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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:58 am

This is by far and away the worst photo-chop in history.

<running to hide from WB wrath>

Wink

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:58 am

Cathartic Kate wrote:

This is by far and away the worst photo-chop in history.

Thank you for your interest, my little tax deduction. Confused

Actually the Borg's equipment has been replaced with a three pin plug Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:46 am

Polite cough.

Let's talk about Catholic Mission Houses.

Obedient Dave has left the hotel with its rising bills, and taken shelter in a Mission House:

Quote:

You are right of what you said that the more i stay the more i own more money,after reading your mail,i went straight to catholic church and spoke with the reverened father regarding my situation and he ask me to come stay in the mission house tomorrow.

I will be going there tomorrow to avoid any problem. all together that i am owing the hotel is 650 starling,please try your best possible to pay the hotel so that i can come back and meet you..is very important for me to meet you so that we can plan for future.

I really wan't to chat with you but my computer always trip off whenever i'm chating,i think that could be virius.I can't wait to see you,have a wonderful day.

My character replied:

Quote:

Oh, that's good, how kind of the Reverend Father to let you stay in the mission house. I hope you are able to do a few little jobs for him or something as a thank you. What's the mission house like? Will you describe it to me?

£650 then? There, it is a good thing I waited, otherwise I would have sent too little! I'll get that straight off to them on Monday.

It's a shame that your Messenger connection won't work properly. Still, we can talk for real soon. I hope you will feel comfortable with me. What do you like to eat, by the way? I'll cook you your favourite foods!

Mission houses and food. Nice wholesome subjects.

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:37 am

Well clearly I was very upset, How could anyone who loves me, deceive me so.
So I sent him a sharp retort,, And as he loves me so, he will grovel and beg forgiveness

Quote:

Hi Dave,,
Thanks fpr your mail,,
Can't say a lot about the photo's might be better had they been you, If your going to fool people, firstly learn to do it.. that picture was photo chopped, I know it and so do you. So lets stop playing silly games. If
you want respect and trust , try earning it, or find a body colour to fit
the head.. Enough said..

As for your hotel bill, how can I possibly help you, and after you try an deceive me , Why should I help you. I'm annoyed Dave. very bloody annoyed. I'm even wondering now if in fact the other photo's where of you. But getting back to your problem , My old father used to say,, "If
you can't afford it, don't have the money to pay for it.. GO without until you do.
'How in hell in a depressed country like Senegal, could you possibly run
up a hotel bill of over 3000 dollars. For that sort of money, you could
just about buy the place..

I would suggest you take a step backwards and attempt to explain yourself, to me.. And also send me a copy of the contract, you promised in your last e-mail.
Angie..

Meanwhile, I will introduce another charature, Angie's good friend and female lover, The cruel and fiendish Lynda Lush, who will know doubt
report just how upset poor Angie is after being deceived with fake photo's.

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:06 am

At least Dave is remembering to answer questions now:

Quote:

Reverend father is a Godly man,i never work for him after much explanation he told me to come and stay with him in the mission house.

Regarding your question,mission house is a kind of temporary accommodation providing mainly for reverend father to live.They normally build within the church premises.I would have love to send you the picture of the mission how but i have no camera with me here.

Continuing with my wholesome topics, I thought that he might like to talk about religion:

Quote:

We are both followers of the Lord Jesus, but I keep the Sabbath on Saturday, and also observe the festivals - I keep Passover, for example, but don't have a festival at Easter. How do you feel about that?

What a surprise: he agrees with everything:

Quote:

i think it is normal we serve our God,because the bible says keep the sabbath day holy.Not having a festival at Easter is a thing of choice the the principal thing is keeping the sabbath day.

Alright then, so let's talk about things that a native-born Englishman like himself would be happy to give his opinions about:

Quote:

The clocks went back last night, what do you think about that, by the way? There is a lot of fuss and objection to it in Scotland, of course.

You forgot to tell me about your favourite foods! I'd love to know, I'd like to cook something you really enjoy for you.

I don't suppose you can get any British-style food in Senegal, can you? What do you miss most?

