New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:34 pm

^I'm sure you'll get it Slorted out sooner or later.

Quote:

God say pay Tex and adoration
Giver never lack say our Lord
You trust is yours strength
You support is also you work
You kindness is you quality
May God bless you and your family,
business (work), country and the World too.

Posted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:42 pm

Quote:

and you rightly said trust must be cultivated over time, and such must come via rubbing of mind and communication

I'm not rubbing anything mate ^_^

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 12:17 am

Quote:

It takes two to TANGLE and make a trail of friendship

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:01 am

Mariya, the lesbian Vlad has translation issues & goes all veterinary ;

Quote:

when we with you will appear alone I will lick your breast and your small cat

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I don't know how this is supposed to work

Quote:

Will love to carry your Babies in my worm love...Kissssssssss

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:13 pm

^^ Worm babies? And cats? Sounds like the lads are animal lovers Very Happy

I started an account for religious baits, but I don't think the lad caught on I'm a nun. This was his reply after responding to the initial script:

Quote:

Well i will like to know more about you before i will tell you how you gonna help me...please my dear sister in Christ you sound like a very nice person, May GOD Bless you for the things you are about to do for his children, i think i like you so much, please kindly tell me about yourself, are you married?...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...

Over the top much?

Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 12:19 am

Sgt. Somethingorother:

Quote:

I want to invest my own share of this fund in any profitable business that can yield us good interest within the shortest time
and period, I have lost a box of God to a trusted person .

Kinda like when Indiana Jones was that close to the Ark of the Covenant I'm thinking?

Posted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:45 am

I like to think I'm pretty good at speaking lad, but now I have to admit I'm at a complete loss here:

Quote:

regards,
Lad's Name
Share: [Lad's number]
Private military diplomatic means.
We Defense Courier Service, items classified as ships or of any sensitive government.

No seriously, can someone translate this? I mean first of all: "share"? Am I supposed to give his number to everyone and tell them his pizzas are excellent and the home delivery service rocks? Because I think that can be arranged.

Then WTF is "Private military diplomatic means"? That sentence does not even contain a verb in it. It's like I would call myself Prof. Rev. Dr. Barr. Prof. PhD. MBA Sillymugu.

And finally that last part. "Items classified as ships"? All I want from him is my trunkbox full of cash, I'm not ordering a freaking Oliver Hazard Perry on my front yard!

Posted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:40 pm

^That ship would make for a unique planter on your lawn. You'd be the envy of the neighborhood.

Quote:

We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence.

So all I have to do is learn some Bitchin' Dance moves and I'll be forgiven? I like the new FBI!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

My new pet from skype that I met this morning is an odd duck.

i am 5'7 feet tall and i weight about 1789 pounds

[8:12:56 AM] Patience Kwarteng: ok but do you like black people?
[8:13:28 AM] Derrick : I am not sure I understand why you would ask me that
[8:13:38 AM] Derrick : I judge people from the inside
[8:13:42 AM] Derrick : Not skin color
[8:13:59 AM] Patience Kwarteng: i have been told people over there think blacks are monkeys

Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:30 pm

Anybody know what "SHATTAkiller" means??? I have no idea why the lad would change it to something like that as we just started chatting 2-3 nights ago.

Quote:

evelyn y<[email protected]> Tue, Aug 13, 2013 at 8:12 AM
To: S H A T T A k i l l e r <my e-mail>
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original
Hello my dear it have been a long time i chat you on skype and i am sorry because i was having internet problem at home and a freezing computer,i hope you will forgiving me as well my dear.By the way how are you doing now? well i hope you are doing well as i am here.....well dear try and see by this details please...

(Bank Details with Swift code still missing)

Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:13 pm

^^^
urban dictionary says shatta is

Quote:

A Jamaican slang... it's another word for gangsta

after a quick google i think it's also interchangeable with shotta which may explain the "killer" bit

urban dictionary on shotta:

Quote:

Of Jamaican origin
1. Thug, gangster, a man not to be messed with
2. Killer, assassin, known murderer, has a gun and will use it
3. A term of respect between friends

I may be wrong though.

Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 6:28 pm

Gee, I'm a gangsta-killer? That's the nicest thing a lad has ever called me.....LOL.

clapping

Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:21 pm

Another case of "Lost in Translation":

Quote:

I'm really happy with your email, you know my angel like you ever apply for participation in the conference to have the conditions to fill is possible to qualify as soon as you have the necessary information in order to comply their lois.Permettez me express to you my love through this little poem: you and me forever, what a sweet destiny Yesterday, today, tomorrow, that day to love, here there! everywhere or elsewhere, that matters to me! Emmen me and make that love carries us, and Bringing two hearts born to love, Dreaming in unison in the same orchard, two Y breathing the scent of happiness. when I say that I love you with all my cœur.Je aimeMon love you, Let me express to you my love through this little book by Jean-Luc.A Far from you poem, life is not flavor, a single partition without Re-key, where there Yapas the shadow of a glow, not a single word sung choeur.Si away from you, the soufflance persists, the picture of my life so sad, that with this distance is boredom reflects the joy of a lost triste.Si away from you this is my life, if I die away from you in silence, so far from you I'm in love you solitude.Je Here's your narcissus saron, a lily vallées.Tu know on my bed at night I sought him whom my heart trembles, like I looked and I have developed trouve.Mon liked you are to me a bunch of myrrh, troéne.Malgré this huge distance, but far meadows eyes of the heart, especially when I read you ... You know you're beautiful, my best friend, my heart and thoughts are of you. I want to be near you ... the his banner over me is love, support me with poems, .... Strengthen me with apples, I'm really sick of love, let your left hand is under my head and kisses me your right.

Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:51 pm

From my dying widow/barrister lad:

Quote:

Below is my secretary information to enable you send the money through western union or money gram install-mentally.

Cool! I had no idea WU and MG were so advanced. Now all I have to do is think about transferring money.

Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 10:03 pm

This started as an "are you dead or alive?" format about six weeks ago.

Quote:

If you know you really made the payment as you so claimed,go ahead and send me the payment details and stop playing me around.

This will be the last mail i will be sending you in regards to this transaction,i believe you are an elite and you will understand what i mean here

Well . . . quite honestly I don't understand what he means here. Confused

Does he perhaps think I am an elite baiter?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I am sure he gets all the ladies with talk like this

Quote:

haii ane hw r u hw is ur dy

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:57 am

^I'm going to use that. Sadly I know just exactly what he is saying....

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:41 pm

^^ O HAI, LOLSPEKE IS GUD, ITZ ALL TEH RAGE NAO U KNO?

But seriously...

A Lad had to explain why I was getting scam proposals outlining the same plan as his; he invented a jealous rival.

Quote:

Unfortunately for him he sacked because of lack of misconduct in his own department and not from our own department.

I guess every organisation has a set level of corruption, and that guy was just too honest!

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 6:46 pm

Bobby/Jenny is dumping me for the tenth time this week:

Quote:

Never contact me again ., you give me heart pressure

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:38 pm

^^That reminds me of something I heard years ago on the radio. The traffic light was not malfunctioning properly.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

This one is dense! His second mail was telling me he wanted to come to me and I told him to piss off. He tries again with this.

Quote:

Hello my dear how are you doing hope you are doing good i have not hear from you for over 2 weeks now hope you are doing good i really want to hear your reply concerning me coming over to you baby how is the embassy going about my Visa and any other documents process k

I really want to come over baby things are really hard here in Nigeria right now i really want you to help me come over k

Hope to hear from you sooner

Love You
Collins

Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 11:18 pm

vonpaso xlura wrote:

^^That reminds me of something I heard years ago on the radio. The traffic light was not malfunctioning properly.

There's this exchange too.

Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
Officer: "Yes, I do."
Lawyer: "Was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 8:58 pm

From my conference lad:

Quote:

We don't have any litigation with FBI for any fraud whatsoever. At least not to our notice yet.

Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:07 pm

It took three days to get enough bank info to send a report to Alan. I told the Knucklehead that the account was Red-Flagged and asked for another account. So I get the new account details:

Quote:

HERE'S ANOTHER ACCOUNT YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY.
guiche code 01012

account number of 811212314301

cle rib 17 name and surname vodounnon Aguemon jeans

1. Here we go again.
2. Heads up Vonpaso Xlura. This is the Conference scammer I gave you the info on. LOL.

New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.	View next topic View previous topic