Horse (and other animal ) selling lad

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Ok, I came across this guy on Gumtree quite a while ago.
I baited him as an 8 year old wanting a monkey, then Sunshine did a marvellous job with him, getting trophy pictures etc.
He's now dropped Sunshine and I was running out of ways to say my 8year old couldn't get to WU

But then I found this in my in box

Quote:

Please can you link me with some people you know that love to buy HORSES, i have some HORSES that i am given out at a very affordable price.
Please try and look for this people for me .if you can get me some people that can buy my HORSES,i will send you something through a shipping agency for free. A YORKIE PUPPY IF YOU WISH.
Give them my email address if you see any body that i ready to buy a Horses.i will be waiting to hear from you Samuel.

Hope to hear from you soon

Best regards

Slight hint of desperation there, poor soul. I think it's only fair we oblige him.
Have fun, mind and say Sam sent you

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:16 am

I'm on it Nanny Ogg. ok to say Samuel sent me? I'm having so much fun on a co-bait with PG Malone and his bulldog buying.

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:41 am

The Surname is surprisingly apt for dealing with animals

Quote:

Best regards
Bernis Kull

Why don't you ask him for some Baby Seals Wink

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:45 am

Hi Nanny Ogg,
A word of warning; Don't team up with this Brainiac.
He killed his grandmother for $500 to pay a hitlad.

Then he puts his other grandmother into a coma. She wakes up to get an email from a hitlad. Her life was in danger

Would you deal with a conman like that? I did, he is good.

The hitlad has not replied. Bugger.

In all seriousness, send photos of the horses. Promise to meet 200miles+ : Your lady has a stud farm, in need of good stud horses. Must have photos.

Cheers From the land downunder & vegemite

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

^

It was when I asked for a unicorn that I got the first horse offered.
Please do say Samuel sent you.
I'll start nagging him for the puppy in a wee while.
According to Sunshine this lad has some interesting picture of horses... um... bits

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 Aug 2009 Posts: 25

speaking of Unicorns, they sell canned unicorn meat on thinkgeek.com

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:36 pm

Nanny Ogg wrote:

According to Sunshine this lad has some interesting picture of horses... um... bits

indeed he does - I told him that the EU Animal Health people needed them to positively ID the horses when they arrived.

He's an avid form filler so be sure and send him plenty of documents to complete

This is him, describing himself perfectly: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=185707

Master Baiter Joined: 30 Jan 2010 Posts: 182

Hi all,
As a world renown supplier of exotic "Meat" i felt i maybe ought to contact this guy just to see what he has on offer, i am particularly interested in the supply of the "Lesser spotted, KAK bird, a new venture i am moving into shortly, the"Canned Parrot" business.
We tried a small pilot run of this product and it just flew off the shelves Laughing

Most people we surveyed said it tasted just like "KAK", an encouraging start, dont you think??
So Mr Bernis Kull, let's have a look at what you have???

Laughing

PG

PS Brainiac, the bull dog ladette has taken the huff cos i said i was dealing with "TONY" lol, but there maybe a bit more mileage in it yet Twisted Evil

Master Baiter Joined: 30 Jan 2010 Posts: 182

Well there's a surprise he e-mailed me back within a couple of hours,
Offering Friesian Horses no less, you know the one's, black and white with horn's, pull the "Udder one."
Any who, he is sending me a list of what he can get hold of.
My usual supplier lost two fingers wrestling a Tazmanian Devil (as ya do).
I also sent him an e-mail, accidentally of course, it was meant for my old fingerless supplier, just saying get well soon kinda stuff,and thank's for all the KAK he has sent me Twisted Evil

So lets see what Kak i get off this one.

PG Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:51 pm

Well, well, well, fancy meeting you all here!
I just realized that whilst Cold Justice and I are having this private party in the surplus letters section ( http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=186534 ) there's a fun group of "animal loving" baiters over here! Ganging up on the same lad!
I'm meeting up with Cold Justice here, any time now. We'll stay on this thread...

Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:56 pm

I think I will contact him as the owner of a glue factory who is looking to cut a long term supplier's contract.

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:41 am

I want a horse! jump_4_joy

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:41 am

This lad must think he's in heaven with all the attention he's been getting. I got the first reply within a day, he's been a little slower to reply this time. This is my response to his email.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Krull,

Thank you for your quick response. Please forgive me if mine is not always so quick, as I am almost always traveling and sometimes it's impossible to get a computer signal.