Let's see how he tries to wriggle out of that.

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:01 pm

Well the ravishingly beautiful Lynda Lush, sent him a few words to the wise, nudge,nudge, wink,wink

Quote:

Dear Mr Nelson,
You do not know me, but I am Anglia's friend and female lover, Linda. Anglia is so upset that you have tried to deceive her. She did show me those photo's and I can understand her disappointment. Firstly by the way you tried to fool her with that photo. Do you really think we are stupid. Poor Anglia can't stop talking about you, and how your going to meet each other in London.. In short your in her head and she's deeply in love with you..
Then you treat her like a fool..
You should beg her forgiveness, if you really think anything of her.

Please do not tell Anglia about this letter ,as I don't want to further embarrass her,
I got your address out of Anglia's personal address book
Regards Lynda Lush

And surprise, surprise he's replied, quick smart..

Quote:

Hello Lynda,

Thanks for your mail,I want you to know that I really love Anglia with all my heart but she always doubt me,whatever I tell her she always doubt me,I let her to understand that doubting will not let this relationship move forward,she need to erase every element of doubt from her mind.

I have sent her many of my pictures, and she always come up with doubt and argument,please try to advise her so that we can achieve our dream and desire.I so much in love with and I am willing to meet her in short time.I cannot deceive nor neglect her because my emotional feelings of love toward her is so strong.
Have a nice day.
Dave.

This of cause opens up a completely new bag of worms, now if Lynda can seduce him, we have the perfect Love triangle, then we can both make him dance..
By the way Branwen he's still in Senegal

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:33 pm

This just arrived,, a with a copy of the contract, and his passport

Quote:

Hello Honey,

How are you doing today hope fine? I am in a sad mode because you always doubt me,I keep telling you to erase every element of doubt from you heart because it cannot help us.Do you think I can deceive you with someone's picture?you requested for my picture and I sent it to you and you still doubt me.

I was born and brought up in a Christian home I cannot do anything that will hurt your feelings,my love for you is true and I cannot express the feelings I have for you,I know quit all right that if I deceive you God will punish me for it,always believe me so that we can achieve our dream and desire,I really want to meet you soon of which we are planing now.

For you to have total trust in me,I enclosed the copy of my International passport and the contract award letter.Not that I spent up to 3000 dollars for hotel,I have some documents that I need to obtain from the federal Government here and it will cost me the sum of 1000 Dollar then the rest will go for the hotel bill.

Try your best to help me with the money,I will return the money back to you as soon as we meet,there is no way I can raise any money here so please try to help me out.I love you from the deep of my heart,with love and kisses.

Dave.

All he's got to do now is supply the Governments banking info, and I can send them a direct payment..

As the letter is none to clear to read, due to the picture download, here's the wording,,

CONTRACT AWARD LETTER

Job order for Welding and burning, Rope and access welding,
Underwater construction and underwater inspection service.

On behalf of the management of Petrosen. I am directed to inform you
That the Excursive Chairman has graciously approved your application
At a cost of 5.000.000 [five million dollars] only.

You are required to notify the board within one [1] week from date of
This letter whether or not the offer is acceptable to you, as it will be
Deemed to have lapsed if the board does not hear from you within the
Stipu;ated period.

On behalf of the management of Petrosen, Accept my hearty congratulations.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dated 10 / 9 / 09

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:56 pm

Branwen all he wants is 650 starling, be generous and send him

these coming home to roost.

^^ Borg sweetheart he is w@nking!

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:40 pm

I know it's usually blackbirds, but maybe he could bake those starlings in a pie:

Quote:

My favorite food is Cottage Pie,i do miss it so much because there is no British food here in Senegal.I do not worry much about it because i will soon leave here.Please don't forget to send the money to the hotel tomorrow as you promised.I need to leave here soon so that i can meet you.I can't wait to see you.

