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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:27 am

The original, started by McFlibbish on Thu Jul 08, 2004 1:02 am, has become too large.

McFlibbish wrote:

For some reason the fact that this dumbsh!t didn't even understand the concept of "form letter" it made me laugh...

Quote:

...ensuring that the above stated credit balance is deposited in my account as Mr. James Scott's legal next of kin.

Thank you in anticipation of your kind co-operation in this matter.

Yours sincerely

( Your Name)

Someone needs to inform him he needs to at least TRY.

Reminds me of Stripes...
Sarge: "Repeat after me, I...state your name..."
Group: "I state your name"

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:20 am

Another one that came in over the New Year:

Quote:

I hereby urged you to call or email me urgently for your comments which will be highly appreciated if you are still alife or not on sick bed with sum of require activation fee $65, to commence the transfer of your first payment $7,000.00usd accordingly

There's only one reply you can make to this:

Quote:

I am sorry, I died last Thursday, but I am still interested in this transaction.

So I made it.

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:31 am

^^ The second one belongs in the "Goofy crap YOU wrote" thread which is buried somewhere around here.

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:39 am

I know. I was just saving y'all the hassle of clicking through links. If he comes back to me, it won't be the first lad I've baited after my death, though.

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:13 am

And another gem from my favorite lad:

Quote:

then how much is the money im telling you to arrange
inorder to get the code ?

I'd say NADA Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:24 pm

From "SIR.JAMES LONGJP":

Quote:

WE ARE ONLY INTERSTED IN THE RELIVANT DOCUMENTS SINGED IN YOUR NAME.

Quote:

THIS COMMISSION HAS SINGED AN AGREEMENT WITH THE UNITED NATION

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:24 am

Quote:

Sorry, this information i gave you is a Privilege information and should be treated as such for your protection against unscrupulous elements like Gomer among us.

They have unscrupulous elements among them? How good of him to point that out.

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:51 pm

And ANTOHER! Very Happy

This lad is a siggy machine Very Happy

Quote:

Can you let your be your word be power if i should realse the code for you?

Yes, I will....wait, what? Shocked

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:05 am

Orphaned refugee wants me to adopt her and bring her to "my" country where she can continue her studies. Of course, as always with these refugees, I have to ask for a picture of her breasts, in order to prove her gender so that she can come in on a fiancée visa.

Quote:

My dear [baiter] how could you request me to send you my breast?what dose that supose to mean? dont know that i am from a royal family, do you want to make me to be blackfirm in this country, Please stop that even if you want me and you to me lovers that should be when i come over there in [country], I take you as a responsable man because me i am a responable girl from a responsable family so lets wait untill i come over there so that we can play our maturlly i hope you understand me.

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:58 pm

From a Senegalese Barrister who was too lazy to answer even one question on the Shield:

Quote:

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY I HOPE CUTE

No, actually it's my refugee fiancee that I'm supposed to spring from the camp that's cute.

Quote:

I HAVE NEVER WEST SUCH TIME IN MY ENTIRE CARRIER

Go West, young man, go West!

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 6:49 pm

A new investment client wrote:

Quote:

I strangle believe that my Application will meet your urgent and favourable consideration.

Well, it is he who will be "strangled"

Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:45 pm

This one lad has been calling my female character "Mr" or "Brother" since October despite repeatedly telling him I am female, and he needs to change the documents he prepares to reflect I am a female.

His response:

Quote:

i will make sure that you die this year.
wait me.

Hopefully I am rid of him.

Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:31 am

Quote:

Vomi,

I saw your comment on the web in quote “E-mail :[email protected] I'm so lonely since my husband died. The 33 million dollars that I inherited don't keep me warm at night. Please, any blanket salesperson reading this should email me immediately.”

I think i am so much carried away by the great heart touching words you left behind like Please, any blanket salesperson reading this should email me, and I must confess that if you are a woman with great beauty of nature that you are endowed with, mostly in all ramification and including your tights, then find me fit and able because I will always be there to give you a crestable romantic reciprocity of much stratified intent strategy of hard core that a man is deemed fit to give out to a so much sweet looking woman like you.

I am a hard man in terms of gift of satisfaction to a woman, of which i presume a sweet looking lady like you deserves and i am ready to give you all that you can think of, both lick from the head which comprises of your eyes, nose, ears, lips to the two tomatoes of soft great intent touch and of all to the nitigrity of that sweet apple in-between your legs, that i will want to hold onto its mutual cresting for hours before finally resuming the slow hard core up and down working modules.