What Animal St@rz needs is a list of the animals you have ready to ship, in the standard format. A.S. has it's own forms of course, so if you like I can email you one of those to fill out. We will also need a copy from the Veterinarian you use, stating you are in good standing with him and that you have used him for shipping permits before. We will also need a copy of the quarantine regulations for your area and any areas you plan to ship from. Just the standard paperwork as you know, having been in the business so long. What a relief it will be to work with a professional for a change!

Oh dear, I almost forgot, we hit air turbulence, it is quite a bumpy ride! Due to some silly lawsuit with a pet rescue organization, Headquarters announced today that from now on our name is Animal Super St@rz. All a bunch of silly nonsense as it makes us have to change all our stationary and paperwork, putting the new name on. Well, that's business for you, I'm glad I'm out on assignment and not stuck in the office dealing with that issue.

One of the animals we will be needing in about 3 months is an adult tame male Crested African Porcupine. No older than 5 years. One of our favorite St@rz is April, a young female that I personally raised. Such a sweet little thing. Well, not so little now of course. We have been trying to find a suitable mate for her. The last idiot sent us a Crested that was a fine animal...except it was a female. I will be glad not to have to work with such fools again.

I must wrap this up, as we are about to land. Among other things I am picking up a rare Giant Tamandua. It's very exciting! Do hurry and get that list for us as soon as possible.

Blessed be,
LJ Greystr0ke
Procurer of International Animal Affairs
Animal Super St@rz, USA

Since he says he's been in the business for so long I will assume he knows the proper procedures. I will, of course be confused by his inability to understand what I need, and at first attribute it to a language problem. Later, the whip and chair comes out! Rowr! This first letter I kept to real animals, except for the over large Tamandua, which are the size of house cats in reality.

I thought he was probably taking time to look up "quarantine" but instead he has been busy playing with others. So I decided to not wait for his return email but to up the ante by mentioning money. I want him hopping, keeping all of us nice customers happy!

Quote:

Dear Mr. Krull,

Please get that detailed list of the animals you have on hand to me as soon as possible. The Giant Tamandua deal was a mess, it was just two toed sloth they had painted, as if I wouldn't know the difference! So having to fire and find another dealer and the home office NOT happy...it would be to both our advantages to be able to present them with a list of new animals, especially if you have some rare ones available. One of our clients always puts in a huge order in August, so it would be good if we have some animals ready for them. They always buy any really rare or exotic birds we can offer, along with a good assortment of unusual lizards and reptiles. As you know, many of the lizards breed quite happily in captivity, making us search a wider field to find something new and different to offer them.

We have an order for three pair of mated Fenr1ck Foxes, proven breeders. Will you be able to provide? A.S.S. will pay $20,000 per proven pair. They should be no more than two years old. Plus a supply of those little rodents they eat, I'm afraid with all the confusion the name escapes me, but you know what I mean. Two hundred rodents should do for this order, to be shipped with the foxes of course. Please let me know how much for the rodents.

Sorry this is dashed off in such a hurry, but I've had quite a time of it the last few days. I really need good reliable honest agents, once you are established as such, I'm sure Animal Super St@rz will put you on retainer, as we would be placing such large orders on a continual basis.

Yours in haste,
L.J. Greystr0ke

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:41 pm

This is good... the lad has set himself up really nicely for a dolla chop with yours truly. I got this from him at the weekend.

Quote:

Hello Thomas,

How far have you gone with the Leopards.I pray everything goes well.

I will like you to be my agent there in UK because some buyers are ready to get those Horses.I want you to get them from the port since we had to go through a lot with the DEFRA before they cuold agree with the importation.This will be a means to compensate you for the time spend.
I will be compensated with 15 % of the general sales of them.
All you need to do is to get them from the port,using the aproved DEFRA FORMS.
The buyers will have to pay the total money for the horses to you and you will pay the remaining 85% into my account after you most have delivered the horses to the buyers address.

If that is ok by you,please get back to me as soon as possible.

Hope to hear from you soon

Good old Bernie... he really does walk into these Laughing

This is what I sent him back

Quote:

Hello Bernis

Things are going well with the leopards. I'm in South Africa now and have seen them both and got a good price. I'm staying here to watch the Germany-Spain game and then I'll be heading back to the UK with the leopards so I can personally clear them through immigration and quarantine.

I'd be quite happy to help you clear the horses at the airport and can arrange for onward transportation to their destinations in the UK.

