Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread

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Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 12:09 am

This is split off from the last "Goofy Crap" thread, which had grown too long. - JF

Received this after I sent one of the blanked out Passport photos as a copy of the payment slip to one of my Lotto Lads:

Quote:

Mr,SB The Bank Manager Gave Out His Cell Phone Contact to
you to Call Immediately you have Made your Payment and sent the
Original Payment Slip
and not a Dark Copy,Dark Empty Copy are not ALLOWED.

And a note about Jokiing:

Quote:

Ecobank D M as the Bank Manager of Ecobank I Will not allow jokes
or Play in Our Transaction,well Knowing Mr

A message from the president: (Of Nigeria)

Quote:

we have seen that you are taking us for a ride because i have given
two vital accounts and you fail to send the money i am very
disappointed at your antics about the money.

Well it will only be your interest to receive your payment it is not
mine,i am not ready to offer you any more bank account because you are
not serious about this payment to you.

The only way you can send the money if you cares is by Money gram,give
the money to someone to help you send it via Money Gram because all
the time you have been taking us for a play.

It is very unfortunate the way you have behaved to my person,you fail
to understand the person you are dealing with,my involvement is an
opportunity for you to receive this payment.

Thanks,

His Excellency

Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan Gcfr
President of Nigeria.

Quote:

I am disappointed with your pranks with the Government as regards
receiving funds from Nigeria, what type of account or bank are you
using is it from the Sky or under the ground that you cannot send
money into, the account i gave to you is one of the best in the World
from London. We cannot believe you any more so i have ordered the bank
to revoke your payment and place an Embargo on it for turning us
around with your lackadaisical approach until i see seriousness in you
to claim the payment.

Thanks,

Dr Goodluck Jonathan Gcfr
President of Nigeria

Boy, I got the President pretty PO'd at me. (Not sure why) LOL.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Quote:

Hello.
My names are Elaine Roundtree,am from Phoenix, AZ..I'm mother of 4kids. i am a widow,my husband passed away in 09/11 incident at word trade fair centre in Fargo,North Dakota.

Has this lad been de-educated or what. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:20 am

Quote:

...my husband passed away in 09/11 incident at word trade fair centre in Fargo,North Dakota.

That is so great! Whoever is teaching these lads, hats off to you!

Hope you continue this bait without disputing the lads premise!

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:14 am

My romance ladette sent my female character an e-mail with the following subject line:

MY SWEAT SISTER READ FROM ME OK LOVE YOU MUCH

The best part? This was sent not once, not twice, not three times, but four times! Shocked

Being sent the same message multiple times is something of a trait of this lad. They're a scammer and a spammer.

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:44 am

Meet Barrister Smith

Quote:

the Human Right Protester of scam activities here in West Africa Region

He says that

Quote:

there are people sending you messages from difference places claiming to me what they are not using the government apparatus to extort money from you

He also says that

Quote:

you must abide by the Benin payment transfer ethics and follow the due process to ensure that you will receive the total fund genuinely as the original beneficiary of the fund without you worshiping anyone

And

Quote:

you can claim your fund before the month runs out without worshiping anyone

Has Big X been baiting this Lad?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I just spotted a profile using Josie pix that will never let anyone reply! Laughing

Quote:

To contact JKHVSDNJVNKFGDFHJ you MUST meet the following criteria:
You must be Male.
You must be between age 45 and 90.
You must be within 100 miles from me.
You must have a profile picture.
You must not be looking for Activity Partner.
You must not be looking for Dating.
You must not be looking for Friends.
You must not be looking for Intimate Encounter.
You must not be looking for Online Companion.
You must not be looking for Other Relation.
You must not be Single.
You must not be Married.
You must not be Divorced.
You must not be Windowed.
You must not be Seperated.
You must drink.
You must not drink socially.
You must not drink regularly.
You must smoke.
You must not smoke occasionally.
You must not smoke often.
You must do drug.
You must not do drug socially.
You must not do drug often.

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:57 pm

^If a man used to be married to a woman who has died, and he lives in a house he can't see out, can he contact her?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Only if he lives within 100 miles of him. And how would he know? I have seen shorter lists that would not allow contact. This one is guaranteed to get nil!

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:31 pm

Could it be a Baiter profile? Only a scammer would contact them anyway.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Using josiemodel pix and with all those blocks set in place, nobody can contact them. (The site itself actually forbids it)

Contact Criteria Not Met

You must live within 100 miles of JKHVSDNJVNKFGDFHJ to contact JKHVSDNJVNKFGDFHJ.

Click to Continue

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

I had to take a break from the lotto lads to post this.

My Name is: Chris
I live at: RFD
Winnett Montana 59087
yadi yadi.

Quote:

attention Mr Chris
How can our agent locate you in united state , which of the city are you are in united state ? please write us clearly with your full details to unable our agent locate you and handover your winning cheque to you.
Congratulations once again,
best regard
Dr.K

So I give him my info once yet again.

