M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:31 am

Both numbers we have (UK!) are not available right now. Maybe it´s night in Essex....
"Orange" would have allowed us to leave a message.
You can tell that to him Smile

as an agent he must never turn his phone off!

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:15 am

Ha! This lad just won't let go. Another email from Martins Cool.

Lad wrote:

jack i dont understand what you mean i did,nt insult your workers ask her very well i told that she should not disturb me again that what,s okay

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

You say that all you did was tell Camille not to disturb you. That doesn't sound bad at all, but you must have done it in a way that was insulting and abusive to her because she was in a very upset and distraught state when she came in to see me. She's usually such a strong person but she broke down and started crying in my office, which is something I've never seen her do. Maybe you should think about your emails before sending them out, look through them and make sure you remove all the insults. That would be my advice to you.

How are you getting on with collecting the receipts for your models' expenses? I hope you can send them to me soon.

looking forward to the receipts,
Jack

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:08 am

What hurt Cammy was that he didn't say anything about how great she looks. She's so vain, you see.

She's ready for more work though!

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:07 pm

This seems all too much stress for Martins Cool. He´s fallen back into schoolboy mode again.

Quote:

Hello Randall i dont think i have chance with this anymore bye

Not that I would not reply, thanking him for his wonderful application Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:52 pm

C4rema Baby gets a long reply from Jack, addressing the points his last email raised.

Jack wrote:

Dear Sir,

I was very pleased to read your latest email. It sounds as if you are looking forward to working for M00seknuckle Modeling, and I can tell from the tone of your emails that you will probably have a lot to contribute to our future success.

I'll address the concerns that you raise in your email.

You will not be required to come to the USA to work for the company. We may invite you over, and you are free to come over whenever you want and visit our main office. But as I said in previous emails, we operate on an international level but with focus on local people. That is, we might be based in the USA but most of our actual business takes place in the areas of the world where we find the non-traditional White Western Woman beauty. Wherever there is beauty in the human form, we want to be there and using those wonderful people, showing the world that there is so much wonder and diversity throughout the entire planet.

What this means is that you work in the area where you live. Or choose to move to. We have found that if an agent knows the local area very well (it's where they live, were raised as children, and so on) then they know exactly where to find the right people to appear in our photography jobs. You knowledge of your part of the world is why we want to recruit you. Otherwise, we'd just send some of our own guys over there and it would be easier and cheaper. But that isn't what we want. We don't care about saving money if it means we miss out on finding the real human beauty. That's where you come in, someone with knowledge of the people around you. Do you see now?

And the same applies for the models you recruit. They won't be needed to come here, to Chicago. Well, they can come if they want to! But that's not a requirement. The arrangements will be that if we pick some of your models for a photography job, we will send our own photography team to a large town or city near to your location, and ask you to tell the models about where to meet, what to bring, what the job will involve, and so on. We always arrange it so that models rarely have to travel more than 50 miles from their home to a job. But, if they have to go further, we will almost always pay for travel costs and hotel expenses.

As for your own reward... that depends on what role you decide to take. If you are an agent manager, we operate on a commission basis. You will receive a fixed rate for each of your models that we pick for a job, and on top of that fixed rate, there will be a percentage added that depends on how much we (M00seknuckle Modeling) are being paid for the whole job by the company asking us to do the photographs. I hope that doesn't sound too complicated. The first job you do, you'll see how easy it actually is in practice. I think it just sounds complicated when put into words.
Also, of course, any expenses (travel, accommodation, etc) that you have to pay while in the process of your duties will be paid back to you when you submit the receipts, bills, etc, for those expenses.

If you choose to be something higher than an agent manager (and I really think you can be this, based on your emails so far), then you will be paid a fixed quarterly salary. That is, we negotiate a yearly amount that you will receive, and this will be sent to you every three months. On top of that, there will be bonuses for completing your tasks ahead of schedule or if we see that you have put a lot of effort into something we've asked you to do. Naturally, just as with being an agent manager, you will get your expenses (travel, accommodation, and so on) paid back to you when you submit the appropriate receipts.

