A Fowl For Love - Wooed, Screwed, and Tattooed (NSFW)

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 5:26 am

The latest in a series of Hitlanta applicants has entered the building with the prestigious title of ‘Lad who writes the World’s Longest Email title whilst leaving the Body Blank.’ Don’t take my word for it let’s see what the Lad has to say:

Quote:

hello dear, my name is daddyrash, am a good friend to auntie mary, and she told me u can help me in my profession, am into music and i also produce audio and music videos and also shoot and edit movies and i need your help to be in your company, so i can be productive, pls help me with it, this is my email, and my facebook acount is daddyrash , this is also my whatsapp number +DIALAMUGU / +DIALAMAGA, hope to get back from u thanks and God bless.

Darla responds from Home as a good Talent Scout does:

Quote:

Hey there,

I will provide you with all the details you need to work with us but unfortunately this is Thanksgiving weekend and our offices are closed. I will be in touch soon,

Yours,

Darla

Sooo who is Daddyrash you ask? Well he and a crew attempted to scam Auntie Mary AKA Mom AKA Ginger Lee a few weeks back so she kindly passed him over to Team Hitlanta for some fun and games. Sadly this Lad is one of the most annoying tools that I have ever dealt with and I almost blocked him as I simply couldn’t take his inane banter. Luckily I stuck with him and moved him to Anita AKA bware so he could apply for a job with Hitlanta.

After some endless chats Darla passed him the Skinny:

Quote:

The Admin Ass is Anita and this is her address - [email protected]. Please send her a message of introduction and ask her for an application ok?

Later Gator,

Darla

PS-XO

The Lad seemed rather happy to oblige:

Quote:

thanks baby, i will do that now, God bless u my love, i pray this work out so i can come over and make u happy forever, i love u so much, pls u will also press forward for her to accept my apllication.

Oh don’t you worry Daddyrash you will be accepted…Trust me! You’d hire him wouldn’t you? Best check out the application eh?

Sooo I haven’t bothered to capture most of his chats (okay all of them) as it is Blather BUT since I’ve posted this I’ll try to be more better at keeping the Peeps up to date…Wait 11:36 Est and this just in:

Quote:

DaddyRash: baby i have completed and sent the form
DaddyRash: she has also replied and she said by monday they will look into it
Darla: Baby you have done more better than I would have imagined.
DaddyRash: wow
thanks honey
u are the best
i just cant wait to come over so i will see u my love
and hold u and kiss u honey
Darla: Hunny with your talent and fortitude am sure we will be together sooner rather than later ok?
DaddyRash: sooner
i pray sooner
pls honey try and encourage them more and tell them good things about me so its will work soon
honey what your time over there?
are u there honey?
Darla: Am here
DaddyRash: whats your time over there?
Darla: almost Midnight my Darling.
DaddyRash: ok honey
so baby when will u call me? and u have not yet send me any pics of yours
i really want to have more pics of yours in my phone
so that when i go to location by nest week, those artist that will come will see your pics
and i will tell them u are my love
Darla: Baby it's really late here can we talk in the morning?
DaddyRash: ok my love
pls when u wake up try and alert me and say honey good morning ok?

Yup we gots us a live one and He's a Fool for Love:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFvTVQObI5I

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Alright a new recruit to the crew! Phatty and Hitlanta is one of my favorite modalities on Eater. Looking forward to see how his career develops!

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:15 pm

So he's cheating on reference #2 with reference #1 AND you?

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 10:16 pm

Nice Oscar. Great work!!

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:28 am

Mr. Labowski wrote:

Hitlanta is one of my favorite modalities on Eater

Couldn't agree more! Excellent work once again. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 5:32 pm

Miss H-Lanta needs to look out.... Daddy's focused on a new target... Gay Alex Hollywood, feature film producer and sex maniac. Very Happy

DaddyFool
Whats up film guy

Alex Hollywood
how's it going?

DaddyFool
am kul
going to a movie location

Alex Hollywood
nice
who is producing?

DaddyFool
u are into film making fight

Alex Hollywood
yes

DaddyFool
a friend is the producer
am the camera man(d.o.p) and also the editor

Alex Hollywood
nice, i enjoy nollywood movies.

This chatter goes on for a while, and then Alex decides to make his move…

Alex Hollywood
have you ever acted?

DaddyFool
yea i have
but not often

Alex Hollywood
you are a handsome man

DaddyFool
thanks

Alex Hollywood
tell me more about you... do you like men?

DaddyFool
yes of couse i do like men and women

Alex Hollywood
I like men only

DaddyFool
really?

Alex Hollywood
yes

DaddyFool
like men in what way?

Alex Hollywood
I am gay

DaddyFool
thats nice

Alex Hollywood
have you ever been with a man?

DaddyFool
hmmmm not really

Alex Hollywood
not really? so you have done some things with a man?
because I think you're hot.

DaddyFool
no

Alex Hollywood
hmmm..... would you like to?

DaddyFool
thanks
if i say yes, then how?

Alex Hollywood
then we keep chatting, get to know each other, then maybe you come here or i go there to visit

DaddyFool
hmm ok

Alex Hollywood
do you think I'm hot?