Quote:

Attn Chris
we got the address you sent to us, Address: , Winnett, Montana. 59087, is the address located in new York or somewhere else?? Laughing

best regards
Dr.Kelly

This just in from a dissatisfied customer.

Quote:

Thanks for your email. Since you can not access your account due to your next work, We have to keep hold of your package until you are ready to have it deliver to your home address in your country.

Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:25 pm

Not really goofy, but I liked his colloquialisms.

Quote:

Mr Charles lied to you my foot. All this hullabaloo for $150. Jesus Christ.

Posted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:03 am

My Indian au pair character has an interesting name that she always writes in her native language (Telugu). Most lads ask her what it is in English and she gives her version of the translation.

It seems one lad knows how to use Google translate, as I got this this morning

Quote:

Dear Sweet vagina

Pity he doesn't have the intelligence to understand the meaning of the name.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Jan 2014 Posts: 9

This is from standard spam, not a pet, but the translation error led to a sopping keyboard:

Quote:

I'm looking ahead for your next post, I will try to get the dangle of it!

You...do that.

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:56 pm

From a nice E-mail from my Lotto Lad wanting me to sign a winnings disclaimer to forfeit my money by tomorrow if I don't pay the money.

Quote:

How Long have you been Joking with Ecobank?
Do you think The Bank are playing kids joke here?

1. I've never Joked with the real Ecobank. I've sent them a lot of nice Bank reports though.
2. The bank is definitely playing but it's no kids joke you Scumbag!!!

ETA: We all Love Risky Free:

Quote:

Holle Justin
I want you to contact the bank let the bank know when you are making this payment.It was you who ask for bank transfer now you can not make this done, and sending money with Western Union or Moneygram, i do not see any risky there.

Dr. James Cox Fox

Yet another WTF moment from one of my Darlings:

Quote:

My late father Dr. Paul is the director Godson Godson Godson manager was industry (Ltd) and the staff advisor was former Head of State (late Dr Robert Guei) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and my mother died when I was a father thousands without style information in paragraph Conchs have a home and the violence of the uniqueness of my parents, my dear how much it hurts every time I remember this tragedy happened in my family. So I decided to runaway with the style of the next Dakar, Senegal, Paragraph Country save my life, where I live now. I would like to know more about you.

Ok, Ok, Ok, Now WTF Honey???

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:07 am

My lad goes off script...

Quote:

If I can travel somewhere right now, will be to the distress areas of the world so I can give my part of life to them because nobody is born to suffer and we all should do everything within our might to ensure that we have that resolved.

Soon he will be living in a distress area of the world...

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 5:52 pm

Quote:

Dear friend i can not kill myself because of you okay, How many bank account did i send to you because $300.00?

Just send me one more then you can matey !

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:22 pm

My Coke Lotto lad is not amused.

Quote:

this is the very last account which will be issued after facing much problem in making payment by you our winner.

For your information, I am band by law not to temper with your winning funds, because it against the law and that is the main reason why i have been polite with you ever since even when i know that your claims is holding me backward from attending to other job here on my desk.

You will not travel down to London if the bank get their charges. I grantee you that for sure.

Well I grantee he's going to be disappointed.

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 7:57 pm

Under the subject

Quote:

I WILL CANCEL YOUR PAYMENT IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE YOUR TIME

Barrister Kwame writes:

Quote:

Listen and listen good you will not receive your payment without me
signing transfer of your money into your account.
Is promise i give you that as far as am concern you will not receive your payment up-till i sign for transfer of your payment and as i told you before you have limited time for this transaction and when time comes i will write central bank governor to recall your money back he already told me that your not ready to receive your payment and am seen it in you now.what ever your doing with united bank of Africa without me your Westings your time take it or you leave it.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:40 am

Anyone have any idea what this means?

Quote:

Present Issue Not Accepted!

All I get here on the slip you sent is still the same cripple issue off which is not suppose to be in this way
...

Mistake are only made when someone is trying to clinger ideal off him or herself.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:34 pm

^^^ I read it four times and I still can't even guess.

From my recovery lad, after my Evil Trust Fund Manager chopped him:

Quote:

You need to be very Careful and do not bother to send me any Money anymore

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:51 pm

Freudian slip?

Quote:

I’m looking for money to print out the form and fill the gaps as stated and also scam again,

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 6:08 pm

My new inheritance lad:

Quote:

Without both of us seeing and assessing the situation through the same eyeball there cannot and will never be success or progress.

Ewwwww!

Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:57 am

Quote:

I got the International Criminal Police Organization ( INTERPOL ) involve for investigation, and in their bid to launch a full scale investigation into the saga, they found out that the reason why you were swindled in the past and still not been able to receive your fund till date was because you were dealing with the wrong peoples, unscrupulous elements, and impostors that were impersonating Western Union. Prior to that I have order for the arrest all those who were involved.

Alright!

Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 5:03 am

Quote:

Thanks for the update and informing me of your c*nt position.

Western Union payment timelines . . . . lady parts . . . . what's the difference?

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