I hope that's clear and answers your concerns. If not, then ask for more clarification on any point and I will try my best to answer you.

As for a cellphone number... I am in the process of changing my providers so I'm currently without a cellphone (I didn't realize how much I rely on it until I was without it!). But I expect things will be sorted in a few days, and as soon as I get the new number, I'll let you know and we can talk for real.

Have you started on the application form? We really do need that form filed in our records before we can start your employment properly so I urge you to complete and return it as soon as you can.

best,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Ok, now it all cleared to me, concerning the form i have started fill out, but before i can proceed with any thing privately, i will need a phone number and a proof website, so that i can speak with somebody and get more proof, well sorry for the inconvenience if this sound bad to you. I just need some proof

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:24 pm

Another one who is stubborn but eloquently and off-script-stubborn from reply number one on:

Quote:

<[email protected]>

Randall,

Thanks for your mail and your offer is quit good but i don't think i
can do that. I have more important thing to do than your offer, as it
is not possible to leave deal that value in millions to take offer in
lin thousands.

You can give the offer to your other relation that needed most.

Thank you.
Abr4ham S4udi.

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:59 pm

Lad to Jack wrote:

i will need a phone number and a proof website, so that i can speak with somebody and get more proof

Now aren't you glad he asks.. Very Happy

@OF: Jack and Lad swapped colors.

@FBB: Why does he think that working for you will get in the way of his other business. That other business shouldn't eat much into his time. Probably just some documents, some remittance fees, some more fees, even more fees, ... mmm..

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:08 pm

Bolleboos wrote:

@OF: Jack and Lad swapped colors.

I know. I find the red-on-white text is difficult if there's a lot of stuff to read, so maybe others do, too. Since Jack's reply was monster-sized, I put the lad in red for this time.

Forgive me?

Frumpy: Is it time for Jack to step in and put on the charm with Mr Saudi?

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:50 pm

Sure, you or SlapHappy, whoever wishes to convince Mr. Saudi that modelling is more worth than just a few millions, charm on.
Bolleboos, you´ve hit the nail on the head Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:04 pm

Here's Jack's first attempt at pulling Mr Saudi towards the dark side.

Jack wrote:

Dear Mr Abr4ham S4udi,

Your email address has been passed to me by Randa11 Oldman because he has been communicating with you over the past few days and he thinks that you would be a perfect employee for our company.

I've looked through the emails so far and I must agree with Randall that you do have a lot of potential to be exactly the sort of person that would be a great asset to the company, while also enjoying all of the challenges and rewards that we can offer you in return.

The last email I have from you appears to be very negative towards the idea that you might be applying for a position with M00seknuckle Modeling. This is very disappointing, Mr Saudi, because I really hate to see someone with so much potential slip past us.

I'll come clean with you, though: I won't beg. If you choose to let this opportunity get away from you, then that is your choice and I will respect it, but I do urge you to have a further think about what you are being offered here. I can see a great future for you personally if you were to join our company, and I have to admit that I am looking forward to the things that you can bring to this company.

I have attached a short PDF brochure to this email for you to see more about the company, and I hope that you take the time to look through it and take another look at your situation and what is being offered to you.

hoping to hear from you soon,
Jack Smeh0fik

Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:28 pm

Looks like David 0koye is back.

Jack wrote this to him yesterday...

Jack wrote:

Dear Dr David 0koye,

I have been going through the records here at M00seknuckle Modeling and I notice that you were once going through our application process, having submitted an application form and negotiating your terms and conditions with Randa11 Oldman. But it appears that these negotiations ended abruptly when Mr Oldman was unable to contact you, despite several attempts.

I looked at your application form and the correspondence that you wrote, and I was very impressed by everything I saw. As a result, I am very disappointed that you never did complete the enrollment with us and become an employee of our company.

Therefore, I am writing to ask if you are still interested and if you would like to recommence negotations with us. I do shope so because I saw immense potential in your messages and application form.

Please let me know if you are still interested.

best regards,
Jack Smeh0fik

And today he replies...

