Safari: Tosser 0gugu0 don land in Bamako, mali

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Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:56 am

Sent at 7:30 am Bamako time....

Quote:

Respected

I am really being surprised at all these scenarion.

Why do you ask whether i am really in Bamako?

I have been here wondering since tuesday morning i arrived here which i informed you accordingly.

I have repeatedly informed you that i am not lodging in any hotel but i am staying very close to the hotel which i gave you the name with a friend.

I have arrived in the hotel this morning and the receptionist told me tha nobody came looking for me and i aml surprised that you are telling me that the pastor came and was informed that i have left.

I was in the vicinity of the hotel till 11 p.m yesternight before i left.

I am still waiting in the vicinity of the hotel since 8 am and as you have said,i will wait for the jeep as you described.

My name,telephone number and international passport copy is with the receptionist in the hotel.

I left it in case any one comes from you to call me.

Please should i wait till what time because i am really confused and dont know what to do next?

I am being subjected to a critical and very rough condition here now in Bamako.

Please ameliorate my condition now to get back to Ouagadougou.

I did inform you in advance that i will leave ouagadougou on monday morning after consultations with my doctor.

Waiting to read from you and inform me when the pastor leaves the camp for me.

Hope you have copies of my international passport and the brotherhood id card.
Thanks
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU.

HOTEL ADDRESS:
RESIDENCE HOTEL BOUNA
SITUATED ACI 2000 HAMDALLAYE
PLACE DE LA CAN

my tel number:********

Grrr...

Quote:

Tosser 0gugu0, I am surprised that you are questioning whether our pastor arrived at the hotel. He arrived there last night, one hour after you had left. Do you think
I have time to make up stories to entertain you? The receptionist last night must have been a different one to the receptionist who is there this morning. I doubt they
work 24 hours a day, don't you?

As for your claim to have told us in advance of your departure from ouagadougou, you did not. You told me once you had arrived. You didn't inform anyone that you had left Ouagadougou.
Did you think a field hospital would be able to drop all its necessary work to drive straight to you, at a moment's notice? Why did you not write to Sister Tafui to tell her
the time you would leave Burkina Faso, so that she could have arranged for us to be informed? You already knew I could only check my email once a day.

TWICE now I have despatched our pastor, who is much needed here, in one of our vehicles which is critical to the running of our field hospital, only to find you are
not where you claimed to be. Once again, we have been let down due to your lack of diligence. Please do not cause us to waste a third journey. Our pastor will be at the hotel
as soon as he can acquire a vehicle to get to town. Sit tight.

I was warned that you can tend to be rather disorganised. I am beginning to see this. I am praying for your hefty twatting.

Remain barfed upon from the highest

Hopefully I can get another day's lobby loitering out of this. Maybe even more, with luck. That's if his head doesn't 'explose' first Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:17 pm

Did he, or did he not, indicate in his email yesterday that he would wait until 9 am today, and then go back home? You all saw it. Given that can only check his mail once or twice a day, he won't know we gave him up as a lost cause until this evening. Smile

Quote:

Respected

I want you to understand my plight please.

The receptionists who worked there in the hotel yeserday night are still there uptil this moment i am writing to you sir.

You can come now and verify or send ther pastor as you said.

I am not being disorganised but all my worries now is how to get back to ouagadougou.

Do i need to rite to Tafui and inform her o my coming to bamako when i was communicating directly with you and you asdked me not to hesitate to inform you n my arrival in bamako?

Please may i know or have a lttle bi of idea when you hope the pastor will arrive here because i want to see what i can do for myself to get back to my family.

I am broke totally now because bamako is very expensive and i never expected i will stay here uptil till today.

Please let me know the possible time the pastor might tend to arrive here in the hotel.

I am hanging around still in the hotel

Thanks
Remain barfed upon from the highest

Quote:

, we understand your plight but you need to understand the plight of some of our patients. They usually arrive by boat from the Niger or helicopter, and some of them are
in a critical condition and need medical attention immediately. We cannot just let them die while we chase around after you, can we?

Common sense should have told you to let the Commune know you were due to leave Ouaga, and what time you expected to arrive. In an earlier email to , who forwarded
the email to us with your ID documents, you claimed that buses left Ouaga
on wednesday and Sunday. This is the very email you sent him:

''His majesty L.S.D,

I will go bu bus.We have buses to goes to Mali Bamako from here in Ouagadougou every wednesdays and sundays.

