Quick exchange with Cynthia Hayton

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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2004 1:34 pm

Quote:

OK, so this joker claims to work for the Bank of Bermuda in the Isle of Man.
I live in the Isle of Man and have ties to that bank, I wonder if they have any local information they want to give me...
IP points to an Israeli satellite provider, bait away.

From : cynthia hayton ( [email protected] )
Date : 07 October 2004 21:43
Subject : Suggestion

From: Mrs. Cynthia Hayton
Bank of Bermuda (Isle of Man) Limited
12/13 Hill Street
Douglas, Isle of Man IM99 1BW
British Isles.
Email:[email protected]

I am Mrs. Cynthia Hayton credit officer of the Bank of Bermuda(Isle of Man) Limited. I have a suggestion for you.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war one of our customer Mr. Khalid Faza who was a business man made a numbered of fixed deposit for 19 calendar months, with a value of Sixty Two millions Three Hundred Thousand United State Dollars($62.3 million USD) in my branch. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that the Man and his family had been killed during the war in bomb blast that hit their home.
After further investigation it was also discovered that Mr. Khalid Faza did not declare next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. He confided in me as his account manager that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. Now, Sixty Two millions Three Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it (what happened to the accrued interest shithead?). What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration of three years the funds w ill revert to the ownership to the Isle of Man Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. My suggestion to you is that I will like you to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Khalid Faza so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE:
I want you to know that every arrangement have been perfected to ensure a successful transaction. I have an attorney ready to prepare the necessary document that will make you a legalize next of kin to Mr. Khalid Faza, All that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an offshore account that will be provided by you.
There is no risk involved at all in this matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.
Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.

Should you be interested in anyway please send me your contact information's full names Telephone number to enable us discuss the sharing mode.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated and you can contact me on this secured email: [email protected]

Kind Regards
Mrs. Cynthia Hayton.
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Enter Kryten, he's full of sh*t, usual reply albeit 2 weeks later as he's been out battling space weevils or something.

From : Kryten
Date : 21 October 2004 08:20
Subject : Fw: Suggestion

Cynthia,
My apologies for the delay in writing back to you I have been out of the office.

Please let me know how we can progress this ?
Thanks
Kryten
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Cynthia's reply (yawn), or is that his alter ego Jimmy, using the same email address and identical IP. She is already confused and signs off as the lawyer.

From : cynthia hayton ([email protected] )
Date : 21 October 2004 23:54 and 22 October 2004 00:14 (Late working scammer)
Subject : Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Kryten,

Thank you for your response, and your interest to assist with this transaction.It became necessary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist in finnalising this project,and also to help in investing the money in your country. You should be rest ashure that every arrangement have been concluded to transfer the money.
To enable the atony secure a certificate of deposit from this bank in your name as the next of kin, and the bonafide owner of the funds. You should send your names and address telephone and fax number.
I think you will understand why I need for all these. The money in question is big and I want to ensure a full legality of the fund. Meanwhile we have all aggreed to give you 15% for your assistane.

Earliest response we be appreciated.

Regards,
Bar.Dr.Jimmy rhode
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From : Kryten
Date : 22 October 2004 11:13
Subject : Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Dr. Rhode,
What happened to Cynthia?

Anyway here are my details :

Phone : 001 206 984 xxxx
Fax : 001 206 350 xxxx

Kryten

Trusty old k7.
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No Response, time for a chaser.

From : Kryten
Date : 25 October 2004 13:16
Subject : Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dr. Rhode,
I am waiting.
Can you let me
Know what's happening?
Have sent you my details.
Everything is in order, yes?
And you have my contact numbers.
Delays are unnecessary.

Kryten

If the writing looks strange, check out the initial character on each line, what does that spell?
Probably far too subtle for the uneducated scammer brain, but what the hell.
This formatting becomes the standard for my replies.
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From : cynthia hayton
Date : 26 October 2004 : 23:32
Subject : Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Kryten,

Thank you for your reply. The delay is part of the procedure we have to get all documents ready to make you a legal nest of kin you should send to me your full names and account information to enable us effect payment.
I will get my attony Dr.Rhode call you to update you with the latest development everything arrangement is moving as planed.
Otherwise you can call my attony Dr Rhode for more informations on his direct number. 44-7040-106185.

Regards,

Mrs Cynthia Hayton
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From : Kryten
Date : 27 Ovtober 2004 08:04
Subject : Re: Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Cynthia,
It is good to hear from you.
My account details are below.
For your eyes only.
Under no circumstances must these account details fall into the wrong hands.
Kryten

Account Name : Jake Bullet Kryten
Account number 9873-9454 at Midland Bank, 10 Rillington Place, Buttplug, Illinois.

You have my phone and fax numbers already.
Call me.
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From : cynthia Hayton
Date : 27 October 2004 10:33
Subject : Re: Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Kryten,

Thank you for the informations we are going to get the necessary documents to make you a legalise nest of kin. This will take a day or two meanwhile I will get my Attony Dr. Rhode call you to update you with details informations regarding this transaction in full.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Regards,
Mrs Cynthia Hayton.
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From : Kryten
Date : 27 October 2004 13:47
Subject : Re: Re: Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Cynthia,

I have tried dialling the number you gave me.
Doesn't work.
I get unobtainable.
Oh dear.
Try to send me another number and I'll try again.