Glad to see he has done some research on British Foods. He has ignored my character's question about the end of British Summer Time, though. Which is a shame. Because she might now feel the need to talk about nothing but that.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I love seeing how you two are making this guy squirm. It makes my heart happy. **sigh** Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:55 pm

It's interesting how he obviously thinks that Angie has much more money to spare (and send to him) than my character!

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:03 pm

^^ Mayhap he is in lurve with your character and sees the Borg as a money printer?!?

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:15 pm

Then where are my naked photos?

He won't even send me a picture of the Mission House!

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

^^^ Maybe he will reveal himself to you! Very Happy

Don't push for the white pics.
Maybe he has plans to run off with your character with Angie's money?
Have you told your lad he will be your first white man? That always gets my lads.
I also inform them I wont tolerate racism in anyway and if they have a problem with my past lovers then they need to move on. Wink

DW wrote:

sees the Borg as a money printer?

Yep that's Borg, a big sign on his back says "I will give you all my money." Laughing

You know we lurve ya Borgie so don't feel bad. Wink

I have a sign on my back too but I wont tell you what mine says.

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:37 am

Being very understanding and compassionate, The lovely Angie wrote him
a nice forgiving letter

Quote:

hallo Dave,,

Thanks for your mail,, You say I doubt you. you send me a photo, with someone who's head is a completely different skin tone to the rest of the body, and expect me to believe it's one person. Dave a 5 year old child would not be fooled by that attempt, Then you wonder why I doubt you. I'm a woman on her own, I have to be careful , I have learned that there are a great many people on the internet who claim to be what there not.. And while I might have money, It would not last long, if I trusted everyone,from just there say so.
You tell me your a business man, but you have no funds, No equipment, no employee's, you no longer show your web site, why is that Dave, then you tell me you will never ask me for money. And in the next e-mail your telling me you can't afford to pay your hotel bill.. And then you say I doubt you..
I'm very upset with you Dave, I thought you where really something special,, and we could live together happly. My girl friend looked at your photo's and said you where not on the level, But I said you where, Now you ask me for money.. Which does not give me a lot of confidence.. We had a bit of a laugh and a few jokes,, You send me photo's, But there is nothing personal about them. The one on the river embankment, where was that taken Dave..

As for the money request Dave, I'm very undecided what to do, I really do want to trust you, But firstly you tell me your Hotel bill was something like 1500 pounds sterling , Then you tell me you need 3000 US dollars, to obtain some paper work, and pay the hotel account.. So where are you living now Dave,

Then you send me a copy of a contract , which is dated the 10th September, which is well over a month ago, and by anyones knowladge the contract work should be well under way. Which it's not And you wonder why I doubt you..

Anyway please supply me with the hotels web site, and there business address, together with there banking details, and I will try and sort out your account for you, I'm not completely without understanding. But if your still living there I would suggest you find cheaper accommodation. And you wonder why I have doubts.
Anyway please get back to me with the details,
Angie xxx

Quick as a speeding bullet he's back with a nice friendly reply, as he should be,,

Quote:

Hello Honey,

Thanks for your quick response,my head in that picture is not different just that the place was so dark, but de body's in de daylight i cannot play with your feelings try to believe me,your doubt is too much and it cannot help this relationship,why not erase every element of doubt from your mind? I have given my hearts to you shit, he's a Vulcan,
like Mr Spock, they have twin hearts and my plan towards you is to live together in peace.

I am really getting tired of argument and different accusation,because of your doubt,i sent you the copy of my international passport and the contract paper which was dated a month ago what else do you want me do again?I am asking you for help in order to get everything done before the date set for the contract.If you go through the contract paper you will see the date set for the starting of the contract. I am still in the hotel here but i am planing to move out as soon as you send me money to pay for the bill,after that i can look for the cheaper one and be there till the contract paper is done.

The picture you ask for, was taken in East London beach, with the Eiffel Tower in the top left hand corner as for the hotel details you requested for,the manager told me that their website is under construction, business address of the hotel is :Route de l'aéroport, Cité ICS N°52 Ouest Foire Dakar Senegal. Below is the hotel banks details....