Remain blessed
''

How then, were we to expect you to arrive like a bolt out of the blue on a Tuesday morning? We have done everything we can to accommodate the handover of your funds,
but due entirely to your lack of forethought, we have had two wasted journeys.

Furthermore, if you are not staying at the hotel, where are you staying? You claim you are 'with a friend' but you give no address. If you did, our pastor could have called at that address.
Don't you see how screwed up this all is?

We are awaiting the return of a vehicle our pastor can use to attempt to get to you again. Unless you are able to make your way to the camp, this will involve a little patience on your part
until we have the vehicle. Don't worry about the hotel bills and so on, you can settle thiose with the traveller's cheques we have added to the funds. They are safely in the Pastor's briefcase,
and if you try to be where you say you will be, we can easily get the money to you.

My patience is wearing thin.

Remain twatted,

.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:25 pm

Is he hanging around 'in' the hotel, or is management not allowing him leave?

Either way it sounds like he's not having fun. Top Shelf Baiting PDS. Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:42 pm

^^ Good point NN, that's possible, but I've been thinking that his story about 'staying with a friend nearby' indicates he's just using the lobby as a rendezvous point, and may be sleeping rough. He didn't expect to have to stay over in Bamako at all, as far as he knew he'd collect the loot and disappear into the Mali sunset, back eastward to Burkina, looking forward to a bright future of nose candy and prostitutes.

If that's the case, I would think he and his mate are looking a little windswept, and probably a bit pongy by now Smile

Unless they bathed in the Niger river.

Actually, he couldn't disappear eastward into the Mali sunset of course, but I'm sure he'd try.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:29 pm

I would like to know how many hours Tosser spends Crying or Very sad

every day.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:46 pm

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

I've been thinking that his story about 'staying with a friend nearby' indicates he's just using the lobby as a rendezvous point

Once upon a bait I had a lad provide me pictures of him in the hotel to prove his location, and because I didn't think he'd do it. You could tell him, because of the situation, that you're sending someone else to get him. Unfortunately this person has no idea what he or the hotel looks like.

You don't have any pictures on hand, so you need to email some to this other person. You could ask for images and address of his friends house as well, just in-case he misses him.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:23 pm

He still won't tell me what the address is. Of course, he couldn't really book into an Hotel under his own name, since he's planning to make off with a fortune of church money. He's getting a bit minty now, too....

Quote:

Respected

I was really devastated after going through your mail.

You promised me yesterday that you will maka a car available today to come for me and even in your mail today that i should wait there.

But all of a sudden you changed tone of your mail.

Yes i did tell that i will arrive here on the days indicated but the buses have changed teir days of departure and i myself personally informed you that i will leave ouagadougou on monday after my consultations with my doctor.

So now what do you people want from me?You people want me dead or alive,

I have repeatedly told you i am not staying in the hotel.I am staying with a friend in LAFIABOUGOU which is not far from the hotel i wanted us to meet.

How can i make it to your camp when i asked for the name of the camp and i was not told

SECONDLY,WE CONCLUDED BEFORE I LEFT OUAGA THAT THE TRANSACTION WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN BAMAKO.

So now what am i expected to do?
I will decide as soon as i hear from you because i cant continue to live loke this anymore in bamako.
Thanks

TOSSER OGUGUO NWOSU

Quote:

Don't be insolent. You're still talking this drivel about 'staying with a friend not far from the hotel'. Where the hell is that? Why won't you give us an address?
If only you had, then you would have been handed the money by now. Why are you skulking around hotel lobbies when you could have told me exactly
where you are, so that I could send the money directly to you? This isn't a James Bond movie.

I can assure you I have no time to play games. Have you really travelled this far to play jokes on us? Have you something against this brotherhood? Are you going to be at correct place this time, if I send my pastor and our vehicle out to you YET AGAIN?

I have half a mind to forget the whole thing, and concentrate on my hospital. We have bent over backwards to accommodate you. If you had told us you were on your way,
we could have met you at the bus stop and brought you to the camp, but no, you insisted you did not want to come here for some strange reason. I accepted that,
and did my level best to get the money sent out to you, at great difficulty to us.

You have 'repeatedly' told me NO SUCH THING as you are not staying at the damn hotel. From the beginning you told me that's where you were, and when our pastor arrived, he was told
by the receptionist that there was nobody there with your name. All these errors are yours, solely. We don't exist here just to bring money to Tossers from Ouagadougou.

