Hear No Evil. Another ASEM bait.

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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:52 pm

This is another bait in my continuous learning experience on how to use the ASEM to throw the lads off script. Not quite as funny as �See No Evil�, but I still forced the lad to be creative and come up with some original concepts. All in all I would say it was pretty successful.

My emails are in regular, lads in italics and my comments in bold.

I start with a simple ASEM mail to one Mr Colin.

Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: RE: FROM:GLENDOVEN MR COLLA COLIN

Dear Dr Judah,

I hope the $5,000 arrived without any problems. I am now ready to send the next payment of $5,000 for the construction of our radio station for the deaf. Do you want me to use Western Union like last time, or do you prefer some other means of transfer?

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: PLEASE USE THIS NEW INFORMATION TO SEND THE MONEY.

Dear Mr. Hamlet,

Thank you for your mail and your kindheartedness.

As a matter of fact,no money came here.So please I would like you to send the $5,000 with the information below:

Name:FREDRICK CHUKWUEMEKA

ADDRESS:134,BROAD STREET LAGOS-NIGERIA.

NOTE,THE NAME IS ONE OF THE ENGENEERS,THAT IS WHY I DECIDED THAT YOU SHOULD SEND THE MONEY DIRECT TO HIM.

PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU RELEASE THE MONEY,YOU SEND THE PAYMENT INFORMATION INTO THIS MAIL BOX.AND FROM NOW ON,WE SHALL BE COMMUNICATING THROUGH THIS E-MAIL BOX.

EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE.

REGARDS,

DR.JUDAH
________________________________________

Time to plant the seeds for some work for the lad.

Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: PLEASE USE THIS NEW INFORMATION TO SEND THE MONEY.

Dear Dr Judah,

I am sorry to hear that you didn't get the money, but tell me who is this FREDRICK CHUKWUEMEKA? Is he that new assistant you mentioned? Anyway, I'll have the accounting department arrange a new payment order right away. As soon as my chairman has approved of it I will send it.

Meanwhile, how are the documents you promised me coming along? My chairman is very eager to see your suggested list of shows on the new radio station for the deaf and also the technical solutions for broadcasting. Please send them as soon as possible.

Kind regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

Dear Mr. Hamlet,

Thank you for your mail.

Note,Mr Fredrick Chukwuemeka is the new assistant and also an Engeneer he is to supervise other engeneers that will work in the project that is why I said that he is one of the engeneers.

We couldn't send the documents as we have not received the $5,000 you sent.Please I would advice you to forward to me the information of the $5,000 you sent earlier,so that we will be able to trace the money.And please once you send the next $5,000 please don't hesitate to forward the transfer infrmation into this mail box.

Expecting your prompt response.

Best regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

Dear Dr Judah,

It is quite alarming that the money didn't arrive. I thought Western Union is a secure means of transfer. At least, that's what you told me earlier. We will have to investigate this. I spoke to my chairman and he said that he couldn't approve a new payment until we know what happened to the last one. I'll get back to you on this. Meanwhile, you should send the list of shows for the radio station for the deaf. You told me earlier that you already had put it together, so it shouldn't be any problems mailing it to me.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr. Hamlet,

Sequel to your mail of yesterday,while you are investigating the money transfer,please I need to have the information of the transfer so that I will as well trace it from here.

For the programe,I want to send it to you via courier service,but if you want me to send them through e-mail,it means that you have to give me a little time because I will need scan machine to scan the documents.Please I still need the money because it will cost some money to send all the documents to you.Please try to convince your chairman to try and send some money to us.

Waiting for your kind response.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dr Judah,

I don't quite understand. You already have the payment information. I sent it to you in an earlier email. Meanwhile we are investigating on our side.

About the document, I'm sorry but you know the procedure - first you send me the documents and then my chairman can approve the payment. It's just like last time and you had no problems then. Just send the list of shows and you will get the next payment quickly.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

The lad finally comes through and provides me a quite impressive schedule for the radio station. I especially like the �Moral Lesson�; of course we don�t want any immoral deaf running around Lagos.

Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Thank you for your mail.

What really happened,is I can no longer get access into that box again.That is why I started using this mail box.Please if you don't mind,I will like to have the information again.It will really help me to get the payment.

For the programme,see below the LOWDOWN:

MOST OF THE PROGRAMMES WILL BE RUN BY THE DEAFEN.

THE PROGRAMMES SHALL GO THUS:

1.THE DAILY TRANSMISSION WILL BE ON FROM 6:00AM - 12:00 MID NIGHT DAILY.

2.FOR THE DAILY COMMENCEMENT OF TRANSMISSION,AFTER THE NATIONAL ANTHEM,A DEAF WILL SAY THE DAILY PRAYER FOLLOWED BY BIBLE READING AND THE NATIONAL NEWS ALSO BY A DEAF.

