Scammer Genus

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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:47 am

wowwow wrote:

The Fantasist (Nutsia fantasia) Lad who indulges in flights of fancy that push the wider bounds of reason.

Quote:

Goooooood afternoon sir! I'm George from the credit card company and we have 33,000,000 monies that need to be removed from your bank before they are burned in the flash fire.

This isn't a lad, it's a UK baiter having some fun. He's quoting George Agdgdgwngo from the Fonejacker TV show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MTFauI8INY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgHQDhoAc6s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G303-Gb3yY

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:30 am

Well spotted, I don't watch phonejacker Smile

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 7:41 pm

The Inarticulate (Illiteratus unfluentus) Lad whose claims of fluency in English are slightly unconvincing.

Quote:

my favorite language is English but our official language favorite French, but i speak English very fluently because i attended an American and English speaking private school all in my country for almost all my school, i will like you to send me your pictures and also try to call me as requested so that we can hear each other voices,

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:33 pm

The Customs Ninja: A Lad who thinks that the Customs service should be more akin to active service.

Quote:

sometime early this some criminals came to steal some consignment boxes .it was a heavy gun battle between the customs security and the rubbers. and solders were called to the rescue of the situation..
12 rubbers were killed. some injured in the process...

(Why Customs Ninja? Google for the Mall Ninja and you'll see)

The Patroniser: In their own words...

Quote:

they monitor a lot boxes and cargo belonging to a lot foreign diplomats/VIPs like your humble self.

Quote:

Reference to your mail from your humble self today been 24th July 2006.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

The Universal Healthcare: Asks for money for urgent medical treatment that must be paid upfront. Often claims that they will not last more than a week or so without the money, but somehow keeps haggling on for months.

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:49 pm

Nice guys,

How about

The Wet Dreamer (Bustii Slumberus) Love lad who reveals they have nasty lucid dreams about you

Quote:

i have a wonderful dream and it reveals part of my future plans with you,so iam not surprise to here this question from you,in the dream i was with you in the church with my two kids,and they were calling you mummy,then you told me that i have to buy a yartch that will be taking us from america to japan and africa,that you are tired of airplane then i bought it,when we sail round and reach africa you told me that you will like to spend the rest of our life in ghana,then i was worried why must you make that choice,you said because you don't want me run away,i called the a revrend father to pasuad you so that we go back to america,you refused and start crying,then the revrend told me to buy you america in ghana that i will love it the way you too will love it, then surddenly i saw ourselve in a big mansion non have ever seen before in ghana,in the compaund party were going on many people garthered dancing for us then you ask me if iam happy i told yes and every body was laughing claping hand for us,many thing happened in the dream which i could not remenber all, but iam sure we make love because i work up late this morning for church and saw myself wet,and all was a dream

It reads worse as apparently they did it in front of a crowd of people clapping!

puke

The Universal Healthcare (Choppaicum Medicus) Asks for money for urgent medical treatment that must be paid upfront. Often claims that they will not last more than a week or so without the money, but somehow keeps haggling on for months.

Not sure why I haven't listed this before as this is kind of at the core of the Sick and the needy genus.

The Customs Ninja (Yastrebicum Ninjaus) A Lad who thinks that the Customs service should be more akin to the 'secret' service.

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:26 pm

The Mistranslated (Illiteratus linguia) A confused lad who writes his scam mails in a language you don't understand because you claim to hail from a certain geographic location. I think I said New Mexico Smile

I guess he couldn't translate the first bit.

Quote:

(BLESS YOU ARE).

Dios te bendiga mi Hijo.

Yo soy el Rev. Thomas Nicodemo.
Recibo el correo que me envió sobre el proyecto de $ 300.000.00. Dólares estadounidenses que Condoleezza bendición mantuvo conmigo, y ella me pide que envíe esto a usted como una compensación por su esfuerzo en ayudar a su pasado.
Mientras tanto, usted tiene que enviar a mí la información acerca de cómo voy a enviar el regalo para el proyecto de modo que voy a ir a la oficina de DHL para preguntar sobre la forma de enviar el proyecto para que a través de DHL.
Por favor, envíame tu información de contacto, tales como:

Su nombre completo.
Dirección.
País.
Número de Teléfono.