DaddyFool
if u can bring me over
yea

Alex Hollywood
you are turning me on....

DaddyFool
but i have a girlfriend in atlanta

Alex Hollywood
does she mind sharing you?

DaddyFool
i dont know
how will u bring me over there?

Alex Hollywood
either you can fly commercial or charter, let's figure that out after we know each other a little more
who is your girlfriend?

DaddyFool
ok
never mind about her name ok?
she is just special and nice
so i dont want to involve her to this pls

How does this “gay sex” thing work….?

Alex Hollywood
can I tell you something?

DaddyFool
tell me

Alex Hollywood
I would really love to f*** you

DaddyFool
how?
but am a man

Alex Hollywood
I know baby
you don't know anything about gay sex?

DaddyFool
no

Alex Hollywood
ok but you would want to learn?

DaddyFool
i dont know for now
i think yes

DaddyFool
so how and when will u bring me to u?

Alex Hollywood
are you saying you want to have sex baby?

DaddyFool
how do u mean sexy baby?

Alex Hollywood
I am asking if you want to have sex with me

DaddyFool
how can that be possible
teach me first
then i will answer u
u have dick and i have dick also
but girls have pussy
so how can a man have sex with a man
???
pls teach me
so i can know and get the ideal
are u there?

Alex Hollywood
baby, I would (insert description of gay sex here)
and you would (ditto)

DaddyFool
ok?
thats all?

Alex Hollywood
no baby (more sex talk)

DaddyFool
ok

Daddy wants to talk to Alex, but the network is bad…

Alex Hollywood
baby.... if you want to talk.... YOU CALL ME
damn baby

DaddyFool
i cant hear u
i would have try with my second line but no call card inside
its ok since u dont want to call
i did not see your text message

Alex Hollywood
then your phones are not working
i sent sms to both of your numbers
why are nigeria phones so shitty?

DaddyFool
i just recieved your message on my second line
its says its me alex

Alex Hollywood
so now you have my number

DaddyFool
pls i want to hear your voice
call this second line

Alex Hollywood
baby, I am with some people now. Call me later when you are in a better network spot
and stop asking me to call you. if you want to talk so bad, you can call me.

DaddyFool
if u truly like me so i can hear your sexy voice

Alex Hollywood
baby, I can get plenty of men here
I don't need to call you

DaddyFool
why are u hard on me?

Alex Hollywood
because I don't need to chase anyone

DaddyFool
i dont like it

Alex Hollywood
oh well

DaddyFool
i just told u no call card

Alex Hollywood
then buy one and call me
being poor is not sexy baby

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 9:17 pm

Excellent. Anita will be following up on his Hitlanta application tomorrow.

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 10:55 pm

Darla talks her sweaty man!

Highlights...
* Lad singing a ballad
* Lad singing custom Darla Rap song
* Orgasmic lad moans

https://soundcloud.com/shekau1/diaperrash

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:52 pm

^^^
Songs for Darla.
Nice stuff.

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 4:16 am

Padme, that was magnificent! Very Happy

I love how you keep repeating "Sweatie" over and over. Brilliant de-education. You know he will use that with all of his potential victims.

Outstanding baiting (as usual).

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 10:29 am

Padme, nice de-education on his wooing technique! And that rap was painful!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

10:53

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 1:44 pm

^ "Ya gonna scream.... WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Gay Alex Hollywood talks to DaddyRash.
(featuring OP as Alex)

https://soundcloud.com/shekau1/diaperrashalex

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:19 pm

I just finished listening to Padme's excellent call. Every time he sings "Darla," my ear hears "Dollar." It works lyrically, too.

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:38 pm

I love singing scammers, perhaps my favourite kind of bait.
This one has so much talent it makes me cry.

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 7:48 pm

This Lad is rather clingy so the Sunday chat went all day (off and on):

Quote:

Daddyrash: honey

how are u?

honey are u sleeping

i miss your chart alot

yesterday i was so busy watching my cloths

baby happy Sunday

u have not replied me since why?

Darla: Baby its early in the morning here.

Daddyrash: i know

but when u see my message u should have replied

its ok anyway, how are u today and how was your nite?

Darla: I'm just having a cup of coffee at the moment.

Daddyrash: ok baby

AFTER A BIT

Daddyrash: honey what are u doing?

Darla: I'm just about to have a shower.

Daddyrash: ok my angel

will u be going to church today?

Darla: I might have to take Auntie Mary as she isn't all that mobile these days.

Daddyrash: whats happening to auntie mary?

she no longer chart these days

have u gone to see her?

Darla: I will after I get dressed my love.

Daddyrash: ok honey

i feel happy now u called me love

Darla: I feel more better too.

Daddyrash: really?

Omg

baby i love u so much

because u all i gat

Darla: Awww that's sweat

Daddyrash: yes honey

but honey am not too happy that i have not hear your sweet voice

Darla: Am sorry Hunny but I need to go to Auntie Mary's now. Talk soon.

