| Author |
Message |
Mrs.Fahrenheit
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 15 Dec 2014
Posts: 13
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 Posted:
Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:22 am |
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Hi! As I said before, I'm new in this forum and I already love it. =P
For those who didn't read my presentation, I apology if my English is not the best cause' it's my second language.
About me, I'm a girl who likes to piss off stupid or nasty people, and I discovered scammers like 2 or 3 years ago. As you can imagine I've been wasting their time every chance I got (like 5 so far).
I'll write in bold as me, (when I need to add a note or something).
Keep in mind this is a current mail exchange, so I'll be updating it as long as it goes. I know I have an acid, black, sarcastic sence of humour, so please be aware that I'm just only joking and none of the things I say when scambaiting must be taken seriously. I really have fun of saying nonsenses or pulling the wool over eyes.
Well, my intro is being too long, haha.
Now about the scambait:
This time is a "beautyful lady" who is a refugee in a camp.
I'm sharing "my work" with some friends who also have fun reading me, so this time I chose to be "Professor Jirafales".
For you to understand better why it's funny, Professor Jirafales is a secondary character of an old comedy tv show for children very popular in South America. We grew up watching that.
And the professor was a funny man, who flirted with "Mrs. Florinda" in the show.
All the rest of the story you'll read here is invented by me, which makes this even funnier. But since it's a real character, I can use real pictures of Professor Jirafales.
One last thing, in the show, "Professor Jirafales" was called by his students as "Professor Longaniza" when they were mocking of him. That was because he was very tall. (The show was for kids  )
In English, "Longaniza" is "Sausage", and for my purpose, it's also funny for being like a sexual reference.
Ok, let's go, I hope you enjoy and laugh as much as I do!:
_______________________________________________________
Me:
| Quote: |
Hello, aswering to you
You asked me to send a mail to you. You contacted me via facebook.
What's going on?
Regards |
___________________________________
Happiness to me:
__________________________________________________________
Me to Happiness:
| Quote: |
Oh darling! Hello! I've been so touched by your story, I can't imagine how much pain you have been through. It's so so sad, you are a strong woman, darling.
You are a really shiny star in life, a person who worth it. I'm so glad for you that you survived and now have a new life!
Also, it's awesome that you have computers and internet in your camp.
Back in my days, when I used to go camping, we barely had a torch and a fishing rod.
You asked me to tell about me. Well, I'm a profesor, I teach in a School.
Please call me "Profesor Jirafales". My children at school sometimes say me "Master Longaniza", in a lovely way. I love so much my kids! The year is ending, and I will promote them, oh, I know I'm going to miss those kids. But next year I will meet other. I'm profesor of third grade.
On the personal side, I'm 52 years old. I'm a tall men. I live in a beautiful country in América.
I was married with a lovely woman named Florinda, but unfortunately, she died 7 years ago. Those were truly sad days of my life. So much pain. Now I'm better, and working in a school makes a meaning of life for me. She was a good woman, we didn't have kids, so I'm a lonely man.
She died of the most weird way. We used to go to the beach on holidays, and this is almost unbelievable, a coconut fell over her head, and she died in the moment. Very traumatic days of my life. So, in a way, I know your pain of loosing a person you love, my darling.
Well, what else... nowadays I like to play guitar as a hobby. Is very relaxing. Do you play any instrument? I love music.
Tell me more about you, about your hobbies and what you like, please!
I send you some photos of me. In one, I'm playing the guitar to my mom, she is the only family I've got. A strong woman as well, but very old. She had breast cancer, so they had to remove they boobs away, but it's a common surgery and she is very good and healthy now. Do you like my mom? I think she would like you.
I'll write you again, I promise darling
Be strong!