Company Name------- CAJUSKii Holdings Inc
Account Number------ K0140 01001 010200057993 RIB 24
Bank Name-------------- INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIAL BANK-DAKAR SENEGAL.
Swift Code--------------- ICSGSNDA

I hope with this you can be able to help so that we can meet soon,i love you from my heart,i can't wait to see you.

Dave.

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:46 am

Mean while the oversexed Lynda Lush, has also had a reply, from Angie's on line lover.

Quote:

Hello Lynda,

How are you doing today hope fine? Thanks for your response,i am not disputing with all your request but in other way round,i must have to confess the truth i cannot send the picture of my nakedness to you without the concept of my love one Angie,despite the fact that you are close friend,i cannot do that unless the permission is been granted and confirm by my love one Angie.It will be better if Angie allow you to view my nakedness picture that i sent her that will be better enough for you.

I have not be in contact with any Australia girl,it will be nice for me to see you girls in future,try to talk to your friend Angie to stop doubting me,it won't help the relationship.Thanks for your nice pictures,i cant wait to see you girls.

Have a nice day.

Dave

Lynda can get quite bitchy, when she can't get her own way. I fear there's a shit fight coming, and it will be little Dave's fault.

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:01 am

Well done for getting him to write to TWO of your delightful ladies!

My character has made the previously-cancelled bank transfer again:

Quote:

I've made the transfer to the hotel - please can you give me their email address, so I can send the details directly to them; I also need to ask them for a receipt, of course. The man in the bank was going on about 'Are you sure about this?' and 'Remember you can cancel it again' once more: I'm sure it makes him happy to be so protective, though it is somewhat annoying. I was polite to him, however.

And loves to talk about current topics to a native Englishman:

Quote:

You didn't tell me your thoughts on the clocks going back: I'm interested to know whether a southerner has a different viewpoint to the thoughts of people up here.

What do you think of Hallowe'en? My son has been invited to a typical Hallowe'en party and I don't wish for him to attend. I am not one to impose my choices upon another individual, including a child, so I am trying to explain to him why I find it a problem. It is not the objections raised by evangelicals; I more think that it is a mockery of Paganism, and there lies my discomfort. But can an eight-year-old, even a thinking eight-year-old, understand?

What is the Catholic church's stance on children's Hallowe'en celebrations?

What would you say to my son?

Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:08 am

Well it looks like the shit fights about to start, So good old Angie, sent
this to lover boy, Should get the old guilt complex going..

Needless to say the original didn't have icon's for naughty words, But that Anglia's turned out a real mean bitch

Quote:

hallo Dave,

Haven't been able to get into the city yet,, big storms, the roads gone
out again, I expect we'll get another patch up job, f Evil or Very Mad

k'in council need a swift kick in the Evil or Very Mad

. Dunno what we pay council rates for, never get
any thing done right.
I've tried to do it via the internet E-banking system,, but it won't except the long account number,, Normally the BSB number
[BSB = Bank State Branch] normally only works on a 4 digit code and
the account number is 6 digits.

Talking about digits how your Evil or Very Mad

k, I'd like a nice photo taken from
the side, So I can work out how big you are, Have you measured him lately.

I don't know what you said to Lynda, but f Evil or Very Mad

k, she's got the shits
about something, Went on about you not sending her any photo's of
your Evil or Very Mad

, said I had to show her what you sent me..Which I already have, F Evil or Very Mad

k she was ugly about it, Dunno what you said to her, but she's ready to cut it of . Came in here, said something about , she hopes you can't get it up, when we meet. I think you better watch what you say to her and send her a nice photo, But for f Evil or Very Mad

k sake don't send her a photo of the roses or the dog.. she's going on about not being good enough to Evil or Very Mad

you off . I'll try and carm her down,
Now I'm not being picky or doubting you, I won't do that, but sometimes a girl likes to ask a question and get an answer, without
getting shit on her lower lip. So tell me Dave,, which London beach are you talking about.

Do you think it might be an idea to move out of that hotel, as your only running up a bigger dept..