Daddyrash: auntie mary gave me her number but i called the number is not going

i wanted to also talk to her and let her know i care so much about

maybe u can call me with her phone when u reach there

+DIALAMUGU

LATER

Daddyrash: honey are u there?

i want to tell u something

Darla: Am here

Daddyrash: baby do u love me?

Darla: Yes but I am busy.

Daddyrash: thats nice

pls honey give me sometime i want to tell u something

one guy sent me a request

Darla: And?

Daddyrash: he is from los angeles

and he said he is a producer and has done money films

so we were charting

and now hr said he is a gay

and that he want to

pls tell me the right word to say to him

because i already told him i have a girlfriend from atlanta

Darla: Um I'm not sure why you are talking with gay men but to each his own

Daddyrash: baby he sent me a requst

and i accepted

tell me what should i say to him

am not a gay

i like women only

many of them do talk to me

i told him u are special to me

Darla: Ok. We can talk about this later but I'm sure he is harmless.

Daddyrash: should i block him or tell him to stop talking that shit to me? or tell him to be just friend

Darla: Just be a friend

Daddyrash: ok my love

its u i love and i want in my life now and forever

pls honey do all u can so i can be with u and work in your company

honey pls try and give sometime later today when u are less busy

i feel so lonely and cold here

LATER

Daddyrash: honey

are u still busy?

Darla: I just got home Hunny. Is everything ok?

Daddyrash: yes ok baby

Darla: I thought maybe you were still worried about that Homersexual.

Daddyrash: yes baby

all i want is u and your time

Darla: You should hear back from the Admin Ass tomorrow regarding your application my love.

Daddyrash: yes honey

she told me tomorrow they will look into it

baby will u be with them when they are looking into it?

Darla: I work in another part of the complex but I do have some pull with the Company.

Daddyrash: ok

thats nice

so do all u can to push forward

LONG PAUSE

Daddyrash: honey are u there

Darla: Am here.

Daddyrash: i want to be with u as soon as possible

and u know i love u so much

i really cant wait to see u and kiss and make sweet love to u

i want to forking u all the time u need it

and satisfy u

and also be the one to take good care of u

Darla: Awwww

Daddyrash: yea

i love u baby

i want my dick so deep inside u honey

Darla: Hunny is it okay if I phone you in a few minutes?

Daddyrash: ok baby

pls call me

i will so happy

Darla: What is your number again my sweats?

Daddyrash: +DIALAMUGU

or this my second line

+DIALAMAGA

Darla: Give me ten or fifteen minutes my love as I’ve got a bun in the oven.

AFTER THE CALL FROM DARLA

Daddyrash: omg

your voice is so so sweet and sexy

thanks for the call my baby

u have maid my day

now i know u are my wife

and am happy u said u love me now

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:48 am

Quote:

Darla: Give me ten or fifteen minutes my love as I’ve got a bun in the oven.

I commend Darla on being able to get that bun out in such a short time and still have the energy to speak to her sweaty lad. Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:34 pm

This Lad seems totally hooked and I really don't even know what pisses him off yet. Hmm I must be slipping:

Quote:

4:00 AM
Daddyrash: honey are u there?
6:37 AM
Darla: Hiya
9:00 PM
Daddyrash: honey am sorry i did bot reply since
i was busy since
i miss you too my love
baby whats going on now?
Darla: Give me five minutes my love?
Daddyrash: ok baby
am here when u back let me know
Darla: Am here
Daddyrash: ok honey
baby how are you doing?
Darla: I missed you sooo bad but now am more better.
Daddyrash: o my sweet love i miss u always
u know that
am happy u are more better now
i was @the lacation since
PICTURES OF HIM TAKING PICTURES OF SOMETHING ODD
Darla: What was happening?
Daddyrash: honey its a movie
that is me there holding the camera
Darla: i recognize my sexy man silly.
Daddyrash: wow thanks baby
u are my sexy baby
my sweet wife in future
Darla: My sweatie please tell me more nicer words
Daddyrash: baby i have one million nice words to say to u
because ever since i found u, u stare up my sexy mind
and am no more single
baby u are my world
i love u so much
Darla: Awwww
Daddyrash: and i cant stay a day without thinking about u my sweet heart
u mean so much to me
and anytime i put my phone i see your pics in my screen saver
and its makes me want to make love to u
its makes me want to see u baby and kiss u all over your body
i juts cant wait to be with u so i can hold that sweet body of yours
Darla: You wouldn't believe how this is making me feel right now.
Daddyrash: really?
Darla: Baby have you spoken to the Admin Ass Anita?
Daddyrash: not really honey
but anita sent me a friend request on facebook here
and she ask me to send her message on YIM so we can chart
and also she said she saw my application form that i should meet at YIM so we can talk about it
but whes she was online i was not online because i was busy since
pls can u tell her that am online now?
Darla: She is probably sleeping now so you can try her tomorrow ok my love?
Daddyrash: ok baby
tomorrow i will
so honey have u seen her since
did she tell u anything about me or the application ?
Darla: From what I understand people are impressed by it.
Daddyrash: omg
wow thats nice
am so happy to know that
so honey u think there is hope right?
Darla: Am hoping for great things from you sweatie.
Daddyrash: thanks my love
am also thankful to u for your suppport
so baby what do u think will be the next?
Darla: I'm not 100% sure but I'd like to work on your image and maybe find you a proper stage name
Daddyrash: wow that nice
ok honey
baby what do u mean by image
Darla: I find it goes a long way if you can provide some new photographs maybe acting like an action star or something.
But let's not worry about that right now ok my love?
Daddyrash: ok baby
and honey dont u like my stage name?
daddy ralph
Darla: Oh I like it but we need to appeal to the North American audience.
I need to sleep now
Daddyrash: ok baby thats true
ok honey i trully need to sleep
and am so happy u care about me
we will do something about my stage name also
now baby before u go pls always tell me u love me
I QUICKLY LOGGED OUT