Jirafales.
https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10857944_10204960711194602_5475399719561033399_n.jpg?oh=3ec5a703fce1387d33b5f4357891ccf2&oe=553E0CB5
me 6.jpg
https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10420369_10204960711674614_8825615726056098023_n.jpg?oh=5d942346d606cc2f3e0859aaeedfc092&oe=550C4DCB
florinda and me.jpg
https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10410521_10204960712874644_3366945472163766158_n.jpg?oh=79efc491a326df5e0448ee3c35cf2d70&oe=550A989E
me.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10847924_10204960714474684_7622638038233227159_n.jpg?oh=1a3e88845fa72d9339d2897850c86a18&oe=5510596C&__gda__=1425708666_2dc91dfe09897a452c7a9379842769f8
jirafales.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/1779800_10204960713474659_7589207294884013228_n.jpg?oh=007ceae59eb9485d8d36290333c8d122&oe=55401227&__gda__=1426556560_996076da1463775fd60d594a6f849070
playing guitar.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/1620988_10204960714954696_4040618919586656589_n.jpg?oh=edc7ff2e975dbabac0505a58b8d2f4d8&oe=54FD57BE&__gda__=1430159157_d665f351b5fde6928c63d352ed314555
with mom.jpg
The funny thing here is that "my mom" is a man, the principal character in the tv show.
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Happiness to me:
| Quote: |
I CAN WAIT TO KISS YOU MY KING
I really wished we are together making Christmas cleaning together my love. I'm glad to hear that you are fine with pup.. I am also doing good with my condition here as well. my darling. From the moment that I laid eyes on you, I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life loving you. The days have turned and we are going to be together soon. Nothing and no one could bring me the happiness that you do and until I die, I will spend my life trying to prove it to you and make you the happiest man alive. I don't think there are any words strong enough to explain how I feel about you; I know saying I love you is very powerful yet I feel it's not enough. You are everything to me - in books, songs, poems, television and whatever else. People compare loved ones with the sun, moon, and stars but to me you don't compare to any of that because you're so much more than just that. When I say that your everything I mean your the air that I breath, the light in my life, the reason I get up everyday. If it wasn't for you, that smile you see on my face every day and the glow I have in my cheeks wouldn't be there. You truly are my life and there is no one I would rather spend my life with than you. I love you more than words could ever say my angel.you know my condition here i can wait to see you face to face but i don't have passport to comeover there i know one day our dream shall come true with kiss and hug |
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Me to Happiness:
| Quote: |
Hey Happiness! I'm glad you wrote me again! It's so sweet of you...
You make this lonely and sad man happy. I guess that's why your dead mother called you Happiness, that woman knew. Very wisdom of her. In fact, I feel like she is talking to me from the beyond. She is telling me "hey Jirafales, I send you my daugther Happiness to bring happines to your life that lacks of happiness. It makes me think about that old hymn of my country, that says :
"Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy"
Do you know it? Beautiful song. So, the truth is that you bring happiness to my life. I'm starting to believe I can move on and forget my pain of Florinda's dead, and be a with another woman again.
What makes me think, did you read my last email? It seems that you didn't. You haven't told me anything about your life, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes.. In fact you didn't told me if you liked my mom. Maybe I will tell her about you, I'll tell her that I met a beautiful women from other country who seems to like me!
Please darling, answer me what I asked you.
And did you like my photos? What do you think?
Could you send me another photo of you? Please please darling!
I told you to call me "Profesor Jirafales", but I've been thinking, I prefer you call me "Master Longaniza", if you know what I mean, in your next mail. That's how my students call me in a lovely and respectful way
I'll write you soon. Hope you are fine, darling
Kisses!
Master Longaniza. |
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Happiness to me (this one is so generic and boring, zzzzz):
| Quote: |
THIS IS ALL ABOUT MY LIFE STORY I HOPE I WE TRUST YOU
Honey ,I am glad to write to you,how are you? Hope you are fine,I thank God for you.
Your message was a total relief to me. May Godprotect you for me because he is the one who brought you in my life.