Kryten
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What followed were 4 unintelligible voice messages to my k7 account, tossers.
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From : cynthia hayton
Date : 27 October 2004 15:03
Subject : Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Dear Kryten,

The number is ok you should call me from 9 in the morning till 5 ill n the evening europe time please .Telephone number..0044-7040-106185 you can call me wright now.

I have also tried to call you on your phone but is on voice message do you have a mobile number.

Regards,
Mrs Cynthia H.
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From : Kryten
Date : 27 October 2004 15:15
Subject : Re: Re: Re: Fw: Suggestion

Cynthia,

Well my phone is on voice mail if I'm busy or unavailable, please leave a message.
As you and your barrister must be busy too.
Number of your telephone is based in what country, I can't get through!
Kryten
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Another 8 garbled voice messages, received by my k7 account. Why can't these people use a phone?
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From : Kryten
Date : 28 October 2004 08:12
Subject : Voice messages

Cynthia,
Received a number of voice messages overnight.
Either youre voice has suddenly broken or you have been inhaling gas out
There which has the opposite effect of helium.
I'm astounded.
Needless to say I have deleted them.

The caller sounded as if he was drunk.
What's going on?
A lady was also in the background laughing.
Try to get back to me.
By the way, after today, I will be out of the office until late Monday.
OK?
You are not taking this matter seriously.

Kryten
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From : cynthia hayton
Date : 28 October 2004 10:22
Subject : Re: Voice messages reply

Dear Kryten,

I don't know if my attony tried to call you in the night. You should send your direct mobile number to me to enable my attony update you with the development.
Look we have work for over six month to keep this transaction up to this stage therefore we can not afford to play at this stage.
We have secure a certificate of deposit for you as the nest of kin and the bank have also approve a final release order to effect the transfer of your fund. You should send your telephone number and address to enable us proceed with the transaction.

Regards,

Mrs Cynthia Hayton
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From : Kryten
Date : 28 October 2004 12:15
Subject : Re: Re: Voice messages reply

Cynthia,
The voice messages sounded VERY unprofessional, may I remind you this is a serious transaction and I won't stand for any arsing about.

I don't have a mobile. You have my name, you have my phone number, you have my fax number, you have my bank details, you have the address of my bank (where ALL my correspondence is sent) now get moving or do you want my dick size as well?
Kryten
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ANOTHER voice message, unintelligible. There's a shock.
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From : Kryten
Date : 02 November 2004 11:34
Subject : DELAYS !!!

What's going on ?
As I said, I was away until last night.
No messages have been received.
Key to this is URGENCY.
Endeavour to reply to this message.
Regards, Kryten
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From : cynthia hayton
Date : 02 November 2004 14:06
Subject : Re: URGENT

Hello Kryten,

The bank have approve the wire order and the final release order have been isue to effect the transfer of your fund meanwhile you need to get us your direct telephone number to enable us experdise this issue.

Regards.
Dr.J.Rhode
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From : Kryten
Date : 04 November 2004 08:44
Subject : Re: Re: URGENT

Mr Rhode,

Please look back at my previous messages.
Everything you need is in them.
Now here is my phone number again 001 206 984 xxxx
Is that OK?
So get this moving.

Kryten
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Yet another indecipherable voice message.
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From : cynthia hayton
Date : 04 November 2004 21:38
Subject : Re: Re: URGENT

Hello Kryten,

We are not going to send any money if you can not provide your direct number and address. In this case we don't have a deal.

Regards,
Cynthia H.
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From : Kryten
Date : 05 November 2004 08:37
Subject : Re: Re: Re: URGENT

So you can't use the phone.
Christ! Just leave a message.
And we'll get this moving.
My GOD!
My numbers and address has already been given to you, at least three times.
Everything is in order.
Remember this is urgent.

Kryten
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No response, I'm getting bored. Therefore:

From : Kryten
Date : 05 November 2004 16:29
Subject : Unprofessional idiots

Now look here Cynthia (I pity you for using a woman's name),

Stop taking the f**king piss out of me, you understand me sh*thead? You are a f**king complete and total f**king f**ker.
What f**king type of spunk breathed barrister & sh*t brained business partner are you?
Get Jimmy to take his lips off his boyfriends cock and get back to f**king business.

Now you f**king tell me that because you have monkey sh*t for a brain you cannot make a simple f**king phone call and you f**king well expect me to believe you, well I f**king well don't.
If you want any f**king money then you better f**king send me a message or phone my number you cocksucking dickhead. Even with monkey sh*t for a brain you can do this unless you are a lying motherf**ker.
You are seriously starting to f**k me right off you slow unprofessional steaming pile of elephant crap. You don't want me annoyed do you?
Get your dick out of your neighbours cow and answer me you f**ker!

Nne gi na ra mkpuru amu.

Kind Regards
Kryten

OK so I'll point out a few errors:
They have not asked me for any money as yet.
I have not ascertained that Jimmy is GAY but what the hell.
Kryten is a mild mannered series 4000 mechanoid from Red Dwarf and would never resort to this kind of abuse.

I should have taken the p*ss out of their atrocious spelling but this didn't really get off the ground in time.
Game over I think, not even an abusive message in response.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2004 10:51 pm

liked you anagram replies! Smile

i guess cynthia did not enjoy being called a "CRETINTWATBOY" Twisted Evil

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