I'll leave Lynda's reply for a few hours, just in case he has the brains to work out what's going on.. Then I can blow the shit out of him for starting a fight between friends, and with any luck he's be so concerned about bitchy Anglia, he'll forget all about the money.
I must tell him I can hardly wait for our meeting, and he'll be easy to spot in a crowd. I bit like a Blackhead on legs

Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:59 am

^

The Lad has been doing some Net research. I don't think he has the faintest idea what he is talking about, but he is trying to answer my character's questions about the end of British Summer Time, and Halloween and the Catholic church:

Quote:

About the clock going back,my view toward it is not bad because the clocks going back will not make any difference,it does not affect human's health.

Hallowe'en festival is known as a pagan festival which many christian do not buy the idea and moreover Hallowe'en is an ancient festival and during that time Christianity were few but the world is advancing now and Christianity is dominating everywhere,i want you to also know that it always hard to eradicate Trandiction and culture,so people that believe them will definitely celebrate it,the idea of your son not going to Halloween festival left for you,you decide that yourself.

Pope Gregory I, in 601 issued a decree to his missionaries about the faith and customs of the people whom he wanted to convert to Christianity. Gregory knew that it would be impossible to eradicate the beliefs of the natives totally and so suggested to his priests that they "convert" them whenever possible.

OK. Next subject, then:

Quote:

I said to my son that it would be more fun to celebrate Bonfire Night than Hallowe'en. I underestimate that child! He replied to me, 'So you think it is better to celebrate the killing of Catholics than to pretend that there are ghosts?' Honestly, I've never thought about it that way before! I always enjoyed Guy Fawkes Night so much as a child, myself, too! My parents always built their own little bonfire in the garden and the neighbours would come and we had hot dogs and jackets and it never seemed to rain!

What about you? What did you used to do for the 5th November as a child? You are older than me, so it must have been very different in your day, before all those health and safety regulations! What were your favourite fireworks?

Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:40 am

Well Lynda's replied to dear Dave, all quite understanding of cause, Must get the little shit on side.

Quote:

Dear David,,
Nice to read your email, unfortunately I feel so sad and dejected that you won't allow me to see your Willie, I'm afraid I blew poor Anglia away to day, when I told her she was a possessive bitch, for not letting me see your Willie pictures, So she showed me one. But your little head was a funny colour, Nothing like the colour of your little pink body.. And when I asked her, she told me, it was none of my business. now I'm a bit crazy at times, but I think your coming between us, and I sort of hate you.. So please tell her to allow me to see your Willie photo's. have you sent anymore by the way. I've told her that unless she shares your pictures,
I won't share my boy friend with her.. But I don't think she cares, Am I being bitchy David , Please tell me the truth,

Then she told me that your planning to meet her in London, I hope you have a nice hotel, as Anglia is a bit picky about that sort of thing, But as
I told you before , she's completely gone on you, and can't talk about anything else. So you really must have impressed her.. I hope you can treat her the way she's accustomed too..

Well David, I guess I've taken up enough of your time, Please don't come between us, I'm sure your man enough to keep us both happy
Yours Lynda,, All sad and alone, in this big world.

Mean while little Dave is getting a bit desperate for cash, to fix up the hotel account. And all talk about his contract has gone out the window..
makes a note to ask how it's progressing. And if he can't pay the hotel, how will he be able to afford to fly back to London, to take me to the beach. to no doubt ice skate at this time of year.

Quote:

Hello Dear,

How are you doing today hope fine? how is the situation of the storm right now? In fact i never say any bad word to Lynda,i only told her that i cannot send her any picture of my c Evil or Very Mad

k without without your concept,
i don't really know if that will make her to mad at me.

I think it will be nice for you to meet me London so that i can take you around the city and beaches,I believe you will enjoy your visit as i am ready to show you love and f Evil or Very Mad

k you every day and night.Seeing is believing that is why i want you to come,you will enjoy my c Evil or Very Mad

k and i will give you hard f Evil or Very Mad

k that you will never forget in your life,i am 100 percent Physically fit and i have a good size for you.