I will like him to make away for you, my prince i love the way you sound tome, and i promise to be with you and i will like you to help me to come outof this camp so that i come to your country for us to carry out and actualize our dream. In this camp we are only allowed to go out from the camp only onMondays, Fridays and Sundays of the week..Its just like one staying in the prison andI hope by Gods grace I,with your help will come out of here very soon.idon't have any relative now whom we can go to, all our relatives ran awayin the middle of the war..The only person we have now is Rev. Joseph Mark. who is the ReverendMinister in charge of the church on this camp (HIS GRACE MISSION CHURCH). He has been very nice to me since I came here but I am not living withhim rather I am living in the women's hostel because the camp have twohostels one for men the other for women.The Pastors Tel number is( +221 773847363 ) Feel free to call me through his number. If you call andtell him that you want to speak with me, he will send for me in thehostel.As a refugee, i don't have any right or privilege to any thing pertaining money or whatever because it is against the law of this country. I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place. Honey, please l would like you to know that l have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which l will like to send to you to assist me,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in the Bank which he used my name as the next of kin. honey please if you we like me to come over you country before the transfer i we be happy all i need is my freedom my condition here is bad.i believe god we touch your heart to help me out of this prison call camp.So l will like you to assist me transfer this money to your account and from it you will send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you. I can't withdraw the money my self due to my refugee statues here in this country which does not permit me to, rather the money can't be transferred in Senegal where i am in refugee statues. I want you to send me your contact information's such as your
Names .........................................
Age .........................................
Address .........................................
Telephone ........................................
I have got in touch with the bank and made them to know about my plans to withdraw this money, l also got them aware of the death of my father.Remember I am giving you all theseinformation due to the trust I deposed on you.I like honest, understandingand God fearing people,truthful and a man of vision, and hardworking. My Favorited language is English, and our local language, but I speakEnglish very well because both my father and mother studied inEurope. Meanwhile I will like you to call me by 11.00 o'clock GMT Senegalese local time, like I said i have allot totell you.Have a nice day and think about me.Awaiting to hear from you soonest
Thanks and remain blessed |
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Me to Happiness (he won't ignore me, NO SIR!):
| Quote: |
Happines, I feel that you are not paying attention to what I say.
You haven't answer anything of what I asked, you say you love me and I TRULY WANT TO BELIEVE IT, but if you are not paying attention to me, I don't know if this can work.
It only makes me imagine that when we'll live toghether, I'll ask you to prepare me a sandwich, and you'll simply won't make it, and that's not how woman are suppoused to be. I care about you, I like you, but if we don't make the things right, I don't know if I can make you my woman. I have many needs, and I don't know if you will satisfy them.
Please, answer my mails darling. I want to know about you.
And I already told you THREE times, call me Master Longaniza, if you know what I mean...
Kisses, my darling! hugs! I hope your next mail!
Master Longaniza. |
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Happiness to me (now we're talking! Hell yeah!):
| Quote: |
GOOD DAY MASTER LONGANIZA
Good morning master longaniza how are you my future i hope all is well overthere in my dream country. honey am a young girl yes but there Little thing
i know in this world the reason why god made a woman is to take of a manam simple woman my only problem is understand when there is understandingthey we be love. as i have told my fist email
my name happiness Henry duksonage
24
country south Sudan
current country now Senegal camp Dakar
i like people with truth and understand
i like to be happy
i like to make people also happy
i like reading and studying
i like hard working people
i hate lazy people
the way you speak make me happy and i know god chose you for me
honey am read to give you all you need in a woman all i want is for you to be happy and care about you my problem here now is my freedom to be over therewith you and kiss face to face i can be happy here with out you on my side |
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Me to Happiness:
| Quote: |
Oh darling, I'm so happy you wrote me again. I can't express the joy of my heart and the gladness of my soul when I hear about you.
Thank you so much your your response. You still didn't answer some questions, as:
What do you think about my mom? Do you like her? Remember she had breast cancer and doctors had to take their boobs away. She will be please to meet you.