Lad wrote:

Dear jack,

Thanks for your well observed notification towards my hardworked
formality to have enrolled and worked with you as an agent which
turned out sour at last sometime last year.

I am ever pleased to having you adjudge and worked along within your
organisation in as much as it's proof pontentials are real.

I had a staff of mine lucked off in a car crash when it dawn on us to
be at Calabar when Mr.Randa11 Oldman and crew were there.Then they
didn't care after such an incident. Then we are back to form and ready
to good adventures

I will appreciate having words with younon phoen as soon as accessed
this updates as that will energise much deeper this called back offer
and healthy relationship.

Dr.David 0koye.

234-70-xxx85xxx

Anyone want to call him?

Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:30 pm

I knew that you and the Dr. David Oooo were made for each other Very Happy

Calling him? He is soo boooring, ask SH and JustJane. I do not think he has any podcast appeal. He is more fun in writing. Surely he uses some kind of mugu English to executive English translator...

EDIT In this time and era, MM will employ almost anyone:

Quote:

usman dido <[email protected]>

am interested in the business

EDIT and another one. She replies R O within minutes right now:

Quote:

From: [email protected]
IP: 196.207.194.161
Subject: Thanks for your care
: 1.0

My dearest Beloved,
I would have loved to represent you here in Senegal but the problem is that i am like a prisoner because we are not being allowed to leave the refugee camp therefore i am begging you to help me to transfer this money to your country so that i can be free from this refugee camp.
Please my dear i want you to send your data to me so that i can nominate you at the bank and plead with them to transfer the money to your country.
I hope to hear from you with your data.
Yours in need,
Faith.

Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:05 pm

^^^ More fresh blood? Niiiiiiice!

And, talking of such, it looks like Martins Cool has finally been worn down...

Lad wrote:

Good Morning Jack Smeh0fik
Thanks I was so sorry for what i wrote to white cammille am very sorry and i understand al what you mean and am going to send the reciept to you soon okay know you are giving me over confindence to join your company thanks and i was so appreciate of you

waiting to hear from you
Regard
Martins

The power of never-letting-the-lad-get-the-last-word-in!

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

That's okay, you don't really have to apologize to me. But I think a short note to Cammy explaining how sorry you feel for your last email to her, that might be a nice gesture and make her feel better about herself.

I will wait eagerly for your receipts. I'm glad you've decided to submit them. I didn't like the thought of you having to pay all of that expense yourself.

best,
Jack

Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:22 pm

Just hang on a minute there - Coolio didn't fill out the form properly and he still needs the medical clearance.

Cammy will not be denied!

Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:38 pm

Yastreb wrote:

Coolio didn't fill out the form properly

Well.... maybe he can be forgiven a little bit? He has come back, after all, despite his claims a week ago that he was definitely not interested.
I want to see the receipts he's going to get for Jack before he starts being messed about too much.

In other news, 0koye sent the same message as his last one yesterday with the subject "Still waiting!!!." Give Jack a chance, Dr O! He's a busy man.

Jack replies...

Jack wrote:

Dear David 0koye,

My apologies for not replying sooner.

The situation here is that we are very busy moving offices here and also, to be honest, I hadn't really expected you to reply so quickly. It's good that you did, but your enthusiasm caught me off guard and so I was not checking my emails for your reply. Again, I apologize.

As I mention, we are currently moving our offices here, and as a result we are changing our telephone providers. As soon as I have a permanent number for you to call, I will do. We have been promised that the telephone system will be in place early next week.

How are you and the rest of your people? I hope all is well, and from your reply (and the swiftness in which it came back) sounds as if you are very eager to resume your career with us. I'm very pleased about that because I had received so many report of praise about you from Randa11 Oldman and everyone else who had contact with you.

best regards,
Jack

Within a few hours, Dr O is on the case again!
But it appears he had a big plate of officialese for lunch...

Lad wrote:

Mr.jack Smeh0fik,

I will appreciate working with you with authenetic proof evidence as
we enjoy showcasing our quality capacity utilisation.

