The Man With 2 Last Names

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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 2:13 pm

Jones miller and Ember met on Facebook. At first he told her that he didn't have an email account Rolling Eyes

but changed his tune when she said that it was a shame you they couldn't be more than friends then. His page has since been killed.

Hihi Miller!

So glad that you made time for me on your email! You seem very nice and I would like to know more about you!

I will be 40 in a week and I keep very busy. I own a turtle ranch and have partial ownership in an auto-parts store chain and those take up much of my time. I like to be outdoors and I enjoy being near the water. I live in St. Cloud Florida and that helps me be near many things I enjoy!

Both of my parents are still together and have lived in St. Cloud, Florida, their whole lives. They own a chain of auto-parts stores that I work at occasionally if they are short people. My brother Brice is 42 and married and he and his partner Alex also live in St.Cloud as well with his partner Alex. Right now they are expecting their first child via surrogate. We are all very excited and their surrogate is a lovely woman. How do you feel about gays being married and having children? Brice and Alex travel up and down the East Coast to keep an eye on my parents' stores. We all own an equal share, but I still think of it as Mom and Dad's stores since I mostly work on my ranch lol.

There is quite a bit about me. Now how about you? Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hugs!
Ember

Quote:

whoa you said you would be 40 in a week but yet you are always busy that shows you are a very hard working woman,i like that and about about gay marriage?actually i have not taken any interest in the gay discussions or whatever but since you are asking dear,i think there is nothing anyone can do about them and i consider a joke to hear that they are not welcome in some countries.these people do not create themselves so i think they deserve to be showed love wherever they find themselves and so happy to hear your brother is expecting his first child from a lovely woman..and about me am currently 42 years of age,i live in reading,England currently,i fly jet but then i am investor,i invest in buildings..i love swimming and going to watch movies with my family,i lost my wife three years ago and since then have been practically single.that all about me now.so are you in relationship currently?tell me about it

Hugs!

Hello!

Do you go by Jones or Miller?

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. That makes me very sad to hear that. Do you mind if I ask you how you lost her? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I think that it would help in the building of whatever our relationship with each other will be. You had no children? You say you enjoy going to movies with your family. Is that children, parents or siblings?

You fly jets? How cool is that?! Do you own your own jet or did you fly for an airline company? I fly often for turtle shows and auto shows. Perhaps you could fly me! How does investing in a building work? What are you investing in, exactly? Do you make money off of rents paid to work in your buildings? Are they offices or apartments? I think that owning an apartment building would make me nuts! One of my dreams is to own a an old school and fill it with eclectic shops.

I am not sure if you quite understood me. Alex is my brother's husband. They are gay and they found a woman who would carry a baby for for them. Their sperm was all shaken up and put in a turkey baster, so they won't actually know which one of them is actually the father and they wouldn't have to have sex with a woman.The woman, Melissa, is very fertile and has received the sperm and she is now carrying the baby for them. They will both be present at the baby's birth and she will hand it over after it to them. My family is very supportive of Brice and Alex and we cannot wait to welcome their child to our family! We are also very supportive of Melissa. She will always have a place in our family, if she so desires one.

I am not in a relationship at the moment. I am waiting for for the right might man. He has not been easy to find because I a, quite independent and don't really go out much to places where I might find him.

If you love the water, you would love it here in Florida. I live on a lake, but it is full of gators, so I wouldn't recommend swimming here, but my parents own a beach house in Boca Raton. It is right on the ocean. You walk out the door and there you you are! Right on the beach! Dad has a few boats, so if fishing or water boarding is your thing, it's all readily available!

And, yes! I will be 40 next Saturday. I am heading to Washington state next this week to celebrate with an old friend friend. I am very excited! It will be so much fun to spend time with her!

Cheers!
Ember

Quote:

hello dear
i go by the name Jones,and about my wife,it really okay and there is nothing for you to be sorry about besides it been quite long and i have already moved on,am going to tell you exactly how i lost her because for us to have a perfect relationship,we have to be sincere with each other at least,i hope we get along really well,am really i meet someone like you here,i must be really lucky because i had just gotten into Facebook before i saw you and am really glad our friendship has started to blend well enough.

back to how i lost my wife,she died in an auto crash,am lost at word how it happened even up to this very moment,a truck driver ran into her car after losing its break,it really one of the painful moments in my life but anyways i have moved on like i said earlier..about the movies,whenever i travel to see my parent,i really love going to see movies with them,my mum especially love movies and whenever we go we go along with some family friends.

