoon! We've arrived in M'bengue, where you directed us to
come for a long time now and we asked people at bus STOP near the
market where to locate the intersection road, so that we can locate
the hotel where you are but no one knows the intersection road.

We can't make a move from here, we are sitting at the bus stop
adjacent CENTRE DE SANTE URBAIN DE M'BENGUE close to the small market
in M'bengue.

Please do me a favour to call my cell phone number and give anybody at
the hotel that speaks French, so that I can give a taxi driver to
bring us there.

We hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards.
Mr Eric.

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

How are you doing? I hope all is well with you.

We have waited for your call for so long and we still at the bus stop
adjacent CENTRE URBAIN DE SANTE DE M'BENGUE close to the market in
M'bengue.

We are totally confuse what to do, up till now we have not heard from
you and we don't know what to do and where to go.

Please your urgent attention needed at this point immediately you
receive this mail , if not we don't know where to sleep.

We hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards

Mr Eric

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 8:43 pm

Sweet!

These lads are ever so forked.

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 9:34 pm

Wow, and Mr U didn't even have to ransack the office. Well done, Mr L!

According to Google, thats a 90 minute trip under the best of circumstances.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

I would be surprised, if the roads up there allow 30 km/h (20 mph), so a 44 mile trip takes at least 2 hours, driving at low speed means high fuel consumption... in other words, it's expensive. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 10:34 pm

Too bad Moses didn't get time to reply. Guess he's too busy playing games on their iPad Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:56 pm

Wow, you actually got them to travel again. Good Job. Now they really are up shit creek without a paddle.

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:27 am

Absolutely stellar work! bow_down

It just goes to show that no lad is ever too sick to try collecting a payday! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

More from Uzumbo:

Quote:

GOOD DAY BRODA!!!

MY GUY U STILL CAN RITE ME AN MAYBE I NOT CUT UR EARS OFF OK??? WE NO U WILL NOT HAVE STENGTH TO CARRY ALL ELECTRONIC TO GHANA LITTLE GUY FRANKLIN TOO ITYBITY SMALL TO CARRY MORE THAN JUS 1 OR 2 IPAD HIS SMALL GIRL ARMS TO WEEK OK?? MY GUY DIKEMBE BIG AN STRONG HE BIG ENOUF TO CARRY LITTLE FRANKLIN OVER SHOULDER LIKE BABYGOAT OK?? BOSSMAN KOFI SAYS WE MUS START GOING TO ALL CHURCHES AN MOSQES TO COLLECT INFORS ON ERIC AN LITTLE GUY FRANKLIN CUZ HE MAD WE NOT COLLECT YET?? WE FIND U SOONEST JUS A MATER OF TIME NOW SO B SMART AN DON MAKE MY GUY DIKEMBE MAD OR HE TAKE LITTLE FRANKLINS LITTLE FINGLERS FOR SOUTH AFRICA RITUAL OK??

UZUMBO

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 2:23 am

Quote:

HE BIG ENOUF TO CARRY LITTLE FRANKLIN OVER SHOULDER LIKE BABY GOAT OK?

P
Ooooh the image that conjures up Shocked

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 5:20 am

I can see how this is going to play out: Mr L will keep stringing them along, town by town, until they reach the Mali border. That's when they'll discover that Korhogo is a resort compared to Mali.

Outstanding work. I hope these dirtbags spend 100+ days on safari.

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 7:33 am

Well done on getting them moving again!

I assume that Mr Franklin somehow managed to find enough coins down the back of the sofa etc. to pay his "hospital bills" before leaving Korhogo......

This saga is better than any soap opera!

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:24 am

How many weeks now? I can't remember another Safari of this length for years. This is epic.

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:57 pm

Mr Malone could book a room for Eric and Franklin in a SH close by.

(Mod edit to obfuscate the name of our favorite hotel modality.) Wink

- JF

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 2:29 pm

I thought I mentioned sending them to an SH at one point, perhaps I forgot to post it...I wonder what's close by? Bouake?

TM, I think it's almost seven weeks now.

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 4:31 pm

The lads are not doing themselves any favours by listening to your advice Mr L. Great work to get them so utterly forked. Amazing that they still believe in you. Top notch safaribating.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

They left on Jan. 4th, so if I am counting correctly this is Day 50!