I can also collect payment in the UK from your UK buyers and send it to you, that's not a problem. The account your clients need to use is:

Kind regards

Tom

I masked the bank details in case he googles them as he's a bit of a search engine field is our lad. The details are of course completely bogus. If you want to let me know you've told the lad you've paid me the email is

Do be sure to send you all your money, valuables, trunkboxes, etc and I really do promise that you'll get your ponies pony

The DEFRA forms he's on about are some that I made up which I'll make available for you to send to him as soon as I'm back on my other computer. However if you're asking him for something more exotic then Bernie will need to have a CITES exemption form all filled in and you can get that from here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/2321729/Cites-a55-Vv-Ip3

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:54 pm

I asked for a white elephant Very Happy

Quote:

Note that if he has to get the Elephant,it is going to be brown or black not white as i have had words with him on phone.

I complained of course.

Quote:

I have reach somebody in the North on phone that has a White Elephant and a white Leopard

Quote:

Remember what he said,others are also interested in the animal since is very unique.

Quote:

Rmember as this business has to be very private,because the more ears that hears this,the more people will look for means to get the white Elephantsince is very very precious,i tell you he can even double the prices.

See, everyone wants one Laughing

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:51 pm

Room for one more?? Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:55 pm

^^ Sure but don't steal my elephant Laughing

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:03 pm

^^^I live in a one-bed room apartment. I don't think my landlord would let me have an elephant Smile

And I've heard that white elephants require a special diet. I wonder if Bernie can keep you supplied with tons of the stuff each and every week

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:16 pm

This is the form that our lad has been de-educated to believe is a necessity for importing horses into the European Union.

Please use freely for extra lad torment: http://members.419eater.com/~sunshine/Form10273EqRb2GB2.pdf

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:35 pm

Please, no one tell him animals don't use passports. Since he says he makes them (I'm sure he does! Slip of the truth there) I want to see one. Also, it's standard for a photo to be taken with the anima,l with him holding a sign of your choice if you are a major dealer. Or so I will inform him.

Since he travels all over Africa (by his own words) I think a safari would be appropriate. Maybe a couple of us could have pick ups in the same general direction?Anyone know where he's really at?

L.J. (Lady Jayne) always stays at her dear friends, Simb@ Safaris for a bit of luxury in her otherwise hectic life.

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:04 pm

Mike is still waiting to hear more details about the G@rgantuan Yorkie that is available.

Just now I decided to be a second customer...

Quote:

Hi Mr. Skull,
May I call you Berni?
My names are Sally H1thead and my neighbours' daughter-in-law is a cousin of an old friend who's the brother of a fellow that works with my aunties best customer at her pumpk1ns and blumpk1ns farm and delicatessen. His name is Samuel but she calls him Sam or Sammy or sometimes she teases him and calls him Sammy Davis Junior or the Samminater or Sammwitch!!! My auntie is a real big jokester! Her name is Sally too! I was named after her, but enough about me...
Sam mentioned that you are a big deal animal exporter? I run a small, intimate, pre-school daycare and petting zoo. We just lost one of our animals. It's been two weeks since Sphincter went missing. The children are terribly upset. I'm sure that you understand, seen as you work with animals and all. I have pretty much given up hope that we will ever see Sphincter again, so I'm looking to replace her. Would you be able to shit me a female 3 year old Polar bear? I have a budget of roughly $50,000 (Fifty thousand United States Dollars) which would of course include shitting. Also, I would expect you to use the first-class facilities of whatever overnight shitting company that you normally use, for the evacuation.
Please get back to me as soon as possible. The children have been told that Sphincter is away for a holiday, visiting relatives but they know that that's not true. I need to get a new bear here real quick. Can we do business?

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:19 pm

I'm in. See if he sells animals for the ahem "movie" industry.

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:16 pm

@coldjustice Actually horses do have passports, my two horses have them but unlike the human passports with horse photos the lad will provide a real horse passport gives a visual description of identifying marks (snips, stars, whorls etc) and a record of inoculations - the idea being to prevent horses inoculated or treated with anything harmful to humans entering the food chain.

(Both mine are marked in their passports as not for human consumption)

@Napoleon... funny you should say that, that's just what I was originally after the animals for and made clear to the lad that was why I was buying his animals ... as well as some exotic pets as fancy "pleasure companions" for high ranking politicians and celebrities.... I'm convinced our lad thinks that this sort of thing is 100% normal over here in the decadent west Smile

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:32 pm

I told him I'm still debating on what I want, and that myself and my associates have a list of rare exotic animals we are looking to acquire. And are willing to pay top dollar.

It will be something of lions, tigers, and bears.

Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:35 pm

dwatina wrote:

It will be something of lions, tigers, and bears.

Oh My !

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