Mantenga la bendiga.
REV. Nicodemo THOMAS.
+221 777 312 573.

Que?

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

12 rubbers were killed

Uhmm....

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:21 pm

OMG .. that's a bit comdomsending Wink

Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:53 am

The Coroner (Illiteratus certificatus) Ignorant lad who sends you death certificates which defy belief.

Bullet shorts - now I want a pair of them!

He finally gave up the ghost! - Please Louise ..

And apparently Dr. Barry Kigan has perfected the art of duplicating his writing perfectly every time. Why would anyone sign the same form twice?

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 5:10 pm

The Sufferer (Tohellicum sufferus) Lad who admits to a fellow lad or baiter that he hasn't made any money from his scams, and has suffered from nothing but time wasting.

Quote:

Dear 0latunji G0mer,

I received your email and iam so happy that iam meeting a guy like you. Please 0latunji i would like to work with you, iam not an IBO i am from delta state and i really need money my brother. I suffered so much on this very business but nothing to show for it till this moment. I need person like you to put me through.

This world is a very small place and i know that you can help me. Please i need your help urgently. Right now i am in lagos, my telephone number is 08033206122 and my name is hillary. Please i will be very happy if you can call me or send an email to me as soon as you receive this message.

Thank.
Hillary.

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:54 pm

Mr Machismo: a Love Lad who thinks that boasting of prowess in bar fights will impress a girl.

Quote:

Lad: i have africa man power
Lad: leave nicu for me
Lad: i will disgrace him by beating him to cry
Cammy: He has several different types of martial arts. He also has a concealed carry permit.
Cammy: And then you'd have to convince my brother. He's even tougher.
Lad: u dont know me
Lad: i do beat 4 men at a time
Lad: i went to night club here in london last weekend
Cammy: So?
Lad: i beat 5 men and all ladies was happy with me
Lad: thats the way i will beat nicu
Lad: tell him i wanna take u away from him by beating him to shame
Cammy: You're a fucking psychopath

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 11:25 am

Nice one Yastreb.

Mr Machismo (Yastrebicum macho) Love Lad who thinks that boasting of prowess in bar fights will impress a girl.

The Victim (Tohellicum outsus) Lad who accuses us of being a scammer and tries to play the victim in the matter.

Quote:

I discovered you are not real. A little research exposed everything. Your latest suggestion made me very suspicious and I decided to do a little check. You have been scamming me all the while. There is no money. Please go through this website. http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=208097 Its all about you and your lazy business. I will tell the major that you are a scam. Dr. Bernard.

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:47 pm

The Guru (Nutsia meditatus) Confused ashram lad who asks you to aid his lord and guru, who will pull millions of dollar bills out of his wrinkled brown ass. Now that's magic.

Quote:

With the compliment of the season to you and your family and hope everything is going on well with you together with your business.

My missive is you to inform you due to the guruji lord who is coming to india to help people and buld big teple and ayurvedic hospital in india ,because my mother was saint to spiritual hebalist GURU from a third AFRICA developing country.Now in which is being carried out twice in five years due to the almighty power of REFORMED GURU FRATERNITY in africa.

Infacts,i will like you if you can see by yourselfs because his duty is to cure diseases of various kinds of both spiritual,Physical Problems like diabetes, strokes, tuberculosis, strong piles, lack of pregnacy, fibroid diseases, curing of deaf and dumb, lame walk, and several diseases on the surface of the earth and make Poor to be rich and richer to be richest with the help of Ancient spiritual herbalist Power authority And also in position to invoke and produce out millions in any curency in the world.
Moreover, am secretly searching for a honest Person who can stand in india because he will be comming to india to perform his power and build a Acient temple in your city.

Also i will be very happy if you can invite and provide a comfortable Place/room where the guru will Perform his power and involk the found in any type of curency you require,and to assure you that there is practically no risk involve. And my main benefits at the end of this is that out of the money being invoke out spiritually which can be as a legal tender anywhere in the world,and also proceeds will be used in opening a medical ayurvedic hospital for the god of reformed guru in india and help people practising and curable of different types of diseasess.