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:07 am

Another Boring chat session but trust me that will change soon enough:

Quote:

Daddyrash: honey
are u there?
Darla: Am here
Daddyrash: ok baby
i just went to take my bath
honey how was your nite?
Darla: I’ve missed you sooo bad.
Daddyrash: me too baby
u know am always thinking about u
i love you so much baby
Darla: Hunny have you spoken to the Admin Ass?
Daddyrash: no
i have been sending her message but she has not yet replied
i was going to ask u about her
pls ask her what up now?
Darla: If I bump into her later I'll ask her Hunny.
Daddyrash: ok baby
u are the best
we need to be sure as soon as possible
Darla: I'd best do some work now but will be around later my sweatie.
Daddyrash: ok honey
am on my way to a movie location when u through pls let me know
and when am in the hotel i will also alert u
LATER
Daddyrash: honey she is online now
and we are both charting
she said the company has huge insterest working with me
am so happy to hear that
baby that is a good news right?
baby are u there?
Darla: Am here but a bit busy my love.
Daddyrash: ok my love
am with anita now
and she is asking me some question
Darla: Good
Daddyrash: that i could have needed your help also
Darla: What sort of help Baby?
Daddyrash: am on it already
baby pls tell me, when she talk about payment, does she mean yearly payment?
Darla: That might depend upon your contract sweatie.
Daddyrash: ok honey
u are the best
but honey she ask what will i like to be paid ?
Darla: It might be per film or song or it could be a yearly salary but I know the pay is really good assuming several hundred thousand appeals to you?
Daddyrash: ok
thats ok baby
now my love
u are my wife to be and you should protect me
Darla: Huh?
Daddrash: so pls give me a tip of a good amount i should tell her
Darla: You ask for at least 200,000 USD to start and maybe 50,000 as a signing bonus
Daddyrash: ok
hanks my love
am still on my way to the location baby
thats why my network is waving
it 2hrs journey and am so tired here
LATER
Daddyrash: honey are u still busy
am in the town now
the shooting will start tomorrow
Darla: I'm still at work but can chat for a while.
Daddyrash: ok baby
so how are u doing my love?
Darla: I'm doing well but it is busy this time of year.
Daddyrash: yea that true
u must be stressed
sorry for the stress my love
have u eating something?
Darla: I just had a bagel and cream cheese.
Daddyrash: are u ok with that honey?
Darla: It will tide me over sweatie.
Daddyrash: ok my love
dont worry when i come am going to take good care of u
when am accepted in your company am going to make sure i make u happy all day
and always give me attention
because u deserve it
and u my sweet lovely angel
Darla: Aww
Daddyrash: yea baby
honey anita is such a nice girl
we have been charting and she ask question as interview
LATER
Daddyrash: my love are you there?
Darla: Hiya

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:47 am

Nice! What a brilliant modality, and how well you are using it!

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:21 pm

Anita and Ralph have been missing each other online since she sent him his Hitlanta application. The Piles warned that he likes to chart. It was time to let him know about his application.

Ralph: hello
Anita: Hello.
Ralph: welcome
Anita: We have huge interest in you joining our company.
Ralph: how is everything?
Anita: Very good. With u?
Ralph: o thats nice
Ralph: am so happy now
Ralph: i love it
Anita: Which area do u have interest?
Anita: And tell me about urself.
Ralph: am into rapp music and singing
Anita: Not movies?
Ralph: and also into production like audio production, music video shooting and editing
Ralph: and also i do movie shooting and editing
Anita: But not acting?
Ralph: also graphics
Ralph: yes i do act very well Twisted Evil