And yeah i fly jet but not my own jet or whatever. you fly for turtle shows and auto shows?whoa that really cool,Perhaps i would fly you someday dear,you ask how investing in building works??well investing in buildings,i get contracts with some construction company and i pay them half to build apartments mostly and some times offices,,some when these apartments or offices are taken i get my money and also settle the construction company their remaining benefits,so it like a deal,i pay you half to build and when these buildings are sold i pay you the remaining and most time too,i do take loans from bank to execute all these plans sometimes..

well then dear,that all for now,i hope i was able to answer all your questions,i also would really love to put a call through to you at least,could you do me the hon ours of dropping your mobile number??i would also would really love to see some pictures of you if don/t mind....

would be expecting your write up....stay fine always dear

Hi there! I have had a crazy few days that has even included a trip to an emergency veterinary clinic for my dog last night! I have been trying to get my ranch ready for me to fly out to Oregon to see a dear friend and celebrate my birthday this weekend. I fly out tonight and I will be home on Sunday night and will be able to send you an email on Monday. I just wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that you are very much on my mind and not forgotten!

I cannot send you a mobile number because I don't have one. I know... Crazy, right? But I wear hearing aids and cell phones and most land lines make them ring like crazy and I can't hear a thing. Hopefully this is not a problem. I am proud of how I am able to work around my disability!

Talk to you soon!
Cheers!
Ember

Quote:

hey dear,nice to always hear from you,but then with happened to your dog that warranted you visiting the veterinary clinic at night?i know i can be with you to celebrate your birthday but then there is one thing i can do and that is to wish a safe trip to Oregon and also a wonderful birthday celebration and also hope you celebrate another additional year to your age next year.
Really sad i can not speak with you on phone dear but then i would love you to send me some pictures of you,i really feel good knowing you that i am very much in your mind and not forgotten.....
Have a lovely week dear and always take care of yourself dear

Jones sends me a link to a video with the song and the lyrics to "For the First Time" by Kenny Loggins.

Quote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR5BiLaoLrA

So I sent him what is quite possibly the worst song video on youtube.

Dear Jones,

Thank you so much for the lovely song! I will listen to it often and think of you!

I had such a lovely time in Oregon! It was so nice to spend time with my dear friend and I had such an awesome birthday!

My poor Odie had a bad reaction to his vaccine that he had been given earlier in the day by his regular veterinarian. By evening, his face was all swollen up and his poor little body was covered with hives. He was breathing heavy so I had to be sure that his airway was not being affected by the swelling in his face. It was very scary. He is doing very well now!

I miss you very much and this is how I feel Without You.

Hugs!
Ember

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 3:00 pm

Had to poke him. Was it the song? Laughing

Dear Jones,

Have not heard from you for a few days so I hope you are well. What have you been up to? Anything fun? I have been staying very busy, myself! Hope to hear from you soon. Let me know what you are up to!

Cheers!
Ember

Jones gets snippy with Ember.

Quote:

hello dear,how are you doing?yeah i have not been around,i travel led to Scotland for an important meeting,good to be back anyway.you have been busy?what have you been up to lately dear?

But then dear am really not happy with you,common dear i asked for your pictures,you did not send it,okay the phone number i get that,you gave me a good reason why we can not speak on phones,that accepted and it okay with me dear,but really i need you to send me some of your pictures,i really have to be sure about us,about our relationship,i really want this to work out between us but am not so certain what your thoughts are dear,i really would love to know

Ember snaps back. Too harsh? I am still learning. Confused

Sent him my facebook pic and a corrupt file.

Hello Jones,

I am extremely put off by your tone. You are unhappy with me? Well where are my pictures of you? It goes both ways, you know and you would do well to remember that about relationships. I simply forgot to attach the files. We are off to a rocky start if you get upset over something minor and petty like pictures. I am very busy and stuff happens. Simply remind me next time rather than chastising me like a child.

As I said, I have been very busy. I have government wildlife preservation contracts to fill. Eggs are hatching. Eggs are being laid. We are branching out into young alligators. And finally, I have a group of 10 high school students starting internships here this week.

How have you been? What are you up to? I hope all is well with you.

Cheers!
Ember

I still get a really nice apology! And 2 pics!

Quote:

hello dear,

Actually i never meant it the way you see it,am sorry both ways if you felt bad,i actually thought you were just holding back,i never knew you forgot to attach the files,could not help but notice the picture you sent is still the picture i have of you and the other seem not to open,anyways am not gonna ask again,since you actually see it as petty things,it cool since we got to see our-self a million times..why i was really obsessed with the picture as you might have notice is actually because when i talk about you to my mum,all she seem to be interested in is really if i have any pictures of you,so that was why i was kinda chastising you like a child,am really sorry about that....

with all what you saia about you having a government wildlife preservation contracts,pretty much seems like you have an already busy scheldule,anyway always take care of yourself and do not work too hard and about me am really really working on making sure that am awarded contract by the government to to build a shopping complex in middlesbrough,,so all parties involved with me are really working hard to land the contract,it not always easy so many companies vying for the same spot.....

here are some pictures of me,i hope we do not have issues again over minor things again,love always Jones.

