Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

^^^^ what's the odd 3,774, 996.25 between friends?

Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 2:56 am

From a script I just posted:

Quote:

THE WORLD BANK GROUP,
15TH FLOOR, NEWZERLAND HOUSE HAYMARKET
LONDON SW1Y 4TE, ENGLAND

Funny thing, the email passed through New Zerland. Anyone want to foist "Switzealand" on a lad?

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 9:43 pm

He has my name as WHAT?!?!

Quote:

Remember i told you about certificate which i have paid my part and i don't have the balance of $240, I have your name as the NEST OF SKIN on every certificate .

[capitalization is the lad's]

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:38 am

Jonah Fred of Interpol revealed something that should have us terrified.

Quote:

Further to wiretapping out scampers from this region, we have had some bottle-neck in the fight against scampers as most of them have gone nuclear.

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

James Coker Of DHL reckons

Quote:

DHL Express is a well-established company offering courier and transport services 48hour a day

Glad I don't work for them with those long days

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:35 am

Please note that i am President General Muhammadu Buhari are under special instigation

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

^^^^^ I'm dealing with a lad claiming to be Gen. Buhari (who is the new Nigerian President too. Here is some goofy crap from my lad.

Quote:

then I will ask DockYard Police
to pick you up hence EFCC and FBI and Dockyard Police are working
together to combat crimes and criminalities aro9und the world.

I assume he means "Scotland Yard"!

Quote:

So if you love yourself and you do not want to die in Jail, just STOP
any further communications with the Money Launderers and international
scammers that calls themselves fake Vice President and URGENTLY SEND
the $17,750 dollars to EFCC Chairman unfailingly tomorrow morning

Quote:

You are owing me apology or David Cameron will hear this ok.

Quote:

Stop giving rooms to the devils to come in,

And the latest gem.

Quote:

do not EXPOSE your payment to every dick and harry ok

Doubly goofy because 'dick' has a second meaning in the UK.

Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 2:53 am

Received today from Mr Paul at Dayton Airport Security detail:

Quote:

I am sorry but the TSA will not allow us to photograph the consignment box for you in the event that you are illegentament.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 3:31 am

Does he mean, "illegally intelligent?" Laughing

That must be a crime somewhere....

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 12:21 pm

@pete

Quote:

do not EXPOSE your payment to every dick and harry ok

Quote:

Doubly goofy because 'dick' has a second meaning in the UK.

Would that second meaning be "Spotted Dick"?

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 12:41 pm

Quote:

Would that second meaning be "Spotted Dick"?

No, it's Richard. Wink

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:03 am

Retrieved one of my old baiting email accounts from days gone by to reuse and found these gems:

From Svetlana:

Quote:

I feel myself like a newborn kitten who has even didn't open it's eyes!

From Mrs Kellie Hawkin of the London Scottish Bank:

Quote:

...we keep trying to let you know that the 7.2 millions in funds have been in our suspense account....

From Barr Jones Maxwell, CBN

Quote:

What you said just got to me as a big blow....I would not endulge myself in any form of illegitimacy.

(Edited to include:)
I haven't accessed this email account in 7 years...looks like the attached pix and dox are gone Sad

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:59 pm

From another lad who couldn't get to this receipt <receipt.jpg>

Quote:

Okay i understand this is fowl play,
i thought am talking with real men

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 3:14 pm

Posted elsewhere, but I have been called many things via Eater and RL, but this is new!

Quote:

You are acting three in one I really know whom you are..Three in one means,Devil,Satan and Lucifer. That is who you are..

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 6:08 pm

Quote:

you should include that with your small size passport photocopy because my time is expensive to spend on daily matters like without coming to conclusion and achievement. Please, I do not mean an international passport!

What kinda passport does he mean? Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:07 pm

Quote:

...sorry for my late response to your message, its due to my little malaria, Well, Yes , Yes , Yes The Mail is for you...

Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:23 am

Quote:

once you send the needed fees within 1:30mins your first payment of $5000.00 will be send to you without any further delay.

Now, that's what I call fast service! MoneyGram is trying to outdo themselves. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 10:18 pm

Quote:

Thanks very much for making a proper fool at yourself sir

Quote:

you will makes used of your brain and truly effects
this payment and stopped this foolish plays of yours for once okay

Lad can't take a joke.

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 6:18 pm

This recovery scammer tickles my funny bone

Otherwise, it's your everyday Nigerian pos of a scammer, nothing new here.

Quote:

I received your massage and after reading I felt for you. Actually criminals have made you lost your family but I promise to restore everything back provided you follow my instructions.

Also I will be very happy to receive the names, phone and address of the people you sent money with evidence of payment.

Waiting for your response

So now I'm doing what again? Free Massages?