That oral phone contact will actively instill course order to your
immediate form of contact reference to us.

we are pleased to having you back again believing this time, it will
be for the best of this great opportunity.

My sincere regards.

Dr.David 0koye.

I think that translates as "PHONE ME NOW OK."

Jack wrote:

Dear David 0koye,

I can appreciate your caution and the need for something to convince you of our genuineness.

I would have hoped the fact that we are still here and we are still eager in recruiting you for our company would be enough to convince you that we are not merely some flash-in-the-pan trick company whose only intention is to make quick money. There are too many of those sorts on the internet, as I've discovered for myself, but M00seknuckle Modeling is not one of them.

However, I can understand your caution, and I am taking it as a further sign that you are a good man to be employed with our company. Someone who thinks as carefully and isn't as easily duped as you is someone we would be crazy not to recruit.

looking forward to hearing from you,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Mr.james Smeh0fik,

I had detailed my entire staffs about your returned interest hold up
to this Organisation. We are eager to having you expedite actions and
reactions with proof originality/authentification of your desired
requirements from us too.

Human expeditions/endeavours worths daily streaks calls hence we are
in built to making sure the past delayed effects are avoided for the
best of this present healthy working relationship.

Still expecting to your phone call up as been sought for as that will
enhance indepth deep cause root accord/understanding.

Prompt response.

Dr.David 0koye.

What in the name of all that's not Nutrasweet is this lad doing with the English language?!?!?!?
And it appears that I've changed my name. "James", huh?

Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:57 pm

After a short downtime with emailing here, it is back to normal procedure for me Very Happy

This refugee girl is off-script at email 2 already, after the "Reverend, call him"-script Miss Felicia´s final paragraph reads:

Quote:

Offcource , I would so much be happy to be your modeling agent here but before any one can accept to be part of this organisation with me here they would like to see a good difference in me from my old situation , Isn't ? That is true . So like you have just said , if you are truly with me then you should send me the 7000$ in order for me to start mobilizing and campaigning for you here in getting suitable and able -bodied youths beautiful and elegant for you.

I hope that my humble request is considered and i am looking to having a positive answer in order to working with you efficiently .

Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:34 pm

Martins Cool continues his descent into compliance...

Lad wrote:

SUBJECT: Am Very Sorry

Hello Jack am going to do what you ask for sorry for delay nice to hear good news from you

He took a while to complete the form but he did finally do it, so I'm feeling confident the receipts for the models' expenses will come in.

Eventually.

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

Thank you for the update on your progress.

Have you written to Cammy yet? She's dealing with your application form so I think a short note to say sorry about your upsetting email might make her feel better about processing your form. We don't respond well to bribes at MM, but paying compliments and making people feel good about what they're doing will always work wonders.

regards,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Thanks Jack you ar my really understand and sure men i love imprese in you are was so glad for what you said about camille that you have talk to her my regard to her deply tell her that am very serry for what i wrote to her last time am going to send the reciept to you but am very busy right know will are doing edition because we are going to mis niegria soon so i have to pecepate my self and my collecqeu ok infact am still neede money right know am talking to you if you can give me the money secretlly betwen me and you are will so glad my friend nice to hear good news from you again
Regard
Martins

A prize for anyone who can translate the whole of that last reply into English.

Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:50 pm

And another mugu who gives up his script from email 2 on:

Quote:

From: [email protected]
IP: 82.128.85.114
Subject: t: Re: Details
Tel: Tel: +447o3599o684

Dear Randy

I am ready to become your rep here. Send me your website

Frank

Which R O has duly done Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:50 pm

Thanks to a generous donation from our old friend and follower Bolleboos, his very well baited refugee girl has become interested in MM:

Quote:

Hello

How are you doing today? i hope everything is good? as for me i am good. i want to introduce my self to you first. i am LiIian MebeIs from sierra leone. i am 24 years old, single. i was looking for help, i mean to a place i will be living well and also be working. so my friend T0rvaIds Turlng, advised me to write to you. he said that you will accept me in your modeling fashioned company. so i want to know what you say about me. please i will be waiting to hear from you. thanks remain bless.
my regard to you.