Also,am looking forward to hear from you with the following reformed power of guru and involk any type of curency you want in a save rooms you provide in your city,also giving you the gurus mail so that you might like to tell him your problems and let him know that you are from me in AFRICA.

Is the lad confusing a guru with a genie?, one of the funniest mails I've read in a long time.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:55 am

The Unnatural Death (Tohellicum fatalitus) Lad whose explanation of the events leading up to his clients death defy credibility.

Quote:

On that unfortunate day hear the shore of
Gigilo, a tiny island about 18 miles off Italy Tuscan coast, the ship
capsized resulting to the death of so many passengers, during the time
one of our passenger came to me with a sealed titanium trunk with a
big size envelope containing documents and details of the content of
the box, the man informed me to take full ownership of the Trunk and
he immediately died on the spot

Hmm, as those who died probably died from drowning, you must have either shot him dead, or during the throws of a major heart attack the man managed to drag this titanium trunk to you over the decks of a ship sinking at 45 degrees to starboard.

Confused

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:23 pm

The Empty Threat (Tohellicum softus) Daffy FBI lad who threatens to put pen to paper if we don't comply.

Quote:

We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you
fail to respond back to us with the payment then
we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:47 am

Diplomatic Immunity Deficiency Syndrome: also known as DIDS, this afflicts Lad diplomats with consignment boxes in airports, and who seem to be unaware of the Vienna Convention on diplomatic immunity.

Quote:

I have just arrive here at the Malaysia International Airport in with your consignment which is to be deliver to you.but right now I am facing some difficulties with the airport authority wanting to open and search your consignment to know the content of the boxes which is not supposed to be so and I have disagreed with them on this act.
But right now, the airport authority has demanded from me the (VAT AUTHORIZATION CERTIFICATE). which I need to present to them at the airport so that there will not open and see what is the content of the consignment because i was given an instruction from my office in Ghana that on no circumstances should the consignment be open until they get to it's rightful owner and with your name and information attached on the boxes it indicate that you are the rightful owner of this consignment.
Therefore I advice that, you get back to me as soon as you receive this mail with the certificate needed by the airport if you have it. and I have also call my office director in Ghana regarding the situation and they told me that this certificate can only be obtain situation and they told me that this certificate can only be obtain from the (IRS) Internal revenue services Office in Ghana and it is amounted for $350 to get it. Please do act fast to obtain the certificate so that it can be present to them for your consignment to be release and delivered to you immediately because I have 24hrs to submit this documented needed.

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:55 am

Thanks Yastreb.

The Diplomatic Immunity Deficiency Syndrome (Yastrebicum diploimmunitatus) Lad affected by this syndrome, also known as DIDS. Commonly afflicts Lad diplomats with consignment boxes in airports. Symptoms include being unaware of the Vienna Convention on diplomatic immunity, as well as severe flatulence and verbal diarrhea.

The Figuratively Speaking (lliteratus figuratum) Severely illiterate lad who repeats cash amounts several times in a single paragraph. Strain of the repetative.

Quote:

I am hereby writing below underline message from
deeply button of my heart just to keep you validate about your total
sum of $5,500,000,00,which you has been expected to receive so far
upon all the money you speeded was invalid, moreover avoid got me
wrong, take note, your total amount $5,500,000,00, has been deposited
into our custody, by Court of Justice Benin Republic, and all the
instruction they gave us was to contact you regards method you wish to
receive the $5,500,000,00,furthermore.

.. there's more?

.. I wonder if anyone's ever found a deeply button in their heart. *sigh*

The Newsworthy (Illiteratus journalitici) Illiterate lad who cuts and pastes news articles into his emails in a vain attempt to avoid spam filters.

Quote:

Hello, It is my ultimate wish to consult you to assist in the recovering of Late Stephan´s $10.5 million in his account before his death.I wish you will have the desire to communicate with me so that I can be able tolet you know more details. Regards Barrister James williams

Scientist invents way to keep people alive even when they can't breathe by injecting oxygen into the blood

The procedure, which works by injecting oxygen molecules enclosed in fatty molecules directly into the bloodstream, could grant people an extra 30 minutes of life when they cannot breathe.

