Hitlads, redux

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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 1:58 pm

Since January, 2013 I have kept up contact with Anderson. Begging him to come back to Kenya where he was stredded in hash conditions for a couple of months (thanks to Robert) https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=214184&highlight=raining+hitlads

Since their first safari, Henshaw has now rented a flat in Nairobi proper and Anderson - after listening to Ska beg him to return to Kenya - is now back for more of the same. This time, another box but with raw stones and no diamonds, awaits. He has continued to ask about Pinkie Pie (read: Pinks money) and has forgotten about the trauma that Gomer inflicted. Pink has left Anderson a box - tho Ska doesn't know the contents; only that it was in Pinks will. The letter notifying Anderson of the inheritance will be left at the desk of a Nairobi hotel for him to claim.

On a sad note, the child he fathered with the hotel maid passed around Christmas from pneumonia - so I will allow him sufficient time to grieve (trust me - he isn't) before his next move. This time to Nanyuki and places North, since Henshaw knows nothing about the area North of Nairobi. Not to mention travel in that area is horribly difficult.

The turkey has landed. Let the fun begin.

(Edit to fix bad link)

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:05 pm

Moved to Main from HH&T.

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:06 pm

Thanks, bware.

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:56 am

Can't wait to see what you do to this lad!

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 2:17 am

Another hitlad? Great! Jack the Snipper was getting boring https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=273464

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

he once was a hitlad. not just a hitlad, but the goat felching hitlad dai teatime of the brotherhood of goat felchers from the city of ankh morpork and in the possession of the official hitlad certificate, signed by princess luna.

that was a truly epic script created by sunshine and given to him.

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:20 pm

I spent most of the week setting up Andersons 'treasure hunt'. A packet has been left at a hotel in Nairobi. First, a little background. Brevity is not in my nature, so advance apologies.

Uppermost in the packet he received from the shyster is a cover letter:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Anderson:

We have been instructed by your late fiancée Ms. Pinkie Pie regarding the final disposition of her earthly goods. She has instructed us that she left a box for you at an undisclosed location that is open to the public and is not on private land. You may locate said bequest by following the instructions included herein, in her final letter to you.

This is a most unusual disposition of estate, but it is our hope that you follow her instructions to claim her riches, as the young lady was very adamant in her wishes.

Sincerely,

Shonuff Abida Wikked

Estate Planning
Dewy, Fleezum & Howe
Afribank Plaza, Addis Ababba, Tanzania

From Pink, in a separate envelope,

Quote:

My Darling Boo:

It is with many tears that I write this letter. Some from pain but most are from the pain in my heart. Darling Anderson, love of my life. I have been so lost without you. For many years I was afraid to contact you for fear that you would not want me. But now as I lay here stricken with yellow fever, the doctor says I shall not live long. At least not long enough to see my Boo again.

I have fallen in love with Kenya. The scenery. The wildlife. The wilderness. Most of the past 2 years I have spent in Meru, hiding my location even from Ska who saved me from slavery in Lagos. I don't remember much of the time following our escape, but I know that you paid for Simba with the money you left behind in Embu, and for that I am forever grateful. She saved my life, but you saved my soul. The money box paid for 2 years of therapy that I needed to become whole again.

It is for that reason I have left for you a pack of my most precious things. The things that remind me of our love eternal. But I would also like you to see the last place I was happy. I had so hoped to make the safari with you; but if you are reading this, the yellow fever has won and I am no more.

Please darling, follow the path. 2 stops only. And when you safari, think of me. I am beside you my love.

Im sorry, dear Anderson. I leave you my most valuable, precious things as a symbol of my undying love. Use them well to see your future.

Forever your

Pink

Also included, a (real) death certificate for Pink. If I ever figure out images I will add them. The first safari - Nairobi to Meru National Park, promises to include at least 70km of bad road - mud - no tarmac. His 2nd clue is at the edge of the rhino enclosure, where an attitudinal bull elephant spends his days. It's under a rock, rock under a high voltage electric fence. Accessible to the old woman... so surely Mr. Anderson won't have any problems. Oh - yeah - rainy season just started. Its advisable to have 4wd during rainy season. Or be able to run like a Kenyan as there isn't a chance in hell (next safari) a park ranger is going to meander out that way. And the animals aren't enclosed. And it's mating season.

So... now we wait for him to take the bait.

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 1:26 pm

Quote:

Most of the past 2 years I have spent in Meru, hiding my location even from Ska who saved me from slavery in Lagos

So much awesome in that line! Totally hooked on part 2 already!

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 8:56 pm

Even while Anderson was still in Nigeria, we often talked about Nairobi night life. I encouraged him to stay at a particular hotel in South B. Oddly, it's also one of Henshaws favourite hangouts. Tonite the lads registered. And before he was too drunk n smoked up, Anderson shot me a message...

Quote:

[3/12 22:50] Anderson did you know Pinkie died?
[3/12 22:52] Kate.......... yeah. I just found out.
[3/12 22:52] Anderson there was a letter 4 mi here in South B at da hotel she stay at
[3/12 22:54] Kate.......... from her ?
[3/12 22:54] Anderson lawyer. Do u know Meru?
[3/12 22:55] Kate.......... yeah -is North. Y?
[3/12 22:56] Anderson da letter ask mi 2 go dere.
[3/12 22:56] Kate.......... u gonna go ?
[3/12 22:57] Anderson yeah if Henshaw will take mi
[3/12 22:57] Kate........... lemmi know whats up.
[3/12 22:58] Anderson Pink leave mi somethin when she die. did she still have monies
[3/12 22:59] Kate........... dunno. She quit talkin 2 me when she switched from the Simba camp. Said her shrink was fucked up n too expensive. Was she in Meru?
[3/12 23:02] Anderson we talk kesho Meter. I need to think on dis.

Game on.

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 10:03 pm

Welcome back Muzungu! have fun with your turkey.

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:32 pm

So good to see you again-carry on with the lad pain!

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 5:59 pm

Quote:

It's under a rock, rock under a high voltage electric fence.[.............] And the animals aren't enclosed. And it's mating season.

MTH, I am struggling hard here to find the right terms to express my admiration for this awesome ambush Cool

I am crossing my fingers