Every now and then I generate a reminder...

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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:11 pm

...of the level of shitbag we're working on here. Today's test of that level, from our poor old Lou, penniless on Molokai (the lad thinks that $39 has already been sent his way and has created another fee of $220 to up the ante):

Lad: Please I want you to have consideration on this; I guarantee you 100% assurance with trust and honesty that this is the final fee to be asked of; Immediately you send this fee today; I will get hold of the Customs Permit Clearance Document on your name and your delivery will be proceed by tomorrow morning. You shall have the ATM CARD package to your home by Saturday morning. I will call the director of the shipping department right now and inform them to be ready for your delivery by tomorrow once I receive the scan copy transfer slip of $220 as soon as you send it today. I shall attach the approval document from the Nigerian government and united stated presidential office for your proof and confidential purpose.

Lou: Okay, but you need to understand that I have been retired for many years and live on my social security checks from month to month. It is late in March now and, because of where I live, I doubt I will receive that check for a week. You're asking me to send you almost all of the money I have until then, so this has to work. I'm risking a great deal here.

Lad: Please believe my word in the name of God; you shall receive your ATM CARD and have access to it once you send the final fee. You shall never be cheated. I give you my word; you shall recover everything you spend regarding this transaction once the delivery is actualized. I will not let you down. I am an honest and sincere man; my word is my bond and I shall not fail you. Kindly proceed today and send the money so that you will receive the ATM CARD by Saturday this week as we have scheduled. Or you let me know how soon you shall send the fee. This is very urgent.

Lou: This had better work. My situation is not a good one and this money is going to save me. Sending the $220 is putting me at risk of being thrown out and having to live on the street.

Lad: Okay, I understand and I will not fail you; you shall not be thrown out to the street. now tell me, when are you sending the $220? be hopeful that you shall receive your fund without any hitch once you send the $220 for the Customs Permit Clearance Document

This one happened to catch me on a particularly crappy day, so he's going to get a beating like he's never seen before. Time to pass him off to my favorite greedy bastard:

Lou: I will try to get to the bank today. I have to keep at least $50 in there to keep the account open, so I'm going to need to borrow some money. I'll talk to my son-in-law, he's an attorney. He's an asshole, but has money.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Give him hell Lou! (And Marty)

Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:13 pm

They'll do this for real and not give a shit if the victim dies.
Pull him inside out, with my wholehearted support.

Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:30 pm

His reply to my last:

"Okay, please do whatever necessary to have the money send today; I will be waiting to receive the scan copy slip from you once you have it deposited to the account information listed to you below; please try and send it today and get back to me immediately."

Big hammers for this one...

Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:01 pm

Yeah--lads don't care if you will get evicted, are dying, or your loved ones are dying. Just send the money.

And a lot of them swear to God to believe them.

What do they do, cross their fingers and then pray for forgivenss later on?

Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:21 pm

Spank him well.

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 2:50 pm

He's just begging to be introduced to the Secure P@yment Tr@nsfer System!

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