Yesterday I went to visit her, and I talked her about you. She is very happy for me, she can't believe how lucky I am that I have a beautiful woman as you, saying she is in love. Really, not even Florinda (my dead wife) said me the things you say me. I think you love me more than Florinda did, what u' think?
Please promise me that when you come over here, you won't die because of a coconut falling in your head, as Florinda did. I can't pass through that pain again. Promise me! Please!
In fact, I think we will not go to the beach EVER, just in case.
I LOVE when you ANSWER ME ALL MY QUESTIONS, I feel that you are caring for me and my feelings when you pay me attention. PLEASE CONTINUE ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS.
Remember calling me Master Gran Longaniza. (now I added "Gran", means "big". Now I'm Master Big Sausage! XD)
And darling, of course I will contact the Reverend Father Pope Rev.Mark. (I got it, he is a reverend) I will write him right now!!
Kisses xoxooxoxoxox darling, answer me!
Master Gran Longaniza.
Me playing the guitar to my mother. She loves you!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10416578_10204975493644154_6681531906058478817_n.jpg?oh=fc8013cad0dfb27eaecb3fd838d3c3a3&oe=5508E427&__gda__=1426615708_666a3aa1979b975ecbf83e3b1411d3fc
Again Mr Roberto as my mom hahahaha
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Happines to me (another generic and boring one zzzzz):
| Quote: |
DARLING PLEASE HELP ME CONTACT THE REVEREND
Hi darlingI have read and understand all you have said, and I must thank you for your words and the ability of helping me, darling I don't have any other ability to get out of this place only your help as i know that you will be the right person to help me, because God has Joined us together and we are meant to be Darling, like i told you i don't have my International passport to get out of this place to meet you and all my wish is to be with you to take good care of you and to carry on my education.
Darling i will like you to write a letter to Reverend Joseph MARK, he is the only one that can help me to get me the passport, hence you can get contact with him, please darling i know that you really love me and want to help me please try anything humanly possible to contact the reverend now and lets wait to know if he will agreed to help us, if i meet you over there we can go to the London bank and get my late father's money transferred into your account.,
Darling please here is the Reverend Father,s contact
Name.... Rev.Joseph (it says EVERYWHERE he is a reverend! LOL XD )
Email... (Revjosephmarkxx@xxxxxx.com )
phone..+221 773847363
please contact the Rev with your information
Age..................
Country............
occupation.........
Honey please do hasting up to get in contact with him in respect of getting us the passport and other necessary documents to have my total freedom, .Please do update me as quick as you are in contact with him i will be looking forward to have your news as quick as possible,Have a nice day and always think about me,
Happiness
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Me to Reverend!:
| Quote: |
Pope Father Reverend Rev. Joseph
Hi!
I'm Profesor Gran Longaniza.
First of all, since I'm talking to a Reverend Father, I would like to confess myself. Father, I've sin. Really father, but I'm truly regretted. I would like you to pray for me, because I can't stop watching hentai and youporn, and I know God and his graceful Grace doesn't like nasty dirty things. But what can I do??? Father please! Forget me! Pray for me!
Anyway...
I'm trying to be a better man, and do the right thing.
This beautiful young lady of your refugee camp, Happiness, has come first on me. Well, I wish, hahaha if you know what I mean. She is so lovely, with pinky hams and tough jugs. Lovely, I love that girl. I will marry her.
She asked me to write you I don't know really why, because TLDR
(too long didn't read), but she is hot anyway.
Send me the mail you have to send me with the info yo have to info me.
And here is my info, yo'!
Name:............. Prof. Profesor Gran Longaniza.
Age:................ 52
Ocupation:....... Profesor of third grade of school.
Country:...........Brasil, South America.
Take care of my girl!
Master Gran Longaniza.
