New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.

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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 2:23 pm

Quote:

I will personally help you to make sure you receive your fund without any stress

Don't worry matey, the stress will be all yours!

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:01 pm

Bobby/Jenny seems stressed out for some reason:

Quote:

Mals: My Darling why are you questioning my commitment to you? I travelled to Lagos just for you.

Bobby/Jenny: I know that part .. when you're expected to do some little shit and you do some big shit ... to please me .. i want that little shit to please me Sir

Mals: I don't understand this shit.

What a shitty situation!

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:01 pm

Hunh???

Quote:

Re: Given my current state of health, I have decided to donate what I inherited from my late husband to you to help the poor and needy. I am MRS.SUSIE KIT-YU from Hong Kong. I was diagnosed for cancer and I have few months to live according to medical expert. Inbox
MRS.SUSIE KIT-YU. <[email protected]> Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: Recipients <[email protected]>
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original

Yours,
MRS.SUSIE KIT-YU

How this ended up in my box I have no idea.......

But I will reply: Razz

Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:25 am

Mrs. Mary Louis, "a native of United Kingdom", is "suffering from protracted cancer of the lungs". She was "married to [her] late husband Engineer. Steve Louis for twenty years without a child", and there's a reason for that:

Quote:

I am a fervent Believer and a God fearing woman just like my late husband.

Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 11:38 pm

This Lad used a word I haven't seen in a long while:

Quote:

I have no time to delay any longer so you have to do the needful as we all agree and stop this issue of speciousness to make payment.

Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 1:26 pm

Found these two gems from a lad who dropped me a while back (the sandtimer lad in my sig) in an account I haven't checked in ages.

Rev wrote:

PLEASE MY DEAR, I DON'T TRUST YOU ANY MORE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY I AM SEROUS NOW? YOU CAN FOOL SOME PEOPLE BU NOT ALL THE TIME, I TOLD YOU I AM A MAN OF GOD AND I AM WORKING WITH GOD DIRECTIVE,
REV

Rev, three days later, wrote:

PLEASE KETTIE, IF YOU KNOW YOU NEED THIS FUND AND NOT BY LAYING, GET YOUR SELF READY TO TRAVEL TO ENGLAND TO RECIEVE THE $8M, LIVE ME ALONE, I HAVE TRIED FOR YOU BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF HUMAN ARE YOU, HOWEVER, I AM NO MORE USING THAT YAHOO ID THAT YOU USE TO EMAIL ME, YOU CAN CONTACT OR REPLY ME THROUGH THIS HORT MAIL,
REV

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 2:55 pm

Quote:

.....send him the money through western union money transfer because he is not a scam fraudster okay

Okay I believe you Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Third email into this one I get

Quote:

Honey ! those bikes are really imazing and cant stop looking at them really ....., Gues u enjoying the great weeknd while mailing me as well , am real cool to be ur sweet lover till the end of time and beyound , pretty lady like me living alone is a herk and surelly wanna lay me ass in ur romantic bed with passionate and seductive of ur love as much sweet heart. I have kinda nude pic that i took when ever am lonely but i think i got to show u now since we getting interucted with eacth other as couples do , cant wait to be with ya so u can see the kinda love i got to idmite

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 3:16 pm

Jeff Mills says:

Quote:

Honey thanks for understand me I really love goat so much in my life.

We know, Jeff. We know.

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:09 pm

Orphan refugee ladette appears to have a deer with eye problems...

Quote:

I can think straight my hart blinks. I love you

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I am confoozed!

Quote:

my real name is Comfort 31 single with no kids i use to live withb my mum and dad at that state but lot both of them on car accdient so my aunte was taking care of but she was treating me too bad but my father was truly ghanaian so my grandmum come to the state and bring me to ghana so am at ghana now so i want to married man who is from the United state so that i can have my dad proptie.so if you dont mind you can chat with me at

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:59 pm

Quote:

How can you carry a cow on your head and use leg to struggle for ant ???, listen i heard all your story now you have won 850,000 pounds sterlings you need to claim this first because it takes only 3 days to expire before you start chasing your family fortune, if you are not interested to make this lottery claim please say it to me so i cancel your name and winning number so that the money will be diverted to the state coffers. take care bye

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:54 pm

We are paying him a visit tomorrow in £0ND0N. Very Happy

Thanks for your call (call what call, I'm deaf you numbskull) and mail, your visit is sudden.
I will travel to £EEDS tomorrow. Surprised

Kindly forward your telephone number in UN1TED ST@TES,
I want to call you so that we discuss further.

2 Messages and he's confused. Laughing

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 5:15 pm

I’m not shaking hands

Quote:

Hello , How are you doing? I know this message will come to you as a suprise or a sperm, Its Geniune partnership.