Lilian

My reply - also CC´ed to Otterfan´s character.

Quote:

Dear Lillian,

Thanks a lot for your precious email. I have talked to T0rvalds a lot about what we expect in the year 2010.

First, have you already studied our website to see what we expect from a modelling agent ?

We indeed do have two positions available but we would have to act fast, the summer season is fast approaching and usually we get lots of customers´ requests for fresh model faces especially for the Asian market and South America. Your being from Sierra Leone could indeed mean an important benchmark to set for M00seknuckle Modelling for the upcoming entrepeneurial period.

Let me also talk with Jack about your email. I have taken the liberty to CC him this email to you, which is, I hope, the beginning of a wonderful business relationship - depending on your contacts and willingness to get ahead in the life of photography, dealing with new models and recommending people under your wings for what we think international customers expect fror the markets of the future.

--
Faithfully yours, R. O

It´s time for a Sierra Leone applicant Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:13 pm

And she replies.

Quote:

hello sir

how are you today? please sir i am not a modeling agent. i am an orphan girl, i come to TT to seek for his help. i mean that i wanted him to help me as a friend.if he could provide a work for me. then he told me to write to you that you will help. i don't know anything about modeling agent. i am only interested in working, and making a good living. though i explained my situation to TT. please sir if you really want to help me. to get and work and go out of my present condition, i will really be happy. thanks you and remain blessed.

my regard to you.

Working, baby, means being a modelling agent. - So I explain her how MM work (a.k.a. "script one").

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:27 pm

FrumpyBB wrote:

[...] his very well baited refugee girl has become interested in MM

I've only known her for less than 3 weeks, and about a dozen email exchanges. She's a typical CADANIBLIWMIL ('color and distance are not important but love is what matters in life') lad, and I didn't feel like straight baiting another one of those.
I will make a thread with our mails up to this point.

ETA: I put it here -> http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=181450

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:39 pm

Yeah, ok. I hope she is not going to ask you to do the application process together with her Wink

Actually, I´d like to sidetrack her to Jack more than that (application filling).

Replied:

Quote:

L, TT has indeed asked me to employ you and usually I trust him, so I trust in you. You should trust in yourself and be strong. Being an orphan is something that only God has an explanation for. Maybe TT was given to you by Him .

Now, to become our model agent representative in West Africa I need you to get back to me soon, when you have time for a modelling career.

Ask Jack for more details, and give him my regards.

In case you agree to working with us, we would like to send you the 7000 $ PLUS the agents´ fee, a minimum of 10,000 $ PER submitted model.

For every model that you manage to win for us you get an additional agent´s fee of 10,000 $ on top of your 7,000 $.

For tax reasons, we have no other option than FULL PAYMENT all at once, in cash.

So how many models can you recommend? Male or female, with neutral face expression.

When we receive your positive answer and the application, you should receive the money (7,000 $) at the M00seknuckle event the same day. [LOL that´s always the problem!]

Thank you and I look forward to working with you. You have studied our website?

So she can say "no", and another day is won. I just wanted her to understand that there is ondeed MONEY to be made with MM. Smile

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:58 am

Quote:

hello sir. the fact is that you don't know anything about me. and i am not interested in your money or any payment ok. take care

Not interested in payment? Ok. You won´t get one anyway. I´ll have to think of a reply later today.

EDIT Sent her this:

Quote:

Hello, L.
No problem. God helps those that help themselves. I just owe TT a little favour and wanted to help the person he introduced me as a refugee in Africa.
I´ll turn toward the other applicants then who want to become a valuable member of society.
Stay blessed.
Yours, Randy from http://m00.com

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:43 pm

hello all, nice to see the company is still flourishing. well done.

maybe one day life will allow me to have a bit of fun again.

keep up the good work baiters..

Cheers

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:26 pm

Jack's MM accounts appears to have dried up. I had a quite a few eager lads, and this week? Nothing. Grrr. He might have to go and get some more charm-and-smarm training.

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