Anita: Do u have a portfolio?
Ralph: epic and comedy
Ralph: epic and comedy
Ralph: what do u mean by portfolio?
Anita: Samples of ur work.
Ralph: u mean a portfolio bag
Ralph: yes i have
Ralph: the are in my youtube page
Anita: Tell me what u mean by portfolio bag. Are these digital files?
Anita: Do u have a link?
Anita: I will BRB.
Ralph: when u go to Ralph , my jobs are there
Anita: Send a link.
Ralph: just type Ralph on youtube
Ralph: just type Ralph on youtube
Ralph: ok am waiting
Anita: I am back and have seen you have a few videos. They aren't exactly ideal for an American audience.
Anita: Tell me your hopes and dreams.
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: those videos are not my perfect jobs
Ralph: they are old jobs
Anita: Are you willing to make new audition videos if we provide scripts/lyrics? An audition video for acting and one as a raper?
Ralph: my dreams is to be well famous
Ralph: yes i am so ready
Anita: Monetary expectations?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: am here miss anita
Ralph: sometimes the network is slow.
Ralph: pls manage with my low network
Anita: Ok. What kind of pay do u expect?
Ralph: did u see my replies?
Ralph: pls about pay i will like to know list of pay
Ralph: because u are the boss
Ralph: what kind of pay will u people offer me and what your list of pay?
Ralph: i really love to work with your company
Ralph: pls about pay i will like to know list of pay
Anita: It is based on experience and the quality of your application and audition videos.
Anita: So we have an idea, how much money would you like to make per movie, per album, and per year?
Ralph: in the form i already said $ 50000 if that will be ok
BUZZ!!!
Anita: Per album and/or movie?
Ralph: ok
Anita: It was a question.
Ralph: pls miss anita whats your range of price do your company offer per album and movie?
Anita: Again, it depends on your audition videos. If I send you a script can you film yourself acting in scenes?
Anita: If I send an American rap video, can you create a version so we see where your talent is? TBH, and don't tell anybody I said this, your $50K is on the low side.
Ralph: ok per year in a movie, i will like to make $400000
Ralph: same in a album $400 000 as long as the company also benefit huge in my service

Notice this is double what Darla suggested. Rolling Eyes

Anita: Slow down. That's pretty high.
Ralph: ok thanks for the ideal
Ralph: i also thanks for the tip
Ralph: i will not tell any one
Anita: U didn't answer my question above.
Ralph: about your question
Anita: ?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: sorry its my slow network, yes i can do my very best if u send the america film and also if u send the music video
Ralph: pls manage the network with me
Anita: Ok. I will gather a link to a youtube version of the song (you will make it as ur version of a rap) and I will send script pages for u 2 direct, film, and act in. If these are of high quality, we can get u a contract.
Ralph: i mean if u send the script i can act
Ralph: ok
Ralph: am i going to use other cast together with me for the movie
Anita: If u desire.
Ralph: am i going to use other cast together with me for the movie
Anita: ok.
Ralph: pls miss anita , can i ask you a question?
Anita: Just don't use any innocent third parties, u know?
Ralph: pls i dont understand what u mean by, don't use any innocent third parties, u know?
Anita: Just don't involve or use anyone not ur friend.
Ralph: ok
Ralph: then am good to go, pls send me the script and the music video
Anita: Ok. It will be later today.
Ralph: can i ask u a question pls?
Anita: Yes
Ralph: can i ask u a question pls?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: ok
Ralph: i want to know how am i going to sponsor the shooting of the music and the film?
BUZZ!!!
Anita: That is up to the applicant.
Ralph: ok miss anita
Ralph: am waiting for u to send the link
Anita: Unfortunatley, we don't just fund every applicant that comes along as we would go out of business. We get many applicants every week. However, Darla said u stand out and ur application is strong.
Ralph: am happy that am going to be part of your company soon by the grace of God
Anita: There are many here that are happy about it 2. Let me finish some work and I will email u details in a bit.
Ralph: thank u for your support
Anita: The pleasure will be all ours!
Ralph: and also thanks for your concern
Anita: k
Ralph: u are a nice lady
Anita: God has made me that way!
Ralph: thate nice
Anita: HE is great!
Anita: !
Ralph: are u satisfy with my answer concerning what i will like to be paid?
Ralph: because i really did not get the question then, but i understand everything now
Anita: Well, we have a range we can negotiate after u have submitted ur audition videos.
Ralph: ok better
Ralph: thanks for your concern miss anita
Anita: NP!
Ralph: pls keep on the good work, God will bless u
Anita: I am trying 2 do the work.
Ralph: thats nicr
Ralph: pls keep on the good work, God will bless u
Anita: I am TRYING. U do realize I'm at work, right?
Ralph: alright later then

Several hours later, and after sending him music lyrics, a youtube link and an audition script with three scenes (none of which are Monty Python):