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:18 pm

^^^
My guess interpretation: "How come your head is strong enough to carry a cow, but your legs aren't strong enough to carry an ant?" Probably a saying similar to "strain out a gnat and swallow a camel".

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

^^^ I think that is redo's gay lad!

Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:10 am

A Twist on a Familiar Script:

Quote:

,I am a 58-year-old widow with a weight problem , a persecution complex and I am contacting you because I don’t have any other option than to tell you as I know I won't survive for long and I was touched to open up to you about my project which is worth Two hundred Million Dollars which I intend to use for CHARITY through your assistance.

We should get along fine. I've got Achy Breaky Heart and a touch of Oscarpilesiciticus. Nothing serious really....

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

[7/12/2013 5:46:46 PM] lizbert love: fuck u man
[7/12/2013 5:46:47 PM] lizbert love: u are scammer
[7/12/2013 6:33:56 PM] lizbert love: do u know some one want to scam u
[7/12/2013 6:34:01 PM] lizbert love: she is from ghana

Lizbert happens to be in Kumasi Ghana!

EDIT:

[5:35:39 AM] Derrick Named Lizbert too huh?
[7:06:13 AM] Derrick R : Only a moron like you would claim I am a scammer.
[7:06:47 AM] Derrick : You are the one asking for money that makes you the scammer
[2:55:54 PM] Derrick : Sakawa are bitch boys right?
[2:56:01 PM] Derrick : Not real women
[2:56:37 PM] Derrick : So you are gay?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Jul 2013 Posts: 4

In one of my current baits I have convinced the lad that I'm sending him some prize dairy cows but I need to know who will take care of them. Here is his plan.

Quote:

And also the Man called Mr. Godknows i think he has about 48 plot of land where there is many glasses so there will be a good place for the cows,

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

^^^Are they blind or alcoholic cows?

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:37 am

This courier Lad is getting impatient with Cammy:

Quote:

YOUR MAIL WASN’T SPECIFIC AS IT DIDN’T IN ANY FORM CONFIRM ANY ELEMENT OF SERIOUSNESS, AND THIS PRESENT ATTITUDE MAY NOT URGES WELL WITH THE ONGOING EXERCISE, SINCE TO QUOTE YOU I WILL TRY” POSES NO CONFIDENCE, WE NEED CONFIDENCE FROM YOU HENCE YOU WILL BE WALKING ON A VERY TIGHT ROPE.
AS YOU MAY NOT BE VERY CONVERSANT WITH THE SYSTEMS OF THINGS OUT HERE IN AFRICA, ONCE A CONSIGNMENT BOX IS NOT ATTEMPT TO WITHIN THE STIPULATED PERIOD, THERE IS EVERY TENDENCIES THAT THE OWNER OF SUCH CONSIGNMENT WILL BE MANIPULATED BY THE HAWKS WHO HAS THEIR EYES OPEN FOR ANY AVENUE TO MAKE QUICK MONEY AND IN THIS COMMONPLACE PHENOMENON WILL BE FORCED TO LOOSE WHAT IS LEGALLY HIS, THIS IS A SITUATION VERY PREVALENT IN THE CORRUPT SYSTEM WE OPERATES OUT HERE.
THUS, WE OUGHT TO USE EVERY ARSENALS IN OUR AMOURS NOW TO FIGHT TOOTH-AND-NAILS TO GET THIS DONE WITH BEFORE THOSE UNSCRUPULOUS, MISFIT CRIMINALS IN VERY HIGH POSITION IN THE AIR PORT PUTTING ON THEIR OFFICIAL UNIFORMS AS EXECUTIVES IN OUR MIDST GOT WINDS OF YOUR APPARENT RELUCTANCES…DON’T ALLOWS THESE FACELESS CROOKS HAVE THEIR OPPORTUNITIES BECAUSE ONCE YOU PAID THE FEE YOU ARE TECHNICALLY GUARANTEE YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR ADDRESS ALSO I PERSONALLY WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE MONEY TODAY FOR URGENT DELIVER OF YOUR CONSIGNMENTBOX , I AM EAGERLY WAITING ON THE WING WITH ANXIETY FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE AND SWIFT COMPLIANCE TO THIS BASIC INSTRUCTION!!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I ran into this "slave seeking master" profile on FMF

Quote:

About Me
My name is kate , I am living in Texas, i am 26 yrs old, 6.1ft, 116ib, My parent as dead 3yrs ago in motor accident, i have been in BDSM lifestyle since 3year ago and i serve my ex master in Alabama U S, but that my ex master as dead 6month ago after my ex master as dead i have been living with one of my friend in Texas, so I have been looking for master or someone will take good care of me. I'm slave looking for master to serve 24/7 till end of my life time, I'm looking for master will take good care of me and take me as he property till end of my life time. I train in cooking: casseroles, chili, roasts, pork chops, hamburgers, sausages (various kinds, and prepared in different ways.....I also like potatoes, and gravy, and vegetable along with many meals. i have got lots of experience such as anal sex, bondage, caning, spanking, nipple clamping, breast bondage, orgasm denial, deep throat and so on. That is little about me sir, can you tell me about yourself too? i hope to hear back from you asap. I am considerate, sensitive, respectful, very passionate, and fun-loving; have a great sense of humor; I am well-travelled (internationally) and also well-read; I have no racial hang-ups or prejudices; ,erotic sexual encounter with a hot and horny female, with the female of a couple (I am straight), or with two females; have above average sex drive and abilities; am drug and disease free; I am a non-smoker and drink very infrequently; I am long-lasting (lots of stamina) and can perform repeatedly; am well endowed (7 1/2 - +8") and know how to use it; I enjoy oral with the right person (receiving and giving); I will do anal, but I do not enjoy being done anally in any way; I give great massages and love long, passionate kisses, caresses and touches; I really love sex 24/7; think about it all the time; not looking for love or commitment at this time; perfect encounter to me is where we both know what we want and just go for with so we can enjoy one another; I fantasize about doing two women at once and also doing a sexy female while her male companion watches and masturbates to orgasm.o

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I had about 5-10 minutes in chat with this one and his connection died. When I woke the next day I find this at the bottom of our talk

Quote:

[7/11/2013 11:08:29 PM] miss_kelvina.love: One thing about you men is, many of you pretend to be who you are not, just to get a lady up to you wherever you are and use her up to satisfy your sexual needs and later drop her. I hope you are different but how can I be sure that I will be safe while with you and will not be maltreated as just a sex slave. How can I trust you on this?

Yesterday he begins our chat with

[7/14/2013 10:10:47 AM] Derrick Ratt: Are you here?
[7/14/2013 10:11:13 AM] miss_kelvina.love: yes darling i have been waiting for you for a while
[7/14/2013 10:11:24 AM] Derrick Ratt: There's my girl!How is your weekend?
[7/14/2013 10:11:55 AM] miss_kelvina.love: darling i always like swex when you fuck me harder
[7/14/2013 10:12:11 AM] Derrick Ratt: I have no clue about that
[7/14/2013 10:12:26 AM] Derrick Ratt: I din't get your mail with the pictures
[7/14/2013 10:12:49 AM] Derrick Ratt: How come?
[7/14/2013 10:12:53 AM] miss_kelvina.love: okay darling let me send them through skype
[7/14/2013 10:13:07 AM] Derrick Ratt: I don't want it through skype
[7/14/2013 10:13:13 AM] Derrick Ratt: I need it by mail
[7/14/2013 10:13:18 AM] Derrick Ratt: Please
[7/14/2013 10:13:28 AM] Derrick Ratt: I can't save things through here
[7/14/2013 10:14:54 AM] miss_kelvina.love: okay darling i will deffinatly send them after this chat
[7/14/2013 10:15:00 AM] miss_kelvina.love: am very sure of that
[7/14/2013 10:15:14 AM] Derrick Ratt: Please do it now. You said that the other day
[7/14/2013 10:15:19 AM] Derrick Ratt: I never got them
[7/14/2013 10:15:24 AM] miss_kelvina.love: i send the frist one but dont what happen that if couldnt reach you
[7/14/2013 10:15:48 AM] Derrick Ratt: Please send them again
[7/14/2013 10:16:52 AM] miss_kelvina.love: okay dear i will am very sure of that
[7/14/2013 10:17:04 AM] miss_kelvina.love: so tell me what are you doing at the moment
[7/14/2013 10:17:15 AM] Derrick Ratt: Waiting for these pictures
[7/14/2013 10:22:06 AM] Derrick Ratt: Are you sending them?

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

If you ever get a job at the Federal Ministry of Finance whatever you don't ever 'push' Mrs Iweala's file to the wrong room Laughing

Quote:

You can never know how useless a man is until you give him a task to execute. I got back yesterday and called someone to help me push two very important files to a particular office. And he pushed the files to the wrong office. If one does not understand an instruction, should he not ask questions for clarification. I hate it when people muddle up simple tasks. I am sorry, this is not your business. I am just irritated.

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:24 pm

RATS! My Cancer Ladette died this Mooning:

Quote:

Blessings and glory, We are writing to you on behalf of Mrs Rita Williams our patient and your seeking person here in our hospitals, after her surgery operation she can’t get her self well, we tried very well to save her life as a human being that we are but unfortunately we can’t make it. We regretfully announce to you about the painful and sorrowful great loss of Mrs Rita Williams who died this mooning around 3.45 am, after some hours of her cancer surgery transfusion.

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