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Happiness to me (please note how I'm still called by my name hahahaha):
| Quote: |
MY LOVE GRAN LONGANIZA (isn´t she cute)
My sweetheart,Gran Longaniza I hope you're having a good day and everything is going on smoothly my love. Many days and many miles have kept us apart for so long it is hard to believe that we are going to be with each other soon. I love you more than words can say. My heart will always belong to you. I miss you more and more every day. I can't to be with you and feel your love in person. I will wait for you. I wouldn't care how long I would have to wait. I would wait forever if that's what it takes! I will always love dearly you my angel, and you constantly remain in my sweetest thoughts.. Never doubt how much you mean to me and nevertheless how much I love you. I will remain faithfully yours until the end of time.
listing and listing your mother is my mother if i come there i we take care her as my mother because i have not mother now with i lost my mother since them any who i can take as my mother.
Gran Longaniza Yes yes for all you have ask me i love you please don't break my heart please your mother that am coming over there honey
if you hear from the rev father let me know |
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Me to Happiness:
| Quote: |
Dear happiness
Hi my love, how are you today?
I was thinking about our wedding. Where would you like to do it? I think of inviting all my friends, and of course, all the kids of third grade. It will be incredible!
My mother says hi, says you are very beautiful. She can't wait to hug you and give you her love. You know, she always wanted a daugther, but I'm her only son. So, in a certain way, you will be like her own daugther, and we will be like brothers for her, although we will be married. I know it sounds weird, but I've seen a show where the Lannisters do that, and they are cool, so we will be cool as well.
I've already spoken to the Father pope priest rev. Rev. Joseph Mark twain. He sounds like a man of truth. I guess that's because the Lord speaks trough him. And guess what! He has been praying for me. I almost feel a different man already.
Besides, he wants to help us to get your freedom!!!! Isn't that great?
Well, I have to go now, see you later sista!
Hugs!!!
Your love Master Gran Longaniza |
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Me to Happiness 2:
____________________________________________
Me to Happiness AGAIN (yeah, 3 on the row )
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Reverend to me! (generic and boring):
| Quote: |
MAY THE DOOR OF GREATNESS OPEN FOR YOU
Greetings in the name of our Lord,Thank you so much and God bless you for chosen to help this young lady.
I have heard so much about you by Miss ....happiness.......,one of the refugees in the camp here, I like the dots to fill the name XD youuuu lazy scammers!
Actually she has told me of your intention to assist her get freedom here on camp to meet you to start her life and continue her studies. Any way there are a lot of forms to fill after an official application to the welfare officer to grant her freedom,the welfare officer is a senior officer of the United Nations.
Before any application can be made, it is necessary that she gets an international passport, and to getting her international passport, she needs to swear an Affidavit of Oath concerning her birth and origin to prove her origin and age.Which is the primary prerequisite for her freedom. I have contacted the Embassy concerning the cost of international passport and they told me that it will cost the sum of 250 euro 100 euro each for the registration of the two oath at the high court here in Senegal. Therefore the TOTAL cost of getting her international passport is 350 Euro and it will be out in three working days. It is when the international passport is ready, that i will file an application or apply to the welfare officer here on camp for her refugee clearance. This will enable her have access to apply for visa to travel to any country of her choice and a preferential treatment will be given to her as a result of the united nations refugee clearance she has been issued,You have to send to me your full information as they will appear on the application form.
In case you may wish to send the money,you can send the money through the Western Union money transfer or money gram with my name information below.
YOU CAN CALL ME +221773847363
NAME ..................REV JOSEPH MARK
COUNTRY... ........SENEGAL.
CITY.........................DAKAR.
ADDRESS...............MEDINA BRANCH.
M T C
QUESTION
AND
ANSWER
SENDER NAME
Inform me as soon as you send the money.Please remember to send me the confirmation code you received from the western union money-transfer or money gram and don't forget to send me your full information as your name,address,occupation,age and marital status as they will be required when filling the form.I thank you once again for choosing to help this girl.God bless you, |
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Me to the Reverend (he won't ignore Master Longaniza neither):
| Quote: |
Hello again Father Priest pope reverend Rev.Joshep Mark Twain.