Why he would think that adding a non related news article to the email would convince the reader that this was legitimate beggars belief.
Rolling Eyes

The Reverse Hitlad (Deathicum protectivus) CIA lad who provides protection against Hit Lads.

Quote:

RE : INFORMATION

I HOPE THIS MESSAGE WILL GET TO YOU , AS I DECIDED TO USE YOUR OFFICIAL EMAIL .
AN ASSASSIN IS AFTER YOUR LIFE , YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN IMPLICATED SOME WHERE OR SOME HOW OVER A PAST FINANCIAL MATTER .
ALL INFORMATION AND CONCRETE EVIDENCE WILL BE FORWARDED TO YOU , BUT THAT SHOULD BE AFTER THE APPREHENSION OF THE ASSASSIN .
PLEASE DO NOT DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION TO ANY BODY, INCLUDING ANY OTHER ENFORCEMENT IN YOUR REGION .THIS IS BECAUSE OUR EFFORT TO TRAP THE ASSASSIN MIGHT BE JEOPARDIZE , IF OUR STRATEGIES ARE EXPOSE BY OTHER ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES BEHIND THIS CRIME .

TO PROCEED FURTHER , YOU ARE ADVISE TO BOOK WITH OUR CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE BUREAU . THIS WILL ENABLE US TO PLAN YOUR INTERNATIONAL AND LOCAL COVERAGE FOR SURVEILLANCE AND PROTECTION .

TO BOOK FOR THIS SERVICE mailto: [email protected]

REGARDS,
AGENT BECKAM .
CENTRAL INTELLIGENT BUREAU .

Not sure I've ever heard of this agency .. erm I mean bureau Smile

But apparently they are central and intelligent.

Perhaps send this on to your friendly neighbourhood hitlad saying you are paying for protection. Don't forget to include this idiots email address.

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:02 pm

The Choreographer (Nutsia Dancus) Strange lad who invents his own unique dance routines.

Quote:

WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT YOU HAVE FAILED TO DANCE BY THE RULE OF THE FBI

Quote:

But if you don't have respect 4 life, be prepare to dance to the music
of the dead.

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:34 pm

The Direction confused

Quote:

Hi! Dear,
I am Tracy I want to be a special friend in your life, and would like to know more about you. You'll know more about me as time goes bye, but please let it be something real and not fake. send me your email contact it will Enable me to send my picture to you privately in your box , Will be glad if you can send me your pictures through the above mentioned addresses.

my Email [email protected]

Tracy

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 5:45 am

A down-to-earth guy (Terradufus Ignoramus)

Quote:

we have arranged your payment of (£3.5millions) tree millions five hundred thousand british ponds

Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:32 am

Haha thanks guys,

The Naturalist (GeorgeBushicum Terradufus) Lad whose language skills are slighted towards the natural world.

The Upside Down (Mortallicum misdirectionum) Lad who confuses above with below and most probably doesn't know his arse from his tit either.

Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:55 pm

The Yes Man - Encountered in phone calls; this Lad starts answers with "Yes" even when it makes no sense to do so.

"What happened when you tried the number?"
"Yes. It is not working."

"Either you shape up or ship out, OK?
"Yes. Listen to me..."

The Undecided - Lad whose catch phrase is "So what are we going to do now?"

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 1:03 pm

As we already have

The Yes Man (Nutsia Okai): Ends every sentence with 'OK' for no apparent reason.

The Affirmative (Yastrebicum Affermitus) Phone lad who starts answers to questions with "Yes", even when it makes no sense to do so.

The Undecided (Yastrebicum Noclueus) Lad who expects you to lead. Whose catch phrase is "So what are we going to do now?"

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:18 pm

After listening to some of Yastrebs great calls, I thought of these.

The Garbled (Cellicum uninteligablis) Phone lad who fails to understand that mixing voice altering software and a poor grasp of the English language is a fatal combination.

The Airs & Disgraces (Cellicum importantus) Phone lad who attempts to put on a false voice of authority during his calls.