3.THE DAILY NEWS WILL BE READ EIGHT TIMES DAILY AND SPORTS NEWS ONES A DAY.

4.PROGRAMMES:-
(a) DON'T LOSS YOUR POTENTIAL,
This programme is to teach both the DEAF and the DUMB not to be intimidated by their disability,that they still have a lot to contribute to the society and the world.

(b) PERSONALITY PLATFORM,
In this programme,we shall bring some disabled personalities that has achieved success in their different fields.The idea is to give hope to the disabled,no matter the kind of disablity.

(c) SPECIAL TUNES,
In special tunes,is only the music played by the disabled will be on the air for the duration of the programme.

(d) MUSIC INTERLUDE,
In music interlude,music of different artistes will be on the air for one hour.

(e) DRAMA BY THE DEAFEN,
This drama will be interpreted to the dumb by their teachers in their verious schools while on the air or it can still be taped.

(f) DRAMA BY THE DUMB,
This will also be interpreted to the deaf by their teachers,but we are not yet sure of the possiblity of putting this on air.We are still working on it.

(g) QUIZ,
There will be upto six different kinds of quizzes to test the knowledge of both the deaf and dumb.

(h) MORAL LESSON,
Moral lesson,is to teach both the deaf and dumb how to live a moral live.And also the ills of immorality.The programme will be interpreted to both the deaf and dumb by their teachers while the programme is on the air.

(i) COMMERCIAL,
There are plans to add commercials in the programmes.As you can see that this project is capital in tensive.

I hope the above LOWDOWN will meet your demand.

Please I will sincerely appreciate it,if you can send the $5,000 by monday morning as well as forwarding the information of the first payment.

Expecting your kind response.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

As a reward I send my pet the WU receipt. Although, I suspect he will have problems opening it since it is a renamed DLL.

Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Dr Judah,

Thank you for this first draft of the list of shows. I will submit it to my chairman promptly. Hopefully he will be able to review it within one or two days. If he has any questions or wants you to add or change anything, I will let you know.

Meanwhile, I resend the copy of the receipt from Western Union. You'll see the control number and all other info there. So far, we haven't had any luck tracking the payment. I thought Western Union was a safe way to send money. Apparently it is not. Let me remind you that it was you who suggested we use it in the first place.

Anyway, get back to me if you find out anything about the missing payment. The Deaf Emancipation in the Third World takes these matters very seriously and we wouldn't want our foundation to get a reputation of losing money.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

�CORRUPT�? Really?

Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

I sincerely appreciate your efforts and concern towards the realization of this great dream.

I just want to inform you that the attachment is "CORRUPT"so please kindly resend it or you just give me the informatins in WRITING,I believe this will be stress free.Please don't be annoyed for stressing you.

Waiting for your prompt response.

Regards.

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

I give the lad some more work to do and also send him another copy of the receipt. Totally blurred, of course.

Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Dr Judah,

My chairman has now reviewed your proposal and he is very happy with it. However, he has a few questions which he has asked to have clarified:

1. Besides the regular news and the sport news, he would like you to add a segment with special news about the deaf and events that affect them. Could you please add this to the schedule and provide a few (at least three) examples of world events that affect the deaf community.

2. In the programme "Personality platform", would it be possible to invite for example a deaf telemarketer or a deaf musician? We want to make sure that all lines of work are represented.

3. In the segment "Music interlude", what kind of music do you think are particularly appealing to the deaf? Please provide some examples.

4. The drama by the dumb is clearly the most interesting idea so far. This will be a huge success. Please describe the technical details on how to put this on air.

5. Could you also include a religious segment, e.g. the "Daily sermon". A deaf or dumb minister would preach the word of God to all deaf listeners in the country.

Well, that's all his comments. Please address them as soon as possible.

About the attachment, I find it very strange that it was corrupt. I try to attach the information once again. Hopefully, you will be able to read it this time.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

I will not let him get away this easily.

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Fwd: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Thank you for all your efforts.

Please I forwarded back the recipt to you,for you to see that it is not readable.Please kindly write down all the informations and send to me.

For the points the CHAIRMAN raised,it has been noted.Infact most of the things he pointed out are in line with what we have in the programmes.Like the news segment,any event that has to do with the disabled must be revealed in the news.So please try to let the chairman know that we are in line with him.We are only appealing for his total support.

Please kindly send the information to me by writting.And what is the CHAIRMAN saying about the next $5,000?

Waiting for your kind response.