My time is running out now,i suggest that you send the money via western union because it will be more faster,so that i can get everything done and go back to London for our meeting.Bellow is the info for the western union...

Receiver's Name : NELSON DAVE

Address: Cité ICS N°52 Ouest Foire Dakar Senegal.

Please try to send the money today or tomorrow,i really want to meet you soon,with love and kisses.
Dave.

Looks like he's given the idea of banks away,, just when I had it all sorted out. Now to try and sort out the Western onion thing, I'll have to ask him what it is and what it does.. Question

I can be a real dumb bitch when it suits me.

Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:28 am

I think Dave's about to two time Angie,, This just in from Lynda,,

Quote:

Hello Lynda,

Thanks for your your mail the content was clearly understood,don't be annoyed about what i said,not all woman that like his boy friend to share his picture with other of her friend. I will try to send you my Willie photo's as soon as snap. I do not have any one at the moment but i will see what i can do to send it to you by next week.

I am going to treat Angie nicely and i will make her happy for the rest of her life,we are going to have nice time together in London.

Have a nice day.
Dave.

Bless him , he sounds so sincere.

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:38 am

We it would seem we have sorted out the problem with the photo's I've told him I won't be jealous, But Lynda's boy friend might be.. O-dear
Wonder if he know's Lynda's boy friend is Chopper [how you fuck'in going] Reed

Quote:

Hello Honey,
I wouldn't mind to share my pictures with Lynda,i just want to get the order from you before sending her any picture of mine,now that you agreed i will get other nice picture by next week and send to both of you.It will be nice to make both of you happy as you normally do things together with her boy friend,in fact our meeting in London will be more fantastic and enjoyable,i am warming up for that.I am going to give you hard fucking and sucking till you sleep off, i have a large size of cock which will be good for you. O I am lucky, yawn

About the contract,i have not started yet,i am here in Senegal to get some documents done,the contract work will commence ending of next month.I will be back to London immediately the document is done.As i told you before i do not have any employee right now,because i have not started the contract yet,as soon as the document is done i will organize for people to work with me.Since i broke i find it difficult to raise money but with this contract now i will be financially settle.

I will move out here as soon as the bill is paid,there is no way i can check out without paying my bill,that is why i want you to send the money via WESTERN UNION, because bank transfer will take good four days before the account owner can withdraw it. I will advise you to take the money to the following agents that i enclosed their address, just open the attach and you will see there about 20 Addresses of Western Union agents where you can send the money,just take the money to the agent and tell them you want to send money via Western Union and they will direct you on how to send it,and i will receive the money within 5 minutes after sending it.Note, you are not sending it to London,you are to send it to me in Dakar Senegal.They will request receiver's info from you..

Here is my info as the receiver.

Receiver's Name : NELSON DAVE

Address: Cité ICS N°52 Ouest Foire Dakar Senegal.

I still have my return ticket to go back to London,so don't worry about it.Yes i will pay back your money that is not a problem,please try and send me the money today so that i can check out of this hotel and get the rest documents done and go back to London for our meeting.I cant wait to see you,with love and kisses.

Dave.

Well that's really helpful sending me a nice long list of Western Onion agents. the only problem is, there in California and I'm in london.. still no point in worrying about details,

Quote:

WESTERN UNION AGENTS IN MOUNTAIN VIEW CALIFONIA
(1) ONE STOP GROCER
400 MOFFETT BLVD
Mountain View, CA 94043-4700

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:31 pm

^ I understand now why Western Union is so fast and convenient!

Dave has managed to Google 'Guy Fawkes night' and 'fireworks' (emphasis his):

Quote:

I enjoyed Guy Fawkes Night so much when i was child,i use to be with my friends shooting CHIRPING ORIOLE CANDLE.my favorite firework is CHIRPING ORIOLE CANDLE,i like it because it has Six powerfully loud whistling comets with gold tails shoot skyward.

I'd never heard of such things myself, but apparently they are a type of Roman Candle.

Now I need to think about what interesting British topic he would like to Google next.........

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:40 pm

How about the Ancient Lancastrian art of Eckythump???

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