Bravo's Master Cleansing

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Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:33 pm

Today I am starting a Master Cleanse regiment. If your not familiar with the procedure you can find more info here http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Cleanse

Basically you just drink a concoction they call lemonade and water. No food. Worst of all no alcohol!!

Your supposed to do it for 7-10 days but being the procrastinator I am I waited too long. I'm going on vacation next week and I don't want to do this insane ritual while on vacation. I had to go to a crab boil yesterday so there was no way I was starting this past weekend. So I'm just doing 5 days. If I can make it the 5 days I will try it again later for 7.

I'm supposed to keep a journal about my feelings and bs. Instead of writting it down I decided to post it hear so you guys can <strike>encourage</strike> laugh at me.

Quote:

Day one:
Woke up at 6:00am excited to start my cleansing! Made my first batch of "lemonade" for the day. I tried doing the warm sea salt laxative but almost threw up. Probably because I skipped the pre-diet warm up yesterday and instead ate a few pounds of crab and several beers. I opted for a regular laxative and will try the salt water thing tomorrow. The "lemonade" is not too bad. Not crazy about the cayenne powder but it's in the recipe for a reason. So far not too hungry from skipping breakfast. The hunger probably won't really hit until 3 today. So far so good.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:45 pm

Oh you're doing it to yourself. I thought you were cleansing Master.

Good luck, see you on the other side.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:47 pm

^^I tried but as soon as I had him all cleaned up and in his seersucker suit he went outside and played in a mud puddle.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:55 pm

Good luck, Bravo! I can assure you that you *will* have a headache soon. Stay hydrated!! We're expected to hit 101F today and I can't imagine it's going to be any cooler for you.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:46 pm

Ha! Good luck, you'll need it.
Id survive week with no alcohol, but no food.... Gosh, that'd kill me.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:50 pm

Quote:

I tried doing the warm sea salt laxative but almost threw up.

Sounds logical. People over here use warm, salty water as a vomit-inducing method. I'm afraid that tomorrow won't be any better.

I hope the weight gain after the diet won't be too much Smile

Anyways, best of luck. I'd never be able to do such a diet. I enjoy eating far too much Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:58 pm

For dinner tonight, I am having Bacon, Sausage, Black Pudding, Fried Eggs, Mushrooms, Fried Onions, Grilled Tomatoes, Baked Beans, Toasted Bread and a nice cup of tea.

Good luck with your lemonade.

BTW. Here's my journal:

Quote:

I'll probably eat so much, I'll puke.
Happy days!!

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:07 pm

^^ Dinner of the gods ^^

Goodluck with the diet buddy Smile

Unfortunetly i've failed, i just had a mcdonalds.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Why are you doing this to yourself? It sounds very unpleasant. I'd never make it past the first day.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:34 pm

^^ To be honest just to see if I have more will power than my wife. She tried this a month ago and only made it 24 hours. She is anxiously waiting for me to give up. This morning before I left her and the kids were eating a big stack of fluffy pancakes Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:32 pm

I think I would rather have a colonoscopy which is over with in a couple hours than go through that Master Cleanse therapy for 7-10 days! Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:04 pm

After the first day it becomes way easier...
most important is that your colon is empty... then the hunger will be gone...
[img]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enema[/img] sombody told me that this is helping but there is also a bunch of natural laxatives to try first Wink

the first food after will be the best food in your life...

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:22 pm

Baitsamurai wrote:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enema

Not that desperate yet but tomorrow is another day. I wish NN was still around.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:40 pm

Not to put down your hopes, but back in college, one of the others went on that diet. He got terribly ill. No kidding. Sad

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:26 pm

^^Yeah I've heard a couple stories and my timing is great right before vacation. Our neighbor down the street did it and had good results. Some people go all hardcore and do the max 21 days. No way I could come close to that.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:36 pm

bravo95 wrote:

^^ To be honest just to see if I have more will power than my wife. She tried this a month ago and only made it 24 hours. She is anxiously waiting for me to give up. This morning before I left her and the kids were eating a big stack of fluffy pancakes Twisted Evil

Your wife sounds smart. No offence, but this sounds incredibly unhealthy, its sugar, water, acid, and stuff to make you poop...there's no protein, or other vitamins. Your muscles will start to atrophy on this. Why on earth don't you just drink more water and eat more raw vegetables?

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:39 pm

as someone who knows a bit about the human body, please stop doing this, these kind of diets have the same scientifical basis as parapsichology

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:48 pm

bravo95 wrote:

Some people go all hardcore and do the max 21 days.

Yes, relative of mine wanted to go for 40 days!!! because he read some messed up articles and he said he'll get to the point where he lives off "astral matter"... He's a bit out of his mind, don't know how long did he go though...

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:54 pm

Mortal wrote:

he said he'll get to the point where he lives off "astral matter"...

That must've been the lemon juice talking.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:00 pm

^^^^^
More likely the lack of vitamin B 1, since there is shit all in lemons,which results in confabulation and amnesia. It's the same deficiency that happens to alcoholics, which is where the image of the drunk who makes up stories comes from.

*edit - Apparently it has some thiamine in it. But only 4% of your daily need per lemon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

master drunk crabs stories

so this thread is about me Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:19 pm

sounds like snake oil, and deliberately drinking salt water will kill you as it throws over your proper sodium balance like an overcooked Jenga.

Plenty of rice, wholemeal bread, fresh veg, buy decent meat and less of it, lots of water and less alcohol and plenty of sleep. I'm only aspiring to these ideals, and I eat plenty of trash and poison, but I don't think I'd try to live on lemonade.

Astral matter, ffs, darwin would be proud. Did he live?

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:37 pm

I think all that salt in the water would not be good for one's BP, as we are supposed to avoid salt, save some cases in extremely hot weather.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:40 pm

I'll stick with my diet:

Beverage of Choice: Beer
Food: Boxed Mac & Cheese

But seriously--I'd be afraid to try something like the Master Cleanse Regiment.

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 11:14 pm

This diet sounds more like something you should be inflicting on a lad than trying yourself. Shocked