Hear the words of Bob Mueller

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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:28 pm

Captain Mal has been arguing with two different Bob Muellers (head of FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.) a lot recently.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN TALKING TO ME BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU DONT HAVE A GOOD MANNER OF SPEECH YOU JUST TALK TO PEOPLE ANYWAY YOU WANT AND YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL WITH ME.

Quote:

WARNING: Failure to produce the above requirement in the next 48 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you, justificated and if found guilty, you will be jailed. As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM YOU ARE CRAZY FOR TELLING ME AM I OKAY,YOU HAVE TO BE NUTS TO TELL ME THAT,IF YOU DONT SEND THE FEE BEFORE WEDNESDAY MY AGENT IS LEAVING NIGERIA BY TOMORROW AND THEN I WILL NOT CONTACT YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU ARE SOMEHOW NUTS IN THE BRAIN FOR TELLING ME AM I OKAY.

Quote:

As a fellow American, we have no need to witch hunt ourselves and at the same time, we will not live to allow a repeat performance of the experience of September 11,2001 in America. Whoever is in anyway found to be doing anything likely to jeopardize the interest of America will not live to tell the story.
All the security organizations have been briefed of your identity for their records. You cannot easily escape from the long arms of the law when the chips are down.
We will accept any proof of your non involvement in these alleged criminal activities. Those who peaceful negotiation impossible, help to make violent settlement the only option. Do not allow yourself to deceived through wrong advice. It is only you that will bear the brunt of your mistake.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM I WANT YOU TO RESPECT YOURSELF AND NEVER MAIL ME TELLING ME AM I CRAZY ANYMORE OR ELSE I WILL STOP FURTHER INVESTIGATION ON YOUR TRANSACTION AND WILL STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATIONS WITH YOU.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM WARNED YOU ABOUT TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE BUT YOU FAILED TO HEED TO MY ADVISE,A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IS IT BECAUSE I ASKED M AGENT TO GO DOWN THERE AND INVESTIGATE THIS ISSUE AND YOU TELL ME TO DONT YOU SAY AND I SHOULD NOT ARGUE THEN YOU MUST BE DAMN STUPID FOR SAYING SUCH A WORD TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER DISRESPECT YOU IN ANYWAY.
I AM QUITTING MY INVOLVEMENT IN THIS TRANSACTION FROM NOW AND I WILL BE WITHDRAWING MY AGENT IN NIGERIA IMMEDIATELY.YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT IF YOU FAIL TO GET YOUR FUND THEN YOU WILL KNOW YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF AND ALSO YOU CAN INFORM YOUR CONGRESSMAN OR WHATEVER.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM YES PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SCAMMING USING MY NAME AND ALSO BLACKMAILING MY NAME SO THAT IS WHY I WANT YOU TO BE VERY CAREFUL AND YOU ARE NOT PAYING ANY DIST FEE EXCEPT FROM $920 SO SHOULD I BE EXPECTING THE PAYMENT INFORMATION TOMORROW MORNING?
IF YOU DONT STOP TALKING TO THEM THEY WILL SCAM YOU.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM NO INVOICE CAN BE ISSUED WHEN YOU HAVENT MADE ANY PAYMENT.

Quote:

MR MALCOLM YOU ARE CRAZY FOR TELLING ME AM I OKAY,YOU HAVE TO BE NUTS TO TELL ME THAT,IF YOU DONT SEND THE FEE BEFORE WEDNESDAY MY AGENT IS LEAVING NIGERIA BY TOMORROW AND THEN I WILL NOT CONTACT YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU ARE SOMEHOW NUTS IN THE BRAIN FOR TELLING ME AM I OKAY.

Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:41 pm

Yastreb you missed one Smile

The Psychologist (Neuroticus tohellicum): Lad who makes comments about our sanity.

Not much of a Carl Jung this lad .. try saying these in a German psychiatrist accent .. Smile

Quote:

MR MALCOLM YOU ARE CRAZY

Quote:

YOU MUST BE DAMN STUPID

Quote:

BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU ARE SOMEHOW NUTS IN THE BRAIN

Quote:

I DO NOT HAVE ANY ATOM OF BELIEF IN YOU SINCE YOU BEHAVE LIKE SOMEBODY WHO IS IN SANE

Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 2:23 pm

Plenty of siggy material jump_4_joy

Nice

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 1:53 am

Quote:

escape from the long arms of the law when the chips are down.

Sounds like an old western movie. Ha! Thank you for the laffs, and I agree, excellent siggy material! clapping

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 2:37 am

YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF.

clapping

Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:37 am

I love it! I need to find me a lad who types in all caps.