Dear Jones,

Things here are crazy busy, just like I like it! We have been shipping out turtles like mad. Thank goodness we now have the group of interns. They are all great kids and I am happy to have them here. This is the first year that I have ever opened my ranch up to the local high school students for job shadowing.

How are you doing with your contract? Any progress?

Waiting to hear from you!
Cheers!
Ember

He increased the size of his font so I wouldn't miss his request for money.

Quote:

hello dear,

well really glad to hear things are a bit crazy over there just the way you like it,well my contract i think my situation is pretty bad right now, both health-wise and financially. I'm pretty depressed a bit...Things are improving though (I hope!). I'm taking steps to get better (and I live in a country where it's not going to be a financial burden for me), so that's good, I guess. I'm entitled to financial support from the state and but it will take weeks, maybe a months for it to materialize
The problem is, I need money now, to start up with everything needed. I have friends and relatives that are relatively well off and I'm going to ask them for help. I hate this. I hate being this leech who asks for their hard-earned money. But I don't want to loose this contract,it is the biggest i have ever received. So, I'm going to ask.(Also, it's not possible for me to get a loan from a bank currently because two months back i received a loan for the building of a residential home but then it is all built, but people do not just move into newly built home,so it will pretty much take a bit of time..that what investing is all about,with time you get to make everything back,that the bright side in all these.
Additional problem is that this is not the first time. The last time I asked was several years ago, so I'm not constantly asking for money, but I've done it before. I've always paid back as soon as I could (within few months usually), but it's not a good thing and I'm very ashamed already. This is a mess of my own making, I know,,,i think i was not really ready for something as big as this.,,I know, it's bad to ask money from friends and family, but I'm so scared right now and I don't see any other way. And please don't analyze my tone or writing style too much...
that all from my side now,really crazy,but not the way i like it,am glad you are doing quite better than i am over here,how is the Easter celebration over there?tell me how you celebrated it,take care dear

LOTS OF LOVE DEAR

Hihi Jones!

What type of building is it for? Tell me about the project and how much you think you will need. I have never heard of anyone paying for a contract before. My accountant with want info on it. He is more likely to OK it if it is an investment and not just lending you money. Plus the proper notarized promissory note and debt investment agreements. I have no clue what I am talking about.

I can't promise you anything because my accountant is my uncle in charge of my trust fund and that is where all of my money comes from. I can't take it out of my turtle ranch for personal reasons.

I hope you had a good Easter! I spent mine with my parents and we sat around in a food coma. That is all we care about for Easter. The food and candy. We don't believe in God, or Jesus rising, or any of that science fiction mythology stuff. We just believe in Karma and being good people.

Cheers!
Em

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 3:09 pm

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 83

I wonder if this last message is mostly a cut and paste job because the writing is better than the average lad-speak. In fact, it sounds like it was written by a different lad (compared to the one who wrote the first few messages). I wonder if it's different lads or just that this last one was mostly copied script.
If it was actually written by one them...his writing is pretty darn good (and could more easily fool unsuspecting victims). Sad

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 1:15 am

http://ask.metafilter.com/182257/How-do-I-ask-for-money-from-people-who-care-about-me-in-a-way-that-makes-it-easy-for-them-to-refuse

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 1:58 am

Good catch to both of you! Surprised

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 8:04 am

Is that a call for Ch3tham or Roscoe?

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 83

Well I'll be damned.
I do have to say though...he did a pretty good job of just picking out selected passages (from that metafilter article) that would fit and blended them nicely with his own writing to form a cohesive message. I've often seen them mix well-written copy with glaring lad-speak...or...they will select copied passages that don't really fit smoothly into the content. But this one looks pretty good to me.

I pay attention to the level of literacy...probably because that would have been a huge vulnerability for me...if I'd ever run into scammers. So it really stands out to me if a message sounds particularly fluent and well-written. I see the really fluent lads as by far the most dangerous....and luckily, they are not the majority.
I've seen a very select few who I think might even be able to fool me now...even with all I know.

I'm really curious to see further messages from this guy/gang.