Regards,

Dr.Judah
________________________________________

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Dr Judah,

I am sorry you were unable to read the scanned copy of the receipt. I can see now what the problem is. Unfortunately I didn't keep the receipt, only the scanned file, so I don't have the control number available. I will contact Western Union immediately and sort this whole mess out. Don't worry. The D.E.T.H. foundation always honors its agreements and we will do everything in our power to make sure that you get your money.

Meanwhile, I can't go back to my chairman with that brief paragraph you wrote. I need you to address all my questions in the earlier email and give full, lengthy answers. My chairman is very demanding when it comes to things like that, but he is also very generous once all his questions has been answered.

Please get back to me ASAP with these answers and I promise you I will have the issue of the money cleared up in no time!

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

He is developing a bit of an attitude here. Time for a slap...

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

However,thank you for every thing.You see,I am really doubting if you people actually want to assist in this project.As you can understand,I have tried to always respond to your requests.But I am now feeling that you people are not serious.If you are really serious,at least let us have the first payment,you claimed to have sent.Once we have it,I will give you WHATEVER INFORMATION you still need from me.I want you to know that I am commited to you people.But you are putting me in doubt now.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

...and the slap comes. Also we introduce Buffy at Western Union Customer Service.

Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dr Judah,

I haven't replied to your insulting email until now, because I was too upset to compose myself. Finally I have settled down and I am now able to write again.

You have no right to speak to me like that. First of all, let me remind you that it is not about "assisting" you with anything. This is a project run, financed and initiated by the Deaf Emancipation in the Third World foundation to 100%. You are just hired as a technical consultant and local manager. We are your employer. We decide what to do and how. So far we have been nothing but forthcoming in our attempts to facilitate your participation in the project. And how do you repay us? By this incredible outburst! I will not stand for it.

Let me also make perfectly clear to you that we have done our outmost to track the missing payment, while you haven't been helpful at all. We even went as far as to contact Western Union to clearify matters. This is what the told us:

[email protected] wrote:

>Dear Mr Prince,
>
>As regards your request to the payment with
>control number 5931499264, we have done
>extensive research into the matter.
>
>It appear as - since the payment was directed
>to Nigeria - it was halted by our main office in
>accordance to regulation 58.4f, suspect terrorist
>money transfer. The regulation has been activated
>by the Patriot Act of 2001.
>
>To release the payment, please fill out a Suspect
>Money Transfer By-pass Request. The form is
>available at US Western Union offices only.
>
>Sincerely,
>Buffy,
>Western Union Customer Service
>

I will go pick up this form today or tomorrow morning and have it sent to you. Then you can't tell me haven't done everything in our power to retrieve the funds! I am very upset by the way you accuse me. I thought we had a professional relationship.

Meanwhile, I also expect you to answer the completing questions my chairman asked, which I sent in my earlier mail. Remember, I want FULL and EXTENSIVE answers. My chairman will not be please with anything less.

Hamlet
________________________________________

Turns out he responds well to the slap.

Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: I AM ABSOLUTELY SORRY.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

I am absolutely sorry.Please forgive my out bust.It was out of a total frustration.I wish you were here the two times you sent the information to see what I went through to get the information,because we seriousely need that money to get things done here.PLEASE I am sincerely sorry.I only wish that you are here to see the kind of stress one is going through for things to be done accordingly.

For the chairman's request,I promise you,I must answer the questions by tomorrow.I am already weak for the day.Please if you get the information today,don't hesitate to forward the information to me.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

I present him with the baiter produced Suspect Money Transfer By-pass Request. An excellent tool.

Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY SORRY.

Dr Judah,

Your apology is accepted, but I expect you to send me the requested additional information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, I attach the form for Suspect Money Transfer By-pass Request from Western Union. Please fill it out and send it back to me so I can submit it to the Western Union office here in the US.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY SORRY.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Thank you for accepting my apology.

I was going through the questions the chairman asked when your mail came in with the attached form.After going through the FORM,I found out that most of their questions will be difficult for me to answer.

Please I have to advice you to call the money back and split it in a way that it will not be suspected.Please I am sorry for the stress you are going through.

I must respond to the questions tomorrow.Please tell the chairman not to be offended for the delay.

Please once you call the money back,you send it in batches and then forward the information to me.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY SORRY.

Dear Dr Judah,

I am afraid you don't understand my position here. I cannot call back the money. They have been frozen in accordance to the Patriot Act, put into place after September 11 and the terrorist acts. The only way to release them is for you to fill out the form to the best of your ability. Please try to do it as soon as possible, as well as the additional information my chairman requested. He is losing his patience and I don't want him to be mad at me. He can be quite terrible if he is upset.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

Once again, he gives me the result of his hard thinking work.

Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Thank you for your mail and efforts.

