Turd 4, Mombassa, Kenya

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

Interesting. He cant be starving if he wants to suddenly spend money on internet minutes answering questions to kids.
Unless of course in the next email he asks for money.

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:44 pm

Bernie wrote:

Well, where the fuck are you? Not in fucking Somalia, am I right? Look, stop being so lacking in initiative! Just fucking get to Magadishu. Check into the best . Also, you lost another $1,000,000 in cash. Totally my fault, but consider it payment for faithfully holding the remaining $9,000,000 I have in the vault, and, of course some of your gold is left, and most of the diamonds. Long fucking story.

Anyway, I was meditating, and I came to this block. I couldn't get fucking past it. I tried again and again. The fucking image was of you, except, your fucking cock had all fucking healed up, the part you chopped off. Fucking weirdest fucking thing. You chopped the end off, right? WHy am I having this fucking hang up? So fucking strange.

Just so you know, I am over you. I have no desire to ram myself into your rectum anymore. Mostly. You could have been my wife. But I don't feel that way about you anymore.

Get your dumb fucking ass to Mogadishu, you stupid lazy fuck, and then it will be all fucking good.

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 2:23 pm

Turd wrote:

Dearest Baba,
I received your message.thank you for your understanding and support.I promise you will be well and richly rewarded.
Yes I did approach a boat,but there are procedures such as: ID , fare cash e.t.c.
The issue is that as I write to you,I am completely without any cash money to pay for that trip,also,I entered here illegally,you understand what I mean.
Seriously,I think I need some help Baba.
Moishe

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:14 pm

Some of his true intentions are showing:

Quote:

My buddy
Greetings hello brooklyn!!!
I didn't intentional decided not to write you,the reasons,one beeing
that I was sent on a mission/adventure where I reach you via email.
The good thing is that the book you have been waiting is a true live
experience,a true story and adventure.
The bool is a film, having a several episodes.
The book is being delay becuase the stories still continues.
It will be released when the write meet you.then launch for all other people
to read also.mbe patient buddy,you will have it.
How is rabbi doing? Does rabbi knows me? Do you think rabbi like me?
Hey,I am sorry you were suspended at sorry,common buddy,be a good
boy,listen to instruction of the elders and you will be fine I
promise.
I will like to hear from you okay?
Hope your mom and dad is fine.I miss you all.
moishe

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 4:41 pm

To the kids Moishe wrote:

The bool is a film, having a several episodes.

Please, not a movie script. Anything but that! Confused

Again with the begging. What, he broke his magic wallet?

To Hardik Digdip, Moishe wrote:

Dear,

I got your messages.Thank you sir.
I am glad to learn that you are on side.
I want you to understand that it is not as if I am lazy or being
incompetent,no that is not the case,the case is that I am completely
stranded without no cash to use to get my way forward.
The little I had on me from South africa is finished.
You will remember that Dr.Ravi disappear with the fund meant for
me,this is the cause of the delay.
I have no way to get fund here,unless you come into my rescue and help
I have the understanding that you are good man,and seriously I look
forward to meeting you and celebrating with you someday.I like the way
you are,you seems to be fun loving and nice personality,I like that
too.
I still sincerely request from you to do whatever you can within your
position and powers to help.
You will be forever appreciate and loved.
I remain your hunble Moishe

Hardik wrote:

Little Moishe: Correct for once! Am funloving and nice. Therefore will help you by hosting a Malaysian Diwali Feast in your honour! Will be starting with popiah, then Assam pedas fish! Then sambal with prawns! And ayam percik grilled chicken with galangal. Fabulous! Then finishing with nyonyakuih. Sweet sweet! Your photo shall be at the head of the table as honoured guest in absentia! This must be lifting your spirits already! Digdip

Ok so I'm 5 weeks late for Diwali. Moishe can sue me.

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:20 pm

I can feel the frustration as he reads that. Hahahaha! Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:36 pm

Bernie wrote:

My dear, sweet man child, I am not bad, nor am I mean! I only kill people who fucking deserve it, though, of course, sometimes I kill the wrong person. What do you want? Shit fucking happens. What can be done? It's fucking karma.

Look, as I have fucking told you, and you seem too fucking stupid to hear, you have to fucking earn it. After what happened to my good friend, the late Colonel Bob, and then to Walid, my poor friend, the only man I have ever loved without wanting to stick my dick in his anus, who died so poorly, and that after you had already chopped shit off, and then I think about all those Temple people who are fucking dead because of you, it fucking hurts. It also says you have a bad track record for this type of fucking thing, Hector.

Look, its like this, okay? You have had four fucking years to get your fucking shit together, see? You sleep in Cairo, have sex with the pool boys on the beach, then suck miles of dick in prison, get your anus stretched, properly, then you fucking lie to me, don't inform me of where you fucking are, show up in South Africa without telling me, use proxy servers, you fucking tell me shit I want to hear, indicate that we might get married, that your body could be mine to use as I want, and then you ignore me, and tell me you don't really want me to ride you like a pony. Well, that shit is fucked up, okay? You cannot continue to use me like that. In life, its about mutually supporting relationships. It cannot always be about you! Not Me, me, me, me, all fucking day long, okay?

You are in Mombasa, right? Well, then walk to Somalia. it is not far, Hector. You could be in Magadishu with in two weeks, if you grew a pair of fucking balls and then put on some walking shoes. Why the fuck are you still sitting there, whining? Fuck me, you have to be one of the most completely useless human beings alive. I am amazed your daddy's sperm swam all the way up your mothers crotch to make you. Show some fucking initiative, you dumb, lazy fuck.