Your attitude leaves much to be desired. If you are to be given almost a million dollars to become a chapel minister, I pray that you develop more patience and less arrogance.

Praying for you to be twatted and shagged in the chuff by hodcarriers, so that good karma can be restored.

.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:25 pm

T0sser 0. seems to like making banners, has he thought of carrying a big picket sign or wearing a sandwich board identifying himself to all passersby? Your man would be sure to spot him then.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:30 pm

^^ Oh nice idea, if he's still there this evening, I'll try to get him to parade in front of the hotel with a card displaying some reference to his being 'the tosser from Ouagadougou'. The English speaking guests at the hotel should get a laugh out of that. Laughing

[edit] If he's really staying in Lafiabougou, it's pretty inconvenient for him to get to the Hotel in Bamako. It's just over 4 miles away. Whether he walks or takes a taxi, it's fine with me.

[edit] ah, I just realised he said he was in Lafiabougou from the beginning. That's the problem then, the pastor's been going to the hotel we arranged over a week ago. It's in bamako. Doh. His fault, for rearranging the meeting place without telling us.

Quote:

I have undergone mental frustrations since tuesday i arrived here.

We agreed on my stopping at SKV gare that brought me here to Bamako and go to any hotel to receive the money.

I have had serious headache and was sleeping and that was why i have not replied your mails.

I am staying with a friend in LAFIAGOUGOU
rRUE;373
PORTE,245
PRESDES TERRAIN BELIER A FROU FROU CARRIE
TELEPHONE NUMBER;********

tThis is the address of where i am staying for now since you need the complete address of where i am.

If your pastor can liocate me with this address that is the best solution.

I am not being arrogant as you said but put yourself in my shoes and see what i am going through.

I am not equally saying you should leave your work to concentrate on me but you should consider that i made almost 7,000 kilometres from ouagadougou to bamako for this purposes and give me urgent attention.

Remain Shagged
Thanks

The distance from ouaga to bamako has gone up again Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Yes, an Hotel in BAMAKO, we agreed, not Lafiagougou. IN Bamako, not NEAR Bamako, not just outside Bamako. Lafiagougou, that's an extra 4 miles for our pastor to drive each time.
We missed our chance earlier while you were asleep. I'll commission another vehicle for this evening when one becomes available.

I don't understand why you made a point about the hotel being expensive yesterday, when you were not even staying at a hotel!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:09 pm

Hope the serious headache continues. Very Happy

Great job, PsycheDelia! clapping

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:24 pm

It'll be a migraine by tomorrow Smile

Since he's staying with a friend, there's no excuse for hurrying back to Ouaga. That's what friends are for. I wish I'd timed this trip for Christmas really, I'm considering letting him go back home, and bringing him back in a couple weeks.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:47 pm

Ah, this really brightens my day! Very Happy

Superb baiting, PDS.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:22 pm

Brilliant, this is!

Keep up the good work and soon you'll have the longest (in 'claimed distance') safari on your name Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:35 pm

I wonder if you convince Tosser to have his friend take him to the river where the camp is. I mean, Tosser has put 2,000kms of commuting miles on his vehicle already. It might be worth it to the friend to take him there and drop him off. Gas and wear and tear isn't cheap! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:49 pm

^^ I've had an idea along similar lines, since I don't think there's much chance of him heading out along the bank of the Niger to take on crocs and such, even he isn't that stupid. The pastor will drop the money off at the wrong hotel in the wrong place, all T0sser 0gugu0 will need to do is travel there and pick it up. Simples. I'm just finding a suitably inconvenient location for this. Two or more hotels with almost identical names would fit the bill nicely.

Uh-oh....

Quote:

Respected

Is LAFIAGOUGOU not in Bamako town?You ake where i am staying and i told you andyou are now turning around to question me ofstaying in LAFIAGOUGOU.
I am confused becauseam now receiving strange emails in my box from unknown persons

o i must have to find my way back.

Could you helpe ut to go back to ouagadougou?
THANKS
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU

I wonder if another guyman's been here and has managed to tip him off? The strange emails aren't from me. Well, no stranger than usual anyway. I'll have to dangle the carrot again, rather than set up hurdles.

Quote:

What are you talking about ? Who is sending strange emails? What kind of strange emails? Do you want us to send the money or not?
Please advise. This game has gone on too long. You know what I mean by Bamako. I mean the city itself. The centre of it, not its outlying areas. Not 4
miles away from the town centre. I don't understand why you're doing this.