If you are not engaged back yet, and find my words okay to suit you taste, then i would want you to give it a trier and you will never regret you did, because there is lots more to enjoy than all i have said above.

Christopher

Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:37 am

I explained that I use a phone forwarding service since I have many enemies:

The lad wrote:

Thanks for clarifying me on your profession. Been in enmity with the world shouldn't stop you giving me have a direct phone number to reach you since we have a financial deal.

Kindly go ahead and sign the agreement as well as a direct phone to speak with you .Been my party that i am in the process to entrust such amount of money , we ought to be in oral communication since we are not spirit

Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:29 pm

Here we go:

Quote:

Do not entertain any fear because everything will be carried under the armpit of law both black and whit and in transparency.

Maybe I should have my character whose last name means Smelly Bull bait this guy.

Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:54 pm

^^^ i was just about to quote that one myself Razz

... i was wondering why it smelt a little off Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:34 pm

So Marey Janne's new bank manager has better English than the previous one, but he still came through with this:

Quote:

YOU ARE HEREBY ADVICE TO CONTACT THE ATTORNEY HERE IS THE CONTACT OF THE LAWYER YOU ARE ADVICED TO CALL HIM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE HE IS A NO TIME ATTORNEY.

Well, I suppose that's better than being a "no space" attorney...

insults and more · Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:35 pm

This came in my 4ppl inbox:

Quote:

I am looking for someone who can make me happy by her worm love

Wowwow: this guy may deserve a genus.

Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:42 am

The Form Master lad strikes again, this time in one of his "forms" to Marneus Calgar...

Quote:

specimen signature

Bad move calling a Space Marine a lab rat, mugu Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:57 am

Marey Janne's English has improved! Note however that she's gone from calling my character "Uncle" to being his daughter (well, he already has 2, so what's one more?).. After my character mentioned his health problems..

Quote:

Am happy to hear that you received their transfer form please be fast and print it out and fill it and submit to them for the transfer, God will take control of your knee.

Thanks

Your daughter

Marey Janne

She's not "harppy to hare" any more? Miracles!

Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:59 am

Ezio wrote:

Marey Janne's English has improved! Note however that she's gone from calling my character "Uncle" to being his daughter (well, he already has 2, so what's one more?).. After my character mentioned his health problems..

Quote:

Am happy to hear that you received their transfer form please be fast and print it out and fill it and submit to them for the transfer, God will take control of your knee.

Thanks

Your daughter

Marey Janne

She's not "harppy to hare" any more? Miracles!

"God will take control of your knee"?! Shocked

POSSESSION ALERT! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 2:08 pm

Not so much goofy crap, but read the bit I highlighted.

Quote:

Since we are having issues with the money being sent here because its
huge .. could you try send $1,000 through Western Union and see how it
goes? If it is really genuine ... we have been together for 2 1/2
years now and I dont want to feel like you are playing around with me.
It is your cash and you are getting it through to me and you should
let them know that! I went to my bank and they told me they do not
need no codes since its Ghana. Just convert the money to Naira and
send it through. (Naira - Nigerian Currency)
Please .. I will be patiently waiting to hear from you.
Precious

2 1/2 years? as long as that, blimey, at least he's keeping track.

It's from oluwaseun precious, worth a search if you like reading about 1 man's suffering at the hands of TWAT.

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:32 am

The lads seem a bit obsessed with armpits laterly:

Quote:

Do not entertain any fear because everything will be carried under the armpit law for we are not going to breach bridge any law of country for i will not involve myself in anything that we jeopardize my name because i have a family name and country name to protect.

Or is it the legislators that are obsessed?

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:37 am

Hey, they got me a SOUL! Twisted Evil

Quote:

We are in this transaction to carry out our own part of it. which you are the soul beneficiary of the funds in our bank

That's real JUJU OOOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOO! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:48 pm

Just a snippet from an unsolicited mail

And be endorse by ministry of finance of Ghana to be transfer to you by Dr. Ikenna Uba Western Union Editor General of Money Transfer after African union meeting held in Addi's Ababa at the headquarter with Attached Proof ownership Document to compensate you with lost and damage of any transaction you might have done in Africa and also for you to help their Africans refuges in your country. as your name is listed in good record OF AFRICAN UNION ( A.U) and also supported by united nation ( U.N) for they said amount of money in Attached Proof ownership to be transfer to you name as a good man of dignity you are.

in-accordance with the other giving below you are hereby to provide 10 receivers names to me now immediately you receive this message so that the transfer commence.

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