holy cow

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Jul 2009 Posts: 20

true story
two years ago I had a mild heart attack(im OK now healthier than I was 10 years ago)After my third or forth day in the hospital I was dieing for some real food. In this hospital a patient orders his own food from the cafeteria with certain dietary restrictions. I was restricted to the cardiac diet. No fats ,red meat, caffiene etc. I tried every thing to get a hamburger.
Then I remembered what a friend once told me, nurses have to believe what ever you tell them. It made sense to me. So I gave it a shot at breakfast
I told the nurse that I belonged to the Church of the Holy Cow and that sausage and bacon were a dietary requirement of my religion that I had to have for breakfast. She looked at me with a puzzled expression and said she'd check with my doctor.
15 minutes later my wife came in and her first words were "What Did You Tell That Nurse? Are You Insane?"
Now I have to go back to Shiver's letter to see who thought of it first lol
thnx von

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

Keep munching the hamburgers, sausages and (fried) bacon and you'll get another shot at hospital food ... but only if you're lucky! Smile

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:29 pm

I was visiting with my father right after he got wheeled out of recovery from his angioplasty. Someone had set up a plastic tent around his head to saturate the area with oxygen instead of putting a mask or nasal cannula on him. He's still a little groggy from the anesthesia but when I ask if there's anything he wants, he reaches into his sock and starts waving a few twenty dollar bills, tells me to buy some cigarettes and to keep the change. I thought of doing an advance fee fraud on him for his own good, but decided to pull the ITP rule on him. I pointed out that with the higher oxygen levels, the whole wing could go up in flames in seconds. He did give up smoking.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:29 pm

^^ Got to admire his dedication though!