Please,I must confess to you,I cannot answer almost half of the questions in that FORM.Please you have to know how to sort out this problem.

Sequel to chairman's questions,below are the answers from number 2-5:

2.Yes,if you can go back again to the programme LOWDOWN,I said that in the personality PLATFORM,is only the deformed will be in the programme.And what we will do is to hunt for all the disabled personalities and bring them to the programme.

3.You know the deaf cannot hear,so what we intend to do,is to go to their schools and arrenge with their verious school authories for them to creat time when this programme will be on air so that their teachers will be able to lecture them through the MUSIC that will be on the AIR and also creat a kind of intertainment for the deafen.

4.If you can still go back to the programme LOWDOWN,I said that we are still working on the possiblity of putting on air a DRAMA BY THE DUMBS.So we are still on it.

5.You know the students will be the most beneficiaries of all these programmes as it will be used to lecture them in their schools.Another beneficiaries are the educated ones.Certinly,there must be a religious segment in the programme and it will be interpreated to the students by their teachers.

I believe the questions have been answered.

Please Mr.hamlet,I would like you to tell the chairman to release the next $5,000 since the other one is having problem.Please once you are ready to send that one,you have to let me know so that I will give you the names you will use to send them in batches so that the authority will no longer suspect it.

Waiting for your kind response.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Dr Judah,

Thank you for your replies. I will forward them to the chairman for his consideration.

Meanwhile, I must tell you that we cannot approve any further payments until this latest batch has been released. That would mean a $5,000 loss, which is not acceptable to the foundation. You have to try your best to fill out the form and send it back to me. That is the only way we can retrieve the money. Once they have been called back, we can re-send it in smaller batches as you suggested, but first we need to release them. Please fill out the form to the best of your abilities.

Regards,
Hamlet
________________________________________

He keeps trying to wriggle out of filling out the form.

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Thank you for your mail.

If you can go through the form again,you will notice that they will not accept the form,unless all the informations are provided 100%.So since I am not ready to give them all the informations,I am not going to fill any thing.PERIOD.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

He was embarrassed. That�s excellent.

Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004
From: Colin Shand
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dear Mr.Hamlet,

Following my mail to you yesterday,I just want to let you know what happened yesterday .So that you wont feel that I deliberately did not want to fill that FORM.You know when I tried to get the information of the place I do use for sending my mails,I innocently inquired from the owner of the place,and I sincerely told him why I need the informations,to my greatest shock,he first laughed at me as if I am the only fool on eath.Before he bluntly told me that he cannot even give the informations to his mother.He then asked,if really that what I said is the truth,why should the WESTERN UNION OFFICE accept the money first before asking to fill FORM.Mr Hamlet,I think this is a sincere question. I must tell you the truth,I had never feel embarassed the way I was yesterday.

I hope you will now understand why I cannot fill the form.

Regards,

Dr.Judah.
________________________________________

Well, I wanted to keep this bait short and now it�s getting boring. Time to end it. Fortunately he has given me an excellent reason to blame him for the failure.

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004
From: Hamlet Prince
Subject: Re: STILL WAITING.

Dr Judah,

Now you�ve really done it. Your refusal to fill out the form has convinced the FBI that the money is being used for terrorist activities. They raided the office of the D.E.T.H. foundation this morning, arresting the chairman and several others. The office was trashed and they beat up our old janitor. All our operations have been closed down and all projects cancelled. This is all thanks to you. Now there won�t be any radio station for the deaf in Africa, or an orphanage for adults in Afghanistan, or a whale refuge in the Kalahari Desert.

So thank you for nothing doctor. We made a great mistake in dealing with you. Don�t ever contact us again. I hope you are ashamed of yourself.

Hamlet

No more replies, but I think I got some pretty good work out of him. As usual, thanks to J. Dog for the ASEM and thanks for the Suspect Money Transfer By-pass Form (I forget who created it).

Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:44 am

All I hear is Radio Mugu... (with apologies to Freddie Mercury)

I liked the part when he had to invent shows for the station. Good work.

Quote:

(a) DON'T LOSS YOUR POTENTIAL,
This programme is to teach both the DEAF and the DUMB not to be intimidated by their disability

Especially targeted at mugus - It doesn't matter if your dumb, you can still send out scam letters! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 10:57 pm

"Drama by the dumbs"

My god you are an accomplice to putting mime on the radio! That is a hanging offence in just about every country in the world. Mimes should never be encouraged, as it just makes them tug on that invisible rope all the harder.

What have you started? .....

Hmm whats next... Weaving for those with no fingers? Fine Wine Appreciation for those with no sense of taste? You are running out of senses.

Hear No Evil. Another ASEM bait.	View next topic View previous topic