I think we should start again, because in the love of God our only and unique father who teaches us nothing but love and tolerance, I love educated people.
What I mean is that you didn't called me "Profesor Gran Longaniza", and if you don't call me by my true name, I feel you don't respect me as my students in third grade do. And they are only children, with 8 years old, and still they can remember my name. They are so lovely! I bet you like 8 year children too, and I know what you mean!
Im so happy you wrote me, Reverend Rev. Joshep. God bless you today and everyday till the day you die! (And go to heaven for being such a playful man full of the Lord's Grace.
Sorry, I didn't understand well what you are trying to say, but yes, I want to help Happines (the happiness of my life) so send me the money whenever you want. I'm ready to get it. LOL Don't worry about Happiness future here, as I said, I will MARRY HER, and maybe feed her. And if she is a good woman, I will give her a bed as well.
Here is my info:
NAME ..................PROF. Profesor Gran Longaniza
COUNTRY... ........Brasil
CITY.....................Jujuy (It's a city of Argentina)
ADDRESS.............Elm Street (Freddy Kruegger, remember?)
See you later Dad
xxx blessings!
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Me to Reverend again:
| Quote: |
Oh, I forget some information, I send it again:
NAME ..................PROF. Profesor Gran Longaniza
COUNTRY... ........Brasil
CITY.....................Jujuy
ADDRESS.............Elm Street
OCCUPATION...........Professor at school
AGE: 52
MARITAL STATUS: Waiting for Happiness to get married
Ok, now I'm ready to help you, send me the money whenever you want
God bless you and take care of my beloved Happiness. But behave yourself, not too much care, if you know what I mean.
I mean, don't think of her as one of your child.
Write me soon dad, I'll wait for your relpy asap (as soon as possible)
Love
Master Gran Longaniza. |
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Reverend to me:
| Quote: |
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD
Hello Mr gran longaniza as i inform you in my First Email before happiness
can come over there in your country she need a passport which to get her
the travel passport we cost you 350 total.the way happiness is talking about
you show you be good man.but the way you speak to me i don't understand
Mr gran longaniza.when i was praying this morning i ask god if you are a real man
for this young girl here in camp to take her out of this palace he also our god
with him all things are possible.if she come to you take her as your own son send
the money 350 EURO tomorrow morning so i can take to get the travel passport
this the information you use send the though western union if do that call me
NAME ..................REV JOSEPH MARK
COUNTRY... ........SENEGAL.
CITY.........................DAKAR.
ADDRESS...............MEDINA BRANCH.
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Me to reverend:
________________________________________________
Me to reverend again:
| Quote: |
Of course I want to help you, but we have to talk about something.
You said in your mail that I have to take her like my "son", but we are in love, father Marky. We want to marry each other, be wife and husband.
I need to have this clear, because I want a new wife since Florinda (my dead wife) died 7 years ago. Please pry for her soul. I hope she is in heaven now.
Did Happiness told you how she died? In a very weird way. We used to go to the beach on holidays, and one day of a hot summer, a coconut fell over her head. She died at the moment. As you can see, I've been through so much pain in my life, it was terrible.
But I feel that Happines could love me even more than Florinda did.
So, what do you think? Do you agree that we marry? I need love in my sad and lonely life.
Please father reverend Rev. Joseph Mark twain, say yes.
Profesor Gran Longaniza.
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And that's all so far! |
Last edited by Mrs.Fahrenheit on Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:50 am; edited 2 times in total |
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The Reverand
Show Me The Goodies
Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Posts: 301
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| Posted:
Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:04 pm |
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A good read ..lol..
Keep us updated  |
_________________
 x 11 
Why did you tell the bank that I am the one that contacted you? You have just killed me .....Lisa Thomas |
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