Medical Questions

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Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

Hi Guys, Lots of lads seem to need operations etc. etc. I'm a medical doctor and can answer any questions you have. If you need information or medical advice to screw these scammers just email me at [email protected]. Just say who you are and I'll email back from my own address. Khawk

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:01 pm

Thanks khawk Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Posts: 200 Location: UK

This actually raises an interesting point. There must be 100s if not 1000s of users on here who have a particular skill (apart from baiting lads) which might be useful in a bait. Is there any sort of list where people would be happy to be pm'd for knowledge? I am not talking about educating the lads, I am talking about de-educating them since if you know something about a particular topic, you can guage how "wrong" to get it.

I'm qualified in UK law with a particular interest in inheritance, tax and trusts (although in my murky past I also did crime) and would be happy to be pm'd for general procedural stuff (NOT legal advice!!).

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:20 pm

Just don't use specialist knowledge to educate the scammers, so they modify their script to be more believable.

Besides, if they will believe any old bollocks, they can be persuaded to send out scripts that more people will laugh at, rather than fall for.

Best to congratulate them any any mistakes they make, rather than put them right.

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

You're right. We all have skills and we should pool them. Some of the baits do get complicated. I think there should be a list of people available for advice on various areas. Khawk

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

Yes, Roy, you are also right. But, I didn't say to correct them. just for us to know what we are talking about. I'd be more than happy to give information to any other baiter on medical questions. I trust the baiters on here not to give that knowledge to the scamers. I assume that Cathy will do the same with her knowledge on UK law. I hope that others will also pool thier knowledge.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:26 pm

You do realize that you've just asked for hundreds of mails along the lines of "my child/hubby/grandma/poodle has this weird ulcerous rash on his/her/its butt, can you diagnose it from the attached picture real quick", do you. Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

thanks bankster. that's a good point. But, no real doctor would ever diagnose something from a picture over the internet. It would be grounds for malpractice if I did. However, if there was no actual patient involved and just a thoeretical case, I could easily give an opinion.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:35 pm

^^ I know, but when has that ever stopped people from asking. Wink

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:41 pm

For years now, I've been asking lad doctors (who all seem to work in banks???) if they have found a cure for terminal grumbleweeds yet?

No joy. Sad

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

Ok , bankster, but anyone who asks for an opinion from a guy on the internet is totally crazy! You should never really get any medical information from the internet. I deal with people all day who have read this or that crazy story on the internet. I always tell them never to believe anything they read on the internet. As WE ALL KNOW VERY WELL. So, Why belive my advice? Well, I'm offering it to other baiters for free. It isn't about real patients, just knowledge of diseases. I'm not asking for money for it, just the satisfaction that I did my part to screw scammers. lastly , I am a medical doctor, not like almost 99.99999% of people on the internet who claim to. If you really don't believe that I am them I will enter into a dialogue with you and after I am 100% dure that you are a genuine baiter, I will send my credentials to you. And, bankster, you are very correct. Never believe most of what you hear or see on the internet about medical information!!! Most of it is like a 419 letter!!!

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:03 pm

Although it is a generous offer and one I will keep in mind, thanks, I have found that Lads are not experts and therefore you can spin them any old yarn and they believe it.

My excuse, without fail, for not being able to give out telephone contact details is that I have a brain tumour which causes severe pain if I hold electronic devices near my head. This has never been questioned and no lad has ever insisted on a telephone number after I tell them this.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:09 pm

@Khawk: I'm not so sure about that...I can imagine people with problems in certain embarrassing areas rather consulting someone anonymously (e.g. over the internet) than go to a doctor they'll also have to consult for their persistant and annoying cough.

I know doctors will have seen everything and people don't need to be embarrassed in front of their doctor, but they're still human so they probably will.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

^^I seem to remember that Yahoo Answers has a health section, where people routinely ask all manner of health questions. I swear that someday someone is going to run into serious trouble because some random person gave them some dodgy advice.

Perhaps you could tell us this: One thing that a few lads do is email you claiming to have a few weeks left before dying of eosophigal cancer (no idea why they choose that one, but its one of the more common ones), but then seem to go on for months without actually dying. I understand its 5-year survival rate is generally quite low, but just how likely is that sort of scenario?

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 100

Thanks for the Oesophageal question. Ok Oesophageal cancer - First, ask him what the histological diagonosis is: It should be either an adenocarcinoma or a squamous carcinome. Any patient with oesophageal cancer should know the type. (Small cell type is a very rare type). The 5 year survival question is excellent. This is the standard for all types of cancer. For example prostate cancer has a 99% five year survival. that means that on the day on diagnosis, 99% of patients will be alive in exactly 5 years. That's in the 1st world. Numbers in Africa are much lower. In the region of 50% - 2 year survival. Now oesophageal cancer has an approximate 5% five year survival. This is why lads pick it as their cancer of choice. There is some hope but very little. Depending on how advanced the cancer is and the type the cancer survival can vary widely. 2% to 80%. So anything the lad says is probably possible true. I have seen the lads claim pancreatic cancer. The average survival of this is 2 to 8 months. if a lad has this, then they are virtually screwed. If you have any further questions then email me back. Khawk

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Apr 2010 Posts: 160

I'm quite skilled with computers particular, and network technologies or large computer systems (Unix / Linux) in general.