Write me when you reach Mogadishu, shitbird. I love you, in ways that few people ever will, you know this, but sometimes we need to exercise some tough love. You are so close. Don't you want to fucking earn this? Ear it, Hector. Earn it.

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:49 pm

I just love Bernies rants. Can just imagine Hector reading them and feeling so much shittier than he already does.

Great job Doc.

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:51 pm

Quote:

Show some fucking initiative, you dumb, lazy fuck

All about Hecturd in one sentence.

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:16 am

Turd Boi, to Bernie, wrote:

Message noted.I will researve my comment.

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:36 am

Bernie wrote:

See? Thats what I fucking love about you. You hear me tell you you are a lazy fucking imbecile, and you react politely. You are a fucking gem of a human. Seriously. What a nice fucking guy you are, even if you are a lazy fucking idiot.

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:53 am

That reply seriously made me laugh out loud. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 4:28 am

Moishe wrote:

Sir,
Is that all you can do to help?

This is how he acknowledges a feast in his honor? The ungrateful barstead!

Hardik wrote:

Little Moishe: Belittling the spiritual aid of the Temple? Shame on you Moishe. Feasts not cheap you know! Are feeling the love yet? Digdip

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:01 pm

Perhaps it's time for some of the characters to start talking about how they are spending Christmas with their family & friends. Maybe this will make him feel even more isolated Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

oh yes, if everyone talks about christmas and bernie about fucking xmas Very Happy

big turkeys, lot's of food, monetary gifts, gold rings, and so on. Smile

and he sits in mombassa Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:25 pm

Turd Boi, in a note to Bernie, wrote:

I will let you know if I make it or get caught.

Baba Ginooj wrote:

Dearest Mr. Moishe,
I have to be relaying a message from Ramdi: be careful about your associates. She says that you must not trust anybody from your Temple.
I am waiting for some time in the first week of the coming year to confirm your boat. Can you remain safe and sound over the pending Christmas holidays? Do you have any family members from whom you may draw support and succor from in this time of adversity? You know that we feel for you, your kindness to free us from our indebturedness, it fills us with a feeling. You cannot know the plight of us in the lower castes, sir, but is it a very terrible thing.
Ramdi tells me she is very excitmentations to be of marritable qualities for you. Only she and I know of your betrothments, and her parents.
Your friend,

Baba

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

Would this be the 4th or 5th Christmas he's spending on safari?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Somebody must have stolen his magic wallet. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:37 pm

I think this will be his third or fourth Xmas on safari. I imagine his unhappiness is of the charts.

Bernie wrote:

See that? You fucking manifest the negative! You open the possibility that you will end up back in prison. How fucking stupid is that? Seriously? More dick sucking and getting it in the ass? Is that your fucking vision for the future? Why would you even say something like that? Thank fucking god you are not talking about how fucking hungry you are, or any shit like that. Fuck me, you are a fucking drama queen. You are going to fucking make it, you fucking pussy.

Look, are you gonna be here for Christmas, or what? Its that time of the year, and, you know, I think it would be great to have you here. I can turn the air conditioning down, make it real cold, and then we can put a fire in the fire place, and then you and I can lay on the big white rug in front of the fire and eat sushi, while tossing down mojitos. Christmas we will be baking 45 turkeys for the guys and their families. I am giving bonuses for al the workers. I can teach you backgammon.

I just need to know what the plan is, and have you fucking DO IT.

So, it fucking sounds like you are about to make the jump, totally cool. You have loving arms waiting for you, a true friend. Once you are here, you can cry on my shoulder. I feel your pain, Hector, every fucking step of misery, I internalized that. I feel for you, on a level beyond mere empathy. I think, on a molecular level, that you are resonating on the same frequency as I am. I had that vision when doing the quartz crystal prana meditation, that we were vibrating on the same molecular level, along with his Holiness, the Dalai Lama.

I hope to see you soon, Hector. We have a lot to talk about.

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:21 am

^^ Inspirational! I nearly went to Somalia myself.

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:04 am

I still think Donald Sutherland should play Bernie in the movie.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

I think it should be Samuel L Jackson.

epic mail from bernie, perfect as always.

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:15 am

^^^Peewee Herman.

Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:31 am

Turd wrote:

Dearest Baba,
I received your messages.thank you.
You are very wonderful personality.
I intentd to make you my good friend and associate for long term.
I promise you one thing,the day I step on india soil,the day I see you,that day you will have your freedom.I don't care how much money it will cost me to pay for you and Ramdi,I will pay for your both indebtureness.
You both means a lot to me and I want to have you as family friend and associate,we will together,I need you and I need Ramdi as well.
As you can see,I have some enemies,I don't trust anyone,my temple people some are good and some bad,some don't want me to make it alive.I have been on this struggle for years now,jehovah and shiva has kept be alive for some reasons and I think one of those reasons is to help you also.
Mr hardik is not a helpful and not a good man,I know that.so I am relying on you for my life and yours and ramdi.
Please do not disappoint us.
We are close to sucess,let's get it done and be happy forever.
I can imagine how happy we will be when you both are free,we will travel together,start a new lives,enjoy the new live.
However,I lost a dear family member,who has been of support to me,now I have no one to support financially.I will have to hang on till the boat time as planned.I pray jehovah and shiva protect me.
If there is any updates as regards interpol or anything else,please do let me know immediately.
I do understand the stresses of being a low caste,but let's make this plan work this time and get out of this slavery life.
I remain your friend.
Moishe

Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:37 am

desperately streded lad wrote:

I lost a dear family member,who has been of support to me,now I have no one to support financially.

That probably explains his magic wallet up to now, and if he's telling the truth (kind of a long shot, I know) he may really be up against it now.

I hope he isn't lying and he has lost his only source of financial aid.