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:14 pm

Bob Mueller doesn't like how Mal asked for an invoice before sending WU money:

Quote:

TELL ME THE NAME OF THE AGENT AND THE AGENT ID,HAVE IT SENT TO ME SOONEST BECAUSE NO INVOICE IS NEEDED IN SENDING MONEY AND I HAVE CONTACTED WESTERN UNION CUSTOMER SERVICE AND THEY HAVE REQUESTED FOR THE AGENT NAME AND AGENT ID SO THEY CAN KNOW WHICH INCOMPETENCE AGENT IS ASKING FOR INVOICE FOR SENDING MONEY.
I AWAIT THE AGENT NAME AND ID FROM YOU SOONEST.

Mal wasn't in the mood to comply:

Quote:

Tell Western Union they can gorram well write me. You ain't their frakking messenger boy.

Bob Mueller didn't like that at all (emphasis added):

Quote:

YOU MUST BE GORRAM NUT FOR YOU TO TELL ME THAT.
I AWAIT THE AGENT NAME AND ID FROM YOU SOONEST.

He won't like this:

Quote:

Do your own frakking legwork.

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:29 pm

"justificated" Confused

I guess he meant to say "adjudicated".

Quote:

IT SEEMS YOU ARE SOMEHOW NUTS IN THE BRAIN

Now THAT is a great siggy line. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:36 pm

There's more - after Mal accused Bob of being a fake when passports got into the discussion:

Quote:

I THINK YOU ARE NUT FOR TELLING ME AM NOT THE REAL FED,I WANT YOU NOT TO MAIL ME ANYMORE MY AGENT IS ALREADY ON BOARD AND WILL BE LEAVING IN THE NEXT 45MINS.

Mal snapped back:

Quote:

You're a gorram imposter, and that means all the rest of you are.

Bob was aghast:

Quote:

THANKS YOU DONT KNOW REAL THINGS AND YOU ALWAYS GO FOR THE BAD THINGS,I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE A FOOL AND THE BEST IDIOT HAVE EVER TALKED TO,STOP TALKING TO ME FOOL.

Mal wasn't impressed:

Quote:

So prove to me that you're a genuine Fed - the Head Fed. What have you got?

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:35 pm

Quote:

I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE A FOOL AND THE BEST IDIOT HAVE EVER TALKED TO..

Love that. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:11 pm

Now hearken to the ID of Bob Mueller:

It arrived with this statesmanlike message:

Quote:

HAVE A LOOK AT MY ID THEN FUCK OFF AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I KNOW THE DOCUMENT HAVE BEEN SENT TO YOU TO CANCEL THE TRANSFER.

I couldn't resist a taunt:

Quote:

It looks like something I cut out the back of a Cheerios packet when I was a kid.

His response?

Quote:

LOOKING AT YOU I KNOW YOU ARE A FOOL BECAUSE WHAT YOU CANT DO THEN YOU ARE SAYING IT MAYBE THATS WHY YOU ARE DUMPED IN A LOCAL AREA THERE IN AUSTRALIA,HAVE YOU SIGNED THE FUND CANCEL DOCUMENT? FOOL.

So I taunted again:

Quote:

You sound like the whiny little wuss I smacked in the mouth after he found me kissing his sister. She couldn't stand him either.

Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 5:52 pm

*chortle* is that really the ID the lad sent ..
I wonder if these lads really think there is a such a thing as a 'licence to kill' (it's not as if Americans need an excuse to do so anyways)
...
*bond theme starts up* .. got a licence to kill, And you know I'm going straight for your heart ...

The 007 (Bondus tohellicum): Desperate FIB scammer lad who thinks F.B.I agents have a licence to kill, and have it printed on their ID to remind them, just in case they forget, or get into a game of 'top trumps' with other F.B.I agents .. licence .. TO KILL .. mine thank you.

http://www.toptrumps.com/usa_howto.asp

Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:03 pm

Licensed to kill?
Does that ID really say Licensed to kill?

I thought the Iraqi lottery scam was bad enough for a lazy Saturday afternoon but this an entirely different level of scamming.

I see wowwow ninja´d me.
More vodka.

Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:10 pm

Sorry psychicbait, I hope you are not too 'ninja'd' Wink

Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:16 pm

Give me 1/2 an hour.

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:57 am

He's given up.

Quote:

DONT BOTHER TO MAIL ME FOREVER.

O RLY?

Quote:

Fine - just stop replying, bonehead!

All of a sudden he forgets the CAP LOCK.

Quote:

You are mad,idiot,bull shit crap

Weak one, mugu, so...

Quote:

And you're a dip-dunk can't-c*nt no-load weenie needle-dick.
Retired Marine my aching backside - you ain't worth a Marine's dandruff.

Bye, Bob...

Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:12 pm

Lol, Yastreb, spank him one more time

The Going Going Gone (Byeus tohellicum): Lad who keeps saying he's going but keeps coming back for one last insult.

Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 7:24 am

What was wrong with that ID? Very Happy

I've checked it out and you are dealing with the real RM3.
You need to make your apologies before an agent finishes you. Wink

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