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 2:26 pm

I didn't see it. Hopefully, as time goes on, I will get better at noticing. Confused

@Capone I was thinking it was Uncle Roscoe. He can still live in my guest house, but I think he is going to be my accountant instead of my housekeeper for now. Isn't Uncle Ch3tham a lawyer? Do you suppose Roscoe and Ch3t are brothers? Or married? lol

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 6:14 am

Quote:

the building is a new created Estate housing project which are under the control of Shell oil company it involves millions of Dollars which i cant explain to you cos we need to meet each other , so as to see things by your self . the contract is a profitable one in which any professional contractor will like to do . actually i went for the program and interview on it . but they made it clear that they want a professional contractor , who can start up the contract in line with the condition that after 3 months the make the first mobilization fee . i was having it in mind then that before now i will be able to have a comply from my client ,but till now i have never had any comply from them , and now the company has issue me the contract Award certificate letter , and a go a head order to carry on with the project

Hihi Jones!

Thank you for the long and winding email. I think I understand what you are saying. My accountant is going to want that promissory note notarized for the $3661.28. Should we call it an even $3700? It makes more sense and I will be able to remember it easier. Send the promissory and your bank account info and I will see what my accountant says.

Love,
Em

Quote:

<snipped 2 very long and gushy walls of text>

my lawyer Barrister JOAN was able to draft the promissory note which has every information of me , my home telephone number, address and my name on it which i signed . my dear , i care for your understanding and your help as i will not exceed the time to pay it back to you please ,the account information is there in the promissory not that which i signed . my dear due kindly help me and i promise to give it at due time as we have our love relationship in common . thanks . i love you from Jones Miller

Quote:

he copy of the promissory note . i hope to hear from you when you , i hope to have the paper work or the receipt teller of the payment to the account . thanks

I will get it to my accountant tomorrow to see what he says. Hope you are doing well!

Love,
Em

There is no notary stamp or even RSOT. Do I slap him?

Quote:

Hello Dear,

well right now knowing actually that you are my shining light right now,it makes me really happy currently..i know you told me you can not get the fund out even if you wanted because your funds are controlled by your uncle,irrespective of what the outcomes pans out to be,i really am asking for your help personally,please do all in your efforts to help me get the fund,like i said earlier you are my only shinning light...i really appreciate all your efforts so far and i am really lucky to have someone like you

and also appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to write me..am really lucky to have you dear...

when you do make the payment dear,do let me know and if possibly you attach the receipt in my mail dear..i hope you are doing fine dear and not being stressed much??

Love always

Dear Jones,

How are you? I haven't gotten to show your promissory note to my uncle yet because he was called out of town on urgent notice. Hopefully he will be back today. His secretary knows to give him my message the moment he walks in the door.

Tell me more about the project. I will get this end taken care of as quickly as possible.

Well, I am off to scoop turtle poop. I sell it to the local farmers as fertilizer.

Love you!
Em

Quote:

Hello dear,

I am really so happy getting to hear from you once more after quite long,i really have been so mad because i had no other means to get to hear from you and also had no ideal what was happening,i mean i was thinking maybe you were sick or something like that,glad it was not actually thinking and you are fine am happy now..

About your experience before and after you went to Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg,i had had such experience,talking about not having much time to prepare for something and having someone continuously laying on his horn,it is always annoying and i totally understand you..

I really missed you more dear,am glad you are back,and about my project it has to be done before this month runs out but then like i said i am glad to hear from you once again love,thank you for everything,writing back immediately you are back,you have no ideal how happy i am writing you now....

Please do inform me when your uncle makes the payment dear..love you so much.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqODbP1T3nk He sent me the song Hotel California. What could he mean by that? I mean, I was once told the song was about suicide. Confused

Dearest Jones,

I have missed you so much! I seem to have a ghost in my machine and my laptop is possessed. I may have to buy a new one and call in an expert to exorcise my electronics. Can you read Latin?, you might be able to. I checked google translate and that seems to be the language my keyboard keeps typing in. Also, I can only type sinistrally. JESU DULCIS PUERULUS! PROIN MEI MOUSE PETEBAT CHIHUAHUA!!! I need help!

I love you so very much!
Ember

I may lose him with this message, but he is pretty dull anyhow.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:05 pm

Quote:

JESU DULCIS PUERULUS! PROIN MEI MOUSE PETEBAT CHIHUAHUA!!!

So funny, that made my day Cool

I hope he will be back.......

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

Quote:

There is no notary stamp or even RSOT. Do I slap him?

The borrower sig is different to his printed name, oh and a good slap is due for that and the no seals etc.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 2:21 pm

Wouldn't that be lad education? It might be better to let him keep on going with mistakes as obvious as these....just my opinion Wink

Posted: Fri May 15, 2015 3:25 am

^^^Very good point I will be forgiving him maybe tomorrow. BTW @MountainGoat... He is very concerned about my keyboard typing in Latin. Laughing

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