Anita:BUZZ!!!
Ralph: am here now.miss anita
BUZZ!!!
Anita: Did you receive the package?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: hi
Ralph: am here
Anita: U did not respond.
Ralph: respond to what pls?
Anita: Did u receive the email package?
Ralph: ok sorry i have not checked yet
Ralph: let me do so
Anita: k
Ralph: thanks
Ralph: yes
Anita: Do u understand all of it?
Ralph: am so happy
Ralph: yes i did understand everything
Ralph: u are so nice
Anita: So I can let the BOSS know, how long until u submit the auditions?
Ralph: pls i need to raise some money to rent equipment to achieve it
Anita: Ok.
Ralph: because equipment is so cost here
Ralph: thanks for your support
Ralph: i will do my best to prove my self
Anita: Do u have an ETA?
Ralph: but if i have any question i will ask u
Ralph: whats ETA pls?
Anita: Expected Time of Audition
Ralph: i will give u reply on that by tomorrow
Ralph: i will give u reply on that by tomorrow
Anita: Excellent. I must go eat lunch now.
Ralph: pls because am starting a movie shooting i was paid by tomorrow
Ralph: i just got to the hotel now
Anita: Why not use that equipment?
Ralph: they will not allow me to use it
Ralph: because am the camera man and also the editor, the producer rented it from another town
Anita: Ok. 2 bad.
Anita: U would think he might loan it or rent it 4 a partial charge!
Ralph: and the shooting is starting tomorrow to end in 6 days
Ralph: too bad miss anita
Anita: So it will be several weeks?
Ralph: i will not be too much weeks
Ralph: i will look for who will help me with money to sponsor it, that will make it quicker
Anita: K
Anita: We get applicants everyday, so I don't want u 2 miss this.
Ralph: pls miss anita dont allow that tp happen for me to miss it
Ralph: u have to stand for me like am your brother
Anita: I will do my best, God willing
Anita: I don't have a brother.
Ralph: i promise to always show so much appreciation
Ralph: really u dont have a brother?
Anita: I promise 2 always be God-fearing. AND I WILL HOLD U 2 THAT PROMISE!
Anita: No brother.
Ralph: but u have a sister right?
Anita: No. Lonely child.
Ralph: omg
Anita: It is God's will.
Anita: BRB
Ralph: dont worry God is family
Ralph: ok
Ralph: when you return pls alert me ok?
Ralph: i just checked in hotel now
Ralph: want to have my bath

This must be the cleanest lad out there!

Anita: K. Back.
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: am here
Ralph: i was eating alsi
Ralph: but i just finish
Anita: K
Ralph: am here
Ralph: so how was your lunch?
Anita: am still eating.
Ralph: ok
Anita: Did u shower?
Ralph: so should give u time to finish or can u chart?
Ralph: yes i did
Anita: That was fast
Ralph: yea
Ralph: i was about going inside the bath room when u said u going for lunch
Ralph: and i dont want to miss anytime charting with u
Anita: Ok.
Anita: Have u been to the US?
Ralph: no
Ralph: but i have always dream to come
Ralph: but i have friends over there
Anita: Yeah...many people dream of coming.
Anita: Oh? What do ur friends do? Any in Atlanta?
Ralph: none in atlanta
Ralph: but texas
Anita: Nice. Warm there. What part of Texas?
Ralph: i really dont know
Anita: oh
Ralph: we use to work together in nigeria before he traveled
Ralph: i use to producer him
Anita: What kind of work?
Ralph: music job
Ralph: i use to produce him
Anita: k
Ralph: u know am into audio production too
Ralph: i really dont know
Ralph: so after he traveled i still work for him
Ralph: i will produce a beat for him and send through whatsapp
Anita: Oh
Ralph: and he will voice over there and export there voices one by one through same whatsapp
Anita: Crazy.
Ralph: and i will download and lay all the voice with the beat and i will mix and master it and send it back to him
Ralph: thats how i use to produce there job
Ralph: him and his girlfriend
Ralph: i guess u saw his video in my youtube
Anita: I don't know.
Ralph: Tonto and his girlfriend own is tootsi
Ralph: ok its there
Ralph: they short the songs i did for them and send the rushes through DHL to nigeria and i edit it and send upload it on youtube
Ralph: thats how we work
Ralph: are u there?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: tell me about your self a little pls
Anita: I don't have time 2day. I am working.
Ralph: ok dear
Ralph: so let me give chance to work
Anita: Thx!
BUZZ!!!
Anita: ?
Ralph: they short the songs i did for them and send the rushes through DHL to nigeria and i edit it and send upload it on youtube
Ralph: later
Anita: Yeah. U sent that already.
Ralph: whats that?
Ralph: u said crazy, why?
BUZZ!!!
Anita: huh?
Ralph: u said crazy
Ralph: i said why?
Anita: Where and to what?
Ralph: ok u maid mistake
Ralph: it ok
Ralph: so can i stilk chart with u or i should give u time to focus on work?
Anita: I'm leaving work soon.
Ralph: ok
Ralph: when u feel like charting let me know ok?
Ralph: am just relaxing watching movies
Ralph: but its late here i will soon get some sleep
Anita: k
Ralph: am just relaxing watching movies
Ralph: am just relaxing watching movies
Ralph: am just relaxing watching movies

And now we wait for his two audition videos.

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:18 pm

Anita has finally had time to catch up with Ralph and check on his audition videos. You have to love a lad that lags.