It may be bad form to educate lads, but hey, the fact you're skilled at something also means you can effectively de-educate lads especially if you throw in technically correct, but useless terms.

Like saying "I cannot call you at this time. My VOIP software requires a kernel update to 2.6.18-PAE but since I am low on space in /var/log I cannot do an update yet Sad

you have to wait till this issue is resolved" or something along those lines.

While I'm typing this I'm thinking a lad may use this to confuse real victims too.. hmm.. then again, anything you say that will make a lad believe he's taken seriously will be used in future baits anyway.. ouch. On the other hand, real victims may get out in time when they're baffled with tech-talk.. Smile

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:03 pm

@ COD, It could be something as simple as cancer of the oesophagus coming up near the top if you do a google search on the subject.

The trouble with throwing genuine knowledge of medicine or anything else at lads, is it corners them and they are very likely to just drop you rather than come up with an answer that involves any work.

Better to say you had a friend that had exactly the same thing and go through all sorts of weird and wonderful symptoms and treatments they had to endure.

And anyway. It's a proven fact that lad technology and medicine as far superiour to anything we have. Most make complete recoveries after three months and have even been known to come back from the dead on more than one occasion.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:03 pm

Feel free to PM me with any questions on these areas if you can use it for a bait.

- Danish law (I am a graduate law student and have a BLL), especially copyright, trademarks, criminal law and procedural law. But I also know family and inheritance law.
- Heraldry (it is one of my more nerdish interests). Lads often use heraldry in really ridiculous ways (like using the British coat of arms on an "official document" of the republic of Ghana)
- Danish politics
- Photoshop. If you need something forged please let me have a go at it.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 20

but whatever sort of cancer - the dying people can still write long long scripts...? from a hospital bed...? with their own laptop, or pc, which hospitals in europe give dying cancer patients that kind of facilities!!!

i can find through internet, the most obscure and one out of half a million diseases. yet, the lads always come with cancer. survival in the first world nowadays, quite good - but not in africa. am truly surprised they do not more often mention HIV, the real 'killer disease' in that continent.

the fact that quite a lot of these are signed with 'dr.' so and so...?

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:30 am

khawk wrote:

Thanks for the Oesophageal question. Ok Oesophageal cancer - First, ask him what the histological diagonosis is: It should be either an adenocarcinoma or a squamous carcinome. Any patient with oesophageal cancer should know the type. (Small cell type is a very rare type).

@khawk,
I read to this point, then I got bored. I have (presumable) a longer attention span than a lad does. They don't want to get into a medical discussion, they want your money.

As said above, the lad will just twig on you. They know they don't have the medical condition and they don't want empathy or treatment, they want the MTCN.

There is WebMD for medical questions too. We don't usually get into Discussions about survival rates. They are made up characters and made up medical problems that often "defile" treatment.

Quote:

There is some hope but very little. Depending on how advanced the cancer is and the type the cancer survival can vary widely. 2% to 80%. So anything the lad says is probably possible true. No, they are lads and they lie I have seen the lads claim pancreatic cancer. The average survival of this is 2 to 8 months. if a lad has this, then they are virtually screwed. They only want the MTCN. They don't scam to get treatment. They are scammers and criminals, they are not cancer patients.

Quote:

If you have any further questions then email me back. Khawk

I am glad that we have a medical person on Eater because I have this strange growth...

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 11:56 am

After reading through this thread I now have a borderline migraine.

No need to panic that I'll be asking for medical advice Khawk as I have two good remedies on hand for migraines Smile

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Nov 2009 Posts: 46

While I appreciate this is not a skill or talent in anyway shape or form but might help someone somewhere!

Some people who don't know better say I'm a wiccan (I'm not but I am a pagan). I do have knowledge of wicca which has proved helpful in some of my baits by scaring the crap out of my lad with some weird sounding spell speak.

If you need anything like that for a bait, let me know. Don Gunshot hated it! Seemed to really freak him out!

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:29 pm

Popiejopie wrote:

I'm quite skilled with computers particular, and network technologies or large computer systems (Unix / Linux) in general.

Hey me too, PM me we can have a techie chat Smile

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Jun 2010 Posts: 42

I am fluent in Russian (I can decipher vladspeak) and French, and can also do some Photoshop and programming.

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 2:25 pm

Is it true that tatoos are a miracle cure for lad-cancers ?