Our pastor is still waiting here, with all the money and the banker's draft, for the vehicle to bring the money to you. What should he bring? Should he bother at all?
You sound like you no longer want to receive the chapel funds. Are you cancelling the project? Please advise. This game, if that's what it is, is causing problems here.
Are you sure you are not playing a trick on us? That would be a cruel thing to do to a missionary centre.

Remain shagged

.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:53 pm

Day 4
~~~~

Nothing from him in my box this morning, even after several nudges. My character at the Tosser HQ mailed him too, and I'd come to the conclusion he'd either twigged or cracked up completely. His last email seemed to indicate he was losing it, and it was always possible someone had seen the hotel name and tipped him off.

So I phoned him on the Mali number he gave, and good news: he's still there. He sounded confused, depressed and very tired, but he perked up when I said the money was on the way. We're good for a weekend stopover I think Wink

I guess he's been waiting at the friend's address instead of hanging around the hotel using their wifi. This is no good, I need him out and about.

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:02 am

PDS - I have a few spots you might like to send him.

The Bamako train station is not a great place for people to be wandering. Especially after dark. The streets below Square Lumumba are hot-spots. You could have him wait there at about 10pm. He'll need to bring all his possessions with him.

If you're looking for two places with similar names. Here are two hotels that can cause some confusion. Pariosse Catholique is on Rue 73 Badalabougou Est. It's a depressing little place. The second Is called Mission Catholique at Foyer d'Accueil Bamako Coura, Rue Ousamane Bagayoko. Cheap accommodation, and not in the best places.

Or, you could get him to meet you inside a busy nightclub. Le Byblos (address: Route de Koulikoro, Hippo-drome) <- No joke... He'll have to pay the admission fee of CFA5000 to meet your man. Did I mention it's filled with prostitutes? Your pastor's have needs. Very Happy

They are Tosser's, but occasionally they like the real thing.

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:43 pm

^^ oo if only I knew that before NN. He's off email completely, and although we had a kind of disjointed conversation by phone (on his mali number) yesterday, this safari looks like it's run its course. Getting him off his arse to go anywhere has always been a real struggle, and he was just too chickens*** to explore Bamako once he was there. Hotel lobby, back to friend's house, back to hotel lobby.

I strongly suspect he got a tipoff, although he could be streded and too broke to get online. His last mail was titled "Tanks a lot' and the message body looked like it was typed in panic and despair. It's a mystery right now. I won't know until he gets to a computer, and if he's stopped communicating with the brotherhood, I'll give him a prod from my lad character, thanking him for the money.

On the phone, I can't understand a damn word he says, and he doesn't understand me either. If anyone wants to play the part of a church official, and thinks they can communicate better with him, I'll PM the number.

It's been a good 4 years 2 months. I'll put up a gallery of the pics and the best moments as soon as I can. Smile

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:47 pm

Bugger. Sorry mate.

After 4 years and 2 months invested I still have high hopes for your lad to be hooked again. I think you've achieved the longest single bait I've heard or seen. That deserves big kudos. Very Happy

I look forward to the highlights package. Cool

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:00 pm

Well, he's been run totally ragged, it's a victory for baiting. Lad twiggage is the chance we take when we post here, we know lads come here often, and lads know other lads. Tosser 0guguo's part of a fair sized organized bunch of Nigerian mugus operating in Burkina Faso, so in hindsight I shoulda at least hidden the hotel name. I'll get a format from his usual cafe's IP sooner or later, and have another stab at him Wink

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:35 pm

Too bad if he's really twigged..

Love the new avatar btw Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:36 pm

I'll call him for you, PDS. PM me the details, and what you want me to say to Tosser. Smile

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:03 pm

Tosser 0guguo is the pillock in the cassock. His oga, who I call peanuthead, is to his right. I expect the Tossers he gathered that day were all part of the crew. That was the 'festival of minge' celebration in 2006, there were quite a few new Tossers and Slappers baptised that day. The pics will get posted up soon.

Slaphappy: about to send the PM. Thanks Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:29 pm

No answer. It started to go to voicemail but I hung up. I'll try later. Smile

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:39 pm

I tried too, just rings and rings. The phone's certainly switched on anyway. Odd. Those 'strange emails from unknown persons' seemed to be the turning point. Ah well.

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