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 7:18 pm

Quote:

There are no risk in this business, I made the Necessary arrangement to be safe preferred location. I will assume that you are able to manipulation of an agreement of this Magnitude and trust you to maintain absolute secrecy confidentiality and protect this great achievement. At least 4 days enclosure must be in your Possession, if you're in your note part. Also co-operating, I have precautionary measures to ensure the money Will paid to you I'll give you 50% cash out of the $300 million united states dollars and take 50% for my self.I believe this is a fair deal. Write me back with below information so that we can get started.

Banking Deities...........................

It's been a while since I took mythology. Anyone remember who the banking deities are? Loki? Baal?

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:35 am

^Not knowing much about other deities, the only one I can think of is Mammon, if that's actually a deity.

^^You massaged the lad if you felt like it. But was it wool that you felt like felting?

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 11:05 pm

Another Barrister that is upset because I dropped him after two bank accounts:

Quote:

I don't know why you chose to keep silent on my messages and i am not happy with that. If their is anything wrong you should have told me so that i will know what is going on, I have send you several messages and still you keep silent why. Remenber that i have spend alot to get the documents sent to you and all because of your promise. Now you just don't care to ask or to follow on this project why. I you are not ready kindly let me know and aswell explain to Doris too.

Regards,

Barr. Michael Kuffor.

Everyone on three...
one...
two...
three...

POOR BABY!!!!!!
Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:48 am

@vonpaso xlura - Indeed it was wool, but in this case I think it might just be a wolf in a sheep's clothing. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:34 pm

Got to love a Happy Lad:

YOU ARE A DEAD MAN IN THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS AS I DO NOT TALK TOO MUCH. I
WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT MINT TO BE AN IGBO MAN. JUST SEVEN DAYS YOUR
FAMILY WILL FIND YOU DEAD WITHOUT ANY SICKNESS. JUST BECUASE YOU DO
NOT KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR BRAIN IS, CONSIDER YOURSELF A DEAD MAN WITHIN
THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS. I WILL SEND ORACLE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TO
TORMENT YOUR PEOPLE,I WILL SEND OGUN, OYA, SANGO,OBATALA,OBATARISA
,SANPONO, OFO EMI ILE, GBIGBONA, OLODE, ESU, AND IKU OJIJI TO YOU AND
YOUR FAMILY I WILL LAY AMBUSHMENT IN YOUR HOUSE SOONEST. REALL BLOODY
MONKEY VILLAGE CHAMPION MUMU LIKE YOU. U WANT TO DIE B4 UR APPOINTED
TIME. ONWU IKE GBUO GI NA EZI N' ULO GI. OGAGHI ADIRI GI MMA NA
NDU.DON'T TALK STUPID THINGS ANY HOW AS YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO IS WHO. UR
MATE DON DIE FINISH 4 MONKEY WORLD! UR PAPA HIV DON DIE 4 MONKEY
WORLD! FUCKIN MUMU LIKE U! YOU ARE A STARK ILLITERATE, EDUCATED BY A
HE-GOAT WITH GOAT SHIT INSIDE UR HEAD. INSTEAD OF FUCKING YOUR OWN
MOTHER AND BROTHERS MAD GOAT GO FUK YOUR SMELLING GORO PIT ASHAWO
SISTHEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUGU IDOT FOOL U AR NOW DEAD MAN

DO U KNOW I PAY CHIEF DAAGBO HOUNON HOUNA IN OUIDAH PRAYS AND A
BENEDICTION BEFORE SACRIFICING CHICKENS ON DEALTAR FOR U TO GO BLIND.
MR DEATH COME KNOCK UR DOOR IN SEVEN NIGTS N MAY SPIRITS KISS U
TOEVELASTIN HELL AND DAMNATON ON THIS I SWEAR GOODBY U ARE SOON DEAD
YOU ARE MAD NOT TO KNOW THAT AS A RENOWNED INTERNATIONAL CHIEF WITH
WIDE KNOWLEDGE ON MYSTICISM I CAN REMOTE CONTROL YOUR INNER MAN TO
YIELD TO COMPLETE MADNESS. I AM A MAN WITH ALIEN EXTRAORDINARY ABILTIY
I WILL SHOW YOU THE POWER OF IGBO MAN AND IGBO PEOPLE AS I STRIKE U
DEAD. ODE BURUKU, OLOSHE, OLORIBU, IYALAYAEH, MUMU LIKE YOU. FROM
RIGHT NOW WE ARE WATCHING ALL YOUR ACTIVITIES FROM OUR SPIRITUAL RIVER
BASIN RIGHT HERE IN THE HEART OF OUR SHIRINE. MY JUJU GON DEAD YOU
WITH DEATH. WE SACRIFICE TO JUJU SHRINE TO COURSE YOU! JUJU WILL BE ON
YOU FOREVER! I GO PRAY TO JUJU RIGHT NOW 2 CURSE YOU AND YOU PIKINS.
SPIRITUAL FATHER.

KING JUJU
+2348162058766

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:56 pm

^^^ Geez He's sending an army. (Hope they bring a sack lunch too..... Very Happy

)

Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread	View next topic View previous topic