These lads are a special kind of stupid. Very Happy

Quote:

Sorry for the late reply, I had a big lunch and took a long nap this afternoon.

I am not entirely sure where that bus stop is. Can you snap me a picture of you two in front of a large landmark? Something I will recognize and I will come right out and get you.

Things aren't going any better for our boys...

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

Thanks for your response and your concern.

Unfortunately, we got help from people at filling station adjacent to
MARIE DE M'BENGUE near CENTRE URBAIN DE SANTE DE M'BENGUE close to the
bus stop we told you.

You should not worry tracing us this night , because is late already
and we will sleep at the filling station this night, then tomorrow
morning we will send the name of the filling station to know if you
can locate it.

Good might.

Regards.
Mr Eric

The next day:

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

Good afternoon! How are you doing? I hope everything is fine. I'm very
sorry for not been in contact with you since morning, the orange
network coverage was off here since morning that is why we never
update you since but we just connect to new MTN line this afternoon so
that we can communicate with you easily.

we are still at the SARA PETROLEUM STATION adjacent MARIE DE M'BENGUE
where we slept last night waiting for you to come and pick us, the
petrol station is the first station if you are coming from Korhogo.

Regarding the picture you said that we should snap my cell phone can't
attached it, but we still wearing the same clothes at the picture we
sent to you, I am on blue top jeans shirt and Franklin is on red top
shirt.

If you can't be able to locate the place easily, please do me a favour
to call my cell phone number and give anybody at the hotel reception
to direct taxi driver to bring us there. I believe it will be easier.

Besides, please don't tell anybody that both of us are in the village
of M'BENGUE now for security reasons till we ship the package to
Ghana, then i will inform Brother Dan, because if you tell him now
that we are at the village of M'BENGUE this gangs might confuse him
and get more details about us and the package.

If he contacts you tell him that you are in closer communications with
us that you will inform him once you hand the package over to us and
we will also inform him as well.
Please call this our new MTN CI line immediately you receive this
mail

Moses isn't entirely sure where they are.

Quote:

Ah good I am glad to finally hear from you. I am not entirely sure where the Sara petroleum station is, I will go talk with hotel reception and see if they can explain it to me how to get there.

They had a bad day today:

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

We are highly disappointed from you today, it was a sad news this afternoon.

We are waiting for you at the SARA PETROLEUM STATION ADJACENT MARIE DE
M'BENGUE waiting,
Suddenly three police men came with their van and arrested us to their
office after we sent you the mail you received to question us what we
are doing in M'bengue and we told them that you directed us to come
and collect our package in M'bengue.

We gave your phone number to call you to confirm the truth but is
different person picked up their calls.

To be honest with you, after cross checking our identity in there
system, we sitted at the the station 9pm before they discharge us and
warned us to leave Cote d'Ivoire or else they will jail us in this
country.

The Chief Inspector in charge sent his boys to throw us out of the
town this night that if they see us again in M'bengue they will get us
arrested.

We are currently at DIRRCTION TECHNIQUE SERVICE INDUSTRIAL ET
LOGISTIQUE USINE D'EGRANAGE DE M'BENGUE, they wrote IVORIE COTON at
their big gate, their are plenty long vehicles there if you are coming
from Korhogo to M'bengue.

We are totally confuse where we are at the moment, because police
warned us not to come back to M'bengue, we want you to use taxi to
locate the address above so that we will meet you to know if we are
going back or going front because all our money finish and if we
didn't see you it will be a tragedy to us and our life is in your hand
now.

Kindly call any of the line we sent to you this afternoon
(551270xxx/8749xxxx)our battery is low and we don't know if we can get
light to charge our phone early, if you call our line you didn't us,
we still want you to come to address we sent above before 12pm and
after the time we will go back.

Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:21 am

Quote:

we still wearing the same clothes at the picture we sent to you

They must be humming by now Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:42 am

I just love this bait SOOOOOO much!! Very Happy

These lads are really special. A whole new level of stupid. Almost 2 months wearing the same stinky clothes, sleeping outside gas stations, picked up by police --- it just doesn't get any better than that. Or maybe it will. I don't think they are remotely close to done yet.

bow_down

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