Ralph: hello
Ralph: sorry i have been busy
BUZZ!!!
Anita: Hopefully getting your audition ready!
Ralph: i need to do it soon as possible
Ralph: i need to do it soon as possible
Anita: Only if u want 2 work for us.
Ralph: i wanted to ask u a question about the movie script
Ralph: i need to do it soon as possible
Anita: What is ur question?
Ralph: one minute pls, let me check the script
Anita: So u weren't peppered?
Ralph: ok this name of the (surprise), is not here in my country
Ralph: can i use the one we have here?
Anita: What do u have there?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: yes we have
Anita: Yes u have twat?
Ralph: i mean there was a sceen that say we both went to the (surprise), and they orthered for (surprise)
Ralph: what am saying is that, that (surprise) is not in my country
Anita: AND I AM STILL SAYING, WHAT KINDS DO U HAVE?
Ralph: if am shooting it can i use the (surprise) we have here
Anita: WHAT KIND OF (surprise)?
Ralph: ok we star (surprise)
Ralph: smooth (surprise)
Anita: Smooth (surprise)?
Ralph: etc
Ralph: so can i use any of it?
Anita: Yes, the (surprise) can be anything, but SAYING (surprise) as it is scripted is impotent! They are paying 4 product placement in the actual movie.
Ralph: ok
Ralph: ok
Ralph: thats ok
Anita: Other ???S
Ralph: no
Ralph: am ok with other things
Anita: Can u make ur version of the rape video?
Ralph: yea miss anita i can make my good version
Ralph: is just that shooting video here in my country is very expensive
Anita: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ralph: yes
Ralph: am trying to talk someone about it so fast
Anita: If it is so expensive, why r u always out filming videos, but can't complete ur audition?
Ralph: so i can rent equipment and good location for the rap video and also the script
Anita: Not relly an answer was it?
Ralph: yes
Ralph: i said we have a (surprise) called smooth (surprise) here
Anita: Right.
Anita: Yeah, but this one time at band camp. They were doing this crazy stuff and I just went and prayed. They're going to the H-place. U know?
Anita: Then here I am just going along and sum1 is talking about sumthing else cuz they don't relly understand, so I say, and relly this is the grouch's fault, but I say, "Guess what?"
Ralph: about the jobs we do here is been done by combination effort
Anita: U think we make movies and music solo?
Anita: Ur telling me things that an intern knew. U might as well tell me 2 grab a blue dress and avoid the cigar.
Ralph: i know is not solo
Ralph: but in my country here must of us do out thing on solo
Anita: Yeah. I can see u having 2 do it solo quit often. But, if that's ur thing, who am I 2 say anything?
Ralph: well am going to try my best and do it when am done with this job
Ralph: i dont understand what u said miss anita
Ralph: i dont understand what u said miss anita
Anita: Oh? Which part? I thought English 2 be ur native language.
Ralph: i dont understand what u said miss anita
Ralph: i was just looking for who to assist me financially so i can sponsor my audition
Ralph: because i need the job so much
Ralph: pls be patient for me
Ralph: am still looking for money
Anita: We don't sponsor applicants.
Anita: Which PART don't u understand?
Ralph: lol
Anita: I amuse u?
Ralph: miss anita u some how funny
Anita: Like I'm funny?
Anita: Like a clown?
Ralph: am ok with everything
Anita: Again, u refuse 2 answer. That doesn't play very well.
Ralph: all i need to do is to find a way to look for money to do my audition
Ralph: yea u funny
Anita: WHY?
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: sorry i was on set shooting
Anita: For ur audition?
Ralph: no the small job i told u i was coming to do in one camp
Ralph: why what?
Anita: Ur always behind huh?
Ralph: you know i told u i was coming to a movie job
Ralph: they will round up by friday
Ralph: so i will now go back to my my town and start preparation
Ralph: pls miss anita am not always behind, pls try and understand and protect me
Anita: Still don't understand why u don't borrow that equipment and crew.
Anita: Have them sponsor u.
Ralph: u are my good friend now
Ralph: they dont work like that here
Ralph: they will want to finish there job first
Ralph: and i must pay for equipment also
Anita: Whatevs.
Anita: I'm starting 2 fill like this is a waste of my time.
Ralph: u are my good friend now
Ralph: omg
Ralph: pls dont say that
Ralph: i need this job pls
Anita: U know what u gotta do and we won't wait 4ever. 2 many other starving artists looking for work and providing their videos.
Ralph: am serious working with Hitlanta
Ralph: pls dont say that
Anita: Hope it's in b4 we close down for Christmas.
Ralph: pls
Anita: Pls what?
Anita: It's all on u
Ralph: pls i will try befor then
Ralph: dont give up on me pls
Anita: There's no trying. U do or don't do. Period.
Ralph: pls i will do
Ralph: pls i will do
Anita: Ok, but I won't wait 4ever.
Ralph: by friday i will start arrangement
Ralph: no u wount
Ralph: i will make u proud
Ralph: am so happy u have concern on me
Ralph: promise i will make you proud
Ralph: are u on imo?
Anita: I had an hmo, but now it's geico.
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: i will right back pls
Ralph: am on set
Ralph: am shooting now
Ralph: am shooting now
Ralph: whats hmo?
BUZZ!!!

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:04 pm

Just a quick update here as I just don't like chatting with this one all that much. Sure that will change but right now he is annoying.

Either way he likes Anita, is excited about joining Hitlanta and can't quite bring himself to go for the Money Shot:

Quote:

Daddy: Honey
Darla: Hiya
Daddy: how are u baby?
Darla: Good but I miss you bad.
Daddy: i miss u too my love
Darla: Hunny tell me what is happening over your application.
Daddy: ok baby
i spoke with anita and she is was really nice
then she sent me a script for my audition
a script of three sceens
that i will be the one to produce, direct and shoot my self
Darla: Oh that's great news my love! Wow!
Daddy: yes honey its a great news
i was so happy
and she also send me a link of one music video and the lyrics of the song
she said i will have to do my own version of the song
and i will shoot a video also for my version
honey are u there?
Darla: Yes
Daddy: ok
so i am just making move on how i can raise money to do the audition project
thats what we discussed
Darla: This is so very exciting.
Daddy: yes baby
am so happy that the process has gone this far
now yesterday she was asking me if i have done it
i told her not yet that am still looking for money to produced the audition
Darla: Baby the faster you get this done the quicker you will be here with me and that's more better.
Daddy: yea honey
am so worried and sad
because i have been looking for money to rent equipment for the movie and music audition, i have not been able to raise any money
so that is my worried now
but i begged anita to be patient with me a little
so that by week end when i leave this location i can go back to my town to look for who will support me
because the equipment here is expensive
Darla: Baby everything is going to be all right. I need to go to a meeting now but will check in alter ok?
Daddy: ok honey
go well and take care
all the same am so happy that anita has been so nice

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:07 pm

Quote:

i will be the one to...shoot my self

To dream the impossible dream!

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 6:20 pm

Talking to Ralph is a bit like talking to a drunk. He's three or four comments behind and boring as can be.

Ralph: hello miss anita
Ralph: good afternoon
Anita: Hello
Anita: U have news 4 me?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: by nest week am going shoot the script
Anita: And the music?
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: sorry my network is slow
Anita: The music? When?
Ralph: i am still making move for the music
Ralph: as soon as am done with the movie, i will start making arrangement for music
Anita: Oh.
Anita:
Ralph: yea
Ralph: pls u have to be patient with me
Ralph: because its not easy
Ralph: am leaving this location by tomorrow
Anita: God never makes anything worth doing ez.
Ralph: so i can go back to my town to doing my audition because is very important
Anita: Yeah. Everyone's waiting. We might have to move on.
Ralph: am going to be serious about it
Ralph: because i need the job
Ralph: and i really love to work with your company
Anita: Yeah. You've said that. ALOTS OF TIMES!
Ralph: yes because am so serious
Anita: Why so serious?
Ralph: because i need it
Ralph: i need to work it ur company
Anita: Like I said, we have others that have applied and received their auditions. I do hope you hurry before we close up for the holidays.
Ralph: i need to work it ur company
Anita: Then you know what u need 2 do.
Ralph: ok miss anita
Ralph: i know what to do
Ralph: i have to do it fast
Anita: I agree.
Anita: But quality is important.
Ralph: ok miss anita
Ralph: i will do my best
Anita: What will u do when u get 2 Atlanta?
Ralph: i am going to make everyone be proud of my
Ralph: i mean make everyone be proud of me
Ralph: and also work and be progressive
Anita: Prog rap and acting huh? I mean are u bringing ur family and wife here?
Ralph: and by the grace of God make Hitlanta be proud to have an artist like me in the company, because i am coming to give my best and let the whole world celebrate me and my company Hitlanta
Ralph: i am not yet married miss anita
Anita: So u just skip my question?
Ralph: i am still single
Anita: Hmmmmm
Anita: So u will be looking 4 groupers?
Anita: There r piles of groupers for actors and rapers here.
Anita: Piles of Oscars for great actors 2~
Anita: !
Ralph: ok
Ralph: u will tell me more about it
Anita: Why r u single?
Ralph: and am going to get the group there
Anita: What group? Ur bringing a group now?
Ralph: i am going to make everyone be proud of my
Anita: The piles of Oscars can be really difficult to explain but they are rewards for what u do in the industry. The groupers r easier, but I don't approve.
Ralph: no
Anita: U said ur getting the group here.
Ralph: am not bringing any group
Anita: Then why did u say it?
Ralph: say what miss anita
Ralph: ?
Anita: This==>am going to get the group there
Ralph: u mean u want me to get my group here?
Anita: Is there a chance you have foreign substances in your body right now. NO. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. It's all nevermind now. Whatevs.
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
Anita: I keep buzzling u and u don't answer. Kinda like when I ask u questions.
BUZZ!!!
Ralph: sorry about the delay
Anita: ?
Ralph: my battery went off
Ralph: i like it when u ask questions
Ralph: its shows to me that u truly care about
Anita: I dislike, to the utmost of dislikeity that u fail 2 respond. It's sumthing kids do.
Ralph: me working with your company
Anita: And u never relly read what I write.
Anita: Like ur distracted, charting with sum1 else.
Ralph: no not charting with any one else
Ralph: sometimes am on set shooting
Anita: Whatevs
Ralph: ok be rigth back so i can chart very well with u
Ralph: you are my good friend and i know u will always understand me
Anita: U sure know a ton, huh?

A Fowl For Love - Wooed, Screwed, and Tattooed (NSFW)	View next topic View previous topic